Welcome to Sheeper Assisted. I'm your host Sadie Sutton, a 19
year old from the Bay Area studying psychology at the
University of Pennsylvania. Sheeper Assisted is the teen
mental health podcast made for teenagers by a teen.
In each episode I'll bring you authentic, accessible and
relatable conversations about every aspect of mental Wellness
you can expect. Evidence based teen approved
resources, coping skills including lots of DBT insights
and education, and each piece of content you consume.
She Persisted offers you a safe space to feel validated and
understood in your struggle while encouraging you to take
ownership of your journey and build your life worth living.
So let's dive in this week on She Persisted.
When you are on any kind of trip or vacation or in a new
environment, you're not able to be an autopilot and use your
same skills and routines and you're not seeing the same
people that you do most of the time.
And so your support system is going to look a little bit
different. Your daily routine is going to
look different. So you have to be more
intentional and proactive and expect maybe a little bit more
distress than you would in your home environment.
Hello. Hello, and welcome back to She
Persisted. I am so excited you're here
today. It has been a long time since
I've done a solo episode. It's only been five episodes,
but we've skipped a couple weeks here and there.
We've been doing the minis, which you guys have really been
loving. We're charting, which is really
exciting and incredible. And I know you guys have heard
from me more because of that, but it feels like it's been a
long time since I've just sat down, caught up with you guys,
gotten to ramble for an hour in front of the microphone.
But I'm really excited for this episode because we are in the
summer season and there's a lot more holiday weekends.
If you're out of school, whether you're in high school or
college, you're probably spending a lot more time with
family. And that can bring up a lot of
emotions. Your coping skills are really
tested. And especially if you're not
used to that level of family time, it can be challenging.
And when I was thinking about this episode, I was like, is
this a universal challenge or is this something I go through?
Is this an episode where everyone's like you talking
about like, this isn't a thing? And I do feel that my experience
of this being stressful is probably a little bit
exacerbated because when I was in high school, I went to
intensive treatment for a year and a half.
And 14 months of that was at a therapeutic boarding school
where I was only really seeing my family face to face every six
weeks at the least, if not longer.
And at the beginning, it was months before I saw them and it
was like 6 months before I went home and spent a week with my
family. And so these were really drastic
differences between me being in treatment, surrounded by peers
and staff, and then going home and being surrounded by family.
And I have 3 younger siblings, we have two dogs.
Things are always happening in our house.
It's not as crazy as it used to because we're all getting older,
but it was a really stark difference and we weren't
getting that practice on a day-to-day basis of how to
handle dynamics and conflict and setting boundaries and just
passing the time. And so I remember that being one
of the most challenging experiences in treatment and
post treatment was navigating those intense periods of family
time and being like, do I have the skills?
Can I do this? Can this be a quote UN quote
success? And there was all these other
layers added on there that have to do with the troubled teen
industry, with those beliefs like you want to be good enough
to go home and you want your visit to be a success so that
you're not put farther back on your journey.
And seeing your family was a privilege, not a right.
And so there was a lot of layers on that that added to the stress
and are not typical in in treatment if you're going to an
evidence based program. But all of that to say, I have a
lot of things to say and skills to use when it comes to
navigating lots of family time or family vacations.
Because I had that odd experience of being away from
family for a really long time and then being back in that
environment and feeling like there was a lot riding on it.
And also those were periods of time where my mental health was
really struggling. And so those emotions were
amplified, coping skills weren't as solidified or affected.
And so I'm hoping that this will be universally helpful and at
least give you a couple extra skills that you can pull from
this summer or whenever you're listening to this episode.
So the first thing that I want to touch on is your social
battery and being an introvert versus an extrovert.
I had a therapy session recently and my therapist brought up
something really interesting that I've still been thinking
about, which is your mental health and social battery
getting confused and intertwined.
