1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,600
Welcome to, she persisted, I'm 
your host CD son. 

2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:05,100
Every Friday. 
I post interviews about mental 

3
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:08,000
health, dialectical behavioral 
therapy and Teenage life. 

4
00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,000
These episodes break down my 
mental health Journey. 

5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,200
Teach skills to help you cope 
with life and showcase 

6
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,200
testimonials from individuals, 
including teens, just like you. 

7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,000
Whether you've struggled 
yourself or just want to improve

8
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,800
your mental Fitness. 
This podcast is your inspiration

9
00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:23,800
to live a life. 
You love and keep persisting 

10
00:00:25,100 --> 00:00:31,000
this week on she persisted 
People don't always want answers

11
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,100
or problem solve, they want 
someone to listen at the eyes 

12
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:39,000
and validate and I think we all 
can do that qualified or not. 

13
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,800
I not only asked for help and I 
accepted that I need help. 

14
00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,600
But I trust you to other people.
Enough to help me this week's 

15
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,700
DBT skills, radical acceptance 
to start this many skills 

16
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:50,500
education we have to talk about 
pain. 

17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,000
Pain is our body's natural way 
to tell us that something is 

18
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,200
wrong whether that's emotionally
or physically. 

19
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,600
Will pain is inevitable for 
everyone. 

20
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,100
Suffering is not and suffering 
comes as a result of remaining 

21
00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,700
miserable and not accepting our 
current reality. 

22
00:01:03,700 --> 00:01:06,500
This is where radical acceptance
comes in, this means that you're

23
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:10,700
100% with every ounce of your 
being accepting your life, your 

24
00:01:10,700 --> 00:01:15,800
reality, your emotions as they 
come, this is one of the hardest

25
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:20,100
DBT, skills out there to accept 
things that you dislike you 

26
00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:22,500
disagree with, and you 
fundamentally wish were 

27
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:26,800
different is a very difficult 
thing to do, and it has profound

28
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,900
results. 
Really accepting that your 

29
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:32,900
current reality In This Moment 
is feeling depressed or anxious 

30
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,000
or stressed or overwhelmed 
allows you to stop being in that

31
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,500
headspace of denial. 
That that's not what's actually 

32
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,800
going on and instead making 
measurable changes to improve 

33
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,000
your head space. 
So this week, when you're faced 

34
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,800
with something less than 
desirable, I challenge you to 

35
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:49,900
accept that you're in this 
situation, say to yourself. 

36
00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,900
This is my reality. 
I don't agree with it. 

37
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,300
I don't think it's okay. 
But this is what my reality is 

38
00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:59,500
and I can't change it. 
Sit with those emotions, sit 

39
00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:02,800
with the discomfort that arises 
and allow that suffering to 

40
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,400
slowly start to decrease. 
Hello everyone, and welcome back

41
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,400
to another episode of she 
persisted. 

42
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:11,700
I'm so excited for you to listen
to this week's episode. 

43
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,300
I'm changing some things up here
in the she persisted world and 

44
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:18,400
really updating and improving my
show layout. 

45
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:21,200
So I have a couple new features 
to these she persisted show I 

46
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,000
had did a little bit different 
of an intro this week. 

47
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:27,700
Really going to be sticking to 
the audio B that you get. 

48
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:31,600
Here at the beginning of the 
episode, you got a tidbit of DBT

49
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,100
education, right at the 
beginning that you can implement

50
00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:36,700
this week. 
And at the end of this intro, 

51
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,400
I'm going to do some rapid fire 
Q&A questions from listeners. 

52
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,800
This week is actually my spring 
break last week. 

53
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,600
We were out of town, but this 
week I'm off from school. 

54
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:49,000
And so, I have just been diving 
into work and the podcast. 

55
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:52,000
I listened into the most amazing
Clubhouse, this week, all about 

56
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,000
podcasting, and improving the 
quality of your show, and 

57
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,700
really, just putting out, 
amazing high-quality content. 

58
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,700
Aunt. 
I had a really amazing coaching 

59
00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:03,100
call with a fellow podcaster and
I am excited to make some 

60
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:07,000
changes in that room as well to 
continue to improve the quality 

61
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,500
of the show and I've been doing 
tons of calls and interviews 

62
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:14,200
with upcoming, gas potential 
upcoming guests, just all things

63
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,100
to really bring you guys the 
best content that I possibly 

64
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:19,300
can. 
And you can get the most out of 

65
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:23,000
these podcast episodes. 
So, jumping into these qas 

66
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,400
because for this first week, I 
want to go into a little bit 

67
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,900
more detail and really give 
these Amazing question, some 

68
00:03:28,900 --> 00:03:30,900
attention. 
So if you want to have your 

69
00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:33,600
question answered in next week's
episode, you can either 

70
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,500
anonymously submitted on my 
website. 

71
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,300
You can shoot me an email at 
inquiries it she persisted 

72
00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:42,300
podcast.com or you can DM me on 
Instagram question 1. 

73
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,500
How did you survive high school 
while navigating depression and 

74
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:48,900
anxiety at the same time? 
The short answer was that for a 

75
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,500
point in time I did not navigate
High School. 

76
00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:54,900
I did not do the second semester
of freshman year because I was 

77
00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,500
on a medical leave while I was 
getting intensive treatment. 

78
00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,100
And that was something that I 
never thought that my mental 

79
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,200
health would get to. 
I don't think my family saw that

80
00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,800
my teachers didn't see that, but
when you're really, really 

81
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:09,100
struggling and your mental 
health is consuming your life 

82
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,400
continuing to be an active 
engaged. 

83
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,000
Successful student. 
At some point isn't possible. 

84
00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,800
Without that, really strong 
mental Foundation, your ability 

85
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,500
to cope your ability to be 
persistent and have grit without

86
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,100
that. 
You're not able to put yourself 

87
00:04:24,100 --> 00:04:26,500
into all these different 
activities that we as teams 

88
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,300
engage in. 
So, What I had to create that 

89
00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:32,300
Foundation, from scratch for 
myself, learn the coping skills 

90
00:04:32,300 --> 00:04:34,900
that allowed me to get through 
the day, rewire the belief 

91
00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:38,700
systems that created so that I 
could be confident and happy and

92
00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:41,900
mentally healthy, create really 
strong relationships that 

93
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:45,300
uplifted, me and made me feel 
safe, and seen and heard and 

94
00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:48,800
valued. 
And after that, I was able to 

95
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,900
really recreate my life in a way
where when I felt moments of 

96
00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:56,100
depression, or anxiety or 
stress, whatever it was that 

97
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,600
came up. 
I could still Ate my life with 

98
00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:02,500
school and work and the podcast.
So, now when I'm having a down 

99
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:05,000
day, which I would say, is more 
common than me feeling anxiety. 

100
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,800
When I'm having an off day, I'm 
feeling super unmotivated and 

101
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,700
sluggish and feeling. 
Those feelings of depression, I 

102
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:14,100
really hold on to the mindset 
that it is in permanent. 

103
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:17,200
I know that when I wake up the 
next day, it's going to be a 

104
00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,900
fresh start and I'm not 
necessarily going to be feeling 

105
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:23,600
the same feelings. 
I do my best to do the opposite 

106
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,700
of what I'm doing, whether 
that's to get up and go outside 

107
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:29,900
or do something. 
Do work be productive, sometimes

108
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:32,800
that's not always possible when 
I'm not really feeling up to all

109
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,300
those things I do. 
The next best thing rather than 

110
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:38,800
staying in bed and doing 
nothing, which is watching a TV 

111
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,900
show or consuming some kind of 
content that improves my mood. 

112
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,900
Try to make myself feel, happy 
trying to do something and 

113
00:05:44,900 --> 00:05:48,100
distract myself from these other
feelings that are really putting

114
00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:50,900
a damper on the day. 
I might watch the office for a 

115
00:05:50,900 --> 00:05:53,900
while, maybe I'll listen to a 
podcast, whatever it is that 

116
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,400
really does bring me joy. 
So that's my in the moment 

117
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:58,900
approach to feeling down. 
Down or depressed and really 

118
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,800
just emphasizing. 
That this is today, tomorrow is 

119
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,600
going to be different. 
I'm going to have a fresh start,

120
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,900
even if I still feel somewhat 
depressed. 

121
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,600
It's not going to be the same 
amount of depressed and same 

122
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,300
emotions as today. 
And then long-term I try and 

123
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:14,600
create really healthy routines 
that improve my mental health. 

124
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,200
So I try and prioritize my 
sleep. 

125
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,500
I try and get up at this similar
times every day. 

126
00:06:19,508 --> 00:06:22,100
I do my best to maintain my 
physical health. 

127
00:06:22,100 --> 00:06:25,800
I do things that make me happy 
and make me feel productive and 

128
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,600
motivated and inspired and 
passionate. 

129
00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,300
Not because all of those things,
increase my mood. 

130
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,800
So having a life that's filled 
with things that increase my 

131
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,000
mood on a regular basis and 
doing my best to cope with the 

132
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,700
impermanence of negative 
emotions when they do arise. 

133
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,700
Next question is, what's your 
thoughts on meditation? 

