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Welcome to, she persisted, I'm 
your host CD son. 

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Every Friday. 
I post interviews about mental 

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health, dialectical behavioral 
therapy and Teenage life. 

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These episodes break down my 
mental health Journey. 

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Teach skills to help you cope 
with life and showcase 

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testimonials from individuals, 
including teens, just like you. 

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Whether you've struggled 
yourself or just want to improve

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your mental Fitness, this 
podcast is your inspiration to 

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live a life you love and keep 
persisting this week on she 

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persisted I just feel like you 
shouldn't have to wait till 

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you're older. 
To develop leader or ship skills

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and to develop and to learn how 
to lead be a leader in your own 

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life. 
That's like this idea of like 

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being the CEO of your own. 
Life is very important to me to 

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teach because I think young 
people sit a little passive and 

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think that life is just 
happening to them and they're 

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being like forced to go to 
school and I have to do this may

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have to that but that's a very 
that's a very low. 

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Vibration way to be in the world
if you think that like your day 

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is full of things, I like you 
have to do and You don't have a 

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lot of choice, so I try to show 
them the shift of, like, taking 

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the ownership showing that you 
have a lot of chances to, to 

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advocate for yourself to lead to
be in the driver's seat of your 

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own life. 
This week's DBT skill is the 

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radical acceptance skill. 
When I think of becoming the CEO

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of your life, the DBT the skill 
that comes to mind is radical 

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acceptance. 
It is definitely not an easy 

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skill to master, but it is so 
profound. 

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And it's really at the core of 
dialectical behavioral therapy, 

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and it's one of my favorite 
skills. 

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So what is radical acceptance? 
Radical means all the way. 

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Completely, totally 100%. 
It's accepting with your mind, 

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your heart and your body. 
It's when you stop fighting 

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reality, it's when you let go of
those negative emotions 

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surrounding something, not going
the way you want it to and you 

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let go of bitterness. 
When things do not go your way. 

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So what are you accepting? 
You are accepting reality as it 

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is which is the facts about the 
past and the present, even if 

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you don't necessarily like them,
you Are accepting that there are

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limitations on the future for 
everyone, but you only need to 

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accept the realistic 
limitations. 

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You're accepting that everything
has a cause, including events 

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and situations that cause pain 
and suffering. 

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And lastly, that life can be 
worth living even with painful 

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events in it. 
So why do we accept reality? 

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The first reason is that 
rejecting reality doesn't change

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reality. 
It really just causes more pain 

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and more suffering to fight 
against that. 

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The second reason is that 
changing reality requires first 

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accepting that reality is as it 
is. 

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And then what steps you can take
to shift. 

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That the third thing is that 
pain can't be avoided. 

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It's a Nature's Way of signaling
to us that something's wrong. 

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Something's out of alignment. 
So denying that that pain is, 

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there isn't going to get us 
anywhere and that leads right 

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into the fourth reason which is 
that rejecting reality can turn 

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pain into suffering. 
So to kind of make that 

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distinction pain is not 
avoidable, but suffering is and 

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rejecting reality turns that 
paint into. 

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To separate the fifth reason is 
that refusing to accept reality 

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can keep you stuck in 
unhappiness, bitterness anger 

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sadness, shame and other 
painful. 

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Emotions sixth acceptance may 
lead to sadness, but in most 

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cases a deep calmness follows. 
And lastly the way past what 

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you're struggling with is 
through there's no around 

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there's no like side to shortcut
that we're going to take and so 

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when you refuse to accept that 
struggle and misery is involved 

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in taking that path through 
you're just going backwards and 

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your Staying in the struggle. 
So again radical acceptance, 

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complete 100% acceptance of 
reality. 

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It's kind of like a peaceful 
openness of like I might not 

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like this, but this is what it 
is, and that's okay. 

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And then you're able to move 
forward, you're able to get out 

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of those painful emotions and 
continue on with your life. 

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Hello, hello and welcome back to
she persisted. 

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I am so excited to have you here
today. 

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We have an amazing interview 
with Sarah hernholm. 

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She is the founder of wit. 
We will get more into that in a 

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moment but I realized last 
night, I woke up in the middle 

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of the night and I was like, 
wait a minute, it's Valentine's 

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Day. 
It marks four days to the date, 

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that I started my journey at 
McClain and my parents and I 

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flew across the country and it 
was really like a huge turning 

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point in my mental health 
Journey. 

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It was The beginning of the end 
of my suffering, it was. 

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When I first of the first time 
ever, in my entire life started 

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investing in myself trusting, 
others enough to help me wanting

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to get better and wanting a life
for myself, which was a huge 

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shift from where I was at. 
And so I started my journey at 

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McLain suicidally depressed 
struggling with self harm and 

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such dysfunctional relationships
and being so depressed. 

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So hopeless. 
So anxiety-ridden, just really 

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at my lowest of lows. 
Fourteen weeks later, I left. 

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And I was starting to build a 
life that I loved and that I 

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looked forward to and I was no 
longer plagued by this 

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depression and anxiety and 
suicidality. 

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And so it was four months of 
intense growth and it changed my

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life. 
It's saved my life. 

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If you are considering 
treatment, I'll put a link in 

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the show notes below because I 
think it's just a great resource

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to be aware of even if you're 
like doesn't even relate to you 

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at all. 
If you hear someone that's like 

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considering treatment are 
researching, I can't speak. 

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Kylie enough of it. 
So if you ever need to pass 

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along recommendation threes 
McLean, Hospital is in the show 

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notes, but today's episode is an
amazing one. 

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So, in line with me, beginning, 
right? 

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Treatment Journey because it is 
about taking ownership of your 

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life. 
It is about being the CEO of 

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your life. 
It is about being a Discerning 

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individual. 
When it comes to the habits, 

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you're engaging in who you're 
surrounding yourself with what 

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values, you're living your life 
by this is just an amazing 

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conversation with so much value 
and insight. 

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I Connected with Sarah when we 
were talking about doing a 

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podcast Swap and she gave me the
tough love that I needed at the 

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moment which was like, you need 
to hold yourself to a higher 

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standard from a work 
perspective, from a podcast 

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perspective with how you're 
investing your time. 

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And I needed that at that moment
and to know that like what I was

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doing with balancing, everything
was not sustainable and that 

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something needed to shift and 
that my time and my talent was 

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valuable. 
And so after that conversation, 

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I knew I had to have her own she
persisted And I knew I had to 

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share her story and her value 
with you guys as well, and this 

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conversation does not 
disappoint. 

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So like I said, today's guest is
Sarah her home. 

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She is a former Elementary 
School teacher and she is now an

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entrepreneur. 
She is the founder of wit, which

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stands for whatever it takes and
she works with twins around the 

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world who are interested in 
using their voices and ideas to 

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launch businesses, nonprofits, 
and or School movements. 

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So they focus on helping tweens 
and teens develop emotional 

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intelligence. 
Skills that entrepreneurial 

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mindset. 
And and that's exactly what we 

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dive into this discussion. 
We talked about why leadership 

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skills are so crucial for teens 
to develop how age and worth a 

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thick are not mutually 
exclusive. 

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Exactly how you can start to 
take ownership of your life and 

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so much more. 
So with that, let's dive into 

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it, I hope you enjoy. 
As always, if you do, make sure 

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to leave a review on Apple 
podcast and Spotify share with a

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friend or family member post on 
social media and the other Thing

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I wanted to mention is that all 
of the video for. 

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She persisted episodes are on my
YouTube channel which is in the 

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show notes. 
So if you're listening to this 

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and you're like, I'd rather 
watch this on video. 

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Check out the link in the show 
notes, head over to YouTube and 

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watch us having this 
conversation. 

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So, with that being said, let's 
Dive In. 

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Well, thank you so much, Sarah 
for joining me today on to 

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persisted. 
I'm so excited to have you on 

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the show. 
I just, I don't know if you 

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realize, but you helped me so 
much when we connected it 

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initially. 
And so I knew that you'd be able

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to help so many other people 
through the podcast. 

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And so I'm just so honored to 
have you on the show. 

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Thank you for having me, of 
course. 

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So I want to start by hearing 
your journey in hearing about 

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how you came to working with 
teens, being a mental health 

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advocate advocating so much for 
teens and what, how life brought

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you to that point? 
Well, I mean, I'm I'm a lot 

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older than you so it's been 
quite a journey. 

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So if there's like specific 
parts of the dream, that you 

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want me to touch on because I 
just think it's really important

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for people to understand. 
Even those listening that life 

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is just not linear, there's a 
lot of twists and turns. 

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I mean, I've had a career in 
television and film, I was a 

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school teacher at one point and 
now I've been running my 

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Organization for over 10 years. 
So, there's a lot of life that's

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happened to this point. 
So my life was not one that I 

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went to college. 
College. 

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And then I started this career 
that I've been. 

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I've been I've stayed in for for
many years. 

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So it's been a lot of twists and
turns to get where I am. 

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And that said, it all makes 
sense to be where I am, which is

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really fun about life and fun 
about getting older. 

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Is that sometimes when you're in
something, you just cannot 

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understand why you have to go 
through it or why things are 

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happening how they're happening,
but it's fun when you get some, 

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get some miles on you and get 
Some years that you can go. 

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Oh yeah, yeah that makes sense. 
So lots of twists and turns got 

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me where I am. 
Yeah no I remember the exact 

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same thing with my mental health
Journey. 

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It wasn't until like I had the 
emotional distance and being a 

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couple years out of it, where I 
was like, okay, I understand why

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these things happen. 
I understand why. 

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Now it has like this innate 
sense of purpose and meet and 

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I'm so passionate about mental 
health because I struggled 

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myself and that wouldn't be 
there. 

