Welcome to, she persisted, I'm your host CD son.
Every Friday. I post interviews about mental
health, dialectical behavioral therapy and Teenage life.
These episodes break down my mental health Journey.
Teach skills to help you cope with life and showcase
testimonials from individuals, including teens, just like you.
Whether you've struggled yourself or just want to improve
your mental Fitness. This podcast is your inspiration
to live a life, you love and keep persisting.
This week's. DBT skill is self-soothing.
I feel like we could all use a little bit of self soothing in
our Lives. Right now, this feels pretty
straightforward. What you are doing, is you are
soothing emotionally, using your five senses.
So I'll give you some examples. So for touch, maybe you're like
patting your talk or you're putting on a really comfy
blanket. And maybe you were getting a
massage, getting your nails done taking a hot shower, all of
those kinds of things for Taste. Maybe you are baking your
favorite treat or you're drinking a relaxing tea.
I'm having a smoothie things that are soothing and enjoyable
for you for smell. Maybe your lighting your
favorite All using your favorite lotion going outside and like
smelling nature or you're drinking your favorite cup of
coffee for the smell. Also, for taste for hearing,
maybe you're listening to music a podcast, a book, all of those
kinds of things. Maybe you are really leaning
into the quiet and unplugging independently being outside and
just listening to The Sounds around you.
Foresight you maybe are watching your favorite movie reading a
book that you love people watching tons of different ideas
here. But whatever is soothing for
you, one of my favorite tips for this is to beforehand come up
with a list of what works for you.
So that when you really need to self-soothe and self-care, you
know, exactly like which candle to grab our which tea works for
you and what movie to watch rather than being like.
Okay, I need to know. I need to self-soothe right now
but do I take a hot shower or do I take a cold shower?
Do I go out? I do I stay inside.
So figure out what works for you.
Make a list in your phone, on a piece of paper, whatever works
and have that as your go-to for when you are feeling
overwhelmed. Hello, hello, and welcome.
Back to she persisted, I am out of quarantine, my voice is back.
I'm so excited for this episode. Our Guest today is Fe o soltera.
She is a mindset and manifestation coach and she also
hosts a podcast called the Manifest at it.
This conversation goes, literally everywhere we talked
about her journey overcoming childhood Emma, we talked about
the coaching client relationship, we talk about
manifesting and really breaking down.
What that is, all these Buzz words, you've heard like angel
numbers and all that kind of stuff that I know you've seen on
Tick-Tock because I've seen it as well, we talked about
misconceptions, the manifesting world we talk about
spirituality. We talk about how mental health
and manifestation intersect, and really dive into subconscious
programming. And then we also touched on how
raised relates to manifesting. This is just such a good
conversation and it's one of my favorites that I've done in a
while. So, as always You enjoyed this
week's episode, make sure to rate and review on Apple podcast
and on Spotify share with a friend or family member.
And if you guys want to follow along with FES, she says it at
the end, but her Instagram is at FES Holter.
EFI ASU, lter underscore, same thing for tick, tock, and our
website is FES Holter.com. So with that, let's dive in.
Thank you so much for joining me today on.
She persisted, I'm so excited to have you on the show.
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and to
get into our discussion today as well.
Yeah. So I want to hear your story.
I want to hear how you got to the point of doing the work that
you are now and working in manifestation and and hosting a
podcast and all of that. So, so talk to me about your
journey. I think the thing about my
journey is that are so many points that feel like beginning
points, but it'll kind of like loops around, which I'm sure is
the case for many people story. But for me, I think it really
began in my childhood That I had a bit of a different upbringing
from other people. I was in the care system and I
was adopted at age three and I had a really, really beautiful
kind of normal issue as normal as your life can be as a kid
growing up and I lived with My adoptive mother until I was 14
and which point she unfortunately passed away due to
a long-term illness. And so really at that point, in
fact, not even at the point that my mom passed away.
But from as early, as 10 was, when my life really began to
change. Change because my mom was
gradually declining and her help and they went from that position
artists like being a normal kid and living a childhood to
Growing Up incredibly quickly and inside of that we had also
grown up Butters. So I feel like in many ways my
childhood was different to the childhood of my peers.
My mom was kind of spiritual had crystals around the house, they
like dial-up, Tony Robbins compasses.
So for me, as an adult going into spirituality and becoming a
manifestation coach Not that much of a reach.