And I don't know about you guys, but when I think about like a
successful, happy, thriving person, a lot of the times I
picture like lots of commitments throughout the day and lots of
relationships that you're engaging in and just from point
A to point B and you're doing all these things and seeing all
these people. But I think about having to do
that on a day-to-day basis, like that sounds really exhausting
and that sounds sounds really overwhelming.
And it doesn't sound like something that would fill my cup
or make my mental health feel super great because I value time
to be alone and recharge and recover from social interactions
because I am more of an introvert.
And I think this is challenging when you've struggled with
depression or you have a tendency to avoid or you're
working on improving and building relationships because
success in those areas means being really engaged and
involved in relationships and having those commitments to go
to. But from a social battery
perspective, having time to yourself to recharge and fill up
that social battery and make sure that your mental health is
in a good place is also really important and allows you to show
up as the best version of yourself.
But we can kind of confuse refilling our social battery
with negative mental health symptoms, if that makes sense.
Like we think of someone that's depressed or lonely, they're
isolating, they're not spending time with people, they're not
out and about going from point A to point B and all of these
things. And that's also what it looks
like when an introvert is recharging and preparing to then
go and socialize and be out and about and do all the things.
And so I've been trying to have more mindfulness around when am
I refilling my social battery and when am I actively not doing
things for no reason, if that makes sense.
This is quite the ramble, but basically, I think going into
any social commitment, especially family vacations or
family time, it's really important to be aware of what
your social battery is and at what point you stop showing up
as your best self because you need time to recharge or talk to
friends or take time to yourself.
And we're going to get into how to advocate for that, but I
think that is the first piece is that awareness.
And so I think over the past last couple of years, I've
gotten much better at identifying what that line is
for me and at what point I need more time to myself and how many
hours a day or how many days I can show up as the best version
of myself. Where I'm like, OK, going to
need to read my book for a while, going to need to sit here
quietly and not actively engage. And having that awareness has
allowed me to show up as a much better version of myself rather
than expecting myself to show up 100 percent 24 hours a day,
seven days a week and getting really irritable and snappy and
not making it an enjoyable experience for everyone else.
I think that's another thing as well that I want to keep in mind
here is that it's a two way St. It's not just when do you start
to not feel your best in social interactions, but when are you
taking away from others experiences.
I know that when I have my social battery too low or I
haven't slept well or I'm hangry or I'm really stressed or I'm
focused on something for work and I'm trying to be in a social
situation, I'm not as fun to be around and it's not as fun of an
experience for other people because I'm not bringing the
best version of myself. So I think it's also important
to understand that and have that lens.
This isn't just a selfish thing to be aware of.
Like when do I feel annoyed because my social battery's low,
but also when am I starting to take away from the social
situation or this event or this time that people are spending
together because I'm not showing up as the best version of
myself. And I think when you are able to
have those boundaries and advocate correctly and and know
your limits, I think the people around you appreciate that a lot
more than you just trying to push through and show up no
matter how you feel or what's going on.
Yeah, that's my that's my thoughts.
That's my hot take. So anyways, step one is to be
really aware of what your social battery is and whether you're
more introverted or extroverted, especially around family.
And everyone has different family dynamics.
I don't know when you guys go on family vacation is like the
expectation that you're all around each other talking 24/7.
Or is the expectation, oh, it's OK if we all hang out and read
our books together or we'll all my siblings and I just like sit
in bed and we'll watch TV at the end of the day.
And we don't have to be talking or engaging or playing the game
or whatever it is. And so kind of understanding
what those guidelines look like. When will you be able to
recharge or maybe have time for yourself and going into it,
having an awareness of, of when you might need to advocate for
those pockets of time. So that's the first thing.
The second thing I would do from a preventative planning
perspective going into family vacations is be really
intentional and proactive about coping skills.
And in the early days when I was like coming home from three East
or coming home from the therapeutic boarding school to
spend time with family, that meant having a written out visit
plan and being like, if this happens, these the skills I'll
use. If I feel this way, this is who
I call. I'll call the unit twice to just
check in and let them know what skills I'm using.