134
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:47,300
I really want to be good at 
meditation, like that is a goal.

135
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:50,100
I have for myself, I want to be 
like a Buddha at some point, not

136
00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:52,200
actually. 
But I want to be able to like 

137
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:55,100
meditate in the morning and 
meditate at night, be super in 

138
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:57,200
touch with my thoughts. 
I think that is a really amazing

139
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,200
skill that So many people have 
and I'm not there yet. 

140
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:03,400
I have found sleep meditation to
be very helpful listening to 

141
00:07:03,400 --> 00:07:06,600
meditation or doing a guided 
meditation myself before bed. 

142
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,900
That is something really 
effective that I've been able to

143
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:12,600
implement in a link my episode 
on sleep meditation down below. 

144
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:15,700
I also really like to do a 
meditation sometimes in the 

145
00:07:15,707 --> 00:07:19,500
morning to set the tone for the 
day and set my intentions, as 

146
00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:21,700
long as I'm out of bed, I find 
that to be effective. 

147
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:23,600
Sometimes I'll fall back asleep 
though. 

148
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,700
So just making sure to switch up
my environment if I'm doing a 

149
00:07:26,700 --> 00:07:29,300
morning meditation. 
But I wish I was better at 

150
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:31,300
meditation. 
I wish I could Implement that 

151
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:34,300
more and it's a skill. 
I'm still working on. 

152
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:36,400
Next question. 
I got was how can you make sure 

153
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:40,300
to practice DBT skills daily? 
This is a hard one. 

154
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,300
DBT is such a Content Field 
Therapy that it's almost like 

155
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,400
you're taking a class to learn 
all these different skills and 

156
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:50,900
remembering them is in itself, 
somewhat of a challenge. 

157
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:54,800
So one of the ways that I have 
found most effective to make 

158
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,600
sure I'm practicing my DBT 
skills is to Be reminded of the 

159
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:01,500
skills daily and one way to do 
this is with a diary card. 

160
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,900
If you're into BT, you know, 
what a diary card is in your 

161
00:08:03,907 --> 00:08:07,400
feeling about, basically tracks,
your mood, and your urges, your 

162
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,900
behavior is all of that 
throughout the day, but you're 

163
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:13,300
also tracking your skills usage.
So, once a day you're looking at

164
00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:17,100
a comprehensive list of all the 
DBT skills so you can reflect on

165
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:20,400
what your unintentionally 
practicing as far as skills and 

166
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,100
you're also able to kind of 
remind yourself. 

167
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,000
Hey, I forgot about that skill, 
I'm going to use that tonight. 

168
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,200
We're actually that would be a 
great thing to do in this 

169
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,600
conversation. 
Later, let me use that skill. 

170
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,600
So even if you're not using a 
diary card or that's not 

171
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,400
something you need in your life 
right now, just having like a 

172
00:08:35,408 --> 00:08:39,100
sticky note or a printout of DBT
scales, next to your bed 

173
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,600
somewhere where you can glance 
at it and be reminded I would 

174
00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,799
say is my best tip for making 
sure. 

175
00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:47,400
You're practicing skills daily. 
Next question is, what is your 

176
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,500
favorite aspect of your morning 
routine? 

177
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,800
This is a hard one because I 
feel like I I know I'm not a 

178
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,700
morning person and I feel like 
my morning routine has lots of 

179
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:59,300
room for growth and It's not the
most practical, because we're 

180
00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,200
still in lockdown. 
I'm not going to school yet 

181
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,000
though. 
Next week, I've, this might be 

182
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,600
different, so it's not, it's 
more. 

183
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,900
Kind of like, I have a long 
morning and I have classes, and 

184
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:12,600
I'm not forced to get up and get
ready to go. 

185
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:16,100
Somewhere that being said, I 
have made one significant change

186
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,200
in my morning routine this week,
which I found to be really 

187
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,200
effective and it might be my new
favorite part, which is that I 

188
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,700
get up the first time I wake up 
in the morning. 

189
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:28,300
And so I have in the past 
struggled with weight, Up really

190
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:30,700
early in the morning and not 
being able to go back to sleep, 

191
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,700
but after I've gotten my sleep 
more regulated, I'm someone that

192
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:37,300
has more problem with pushing 
snooze over and over again, then

193
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,500
waking up early and not being 
able to get enough sleep. 

194
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,900
So when I wake up for that first
time, which normally is like, 

195
00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:47,200
just around 7 a.m., I will get 
up because I know that if I push

196
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:51,000
news or I go back to sleep, I'm 
not able to wake up and be as 

197
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,700
alert and aware as I am at that 
initial time. 

198
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:57,700
So I ended up like snoozing 
until like 11:00 a.m. which is 

199
00:09:57,700 --> 00:10:01,500
is so bad and the other mindset 
change that I've done about 

200
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,500
waking up that early this week 
is that. 

201
00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,800
I'm telling myself that, I know 
it's going to be hard. 

202
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,000
I know that getting up in the 
morning is going to be difficult

203
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,300
and terrible. 
And if I practice it and 

204
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:15,000
continue to maintain this habit 
for a couple of weeks, it will 

205
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,200
get easier. 
And for whatever reason I've 

206
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,200
never approached getting up in 
the morning with that mindset if

207
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,200
I was just like, I should be 
able to get up early, other 

208
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,700
people and get up early. 
Why is it so hard for me to do 

209
00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:27,600
this and yet that validation 
piece of being like this? 

210
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,700
Going to be hard and it's going 
to get better. 

211
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:32,900
Has been really, really 
effective for me in having a 

212
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,700
morning routine and being 
willing to get up. 

213
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,200
So I would say that's my 
favorite aspect of my morning 

214
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,700
routine is getting up that first
time when my body tells me that 

215
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,400
I'm ready to get up and then 
having that time in the morning 

216
00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:47,200
to kind of relax and it's quiet 
and nice out and it doesn't feel

217
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:49,700
like I'm rushing to a first 
class or a meeting or whatever 

218
00:10:49,700 --> 00:10:51,600
it is. 
So those are all the questions 

219
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,100
that I'm going to answer for 
this week. 

220
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,500
If you have a question, you want
me to answer next week? 

221
00:10:55,500 --> 00:10:57,600
Be sure to DM it to me, email or
submit on my way. 

222
00:10:57,700 --> 00:11:00,000
Website. 
And I will answer it and I'll 

223
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
also answer some more of these 
on Instagram. 

224
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,900
So if you're not already 
following me at at she persisted

225
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:08,200
podcast, if you asked a question
that didn't get answered, I will

226
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,500
be answering it on Instagram as 
this episode goes up. 

227
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,100
This week's episode is sponsored
by teen counseling. 

228
00:11:14,700 --> 00:11:17,500
I cannot tell you guys. 
How many DM's texts emails? 

229
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,800
I get from teens parents, even 
friends asking, how can I find a

230
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,000
therapist? 
How can I enroll in therapy? 

231
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:24,700
How can I find a therapist for 
my teen? 

232
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:26,800
How do I tell my parents? 
I want to go to therapy. 

233
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,200
That's why I'm English teen 
counseling teen counseling is an

234
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:33,500
online Therapy Program with over
14,000 licensed therapist in 

235
00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,400
their Network. 
They offer support on things 

236
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,200
like depression, anxiety, 
relationships, trauma, and more,

237
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:43,400
and it's all targeted at teens. 
They offer, text talk and video 

238
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,000
counseling. 
So no matter what level of 

239
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,500
support you're looking for, they
got you, you're going to go to 

240
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,700
teen counseling.com, she 
persisted, you'll fill out a 

241
00:11:50,708 --> 00:11:52,800
quick survey about what your 
goals are for therapy. 

242
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:54,700
Whether that's improving your 
mental health, during the 

243
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:57,200
pandemic, working on your 
relationship with your parents. 

244
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,200
Self-esteem, whatever it is. 
They'll match you with therapist

245
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,400
that fits your needs. 
You'll enter your information 

246
00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:05,100
and your parents information. 
Your parents will get a super 

247
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:07,900
discreet email saying your 
child's interested in working 

248
00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:11,100
with a licensed therapist at 
teen counseling.com. 

249
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:13,500
They had to the website learn a 
little bit more about the 

250
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,900
program and a preview to work 
with a therapist. 

251
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:18,800
And from there you can meet that
therapist on a frequency that 

252
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,100
works for you. 
This is a great way to dip your 

253
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:24,400
toe, into therapy world and get 
support when you need it without

254
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,600
having to go into an office, 
meet with a therapist meet with 

255
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:30,200
The Stranger and go through all 
of that for the first time. 

256
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,000
So you can go to teen 
counseling.com, she persisted 

257
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,500
again. 
That's teen counseling.com says 

258
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,300
she persisted to get started 
today. 

259
00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,600
So, without further Ado, this 
week's guest is a curried 

260
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,100
Aronofsky. 
He's a 27 year old former 

261
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:47,700
College Dropout, turned medical 
student, and a mental health 

262
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:51,300
Advocate, you might recognize 
him from social media at at MD 

263
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,600
motivator, and for his 
inspirational Tick-Tock and 

264
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,500
Instagram posts. 
If you love what you hear in 

265
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,700
this episode, you can follow him
on Instagram and Tick-Tock at at

266
00:12:58,700 --> 00:13:02,400
MD motivator check out his 
YouTube MD motivator. 