But it was, it definitely wasn't something that I always knew I
was going to do. And I feel so many of the
experiences I had in my own childhood and the importance of
the people I had in my life, who mentored me outside of the
traditional family roles, apparent roles had a huge impact
on the person I am today. And so in the work that I do, I
know the importance of people like that.
And I think something which is often not really sure I heard
about the, what I find to be so beautiful about the coaching
relationship. Up is that you can have friends.
You can have family members but we don't always have entirely
honest discussions with people and it's not because we don't
love them that we're not having honest conversations but it's
because we love them so much that we don't want to have an
honest conversation. And so when you hire a coach
like I you're not paying me to be your best friend.
Like I love you and I care about you and that's why we are going
to have a relationship where I'm going to help you see what your
blind spots are. And we may even have some
difficult and challenging conversations inside of that.
But that's because number one, that's what you're paying me
for. Number two.
Like that is how we get that true growth is by Illuminating,
what's in the blind spot so that we can fully become the most
Integris version of ourselves. Yeah, I love that.
And I think that's so true. And I think there's also
something really beautiful about having like a third party that
you can go to once a week. Once a month, whatever it is,
and really just like let things go and invent and get those
emotions out, and then not have to like, not deal with the
repercussions, but it's not like you are complaining to your mom
and then every three Times. Three times a day.
You see her. She's like, how's that situation
going? Like I've already moved on, I
wanted to talk about it once and then just continue on with my
life. So it's such an amazing thing to
have someone that you can, it can talk to and open up with and
get like professional support from Yeah, I totally agree and I
love the example that he's there but it's true and you know, if
you've ever thought about a friend and they're in a
relationship and you're like, yeah he's a great and you know,
they keep taking them back and you have to just be there and
support them because that's what a friend is for.
So the relationship is different, although you may feel
like you have that friendliness inside the relationship.
Obviously, you don't want to work with someone that you don't
like, but it's different and I think it's a beautiful thing.
Totally. So manifestation is a huge buzz
word right now. I feel like Tech talks on my for
you page or talking about manifesting and goals, break it
down for us. What does it mean to to manifest
something? At a very basic level to
manifest? Something is to make something
real, to make something tangible.
So to take something from an idea to something that you can
experience in your 3D reality. Something you can part
something, you can see something that it's like, not just
existing in your brain is the process of manifestation.
So we're all manifesting all the time.
I'm but as a manifestation coach, I'm helping people bring
more of an awareness to their subconscious programming.
So that they can reprogram it to be more success.
And I don't just mean success in, like, monetary or tangible
outcomes, but also in the way that you feel and so our
subconscious programming is so so important for the way that we
live our lives and not enough people know about it and we you
know if you've ever had this idea and you're like yes this
way when I have this one attract and then you say all these
things and you're like wait but why isn't it happening?
Is because Divide percent of your life is run by your
subconscious programming. Your subconscious programming
informs everything. And so for me inside of my work
is very important for me to add some of the context and Nuance
that's missing from the manifestations face which as you
say on Tick-Tock. And by the way I'm also in
Tick-Tock I love to talk. I'm on there all the time saying
but there's only so much you can say in a three minute videos.
So it's very important to me that I am helping to empower
people through the lens of like what manifestation is what
manifestation isn't and adding that context back.
To some phrases or some ideas that you're seeing online that
their own just not quite fully though.
Yeah, no, I think that's so true.
Going to the subconscious belief systems and subconscious beliefs
that people hold are there common ones?
That lots of people are operating by that are just
creating huge blocks, or is it super subjective?
And everyone is has different belief systems that they're
utilizing. I think there were many common
limiting beliefs mindset blocks that appear in different ways,
but I don't want to only attribute it to beliefs because
beliefs is just one small part of what your subconscious
programming is. We also have your identity, we
have your trauma, we have your lived experience.
And so obviously every person is completely different in that
respect. But Justin limiting beliefs, I
believe that there are there are many similar ones like fear of
success, fear of failure, fear of what other people are going
to think that we many people have.
But they may present differently.
Yeah. No, I I think that's true in it
completely impacts how you're interacting with the world, what
relationships? You're diving into what
different career paths, or education paths, you're
pursuing? And I think that's very true.
What are some different ways to manifest?
I know there's probably endless different examples but are there
common ones that you like to implement and use with clients?