It was much more scaffolded and now it's like, OK, I'm packing
like this many books so I have something to do.
I'm aiming to only be on my phone this much every day.
So I'm present and engaged. My siblings and I have an
agreement around how we spend our time after we've like come
back from an activity for the day.
My family has more of an understanding about like how
family dinners goes and that like we're not on our phones,
but we're engaging. And then other times the day
there's more times where we can relax and just hang out.
I think what's also been cool and fun about getting older and
my siblings and I no longer being young and needing adult
supervision all the time is that there is more flexibility and
space for that. Like if someone's sick or not
doing well or just really low energy, being able to like opt
out of doing something that one day and everyone else can still
have a great time. And then you spend the rest of
the day together and there's less of that pressure and
structure around. Everyone has to be together all
the time because that's just a necessity, which I'm the oldest.
So that was kind of part of family vacation for a very long
time. So I would say be very
intentional about the coping skills you're going to use and
how you're going to tolerate distress if that arises.
And if you're someone that's I am expecting a lot of distress.
I am just trying to make it through this family vacation
scaffold that a lot make a list like if I feel angry, I'm
calling this person. If I'm just feeling a little bit
anxious, I'll text this front. I've downloaded these movies for
the flight. I am downloading these books on
my Kindle so that I have something to do.
I am making sure that I am getting this many hours of sleep
every night and I'm making sure that I'm drinking enough water
and getting enough food so I'm not hungry.
And you're doing like everything possible to give yourself the
best chance emotionally. And you have a list on your
phone and you're like, I'm going to use the tip scale or I'm
going to make sure I know where the gym is in case I need to do
some intense exercise. And I'm going to remember to do
my deep breathing. And my phone screen is square
breathing, whatever it is. So you could really scaffold it
or you can have a more flexible approach and be like, I brought
books. So I have a socially acceptable
way to kind of be more introverted and spend some time
to myself. I'm going to make sure that I
text and check in with friends like twice throughout the week
just so that I am able to let out any stress if needed.
I feel good about my ability to set a boundary or bring up
something challenging with family members and I know what
to expect on a day-to-day basis. So however much scaffolding you
need, go for it. Do a lot of scaffolding, not as
much, but definitely have some idea and intentionality around
coping skills and what to do if things get overwhelming.
And on that note, now getting more into what to do when you're
actually on vacation and tolerating distress in the
moment. We're gonna do a couple skills
that you can use if you're like, I'm really freaking out.
Maybe that you're having a conflict with a sibling that's
happened many a times on our family vacation.
Maybe you're feeling anxious and you just need some time by
yourself. Maybe you're feeling a lower
mood. All of these things have
happened to me many, many, many a times.
And there's also been lots of times where I've not handled
these things effectively and it has become a whole ordeal.
But in, in the best case scenario, if you need to take
some time away and use those coping skills or you need to get
away from a dinner or an activity or you just need some
time to yourself, whatever it is, I would recommend using a
dear man. And I would definitely do an
abbreviated one because I think you won't have the emotional
capacity to like describe an expression, Sir, and reinforce
when you're like, I'm literally freaking out.
I have so much anxiety but also I think it just is more
effective based on the situation, especially if it's a
casual ask. But I would definitely make sure
to offer some description. Like we've been out and about
all day, I haven't had any time to myself.
We've been go go go since 7:00 AM this morning.
I'm feeling really anxious and overwhelmed and honestly just
having trouble being present and engaged in dinner right now.
Can I take 5 minutes, just sit outside, get some fresh air,
ground myself, and then come back to the dinner?
I think I'll be a much better version of myself and be able to
engage. And with that, you're trying to
find something that's reinforcing for the other
person. And this can be more challenging
with when you're asking time for yourself.
But I think leaning on how you'll better contribute to the
situation is a great route to go.
