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Welcome to she persisted I'm 
your host Sadie Saxton a 19 year

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old from the Bay Area studying 
psychology at the University of 

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Pennsylvania. 
She persisted is the Teen Mental

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Health podcast made for 
teenagers by a team in each 

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episode. 
I'll bring you authentic 

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accessible and relatable 
conversations about every aspect

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of mental Wellness. 
You can expect evidence-based, 

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Tina, proof resources, coping 
skills, including lots of DBT, 

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insights and education. 
In each piece of content, you 

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consume, she persisted Offers 
you a safe space to feel 

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validated and understood in your
struggle. 

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While encouraging you to take 
ownership of your journey and 

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build your life worth living. 
So let's Dive In. 

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Before we get onto this episode,
as I'm sure you could tell from 

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the title, I would like to give 
a trigger warning for topics 

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like suicidal, ideation and 
suicide attempts. 

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I encourage you to take care of 
your mental health first. 

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And so, if that means not 
listening to this episode, to 

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avoid being triggered, then do 
that set that boundary do. 

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What is best for you. 
A caveat, if you're still on the

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fence, this is a very skills 
heavy and education focused 

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episode, I tried to really stay 
away from Graphics, so nothing 

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crazy in here, but just if that 
Epic is triggering to you. 

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Here's your little trigger 
warning. 

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Hello, hello. 
And welcome back to. 

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She persisted. 
I'm a little bit nervous for 

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this week's episode. 
It's a vulnerable topic. 

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It's an important topic, which 
is why I wanted to do a solo 

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episode on. 
It, it hits very close to home. 

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So definitely a little bit 
nervous to talk about this, but 

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I am hoping that this episode 
will be helpful for you guys, 

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and that it will provide some 
tips and support that will help 

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you in your journey. 
So, with that, today's episode 

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is about About suicide, 
prevention and suicidal 

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ideation. 
If you didn't know, September is

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suicide prevention month. 
And so I wanted to do a little 

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mini series of sorts talking 
about how you can navigate to a 

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satellite Aviation, how to 
support someone struggling with 

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suicidal, ideation and speak 
from not only what worked for me

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but about what the evidence 
shows is helpful. 

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As far as resources next week's 
episode is a really exciting 

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interview with the fellow teen 
in the mental health space. 

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Her name is Aditya. 
She worked very closely with 

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Didi Hirsch. 
She is actually one of the 

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people that picks up the phones 
if you call. 988. 

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We talk about what happens if 
you call 988, what to expect, if

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you ever call a hotline or a 
helpline, what questions? 

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They asked some common tips that
she gives that you can help 

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Implement, it's just an amazing 
conversation. 

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We talked a lot about the the 
evidence in the research and the

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suicide prevention space, the 
do's and don'ts all of that kind

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of stuff. 
Stuff. 

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And it's a very helpful amazing 
episode that I've never seen 

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anyone do and the podcast space 
before. 

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So I'm very excited about that. 
But today's episode is going to 

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be a solo episode and I'm going 
to touch on my journey and give 

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you a whole bunch of tips and 
tricks and resources and skills 

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that worked for me when I 
struggled with suicidal 

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ideation. 
So it's going to be a lot. 

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I also wanted to give a trigger 
warning at this point. 

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I am going to touch on my 
journey. 

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I'm not Go into any graphics or 
any details is going to be very 

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skills. 
Heavy. 

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Very resource Focus because I 
think that will be what will be 

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most helpful without triggering 
anyone or adding fuel to the 

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fire if you will. 
So to begin to give you a little

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bit of background. 
When I started struggling with 

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depression, I was not struggling
with suicidal ideation. 

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I noticed I began to get 
suicidal after my first or 

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second hospitalization when that
kind of hopelessness set in and 

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I would say it was kind of tied 
to having an understanding 

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Understanding of what I was 
experiencing, I was struggling 

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with depression. 
I had a lot of emotions that 

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were very overwhelming and big 
and difficult to navigate. 

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And on top of that, I wasn't 
really feeling a difference in 

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these emotions. 
Feelings, diagnosis, Etc. 

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I was trying a lot of different 
things I was doing outpatient 

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and inpatient, and DBT, and all 
these different things. 

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But I wasn't seeing a shift in 
my mood or my ability to cope. 

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And so with that lack of 
improvement, I started Feel a 

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sense of hopelessness and if 
you've heard me talk about my 

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story before, you know that, I 
talk about those two years of 

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treatment and home with and now 
increased sense of nuance which 

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is that I didn't believe that I 
was going to not be depressed. 

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Which again, the hopelessness 
was there. 

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I didn't think that I deserve to
be happy. 

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My self-esteem was so shot and I
was going to all these resources

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whether is inpatient treatment 
or outpatient therapy or group 

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therapy but I I didn't believe 
it was going to work. 

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I didn't think I was deserving 
of getting better and so just 

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like manifesting I feel is the 
best way to explain this if you 

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don't believe something is going
to happen, it's not going to 

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happen and that's true. 
If you're training for a 

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marathon or pursuing a degree or
getting better at a scale if you

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are so sure and certain that 
it's not going to work it 

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probably won't and that was true
of my recovery especially in the

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early days. 
So was really hopeless. 

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I felt really overwhelmed and I 
started to It's suicidal 

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ideation and that went on for 
probably a year or two years it 

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culminated in a suicide attempt 
before I went to three East and 

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when I noticed a shift in this 
symptom presentation being 

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suicidal ideation, it was when I
decided that I was no longer 

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going to have suicide as an 
option on the quote-unquote back

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burner in my life. 
I realized when therapy session 

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at McClain that the way I 
operated through any challenge, 

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whether it's It was a difficult 
emotion or therapy appointment 

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or a tough conversation with my 
parents. 

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Anything and everything in my 
life, there was always this 

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voice in the back of my mind, 
saying, well, you know what? 

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If it gets really bad, there's 
always this option or if things 

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are just really terrible, it's 
okay. 

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I don't have to experience that 
and keeping that on the back 

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burner came at a huge deficit to
me because I wasn't invested in 

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my progress. 
It was always like this like one

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foot out the door one foot in 
the door. 

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Like if this works great but 
also whatever because there's 

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this other And in, so I was in 
this therapy. 

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Appointment, I realized. 
Okay, this is how I'm operating 

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through life and this is why I 
can't stop feeling this suicidal

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ideation at this point. 
At this therapy appointment 

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during my time at three East, I 
forgot to mention. 

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If you are not familiar with my 
story halfway through my 

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freshman year of high school, I 
went to a residential treatment 

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program called three East at 
McLean Hospital. 

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It was a dialectical behavioral 
therapy program is there for 14 

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weeks and that's where I really 
saw a shift and my depression 

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and anxiety and suicidal. 
Asian. 

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So during my time there, I was 
in this therapy appointment and 

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I started to see improvements in
my mood, I had started to see 

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some behavioral changes, so my 
sleep was improving. 

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I was starting to be vulnerable 
with my parents. 

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My ability to use my coping 
skills was improving, so I was 

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seeing shifts but I still was 
really struggling with the 

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suicidal ideation and so, I was 
in this therapy session. 

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We're talking through this and 
my therapist asked me something 

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that allowed me to get to the 
realization. 

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That this is how I think about 
life. 

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I have Thing on the back burner.
She's like, that's, that's the 

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problem here. 
This is why you're still feeling

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suicidal. 
This is why you're still having 

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this ideation, is because you 
always see that as an option. 

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And because I had seen these 
small shifts, I was starting to 

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gain a little bit of hope. 
I was starting to feel what my 

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life worth living, really could 
be. 

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I was able to say, okay, I can 
make this jump, I can decide 

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this is no longer going to be my
back burner. 

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This is no longer going to be in
the cards. 

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I trust myself to cope with any 
emotions that arise. 

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I trust myself to navigate any 
challenges that come my way and 

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I trust myself to persist 
through that without having this

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back, burner option. 
If suicide, and that making that

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decision would not have been 
possible, six months prior 

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because there was no, hope I 
hadn't made any progress. 

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So I didn't see the light at the
end of the tunnel where it was 

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like, I know what it feels like 
to be happy and okay. 

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And I can keep working towards 
that goal, no matter what comes,

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Way because I just, I didn't 
know what that was. 

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Like, I was blindly stumbling 
towards this idea of getting 

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better. 
I didn't trust that. 

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That would happen for me. 
I didn't trust that I was 

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capable of feeling that, so it 
took some small shifts. 

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It took some progress for me to 
be able to make that commitment.

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But once I made that commitment,
the way that I approach 

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everything shifted, so instead 
of when I had a tough urge, or a

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tough emotion, or a rough day, 
or an uncomfortable conversation

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instead of kind of toying and 
playing around with that idea, 

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Idea of like, well, if things 
are really that bad, there's 

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always this option. 
I would like nip that thought 

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that urge that idea in the but 
immediately and I would say no, 

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my life worth living does not 
include having suicide as a 

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plan, B, as a back burner as a 
second option. 

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That's not the life I want to 
live. 

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That's not the life, I'm living.
So no, even in the worst case 

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scenario, even if this is 
incredibly challenging and 

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embarrassing, and overwhelming, 
and difficult and stressful, I'm

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going to cope with that, and 
it's going to be okay, and I 

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will get to the other side and 
there. 

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No plan, B, worst case scenario,
second option that I will engage

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in and it took a long time. 
It took months for those 

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thoughts to start going away, 
but every single time I would 

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have them, I would, in my mind 
re convince myself that I've 

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made this commitment, I made 
this decision and that actually 

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wasn't an option and we're going
to get into like how suicidal 

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ideation. 
I like to think of it as a habit

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rather than just an urge or an 
intrusive thought and why it 

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takes so long to rewire. but, 
With time, with continuing to 

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stick to my decision. 
My commitment, I made to myself,

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those thoughts, slowly started 
to go away. 

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And I want to remind you that 
this wasn't an overnight thing. 

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I can pinpoint this moment. 
This therapy session as a shift,

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but it took many months after 
that to get to the point where I

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wouldn't have a suicidal 
thought, passive or active for 

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months years at a time. 
And if there is anything in my 

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treatment Journey, that was like
a progressive. 

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Trajectory it was that it was 
that commitment to no longer 

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feeling suicidal because I just 
kept reaffirming that 

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commitment. 
I just kept reminding myself 

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that this is what my life worth 
living is. 

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And this suicidal ideation 
doesn't fit in with that. 

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And so, I'm going to let that go
and just continuing with time to

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rewire that habit Behavior, 
thought urge, I really did see a

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difference so that is kind of my
story, very boiled down. 

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Again, we're staying away from 
Graphics, that's not going to be

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helpful to you. 
Ooh, you? 