I think it depends on where they're at in their spiritual
journey and what specifically they want to manifest.
And so, I'll give you an example.
Yesterday, on Tick Tock, someone asked me for advice with
manifesting custom friends know, like, can you give me some
affirmations to manifest and Browns from like all?
Yes, I could give you some affirmations to manifest and
friends but also it depends like what your current mindset is
around manifesting friends. Like I don't want to give you
this like advice without context and so the advice I gave them
when it came to mind. Surround the rather than just
like an affirmation, like I have friends.
Now I have a friend group, which is probably not going to do much
of that. Feels super far away for you
right now was to think about the kind of relationships that they
wanted to have into the script on and write on those kinds of
relationships. And then most importantly is to
take actions based off of those relationships.
And so when we talk about relationships, I think the piece
that's often missing is like, yes be really clear on like the
people that you want to try out and have in your life but also
like are you nourishing yourself in those He's like, oh, I want a
person who's going to this and there's nothing special with
romantic relationships, like okay.
But are you doing all of those things?
Are you cooking for yourself or you treating yourself?
Are you saying nice words and loving on yourself?
And we have to treat ourselves the way that we expect other
people to treat us as well. And I'm not saying like, I don't
believe you can't. No one's going to love you
unless you love yourself, that kind of thing.
I don't believe that but I believe it's important that
we're not just external izing or needs to other people in that.
We are fulfilling our selves. So when it comes to manifesting
something, I think getting really clear on it.
And then also noticing like, Okay.
Are the actions? I'm taking are actually aligned
with that because if you're saying like, I want to manifest
a new friend group, I want to have new friends, but you're not
meeting people or you're not messaging people and asking them
if they want to hang out then, not much just go champ.
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In today's show notes. You mentioned that how people
manifest kind of depends where they are at in their spiritual
Journeys? What is the connection there
between spirituality and manifest?
Nation. I'd love to kind of learn more.
So, for me, manifestation is absolutely synonymous with
spirituality because the relationship that you have with
the universe and that's not to say that if you are Christian or
any other religion, that is not going to work as well.
Like, I think it's very personal to the individual.
But for me, the way that I practices is through the lens of
spirituality in that part of the manifestation process is
communicating with the university guides, your higher
self angels to make the reality that you want to happen happen.
And so why I said it depends where People are on their
spiritual journey as because personally, I'm not of the
belief that manifestation happens overnight.
And if you see someone saying like I might have something in
24 hours or instant manifestation, I think that it's
important to say that we do the building blocks of mindset work.
And once we've done those building blocks of mindset work,
it may be quicker for some things to happen in that, it
looks like something happened in 24 hours, but it's actually
because, like, of all the groundwork that you've laid up
until that point. And so, it's like, when you hear
people say, like when you're freelancing, Charge by the hour
because you're not accounting for all the skills that you've
learned. I've actually allowed you to now
complete something quickly, and it's just the same for
manifestation is like, so if your other Minds that you just
getting beginning with mindset manifestation, where I can at
the moment, your mindset is like it's really hard to manifest
things. I don't think I'm a very
powerful powerful Manifesto if I just was like, okay yeah, here's
your affirmation to manifest, your friends and you're still in
the mindset of like it's going to be really hard and
challenging then it's not going to change.
Whereas if you were the mindset like yep, I know I'm a super
powerful manifest error. I'm like, ready to take action
on. Do I need to do?
I just need some affirmations to support me because I'm like
feeling creatively challenged at the moment.
That's a different story. Hmm, you mentioned angels.
I feel like angel numbers are another thing that are blowing
up right now. Walk me through those, what they
mean, what they can symbolize and, and some common ways that
those are implemented and either you like your daily life or your
clients. So, there are so many angel
numbers. I absolutely don't know.
Every single one of my heart may be on its own brother that but I
will talk to you about science and so You see at University, I
studied semiotic switch is the study of Science and I think a
piece that isn't really talked about when it comes to signs is
why I don't advocate for my clients to ask for signs.
Either is because I believe when you ask for a sign your
externalize, in your decision making process in, you're
putting your power somewhere outside of yourself.
That's not to say that don't use signs, but the way that I
encourage people to use them are different.