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Unless I'd gone through that 
Journey. 

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But in the moment I was like 
there is literally Lee no reason

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for which I am experiencing. 
This is terrible. 

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This is awful. 
So, hindsight is 20/20. 

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So why did you start doing what?
I know that you, you had another

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career beforehand? 
Did you notice a gap in the 

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market where you like, I wish I 
had this as a teen. 

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What happened there? 
That inspired you. 

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So the the Catalyst first 
starting wit whatever it takes, 

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which is the nonprofit business,
nonprofit organization that I 

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start that I run. 
It was a layoff. 

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So I think that's also really 
important people to, I was laid 

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off three years or four years in
a row, as a school teacher, due 

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to budget cuts, and the last 
year of layoffs, it was it was 

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time to kind of reflect about 
what am I doing. 

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This. 
This cycle is really unhealthy 

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for me to be working really hard
at a job and being really great 

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at it and then being at the 
mercy of a system that's broken.

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And I think everybody would 
agree that the education system 

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is broken. 
Some might think more severe Lee

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than others. 
But I've never met anybody who 

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thinks that education system is 
like really Stellar 

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hierarchical. 
Yeah and our country, right? 

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So I just had this feeling which
maybe other people can relate to

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where you go. 
Wait a second. 

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I don't like feeling that I'm at
the mercy of somebody else. 

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I don't like that feeling and I 
just sat with that, and then I 

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asked myself a really important 
question and I was deathly where

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I was on a walk and this, by the
bay and where I live in San 

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Diego and I said, If you know, 
you could wake up tomorrow and 

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do anything, what would it be? 
And my answer came very easily. 

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It wasn't like I want to say 
that to everybody that it wasn't

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like the skies parted and all of
a sudden you know, it was just a

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very simple just thought that 
came to me in response to that 

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question that I posed to myself.
And and the answer was that I 

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wanted to help young people be 
of service to others because I 

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had seen how much that had 
transformed the In my classroom,

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when we were doing service 
projects, when we were showing 

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up for other people, I saw an 
increase in self-confidence. 

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I saw an increased and 
knowledge. 

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And what I mean by that is we 
would take on big projects. 

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Like we took on Hurricane 
Katrina happen. 

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When I was a school teacher and 
I was teaching fourth grade, as 

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my first year of teaching, 
fourth teaching, I love those 

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kids. 
I'm still in touch with many of 

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them today, which is such a 
blessing and they wanted to help

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and they wanted to do something.
And you know, one of the things 

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that we that they did was they 
decided they adopt the library 

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that had been destroyed and they
wanted to do a book drive and 

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then they wanted to mail the 
books out, but we had to raise 

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money for the postage for the 
book boxes. 

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But there's a lot of math that 
goes into realizing how much 

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things are going to cost and 
what kind of boxes we should 

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use. 
And so we would do these service

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projects while also addressing 
academic standards. 

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But of course, as we all know, 
and learning is fun, we We 

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usually retain the information 
more and to see are the young 

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people in my classroom, then get
written about in newspapers 

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because of the work that they 
were doing and seeing their 

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confidence increase. 
I just thought I wonder if I 

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could do that at a bigger scale 
and the first idea was to go 

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back to my roots and TV and film
and Pitch as a TV show of kids, 

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giving back and ABC said, go get
footage of that. 

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And so I went to a school and I 
started filming footage of 

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different service projects, 
talent shows that Ed to raising 

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money to build a water. 
Well in Africa on and on and on.

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And here we are over ten years 
later with lots of pivots and 

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our business model and no TV 
show. 

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But a documentary in progress, 
but I've been saying that for 

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years now so we'll see if that 
ever comes to fruition. 

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But that was really it like just
the looking at being not liking 

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my current, my situation and I'm
really big. 

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I don't like people that just 
wanting about stuff and don't do

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anything about it. 
Like that's, that's a deal 

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breaker for me and dating and 
pretty much a deal-breaker for 

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me in Shapes. 
Like, if all you're doing is 

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bitching about something over 
and over and over again and not 

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taking action on it. 
Like, that's just, that's not 

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how I am. 
So I just I was unkind, I didn't

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like what was happening to me, I
sat with that. 

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I got pissed. 
I felt all my feelings. 

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Then I was like, well what would
you do if you could do anything?

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And then I got my answer and 
then I made the choice to I mean

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I was laid off but they might 
have brought me back in the fall

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but I collected unemployment. 
And during this that summer I 

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just worked on this business 
idea. 

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And obviously never went back to
that career. 

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And now I'm, you know, I've been
doing what I've been doing for 

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over a decade. 
Wow, so I want to talk to you 

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about leadership and I think 
it's pretty unique that you are 

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so passionate, about giving 
teens leadership skills, I feel 

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like there's really like a 
narrative, okay? 

283
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Like once you're an adult, 
you'll learn leadership. 

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It's something that comes along 
further down the line, but your 

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leader is like and every single 
day in life, like whether you're

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00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:34,500
doing a group project or you are
starting a business or something

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00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,400
like that, it's a very important
skill. 

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00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,600
So I wanted to get your 
perspective on that of why you 

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00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,900
think it's so important for 
teens to Is leadership skills 

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00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,900
early on in life? 
Well, it could be because I see 

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00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,600
such poor adult leadership 
skills, right? 

292
00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:51,200
This is true. 
I mean, remember, I'm older than

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00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:52,800
you. 
So, and I'm running a company 

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00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,300
where I need to hire and fire 
people so I can tell you what I 

295
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,500
see, come through the door and 
what's been developed and what's

296
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,700
not been developed. 
And that's that's really great 

297
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,200
for me to be able to go, oh my 
gosh, like this trend that I'm 

298
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:08,700
seeing in people, coming into 
the job market is like you know,

299
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:12,700
is not is not good. 
How can we address that into it 

300
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,200
with our younger demographics, 
to help? 

301
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,600
Make sure that they're not like 
that when they when they're and 

302
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,200
when they're entering the job 
market. 

303
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:22,300
So that that's why it's 
important to me because these 

304
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:24,600
people will eventually be 
running companies and I could 

305
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:27,100
have hired them. 
I mean, I'm more inclined to 

306
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,800
hire my current teenagers. 
And I am to hire most young 

307
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:34,800
adults and that's true. 
And people will know that if 

308
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,200
they fact check this because I 
do paid internships at with, I 

309
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:43,900
hire people, I I think age is a 
good determinant on whether or 

310
00:15:43,900 --> 00:15:47,600
not you have like good work 
ethic. 

311
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,300
I mean, I think young people 
just need to get they didn't 

312
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,400
then go to seem to get more 
experience working. 

313
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,500
And that's, they also haven't 
been in like, the corporate 

314
00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:59,400
cycle for like 20 or 30 years 
like that itself does something 

315
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,700
to the work ethic, like you had 
an eight passion, and drive, and

316
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:06,800
kids. 
And I also, I just think 

317
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,800
sometimes the way the school 
system is set up its that At. 

318
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:14,700
The administration, the teacher 
is here, and the student is 

319
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:17,200
here. 
And so higher, you know, hot 

320
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,300
that, you know, and and the 
child is lower. 

321
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,400
And so, the leader is supposed 
this person that has the power, 

322
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,300
the higher part, which is a 
teacher in the oven. 

323
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,700
But I really try to tell my 
young people. 

324
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:31,600
You actually have the power. 
You the customer in your school 

325
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:35,300
like you are the customer. 
You are without you. 

326
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,500
That's cool. 
Does not get funding. 

327
00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:38,000
That school. 
Doesn't get donors at school. 

328
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,800
Doesn't get recognition for 
great, SAT scores. 

329
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,800
Or getting into top colleges. 
They need you. 

330
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:49,300
And so knowing that doesn't mean
that you act cocky or arrogant, 

331
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,000
but know that you should be 
setting, you should be 

332
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,600
advocating for yourself, you 
should be taking on, you should 

333
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:58,300
be building programs and clubs 
that give you a chance to make 

334
00:16:58,300 --> 00:17:02,400
change in your school or put you
in leadership roles to use your 

335
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,000
voice. 
It's sometimes what happens is 

336
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,599
though. 
There's like this kids will be 

337
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:08,700
like, oh yeah, you're right. 
And so then they want to like go

338
00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:11,200
fight the system, right? 
Because it's also like very 

339
00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:13,599
age-appropriate As a teenager to
like fight a system. 

340
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,900
Yeah. 
But we know that we don't get 

341
00:17:15,900 --> 00:17:18,099
ahead if we come in guns 
blazing, right? 

342
00:17:18,099 --> 00:17:20,500
Like we just like know that 
that's not how things work. 

343
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:25,599
But if you come in like with a 
clear plan or with good ideas 

344
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:27,500
and thoughtful ideas, I'm not 
saying that every Administration

345
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,600
will listen to them because they
don't I've seen them been around

346
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:33,300
for years so they don't, but 
there's other ways to get your 

347
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,800
word out. 
The word out to about got the 

348
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,300
kind of things that you want to 
see, change in education using 

349
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,000
different platforms and 
different press. 

350
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:43,400
But I just feel like you should 
Have to wait till you're older 

351
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,500
to develop leader or ship skills
and to develop and to learn how 

352
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,600
to lead be a leader in your own 
life. 

353
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,400
That's like this idea of like 
being the CEO of your own life 

354
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:57,200
is very important to me to teach
because I think young people sit

355
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,200
a little passive and think that 
life is just happening to them 

356
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:03,500
and they're being like forced to
go to school and I have to do 

357
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:08,000
this and I have to that but 
that's a very that's a very low.