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Because of our stories are all 
different, but that commitment, 

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I think is helpful to share 
because I think that is 

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something that a lot of people 
can relate to, and that I think 

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is common on a lot of people's 
Journeys, and it was such a 

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light bulb moment in my therapy 
journey through East. 

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Another thing that I want to 
touch on, when I mentioned, 

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seeing those small shifts to 
give a little bit more clarity 

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there. 
The small shifts, that allowed 

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me to feel hope towards the 
light at the end of the tunnel, 

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the life worth living, the 
feeling happy feeling. 

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Okay, not, Depressed, some of 
those examples in the early days

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was not waking up immediately. 
Depressed like baby five minutes

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after I got up. 
I was like, oh don't feel great 

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today but there was this amazing
shift from having 24 hours a day

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feeling like numb and hopeless 
and overwhelmed to waking up in 

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the morning and not immediately 
feeling terrible. 

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So that was one thing. 
I remember being something that 

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brought me a lot of Hope using 
skills effectively, you guys 

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know, I love coping skills, but 
getting better at being able to 

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navigate emotions getting Better
at being able to advocate for 

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myself or be vulnerable or 
tolerate distress was something 

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that also brought a lot of Hope 
because it meant that down the 

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line. 
No matter what challenges. 

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I encountered, I could cope with
them and I would be okay. 

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And then the last thing that 
I'll mention and I'll go into 

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more depth on this later during 
our skills. 

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Education was putting off 
engaging in an urge for a given 

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period of time. 
This is one of the key skills, 

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not only in exposure therapy, 
which I've done an episode on 

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before. 
But Advocating suicidal ideation

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and just urges in general, no 
matter what urges you're 

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struggling with is making a 
commitment. 

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That's really small at the 
beginning. 

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It's like, okay, I am not going 
to engage in this suicidal 

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ideation for 30 seconds. 
I'm going to put off engaging in

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this for a minute or 5 minutes 
or 10 minutes or an hour and 

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slowly but surely you make it 
through the night, you make it 

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through the day, you make it 
through the week. 

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So being able to sit with the 
discomfort being able to ride 

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the wave of the Earth. 
Urge for a day a week, a month 

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brought me a lot of Hope because
it was like okay I can navigate 

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this level of Challenge and it 
won't derail me. 

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It won't cause me immense stress
and overwhelm and things won't. 

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Implode I am capable of handling
life and these urges and not 

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allowing it to completely 
collapse. 

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00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:05,900
Everything around me, nothing's 
going to implode the world will 

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continue to spin Etc. 
So those are three things that 

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brought me a lot of hope, 
they'll probably Different for 

253
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,300
you. 
But getting clearer and what 

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those things are, whether you 
write them down on a list, maybe

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00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:21,300
they're always front of mind is 
really helpful, and giving you a

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00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:25,300
destination that you're working 
towards and being able to stay 

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00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:29,800
true to that commitment. 
And all of those things, I feel 

258
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like are pretty reasonable using
a scale, putting off an urge 

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00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,900
having a moment throughout the 
day. 

260
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When you feel a little bit more,
okay, than you normally do. 

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None of those are insane. 
Like, oh, I'm gonna run. 

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00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,400
Run a marathon and that'll give 
me hope because I can do 

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00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:49,900
anything like know your, it's 
baby steps, baby goals and those

264
00:13:49,900 --> 00:13:53,500
brought me a lot of hope. 
So the next thing that I want to

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touch on is some little things 
that I've learned during my 

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00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,600
time, at Penn, in my psychology 
classes that I think are helpful

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to keep in mind, if you're 
struggling with suicidal, 

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ideation, they put things in 
perspective. 

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They remind you that the 
thoughts going through your 

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head, aren't always true. 
It's the first, is that as human

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beings. 
So we are really flawed in our 

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ability to predict how things 
pan out and you're probably like

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00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:20,200
a course we are, we can't 
predict the future, but when you

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00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:24,800
ask people in 10 years, how 
important will this test? 

275
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,100
Be? 
How important will this 

276
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:27,500
relationship? 
Be to me? 

277
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:31,100
How much will I love this band 
that I'm obsessed with right 

278
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,600
now? 
People predict that it will be 

279
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:37,400
like a 100% correlation and 10 
years, this will still be my 

280
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:41,000
favorite band, this test 
directly impacted the job that 

281
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,500
I'm at now. 
This relationship was so 

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00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:45,900
pivotal. 
We're now married with kids Etc.

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00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:49,700
That is so not the case. 
When you follow people, ten 

284
00:14:49,700 --> 00:14:51,200
years down the line, and ask 
them. 

285
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,000
Oh, how was that test? 
What about that band? 

286
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,500
What happened to that 
relationship? 

287
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,700
People like what are you talking
about? 

288
00:14:57,700 --> 00:15:01,600
That is so irrelevant to my 
current place of functioning in 

289
00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,500
the life that I live. 
Whatever it is. 

290
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:08,200
The point is that we are really,
really bad at impacting how 

291
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,600
things will turn out. 
So, whatever stressors are 

292
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:13,800
currently consuming, you 
Whatever relationships are 

293
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,300
feeling difficult, whatever 
emotions are becoming 

294
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,100
overwhelming. 
It's important to remind 

295
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,700
yourself that when your brain 
tells you, this is going to be 

296
00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:24,700
so important in the future. 
This is night or day, it's life 

297
00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:26,800
and death. 
Everything is dependent on this.

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00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,900
I promise you, it's not and the 
science backs that up. 

299
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,900
The next thing is a piece of 
wisdom that came to light on the

300
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:36,000
podcast. 
I talk about this all the time, 

301
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,600
I'll link the episode in the 
show notes. 

302
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:40,600
It is an interview with dr. 
Blais a giri, who is one of my 

303
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,000
doctors at 3:00 Least things 
really come full circle. 

304
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,000
But the idea is that life is 
impermanent and that 

305
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,900
impermanence will be on your 
side. 

306
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,100
Nothing lasts forever. 
At least, at the same level of 

307
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:55,700
consistency. 
They, that's an emotion of 

308
00:15:55,700 --> 00:16:00,200
thought and urge relationship. 
A behavior things are constantly

309
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:04,600
fluctuating and changing and 
that is true for suicidal, 

310
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,500
ideation. 
That is true for the emotions 

311
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,900
that can lead to that the things
in your life. 

312
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:12,600
And so, when you are having a 
really rough day, Really rough 

313
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,600
thought a really rough urge 
notice how the intensity of it 

314
00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,300
increases and decreases and I 
still to this day. 

315
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,700
When I'm having a tough emotion,
a tough day, a tough moment, I 

316
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,300
remind myself this will pass 
because by the laws of the 

317
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:29,800
universe nothing is permanent 
and this emotion thought urge 

318
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:33,800
relationship, Dynamic will pass 
too because that can last 

319
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,100
forever. 
And so that's something like a 

320
00:16:37,108 --> 00:16:38,900
little Mantra that gives me a 
lot of Hope. 

321
00:16:38,900 --> 00:16:42,700
And then the last thing that I 
want to touch on That I've kind 

322
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:47,900
of been toying around with this 
idea recently is that suicidal 

323
00:16:47,900 --> 00:16:52,400
ideation can be so difficult to 
quit, if we can use that term 

324
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,900
because I feel like the way that
I've always thought about 

325
00:16:56,000 --> 00:17:01,200
suicidal ideation is through the
OCD model, you have an intrusive

326
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,700
thought, it then, causes all 
these emotions, it's like a 

327
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,900
spiral effect that leads to 
these behaviors and maybe 

328
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:10,700
impacts your relationships. 
But I found it a lot more 

329
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:15,300
accurate and effective to think 
about it as a bit of a habit, 

330
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,700
but also a self-soothing 
mechanism. 

331
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:24,000
Because for me, when I had a 
difficult day month, emotion, 

332
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,900
urge thought, all of these 
things, that would trigger these

333
00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:31,500
thoughts. 
Having this back burner idea was

334
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:34,000
really calming to me, it was 
really soothing to me. 

335
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:38,800
It was well, all goes to hell, 
there's always this Escape 

336
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,200
patch, there's always this plan,
B, there's always this way to 

337
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,800
not have to feel this terrible. 
So every single time I would 

338
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:51,000
engage in a suicidal ideation, I
would be decreasing, my 

339
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,100
emotional intensity. 
It was like calming, it was 

340
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:57,200
self-soothing, it was making me 
feel better, so what makes it so

341
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,000
difficult to recover? 
Quit these thoughts and urges is

342
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,200
that they're not only 
intrusively entering your mind. 

343
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,300
But you have trained yourself to
utilize these thoughts as a way 

344
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:13,200
to soothe your emotions and it's
become a coping skill. 

345
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:18,100
And so when you are trying to 
quit these thoughts or urges, 

346
00:18:18,500 --> 00:18:22,100
you not only have to learn to 
say no that's that's actually 

347
00:18:22,100 --> 00:18:24,000
not true. 
I don't like that but you have 

348
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:27,400
to replace the coping mechanism.
You have to find a new way to 

349
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,300
deal with the emotions. 
That arise that you would 

350
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,500
previously soothe with thought, 
if that makes sense. 

351
00:18:33,508 --> 00:18:38,200
So there's a lot of different 
ways you could go about that. 

352
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,200
I really like the book Atomic 
habits, which is just about 

353
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,400
habit, making and breaking, and 
it talks a lot about the science

354
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,300
behind it. 
When it's easier to make a 

355
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:47,800
habit. 
When it's easier to break a 

356
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,900
habit, it talks about like habit
stacking, you could apply this 

357
00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:53,400
to anything. 
Whether it's your morning 

358
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:57,100
routine or trying to work out 
more anything and everything. 

359
00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,500
But I think this has a really 
interesting Testing application 

360
00:18:59,500 --> 00:19:03,800
to suicidal ideation because you
can think about every time you 

361
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:08,600
engage in a suicidal thought as 
reinforcing that habit and 

362
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,600
making it stronger increasing, 
that neural pathway. 

363
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,100
Whereas when you do that, 
rewiring that I just touched on 

364
00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:18,000
for like, no, you know, actually
this isn't in my life worth 

365
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,400
living and I don't agree with 
that. 

366
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,700
And this is not something that I
want to entertain. 

367
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,200
You are not only breaking that 
initial habit, but you're 

368
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,300
building a new habit and so 
that's another way. 

369
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:33,200
Way, that kind of helped me was 
to, like, add some tallies to 

370
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,400
the side of making the new 
habit, and take some way from 

371
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,200
this side. 
And it felt like I was making 

372
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,800
progress in the right direction 
if that makes sense. 

373
00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,600
Today's episode is brought to 
you by teen counseling. 