So, instead of, if I meant to leave this relationship, Give Me
A Sign. Or if this is the job for me,
give me a sign. I encourage people to to use
those signs as like nonce and confirmations that you're on the
right path and those nods and confirmations are going to show
up differently. And so for me, when I'm
manifesting money, a signal to me that I'm on track to hit my
money goal is if I see money on the ground, it doesn't matter if
it's $2 $1. If I see money on the ground,
that's assigned to me that I'm on track with my money goals.
Does that mean the same to everyone else?
No, but I've chosen for that to be a sign that signals that to
me. And so we get to choose like,
okay this is going to Signal this to me, but Only call on
that. Like if I don't see the money on
the ground and that means I'm not going to him.
Go broke. Because markets.
Yeah, exactly. That's just like a nice to me.
Like, keep going on the right path.
You know, that kind of like it's like a helpful presence rather
than like I need this to know. Hmm.
So would you say that you'll numbers like, you are at first
like talking to yourself and saying, okay, this is a signal
that I will look for and then that's when it has meaning or is
it. Not attached to setting it at
intention initially. So with angel numbers, angel
numbers already have, like, kind of more prescribed meanings than
just like a random. I don't know.
Whatever people uses signs like an animal or a guide, right?
But angel numbers have more prescribed meetings.
So for example, 1111 is a signifier that whatever you're
thinking about this moment. In time, your desires are
manifesting quickly. So, to be aware of what you're
thinking at that moment, I'm 333 is like this, change is coming.
555 your angels and your Masters are near you.
So I don't, I don't ask to see those into numbers, but when I
see them throughout the day, I'm like, oh okay, I'm been seeing
1111 lot. Recently, was I saying, okay,
like have I been thinking things are conducive to what I want to
manifest. So if you're seeing Angel
numbers that can be like a okay, let me just look into this and
see, like, what, what am I being called to?
So it's more, like your angels are guiding you and your signs
are a signifiers. You're on the right path.
Yeah. Yeah.
What are some common misconceptions that people hold
about manifesting, and it's Into spirituality.
I think some common misconceptions are.
I think there's two kinds of misconceptions.
There's misconceptions that come from people who are very far
removed from the space and are just like yeah.
All of this is BAS and it just seems completely unrealistic and
then we have also misconceptions that come from within this space
and so I'll give you one of each.
So misconception that might come from outside.
The space is like it's BS. It doesn't work.
No, it's just not possible whereas, you know, manifestation
is not just spirituality but it's Combination of spirituality
science and strategy. So when we talk to people about
like in the manifestations base, about rewiring your brain,
that's not BS. There's like you're changing
your neurological systems by repeating positive affirmations,
or by doing the belief work. You are actually changing.
Not only the way that your brain works, but you can actually
recode your DNA that way through epigenetics.
And so that's on one side and then on the other side, for
example, the expression, thoughts become things again.
This is one of those things as kind of moss context.
As it's going around the internet, and yes, thoughts do
impact how you manifest? But they're not the only thing
because they're just one small piece of your subconscious
programming. And your subconscious
programming is also your beliefs traumas, identity, and so many
other layers. So if you're just focusing on
thoughts, what might happen is it can become disempowering
because any time you have a negative thought you're like, oh
no, it's going to manifest and for me as someone who
experiences a different mental illnesses, one of those is like
as a result of mine. I'll have intrusive thoughts.
If I thought, every time I had an interest with thought I know,
I'm like, actually gonna grab a policeman's gun, and I'm gonna
like, she's someone like, that's just not helpful to anyone.
So, when we say, thoughts become things, I think the idea behind
it is like, let's look at how a belief is formed.
And if we go down to the core of how beliefs are formed, as
through thoughts, thoughts, thinked, I don't know how to say
it, but I thought I thought that you think numerous times, right?
And you really believe that to bats how it allows into belief
and then when we have something that we're believing, so truly
then it becomes more than a belief.
It becomes part of your identity, right?
So what were really saying is like just watch the trajectory
of your thoughts. If it's something that you are
thinking of a repeated period of time, that's making you feel a
certain type of way, that's what we want to have an awareness,
but a negative thought in the day-to-day is certainly not
going to ruin your life. Yeah, II.
Think that's so interesting. And I really liked what you
touched on there. Because I think there's
definitely like a dialectic between Queen having negative
thoughts and them not necessarily like, becoming a
huge part of your life. And then there's that, having
those thoughts that then become beliefs, that then become part
of your identity. And I think that's something
that really holds true with mental health, a lot of
different challenges, whether it's with depression, or
self-esteem, or anxiety, come with believes that you are like,
not wrong, but you, you're struggling.