Hopefully they'll say, yeah, of course, that's totally fine.
Or maybe you wouldn't even have to ask in that situation.
But that's kind of an example. And maybe it's a bigger ask.
Like we've spent the last three days doing all of our activities
together all day, every day. I'm feeling really overwhelmed
and anxious. And I'm sure you've noticed that
I've been having a difficult time showing up as the best
version of myself. Would it be OK if I spent the
morning by myself and then met up with you guys this afternoon?
I really think I'll be able to show up as a better version
myself and be more engaged and hopefully bring like a better
energy to the group and make sure that everyone is having a
great time. And also the next couple of days
be more recharged and refreshed and able to participate.
And you can negotiate. And maybe it's like, no, but you
go to breakfast early by yourself and then we can meet up
for the rest of the day, whatever it is.
So those are two ways I would use your man.
I think this is a much easier and more effective ask,
especially if it's a bit preventative and proactive
rather than you like having an anxiety attack or getting in an
argument or being really snappy or irritable.
The next thing that I would also say is helpful on family
vacations, and this is something that my family has kind of
evolved and adapted over the years is having more open
communication and feedback around how trips have gone.
I think we've all in hindsight been like, that was really
stressful and there was a lot of arguing happening or like, you
know what, that was great. Everyone was in a good mood, We
all participated. There was a good balance of like
relaxing and doing activities. And we started to be more vocal
about that. And I don't know if feedback is
the right word, but kind of just like discussing how that went.
And it's great when my parents are like, you guys did a great
job on that trip and we were so proud of how you showed up and
got to spend time with everyone or everyone was like really
effective and responsible. Or you know what, it was really
busy. And I think we're all feeling a
little stressed and overwhelmed after that.
Or would have been great to have some more time where we had like
down days and just kind of hang out rather than be like go, go,
go, go, go the entire time. And I think it's a family that's
allowed us to be more intentional with how we plan
things. Shout out to my parents who are
often times planning things, but we also will sometimes take on
some of the planning roles with like dinners or lunches or
reservations or if we wanted to do an activity.
And so when people are communicating about how they
think the bounds of the trip is going, then whoever's planning,
whether it's us or my parents are able to pick, OK, we'll do
three nights where we'll go to dinner and then one night maybe
we'll plan for the chillaxed, just hang out casual night.
Or we'll do like two nice dinners where we all get dressed
up and it's a whole thing. And then the other nights we'll
do something much more chill and casual and we can just kind of
go and hang out and not have that be like a three hour long
situation. And again, this dynamic shifted
for a family as a whole. But I think if you want to be
the one that starts that and be like, I had a really great time
with how we planned this trip. And I loved our casual dinner as
I felt like we were all laughing and having a great time.
Or it was really fun that we had two nights where we all got
dressed up and got to take photos and really just had a
great time with the trip. Or we had so many activities and
we were going from point A to point B the entire time.
And I really enjoyed that one afternoon where we got to relax.
It'd be so fun if we got to do that again.
Next time you can start that conversation.
And if you have siblings or parents that chime in, I think
that's been really effective and helpful for us to kind of get a
pulse on how things are going and plan things accordingly.
And I think as a result, we all show up as better selves on
these trips. We're able to spend more time
together. It's like good quality time that
we enjoy. And no one is leaving the trip
like stressed and burnt out and overwhelmed and all the things
so communicating how the trip went for everyone and things
that they liked and wanted to incorporate more and things that
they're like, you know what, next time let's skip that.
Like one time we did a horseback ride in Oregon and we went with
our family friends and it was like 100° out, but we had fun in
the past horseback riding. And so our family friend asked
me, she was like, hey, Sadie, do you think we should do the 45
minutes or like, do you think we should do the 20 or like the 45
minute horseback ride? And was like definitely 45.
Everyone's going to love this. It's going to be so great.