374
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,800
If you are struggling with 
suicidal ideation and not 

375
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,000
already utilizing a mental 
health, professional as a 

376
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,200
resource. 
I highly recommend, checking out

377
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,100
therapy and one way to do that, 
is teen counseling teen 

378
00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,000
counseling is better. 
Branch of their company 

379
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,400
specifically for teens, they 
have over 14,000 licensed 

380
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:05,700
therapist in your network that 
can help you with a whole host 

381
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,600
of topics. 
Whether it's anxiety or 

382
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,500
depression or suicidal, ideation
or stress relationships. 

383
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,200
You name it. 
They can help support you. 

384
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,100
What you're going to do is go to
teen counseling.com, says she 

385
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,600
persisted, you fill out a survey
about what you're hoping to work

386
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,800
on your match with the therapist
that specializes in that area? 

387
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,000
And then you can start working 
with them. 

388
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:28,800
Via talk text or video 
counseling depending On what 

389
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,900
level of support you are looking
for super fast turnaround, you 

390
00:20:31,908 --> 00:20:34,200
don't have to deal with long 
wait lists or trying to get 

391
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,800
referred by your pediatrician or
a local provider. 

392
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,600
It is a great solution and 
hugely effective. 

393
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,100
I mean, therapy changed my life.
It saved my life as we talked 

394
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:46,800
about in this episode. 
And so I highly recommend giving

395
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,400
that a shot, if you haven't 
already. 

396
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,800
And one way to do that, is teen 
counseling. 

397
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:56,000
So again, teen counseling.com 
says, she persisted to try to 

398
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:00,600
check it out today. 
So That is the things to keep in

399
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:02,900
mind section. 
We're now going to talk about 

400
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:05,000
crisis management. 
And then, after this, we're 

401
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,900
going to talk about long-term, 
decreasing suicidal ideation and

402
00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,800
building your life worth living.
So, a lot of dealing with 

403
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,600
suicidal ideation and suicidal 
urges is the crisis management. 

404
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,600
It's the moment when you're 
having the surge, when you're 

405
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,900
having this thought and it's 
tolerating the distress. 

406
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,900
In that moment, an important 
caveat to add. 

407
00:21:24,900 --> 00:21:28,300
Before I give you these skills 
is that distress tolerance. 

408
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,100
Gil's. 
Only stay effective. 

409
00:21:30,100 --> 00:21:32,800
If we only use them in moments 
of extreme distress. 

410
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:35,700
The more, we use these skills, 
the less effective they are. 

411
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:38,800
And a good example of this is 
like your comfort TV show. 

412
00:21:38,900 --> 00:21:41,900
Mine is the office. 
When I'm having a rough day or a

413
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:46,400
rough night or stressed from 
school, I'll put on the office, 

414
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,500
and it's so soothing and calming
and I love it and I laugh, but 

415
00:21:49,500 --> 00:21:53,900
if I watched the office 24 hours
a day, every single day week, it

416
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:56,100
wouldn't be calming be like 
background noise. 

417
00:21:56,100 --> 00:21:58,300
It be white noise. 
Maybe it would get even a 

418
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:01,800
Waiting to be reserved these 
scales, her when our emotions 

419
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:06,400
are really bad so that they can 
maintain their effectiveness and

420
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,300
help us when we really need it. 
So the first skill that I want 

421
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:12,800
to give you is the stop scale. 
This is from the distress 

422
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:16,600
tolerance module DBT, or 
dialectical behavioral therapy 

423
00:22:16,700 --> 00:22:19,200
and it is an acronym that stands
for stop. 

424
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,100
Take a step back, observe and 
proceed mindfully. 

425
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:26,100
Most of the time I think of the 
stop scale through the lens of 

426
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:29,900
anger or an argument, or maybe 
Sadness or anxiety, where? 

427
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:32,900
If you're super anxious about, 
something you would stop, you 

428
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,600
would leave the situation, you 
would work through that anxiety,

429
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,300
and then re-enter it. 
But I want you to think about it

430
00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:42,600
from the perspective of an urge.
So if you have a thought in your

431
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,300
mind, it's like an intrusive 
thought. 

432
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:48,300
You're like, wow, this is a 
suicidal ideation, that has just

433
00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,800
popped into my brain, and I'm 
feeling some distressed about 

434
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:55,100
that stop and take a step back 
from the urge, rather than 

435
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:57,800
entertaining it and listening to
those. 

436
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,600
It's and starting to feel the 
distress and going down that 

437
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:06,100
thought Rabbit Hole instead take
a step back from the urge and 

438
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,100
back. 
Okay, I just had this thought 

439
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:13,300
pass into my mind and I noticed 
that when I have this suicidal 

440
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:17,500
ideation, I then feel stressed, 
I feel anxious, maybe I feel 

441
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,500
hopeless, maybe I feel 
overwhelmed, maybe I feel angry,

442
00:23:21,700 --> 00:23:25,800
whatever emotions, observe, 
those and then decide how you 

443
00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,900
want to proceed. 
And if it was me, Me the way 

444
00:23:28,900 --> 00:23:31,300
that I would proceed as doing 
that thought rewiring which we 

445
00:23:31,308 --> 00:23:35,500
just touched on. 
So I would say, you know, at one

446
00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:39,000
point it was really effective 
for me to cope with what I was 

447
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,000
experiencing by entertaining 
these suicidal ideations. 

448
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,500
But now I know that being 
suicidal and entertaining 

449
00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:48,700
suicidal ideations isn't within 
my life worth living. 

450
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:51,700
That's not the life that I want 
to live and I have so much hope 

451
00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:54,800
for my future and I want to be 
around for that. 

452
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,300
And I know that, no matter what 
I challenge is, are Own at me, I

453
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:04,600
can navigate them effectively. 
And for that reason, I am 

454
00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:07,000
choosing not to engage in the 
suicidal ideation. 

455
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:09,800
And I actually want to be here, 
and I want to continue to live 

456
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,700
life and see this challenge 
through to the other side. 

457
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:16,400
Whatever that looks like for 
you, and you proceed mindfully, 

458
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,300
you continue on with your life. 
So kind of rethinking about the 

459
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:24,800
way thoughts happen. 
There are not happening to you, 

460
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:28,200
you kind of have the decision to
engage in them to go down that. 

461
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:31,600
That rabbit hole spiral or you 
can kind of like nip them in the

462
00:24:31,608 --> 00:24:35,400
butt and rewire them the next 
skill that I want to mention is 

463
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,700
the ride, the wave skill. 
This was probably the most 

464
00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:41,300
relevant skill for me when I was
struggling with suicidal 

465
00:24:41,300 --> 00:24:44,500
ideation, and this skill is 
really simple. 

466
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,900
The idea is that everything is 
impermanent, it comes in waves, 

467
00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:52,800
with that's an emotion, I use 
the skill and I get headaches 

468
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:56,700
because the intensity of the 
headache will give and take like

469
00:24:56,700 --> 00:25:00,400
it'll it'll be Tense and it will
gradually decrease. 

470
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:04,500
And I kind of like wait for 
those moments of decreased pain 

471
00:25:04,700 --> 00:25:06,900
because I'm like, okay headache 
is going to go away. 

472
00:25:06,900 --> 00:25:10,400
It's going to be fine, but the 
idea is that you experience your

473
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,400
emotion or your urge or your 
thought as a wave. 

474
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:16,500
So it's coming and it's going, 
you're not trying to get rid of 

475
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:17,600
it. 
You're not trying to push it 

476
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,500
away but you're just 
experiencing as it comes and 

477
00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,600
goes. 
You're not blocking it, you're 

478
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:26,200
not suppressing, it, you're not 
necessarily trying to keep it 

479
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,600
around or entertain the idea. 
You're not holding on to it, 

480
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,200
you're not amplifying, it, 
you're simply just letting it 

481
00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:36,900
happen and the great thing about
this is that you can really hold

482
00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:39,700
on to those moments where it's 
less intense, when these urges 

483
00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:44,600
feel so scary, and overwhelming,
and a lot to deal with and 

484
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:48,200
handle, you can hold onto those 
moments that they, they go away 

485
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,600
and that they're less present, 
and they're less intense. 

486
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,600
And you can remind yourself that
that lower intensity will 

487
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:59,300
return. 
The next skill is a Each one and

488
00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:02,600
that is distraction, when you're
having this really intense. 

489
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,600
Urges distraction is one of the 
greatest things that you can do 

490
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,100
to get yourself out of your 
head. 

491
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:09,900
Just stopped engaging with these
thoughts. 

492
00:26:09,900 --> 00:26:13,100
Emotions and urges. 
So distraction is pretty 

493
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:15,800
straightforward. 
There are two acronyms in DBT 

494
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,100
that are used to kind of break 
down the distraction skill. 

495
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,700
And I'm not going to go into a 
crazy amount of detail here 

496
00:26:21,700 --> 00:26:24,900
because I'm sure you guys know 
how to distract yourself, but in

497
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:27,600
DBT the way that they break it 
down the except skills 

498
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:30,100
activities. 
He's contributing comparisons, 

499
00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:33,300
emotions, pushing away, thoughts
and Sensations. 

500
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:37,400
So, engage in an activity, help 
someone else compare. 

501
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,800
What you're currently feeling 
with what you've previously felt

502
00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:43,000
like, we just talked about with 
those urges generate a different

503
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,900
emotion. 
Maybe you watch a funny TV show.

504
00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:47,700
Maybe you watch scary horror 
movie, you invoke a different 

505
00:26:47,700 --> 00:26:51,500
emotion than what you're 
currently feeling you push away.

506
00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:54,800
This doesn't mean that we're 
avoiding all of our emotions and

507
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,800
thoughts together. 
But you're like, you know what, 

508
00:26:57,100 --> 00:26:58,200
I'm not going to think about 
this. 

509
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:01,000
Now we're, I'm not going to 
entertain the thought right now,

510
00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,900
going to put it on a shelf and 
we're going to come back to it 

511
00:27:02,900 --> 00:27:05,700
later when I have more emotional
capacity to cope with it. 

512
00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:10,500
Thoughts, you are again. 
Rewiring those thought patterns 

513
00:27:10,500 --> 00:27:13,800
like we talked about and then 
sensation, so self-soothing. 

514
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,200
Using the five senses to calm 
yourself. 

515
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,700
So listening to music, drinking 
a smoothie, smelling a nice 

516
00:27:19,700 --> 00:27:24,000
candle watching, a funny TV show
heading a dog, using those five 

517
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,400
senses to calm yourself and then
the improve skill. 

518
00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:31,500
Is using imagery. 
Meaning, prayer, relaxation, one

519
00:27:31,500 --> 00:27:34,500
thing at a time, vacation and 
encouragement. 

520
00:27:34,900 --> 00:27:38,800
So, with the improve skill, you 
are using imagery to calm 

521
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,500
yourself. 
So, maybe you imagine yourself 

522
00:27:40,500 --> 00:27:43,700
in your happy place, maybe you. 
Imagine yourself getting to the 

523
00:27:43,700 --> 00:27:45,900
other side of this urgent 
feeling, okay? 