Like, that's a belief that you hold.
That's just part of your identity if it's like
self-esteem, maybe it's that you're not good enough.
Enough. I remember I was holding beliefs
that I wasn't like good enough that I wasn't deserving of Love.
That treatment wasn't going to work for me and I always go back
to this moment when I started residential treatment and when
one of my doctors asked me, he was like, do you want to be
here? Do you believe this is going to
work? And I was like, no, it's not
going to work. I've tried it before.
Like I meant to be depressed, just how I am.
And he was like okay that's great but that's not like you
can be here for 14 weeks for Eight weeks, however, long
enough things going to change. So I think it's going to shift
and up until that point, I really had been living by the
beliefs, and the identity that I was just a depressed person.
I was meant to be this way. This is what my life would
always look like, and it was only once I shifted that that I
did see the changes and in my lifestyle.
So I would love to kind of hear your perspective on how those
two things are connected manifestation, and mental
health. I think that we can't have a
conversation about manifestation without also having a
conversation of Mental Health. Especially when it affects so
many people. And I think that meant just
because you have mental illness, does not mean that you then
can't manifest or any type of illness for that matter.
But I think what we should be aware of is the way that it
impacts the way that we manifest it obviously.
And as I've someone who has also experienced depression, there
can be, it can go two ways in one that can kind of give you
hope and feel like you can change your situation, there's a
lot of change. And then another way, if maybe
If I say I'm here about it and then you're also hearing like
thoughts become things, you're thinking well, I'm screwed
because like the way that I feel about myself right now is not
conducive to light changing my reality.
And so what I would say is, you know, obviously I'm not a mental
health professional so so if you're listening to this, that's
just my my disclaimer. And say yeah, yeah.
Is that to start with small things and know that it's
possible for anyone to change their reality?
The possibilities of their you've been doing it all your
life up until this point, maybe not necessarily consciously but
you do have of the power and the ability to do that based on your
lived experience based on your traumas but some people is
certainly going to be. It may feel more challenging and
I don't want to diminish the way that you feel right now and say
that your struggles don't exist or that depression is just a
mindset block because it isn't but through things like learning
how your subconscious mind works and how these thoughts have been
informing your life and what you're actually sitting with
your identity. We can then do things like
Shadow work to peel back the layers and even things like
Therapy or working with a coach or working with whoever, even
working with your guys, endorse whoever to peel back the layers
and create an identity that meal feels more true for the person
who not only the person that you want to be, but who you truly
are underneath all those other things that build on top of it.
Yeah, I love that so much and I think there's something really
powerful but having a goal to work towards and you mentioned
kind of with the Friendship example writing down, what kinds
of friends you want to have how you feel in your and chips what
your interactions look like. I think that can be true for a
lot of mental health things as well.
We get so stuck in our reality and we have our blinders on to
what our experiences are like and can be really difficult to
imagine how your reality could be different.
So if you're really struggling, you're feeling depressed
constantly, there's not a lot of things to look forward to
spending time journaling and getting really clear on what you
want your life to look like, what belief systems are.
You living your life by? What are your daily activities
look like? How are your relationships
making you feel? How do you feel?
Cetera can be a goal to work towards and, and mental health
is is a really vague abstract thing.
It can be so difficult to navigate because it's not like
there's an immediate easy and goal to be pursuing.
But having some clarity there and being like, okay, I feel
I've made progress if I am feeling depressed, only three
out of seven days a week, instead of 7 out of 7 or
something like that, I think can be really powerful.
And I think that is another way that manifestation and mental
health can be / aligned, I also want to bring up the point that
there are stages. There are levels to this, right?
And if you're a position right now where you feel depressed,
you feel like the world is just trash and you just like are
trying to get out of it for most people.
They're not going to jump from feeling super depressed.
Her I can manifest the like I am on top of it and know that.
That's okay you can go from everything as trash to Thing is
okay, you can go from everything is okay to hey I'm starting to
see the good moments you can go from him, starting to the good
moment to mostly good moments actually some trash moments but
mostly good moments and it's okay to like move through the
levels rather than feeling like you need to go from 0 to 100
because you most people especially if you experience in
mental illness, that's not realistic and it's just going to
make you feel worse about yourself.
So rather than jumping from okay.