267
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,600
And finally check out his 
company and mental health 

268
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:08,100
movement.com, that's mental 
health and the mtv.com. 

269
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,500
All of his links will be in 
today. 

270
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,500
Description. 
Be sure to tag them as well if 

271
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,600
you listen to the episode. 
Thank you so much for coming on 

272
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,300
the show and for joining me 
today. 

273
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,200
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm super excited for this, of 

274
00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,300
course. 
So can you tell me a little bit 

275
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,100
about yourself and your journey 
and what brought you to your 

276
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:26,500
work in mental health, advocacy,
sure, I'll try to keep this 

277
00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,700
really short and to the point, 
my name is Zachary Aronofsky. 

278
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,100
I'm originally from Canada. 
My now, live in Sydney, 

279
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,500
Australia. 
So my story, I guess I can 

280
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:35,800
start. 
When I was in high school. 

281
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,200
Straight-A, student entered 
College flopped, I failed out of

282
00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:41,700
college. 
Go to point 5 9 g p AI 9 FS on 

283
00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:44,100
my transcript. 
I remember calling my Dean and 

284
00:13:44,100 --> 00:13:46,700
my Dean saying Zachary College 
isn't right for you. 

285
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,200
Not even like can I get 
reinstated? 

286
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,200
And I remember my parents had no
idea at the time. 

287
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,900
So, I went down to the dinner 
table at day, shared it. 

288
00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:55,000
My mom stormed away. 
My dad said, move out. 

289
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,000
So it was a really like ultimate
low my life from like a 

290
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:01,600
relationship standpoint from an 
identity standpoint of who I was

291
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:04,600
in terms of I guess like this 
perfect student or a 

292
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,800
well-rounded person is like 
filled out a college, maybe 

293
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,300
younger brother, stop looking up
to me. 

294
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:12,100
So then over the next Year I did
was actually over the next 56 

295
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,300
years. 
I did whatever I could 

296
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:18,000
essentially to prove people in 
my life wrong the wrong way. 

297
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,700
I guess to approach getting 
motivated or doing the things 

298
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:22,600
you want to do. 
But obviously, it got me to the 

299
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,800
point where I was a year out 
from starting medical school as 

300
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,100
a client and I'm like, I kind of
have a story here of being like 

301
00:14:29,100 --> 00:14:31,000
a former College Dropout in my 
transcript. 

302
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,700
So on social media one day I 
just put up my transcripts, my 

303
00:14:34,700 --> 00:14:38,500
.59 GPA, just put it out kind of
shared my story and I was blown 

304
00:14:38,500 --> 00:14:42,100
away, I'll never forget. 
This kid from Vermont random guy

305
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,800
from Vermont message me is one. 
One message you just expose 

306
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:48,400
vulnerable and real and just 
like you sharing. 

307
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,700
I was like, it's social media to
be used for good. 

308
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:53,500
I was blown away because from my
understanding of social media in

309
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,400
the past is that it was these 
filtered photos and filtered 

310
00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,300
stories in this highlight reel, 
right? 

311
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,600
So the fact that I could see 
this, I was okay. 

312
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,800
Maybe there's something there. 
So over the next four months, 

313
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,300
every single night, I would host
Instagram live with either a 

314
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:09,500
medical student resident, or 
doctor, from around the world. 

315
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:12,000
World and through that, I came 
to understand that there was 

316
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,900
this mentor to mentee Continuum 
of. 

317
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,300
I guess people want to exchange 
knowledge and people that I 

318
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,300
looked up and inspired to become
Sadie. 

319
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,500
They were much more willing to 
be vulnerable and share their 

320
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:26,800
obstacles and adversities and 
setbacks which the mentee like 

321
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,300
myself or people before me got 
really inspired by. 

322
00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,600
So through that, I created a 
formula, not sure if you read 

323
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,100
it. 
So the formulas called 

324
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:36,400
vulnerability equals 
relatability equals empowerment.

325
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:39,400
So, that formula that I use, 
when I spoke about the academics

326
00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,800
is What I use when I speak about
mental health, but backwards for

327
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,800
a second. 
So that's that company reached 

328
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,400
out to me and they said, Zach, 
how you travel North America and

329
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,300
speak about being a former 
College Dropout to inspire 

330
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:51,200
students. 
I was like, that's amazing. 

331
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,400
So I did that for about five 
months before, moving to 

332
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,400
Australia, when I moved to 
Australia that was January of 

333
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,500
2020. 
So I started medical school here

334
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,600
at the University of Sydney, 
like five minutes away from 

335
00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:02,900
where I live right now and then 
covid happened. 

336
00:16:02,900 --> 00:16:06,700
I went through a six-year 
relationship breakup, which I 

337
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,800
didn't know at the time that 
that was I guess my source of 

338
00:16:08,808 --> 00:16:12,800
happiness and Who I was medical 
school is challenging, I had ACL

339
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,100
knee surgery so my outlet which 
was like sports and working out.

340
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,700
I lost that and all these things
and I was isolated I couldn't go

341
00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:22,300
back home because it covid. 
So all these things came in on 

342
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:25,200
me till like a Breaking Point 
and that was like May or June of

343
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:29,800
2020 and I went I was like, okay
I can't be the only one feeling 

344
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,100
this way. 
I was like crying myself to 

345
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,400
sleep wasn't getting sleep. 
I was binge eating. 

346
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:35,000
I wasn't being productive. 
I wasn't studying. 

347
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,900
I just wasn't myself and I was 
okay. 

348
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:40,700
I have to do something about 
this so I Counseling Services 

349
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,000
here at the University of 
Sydney, which is free and threw 

350
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,500
that one of the things they we 
went over and we talked about 

351
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:50,000
was the fact that I am a huge 
over-thinker and I never told my

352
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,700
thoughts but they said that 
journal your thoughts. 

353
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:56,600
So I was like, okay I bought a 
journal, not this one, this is a

354
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,200
beside me and I voted out one 
night. 

355
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,600
I'm like you know what, why not 
Journal my thoughts on social 

356
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,200
media like journaling my 
transcripts on Instagram. 

357
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:07,500
So I did that on Tick-Tock and 
then it just snowballed, I 

358
00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:11,099
became best friends with a guy. 
I have never met a need of in 

359
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:12,500
the states. 
Is named Jake Goodman. 

360
00:17:12,500 --> 00:17:15,099
Who we now co-founded a company 
called the mental health 

361
00:17:15,099 --> 00:17:17,700
movement, which is a clothing 
line to start the conversation. 

362
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:20,700
We started a podcast, we have 
student scholarships for mental 

363
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,300
health. 
We give back globally to 

364
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:26,599
nonprofits, monthly and been 
very fortunate to have connected

365
00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:29,600
with so many brilliant. 
Amazing people that inspire me 

366
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,900
and yeah, it just been really 
fast-paced last eight months. 

367
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:36,300
That's that's amazing. 
And it's so cool. 

368
00:17:36,300 --> 00:17:38,900
How much of a transformation you
were able to have and how many 

369
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:42,200
people you are? 
But impact within covid, which 

370
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,700
was a huge mental health, low 
for so many people, so many 

371
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:48,100
people are struggling and 
looking for that reassurance, 

372
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,100
that what they were going 
through was, okay, and normal. 

373
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:51,900
And so I think that's just 
amazing. 

374
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:56,200
So really diving into this 
overthinking anxiety that I have

375
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,500
seen so much of your content 
about that, that I felt would be

376
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,100
so helpful to share with 
listeners. 

377
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:03,700
So, can you kind of talk to me a
little bit about your experience

378
00:18:03,700 --> 00:18:06,500
with anxiety, and then we can 
segue into your advice on that. 

379
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,800
Yeah. 
So I think my anxiety to 

380
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,900
overthinking it. 
Go hand-in-hand about thinking 

381
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:14,000
about always what's the worst 
case scenario and never actually

382
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,900
getting anything tangible down 
on paper. 

383
00:18:15,900 --> 00:18:18,800
So I thought once I saw when I 
started like, I guess, writing 

384
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,000
my thoughts down and seeing it 
as this, I guess, worst-case 

385
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,600
scenario and recognizing, okay, 
it's not that bad and it was 

386
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,400
there. 
It was like, okay, this is 1 2 

387
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,400
3. 
These are the only three 

388
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:31,500
thoughts that have but it goes 
around 100 times in my head. 

389
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:33,600
So not 300 thoughts. 
They're just great and then I 

390
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,300
can take tangible actions 
towards them once. 

391
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:39,200
I know the three things the 
worst-case scenario. 

392
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,900
And then okay, that's the worst 
case I'll be. 

393
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:45,100
Okay, that's visible is super 
helpful to me with anxiety and I

394
00:18:45,108 --> 00:18:48,700
think more so about recognizing 
that when I started talking to 

395
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,400
people that I've never talked to
my life about, I struggle with 

396
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,200
certain things, or just the word
struggle, I never use that 

397
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,200
because it's week and I started 
saying I struggle, I started to 

398
00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,400
recognize that I really wasn't 
alone like I'm social media. 