Definitely the 45 minutes. And when I tell you guys, every
single 45 minutes of this was in the direct burning sunlight
desert, no shade. It was so hot.
And we're like walking through this desert and there's patches
of trees. We're like, oh, are we going to
go over there and walk the horses and the trees?
And the guide was like, no, this is the path.
We just stay here in the sun. We were all dying, we were all
overheating at the end, like almost everyone jumped into a
river to try and cool down. And after that we had a little
recap and we were like, you know what?
That was too long of a horseback ride and it was much too hot to
be doing that activity. And next time we will do the 20
minutes if a horseback ride at all.
And now we laugh about it and it's a hilarious story, but it's
helpful to communicate and make sure everyone's on the pulse for
those things because I going into it was like everyone's
going to love a 45 minute horseback ride.
Is there an option to go longer? Because this is going to be such
a hit and it was not a hit. So I think that can be really
helpful. And I know it's harder, like as
a kid to be the one starting that conversation, but I think
even if you're just doing it casually, it can be a great way
to kind of make sure everyone's on the same page and knows what
their boundaries and limits are. Another thing that's been really
helpful for me going to trips is kind of having some idea what
the activities or itinerary is going to be.
And this could be just like, OK, we are flying on these days and
we have dinner reservations on these days throughout the week
or this place is nice. This place is more casual and
I'm a little type A anxiety prone.
I like to kind of plan these things and understanding when
there will be times to relax and when there's time to we're
meeting up with friends or there's a more structured
activity that's really helpful for me to plan and not have that
anxiety of like, Oh my gosh, I don't know when I'm going to
have to be socially on and go, go, go for the entire day.
And so if you can, asking for a general idea of what that's
going to look like. And even if you're listening and
you're an adult and you're planning your own trip with
friends, I think this is something that's really easy to
do for yourself and putting on your calendar and just blocking
things that and being like, OK, this time we have dinner and
this day we said we were going to get breakfast at this time.
This is when we have to drive here.
And so this is the block where if I need time to myself, this
is when I do that. And you can literally do that in
your. Normal routine throughout the
week, but especially if there's more things changing, that's
really important. I think it's kind of the TLDR
here is when you are on any kind of trip or vacation or in a new
environment, you're not able to be an autopilot and use your
same skills and routines and you're not seeing the same
people that you do most of the time.
And so your support system is going to look a little bit
different. Your daily routine is going to
look different. So you have to be more
intentional and proactive and expect maybe a little bit more
distress than you would in your home environment.
Another thing that I will throw into this general concept of
checking in and getting a pulse on how people are doing.
Early on, when I would go home and visit from when I was in
treatment or I would spend the weekend with my parents when
they came to see me at residential, we would have these
more daily structured check insurance where it was like, how
are you doing? Are you feeling depressed?
Are you feeling anxious? How are urges going?
And it was much more structured so that they were able to check
in with me. I was able to practice being
more vulnerable and communicating my needs.
But I think that idea has kind of continued to be something
that's helpful on in these family vacations and in these
dynamics. But if you are someone who is
expecting the strip to be very stressful and overwhelming or
expecting distress to arise, putting in those more structured
check insurance and like at night, can we just talk about
how the day went and how I'm feeling and if it was really
anxiety provoking or if things are going OK or like if I'm
feeling depressed or actually everything's fine.
So I did want to add that on there where it can be more
structured and adapt beyond just like, hey, how did that go for
everyone? And then the next thing that I
wanted to touch on is specific coping skills that I pull from
when I'm on family vacations or specific coping skills that are
easy to use. And these kind of environments
where you're away from home, you don't have your normal routine,
you're not able to probably like call your friends or reach out
to your normal support system. The first one that I would
definitely go for is stop. This is from the DBT distress
tolerance module and it's stop. Take a step back, observe and
proceed mindfully. And I think this is really
helpful in interpersonal situations, whether there's
conflict or you're just around different people than normal.