Like and by the way like especially when you are
experiencing depression for anxiety, may be slightly
different. But especially when you're
experiencing depression is like If not overwhelming yourself
with like radical change because then you're just going to stay
depressed and then feel worse about yourself and not changing
so quickly. So like small bite-sized
manageable things are going to make you feel slightly better.
It's actually better for the long run because it's going to
compound and eventually change the way that you feel in a much
more sustainable way because what we don't want to do is dip
into the danger of dangerously High highs, and dangerously low
lows and like swing between the pendulum of the to.
It's better to feel more neutral special if you're getting out an
intense state of depression, By my opinion, it's better to feel
more neutral than like feeling. Like if you're not in that high
high, you're failing. And so for me I used to have
this belief that all I wanted in my life.
I did a few things I wanted in my life after my mom passed away
and I'd experienced a really intense period of grief during
this time because not only had my mom passed away, but six
months after that, my grandmother passed away and a
year after that, my friend at school had passed away.
So, I'd seen around me was, like, death in grief, and
because I had previously been in the care system that meant that
my sister my brother and Why we became orphan because we didn't
have any family left of that point.
So all I wanted was to be normal and to be happy to be normal and
to be happy. And so, when later my life, I
began to realize I was experiencing depression.
I felt really bad about myself because I wasn't feeling happy.
And so what I don't want to do is for anyone listening to this.
Be like, well, if I'm not thinking positively, or if I'm
not being happy, then I'm not going to create a life that I
want. That's not true.
We all have moments. And for some people, those
moments may feel like they last longer, but Thing that always
helps me to feel really. Anchored is knowing that whether
I'm in like crazy out of a world amazing moment or I'm in the
like tragic, really sad moment is like this is a moment, this
is not forever, this is not a lifetime and while we can visit
the challenges, we can visit the difficult moments.
We don't, we don't live there. And so in terms of building
blocks, if you are in a challenging period right now,
just think about like what is the minimum viable thing that
you could do? Is it like writing one thing
that you're grateful about each day and Not just about like your
external experience or like one thing that you love about
yourself, or one thing that made you smile today, can you
tomorrow? Make that two things, you know
or can you meditate for five minutes and just finding small
things to make your way of living better?
And then you'll notice that you actually increase your capacity
to hold more. Yeah yeah.
And I think The more conversations I have in the in
the mental health, the wellness space, whatever.
It is the more books I read, the more podcasts I listened to the
bottom line is always seems to be consistency and it's those
small goals that you can be consistent with that.
Make the biggest difference and I struggle with what you talked
about is as well with setting these really big goals and then
of course you fall short because they're not attainable, they're
not possible to be consistent with and I had a therapist.
One time told me it was a symptom of anxiety to That this
really overwhelming crazy aspirations and struggle to meet
them. And then you get in that
headspace of being like, why am I not capable of meeting this
goal? I set one goal for myself and
yet I can't do it. And yet that goal is
unattainable, maybe it's not but you're struggling to get to that
point. Doing a smaller goals, it can be
kind of discouraging to think about your like okay, well I'm
literally going to just do deep breathing for 30 seconds, a day
like what anyone can do that, like why is that the goal I have
to set for myself. But if you can do that every
single day, over a long period of time, Time that consistency
is going to be so much more meaningful than meditating for
45 minutes once and then never doing it again.
And so I think that's really really powerful and I think you
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I would love to hear what some of the most common things people
want to manifest. Our, I think that kind of goes
in line with getting out of our like blinders head space in our
opening, Eyes to like what our lives can look like and getting
inspiration from from other people's goals and aspirations
money, purpose, love, I think are the top three and yeah I
think inside of purpose, you know that might look like also
business or Career Success or at least a deep sense of clarity in
those things as well. So I think for most people that
it's about feeling more at home in themselves and then these
other things are supporting the way that they want to feel.
I love that and I think it just speaks to how subjective all of
this is like what one person wants and what makes them feel
great. Might not make you feel great.
And so even creating the space to get clear on what your goals
are. Whether it's in relationship or
purpose or financially, whatever those are, you're not only
creating thoughts that eventually can turn into things
but you are really getting clear in what that goal is and
starting to to pursue it. I would love to kind of hear
About the, I guess where the Divide would be, obviously, just
like sitting and thinking about something doesn't necessarily
mean that it will come to fruition.