524
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,500
With meaning, you are finding 
meaning on what you're 

525
00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:51,700
experiencing for me, this came 
after a while. 

526
00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,500
Like when I was in crisis mode, 
meaning wasn't a skill, I would 

527
00:27:54,500 --> 00:27:58,200
use. 
But once I had started to Ricci 

528
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:01,300
suicidal ideations and was like,
a couple months into this 

529
00:28:01,300 --> 00:28:03,400
process. 
And once I actually started the 

530
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,900
podcast, I was able to think 
about the suicidal ideations. 

531
00:28:07,900 --> 00:28:11,100
I'd struggled with and these 
urges and realize this has given

532
00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:16,000
me an really interesting and 
unique skill set to help other 

533
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,300
people and speak from experience
and share, what worked for me 

534
00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:23,900
and finding a purpose in that 
pain prayer. 

535
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:27,400
This kid either be, if you are 
religious you can either use a 

536
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,400
prayer. 
Or even just the repetition of 

537
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,300
having something to Think 
Through can be really effective 

538
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,800
relaxation, do things that relax
you again, you can use the self,

539
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,600
soothing five senses. 
One thing in the moment you are 

540
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,600
doing one thing, you are being 
mindful. 

541
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:44,400
So if you are, I don't know. 
Going to go back to drinking a 

542
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,000
smoothie. 
You are just focusing on the 

543
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,600
sensations, The Taste rather 
than also having your mind be 

544
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,900
somewhere else with an urge, and
being overwhelmed and watching 

545
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,200
TV show and having a 
conversation, you are just 

546
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,800
breaking it down to one thing. 
In the moment. 

547
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:03,000
And getting through that, one 
moment vacation, you are either 

548
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,600
physically or mentally taking a 
vacation from the emotional 

549
00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:08,000
distress. 
So you imagine, you're somewhere

550
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,500
else, maybe you take a walk, you
take a break from what you're 

551
00:29:10,500 --> 00:29:12,600
experiencing and then revisit it
again. 

552
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,100
Similar to the top, stop scale. 
And then encouragement, this is 

553
00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:17,600
like a little pep talk for 
yourself. 

554
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:20,800
You're like I will get through 
this, it will be okay this too 

555
00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:23,300
shall pass. 
This moment won't last forever 

556
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,000
Etc. 
We talked about self-soothing. 

557
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,400
The next thing is the pros and 
cons scale. 

558
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,000
This was another really big 
scale that I use when I was 

559
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,500
struggling with really big 
suicidal ideation. 

560
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:37,600
I remember doing a pros and cons
when I was in the hospital 

561
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,700
hospitalized for suicidal 
ideation. 

562
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,600
And the idea is that you pros 
and cons living, which, if 

563
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,400
you've never been depressed or 
never struggle for suicidal 

564
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,700
ideation, you're probably like, 
what on Earth are you talking 

565
00:29:48,700 --> 00:29:50,900
about? 
But if you are really struggling

566
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,700
and that is actually a decision 
that you are making it. 

567
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:59,200
Really effective to have a list 
and get really clear on all the 

568
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,700
reasons to stay here. 
All the reasons that you love 

569
00:30:01,700 --> 00:30:04,100
your life, all the things that 
you look forward to all the 

570
00:30:04,100 --> 00:30:07,100
reasons to stick around. 
And I would take this a step 

571
00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:11,100
further and any time that you 
feel something that brings you 

572
00:30:11,100 --> 00:30:12,900
Joy. 
Anytime you're like, wow, this 

573
00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:16,500
is pretty cool or I love this, 
write it down, whether it's in 

574
00:30:16,500 --> 00:30:18,900
your notes app, whether it's in 
a journal, whether it's on your 

575
00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,900
hand, anything and everything, 
have a running list. 

576
00:30:21,900 --> 00:30:24,600
So what you have an intense 
urge, you can go back to the 

577
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:27,400
List and say, these are all the 
reasons I want to be here. 

578
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,300
These are all the reasons I want
to stick around. 

579
00:30:29,300 --> 00:30:31,400
And these are all the reasons 
that I love life. 

580
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,000
And even though right now, it 
doesn't feel that way. 

581
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,100
There's a lot of reasons why 
this life is really beautiful 

582
00:30:37,100 --> 00:30:41,700
and amazing and why I want to 
continue to be here and you can 

583
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:45,400
also pull from that list as ways
to build your life worth living,

584
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:49,000
which we'll get to the next 
skill that I want to touch on, 

585
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,500
is your coat box. 
So, this is an idea that I 

586
00:30:52,508 --> 00:30:54,600
learned in DBT group where you 
make a box. 

587
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:57,100
Or like a little bag. 
If you go to school and you want

588
00:30:57,100 --> 00:31:00,000
to put it in your backpack, but 
it's all coping skills that you 

589
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:03,300
use in crisis. 
So, some things that I had in 

590
00:31:03,300 --> 00:31:07,500
mind was a printed out list of 
the hundred coping skills and 

591
00:31:07,500 --> 00:31:10,300
those are things like gonna walk
pet a dog like all these tiny 

592
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:12,700
coping skills that you can use, 
that might not immediately come 

593
00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:16,200
to mind a book that you like 
maybe headphones to remind you 

594
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:21,400
to listen to music. 
Another one is those little ice 

595
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,300
packs where you pop them and 
they get cold. 

596
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:27,100
So do you Using the tip scale by
putting ice under your eyes, to 

597
00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:31,400
decrease your physical emotional
intensity, maybe a piece of gum 

598
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:34,700
or a lollipop like a piece of 
candy, I would put notes in 

599
00:31:34,700 --> 00:31:38,100
there from family members, or 
friends, maybe a movie, like a 

600
00:31:38,100 --> 00:31:42,500
DVD, just reminders of how you 
can cope and be effective 

601
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,300
without having to think of all 
those things on top of trying to

602
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:49,100
cope with an emotion. 
And you can make a travel 

603
00:31:49,100 --> 00:31:51,600
version for your backpack and 
addition to like a bigger 

604
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,300
version in your room, but the 
idea here, And with the next 

605
00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:57,800
skill I'm going to mention is to
make things easy for yourself. 

606
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,100
When you're in crisis mode, you 
don't want to have to be trying 

607
00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:03,500
to figure out, how do I cope 
with a crisis and then 

608
00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:06,600
implementing your skills. 
You just want to implement and 

609
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,800
you want to make things really 
easy for yourself when you're 

610
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:11,100
struggling and you're more 
emotional, and you're not able 

611
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:13,000
to pull from that rational side 
of your brain. 

612
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,800
So the next thing is a crisis 
survival plan, and I will link 

613
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,800
this in the show notes. 
But what you do is you write 

614
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:22,400
down your warning signs. 
So what are the thoughts, 

615
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,100
feelings? 
Behaviors that come up, Up, when

616
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:28,000
you are triggered, when you're 
at in crisis mode, and this 

617
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,600
could be different for anxiety 
versus depression versus 

618
00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,800
suicidal ideation. 
But if we're doing this one for 

619
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:36,200
suicidal ideation, what urges 
come up, what thoughts come up, 

620
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:37,300
what? 
Emotions come up? 

621
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:39,000
What behaviors are you engaging 
in? 

622
00:32:40,100 --> 00:32:42,600
You're going to list out some 
people that you can reach out 

623
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,000
to. 
So that is going to be, maybe a 

624
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:49,000
friend, a family member, a 
parent, you are going to put 

625
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,800
their phone numbers there 
because you're making this 

626
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:54,600
really easy for yourself. 
You're going to also list some 

627
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,900
Crisis Professional Resources, 
maybe that's your therapist 

628
00:32:57,900 --> 00:32:59,800
phone number. 
Maybe that is your local 

629
00:32:59,800 --> 00:33:01,900
hotline? 
Maybe it's the crisis text line 

630
00:33:01,900 --> 00:33:07,500
which is text 741 741 and I 
think the word is home. 

631
00:33:07,500 --> 00:33:10,600
There's a lot of them, I'll put 
it in the show notes but what 

632
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,900
are the Professional Resources? 
You can utilize your also going 

633
00:33:13,900 --> 00:33:15,900
to include the coping skills you
can use. 

634
00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:17,900
So how can you distract yourself
list? 

635
00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:20,400
Your top three and maybe those 
are in your coat box. 

636
00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:25,400
Then you're going to list from 
past It's what helps you. 

637
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:28,000
When you feel this way is it 
taking a shower as it talking to

638
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,800
a friend? 
Is it watching a movie? 

639
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,900
You making this super, super 
easy for yourself. 

640
00:33:32,900 --> 00:33:35,900
And then the last thing to 
include here is ways to keep 

641
00:33:35,900 --> 00:33:40,400
yourself and your space safe. 
So maybe it's asking a parent to

642
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,900
remove things from your room. 
Maybe it is doing a sleepover 

643
00:33:43,900 --> 00:33:45,600
with the friends, you're not 
alone. 

644
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,900
I slept on my parents bedroom 
floor for six months because 

645
00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:52,800
that was what was necessary to 
keep myself and my space safe. 

646
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,300
Maybe it is Chloe. 
Teacher and/or, friends, we can 

647
00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:58,400
just keep an eye on you and 
check in. 

648
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:03,400
So all of those things are meant
to make your life easier when 

649
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:05,800
you're in crisis mode. 
So you don't have to plan and 

650
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,500
Implement we're just going to 
implement and we're going to do 

651
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:11,699
the work beforehand so that were
not double stressed. 

652
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:15,300
Okay. 
The last tip for crisis 

653
00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:19,900
management that we are going to 
give is to take things really 

654
00:34:19,900 --> 00:34:23,400
slow I touched on this but I 
want you to not think about how 

655
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:26,000
I'm going to get through tonight
when I'm I'm so deeply suicidal 

656
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,800
and having so many or just every
three seconds, but how I'm going

657
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,000
to get through, how am I going 
to get through the next 30 

658
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,400
seconds? 
And I'm going to do some deep 

659
00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,400
breathing. 
Am I going to get in the shower?

660
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,800
And I'm going to take a walk. 
Am I going to watch a TV show? 

661
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,100
Like literally just 30 seconds? 
Then you're going to say, how am

662
00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:41,600
I going to get through the next 
minute? 

663
00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:44,600
I'm going to get through the 
next five minutes and break it 

664
00:34:44,600 --> 00:34:48,500
down incrementally and just take
it minute-by-minute day-by-day. 