358
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:11,700
Vibration way to be in the world
if you think that like your day 

359
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,200
is Is full of things like you 
have to do and when you don't 

360
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,200
have a lot of choice. 
So I try to show them the shift 

361
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:20,400
of, like, taking the ownership 
showing that you have a lot of 

362
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:25,000
chances to, to advocate for 
yourself to lead to be in the 

363
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,300
driver's seat of your own life. 
That's important to me. 

364
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:31,500
I love that this week's episode 
is brought to you by teen 

365
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,100
counseling. 
We talked about it in the intro,

366
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:37,100
but mental health treatment and 
therapy were a game changer for 

367
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,200
me. 
When I was struggling with 

368
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,600
severe depression and anxiety 
that was what really pulled me 

369
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:45,500
out of my low and enabled me to 
take ownership of my life to use

370
00:18:45,500 --> 00:18:48,500
skills, to improve my life to 
build healthy relationships and 

371
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:52,400
so many different things. 
So, what teen counseling is, is 

372
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:56,200
it is a branch of better help 
specifically for teenagers. 

373
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:59,400
It's an online Therapy Program 
with a Teen licensed therapist 

374
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:02,400
within the network and they 
offer support on things like 

375
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:05,900
anxiety, depression, 
relationships, trauma, and more,

376
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:08,600
all via, talk text and video 
counseling. 

377
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,900
So what you're going to do is 
you're going to go to teen 

378
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,900
counseling.com, she persisted, 
and you're going to fill out a 

379
00:19:13,908 --> 00:19:16,300
quick survey about what you're 
hoping to work on. 

380
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,500
So maybe that's cool stress, 
maybe that's time management, 

381
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,300
maybe it's family relationships,
whatever it is, you fill it out 

382
00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:25,200
on the survey, and they use the 
survey to match you with a 

383
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:28,000
therapist that meets your needs 
from, there you'll go. 

384
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,600
Ahead and enter a parents email 
for consent for treatment and 

385
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,900
none of the information that you
share on the survey is shared 

386
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,100
with your parent. 
That is purely to match you with

387
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:39,800
the right therapist and they 
send a pretty nondescript email 

388
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:43,100
to your parents saying, Sadie or
whatever your name is, is hoping

389
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:45,200
to work with a therapist from 
Teen counseling. 

390
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,700
Please click the link below to 
learn more and give consent and 

391
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,800
I sent the email to myself. 
I try to you guys. 

392
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:54,300
Don't worry and none of your 
information is disclosed that 

393
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:58,100
confidentiality is protected. 
So this is an amazing resource. 

394
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:03,000
And because it's talk text and 
video, you can have a therapist,

395
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,600
really meet you, where you're at
and what level support you're 

396
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:07,600
looking for. 
You don't have to deal with 

397
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:10,300
waiting on a waiting list for 
months or weeks to meet with a 

398
00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:12,600
therapist and person. 
You don't have to deal with 

399
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,100
going into the office for the 
first time and navigating that 

400
00:20:15,100 --> 00:20:17,700
awkwardness. 
I've been there, I understand. 

401
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:19,700
So this is just a great solution
all around. 

402
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,200
So to start your therapy Journey
today, head to teen 

403
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,700
counseling.com says, she 
persisted. 

404
00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:28,000
So you talked about being the 
CEO of your own life. 

405
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,000
It's a loaded question. 
I tend to ask a lot of those on 

406
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,800
the podcast but if you could 
give like a really quick 

407
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,800
masterclass on like two or three
skills that you think are 

408
00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:41,500
crucial to that in a way that a 
teenager can apply that in their

409
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:44,400
life that be. 
If you're someone's like I want 

410
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,100
to take more ownership, I have 
no idea where to start where do 

411
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:51,000
they begin? 
I think the first thing would be

412
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:57,300
to take inventory or reflect on 
where you see the victim mindset

413
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,800
showing up in your life. 
Life. 

414
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:04,400
So I mean I think even like 
looking at your language, right?

415
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,600
So how do you talk about your 
day? 

416
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,400
How do you talk about your life?
How do you? 

417
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:11,800
So let's just take the big Flex 
them. 

418
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,600
I got them acting like I'm like 
a kid using like the term, it's 

419
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,500
not a flag of a graphic, not too
great. 

420
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,900
It's good job because I like 
don't I don't need to try to be 

421
00:21:20,908 --> 00:21:22,400
cool. 
Like I they can be cool. 

422
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,000
I'm just helping him out but 
like when people think it's like

423
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,300
a flax to say how busy they are 
and how tired they are. 

424
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:32,000
Are you okay? 
When they like oh my God I had 

425
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,400
so much homework. 
I couldn't sleep. 

426
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,100
Yeah I'm so tired. 
I'm so tired of my God, I'm so 

427
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,700
tired. 
It's like I was a bullet. 

428
00:21:36,700 --> 00:21:41,800
So what I hear is like wow you 
have really bad time management 

429
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:44,900
skills and it's a really poor 
self-care routine. 

430
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,700
I don't hear. 
Oh my God, you're just so 

431
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:51,200
amazing and you're so big, it's 
not cool. 

432
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:56,700
I don't and so that is it. 
That's and that's an example of 

433
00:21:56,700 --> 00:21:58,800
to me, not being a CEO of your 
own life. 

434
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:05,200
A Bo would never show up to the 
boardroom saying how tired they 

435
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,100
were and how overwhelms they 
were. 

436
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:15,400
That's not a power move. 
So like it's saying, like where 

437
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,700
are you saying using language 
that you think is showing that 

438
00:22:19,700 --> 00:22:24,600
you're like, cool or you have a 
full light? 

439
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,500
I don't know how to, I don't 
know, the best I'd terminology 

440
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:31,400
for it but it's this idea of 
going like CEOs, don't talk like

441
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,300
that. 
CEOs, go. 

442
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,900
It's really important that I'm 
able to show up for myself first

443
00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:42,100
and then might the mission and 
the team. 

444
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,300
So we're like I tell somebody be
the CEO of your own life in 

445
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:49,000
terms of your health. 
I mean, if people are out like 

446
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,200
you're in college, I mean, I 
mean I mean rocking the 

447
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,400
delusional, we know high 
schoolers drink, but if you're 

448
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:56,800
out, binge drinking, if you're 
out, like, literally late and 

449
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:59,700
you're doing things like, okay, 
whatever, like you're allowed to

450
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,800
do those kinds of thing. 
I mean legally, hopefully 

451
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:04,800
whatever. 
But I mean, it's it's like 

452
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,300
that's not a healthy choice for 
your body and for your mind, if 

453
00:23:09,300 --> 00:23:12,200
you're trying to be somebody or 
you're using language. 

454
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,100
See, here's a deal cuz I'm 
getting a little like just bear 

455
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:16,400
with me here. 
Here's a deal. 

456
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:20,500
Your words and your actions have
to line up if you really want to

457
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:25,300
just live a life that's like 
pretty amazing meaning if you're

458
00:23:25,300 --> 00:23:28,500
talking about wanting to be like
running your own company or 

459
00:23:28,500 --> 00:23:31,000
being the head of this or 
working for this thing or doing 

460
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,000
like being in these like really 
like Were in Shaker positions in

461
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,900
your and eventually in your in 
the world. 

462
00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:40,400
But your actions on a daily 
basis and weekly basis are ones 

463
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,700
of somebody who are that looked 
like, they'd be the behavior of 

464
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:46,600
somebody who's, okay, living a 
mediocre life and being more 

465
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,200
average than you're going to 
have a problem, you're going to.

466
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:54,200
So my thing is, like just lining
it up and maybe you don't have 

467
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,800
to have some big drastic 
overhaul but it can be like 

468
00:23:56,800 --> 00:23:59,700
small. 
It can be small changes think 

469
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:01,800
about the things that you've 
been saying in your brain over 

470
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,700
and over again. 
Maybe It sounds like you keep 

471
00:24:03,700 --> 00:24:05,600
telling yourself that you're 
going to eat healthier, or 

472
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,800
you're going to wake up earlier 
or you're going to work out 

473
00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,900
three times a week, whatever 
your thing is but you don't do 

474
00:24:11,900 --> 00:24:15,700
it, that's not a CEO, CEO will 
do it. 

475
00:24:16,300 --> 00:24:20,400
So pick one thing that you 
everybody knows the one thing 

476
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,700
that they're almost so sick and 
tired of telling themselves that

477
00:24:23,700 --> 00:24:25,900
they're going to do and they 
haven't done it. 

478
00:24:26,300 --> 00:24:31,000
Pick that thing. 
Execute it, incorporate it into 

479
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:37,300
your life for And then pick 
another thing and just slowly 

480
00:24:37,300 --> 00:24:40,800
start lining it up. 
It could be as easy as I tell 

481
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,400
myself that I'm going to drink, 
you know, we're going to I'm 

482
00:24:42,408 --> 00:24:45,700
going to drink two, three 
bottles of water a day and then 

483
00:24:45,700 --> 00:24:46,400
maybe. 
Yeah. 

484
00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:49,100
And then you say that you never 
do it. 

485
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:51,800
Maybe today is it a? 
You just drink the damn water, 

486
00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:55,000
just drink the water day so you 
can get that off of your list 

487
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:59,200
that you you not keeping your 
own word to yourself. 

488
00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:02,500
Is is not does not do good 
things to your body. 

489
00:25:02,700 --> 00:25:05,000
And to your soul. 
If you are continuously 

490
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,300
breaking, you're breaking your 
word to yourself. 

491
00:25:09,100 --> 00:25:12,600
That's not a good move now, 
you're like not prioritizing 

492
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,800
your relationship. 
You're not respecting yourself. 