There's something really powerful about getting clear on
what your goal is, and wanting to call it into action because
it kind of gives you a place to be oriented to your putting more
Focus towards something than you would otherwise.
But are your things that you say to your clients, like, okay,
like what goals are we going to set or what different markers
you going to try to meet to make this a less abstract process?
Definitely I think there needs to be a declared degree of
clarity and certainty otherwise you don't know what you're
working towards and then also how are you going to measure
that you've actually made progress because we're actually
making more progress than we realize?
But if we're not setting, these kind of markers is difficult to
look back and see that. So I typically work with my
clients inside a 12-month Mastermind and in that every
single month we have an intention setting workshop.
And within those intention setting workshops we are
reflecting on the Month. And then we're intention setting
for the month ahead. And there's a degree of clarity
around that in that the goals that were saying, do have some
systems that up around them. But also people are not like
locked in by this is the only things I'm going to do because
all that I've written down or that you know life happens
things change and if they don't get everything done that they
said they were going to do is not like well that sucks like
you Stark and you're rubbish. It's just like okay let's look
at why this actually happened and what we're going to do
moving forward. So I for me, it's very important
to make the process of manifestation flexible because
everything is changing. All of the time.
We're changing all the time and life changing all the time,
external circuit starts the changing all the time.
So we can't expect our process to be.
Just like, oh, I'm going to manifest the thing, the same
way, every single time because we have seasons just as life as
seasons. This might not be accurate
whatsoever, but through this conversation manifestation
feels, I'm understanding it as spiritual intentional very like
insightful goal setting is that a complete misconception or we
would you say that's kind of an aligned understanding of what it
what it looks like. Yeah, definitely an alignment is
standing. I think, you know, whatever name
people want to give to it is the name that empowers them most and
if Station isn't quite resonating for you, but that's
okay, but it really is about the process of bringing your dreams
to life and and what tools resources and knowledge.
Are you going to use to do that to bring your extraordinary
Vision to life? I love that.
And I think that's really helpful for people to hear,
especially we talked about those two camps of the people that
are, like, on the outside versus on the inside.
And I think on the outside, like, the most common things
that I have heard, whether it's on social media, or with, with
friends, and family is it's like, well, like that's not
going to do anything. If you just sit and think about
something, Or you're just calling something into action,
but there's so much more to it than that.
It's changing, your thoughts, your beliefs, your identity.
It's making these goals, it seeing the progress you've made.
And I think this conversation Illustrated that very
beautifully and really brought a lot of clarity there that
there's so much Nuance that goes into this process.
Yeah. Totally, you know that I have
one final question which is are there things people that you
see? I mean Tick Tock, again, the
biggest forms of of information if you looks like where people
are saying things are manifesting, but they're just
like so off base and you're like, that's not what you're
doing, that's not what's happening.
I can't say that I've ever particularly come across.
That what I will say though is, like, we do need to look at the
lens of privilege that someone's coming from.
So, if someone saying like, yeah, this was really easy for
me to Manifest this. We also need to be aware of,
like, okay, what were the systems that allowed them to
manifest it so easily. So if you are beating yourself
up around things and then you're seeing someone who's coming
from, you know, maybe are privileged Able Body background.
Then of course there may be Things that make it easier for
them, but just because it's easier for them does not mean
that it's not possible for you to.
And so when I talk about things like spiritual bypassing and
conversations around race and manifestation as well, it's like
these things exist. And it, you know, we can't just
say like, oh well, you know, it's not spiritual to talk about
these harder issues because it's absolutely spiritual to look at
what we are experiencing as Souls on this planet right now
in this moment, right? We can't just say, like it's not
spiritual too. About and just bypass very real
experiences for people or kind of diminish.
Someone struggles, right? That's not fair and it's not
right? But just because we have
struggles and challenges does not mean that it's not also
possible for us. And so I, you know, I do have
privileges within my own life, despite the fact that I did grow
up in care, and I had a challenging upbringing, I'm very
lucky now to like live somewhere.
That's really beautiful and to have enough money to do the
things I want to do in life was not always.
Ways that way for me. And if I'd have just looked at
the situation that I had in the cards hand of cards cards for
pants, the hand I was dealt the hand, I was dealt, it would have
been very easy for me to say, well like this is it and things
are going to be a struggle. Things are going to be more
challenging, but I acknowledge that things.