If you're in a new environment and you're feeling more anxious
or lonely or overwhelmed or just not at ease, being able to stop
and like physically or mentally take a step back from the
situation. Observe not only what's going
wrong around you, maybe it's what the other person said,
maybe it's how you reacted, but also emotionally, how am I
feeling? What am I thinking?
Am I sweating or my fist clenched?
Am I feeling like I'm going to start crying?
Whatever it is, being really mindful of that and then coming
up with a plan to proceed mindfully.
Like what skills am I going to use?
Am I going to use a dear man? Am I going to try and take 5
minutes to myself? Am I going to advocate for time
for myself tomorrow? Am I going to reflect on this
during our nightly check in and all the things we just talked
about? Whatever it is, I think stop
skill is always a really great place to start.
There are also a lot of skills that I learned in especially
group therapy around navigating anxiety and settings like
restaurants or just when you're around a lot of people and one
of them was padding, like crossing your arms over your
chest, so one hand is on each shoulder and alternating padding
those hands. So your arms are crossed and you
pat your left shoulder, then your right shoulder, your left
shoulder, then your right shoulder.
I don't know if this is actually accurate, but basically when we
use our right hand, we're activating the left side of our
brain. When we use our left hand, we're
activating the right side of our brain.
And so the idea is that by tapping those alternate sides,
UA have something very tactile to focus on.
And you're trying to repeat this pattern, which kind of takes you
out of the mental. But apparently it also helps
with like your brain signals and using both sides of your brain.
But at least having the pattern and something physical to focus
on is very calming. And you line it up with your
breath. Deep breathing is a huge one,
especially if you're in like a family environment or you're
having conflict or you're in a restaurant and things are just
busy. That is a skill you can use
anywhere. I really like counting as well,
counting things around you. Maybe there's floor tiles and
you're counting however many of them you can see, or you are
counting as high as you can and multiple.
So your brain is working a little bit to kind of think
about what's coming next. Another good one that most
people have heard of is five things you can see, four things
you can hear, three things you can touch, two things you can
smell, one thing you can taste. I might have gotten the any
order wrong, but that's another great counting one that you can
do anywhere, anytime. I'm a very good mental pep talk
girl. Like it's going to be OK, you're
going to get through this. We're doing our deep breathing,
we're counting things around us. It is going to be all right.
And just kind of having that on repeat in my head.
It kind of breaks up the thoughts, but also it's very
encouraging and mentally is very helpful for me.
You guys know that like if it's a panic attack, I love, love,
love and ice dive. We just did a mini episode about
how to survive a panic attack and, and you should listen to
that, I'll link it in the show notes.
But that gives you some really tactile and tangible skills that
you can use if you like, absolutely need to tolerate some
extreme distress. Then we talked about some
communication skills that you can pull from and use.
I think over communicating in these situations, how you're
feeling, how it's going is really helpful and appreciated
by other people. And also distraction.
I think especially when you're in a new environment and it's
for a short period of time, distraction is warranted.
And OK if you're not familiar with distraction as a coping
skill, we want to use that very short term because we can't just
avoid everything forever. It's going to get more
overwhelming and come back bigger and bite us in the butt.
But if you're like on a family vacation and you're in a
restaurant and it's feeling really overwhelming, reading
your book or talking to someone instead of thinking about and
sitting with that emotion in that moment.
Or if you're anxious about traveling and going on a flight
or being in a car for a long time, whatever it is, watching a
movie you like, watching a show you like, reading a book that
you've been wanting to read. Those distraction skills can be
really helpful in that short term when it's a short amount of
time that you expect to experience anxiety.
And then you guys know I talk about this all the time, but
emotional vulnerability is like how susceptible you are to
experiencing intense emotions. And being on a family vacation
is like a master class in emotional vulnerabilities
because you're in a new place, you're not going to have your
same night routine and sleep routines.
Your sleeps probably going to be a little bit off.