399
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,200
I know there's social proof that
I'm not alone, but like my real 

400
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,200
life, like my friends were 
Medical School, my friends back 

401
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,100
home. 
Opening up more to my family 

402
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,500
build, a deeper relationship 
with Them through that with my 

403
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,400
parents over the last year. 
So I think finding an outlet 

404
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,200
that works for you. 
For me personally, it's 

405
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:19,200
journaling and having the 
confidence to know that there's 

406
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:22,600
some form of support system for 
you, whether its family friend, 

407
00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,400
someone you trust, or 
professional support to have 

408
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,400
that outlet to go to to know 
you're not alone. 

409
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,600
So with your journaling getting 
specific, are you the kind of 

410
00:19:31,608 --> 00:19:34,500
person who can just write down 
and like everything goes in the 

411
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,100
page? 
Do you like prompts do you like 

412
00:19:37,300 --> 00:19:39,400
writing down? 
Like gratitude, what works for 

413
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:40,500
Yeah. 
Yeah. 

414
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,900
Music music, I'm listening to 
music that I really like like 

415
00:19:43,900 --> 00:19:47,100
I'm just like not connected to 
my phone actually. 

416
00:19:47,100 --> 00:19:50,100
So I said a journal or notebook.
I don't journal on my phone or 

417
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:51,500
my laptop because I'll get 
distracted. 

418
00:19:51,500 --> 00:19:56,500
And I just my mind, will wander,
not be present. 

419
00:19:56,500 --> 00:19:59,700
So I find what I'm doing that. 
I like to go out and nature if 

420
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,500
I'm able to like go to the beach
or go or like a forest or hike 

421
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,000
and write it out there because 
they're just mental Clarity to 

422
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,700
allow myself to just think about
him, but I guess I'm Very 

423
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,300
deliberate what I write. 
So I so if I said there was 

424
00:20:12,300 --> 00:20:15,100
three things that all right, the
worst case scenario for all 

425
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:16,200
three and then. 
All right. 

426
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,100
What are two steps I can take 
today? 

427
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,600
What are two steps I can take 
for each of those things and 

428
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,700
just have find that getting the 
ball rolling and knowing them. 

429
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:29,300
The worst case scenario it stops
a lot of what was nice you 

430
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,400
personally. 
Hmm. 

431
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:31,100
Yeah. 
No. 

432
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:32,600
I think that makes a lot of 
sense. 

433
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,900
What is your advice for 
supporting someone? 

434
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,000
That is going through anxiety. 
I think, starting conversations 

435
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,200
about mental health and going 
through my Own Journey. 

436
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,900
That was something my parents 
and I struggled with my peers my

437
00:20:42,900 --> 00:20:45,400
teachers, they were like, okay, 
like we see you're struggling. 

438
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,100
We see something's going on 
here, but a lot of us are 

439
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,400
familiar with how to support 
someone that struggling with 

440
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,300
that if we haven't experienced 
our self. 

441
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:54,500
And so, I was wondering what 
your tips were for supporting a 

442
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,000
friend. 
Family member someone in your 

443
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,700
community, that is actively 
struggling with anxiety. 

444
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:03,200
Yeah, I think anxiety or just 
mental health, or pretty much 

445
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,100
anything. 
A lot of times I was talking to 

446
00:21:05,108 --> 00:21:09,700
one of my friends. 
People don't always want answers

447
00:21:09,700 --> 00:21:13,000
or problem solve. 
They want someone to listen 

448
00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,300
after eyes and validate and I 
think we all can do that 

449
00:21:16,300 --> 00:21:18,700
qualified or not. 
So I think that's a really 

450
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,200
important feature is not like 
for me personally, I'm all 

451
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,700
about. 
Okay, it's the problem. 

452
00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,100
Here's the quick fix I already 
told you. 

453
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:26,400
Like that's kind of how I do my 
we're thinking, but sometimes 

454
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,900
sitting with the problem and 
recognizing there is no quick 

455
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:33,100
fix, there's Beauty in that. 
So I think if you're listening 

456
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:36,400
to you, if you want to connect 
further asking questions, It's 

457
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:38,700
using diffusers that helps me a 
lot as well. 

458
00:21:38,700 --> 00:21:41,800
So what I mean diffusers like 
playing sports, so if I'm 

459
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,800
playing basketball shooting 
Hoops, my friends are much more 

460
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,700
open to this fluid conversation 
to speak about things that are 

461
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,000
more real to me as opposed to 
say. 

462
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,700
Okay 6:30 p.m. today, we're 
meeting at the dinner table such

463
00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:52,300
a delight. 
It's funny. 

464
00:21:52,300 --> 00:21:55,200
My sister is the same way where 
when we're talking about 

465
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,300
something, if she gets 
emotional, she it's like hard if

466
00:21:58,300 --> 00:22:01,000
I were to look at her and pick. 
Okay, tell me what's Happening 

467
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:01,700
Here. 
I see. 

468
00:22:01,700 --> 00:22:04,700
You're so what I'll do is I'll 
intentionally like scroll on my 

469
00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,700
phone and have tuner out. 
She just gets into this like, 

470
00:22:07,700 --> 00:22:09,600
space of Consciousness. 
I'll tell her, that's what I'm 

471
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,000
doing. 
I'm like, I'm listening, but I 

472
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:14,100
know that if I stare at you, 
you're gonna stop talking and 

473
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,600
it's really helpful, especially 
with teenagers when we kind of 

474
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,500
have become accustomed to this 
environment of constantly being 

475
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:20,900
on technology. 
It's definitely not. 

476
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,900
I wish that wasn't a way that 
people opened up more, but doing

477
00:22:23,900 --> 00:22:26,300
that parallel processing and 
having that distraction. 

478
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:28,800
Totally agree. 
So, helpful and I love the 

479
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,700
validation piece. 
I know that was one of the 

480
00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:32,800
biggest things in my 
relationship with my dad, 

481
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,300
because when I started 
struggling with depression, he's

482
00:22:35,300 --> 00:22:36,900
never been depressed. 
Today in his life. 

483
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:39,800
So he was like did he realize 
that kids could get depressed? 

484
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,700
And so it was really interesting
because he first approached it 

485
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:46,100
by I wouldn't get out of bed in 
the morning. 

486
00:22:46,100 --> 00:22:48,400
I didn't want to do anything and
he would come into my room and 

487
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,100
he would play classical music. 
Like as loud as the speaker 

488
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,900
would go. 
He think if I play something 

489
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:54,900
loud enough, she'll get up, 
she'll go do something, she'll 

490
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:58,000
go to school, it'll be fine. 
Of course I didn't get up. 

491
00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,900
I just ignore him. 
I was like Dad this isn't 

492
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:04,200
helping go away and it wasn't 
until I was in intensive 

493
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,700
treatment I was at a residential
and I had Diary cards that kind 

494
00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:10,400
of tracked where I was at 
depression, wise, anxiety, wise,

495
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,900
suicidal, ideation wise, and he 
couldn't understand what I was 

496
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:16,000
feeling. 
I was hiding a lot of things so 

497
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,100
we couldn't see it, but he would
look on these diary cards to 

498
00:23:19,100 --> 00:23:20,300
make. 
Oh my gosh, like she's 

499
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:24,000
experiencing a 9 out of 10 for 
the worst emotions she's ever 

500
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,200
felt for depression and anxiety 
and suicidal ideation. 

501
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,000
And I can't even imagine how 
much pain that is for someone to

502
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,000
go through on a daily basis. 
And then you could be like, I 

503
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,600
see that you're struggling and 
he'd never said that before. 

504
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,600
He'd never Been aware of that, 
he never communicated that and 

505
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,500
yet it was so powerful and for 
him, just to make that space and

506
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:44,900
be like, I acknowledge this. 
And I see it, and it's real, and

507
00:23:44,900 --> 00:23:48,100
I can't solve it for you. 
He didn't get it 100%, but he 

508
00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:49,500
could see it and appreciate 
that. 

509
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,200
And that was so powerful. 
Especially you said tip for 

510
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,400
parents or someone who hasn't 
been there before. 

511
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,000
Yeah. 
And I think that's a huge thing.

512
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,800
There you said write, your dad's
never experienced a day of 

513
00:23:57,808 --> 00:24:00,900
depression is life. 
Sometimes you can't relate to 

514
00:24:00,900 --> 00:24:02,000
switch. 
Someone's going through most 

515
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,300
times. 
You probably can't, but I don't 

516
00:24:03,300 --> 00:24:05,600
think it's about fully saying, 
okay, I've been there. 

517
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,300
I've done that. 
It's more so talk to me. 

518
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:09,700
What are you? 
What are you going to kind of 

519
00:24:09,700 --> 00:24:11,200
feel? 
What can I do to listen? 

520
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,800
What can I do to help? 
I'm here for you. 

521
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,500
Just like simple things but 
like, totally. 

522
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:18,100
I kind of backwards, methodology
of how you usually solve 

523
00:24:18,100 --> 00:24:19,600
problems and your daily life, 
right? 