Some things were potentially going to be more challenging for
me and other people. And I also a manifesting, my
reality, it's not an either or situation, I think that's huge
and I think that's a big nuanced.
A lot of the time gets lost and this again.
It's a buzzword, it's becoming a catch-all for many different
forms of goal, setting and goal pursuing, and, and reaching your
dreams, and all of these things, and we lose the insight into the
process and how people got to that end goal, and we're all at
those different starting points. And so, I think that is
something that's really, really important to remember and to
remind yourself especially when you're viewing other people's
Journeys, in any aspect of life, you mentioned in that the
intersection of race and manifestation I would love to
hear your thoughts on that. I know I said last question but
now my interest has been piqued. How do you?
How do you see those two intersecting?
So, as I mentioned earlier that so much of our manifestation
prisons about 95% of the process is informed by our subconscious
programming. And part of the subconscious
programming is maybe some individual thoughts that we have
but also Collective thoughts that we have.
So when you have things like internalized, oppression at
play, you can't just say to a person of color or a black
person like that. Yeah, I don't think that's like
a real privilege. Well, I think that's just a
mindset blog you have when it's actually societies block that
has been enforced upon you and so to undo those layers, not
only of internalized, oppression, but also
generational trauma and what your ancestors are gone through
the ancestral trauma. That is like deep powerful work.
And sometimes, you know, you can't just throw like, oh, I'm
just going to say this thing. One time, I'm just going to do
this practice to do animation every day and it's all gonna go.
Yeah because like I believe like affirmations there are hugely
powerful. Powerful tool, but we also need
to be making sure that we are going to the layers below just
saying something, on the surface level, which is why I love
things like hypnosis because that really gets to the root of
much deeper issues. And so, yeah, inside of the race
in manifestation piece. I know a lot of people will say,
well, oh, manifestation is only for privileged white people and
that simply isn't true, but because that maybe typically,
the people that we're seeing online than we feel, like if you
don't see someone who looks like you, you wonder if the space is
for you, but this space, For everyone.
And if you don't see someone who looks like, you know that you
are welcome always. And that just because you don't
see someone who looks like you doesn't mean it isn't possible
for you even though there may be some additional challenges that
you face. Yeah.
And I think that goes back to kind of helping how you frame it
mentally that works for you, like, for me thinking of it as
goal-setting, I'm like every single person ever has set a
goal like it has achieved a goal that they've set whether it's to
get out of bed in the morning, or to go to School today and
that can make it feel more accessible and reachable and
possible intangible. And so I think the like
education and curiosity and framing internally can also be
be helpful with that, but I think that's something that's
very true. And I think a lot of the ways in
which it's being portrayed on social media right now adds to
that narrative as well. I think this conversation is
going to be so helpful for so many people and just provide so
much insight and Clarity on on goal setting and and how our
thoughts and emotions and beliefs can impact Realities,
which is something that's hugely relevant to mental health.
If people want to continue to consume your content work with
you Etc, where can they find you?
So on Instagram and Tick Tock, I am at FES Delta underscore.
I have a podcast, the Manifest edit podcast and I also have a
free training on the power of subconscious manifestation where
I'm breaking down house of conscious manifestation actually
works and kind of the different roles that your conscious and
subconscious mind play Within that that will really Lee, add
some color to the way that you manifest and help that whole
process. Be so much more streamlined,
which you can check out by heading to a fierce ulta.com
4/3, be awesome. Well, all of that will be in
today's show notes. And in social media, when I
share this episode, but thank you again, for coming on.
She persisted and thank you for having me.
Of course, to recap, this week's episode Fe and I drove deep into
her journey of overcoming. Childhood trauma of being
orphaned, we talked about the value of the coach client.
Chip. We talked about exactly what
manifestation is. We went deep here and talked
about all the different misconceptions and buzzwords.
You've seen floating around the internet, like angel numbers
signs overnight, manifesting, all of that kind of stuff.
We talked about the importance of subconscious programming.
How mental health, and manifestation, interact and how
race relates to manifesting. And so much more.
If you enjoyed this week's episode, please be sure to leave
a review on Apple podcast and Spotify make sure that you are
subscribed so that you don't miss any upcoming episodes.
Thus Odes. And if you share on social
media, tag me at a cheaper assisted podcast.
And I will make sure to repost and give you a little shout out.
So with that, thank you for listening and I'll see you next
week.