493
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,500
You're not believing that you're
worth doing that. 

494
00:25:17,500 --> 00:25:20,800
And I think two things at the 
what you're saying, really made 

495
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:23,400
me think of one is like the idea
that if you're not progressing 

496
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,100
or depressing and if you're like
okay I want to live this dream 

497
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:28,700
life someday. 
Well you're on the trajectory. 

498
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:32,100
So you're either like purposely 
going in the opposite direction 

499
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:35,700
by having Habits making bad 
decisions or your slowly working

500
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,000
towards that point and you're 
like, yeah, maybe drinking my 

501
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,100
three bottles of water everyday,
doesn't seem like it, but if 

502
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:44,800
you're dehydrated and you can't 
put any effort into anything 

503
00:25:44,800 --> 00:25:46,800
like you're going in the 
opposite direction. 

504
00:25:47,100 --> 00:25:49,700
And another thing that I really 
like that I think goes along 

505
00:25:49,700 --> 00:25:52,600
with this is the idea that like 
every moment is an opportunity 

506
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,600
to recommit to your goals. 
If you like we get really stuck 

507
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,600
in the mindset that like oh I 
didn't do my workout today, I'll

508
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,800
just start next week or I didn't
drink my water today whatever. 

509
00:26:02,300 --> 00:26:03,800
Ever. 
A single moment is an 

510
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,900
opportunity to recommit to this 
either larger goal or the 

511
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,600
smaller goal and continue to get
on that trajectory towards what 

512
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:14,200
you're aiming for 100 percent. 
I mean that would we have his 11

513
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:19,700
tips for doing with one of them 
is it's a choice and there's 

514
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:22,300
really you have so many chances 
to make choices. 

515
00:26:22,300 --> 00:26:24,300
Like let's say you have said 
that you're going to work out 

516
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:28,100
today and you haven't but you 
really could do a 10-minute hit.

517
00:26:28,100 --> 00:26:30,500
Work out in your room. 
You can break a spot in 10 

518
00:26:30,500 --> 00:26:32,200
minutes if you're doing a hit 
workout. 

519
00:26:32,700 --> 00:26:37,500
So, it's just doing those things
following through. 

520
00:26:37,500 --> 00:26:40,400
And I think that, I think if I 
could teach young, especially 

521
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,000
young women, because I think 
something that I struggled when 

522
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:48,700
I was younger and as a teenager 
and as a young adult, is that a 

523
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:53,000
lot of the, the work that I was 
doing, or the things I was 

524
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,600
trying to make myself better, I 
thought I could motivate myself 

525
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,800
to do those things through like 
negative. 

526
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,400
Self-talk was almost, like I 
would bully myself into doing 

527
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,900
those things or shame myself. 
Elf and to doing those things, 

528
00:27:03,900 --> 00:27:06,300
or if I didn't do something, I 
was like really hard on myself. 

529
00:27:06,300 --> 00:27:09,500
And so, then I'd like punish 
myself the next day with 

530
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:14,700
something and I wish I would 
have learned younger that that's

531
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:18,300
not a sustainable behavior and 
not a loving Choice. 

532
00:27:18,500 --> 00:27:23,100
It can the, the fucked-up thing 
is that sometimes it actually 

533
00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:26,600
can get you results. 
But it doesn't have that what's 

534
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:27,600
so hard about it. 
Yeah. 

535
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,900
But they're not long-term 
sustainable. 

536
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:35,900
What is is radically loving 
yourself and accepting yourself 

537
00:27:36,300 --> 00:27:40,600
through those things and really 
working on the positive? 

538
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:44,900
Self-talk and my girls will 
sometimes like laugh because 

539
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,400
I'll say like, oh yeah I look in
the mirror sometimes and be like

540
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:51,300
like, you know it's been a rough
one but like you got it. 

541
00:27:51,300 --> 00:27:53,000
Like you can do it like good 
job. 

542
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,200
Like I will like do positive. 
It's not in my fake, it's very 

543
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,400
honest for me. 
But that wasn't how I used to 

544
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,400
be, I would actually look at 
myself and be very hard on 

545
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:07,800
myself and think that if I, that
if I would just the heart, like 

546
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,800
the harder I was then the more I
would improve. 

547
00:28:09,900 --> 00:28:12,800
And I, when I share this with 
the young people I work with, I 

548
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,700
say, you have to think about it 
in terms of, have you ever 

549
00:28:15,700 --> 00:28:22,900
experienced or ever seen someone
get bullied into more love for 

550
00:28:22,900 --> 00:28:25,400
themselves and better Behavior? 
Sure. 

551
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,400
It doesn't go that Tick Tock 
Trend right now, though. 

552
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,800
Is it? 
What is that? 

553
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,100
Yeah, it's like so basically, 
it's all my gosh. 

554
00:28:31,100 --> 00:28:32,700
I wish I could remember the 
sound. 

555
00:28:32,900 --> 00:28:35,300
It's Like Only Love Hurts like 
this. 

556
00:28:35,300 --> 00:28:37,500
I think is the sound and it 
shows someone like really 

557
00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:39,900
unhappy before and then they do 
have this whole transfer. 

558
00:28:39,900 --> 00:28:41,500
It's like a breakup kind of 
thing. 

559
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:45,600
So I guess it's not really like 
bullying bullying but it's like 

560
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,400
that really negative experience 
and that like really - 

561
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,600
relationship that like builds 
that growth. 

562
00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:54,300
But then I agree with you that 
like, when things are built out 

563
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:56,700
of that like - Space is not 
long-lasting. 

564
00:28:56,700 --> 00:28:59,400
It's not sustainable, I guess if
you're in like the after part 

565
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,500
and you're like, I hate being 
treated this way. 

566
00:29:01,500 --> 00:29:04,600
I'm going to treat myself 
differently and then you like 

567
00:29:04,600 --> 00:29:07,800
have this radical self-love that
allows you to have this personal

568
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:09,500
growth. 
I think that is totally valid 

569
00:29:09,500 --> 00:29:13,600
and could be really sustainable.
But yeah, you also see young 

570
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:15,100
people old people. 
It doesn't matter. 

571
00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:18,600
I don't think age has anything 
to do with it but women wanting 

572
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:23,800
romantic Partners to show up in 
ways for them and talk to them 

573
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,200
in ways that they don't. 
Don't show up for themselves or 

574
00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:31,000
talk to themselves, which is 
really interesting to dive into 

575
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,700
and to just like, take take it, 
you know, to observe that women 

576
00:29:35,700 --> 00:29:39,300
will want their romantic partner
to do, all these like things for

577
00:29:39,300 --> 00:29:44,800
them and then say, all these 
things to them, but in the quiet

578
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,400
of their own home and in their 
own soul, they're not showing up

579
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,400
for themselves like that and 
they're not speaking to 

580
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,500
themselves like that. 
And so then they put all their 

581
00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:56,000
like power into this. 
Other human. 

582
00:29:56,700 --> 00:30:00,700
And then, you see, really toxic 
codependent and healthy 

583
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:03,200
relationships happening with 
young, women starting in high 

584
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,000
school and I see it all the time
and I see it all the time. 

585
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,400
High school relationships are 
very toxic. 

586
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,000
I don't think we talked about 
that enough. 

587
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:14,600
They are not a good time. 
I mean there's anything is I 

588
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,900
mean, like I said it being 
older. 

589
00:30:15,900 --> 00:30:18,600
I mean, I look back and I go, 
she's like those, those 

590
00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,100
relationships and those 
experiences in high school and 

591
00:30:21,100 --> 00:30:25,900
in college, they do form a lot 
of But they do make an impact. 

592
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:28,700
So you really want to like 
handle what's happening there. 

593
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,900
This is what you do. 
You Harriet immediately very 

594
00:30:31,900 --> 00:30:37,300
organic and AIDS ASAP. 
No it's totally, totally true. 

595
00:30:37,300 --> 00:30:39,800
I completely agree. 
I want to hear your perspective 

596
00:30:39,800 --> 00:30:42,600
on the connection between this 
like self-love this radical 

597
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,800
self-acceptance. 
This self-esteem and Leadership 

598
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:49,400
entrepreneurship. 
How you're showing up as others 

599
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:50,500
view? 
You, do you think there's a 

600
00:30:50,508 --> 00:30:54,100
connection there if so what are 
the steps is 1/2? 

601
00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,000
To come before the other. 
What do you see? 

602
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,900
I've been in yourself, or with 
the girls you're working with? 

603
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,200
Well, yeah, I do. 
I mean, will hurt people, hurt 

604
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,800
people. 
So we know that. 

605
00:31:03,100 --> 00:31:07,000
So if you're hurting and not in 
a level of like self love and 

606
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,600
self exceptions, the chances 
are, you're probably hurting 

607
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:14,900
other people. 
You're probably projecting that 

608
00:31:14,900 --> 00:31:17,500
pain that you're feeling that 
you're not addressing on to 

609
00:31:17,500 --> 00:31:20,000
other people. 
We see this happen all the time.

610
00:31:20,100 --> 00:31:23,800
I've been a recipient of this, 
I've told the story many times, 

611
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,300
but There was a girl that hosted
an Instagram live. 

612
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:30,400
The teenage girl that was just 
she was just tearing me apart 

613
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,700
and talk about how ugly I am and
like all these different things 

614
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:35,900
and and other teen girls reached
out to me and said, did you know

615
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:39,500
that they're there, she had you 
on us, the guests, know she was 

616
00:31:39,500 --> 00:31:45,600
upset because she didn't movie, 
I invited her on our podcast and

617
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,800
she knows she knows showed me. 
And then to told me that I mean 

618
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,100
the day of the recording and she
said when I reached out to her 

619
00:31:52,100 --> 00:31:54,900
she didn't get back to me for a 
couple days and then When she 

620
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:58,400
reached out to me, she said you 
don't have a high fly high and 

621
00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:00,400
you didn't have a high enough 
follower count for me to make it

622
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,400
worth my time. 
And so, I use that as a 

623
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:06,800
teachable moment in my community
and went live on, on my 

624
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,500
Instagram. 
And I said, here's a deal. 