665
00:34:48,699 --> 00:34:51,900
Don't think about this long term
life worth living when you're in

666
00:34:51,900 --> 00:34:54,300
crisis mode? 
And then I know that I said that

667
00:34:54,300 --> 00:34:56,000
was the last Staying. 
But I've touched on this in the 

668
00:34:56,007 --> 00:35:01,000
crisis plan, but ask for help. 
What I the worst thing I think 

669
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,400
that people could come away from
this episode with this thinking 

670
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,400
that you need to do all these 
things by yourself. 

671
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:11,100
No, my hope is that you have so 
many people in your corner to 

672
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,200
give you ideas on how to cope to
be there to support you when 

673
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:17,500
you're at your lowest to check 
in on you to remind you that 

674
00:35:17,500 --> 00:35:19,700
they want you and love you in 
this world. 

675
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,100
So ask for help when you're in 
crisis that was probably my 

676
00:35:24,100 --> 00:35:27,400
number one skill was to call a 
therapist or a friend or a 

677
00:35:27,408 --> 00:35:30,800
parent and just have someone 
Around me ask for help. 

678
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,700
Is that phone coaching? 
Is that a helpline? 

679
00:35:32,700 --> 00:35:34,800
Is a texting? 
Is it just spending time with 

680
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,500
someone? 
Is it doing a movie night? 

681
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,300
Have people in your corner? 
I don't think anyone should be 

682
00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:42,100
expected to navigate to Saddle, 
ideation by themselves. 

683
00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:45,100
And if anything, I think being 
by yourself ads to those 

684
00:35:45,100 --> 00:35:48,600
feelings, so if there's one 
skill, I know, I said that stop 

685
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:50,800
skill was important and 
distraction and self-soothing, 

686
00:35:51,000 --> 00:35:54,700
but number one is ask for help 
again, no one should have to 

687
00:35:54,700 --> 00:35:57,100
deal with this alone. 
And so I think if there's 

688
00:35:57,100 --> 00:36:00,600
anything that you take away that
you implement And ask for help. 

689
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:02,900
Please. 
And my DMs are always open. 

690
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,800
I also forgot to mention that 
you ever are like, I literally 

691
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,900
have no one to talk to and I 
just don't know what skill to 

692
00:36:08,900 --> 00:36:10,500
use right now and I need 
support. 

693
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,500
Send me TM, I will do my very 
best to get back to you and be 

694
00:36:13,500 --> 00:36:16,900
there for you because anyone 
that has struggled with this 

695
00:36:16,900 --> 00:36:20,600
before I think would want to 
support someone on the other 

696
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,100
side of it and that's true for 
me. 

697
00:36:22,100 --> 00:36:26,300
So always here always here to 
support in any way that I can 

698
00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:29,800
Okay. 
Now we're going to talk about 

699
00:36:29,808 --> 00:36:32,800
long-term building, your life, 
worth living and decreasing 

700
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,900
these skills. 
Because crisis management skills

701
00:36:34,900 --> 00:36:36,100
are really helpful in the 
moment. 

702
00:36:36,100 --> 00:36:38,400
But like we talked about if you 
implement those all the time, 

703
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:42,900
they lose their effectiveness. 
So what do we do to decrease 

704
00:36:42,900 --> 00:36:46,600
suicidal, ideation over the next
week. 

705
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:47,800
Month. 
Three months. 

706
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,100
Six months Etc. 
The first thing that I want to 

707
00:36:51,107 --> 00:36:54,200
mention is getting really clear 
on your life worth living your 

708
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,200
life worth living. 
I've said that a lot of times 

709
00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,800
during this episode It is an 
idea that is a key pillar of 

710
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,200
DBT. 
You're working towards this life

711
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:07,100
worth living because the idea is
that if you are in your life 

712
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,700
worth living, you are no longer 
struggling with suicidal 

713
00:37:09,700 --> 00:37:11,900
ideation because your life is 
worth living. 

714
00:37:11,900 --> 00:37:16,200
So one of the first things that 
you do when you start DBT, as 

715
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,700
you get really clear on what 
that is and you get really clear

716
00:37:18,700 --> 00:37:21,500
on what you're working towards, 
what is your goal? 

717
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:23,200
And what does that life look 
like? 

718
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,800
How do you cope with your 
emotions? 

719
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,100
What is your support system look
like What is your daily routine 

720
00:37:28,100 --> 00:37:30,000
look? 
Like, do you can you actually 

721
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,700
engage in school and feel 
passionate about what you're 

722
00:37:33,700 --> 00:37:35,000
learning? 
Do you have healthy 

723
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,300
relationships? 
What are your hobbies? 

724
00:37:37,300 --> 00:37:39,500
How do you spend your free time,
Etc? 

725
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:42,200
Write that out. 
Maybe you draw a picture. 

726
00:37:42,500 --> 00:37:46,100
Maybe you put it in your notes 
app and you remind yourself 

727
00:37:46,100 --> 00:37:47,700
again. 
And again, and again, this is 

728
00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:52,500
what I'm working towards because
when you're abstractly kind of 

729
00:37:52,500 --> 00:37:54,800
pursuing this goal of getting 
better, it can be really 

730
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,000
discouraging. 
It can be It can cause you to 

731
00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,700
feel really hopeless, especially
if you don't identify 

732
00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:03,400
emotionally with that concept if
you're like, I don't remember 

733
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,100
what it feels like to be happy. 
So how can I possibly work 

734
00:38:06,100 --> 00:38:08,100
towards that goal? 
That was something I struggled 

735
00:38:08,100 --> 00:38:10,900
with so much. 
So we get really clear on what 

736
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:15,700
this life would look like if it 
was worth living and and start 

737
00:38:15,700 --> 00:38:20,100
making incremental steps towards
that point and when you do get 

738
00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:23,300
into that, that crisis mode, 
remind yourself. 

739
00:38:23,500 --> 00:38:26,800
This is the end goal. 
I'm I've already made so many 

740
00:38:26,900 --> 00:38:29,800
Oops, towards getting to that 
point and this is why I'm going 

741
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,700
to keep going. 
The next thing that I want to 

742
00:38:32,700 --> 00:38:37,300
mention here is routine. 
So routine is something that is 

743
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,500
really common across the board 
when it comes to mental health. 

744
00:38:40,500 --> 00:38:43,600
If you've ever been in a 
treatment program, they are 

745
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:45,900
really big on routine. 
It's like you get up at this 

746
00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:48,200
time, then you take your meds 
and then it's breakfast. 

747
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,300
And then we do this group 
therapy and don't forget, we 

748
00:38:50,300 --> 00:38:53,500
have this one, our room time and
that's the same, whether it's 

749
00:38:53,500 --> 00:38:56,500
like an outpatient and inpatient
a residential, therapeutic 

750
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:59,700
boarding Got their really big on
schedule and I'm sure there's 

751
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:01,800
logistical reasons for that with
Staffing. 

752
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,900
But routine is also shown to be 
really important for mental 

753
00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:07,700
health and have really positive 
impacts on mental health. 

754
00:39:07,700 --> 00:39:10,800
And I felt this firsthand, but 
the research also backs this up.

755
00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:14,800
So there's three reasons that I 
want to give you to implement a 

756
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,100
routine. 
The first is that decisions can 

757
00:39:17,100 --> 00:39:20,200
increase stress and when I, when
I wrote this out of my bullet 

758
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,900
points, I immediately thought of
Steve Jobs and his like black 

759
00:39:23,900 --> 00:39:26,800
turtleneck and he didn't want 
the stress of like or the mental

760
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:30,300
Expenditure of like, choosing an
outfit in the morning, so he's 

761
00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:31,600
just going to wear the same 
thing every day. 

762
00:39:31,600 --> 00:39:34,500
Like, that's not really what 
we're going for here, but trying

763
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:36,200
to decide in the morning, like, 
okay. 

764
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:40,700
Am I going to make eggs and 
bacon or cereal and get my 

765
00:39:40,700 --> 00:39:43,600
nutrients and when you're 
consumed with like stress and 

766
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,200
suicidal ideation and 
depression? 

767
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,800
That's a lot to add to your 
plate and end goal. 

768
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,300
There is just to get nutrients 
in your body so you're not more 

769
00:39:50,300 --> 00:39:53,700
emotionally vulnerable. 
So we can just decrease that 

770
00:39:53,700 --> 00:39:56,300
stress and take that out of the 
equation and have a routine that

771
00:39:56,300 --> 00:39:59,200
you stick. 
No, you're not, adding more fuel

772
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,000
to the fire and you're not 
adding more emotions when you're

773
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,200
probably already very 
emotionally, sensitive and 

774
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,600
reactive, and overwhelmed. 
The next reason I want to give 

775
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:11,600
you that routine. 
Is helpful is that many, many, 

776
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,300
many things in life, can't be 
controlled, whether that's other

777
00:40:14,300 --> 00:40:16,800
people's actions. 
Their beliefs of us a lot. 

778
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,600
Sometimes our schedules are 
commitments, our relationships 

779
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,100
so many things can't be 
controlled, but in many ways, 

780
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:26,700
your routine can and so because 
of this, if you can have it, 

781
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:30,800
Consistent routine that you 
stick to, you can Garner a sense

782
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,900
of calm, a sense of reliability 
stability. 

783
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:37,000
And this is a game changer when 
your emotions and your mental 

784
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:38,400
health. 
Don't provide that. 

785
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,900
So, for me, I have a really 
consistent routine that I stick 

786
00:40:41,900 --> 00:40:43,900
to, I get up. 
I wash my face, I brush my 

787
00:40:43,900 --> 00:40:45,600
teeth. 
I do my skincare, I do my 

788
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,400
makeup. 
If I'm wearing makeup that day, 

789
00:40:47,700 --> 00:40:49,200
I do my hair. 
I get dressed. 

790
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,400
I make my bed. 
I make my coffee which we look 

791
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,400
forward to every day and then 
from there it's kind of up in 

792
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,900
the air. 
Maybe I've class maybe I'm 

793
00:40:55,900 --> 00:40:59,000
working out, maybe Meeting a 
friend, maybe I was studying, 

794
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:03,100
not really sure what happens. 
But then at the end of the day, 

795
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:08,200
I come home, I shower I put on 
my skincare, do my hair put on 

796
00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:10,400
my lotion? 
I put on my pajamas, I watch TV 

797
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,800
show. 
I read before bed and that 

798
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,600
morning. 
And and those bookends at the 

799
00:41:14,607 --> 00:41:17,600
day or really consistent, all of
those things within the routine 

800
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:19,600
are really calming, they're 
really reinforcing. 

801
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,700
We bring me a lot of joy and I 
can count on them, they're very 

802
00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:25,800
grounding for me. 
So if you can have these little 

803
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,700
things in your life, They bring 
you that reliability, that 

804
00:41:28,700 --> 00:41:32,500
stability and that calm 
throughout your day. 