524
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:21,800
Totally totally. 
And it's funny because 

525
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,100
validation is so great. 
Because even when you completely

526
00:24:24,100 --> 00:24:26,800
disagree with someone, like 
sometimes when you look at 

527
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,500
someone that's depressed from 
the outside, you know, that if 

528
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:32,700
you get up and get active and 
you get outside that will help 

529
00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,300
but that's the hardest thing for
people to do. 

530
00:24:34,300 --> 00:24:38,300
So completely frustrating to try
to just want someone because you

531
00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:40,600
can't make them do things. 
You can't make them get out of 

532
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,600
bed and yet you don't have to 
agree with the decisions they're

533
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,100
making. 
You don't have to agree with the

534
00:24:45,100 --> 00:24:47,500
actions that are going on to 
validate them. 

535
00:24:47,500 --> 00:24:50,500
You can just kind of be there to
appreciate the pain, and the 

536
00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:54,100
emotions and validate that, and 
not reinforce and agree with 

537
00:24:54,100 --> 00:24:56,200
behaviors as well. 
So, it's just such an amazing 

538
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,100
tool. 
I want to take a timeout and, 

539
00:24:58,100 --> 00:25:00,100
because I know you're all about 
tangible action for your 

540
00:25:00,100 --> 00:25:02,000
listeners. 
I wanted to revise some value. 

541
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,700
That helped me over the last 
year with when you're in that 

542
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:06,000
state, when you don't want to 
do. 

543
00:25:06,100 --> 00:25:07,600
I think knowing that it would 
help. 

544
00:25:07,700 --> 00:25:11,100
So, for me personally, I use a 
Google Calendar and do a thing 

545
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:12,500
called Pomodoro study 
techniques. 

546
00:25:12,500 --> 00:25:16,200
I'm very structured in my 
studies, but the issue with your

547
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,500
emotions is you can't say at 11 
a.m. till 12, I'm going to feel 

548
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,800
this way, right? 
I wish I wish. 

549
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,300
So what? 
I've come to learn one of my 

550
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:28,100
friends, who's a psychiatrist in
Melbourne, he said this thing 

551
00:25:28,100 --> 00:25:30,300
called micro goals, so I've been
doing that. 

552
00:25:30,300 --> 00:25:34,000
So an example of that would be. 
So let's say it's Thursday, 6:36

553
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,200
p.m. and I'm laying in bed. 
And something of negativity or 

554
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:39,200
something floods. 
My thoughts. 

555
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,100
And it's supposed to say can't 
do it. 

556
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:44,200
Can't get in that state. 
Okay, I go to my phone, I set an

557
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,800
alarm for 7:06 p.m., so the next
30 minutes, I listen to music, 

558
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,500
I'll cry, I'll go on Pinterest, 
I'll do whatever I want and I'll

559
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:54,700
flood those emotions and let 
myself feel, but at 7:06, then 

560
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:57,900
I'll go wash my face. 
Walk down the street, cook 

561
00:25:57,900 --> 00:26:01,900
something to eat, do one, small 
micro goal to allow myself to 

562
00:26:01,900 --> 00:26:04,900
transition out of that. 
So I allowed myself to feel, but

563
00:26:04,900 --> 00:26:07,600
not take over my day or Week, 
which is something that's 

564
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:09,400
helpful to me. 
I know it's easier said than 

565
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,900
done, but I think that could be 
very helpful, at least one 

566
00:26:11,900 --> 00:26:13,700
listener of yours. 
Totally. 

567
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:16,700
And it's so powerful because you
give yourself that place to 

568
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,000
experience and you're not 
avoiding. 

569
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,600
So you're not necessarily 
problems worse for yourself in 

570
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,600
the future and then from there, 
you're able to change your 

571
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,900
action, through able to change 
those behaviors, which then will

572
00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,100
change your thoughts and then 
your emotions as well. 

573
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:31,900
So you can really come full 
circle and move past that place 

574
00:26:31,900 --> 00:26:35,500
that you're in will helpfully 
healthily moving through that 

575
00:26:35,500 --> 00:26:36,400
and process. 
The saying. 

576
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,300
And so, it's amazing. 
So some of my favorite posts 

577
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:42,500
that you share our about what 
you should say, and what you 

578
00:26:42,500 --> 00:26:44,100
shouldn't say to people that are
struggling. 

579
00:26:44,100 --> 00:26:47,600
Because again, we, we all have 
emotions. 

580
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,800
We all have mental health. 
We know what we experienced 

581
00:26:50,700 --> 00:26:52,500
times. 
When I have a friend, or a 

582
00:26:52,500 --> 00:26:54,300
family member, that's going 
through something, I'm like 

583
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,300
what's helpful here. 
Like I have to really, we rewire

584
00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:00,600
my thought process to be like, 
how can I support this person 

585
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,100
and not going to problem 
solving? 

586
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:04,500
Because that's how we approach. 
So many things and it's not 

587
00:27:04,500 --> 00:27:05,600
always helpful. 
Yeah. 

588
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:09,400
So, I was wondering if you could
kind of walk me through the do's

589
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:11,300
and don'ts of speaking to 
someone who's struggling with 

590
00:27:11,300 --> 00:27:14,500
her motivation. 
Anxiety, all of those kinds of 

591
00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:16,700
things. 
That's a big question and I my 

592
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,600
pardon no expert. 
I just share from what I've 

593
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,200
experienced. 
That's when you know what? 

594
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,500
I've looked up and found. 
So I think obviously the things 

595
00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:25,500
not to say is right your 
traumatic, your attention, 

596
00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:31,000
seeking your disease, just just 
be positive or just snap out of 

597
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,800
it, right, or relax or like all 
those things, right? 

598
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:35,900
Obviously you can explain why 
those don't work. 

599
00:27:36,100 --> 00:27:38,000
Work. 
But I think figuring out what 

600
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,900
does work as opposed to thinking
about the right terms. 

601
00:27:40,900 --> 00:27:43,200
I think it's more about thinking
about like you were saying the 

602
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,600
right, thought process? 
Okay, I'm not trying to solve a 

603
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,300
problem here. 
I'm trying to allow this person 

604
00:27:48,300 --> 00:27:53,100
in my life to feel accepted feel
a valid, a listen to empathize, 

605
00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:54,700
like the things we've said 
before, right? 

606
00:27:54,700 --> 00:27:57,500
So what can I do to help 
whenever you need to talk? 

607
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,600
I'm here to listen to you. 
I can't imagine how that feels 

608
00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:04,100
right things that I guess open 
the conversation of except 

609
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,800
through the acceptance, right. 
Is shutting that door which they

610
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,300
probably don't want to open to 
begin with. 

611
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:11,700
So the fact that they're 
slightly opening it you never 

612
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:14,700
know how long they'll be open 
for and what it means to them 

613
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:16,600
because that's another thing 
right? 

614
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:21,100
When we talk about seeking 
support the such a guess, tough 

615
00:28:21,100 --> 00:28:23,400
term to say, especially on 
social media. 

616
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,300
Because the quick response 
people say is when I've sought 

617
00:28:26,300 --> 00:28:29,300
support in the past, people have
shut me down, people said, yeah,

618
00:28:29,900 --> 00:28:33,200
right now with right with Meghan
Markle where she went and she 

619
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,900
asked for support and they're 
like sorry. 

620
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:37,500
Oh, yeah. 
So that's spot-on. 

621
00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,100
Exactly. 
Perfect thing in pop culture 

622
00:28:39,100 --> 00:28:42,200
right now where it's that's real
life, what happens to a lot of 

623
00:28:42,208 --> 00:28:45,600
people? 
So I think seeking support is so

624
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:49,200
hard especially if someone has 
already been troubled in the 

625
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,100
past from it, so to respect that
and be there. 

626
00:28:52,100 --> 00:28:55,500
And yeah, so yeah, that's that's
what I think. 

627
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:58,300
Whenever I talk about actionable
steps, you can take for, 

628
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,200
depression, or anxiety, or 
whatever it is, that you're 

629
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,000
struggling with. 
I always say that the hardest 

630
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,000
thing I ever did was for that 
first time accepting that I 

631
00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,200
needed help because they Month 
and everything was real. 

632
00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:09,600
It wasn't that I could just 
avoid it anymore and put it in a

633
00:29:09,600 --> 00:29:11,300
nice little spot. 
In the back of my head, it was 

634
00:29:11,300 --> 00:29:14,100
like, okay I'm voicing this, I'm
telling someone else, it's 

635
00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:17,700
actually a real problem, and I 
was also saying that I couldn't 

636
00:29:17,700 --> 00:29:20,400
handle it myself which for me, I
totally saw as a sign of 

637
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,200
weakness that I wasn't strong 
enough that I wasn't able to 

638
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,400
handle this. 
That it was too much for me. 

639
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,500
And I had so many negative 
beliefs around that, that I was 

640
00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,400
going to be good enough because 
I couldn't cope with this or 

641
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:33,100
manage it and so getting through
that that first time and telling

642
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:35,700
someone that you're not okay and
hopefully having that be well 

643
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:39,900
received received means that 
you're not only trying to avoid 

644
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:42,100
what you're going through which 
is creating more suffering for 

645
00:29:42,108 --> 00:29:44,000
yourself. 
But you have more people in your

646
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,200
corner and they're not going to 
solve your problems or not. 