625
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:15,800
This is why that's a really bad 
choice to like, to be unto 

626
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:17,500
stand. 
Somebody up based on a follower 

627
00:32:17,500 --> 00:32:20,700
account, like we put so much 
pressure and so much leverage 

628
00:32:20,700 --> 00:32:21,700
on. 
Like how many followers they 

629
00:32:21,700 --> 00:32:22,600
have? 
Did that. 

630
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,200
That's not how you really like. 
Build a business. 

631
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,800
That's not. 
I mean, anyway, I used it as a 

632
00:32:26,808 --> 00:32:30,900
teachable moment and there. 
I got so many people writing me 

633
00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:33,000
and saying, oh my gosh, I 
totally appreciate. 

634
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:35,200
Thank you for saying this. 
I feel so much pressure with 

635
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:36,600
this like follower count, 
whatever. 

636
00:32:37,500 --> 00:32:42,500
And while I didn't mention the 
girl's name, I did share her DM 

637
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:47,100
and people could see her profile
pic and they knew who it was. 

638
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:50,600
I don't really care. 
I mean, I feel like if you like,

639
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,600
I don't know, you don't get to 
put people on blast and then not

640
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:55,100
take it yourself. 
If I don't, but I don't agree 

641
00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:56,700
with that. 
Like, if you're gonna like talk 

642
00:32:56,700 --> 00:33:00,500
smack about somebody, then they 
can have a chance respond and 

643
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:03,900
her response that what she did 
was she went on a live and then 

644
00:33:03,900 --> 00:33:08,500
just like went to just pick me 
apart physically and everything.

645
00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,400
So let's find mean whatever. 
I, the funny thing was that I 

646
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,800
actually the teens reach out to 
me and told me this was 

647
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:15,000
happening. 
And so, I logged on and I 

648
00:33:15,008 --> 00:33:16,900
watched it, that's kind of how 
funny it was. 

649
00:33:16,900 --> 00:33:19,800
As like, I actually watch 
somebody like tearing me apart 

650
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,300
but what I knew for sure, was 
that girl was hurting because 

651
00:33:23,300 --> 00:33:24,500
hurt people, hurt people. 
All. 

652
00:33:25,100 --> 00:33:29,800
And that's she was embarrassed. 
I'm sure. 

653
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,700
And she probably liked regretted
that she had done what she did 

654
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:37,000
but that my purpose was not to 
like it was more just to say, 

655
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,400
like, people there's so much 
this pressure on this like 

656
00:33:39,400 --> 00:33:41,700
follower count and how you treat
people matters. 

657
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:45,200
There's like the energy that you
put out there comes back to you 

658
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,900
and disregarding somebody 
because of the follower count or

659
00:33:49,100 --> 00:33:51,500
hey, you can choose not. 
If I don't want to come on your 

660
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,000
podcast this morning, I could 
have messaged you in. 

661
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,800
I said, I've changed my mind. 
I don't want to go, but you 

662
00:33:55,808 --> 00:33:58,000
don't stand somebody up. 
You don't like how do you sit 

663
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,800
here and wait for that? 
That's not good. 

664
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,200
We had audio issues the first 
time and I emailed you. 

665
00:34:02,208 --> 00:34:04,300
And I was like, I'm so sorry 
about the Apple Store. 

666
00:34:04,300 --> 00:34:06,900
Try to get a new cord. 
Like I didn't just like the I 

667
00:34:06,900 --> 00:34:10,199
let you know, yes, that that 
courtesy like, regardless like 

668
00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:12,699
you've committed and then 
there's a time commitment, you 

669
00:34:12,699 --> 00:34:16,199
have to honor like it's just you
don't just disappear into thin 

670
00:34:16,199 --> 00:34:18,500
air and of course things happen.
Like if there's like a huge 

671
00:34:18,500 --> 00:34:20,800
emergency and you fall off and 
I'm like, you're like I'm so 

672
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,800
sorry totally I stare and that's
actually I was concerned that 

673
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,300
maybe Thing happened to her, 
right? 

674
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:27,800
So then but then I saw her 
posting on her Instagram so I 

675
00:34:27,808 --> 00:34:31,400
knew she was like fine but long 
we got off on a tractor but I 

676
00:34:31,408 --> 00:34:35,600
was my point for that story was 
to say somebody who hosts a live

677
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:38,900
and the whole focus is to hurt 
them and to insult them in to 

678
00:34:38,900 --> 00:34:41,600
pick apart their body and all of
that is hurting. 

679
00:34:42,100 --> 00:34:46,100
So we know that people that are 
healed, don't do that. 

680
00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:49,699
People that are love themselves 
and working on themselves, don't

681
00:34:49,699 --> 00:34:53,500
do that. 
And so the connection and on if 

682
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:55,800
that's like a really That was a 
really good example. 

683
00:34:55,800 --> 00:35:02,200
But I even I let's put it back 
on me and say in my life, okay? 

684
00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:05,900
When let's take, when I see 
sometimes I'm going to space 

685
00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:11,000
for, I'm very feeling, very good
with where I am in my work in my

686
00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:14,400
business and it's very easy for 
me to celebrate other people. 

687
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:20,500
Sometimes I feel really insecure
and I feel like I'm not enough 

688
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,600
and I feel like I haven't done 
enough and I feel like It should

689
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:28,100
be bigger and better and further
along and all of these things 

690
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:33,600
and I feel and I feel insecure. 
Well, what does that look like? 

691
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,900
What happens? 
Then I can sometimes like see 

692
00:35:35,900 --> 00:35:38,900
people's success and I feel 
jealous and I feel I'm and my 

693
00:35:38,900 --> 00:35:42,100
the then I start like, although 
never publicly because I'm 

694
00:35:42,300 --> 00:35:46,000
intelligent and having them know
not to do that, but I'll hear my

695
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,600
inner voice being like. 
Yeah, but I like know that she's

696
00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,100
like, blah, blah, blah, or at 
least I should, and I'm like, 

697
00:35:51,100 --> 00:35:54,000
oh, when I do that, it's my 
alert. 

698
00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,000
Eat to go. 
Oh Sarah, what do you need to 

699
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:57,400
heal? 
Like, what's going on? 

700
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:00,600
Because you're usually really 
good at being able to like, lift

701
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:05,000
somebody else up or advocate, 
for their success, or share, 

702
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,800
their story and be like, check 
out my friend, she's doing this 

703
00:36:08,700 --> 00:36:11,800
and or it'll be okay. 
So that's how it can look like a

704
00:36:11,808 --> 00:36:15,900
business or I can feel like 
really good in my romantic life 

705
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,300
and then it's easy for me to 
celebrate other people. 

706
00:36:19,500 --> 00:36:23,900
And there's or if I'm feeling 
like that area of my life is, 

707
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,700
Stagnant or doesn't look how I 
want. 

708
00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:29,700
I can start scrolling on 
Instagram and start feeling 

709
00:36:29,700 --> 00:36:31,700
really jealous think. 
Oh my God. 

710
00:36:31,700 --> 00:36:33,600
That's so obnoxious. 
Yeah, they're probably like, oh,

711
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:39,100
you think it's probably good. 
That's probably that's I use 

712
00:36:39,100 --> 00:36:42,200
that. 
That's my gauge is like, am I 

713
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:48,000
able What to do, what is really 
is how I love to walk in the 

714
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,900
world, which is to celebrate 
other people, lift other people 

715
00:36:50,908 --> 00:36:53,500
up. 
While also feeling really good 

716
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:56,600
about my place in the world, 
that is where I like to. 

717
00:36:56,600 --> 00:37:00,600
That's how I like to flow. 
If I'm, if I'm feeling jealous 

718
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,700
or if I'm feeling insecure, it 
shows up as jealousy. 

719
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:09,000
And so, and then it shows up as 
me, kind of like its primary and

720
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,700
secondary emotions, I literally 
released an episode on Monday, 

721
00:37:11,700 --> 00:37:13,300
all about this. 
It was like a doozy. 

722
00:37:13,300 --> 00:37:15,300
It was a lot of Of information 
thrown at people. 

723
00:37:15,300 --> 00:37:16,900
But I touched on that. 
Exactly. 

724
00:37:17,100 --> 00:37:19,100
And people don't know to look 
for those things. 

725
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,200
Like, they don't know that like,
they're feeling jealousy. 

726
00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,500
Something else could be 
happening internally that they 

727
00:37:23,500 --> 00:37:27,800
haven't processed through. 
Yeah, I mean, somebody else can 

728
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:31,000
be pretty and you can be pretty 
too, and somebody else could be 

729
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:33,600
successful, the scarcity versus 
abundance like. 

730
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,400
And then when I'm the same way, 
like I remember at the beginning

731
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:40,900
of the podcast, when I had like 
two reviews, the idea of writing

732
00:37:40,900 --> 00:37:43,900
someone review that had the same
number of reviews for as me 

733
00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:46,100
again. 
Oh no, like because then they'll

734
00:37:46,100 --> 00:37:49,200
have more reviews than I do, or 
is now I'm like, I do not care. 