805
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:35,400
It can be a huge game changer 
with regards to your mental 

806
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:38,500
health. 
The last thing to add about 

807
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:42,100
routine is that it helps you 
stay on top of behaviors and 

808
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:45,000
habits that are really important
for your mental health, which 

809
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:46,700
will gradually improve your 
Baseline. 

810
00:41:46,700 --> 00:41:51,000
So DBT there's an acronym called
please which helps you decrease,

811
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,900
your emotional vulnerability by 
staying on top of your physical 

812
00:41:53,900 --> 00:41:55,900
health. 
So you are treating physical 

813
00:41:55,900 --> 00:41:59,400
illness your Eating balanced, 
you're avoiding mood-altering 

814
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:03,400
drugs, you're getting enough 
sleep and you are exercising in 

815
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,700
a balanced way. 
So you are decreasing potential 

816
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:10,300
stress and dysregulation that 
could come from, not eating 

817
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:13,300
enough from drinking too much 
coffee from skipping. 

818
00:42:13,300 --> 00:42:17,200
Taking your meds from not 
exercising, so you don't have 

819
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,900
any endorphins from being sick 
and being. 

820
00:42:19,900 --> 00:42:22,400
So, physically depleted, all of 
these little things that could 

821
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:25,600
make navigating emotional 
situations worse, you're trying 

822
00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:27,200
to avoid that from happening. 
Inning. 

823
00:42:28,100 --> 00:42:31,700
So for your routine, you're not 
only giving your senses yourself

824
00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:35,200
the sense of calm and stability.
But if you have a morning and 

825
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,700
night routine with what you're 
eating, so like in the morning, 

826
00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:40,600
you have your cup of coffee and 
you have these three nutrient 

827
00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:43,700
filled breakfast that you choose
from and after school, you come 

828
00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:46,500
home, then it's dinner time. 
And these are your four favorite

829
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:49,100
dinners that you choose from. 
Throughout the week, you are 

830
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:53,100
solving for being angry or 
emotionally overwhelmed from not

831
00:42:53,100 --> 00:42:56,400
getting enough food or nutrients
same thing. 

832
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,100
If you This consistent morning 
and night routine where you wake

833
00:42:59,100 --> 00:43:01,600
up at the same time every day 
you go to bed at the same time 

834
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,400
every day, you're solving for 
getting enough sleep and not 

835
00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:06,800
being emotionally overwhelmed 
from that. 

836
00:43:06,900 --> 00:43:10,100
Again, another example would be 
meds, maybe you're for me, my 

837
00:43:10,100 --> 00:43:13,300
Med time is at night and it's 
built into my routine so I never

838
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,700
miss it. 
And if I do miss it, I noticed 

839
00:43:15,700 --> 00:43:17,400
some like, something's missing 
something feels off. 

840
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,700
What did I forget to do? 
You are avoiding potential 

841
00:43:20,700 --> 00:43:23,600
emotional dysregulation, that 
could come from, not taking your

842
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:26,100
meds. 
So if you stay on top of your 

843
00:43:26,100 --> 00:43:31,000
routine, You are also staying on
top of behaviors and habits that

844
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,700
are important for your mental 
health and over time, that 

845
00:43:33,700 --> 00:43:36,400
improves your Baseline. 
If you want to get better about 

846
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:40,000
building habits Tomic habits, 
it's such a good book with, so 

847
00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,400
many applications to mental 
health, I highly recommend, and 

848
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,200
it's like a normal book. 
You've probably seen it all over

849
00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,400
Tick Tock. 
It's not like, very heavy and 

850
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:49,600
dark, and all these crazy 
things, it's just about building

851
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:52,000
habits and improving your 
routine, and it's a great 

852
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:54,100
resource. 
The next thing that I want to 

853
00:43:54,100 --> 00:43:56,200
want to talk about is emotion 
regulation. 

854
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,500
While the Stress tolerance. 
Skills are helpful in crisis. 

855
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,200
Emotion regulation is what will 
help? 

856
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,200
Decrease these suicidal 
ideations long-term. 

857
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,200
And so one skill that is really 
important. 

858
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:11,000
Here is accumulating positives. 
We just touched on this in your 

859
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,700
morning routine but having 
things, that improve your mood 

860
00:44:14,700 --> 00:44:20,700
and make you happy and make you 
joyful allows you to add to that

861
00:44:20,700 --> 00:44:22,500
Pros column that we talked 
about. 

862
00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:26,100
So if you are having a really 
bad urge and you are having a 

863
00:44:26,107 --> 00:44:28,600
thought we were Like I have 
nothing going for me, everything

864
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,500
sucks. 
You go back to that Pros. 

865
00:44:30,500 --> 00:44:32,500
Column you go back to these 
positives that you've 

866
00:44:32,500 --> 00:44:34,600
accumulated. 
And you say, you know what, I 

867
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:37,600
have, all of these things that 
make my life worth living and 

868
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:39,500
all of these things that make me
really happy. 

869
00:44:39,500 --> 00:44:42,600
So it's not true that I have 
nothing going for me, and 

870
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,100
nothing to look forward to. 
Because I have all of these 

871
00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:49,900
things that bring me joy and 
long-term accumulating positives

872
00:44:49,900 --> 00:44:54,400
in planning moments of joy, in 
decreases the distance between 

873
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,800
your highs and your lows and 
increases your Regulation, some 

874
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:01,300
other things that are important 
to implement but our heart 

875
00:45:01,300 --> 00:45:04,300
boiled down and tell you how to 
do on a podcast. 

876
00:45:04,300 --> 00:45:07,400
It's healthy relationships, 
having good communication with 

877
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,900
your loved ones and having 
people that care about you and 

878
00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:13,700
support you and want you to be 
okay therapy or treatment is 

879
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,700
really, really effective and 
helpful, especially dialectical 

880
00:45:16,700 --> 00:45:19,500
behavioral therapy when it comes
to suicidal ideation. 

881
00:45:19,500 --> 00:45:23,800
It's proven to decrease it and 
there's a lot of studies that 

882
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:27,800
back that up and so if you have 
Noticed, you're having these 

883
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:29,900
thoughts. 
Try and find a DBT, therapist 

884
00:45:29,900 --> 00:45:34,100
near you try and see if they can
help you decrease these emotions

885
00:45:34,100 --> 00:45:36,200
and feelings. 
In addition to trying these 

886
00:45:36,200 --> 00:45:40,100
coping skills, when you're in 
crisis mode, then the last thing

887
00:45:40,100 --> 00:45:42,200
is having structure and 
commitments. 

888
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,500
I think a really big thing that 
can be tied with suicidal 

889
00:45:46,500 --> 00:45:48,700
ideation. 
It's not having a sense of 

890
00:45:48,700 --> 00:45:51,100
purpose or somewhere to show up 
and get to, or I have to be at 

891
00:45:51,100 --> 00:45:53,800
class. 
I have to be at this meeting. 

892
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,600
Or I have worked to show up to 
so trying to build your route. 

893
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,500
In your scheduler, you have 
places to be and people to 

894
00:45:59,508 --> 00:46:01,400
interact with the things to look
forward. 

895
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,500
To can be really helpful and 
increasing that sense of hope. 

896
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,800
Today's episode is brought to 
you by Prime student. 

897
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:10,700
You guys know. 
I am a huge Amazon Prime Fant 

898
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,800
going along with last week's 
Trend, this week, I ordered 

899
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,500
myself some chip clips and they 
are cute colors. 

900
00:46:16,500 --> 00:46:20,700
I love them, I am obsessed. 
My grandmother also sent me a 

901
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:23,000
little contraption that makes a 
very loud noise. 

902
00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:24,800
In case, there is a safety 
issue. 

903
00:46:25,100 --> 00:46:29,100
So, those were my Amazon orders.
As we love Amazon Prime and you 

904
00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:32,500
are a college student, you can 
get Amazon Prime is student, 

905
00:46:32,500 --> 00:46:34,700
which is at no cost for the 
first six months. 

906
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:38,500
After the first six months, it 
is 50% off the normal price of 

907
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:41,400
Prime with Amazon. 
Prime, you get free shipping, 

908
00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:45,300
it's super fast shipping, like a
couple of days, turn around. 

909
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,800
And with prime student, you also
get access to LinkedIn, premium 

910
00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:53,300
GrubHub, plus course, hero 
student. 

911
00:46:53,300 --> 00:46:56,500
Universe discounts, a free calm 
premium. 

912
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,000
Option. 
And so many other Partnerships 

913
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,400
that have been created with 
students. 

914
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,800
In mind, it's an amazing deal. 
I'm obsessed. 

915
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,400
Again, use it on a weekly basis 
as you just heard. 

916
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:09,800
So if you would like to check 
out Prime student, you can go to

917
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,000
Prime student dotco. 
So join student again, that is 

918
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,100
prime student dot Cosa joint 
student, and you can order 

919
00:47:16,100 --> 00:47:18,800
Atomic habits, is what I 
recommended in this episode. 

920
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,400
The last section of this episode
is listener questions. 

921
00:47:23,400 --> 00:47:25,700
And there's a lot but I'm going 
to try and go through these 

922
00:47:25,700 --> 00:47:29,400
really quickly to try and touch 
on some topics that I didn't 

923
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:32,400
already mention. 
The first one is tips for 

924
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,400
feeling passively suicidal and 
how to deal with recurring 

925
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:37,300
thought that you want to die. 
But you know that you're not 

926
00:47:37,300 --> 00:47:40,000
actually going to hurt yourself 
because you can't hurt the 

927
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,800
people around you, so feeling 
suicidal without intent. 

928
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:46,700
So, this is called passive 
suicidal ideation. 

929
00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:49,200
Passive suicidal ideation is 
when you have thoughts of not 

930
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:53,000
wanting to, You live but you 
don't necessarily have intent or

931
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,800
a plan. 
And so the tips that I would 

932
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,600
give here is to start building 
your life worth living. 

933
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:03,600
It sounds like that life, that 
you're operating in and working 

934
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:05,800
through isn't one that feels 
worth living. 

935
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,300
If you like you have a need to 
show up for other people, or you

936
00:48:09,308 --> 00:48:13,600
feel like you should, you don't 
want to add that burden to other

937
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,900
people. 
So I would get curious on. 

938
00:48:15,900 --> 00:48:19,600
How can you adjust your life to 
make it feel more worth living? 

939
00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:21,800
And more enjoyable. 
And more hopeful is that 

940
00:48:21,800 --> 00:48:23,600
relationships, is that a 
routine? 

941
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,700
Is that a behavior? 
How do you feel navigating, the 

942
00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:29,200
challenges that come up? 
Is it, your coping skills? 

943
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,100
Is it the people in your corner,
Etc? 

944
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:37,300
So, kind of rethinking that and 
working towards that goal and 

945
00:48:37,300 --> 00:48:39,400
seeing, if those urges shift as 
well. 