647
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:47,600
Going to fight your battles for 
you. 

648
00:29:47,800 --> 00:29:50,700
But you have support and you 
have people, you can lean on and

649
00:29:50,700 --> 00:29:53,300
you have more people, you can 
get advice from and tips and 

650
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:56,500
tricks and just so much more 
knowledge from which you can 

651
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:59,500
pull this week's episode is 
brought to you by saqqara. 

652
00:29:59,700 --> 00:30:02,100
You guys know how much I'm 
stressing the importance of good

653
00:30:02,100 --> 00:30:04,100
sleep. 
Good nutrition getting outside 

654
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:07,200
staying active because when we 
Care of our physical health, our

655
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:09,000
mental health, truly suffers as 
well. 

656
00:30:09,300 --> 00:30:11,800
I know that my emotional 
vulnerability is off the charts 

657
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:13,400
and I'm not taking care of my 
physical health. 

658
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,400
I can't be productive. 
My relationships, struggle and 

659
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,800
everything just becomes a mess. 
So Cara is nutrition company. 

660
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,100
That focuses on overall, 
Wellness, starting with what you

661
00:30:22,100 --> 00:30:24,200
eat. 
The organic Ready-to-Eat meals 

662
00:30:24,300 --> 00:30:26,400
are made with powerful plant 
based ingredients and they're 

663
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,700
designed to boost your energy 
improve digestion. 

664
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:32,000
And get your skin glowing, their
meals are delivered all around 

665
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,200
the u.s. ready to eat at your 
door and you are good to go. 

666
00:30:35,300 --> 00:30:37,800
They also have some Amazing 
Wellness Essentials like one of 

667
00:30:37,808 --> 00:30:40,800
my favorites, their sleep T 
which you know I love a good cup

668
00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:43,300
of tea before bed to keep my 
sleep hygiene and check, they 

669
00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:46,000
also have things like Beauty 
chocolates, like chocolate that 

670
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:49,700
you eat to help your skin. 
Like, literally mind, blown so 

671
00:30:49,700 --> 00:30:52,800
many different supplements. 
Tease powder is granola all of 

672
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,600
that kind of stuff to get your 
hands on their amazing products.

673
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:58,700
You can go to saqqara.com and 
use codec so Saadia. 

674
00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:04,100
Check out for 20% off, again, 
that's the car.com use code XO 

675
00:31:04,100 --> 00:31:07,400
Saadia, check out for 20% off, 
Your first order City, let's 

676
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,000
talk about that. 
First time you sought support. 

677
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:12,900
Was there an epiphany? 
Was there a Breaking Point. 

678
00:31:12,900 --> 00:31:15,700
Why did you seek support? 
Okay? 

679
00:31:15,700 --> 00:31:17,400
I know why. 
Why did you hit that point? 

680
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:23,200
Yeah, so it was it was crazy and
that I was like backed into a 

681
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,600
corner when I was struggling 
with depression and anxiety and 

682
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,100
when I was really, really 
struggling. 

683
00:31:28,100 --> 00:31:30,600
I was already in like weekly 
counseling. 

684
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,200
I was going to a therapist and 
we were like, trying to think. 

685
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,900
I was like, working on, like 
getting all my chores. 

686
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:39,000
Has done or having effective 
conversations with my parents. 

687
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:42,900
So I was in therapy, just not 
for depression, and it was just 

688
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:46,000
slowly, but surely, everything 
was deteriorating around me. 

689
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,900
I wasn't sleeping. 
I would go like days without 

690
00:31:47,900 --> 00:31:50,000
sleeping. 
I wasn't eating, I was 

691
00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,800
withdrawing from every single 
person around me whether that 

692
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,100
was my parents or my friends. 
I was really just going. 

693
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:59,600
Six hundred percent into school 
and other activities to avoid 

694
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,000
anything and I was just super 
overwhelmed and really sad and 

695
00:32:03,008 --> 00:32:05,600
just so many emotions that I 
wasn't processing. 

696
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,600
I actually went into the 
doctors, my parents brought me 

697
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,700
in because they were like, this 
is not normal. 

698
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:14,200
We don't know what to do. 
And what we're trying right now 

699
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,600
isn't working, so they brought 
me in to my pediatrician and 

700
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,100
they ask you the questions or 
like, have you lost interest in 

701
00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:22,400
things you've used to enjoy? 
How are your relationships? 

702
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,400
Do you feel sad a lot of the 
time and it had gotten so bad. 

703
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:31,200
I was so withdrawn. 
And so like removed from coping,

704
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:33,600
and from what I was going 
through and I was also 13. 

705
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,800
I forgot to mention that I was 
13 at this time. 

706
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,700
So this was a lot for for 
someone, my age to be going 

707
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:42,500
through. 
And so I went to the doctors and

708
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,400
they're like, okay, you have a 
psychiatrist appointment this 

709
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,200
afternoon and during that entire
appointment, I didn't say 

710
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,600
anything to anyone. 
I was completely silent and 

711
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,600
closed off. 
I went to the psychiatrist. 

712
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:52,900
Same thing. 
So I actually went to the 

713
00:32:52,900 --> 00:32:55,200
hospital the first time that I 
ever got that help. 

714
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,900
And the way that I communicated 
that I was actually going 

715
00:32:58,900 --> 00:33:02,100
through something and validated 
that was, she had me draw, like 

716
00:33:02,100 --> 00:33:04,900
a pie chart and she was like, 
what are your emotions that 

717
00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:07,700
you're feeling? 
For me, it was just like I said,

718
00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:10,400
like sadness and emptiness and 
alone. 

719
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,500
And that was what I was feeling 
100% of the time. 

720
00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:17,500
And so, I went to the hospital 
and I was there, I think for a 

721
00:33:17,500 --> 00:33:22,000
week or 10 days at that point at
13 and I had just was so removed

722
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,300
from the idea of asking for help
or coping or getting support 

723
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:29,000
that the ability to voice what I
was experiencing or go to 

724
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,500
anyone. 
At that point was so far from my

725
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,700
my reality. 
And so for that first time 

726
00:33:34,700 --> 00:33:37,700
actually acknowledging that That
was crazy because I also didn't 

727
00:33:37,700 --> 00:33:39,700
realize what Depression was. 
I was really young at that 

728
00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:42,200
point, had really heard of it 
hadn't had friends that had 

729
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:45,200
struggled with it, so it kind of
felt like I was just kind of 

730
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:47,100
crazy. 
Like, I'm experiencing all these

731
00:33:47,100 --> 00:33:49,500
things that aren't normal. 
No one else is having this going

732
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:51,200
on. 
And so I was just like, I just 

733
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,300
am really, really miserable and 
I don't know why it after that 

734
00:33:54,300 --> 00:33:55,700
came. 
Not only a lot of support, but a

735
00:33:55,708 --> 00:33:58,500
lot of clarity, because what I 
was going through, was, in a 

736
00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:01,600
sense, not normal, but other 
people had gone through before, 

737
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,000
and it was an actual diagnosis, 
and there were treatments and 

738
00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,100
people that Jobs were to support
you which is therapists and 

739
00:34:08,100 --> 00:34:10,900
doctors will of that. 
And so that was that first time 

740
00:34:10,900 --> 00:34:14,300
that I ever got support on. 
And then the other pivotal 

741
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:17,699
moment was when I was in 
residential treatment and I 

742
00:34:17,699 --> 00:34:20,000
wasn't able to stay home because
things were improving with 

743
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,300
depression and anxiety and my 
family relationships. 

744
00:34:22,699 --> 00:34:26,000
So, I got to this Hospital in 
Boston, which I've talked about 

745
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,100
on the podcast so many times 
because they have the most 

746
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:31,100
amazing program, but they asked 
me in the really do want to be 

747
00:34:31,100 --> 00:34:33,600
here. 
It's like no, I don't want to be

748
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,500
here. 
I had Googled before and if 

749
00:34:35,500 --> 00:34:38,699
you've ever Ever seen the movie 
Girl Interrupted. 

750
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:42,800
It's based on this hospital, it 
was an asylum and like 1900's. 

751
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,400
I was like, oh my God, where am 
I going? 

752
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:49,400
I was terrified. 14 years old 
about to like get carted off to 

753
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,600
some like psychiatric unit and I
was so scared when I got there 

754
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:54,100
and I was like, no, I don't want
to be here. 

755
00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:56,400
And they're like, okay, we 
completely respect that and we 

756
00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,300
understand that and you can't be
here unless you see the wisdom 

757
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,700
and this treatment and you trust
us. 

758
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:06,900
And so that was the other time 
where I not only asked Help and 

759
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:09,500
I accepted that I need help. 
But I trust you to other people 

760
00:35:09,500 --> 00:35:12,600
enough to help me and I gave it 
to their advice and their 

761
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,700
support and the skills. 
They taught me. 

762
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,700
And I actually opened myself to 
the idea of treatment working 

763
00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:20,300
instead of just going through 
the motions like I did initially

764
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,900
which was hearing that I wasn't 
okay. 