735
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,400
If they have 30,000 more reviews
and me, if I think they're doing

736
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,000
a great thing, I read review and
it's like that scarcity versus 

737
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:57,300
abundance thing. 
And it's like when you're 

738
00:37:57,300 --> 00:38:00,400
insecure you really do think 
like there's a scarce amount of 

739
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,300
success that can be like divvied
up among people and then when 

740
00:38:03,300 --> 00:38:05,400
you're like, feeling good, 
you're like know there's enough 

741
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:10,800
to go around for everyone and I 
think I wish the education 

742
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,400
system because that's I come 
back that a lot because that is 

743
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,600
where our children. 
Aaron are spending most their 

744
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,800
day 8 hours, 10 hours a day in a
system and its education system.

745
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:23,200
We're not doing the best job 
equipping them with Tools 

746
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:24,200
around. 
It'll be their emotional 

747
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:30,100
intelligence and just building a
toolbox because we're beating it

748
00:38:30,100 --> 00:38:33,000
down that like grades grades 
grades AP is whatever whatever. 

749
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,000
But where is that? 
Where is the toolkit to 

750
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,300
understand? 
And be able to talk about these 

751
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:42,400
kinds of things, you're feeling 
this way because the competition

752
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:46,100
is so intense and High School, 
Cool for like getting into the 

753
00:38:46,100 --> 00:38:49,000
school which is such bullshit. 
It's just such bullshit, but 

754
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,100
whatever. 
Okay, so get that, if they were 

755
00:38:52,100 --> 00:38:57,900
to teach abundant mindset and 
that you can trust that, you 

756
00:38:57,900 --> 00:39:00,700
know, life will unfold in a way 
that serves you at your highest 

757
00:39:00,700 --> 00:39:04,000
good. 
Well, well, I think that people 

758
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,300
make a lot of money off of our 
kids being stressed out. 

759
00:39:07,300 --> 00:39:09,700
You spend more money on test 
prep, you stumped, spend more 

760
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:11,200
money on tutors. 
You spend more money on like 

761
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:12,700
private coaches. 
You do all these different 

762
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:15,400
things when they're stressed, if
they were like, learning how to 

763
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,600
regulate, Maybe they'd be maybe 
they people would make as much 

764
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,600
money off of them. 
So, I just don't believe. 

765
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:25,900
I do not believe that. 
All this talk about supporting 

766
00:39:25,900 --> 00:39:30,100
our youth mental health is 
really fully. 

767
00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:35,200
Grant is is really fully true 
operate very differently. 

768
00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:38,400
If they if it was this week's 
episode is brought to you by 

769
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:40,600
saqqara. 
You guys have heard me talk 

770
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,900
about them before. 
Sakura is a nutrition company 

771
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772
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773
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774
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775
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777
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778
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779
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780
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781
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They also have an amazing line 

782
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783
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Two of my favorites are the 
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784
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:23,400
sleep tea with chamomile and 
lavender, which just really 

785
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routine. 

786
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:27,600
It's amazing. 
And my other favorite is there. 

787
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:29,200
Detox Drops. 
They are chlorophyll. 

788
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:30,600
Drops that you add to your 
water. 

789
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,500
They don't add a weird taste. 
I was worried about that, but 

790
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:35,200
they have all the benefits of 
chlorophyll. 

791
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:38,500
I know you seen the benefits on 
Tick, Tock for skin Health 

792
00:40:38,500 --> 00:40:41,500
Energy, all of the things. 
So those are my two favorites. 

793
00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:44,000
If you want to try out to car, 
you can either click the link in

794
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,000
the show notes or you can go to 
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795
00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:51,200
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796
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,400
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797
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first order. 

798
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:59,200
We talked in the beginning about
how having like distance from 

799
00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,000
struggle, brings a lot of 
insight. 

800
00:41:02,300 --> 00:41:06,400
If you could give a teenager, 
one piece of advice, like, 

801
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,300
looking back on your teenage 
years working with teens. 

802
00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,400
Now, having that inside of being
an adult, what would you say? 

803
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,600
I used to get asked that 
question a lot. 

804
00:41:16,300 --> 00:41:20,100
I'd be asked and the kids built 
this business years ago with 

805
00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:23,500
called it was called 
sixteen-year-olds out. 

806
00:41:23,500 --> 00:41:26,000
I think it was about like what 
they go over and ask people to 

807
00:41:26,008 --> 00:41:27,900
question. 
Celebrities everybody what 

808
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:32,800
advice would you give your 16 
year old self and my my answer 

809
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,700
used to be. 
He's not worth it because I was 

810
00:41:35,700 --> 00:41:40,900
very boy-crazy in high school 
and I spent a lot of time 

811
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,700
worrying about what E and insert
whatever boy's name. 

812
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:47,700
You know, based on where it 
would school I was out of work. 

813
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:53,000
I was doing what he was thinking
about me and then letting that 

814
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:58,300
determine how I felt about 
myself and I still would give 

815
00:41:58,300 --> 00:42:00,800
that advice because I still see 
people. 

816
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:05,300
I still see boys and girls 
putting way too much weight into

817
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:07,900
what somebody else thinks about 
them and letting that letting 

818
00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:11,100
their opinion than to decide how
they feel about themselves. 

819
00:42:11,700 --> 00:42:14,300
So I would definitely be like, 
he's not worth it, she's not 

820
00:42:14,300 --> 00:42:15,700
worth it. 
Anybody, whether it's like the 

821
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:18,200
girl that's bullying you with a 
guy that you whatever, it's 

822
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,200
like, they're just as people are
like, not worth it because 

823
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,800
they're not really going to be 
in your life later on because 

824
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:28,600
you're in this like weird world 
for this time in your life and 

825
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,400
this chapter of your life where 
you're forced to be around 

826
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:33,700
people. 
I don't, I'm not forced to be 

827
00:42:33,700 --> 00:42:35,500
around anybody. 
Truly. 

828
00:42:35,500 --> 00:42:38,100
I mean, I'm really not because I
run my own business. 

829
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,300
If I don't want to work with 
you, I just don't work. 

830
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:43,200
Video. 
You know, but it's cool like 

831
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:44,400
you're forced to be in the 
hallways. 

832
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,000
You're forced to be on there 
obviously. 

833
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,200
Like you're assigned to a group 
project together and you're like

834
00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,100
great. 
So there's a lot of like things 

835
00:42:51,100 --> 00:42:52,800
where you just want to say like 
oh my God, just get through it, 

836
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:55,500
just get through it because it 
gets better for sure. 

837
00:42:56,100 --> 00:43:00,000
The other thing I would say is 
it's so cliche cuz I don't know 

838
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,900
how I could have learned it. 
Because I know people were 

839
00:43:01,900 --> 00:43:08,400
helping you with this but like 
loving myself and Because people

840
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,800
thought I was people thought I 
was different than I was. 

841
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,600
I was a popular girl. 
So I think people thought I had 

842
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,000
some certain things, I kind of 
figured out that I didn't and I 

843
00:43:17,008 --> 00:43:19,900
was very insecure. 
I struggle with an eating 

844
00:43:19,900 --> 00:43:22,600
disorder. 
I also was a very social person 

845
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,000
and I like I mean, it just 
there's a lot of things that I 

846
00:43:26,008 --> 00:43:29,000
was dealing with in high school 
went to three different high 

847
00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:32,500
schools, went to college prep 
school and then a public school 

848
00:43:32,500 --> 00:43:35,000
for a hot second. 
And then to boarding school was 

849
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:38,400
bullied at boarding school. 
The Semester, pretty bad. 

850
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:43,000
And so I also would want to, I 
also say to myself, like I was 

851
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:47,100
really, really strong and 
resilient in ways that I 

852
00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:55,000
shouldn't have had to be. so, if
anything I would say to my 16 

853
00:43:55,000 --> 00:44:00,500
year old self You should have 
pushed back more on those adults

854
00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:03,500
that Administration that were 
not showing up for you and not 

855
00:44:03,500 --> 00:44:06,100
taking care of you. 
You should have pushed harder 

856
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:07,900
because that, that is their job 
having. 

857
00:44:07,900 --> 00:44:11,200
But now that I'm an adult, and 
I've worked in education, I'm 

858
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:15,800
disgusted by some of the choices
that school administrations made

859
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:21,700
during my during my struggle. 
Because when you're younger, you

860
00:44:21,700 --> 00:44:25,900
don't understand. 
The adult perspective, I'm the 

861
00:44:25,900 --> 00:44:28,200
adult. 
And it's horrific. 

862
00:44:28,300 --> 00:44:30,000
How adults do not show up for 
young people? 

863
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,200
Because I see every I see it all
now. 

864
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,800
And I'm like, wait a second. 
A child came to you and say that

865
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,700
I came to them, and your 
response, was that like, I would

866
00:44:40,700 --> 00:44:46,000
never do that as an advocate and
as a teacher and as an adult So,

867
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,600
I think to the young people out 
there, that feel like the people

868
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:54,200
that the adults aren't listening
or showing up for you, I really 

869
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,800
understand that I've been there 
and you deserve better for sure.

870
00:44:59,900 --> 00:45:03,000
Yeah, no, I remember the exact 
same thing and there's a lot of 

871
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:04,900
parallels between our high 
school experiences. 

872
00:45:04,900 --> 00:45:07,000
I also did three different, high
schools. 

873
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,200
One was a private school when I 
was a boarding school and one 

874
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,100
was public school. 
Wow, that's a huge similarity. 

875
00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:14,100
Isn't that crazy? 
Totally crazy. 

876
00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:17,600
Mine was a treatment boarding. 
School was not a fun time. 