946
00:48:39,700 --> 00:48:42,300
I would also say to anyone that 
are struggling with passive 

947
00:48:42,300 --> 00:48:45,000
suicidal ideation to start 
really working on your support 

948
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:47,000
system. 
I'm not saying that you're 

949
00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,500
suicidal, ideation will shift 
and develop and get Potentially,

950
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,800
but if that's something you 
already know you're struggling 

951
00:48:53,800 --> 00:48:55,900
with, you really want to make 
sure you have a good support 

952
00:48:55,900 --> 00:48:58,100
system so that if you ever need 
it which it sounds like you 

953
00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:00,900
probably do right now. 
Anyways you have that in place 

954
00:49:00,900 --> 00:49:03,900
and you have those people to 
lean on and you have those 

955
00:49:03,900 --> 00:49:07,400
people in your corner. 
The next question is advice on 

956
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,100
specific language to use when 
talking to your parents to tell 

957
00:49:10,100 --> 00:49:12,200
them that you're depressed and 
need help. 

958
00:49:12,300 --> 00:49:16,600
This depends on whether your 
parents maybe there's a lot of 

959
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:18,500
stigma on the way to think about
mental health. 

960
00:49:18,500 --> 00:49:22,500
Is it that they They think you 
should just be capable of 

961
00:49:22,500 --> 00:49:25,100
navigating this independently. 
Have they never felt that way 

962
00:49:25,100 --> 00:49:28,800
before I would go to your 
school, counselor or a or a 

963
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:32,100
local councillor potentially 
your pediatrician and have them 

964
00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:35,100
looped in on the conversation. 
Having an adult that's in like a

965
00:49:35,107 --> 00:49:39,200
kind of professional position to
also provide resources and say, 

966
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:42,200
hey, I think this could be 
helpful can be really powerful 

967
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:46,200
to convince a parent and I would
also another tip here is to make

968
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,200
an appointment, prepare your 
parents, okay? 

969
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:49,600
I want to talk to you about 
something really important. 

970
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:54,100
And one would work for you and 
also go into that conversation. 

971
00:49:54,100 --> 00:49:58,200
Not expecting to get a response 
immediately and maybe you go in.

972
00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:00,100
You make your ask, use it to 
your man. 

973
00:50:00,300 --> 00:50:03,000
You can Google that like a dear 
man DPT and it'll tell you 

974
00:50:03,000 --> 00:50:05,700
exactly how to make a request to
get your objective met. 

975
00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:09,200
I've mentioned in episodes 
before but go in make your 

976
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,400
request and give them time to 
think about it. 

977
00:50:12,200 --> 00:50:13,600
Next question, what are the 
steps? 

978
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,500
I should take if I'm concerned 
about a friend who might be 

979
00:50:15,500 --> 00:50:19,600
suicidal so as you will hear in 
next week's episode with Diaz 

980
00:50:19,700 --> 00:50:22,900
There's a lot of tips there. 
You could call 988, if you have 

981
00:50:22,900 --> 00:50:25,100
a friend or loved one that 
suicidal and you don't know how 

982
00:50:25,100 --> 00:50:27,200
to support them. 
So that is one thing I would 

983
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,100
definitely mention, I would say 
first, make sure that your own 

984
00:50:31,100 --> 00:50:34,000
mental health is okay, 
supporting someone that suicidal

985
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:38,500
is a really challenging and 
emotionally exhausting thing it 

986
00:50:38,500 --> 00:50:42,100
puts a lot of pressure on you. 
It's very overwhelming and it 

987
00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:46,400
can be very stressful. 
So I would make sure that you 

988
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:51,400
are in a good spot and you have 
the Capacity to support them. 

989
00:50:51,900 --> 00:50:55,600
And if not set boundaries and 
I'm not saying you leave them on

990
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,900
their own to navigate this 
independently but maybe you're 

991
00:50:57,900 --> 00:51:01,200
there is a safe space as someone
that they can spend time with 

992
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:05,300
and laugh with and you're always
there to spend quality time with

993
00:51:05,300 --> 00:51:08,900
them, but you're not the person 
that they like give such super 

994
00:51:08,900 --> 00:51:12,000
graphic details of the thoughts 
they're having like that's for 

995
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:13,700
their therapist. 
You're there to just have 

996
00:51:13,700 --> 00:51:15,900
quality time with and be a safe 
space. 

997
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:19,800
So depending on what level of 
emotional support you Can 

998
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:21,800
provide set those boundaries. 
Yeah. 

999
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,800
And, and try not to be 
judgmental. 

1000
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,300
Try not to problem-solve just be
there as a listener. 

1001
00:51:26,300 --> 00:51:29,100
As we talked about, in the 
episode, with Michael slept Yen,

1002
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:33,800
being vulnerable and sharing the
quote unquote secret, or just 

1003
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:36,400
being vulnerable about anything 
that you don't talk about 

1004
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:40,100
broadly, a lot of the times it 
goes a lot better than you think

1005
00:51:40,100 --> 00:51:41,700
it will. 
Even if it's like a subpar 

1006
00:51:41,700 --> 00:51:44,700
response from the other person. 
You see that as a positive 

1007
00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:46,500
experience, that's what the 
research shows. 

1008
00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:49,500
So even if you're just neutral 
and you're like, wow, that's 

1009
00:51:49,500 --> 00:51:51,200
really Difficult. 
I'm sorry you're feeling that 

1010
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,900
way. 
The other person will see that 

1011
00:51:52,900 --> 00:51:55,700
likely as supportive and helpful
and an overall positive 

1012
00:51:55,700 --> 00:51:57,100
experience. 
Next question, when does 

1013
00:51:57,100 --> 00:51:59,000
suicidal ideation become 
serious? 

1014
00:51:59,000 --> 00:52:01,800
So, like I mentioned, there's a 
difference between active and 

1015
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,700
passive, suicidal ideation, 
passive is thoughts without 

1016
00:52:04,700 --> 00:52:06,300
intent. 
May be something like, I don't 

1017
00:52:06,300 --> 00:52:08,300
really want to be alive or I 
hate life. 

1018
00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:10,800
I mean, that's not really sucks 
because I do ideation. 

1019
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:14,200
But, like, I just would rather 
not be here or things like that,

1020
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:18,000
whereas activist with intent, 
where's active is with a plan, 

1021
00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:22,600
it's kind of more fleshed out 
And then the second thing there 

1022
00:52:22,600 --> 00:52:25,800
is with, or without a plan. 
So is there a date as their time

1023
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,100
is their intent? 
And when you get into the with 

1024
00:52:28,100 --> 00:52:30,900
the plan with intent with, 
that's when you would want to 

1025
00:52:30,908 --> 00:52:34,600
call 911 call 988 when someone 
is really at risk of being a 

1026
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:38,600
harm to themselves and and they 
need more professional support 

1027
00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:43,300
than you can likely offer when 
they're in that passive Camp. 

1028
00:52:43,300 --> 00:52:45,900
It's difficult because you don't
want to see anyone suffering to 

1029
00:52:45,900 --> 00:52:48,200
the degree that they're feeling 
suicidal, or they don't want to 

1030
00:52:48,207 --> 00:52:50,800
be here. 
And There's also kind of that 

1031
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:54,000
acceptance of okay, even though 
this is so incredibly painful, 

1032
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,900
they're not necessarily a danger
to themselves right now. 

1033
00:52:57,100 --> 00:53:00,200
So this might be a long term 
something that shifts with lots 

1034
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,800
of time and effort in 
conversations and skills usage. 

1035
00:53:03,900 --> 00:53:06,600
But there's not that that quick 
fix, which is a difficult thing 

1036
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:11,200
to to Grapple with the next 
question is, how can family 

1037
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,100
members of someone with 
suicidality support them? 

1038
00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,800
So, again, you can call 988. 
If you're worried about the 

1039
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,400
person, especially if they're 
getting into that spectrum of 

1040
00:53:19,400 --> 00:53:24,600
being, I'm more active and with 
a plan the the key things here 

1041
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:28,100
are to be non-judgmental just to
kind of be there as a listening 

1042
00:53:28,100 --> 00:53:33,800
ear, create a safe space for 
them, make them feel okay and 

1043
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:36,000
comfortable coming to you and 
talking to you if they need 

1044
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:39,400
support avoid problem-solving. 
I think. 

1045
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:44,600
Most people, I mean like can you
even solve suicidal ideation? 

1046
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:47,800
Like, that's something that is 
really difficult to solve. 

1047
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,400
I suppose you could be like, 
well, like What does your life 

1048
00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:51,900
look like? 
Now, what do you want your life 

1049
00:53:51,900 --> 00:53:54,100
to look like? 
Let's make a 12-step plan to get

1050
00:53:54,100 --> 00:53:55,700
you there. 
Like, if I was suicidal, that 

1051
00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:59,300
would be hugely on helpful to me
because you're probably so 

1052
00:53:59,300 --> 00:54:01,000
emotionally exhausted and 
overwhelmed. 

1053
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:03,200
You just want someone to 
validate and support you and to 

1054
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:05,100
feel seen and feel loved and 
supported. 

1055
00:54:05,100 --> 00:54:08,100
So don't problem-solve, just be 
there for them, love them, 

1056
00:54:08,100 --> 00:54:09,800
support them. 
Tell them that you would miss 

1057
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,600
him if they weren't here and you
really value them as a person. 

1058
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,100
And again if you feel out of 
your wheelhouse, if you feel 

1059
00:54:15,100 --> 00:54:17,800
like you need help ask a 
professional. 

1060
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,700
So call 988, talk to your 
Pediatrician, talk to a 

1061
00:54:20,700 --> 00:54:22,600
therapist, talk to a school, 
counselor. 

1062
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,600
All of these people can give 
more information on how to 

1063
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:29,000
navigate this. 
The next question is, why was 

1064
00:54:29,000 --> 00:54:33,100
Thirteen Reasons Why? 
So problematic so, Thirteen 

1065
00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:34,600
Reasons. 
Why is a show? 

1066
00:54:34,600 --> 00:54:38,700
I have a lot of beef with. 
I've never watched it, but a 

1067
00:54:38,700 --> 00:54:43,300
study done in April 2017 by the 
National Institute of Mental 

1068
00:54:43,300 --> 00:54:46,700
Health showed that there was a 
28 point nine percent increase 

1069
00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:51,200
in suicide rates among youth 
aged 10 to 17 in the month, 

1070
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:56,400
following the show's release. 
I don't even know how to follow 

1071
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,200
that. 
Like any show that leads to a 

1072
00:54:58,207 --> 00:55:00,800
30% increase in adolescent 
suicides. 

