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Happy Monday and welcome to your
mental health mini. 

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This is also your mini reminder 
to vote if you're listening to 

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this on Election Day. 
This week's guest is Sammy 

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Halverson, and we are talking 
self-confidence. 

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A lot of times I'll ask girls, 
I'm like, tell me just five 

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things that you love about 
yourself. 

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And they're kind of like, is 
that allowed? 

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And I'm like, how do you not 
know what you love about 

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yourself? 
And it's almost like our brains 

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are trained to think that if we 
love something about ourselves, 

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then we're going to be arrogant 
or we're going to be conceded, 

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or we're going to think that 
we're better than other people. 

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So actually what self-confidence
is, is the ability to be 

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vulnerable and open up yourself 
to negative emotion. 

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Say I'm trying to make some 
friends, all right? 

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And I am self confident. 
That means I'm going to go up to

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somebody and I'm going to say 
hi. 

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And I am going to let it be 
awkward, as awkward as possible,

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right? 
And that's what self confident 

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people do is they allow 
themselves the awkwardness. 

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And even now when I meet 
somebody, I'm like, Oh yeah, 

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this is awkward. 
It's it's just awkward. 

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Awkwardness is going to be 
there. 

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And self confident people, they 
let it be there. 

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They let themselves be open to 
being judged and they let 

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themselves be vulnerable and 
they let themselves be laughed 

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at. 
And when we're not self 

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confident, we run away from 
being laughed at. 

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We run away from the awkward 
conversations. 

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We run away away from being 
judged, we run away from being 

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embarrassed. 
And so it's not that self 

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confident people don't feel any 
of those negative emotions, but 

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they allow themselves to feel 
those negative emotions and they

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open themselves up to it. 
So anytime we wanna make 

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friends, it's gonna be awkward. 
We're going to be judged, People

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are going to look at us and we 
allow ourselves that. 

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Anytime that we get up in front 
of people and we talk, we are 

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allowing ourselves to be judged 
and we're going to feel 

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embarrassed. 
People are going to make 

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comments about us. 
And the self confident people, 

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they embrace that and they know 
that. 

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That's part of it. 
Anything worth having, you have 

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to go through negative emotion 
to get it. 

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And if that's how it is, the 
self-confidence, like you have 

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to put in the work to go through
all the negative emotion to get 

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yourself confidence. 
And I think it just, it builds 

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on itself. 
You know, the more and more 

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awkward conversations you have, 
the better you get having 

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awkward conversations. 
And that's eventually where 

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yourself confidence comes from, 
right? 

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The more people that laugh about
you, about the way that you 

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look, and the more you embrace 
it and you let yourself be 

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vulnerable, it's like, yeah, 
that's how you gain yourself 

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confidence by going through all 
those negative emotions. 

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I do so much coaching on girls 
who are always worried about 

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saying the wrong thing or just 
like overanalyzing and 

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overthinking everything that 
they say to a friend or text. 

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Whereas if you, if you truly 
loved yourself and you had 

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really great opinions of 
yourself, like I'm not expected 

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to be perfect. 
I'm not going to be perfect, 

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right? 
Then we allow ourselves to make 

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mistakes and have grace with 
ourselves and love ourselves 

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instead of like beating 
ourselves up. 

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If we constantly have the 
thought I'm not good enough, 

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then we are going to feel 
unworthy or depressed or sad. 

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And then when we feel sad or 
unworthy or depressed and all 

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those kind of emotions because 
we're thinking I'm not good 

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enough, then we take actions 
from that place, which are when 

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we're, when we're sad and 
depressed. 

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What do we do? 
We avoid and we distract 

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ourselves from living our lives.
And we scroll on our phones and 

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we look at all the ways in which
we are not good enough. 

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Our brain is really, really good
at gathering all the evidence to

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support what we're believing. 
And so when we stay in our bed 

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and we don't live our lives, 
like our result is that we we 

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don't get out there and we don't
expose ourselves to the world 

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and we don't enjoy being who we 
are, which is such a gift. 

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And people around us don't get 
to enjoy us either. 

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And so I just think that when we
train our brains to think I'm 

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not good enough, or nobody likes
me, or nobody wants to be my 

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friend, or nobody cares about 
me, we actually end up causing 

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our own result in that sort of 
way where nobody has a chance to

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get to know you, nobody has a 
chance to love on you because 

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they don't ever see you, or 
nobody talks to because you're 

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not around. 
So if we can change the way that

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we think about ourselves and 
view our worth and view our 

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value, then we can ultimately 
change our result, which is 

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enjoying who we are and being 
the best version of ourselves 

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and letting the world get to 
know us and letting the world 

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get to know of our goodness. 
I just feel like there's so many

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amazing things about everybody 
on this earth and we're all so 

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different and we all have so 
much to offer that if we can 

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believe that the world wants 
what we have to offer, the world

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will embrace us. 
If you enjoyed this week's 

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mental health mini, you can 
listen to the full episode. 

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It is episode 86 featuring Sammy
Halverson, the host of the Teen 

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Life Coach podcast. 
A link to the full episode is in

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the show notes. 
As always, make sure to leave a 

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review, subscribe, share with a 
friend or family member, and 

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follow it at She Persisted 
Podcast. 

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Thanks for listening.