765
00:35:22,900 --> 00:35:25,400
And that I was depressed and 
navigating that. 

766
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:28,000
So those were definitely the two
pivotal moments for sure. 

767
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:30,400
Wow, yeah, I can't imagine what 
it must be. 

768
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,900
Like at that point to just with 
open arms trust someone, when 

769
00:35:33,900 --> 00:35:36,600
you got vulnerable right and in 
that state, It's much easier to 

770
00:35:36,607 --> 00:35:40,100
trust me a good place. 
It was terrifying for sure. 

771
00:35:40,100 --> 00:35:42,900
And on top of that, I just 
talked all of my belongings and 

772
00:35:42,900 --> 00:35:45,700
moved across the country and my 
parents just thought they would 

773
00:35:45,700 --> 00:35:47,500
take me there. 
Like, okay, she will drop her 

774
00:35:47,500 --> 00:35:49,100
off. 
She's good sign the paper and 

775
00:35:49,100 --> 00:35:51,500
she'll they'll work on this but 
of course with so much 

776
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:54,400
compassion and love, they were 
so worried about me but to hear 

777
00:35:54,400 --> 00:35:57,200
that they weren't going to like 
help me, unless I want it to be 

778
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,400
helping her somewhat. 
Like this isn't how this works. 

779
00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:04,000
And so I'd lost everything in a 
sense in the hope of getting 

780
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,300
treatment and getting help. 
And I didn't believe In that 

781
00:36:06,300 --> 00:36:08,500
treatment that I was pursuing at
that point. 

782
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:11,400
It's so it was crazy for sure. 
And it was definitely a moment 

783
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:14,800
that stuck with me and I'm so 
glad that I trusted them because

784
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,300
14 weeks later, I was waking up 
and for the first time in years,

785
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:20,500
I wasn't depressed. 
And I wasn't suicidal. 

786
00:36:20,500 --> 00:36:23,400
And I'm knew how to cope with 
and manage my anxiety. 

787
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:26,000
And that wouldn't have happened 
unless I really did trust them, 

788
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:28,600
and give that my all. 
And so, I'm so glad I did, but 

789
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,000
it was again, terrifying and 
scary completely amazing, and 

790
00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:35,000
that life-changing moment that's
I think that's most people write

791
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,100
with like life-changing. 
A few moments it's like this 

792
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,400
really scary transition or you 
don't know what if and just? 

793
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,500
Yeah. 
You're so thankful that you went

794
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:45,100
through what you did. 
Now 1,400 that now you have a 

795
00:36:45,300 --> 00:36:48,300
skill set and now you want to 
inspire Empower others to 

796
00:36:48,300 --> 00:36:51,100
probably do the same. 
And we don't see it in the 

797
00:36:51,100 --> 00:36:53,800
moment. 
Like I was like, did not 

798
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:57,100
understand the purposes and any 
of this, I was just miserable. 

799
00:36:57,100 --> 00:36:59,000
I hated everything. 
I didn't understand why I was 

800
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,500
being forced to get treatment. 
I didn't think the treatment 

801
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:05,300
work at all of this had no 
purpose or meaning or Journey 

802
00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:08,000
that I could. 
So now like three or four years 

803
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,800
later, I can look back and be 
like this is why this worked. 

804
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:15,500
This is why asking for help at 
this point was so effective. 

805
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:18,400
And these were the resources 
that that had such an amazing 

806
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,300
impact on me. 
But in the moment you don't see 

807
00:37:20,300 --> 00:37:21,800
that. 
You don't see the purpose of 

808
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,600
struggling with things that you 
can help other people and 

809
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,400
connect with them. 
And so it takes time for sure. 

810
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:30,900
Another thing that I thought 
would be super important and 

811
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:35,200
relevant to touch on was red 
flags of sorts or things to keep

812
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,400
an eye on. 
On to know when someone else is 

813
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,400
struggling. 
What should you look out for to 

814
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,600
keep an eye on other people's 
mental health and check in with 

815
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,900
them and kind of be aware of 
when things might might not be 

816
00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:49,000
going so well for them. 
Yeah. 

817
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:51,600
I think of red flags is 
different for everyone, right? 

818
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,500
I think it's more. 
So about being aware of the 

819
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:57,300
relationships, you have with the
people in your life and what 

820
00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:01,200
their I said she I guess. 
Quote unquote, normal is from 

821
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:05,700
this super energetic outgoing 
guy and the last three days I've

822
00:38:05,700 --> 00:38:09,600
had Lunch in my car, or lunch at
the library, or just small 

823
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,300
things of just isolating more to
check in on and just asking. 

824
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:14,500
Hey, man, how's everything 
doing. 

825
00:38:14,500 --> 00:38:17,100
Are you okay, just like going 
out of your way when you 

826
00:38:17,100 --> 00:38:19,900
recognize as opposed to just 
thinking that getting caught up 

827
00:38:19,900 --> 00:38:22,300
in your own bubble, which is 
easy for a lot of us to do. 

828
00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:25,000
So I for me personally, that was
one of the things that I 

829
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,900
noticed, I did more was, I was 
just more I guess standoffish or

830
00:38:29,300 --> 00:38:33,000
I guess no more more tired or 
made excuses of why not to go to

831
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,100
certain things or a last-minute 
cancellation Fashion. 

832
00:38:36,100 --> 00:38:39,600
So I felt like yeah lean into 
your intuition and try to really

833
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:43,000
know based off your relationship
with someone if ya just ask. 

834
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:46,100
I think that's from my 
perspective of what I've 

835
00:38:46,100 --> 00:38:47,200
learned. 
I would love to hear your 

836
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,300
thoughts as well. 
Yeah, I think I completely agree

837
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:52,800
and I think people won't always 
be receptive. 

838
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:55,300
Or remember people ask me like, 
are you okay? 

839
00:38:55,300 --> 00:38:57,100
And the default pic? 
Yeah, I'm totally fine. 

840
00:38:57,100 --> 00:38:58,900
I'm good. 
But even just knowing that 

841
00:38:58,900 --> 00:39:02,100
someone noticed something or 
cared enough to ask, like that 

842
00:39:02,100 --> 00:39:04,800
means a lot even if I in that 
moment, was the able to think 

843
00:39:05,100 --> 00:39:07,400
I'm actually not, okay. 
I could really use this support 

844
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,400
because X Y and Z is gone on and
this is what would be helpful. 

845
00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:13,300
But just to know that someone 
notices, that you're acting 

846
00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:16,000
differently and cares enough to 
get curious. 

847
00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,800
That is so powerful. 
And so, even if someone doesn't 

848
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,900
receive it very well in the 
moment, just know that it might 

849
00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:24,800
have a, really, really big 
impact on their emotional state 

850
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,700
that day. 
The other thing that I really 

851
00:39:26,700 --> 00:39:29,100
wanted to touch on because I 
don't have male guest on the 

852
00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:31,800
podcast super often. 
It is called she persisted, but 

853
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,600
that's mostly because of my 
story. 

854
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:37,500
But I have you read the book? 
Untamed by Glennon Doyle. 

855
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,500
I have not but I've heard of it 
so good. 

856
00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:43,100
I'm so she, this isn't like so 
many books, but she talks about 

857
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:46,300
her relationship with her son. 
And how, when her daughters were

858
00:39:46,300 --> 00:39:49,200
born, she trained them from day 
one to like, think outside of 

859
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,800
the box. 
And if they're asking a question

860
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,600
and being authoritative, that's 
what they're doing. 

861
00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:55,800
They're not being bossy. 
So she train them to fight 

862
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:59,000
against this and be feminist 
their entire life. 

863
00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:01,700
And then she looks at her 
relationship with her son, when 

864
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:05,400
he was becoming a teenager and 
she was like, I have put him in 

865
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,600
this box that I was trying to 
destroy, which is not 

866
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:10,900
expressing. 
Oceans and not saying when 

867
00:40:10,900 --> 00:40:15,300
you're not okay, or connecting 
and having strong relationships.

868
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:17,800
And I think that would be really
interesting to kind of touch on 

869
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,000
and get your experience on as 
far as the gender Norms on 

870
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,100
expressing emotions and saying 
you're not, okay? 

871
00:40:24,100 --> 00:40:28,000
And navigating mental health 
challenges because it's a huge, 

872
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,700
it's a completely different 
standard for males and females 

873
00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:34,000
and you see it so much in the 
treatment industry, even when 

874
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,400
you're just looking for 
programs, for teenage boys 

875
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,700
versus girls, totally different 
Numbers when you look at like 

876
00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:42,900
statistics as far as abuse or 
neglect and male versus female 

877
00:40:42,900 --> 00:40:46,000
programs, completely different 
and even just like the rates as 

878
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,900
far as teenage depression for 
males versus females. 

879
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:52,100
The number of females that will 
either be in touch enough with 

880
00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:55,000
their emotions to voice that 
they're struggling, is so 

881
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,500
different from what we see in 
males. 

882
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,700
And so I kind of just wanted to 
hear your thoughts on that. 