1073
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,000
There's a huge red flag there 
and there's something's not, 

1074
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:06,400
right? 
And the way that we are 

1075
00:55:06,400 --> 00:55:10,500
portraying suicide on the media.
If there's a 30% increase that 

1076
00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:13,700
just feel so, not right. 
And so not, okay to me, and it's

1077
00:55:13,700 --> 00:55:16,700
so saddening and the National 
Institute of Mental Health. 

1078
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,500
Again, they say that it, it 
highlights a necessity of using 

1079
00:55:20,500 --> 00:55:22,600
best practices. 
When / trying suicide and 

1080
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,100
popular entertainment and again,
Cross-media. 

1081
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:32,200
It's just so so saddening and 
and so concerning and yeah, I 

1082
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,600
don't even know what to say. 
I'm at a loss for words because 

1083
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,100
it's just everything that causes
that much of an increase in teen

1084
00:55:38,100 --> 00:55:42,900
suicide is hugely problematic. 
Personally, like I said, I never

1085
00:55:42,900 --> 00:55:45,300
watched a show, that's a 
boundary I've set for myself 

1086
00:55:45,500 --> 00:55:48,500
because around the time that 
came out in 2017, I was 

1087
00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:52,500
suicidal, I was going through 
treatment and then I was just 

1088
00:55:52,500 --> 00:55:57,100
newly, not suicidal. 
So engaging with content that 

1089
00:55:57,100 --> 00:55:59,900
was wrapped that graphic and 
potentially triggering with 

1090
00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:02,300
something that I've had a 
feeling would not be good for my

1091
00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:05,100
mental health. 
So if you are someone listening,

1092
00:56:05,100 --> 00:56:07,500
and you haven't watched it or 
you're like, oh, like I don't 

1093
00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:09,100
know if that would be good for 
me to watch it. 

1094
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,800
Maybe that maybe set that 
boundary. 

1095
00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:13,700
Think about it. 
But, yeah, that's, that's the 

1096
00:56:13,700 --> 00:56:15,100
data there. 
If you're not familiar with 

1097
00:56:15,100 --> 00:56:16,800
that, it's heartbreaking, it's 
terrible. 

1098
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:21,300
And it's again shows why it's so
important to be intentional with

1099
00:56:21,300 --> 00:56:25,300
how we talk about suicide. 
And I hope that I've done that 

1100
00:56:25,300 --> 00:56:28,500
well or somewhat effectively in 
this episode, two questions, 

1101
00:56:28,500 --> 00:56:31,600
left one is what was the number 
one skill that helped? 

1102
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:36,200
You overcome suicidality, I 
touched on a couple riding the 

1103
00:56:36,200 --> 00:56:39,500
wave of urges with huge 
distraction really gets you 

1104
00:56:39,500 --> 00:56:42,600
through those moments. 
But asking for help and having 

1105
00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:45,900
it people in my corner that were
continuously, helping me move in

1106
00:56:45,900 --> 00:56:49,100
the right direction in therapy 
and treatment, and building my 

1107
00:56:49,100 --> 00:56:54,700
skills, usage, and continuing to
use that muscle of coping and 

1108
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,200
and working towards my life 
worth living was huge. 

1109
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,300
But I mean, consistency with 
those things was really what 

1110
00:57:00,300 --> 00:57:04,000
made a difference. 
The last question is how can 

1111
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:07,500
universities who have a suicide 
in their Community best respond?

1112
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:11,500
What programs should they fund? 
What support should they Etc to 

1113
00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,100
do their best to prevent future 
repeat incidents. 

1114
00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:17,700
This is a difficult because the 
data does show that when there 

1115
00:57:17,700 --> 00:57:21,200
is a teen suicide there can be 
repeat suicides or can be 

1116
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:25,000
triggering two other teens and 
talking about it and bring a lot

1117
00:57:25,000 --> 00:57:26,700
of attention to it and 
glamorizing. 

1118
00:57:26,700 --> 00:57:33,000
It can have negative impacts. 
I think, at a minimum having 

1119
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:38,300
extensive skills, education, and
resources, be very transparent. 

1120
00:57:38,300 --> 00:57:41,400
So emails, going out saying, if 
you are struggling With grief or

1121
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,400
you are struggling with suicidal
ideation or if you are 

1122
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,900
struggling with my stress this 
week because are the skills you 

1123
00:57:45,900 --> 00:57:48,100
can use use the people. 
You can call these are the 

1124
00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:53,100
resources currently available. 
I think getting really curious 

1125
00:57:53,100 --> 00:57:56,500
following such a tragedy on what
causes person to feel so 

1126
00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:58,800
overwhelmed and alone. 
And like this was the only 

1127
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:01,100
option was it relationships? 
Was it? 

1128
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:05,100
The amount of stress they were 
experiencing, was it unrelated 

1129
00:58:05,100 --> 00:58:09,200
to school, and like, whatever it
is getting curious and then 

1130
00:58:09,200 --> 00:58:13,700
trying to solve in the future is
Does that mean changing the way 

1131
00:58:13,700 --> 00:58:18,800
that teachers schedule exams and
tests to decrease a workload to 

1132
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,100
not cause that much overwhelmed 
does it mean providing more 

1133
00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:24,000
resources? 
So people feel that there is an 

1134
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:26,200
option or something that they 
can go to when they feel that 

1135
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:28,500
way. 
Yeah, I it's hard and there's 

1136
00:58:28,500 --> 00:58:33,600
not an easy answer and I had a 
conversation about this. 

1137
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:37,100
In one of the mental health 
clubs that pain last week and 

1138
00:58:37,600 --> 00:58:41,400
the students that had gone to 
the events, Put on by pain 

1139
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,500
following student, suicides 
weren't seen as very effective 

1140
00:58:44,500 --> 00:58:48,600
and very helpful and so it's 
hard, even if the best of 

1141
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:50,600
intentions are there, it's not 
always received. 

1142
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:55,100
Well, it's not always doesn't 
always land and so it's very 

1143
00:58:55,100 --> 00:58:58,700
difficult but I think skills 
education and resources and 

1144
00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:02,600
transparency of how you can get 
help if you need it is huge. 

1145
00:59:02,700 --> 00:59:05,300
And then looking at how you can 
change the culture of the 

1146
00:59:05,300 --> 00:59:08,400
University, if there were 
specific factors that led to 

1147
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:11,900
that are some good To take and 
getting curious talking to 

1148
00:59:11,908 --> 00:59:13,900
students talking to friends of 
that student. 

1149
00:59:13,900 --> 00:59:19,400
Talking to peers family members,
and trying to not have any other

1150
00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:21,300
students. 
And that position, the future is

1151
00:59:21,300 --> 00:59:25,700
a good place to start. 
So that was a lot, a very heavy 

1152
00:59:25,700 --> 00:59:28,500
episode, but I hope it was 
helpful. 

1153
00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:31,000
And I hope that you can come 
away with this with some really 

1154
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:34,900
tangible ways. 
You can support someone or you 

1155
00:59:34,900 --> 00:59:38,500
yourself cope with these 
emotions and urges if they arise

1156
00:59:39,500 --> 00:59:43,500
Hopefully they never do again. 
The best-case scenario is that 

1157
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:46,500
you never have to apply anything
in this episode that you just 

1158
00:59:46,500 --> 00:59:49,100
listen to or that you are never 
familiar with any of this. 

1159
00:59:49,100 --> 00:59:53,700
That would be amazing. 
And we live in a world where 

1160
00:59:53,700 --> 00:59:57,400
many people, struggle and many 
people in our lives, struggle. 

1161
00:59:57,400 --> 01:00:02,300
And I would rather us be 
prepared and feel capable to 

1162
01:00:02,300 --> 01:00:04,700
support them. 
Then to be at a loss of like, I 

1163
01:00:04,700 --> 01:00:07,100
don't even know how to help this
person and I'm just so 

1164
01:00:07,100 --> 01:00:10,100
overwhelmed. 
So I hope this was helpful. 

1165
01:00:10,700 --> 01:00:14,800
As always, if you found this 
episode to be supportive and 

1166
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:17,900
informational and helpful share 
with a friend or a family 

1167
01:00:17,900 --> 01:00:20,000
member. 
If you have any questions or any

1168
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,600
thoughts after this episode. 
Be sure to DM me. 

1169
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:24,900
I would love to hear how it 
resonated or if there's 

1170
01:00:24,900 --> 01:00:27,200
something you wish was set 
differently. 

1171
01:00:27,200 --> 01:00:29,700
Or if there was something that 
wasn't effective, that it's 

1172
01:00:29,700 --> 01:00:33,900
really helpful feedback for me. 
And yeah, April include a ton of

1173
01:00:33,900 --> 01:00:38,600
resources in the show notes 
about hotlines and suicide. 

1174
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:42,300
Prevention, educational 
resources and awareness and 

1175
01:00:42,300 --> 01:00:46,900
companies that are doing 
amazing, things to help 

1176
01:00:46,900 --> 01:00:49,500
individuals that are struggling 
with suicidal ideation. 

1177
01:00:50,100 --> 01:00:54,000
And so, yeah, that that's it. 
Thank you for listening. 

1178
01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,700
I'll see you next week for an 
amazing part, two of the series,

1179
01:00:56,700 --> 01:00:59,800
with the DIA where we talk about
what happens when you call a 

1180
01:00:59,800 --> 01:01:02,700
hotline. 
What, to expect some resources 

1181
01:01:03,500 --> 01:01:06,600
that she recommends, what she 
tells people, when they call a 

1182
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,100
hotline system skills that you 
can implement That they would 

1183
01:01:09,100 --> 01:01:13,500
recommend and just generally 
within the suicide prevention 

1184
01:01:13,500 --> 01:01:15,400
industry. 
What is happening where she 

1185
01:01:15,400 --> 01:01:19,100
hopes that? 
Where she sees that going? 

1186
01:01:19,100 --> 01:01:24,500
How we as a society can improve 
the suicide prevention work. 

1187
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:27,000
Thank you for listening or 
watching. 

1188
01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:31,600
I really appreciate all you guys
and yeah I'll see you next week.

1189
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:34,900
Thank you so much for listening 
to this week's episode of she 

1190
01:01:34,900 --> 01:01:36,700
persisted. 
If you enjoyed make sure to 

1191
01:01:36,700 --> 01:01:40,100
share with a friend or family 
member it Helps out the podcast 

1192
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:43,200
and if you haven't already leave
a review on Apple podcasts or 

1193
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:46,400
Spotify, you can also make sure 
to follow along at at she 

1194
01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:49,300
persisted podcast on both 
Instagram and Tick-Tock and 

1195
01:01:49,300 --> 01:01:51,700
check out all the bonus 
resources content and 

1196
01:01:51,700 --> 01:01:55,200
information on my website. 
She persisted podcast.com, 

1197
01:01:55,700 --> 01:01:58,200
thanks for supporting, keep 
persisting and I'll see you next

1198
01:01:58,200 --> 01:01:58,700
week.