877
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:21,700
Also in a different way, but I 
remember the same experience 

878
00:45:21,700 --> 00:45:25,200
with high school administrations
and trying to get support and 

879
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:27,300
not feeling it. 
I had this one really good 

880
00:45:27,300 --> 00:45:29,500
friend. 
My freshman year, I was at 

881
00:45:29,700 --> 00:45:32,100
Attracting the energy. 
I put out all my friends were 

882
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:35,300
like severely suicidals. 
Not a good friend group going on

883
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,700
and I remember him telling me 
that he had like attempted to 

884
00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:41,700
commit suicide and he had like 
continual plans going on in her 

885
00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:44,600
and we're going to guidance 
counselor and going to a teacher

886
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:47,400
and being like this is not okay,
like he needs to be in a 

887
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,900
hospital like today and they 
brought in the parents and the 

888
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:54,200
parents were like, we don't 
think that's the right step and 

889
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,300
no further steps were taken. 
So why was there like knowing 

890
00:45:57,300 --> 00:45:59,500
that this kid might not be there
tomorrow? 

891
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,700
Oh and he was deeply unhappy and
deeply unsafe and there was no 

892
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:06,400
support given. 
There was no further steps and I

893
00:46:06,408 --> 00:46:07,700
was like what's going to happen 
there? 

894
00:46:07,700 --> 00:46:09,600
Like we don't know. 
Like we can't tell you, we can't

895
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,500
support you and this was a 
school was a private school with

896
00:46:12,500 --> 00:46:15,900
immense amounts of funding. 
It wasn't like a public school 

897
00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:21,000
where there's like 30,000 kids 
and so it was it was a really 

898
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,300
interesting experience and one 
that I look back on and it's 

899
00:46:23,300 --> 00:46:26,800
like kitchen have to shoulder 
that burden they shouldn't have 

900
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,500
to deal with being someone 
else's like tree. 

901
00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,900
Event coordinator and being the 
sole person. 

902
00:46:31,900 --> 00:46:35,000
That is aware that someone 
struggling to that degree. 

903
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:39,500
What's interesting that what I 
hear in that story is that 

904
00:46:39,500 --> 00:46:43,600
really sticks that really sticks
out to me is that's that does 

905
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:46,900
happen, 100% that a teen will 
tell another teen something and 

906
00:46:46,900 --> 00:46:49,200
you do feel that right? 
Like that's very common and then

907
00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:54,900
the team goes to the goes to the
Counselor, the teacher, the 

908
00:46:54,900 --> 00:46:58,300
teacher, the principal which in 
itself is scary because like, 

909
00:46:58,300 --> 00:47:00,700
then the relationship is like, 
put on the Rocks now. 

910
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:03,100
Like I don't trust you, but 
you're like, I'm really scared 

911
00:47:03,100 --> 00:47:05,300
like I shouldn't have to deal 
with this. 

912
00:47:05,300 --> 00:47:08,400
I need to go to an adult, so 
like that and itself is like a 

913
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:11,300
big step that's being taken. 
So you so that's but that's 

914
00:47:11,300 --> 00:47:13,100
normal. 
That is what happens that's 

915
00:47:13,100 --> 00:47:14,100
happening today. 
Right? 

916
00:47:14,100 --> 00:47:16,800
Now as a recording this, that's 
a kids going through that. 

917
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,900
And then you go and you report 
and then they bring the parents 

918
00:47:19,900 --> 00:47:21,600
and all of that and they're 
dealing with that and they tell 

919
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:24,100
you like what we do. 
We can't really help him right 

920
00:47:24,100 --> 00:47:26,500
now with figured out but you 
know, it's super missing and 

921
00:47:26,500 --> 00:47:30,900
that whole story is where was 
the adult that pulled you aside?

922
00:47:30,900 --> 00:47:34,000
And said, let's process what? 
You just went through, let's 

923
00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000
process, you hearing that 
information. 

924
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,300
And then having to summon, you 
know, gather that courage to go 

925
00:47:40,300 --> 00:47:43,800
say something and how are you 
feeling knowing that like 

926
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:46,000
actions not going to take in? 
Like we don't want you to carry 

927
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:47,500
this. 
It's like let's let's pray. 

928
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,900
Assess what you had to do, like,
where is that support? 

929
00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:55,300
Because that's a lot for a young
person, even in a, any human to 

930
00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:59,900
go through. 
And I just feel like We need 

931
00:47:59,900 --> 00:48:04,300
space and I we just need places 
and tool for people. 

932
00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:09,500
It's and and we need to put the 
funding towards Counseling in a 

933
00:48:09,508 --> 00:48:10,500
way. 
I mean, it's just there's so 

934
00:48:10,500 --> 00:48:14,000
much I could say about the 
systems, but I feel like even in

935
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:18,300
you sharing that it's like you 
are not also taken care of. 

936
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:23,000
Because obviously the focus was 
on this child who had expressed 

937
00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:26,800
what he had shared with you but 
you also that's a weight that 

938
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,700
you have carried when You have 
to be the you're monitoring your

939
00:48:30,700 --> 00:48:35,300
doing that and I did that a lot.
I would did that a lot growing 

940
00:48:35,300 --> 00:48:38,300
up is I would be the person that
would like to, you know, be 

941
00:48:38,300 --> 00:48:40,200
around his people that were 
struggling in. 

942
00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,700
Then I would take on their 
things and I would lose myself 

943
00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:46,200
in it. 
And I would just, and people 

944
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:48,200
would say to me, just stop 
getting involved or like I said,

945
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,900
leave it alone. 
It's not your business, but 

946
00:48:49,900 --> 00:48:52,400
that's not who I was. 
And he realized and it's life 

947
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:56,000
and death like what person would
just be like, sorry, don't tell 

948
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,800
me that I'm not interested like 
it. 

949
00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:01,200
We take on a lot. 
I mean now it makes sense 

950
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,400
because of the work that I do it
was and it was very normal for 

951
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:07,600
me. 
It was part of my personality to

952
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:12,700
care to be empathic to see that 
but like you the vibe attracts 

953
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:14,600
the tribe, right? 
And I was not in the healthiest 

954
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:16,100
place. 
I probably was not attracting 

955
00:49:16,100 --> 00:49:23,000
the healthiest Vibes attracted 
we're done right now. 

956
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:28,700
Yeah, no, it's definitely very 
interesting and it's Yeah, I 

957
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:30,700
know, it's something I felt very
strongly about. 

958
00:49:30,700 --> 00:49:32,900
After I left the therapeutic 
boarding school. 

959
00:49:32,900 --> 00:49:36,000
I was like, I want a new school.
I want a fresh start going back 

960
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,800
to my old school where I had a 
tract at this tribe, that was 

961
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:41,400
like this older version of me 
where I was severely struggling.

962
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,300
And then I suddenly was stable, 
and I was happy and I had things

963
00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:46,500
to look forward to and I felt 
really good about my mental 

964
00:49:46,500 --> 00:49:50,200
health and I was like, I want a 
new group of friends that I can 

965
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:53,400
attract with this new Vibe and 
not be back in this environment 

966
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:56,400
that doesn't fit anymore. 
And I think that's something 

967
00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:58,900
that teens, a lot of the times, 
like, don't feel They can do 

968
00:49:58,900 --> 00:50:00,600
like again. 
It's that very, like, victim 

969
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:02,800
mindset where you can't be the 
CEO of your life. 

970
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:04,300
You can't make new 
relationships. 

971
00:50:04,300 --> 00:50:07,000
You can't make these changes 
because it doesn't feel like you

972
00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:10,900
have a lot of autonomy, but you 
can no one's telling you like, 

973
00:50:10,900 --> 00:50:13,100
you have to be friends with the 
same people since preschool. 

974
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,400
You know. 
One saying that maybe Society is

975
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,100
like well that's normal. 
But you don't have to and so 

976
00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:22,800
there's a lot of power that you 
hold you just have to realize it

977
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,800
and take ownership. 
Yeah and it's yeah I definitely 

978
00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:28,100
agree with other people for 
reasons and season. 

979
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:34,600
Ins and lifetimes for sure. 
And when you change yourself, 

980
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:37,900
you know, when you have your own
when you are changing, then it 

981
00:50:37,900 --> 00:50:41,900
makes sense that you would want 
to be around different different

982
00:50:41,900 --> 00:50:44,100
people. 
I think something else that I 

983
00:50:44,100 --> 00:50:46,100
want young people are people 
that are listening to pay 

984
00:50:46,100 --> 00:50:50,500
attention to around this. 
Like CEO concept is pay 

985
00:50:50,500 --> 00:50:52,300
attention. 
If you have people in your life 

986
00:50:52,300 --> 00:50:56,400
that when you're happy, or you 
feel good about yourself, they 

987
00:50:56,400 --> 00:51:01,200
don't really like that. 
So if you, I don't know why this

988
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:06,700
happens a lot with women, but if
it's like if you feel good about

989
00:51:06,700 --> 00:51:10,100
yourself, if you're like in a if
you like like your body or you 

990
00:51:10,100 --> 00:51:12,900
just like whatever whatever is 
going on and you kind of put 

991
00:51:12,900 --> 00:51:16,500
that out and you don't chime in 
when other women are putting 

992
00:51:16,500 --> 00:51:20,400
themselves down, they don't 
really like that. 

993
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,600
So there's that scene in Mean 
Girls for, they're all standing 

994
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:28,300
in front of the mirror and 
they're like, all the girls 

995
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,700
Those are like saying like how 
ugly they are and the Katie, the

996
00:51:31,700 --> 00:51:34,300
one who's like their new friend,
like doesn't say anything. 

997
00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:36,400
And you're like, why aren't you 
saying something? 

998
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,800
And then she like ads on there 
like responding positively and 

999
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:41,800
she's like, what is happening 
here? 