883
00:40:58,700 --> 00:41:01,700
Yeah, I think that's really 
eye-opening to me, especially 

884
00:41:01,700 --> 00:41:05,000
the last year I thought female 
struggle more with mental health

885
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,300
or suicide than males. 
I think females Whole have much 

886
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,700
better support systems in place 
right sides that they can go to 

887
00:41:12,700 --> 00:41:14,700
for help. 
So it never gets tickets for 

888
00:41:14,700 --> 00:41:16,300
normalized. 
What normalized? 

889
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:19,000
His emotions are normal. 
Like there's no breaking point 

890
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:21,100
when the guy who is it is it 
three out of every four, 

891
00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:23,500
suicides his mail? 
And I think that has a lot to do

892
00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:26,300
with the fact that we're not 
allowed to feel are more 

893
00:41:26,300 --> 00:41:28,500
importantly. 
We don't have these cliques or 

894
00:41:28,500 --> 00:41:31,800
groups or friends or family that
we feel like we just go when we 

895
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,400
are not like banter but just 
like expressed his daily. 

896
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:37,900
What's going on right? 
Spent Iran. 

897
00:41:38,100 --> 00:41:39,400
Be like this person is so 
annoying. 

898
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:41,900
I'm so angry. 
Like that's like no, you don't 

899
00:41:41,900 --> 00:41:43,700
let it out you surprise. 
Say what do you think it 

900
00:41:43,707 --> 00:41:46,700
eventually grew to a point where
it's like, oh my God, how could 

901
00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:49,900
he have done this? 
It's because there is no fluids.

902
00:41:51,700 --> 00:41:55,400
Yeah, so I think that was a huge
thing and I've actually done a 

903
00:41:55,408 --> 00:41:58,000
social experiment know if you 
saw it on my Instagram, the last

904
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,700
few days where I've gone into 
the city. 

905
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,900
So before I say, the last 50 
days, there's been no cases of 

906
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,800
covid here in the whole state of
New South Wales. 

907
00:42:05,100 --> 00:42:07,900
So I put up a some shallots and 
that it's our cousin. 

908
00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:14,200
So how to sign says, if you've 
ever struggled with depression 

909
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:17,000
or anxiety, hug me, I was 
blindfolded with my arms, open 

910
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,400
the middle of the city and like,
90% of people that hug me, or 

911
00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:24,400
guys, like I would have never 
thought a random guy would hug 

912
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,900
another random guy but Mental 
Health on the street and be so 

913
00:42:26,900 --> 00:42:29,300
vulnerable. 
So even the last couple days 

914
00:42:29,300 --> 00:42:33,300
I've recognized that like Guys, 
want other guys to be receptive 

915
00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:35,600
to to open that door so that 
they can just Express 

916
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:38,400
themselves, right? 
Yeah, so I think it's really 

917
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:41,600
important that we all do our 
part as males and obviously, as 

918
00:42:41,600 --> 00:42:45,600
females to be, as vulnerable as 
we are comfortable to be on, 

919
00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,700
it's just it's crazy. 
It's just a mind-boggling to 

920
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:53,200
think about because as humans 
were built off of connection, 

921
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,500
when we're not connected, when 
we're not having engaging 

922
00:42:55,500 --> 00:42:57,900
responses from people are 
physical health declines, our 

923
00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:01,400
stress levels increase, like 
there's physical Presentations 

924
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,600
of how much that impacts you and
how much that makes you 

925
00:43:03,607 --> 00:43:06,000
struggle. 
And yet males in our society or 

926
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,000
condition to the ought to do the
opposite of connecting, which is

927
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,700
not express your emotions, not 
get really authentic or 

928
00:43:11,700 --> 00:43:14,600
vulnerable and relationships, 
and the impact on mental health 

929
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:16,600
is just terrible. 
And then, that's exacerbated 

930
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,400
because we have all these 
statistics where it's like, 

931
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:22,000
well, females experience things 
for more than men do, as far as 

932
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:23,800
depression, and anxiety related 
rates. 

933
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:25,900
And it's like, well, if people 
aren't expressing that in the 

934
00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:28,600
first place, of course, those 
statistics will be skewed. 

935
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,800
And then, as a result, there's 
less Says, there's less people 

936
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:33,200
aware of it and talking about 
it. 

937
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,600
And so, it's just something to 
be really, really aware of and 

938
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,500
really, really cognizant of 
because it's just, it's a crazy,

939
00:43:39,500 --> 00:43:42,700
big problem and it's like hurts 
your mind to think about, but 

940
00:43:42,700 --> 00:43:45,700
yeah, exactly. 
And but if there's been one, 

941
00:43:45,700 --> 00:43:49,900
good thing that I think is come 
from covid is I guess the 

942
00:43:49,900 --> 00:43:53,000
destigmatize a shit or more 
normalization around the the 

943
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,200
conversation to mental health. 
But I think there's still ways 

944
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,800
to go there and I think it's 
more about. 

945
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,600
Okay, what are the actionable 
steps that you can take? 

946
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:03,100
Take because people are speaking
about it because people are 

947
00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:05,300
like, you're not busy in this 9 
to 5 life. 

948
00:44:05,300 --> 00:44:06,800
You can't just suppress it with 
busyness. 

949
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,200
Like people are making these 
drastic like shaky decisions, 

950
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,400
but they're not drastic. 
They're just more aware of like 

951
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,100
holy shit. 
This where I'm at in my life for

952
00:44:14,100 --> 00:44:16,600
this is actually feel. 
It's like, I need to make 

953
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,700
changes and just yeah, I think 
that's one. 

954
00:44:18,700 --> 00:44:22,100
Positive of covid is, I guess 
more awareness of our mental 

955
00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:25,100
health, totally, totally. 
No, I completely agree were 

956
00:44:25,100 --> 00:44:28,200
given so much more time and 
space to just sit with what 

957
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,700
we're going through before we 
could just numb everything. 

958
00:44:30,900 --> 00:44:33,800
Out with going for like point A 
to point B to point C and just 

959
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:35,800
interacting with everyone and 
never getting to sit with the 

960
00:44:35,808 --> 00:44:37,600
emotions and the thoughts that 
we're having. 

961
00:44:37,900 --> 00:44:40,100
And now you're forced to do that
and that's caused a lot of pain 

962
00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:42,800
for a lot of people because they
are, there were so out of touch 

963
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:44,200
with them, that it's so 
overwhelming. 

964
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,500
And they're so out of practice 
of dealing with those emotions 

965
00:44:46,500 --> 00:44:49,200
and coping through them. 
But it also with time you get a 

966
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:51,600
lot better at that until I'm 
with it and coping with it, and 

967
00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:55,000
hopefully people are gaining 
more skills and that'll carry 

968
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:58,400
back to when we're going back to
more normal version of life and 

969
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,400
we can carry those into our 
relationships, too. 

970
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:03,600
Exactly spot-on. 
Yeah, I grow sound. 

971
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:05,900
Well I'm so glad we got to sit 
down. 

972
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:08,000
I feel like there were so many 
different amazing parts of this 

973
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,000
episode will be so helpful for 
listeners. 

974
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,100
So thank you so much for joining
me. 

975
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:14,700
Thank you, say for having me for
everyone, that's listening. 

976
00:45:14,700 --> 00:45:18,900
As you know, already she's 17 
years old and I just met her for

977
00:45:18,900 --> 00:45:22,400
the first time and she's I'm so 
inspired by you and I look 

978
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:23,900
forward to watching you along 
your journey as well. 

979
00:45:23,900 --> 00:45:26,800
Say thank you, thank you. 
I appreciate it. 

980
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,900
In case you skip to the end. 
I wanted to recap this episode 

981
00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:31,800
Zachary and I die. 
I've into his journey from 

982
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,000
College Dropout to medical 
student in mental health, 

983
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Advocate. 
We talked all about his 

984
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:39,200
experiences with anxiety 
overthinking and the journaling 

985
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,100
prompts that help them cope with
these feelings. 

986
00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:44,100
We dive into how to support 
individuals that are struggling 

987
00:45:44,100 --> 00:45:47,500
with anxiety, or mental health, 
challenges, and using diffusers 

988
00:45:47,500 --> 00:45:49,900
in these interactions to 
encourage authentic, open 

989
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:52,700
conversations. 
We also talked about supporting 

990
00:45:52,700 --> 00:45:54,700
someone when you don't 
necessarily relate to their 

991
00:45:54,700 --> 00:45:57,600
experience, but still want to 
create space for their struggle.

992
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,300
Lastly, we talked about setting 
micro goals to transition from 

993
00:46:01,500 --> 00:46:03,700
intense, emotional experiences 
to navigating your 

994
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:07,100
responsibilities. 
And finally, how gender Norms 

995
00:46:07,100 --> 00:46:10,100
impact emotional expression and 
mental health challenges. 

996
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:12,700
If you enjoyed this week's 
episode, please share with a 

997
00:46:12,707 --> 00:46:16,100
friend, family member or post 
about it on social media, make 

998
00:46:16,100 --> 00:46:18,200
sure you're subscribed to the 
show, so you don't miss any 

999
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:21,200
future episodes and leave a five
star review on Apple podcast to 

1000
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,600
let me know what you think. 
Thanks for listening and I'll 

1001
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:24,300
see you next Friday.