1000
00:51:41,800 --> 00:51:43,100
Because they're all just 
attacking. 

1001
00:51:43,100 --> 00:51:44,500
Yeah. 
Girl, in front of the mirror, 

1002
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:47,600
but it's like that, that whole 
Mark of their friendship. 

1003
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:49,900
And it's like, what is happening
there? 

1004
00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:52,600
Yeah, I get clear, I think if 
you want to be a CEO, you're 

1005
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:54,600
building a, you're building a 
business, okay? 

1006
00:51:54,600 --> 00:51:56,400
You're building a brand. 
It's about your building a 

1007
00:51:56,408 --> 00:51:58,800
brand. 
Then you got Clear on your 

1008
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,400
values and what like my top 
three values or faith, freedom, 

1009
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,200
and families. 
So everything, those are things 

1010
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:07,200
that I value the most. 
So everything goes into those 

1011
00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:10,200
buckets or they don't. 
And we do, I don't do it, get 

1012
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:11,400
clear. 
And then the people that I 

1013
00:52:11,408 --> 00:52:17,300
attract their values should line
up to that because that would 

1014
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,000
just make sense. 
So I think getting clear on your

1015
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,500
values getting clear on your 
mission statement, I would, you 

1016
00:52:21,500 --> 00:52:25,300
know, be really fun to host a 
thing on this like getting young

1017
00:52:25,300 --> 00:52:28,000
people to with that means like 
create your own mission 

1018
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:29,700
statement. 
Moment in your life, to create 

1019
00:52:29,700 --> 00:52:33,300
your own values and then live 
live accordingly. 

1020
00:52:33,300 --> 00:52:35,400
And and it's a risky because 
you're probably going to have 

1021
00:52:35,400 --> 00:52:37,300
people leave your life, but then
it makes room for the right 

1022
00:52:37,300 --> 00:52:40,000
people to come into your life. 
Yeah. 

1023
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,800
But if you're like building a 
business of your life, your 

1024
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,500
hiring team members higher, yes,
clothes. 

1025
00:52:45,500 --> 00:52:48,300
So you have to be critical about
who you're allowing into your 

1026
00:52:48,300 --> 00:52:49,700
life. 
You have to make sure that they 

1027
00:52:49,700 --> 00:52:51,500
align with your values that 
they're fulfilling their 

1028
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:54,000
responsibilities. 
That you are fulfilling your 

1029
00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:57,300
responsibilities in relation to 
them and so you have to kind of 

1030
00:52:57,300 --> 00:52:58,800
hold yourself up to that. 
Standard. 

1031
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:01,300
You have to believe that you 
matter enough to care that much 

1032
00:53:01,300 --> 00:53:05,500
about your life. 
And I would even say instead of 

1033
00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:08,700
thinking about, you have to be 
critical, just be Discerning. 

1034
00:53:08,700 --> 00:53:11,000
I think discernment is we don't 
talk about that. 

1035
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:15,200
Enough about being Discerning 
about what you consume like who 

1036
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:18,000
you follow on Instagram. 
What you watch on television or 

1037
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,000
Netflix or stream and like who 
you spend your time with think 

1038
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,300
about if you are at the age that
you can drink. 

1039
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:26,300
I mean, I just feel like I have 
to like, put this caveat in 

1040
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:28,400
there, but no, but I'm also not 
stupid. 

1041
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:29,700
Bad. 
But you think about like, are 

1042
00:53:29,700 --> 00:53:33,700
there people that only connect 
with you over when you drink 

1043
00:53:33,800 --> 00:53:35,000
like that? 
All the memories that you have 

1044
00:53:35,000 --> 00:53:37,500
of them are people when they're 
drinking when you're drinking or

1045
00:53:37,500 --> 00:53:40,000
when you're doing something 
that's like not your highest 

1046
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:43,400
vibration then. 
Is there any friendship? 

1047
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,000
There is any romantic 
relationship. 

1048
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,200
There is any depth there. 
If you remove the thing, whether

1049
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:52,900
it's complaining, whether it's, 
you know, participating in 

1050
00:53:52,900 --> 00:53:56,000
substances to like an abuse of, 
yeah, like whatever the thing is

1051
00:53:56,000 --> 00:54:00,200
the commiserating, the Do they 
always talk about hitting their 

1052
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:01,400
body? 
Yeah. 

1053
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,200
Like whatever these things are 
and then if you remove it, like 

1054
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:05,900
do guys, is there any there 
there? 

1055
00:54:05,900 --> 00:54:11,200
And if there's not, thank you, 
you get one shot at this life. 

1056
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:14,300
Like and I mean, truly, we get 
one shot. 

1057
00:54:14,800 --> 00:54:17,600
You've got to look around and be
like the top five people. 

1058
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:20,100
You spend your time with. 
Are you cool with that? 

1059
00:54:20,100 --> 00:54:24,300
Because if you are that what 
they're dominant personality 

1060
00:54:24,300 --> 00:54:27,400
traits are yours, top five 
people are you liking it? 

1061
00:54:27,500 --> 00:54:33,800
If not. pause and like, Very 
restructure, the team. 

1062
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:39,100
We structure the sea level. 
Absolutely, I couldn't agree 

1063
00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:42,200
more. 
Well, there's so much great 

1064
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:44,400
advice in this episode that. 
I know so many teens are going 

1065
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,100
to find helpful. 
So many things, they can 

1066
00:54:46,100 --> 00:54:48,700
Implement, which is something 
that I love sharing on the 

1067
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,400
podcast. 
Because it's not just these 

1068
00:54:50,400 --> 00:54:52,700
abstract conversations. 
It's like, okay, now you go 

1069
00:54:53,100 --> 00:54:56,700
implement the things. 
Restructure, your your top five,

1070
00:54:56,700 --> 00:54:58,800
or those the values, you're in 
alignment with what's the 

1071
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,300
mission statement. 
So thank you so much, Sarah for 

1072
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:03,400
Joining me today. 
Thank you for coming on. 

1073
00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,400
She persisted. 
Where can people find you? 

1074
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:10,300
Where you can find me on 
Instagram at Miss, em ISS 

1075
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:14,700
underscore wit, wi T from there.
You can kind of find all the 

1076
00:55:14,700 --> 00:55:17,400
other things that I do. 
Because there's a length link 

1077
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:22,500
there to everything and love to 
connect with you and hear what 

1078
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,600
you got from this episode. 
And also if there's things that 

1079
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,200
I just feel like this is a 
bigger conversation, I'd love to

1080
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:32,100
hear people chime in on just how
what it looks like to be a CEO 

1081
00:55:32,100 --> 00:55:34,100
in their life and how they're 
already doing things. 

1082
00:55:34,100 --> 00:55:37,700
Because I think that would also 
inspire people to hear if you're

1083
00:55:37,700 --> 00:55:41,300
already kind of making those 
Moves In Your Life, share with 

1084
00:55:41,300 --> 00:55:45,200
people how you're doing it. 
Because remember, I'm older than

1085
00:55:45,200 --> 00:55:47,200
all of you, most of you, I'm 
sure, listening. 

1086
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:53,000
And so it's really helpful. 
When peer-to-peer share how 

1087
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:56,800
they're doing it in the real 
time in a high school setting in

1088
00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:59,900
a college setting, it's easy, 
I'm not going to, it's easier 

1089
00:55:59,900 --> 00:56:01,500
for me. 
Me to implement these things 

1090
00:56:01,500 --> 00:56:04,000
because of the life that I've 
built, you know, and where my 

1091
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:07,500
life is right now, but help each
other do these things because 

1092
00:56:07,500 --> 00:56:09,800
they will end up really helping 
you. 

1093
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,700
When you get to my age, this 
clip will be on an Instagram 

1094
00:56:13,700 --> 00:56:15,000
real. 
This is what you're watching 

1095
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,800
right now. 
So write it in the comments. 

1096
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:21,500
We want to know what it is. 
There you go, I love it. 

1097
00:56:21,500 --> 00:56:24,300
Well, thank you again. 
I'm so glad we got to do this, 

1098
00:56:24,300 --> 00:56:26,400
and I can't wait for the second 
half of this wop. 

1099
00:56:27,100 --> 00:56:32,300
Thanks for having me. 
In case you skipped the and 

1100
00:56:32,300 --> 00:56:34,800
Sarah and I had an amazing 
discussion talking about 

1101
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:38,100
becoming the CEO of your life. 
We discuss why leadership skills

1102
00:56:38,100 --> 00:56:41,900
are crucial for teens to develop
how age and worth ethic are not 

1103
00:56:41,900 --> 00:56:43,200
mutually. 
Exclusive. 

1104
00:56:43,300 --> 00:56:46,300
The first steps you should take 
to take ownership of your life, 

1105
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,900
how your interactions with 
others? 

1106
00:56:48,300 --> 00:56:51,100
Reflect how you treat yourself 
the importance of having a 

1107
00:56:51,107 --> 00:56:53,500
strong mission statement when it
comes to how you're leading your

1108
00:56:53,500 --> 00:56:55,700
life and building support 
systems. 

1109
00:56:56,100 --> 00:56:58,100
If you enjoyed this week's 
episode, make sure to share with

1110
00:56:58,100 --> 00:57:01,500
a friend or family member chere.
It on social media and tag me 

1111
00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:04,200
at, she persisted podcast. 
I will repost and give you a 

1112
00:57:04,207 --> 00:57:06,700
little shout-out. 
But yeah, thank you so much for 

1113
00:57:06,707 --> 00:57:08,300
tuning in. 
Thank you for listening. 

1114
00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:10,500
Thank you for downloading, thank
you for the support. 

1115
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,400
It means the world to me and 
I'll see you next week.