It's not as easy to get in your normal scheduled meals and
snacks. So you might be a little bit
more hangry. You're using a different support
system. You're around people more than
you are normally. All of these things add to your
emotional vulnerabilities. So doing anything that you can
to boost that emotional vulnerability, which is what
we're talking about in this episode, like preparing as far
as the coping skills you're going to use and setting
boundaries and having those check insurance put in place,
all of those things will help reduce and prevent that as much
as possible. And then the last thing that I'm
going to mention for this episode is reinforcing and
expressing gratitude around these boundaries or skills that
you're setting. If you were in treatment process
or you and your family are like working on things in therapy or
you're getting better at being vulnerable and they're getting
better at validating whatever it is, anything that you can do to
reinforce those behaviors in your siblings or your parents or
even yourself, do some self validation is huge.
So if you set your boundary of like, can I spend 5 minutes
outside doing some deep breathing and then I'll be right
back in a better version of myself?
And your parents are like, sure, go for it when you come back.
Thank you so much. That was really, really, really
helpful for me to describe myself.
I'm feeling a lot better and I really appreciate you guys
accommodating that request. Can I spend tomorrow morning by
myself and then regroup and be way more present and
participate? Sure.
I guess that's fine. We don't really have anything
planned. Thank you so much.
This really allowed me to recharge and I'm really excited
to engage and be more present. And I have all my coping skills
and I spent this time really thinking about how I can be the
best version of myself. And I really hope you can see
that during the next couple of days where you check in.
You're like, today was really anxious and overwhelming and I
honestly was kind of stressed, but I I use my coping skills and
I was proud of myself. And your parents are like, OK,
that's great. Thank you so much for sharing
with us. We're so proud of you for using
your coping skills and let us know if there's anything we can
do. If you're feeling anxious, you
respond, reinforce. Thank you so, so, so much for
saying that. That really means a lot to me.
You have no idea how much it feels good to feel heard and
seen and respected. I just appreciate you guys
listening and being willing to hear me check in and tell you
how the day went for me. Anything like that you can do,
go for it. That's how you reinforce his
behaviors and increase the likelihood of them happening
again. And then afterwards we talked
about like, OK, check in with the group, what went well, what
didn't, how was the balance? But also you can afterwards do
reinforcement of the things that were helpful.
Like I really, really, really appreciated how you guys
structured this this way. I really appreciate that you
guys made the time every night to check in with me and see how
things were going. Really appreciated that you guys
were mindful and OK with me going outside to do my deep
breathing or spending time to myself at the end of the day so
I could read my book and just kind of recharge a little bit,
reinforce those at the end of the trip.
And also gratitude for people making space for that is another
big thing. So those are my family vacation
skills, ideas, tips, tricks. Basically the idea here is that
you're going to have more emotional vulnerability because
you're not in your normal routine and you're not using
your normal support system, and there's going to be stressors
that you can't control and solve for.
So what we're going to do is we're going to communicate that
ahead of time to the people around us.
We're going to set boundaries and make sure we're showing up
as the best version of ourselves.
And that could be maybe related to your social battery or if
you're stressed or overwhelmed, you need to take some time to
yourself. Whatever it is, we're going to
be really preventative and proactive with our coping
skills. Make sure we have a plan going
in, lean on distraction if that's necessary because this is
a short term situation. And then afterwards,
communicate, recap, discuss how it went for everyone, and
reinforce as much as possible the things that worked and went
well. Especially if in the past family
vacations meant like more arguing or bickering or conflict
or whatever it is. Reinforcing things that went
well and boundaries that were respected is really, really
huge. I would love to hear from you
guys if this was helpful. What are your tips for family
vacations? Did I forget anything?
Do you have any funny stories? Let me know.
And I also want to really, really, really emphasize here
that we've had a lot of bad family vacations.
I think any point when I was depressed and anxious, I was
like the worst participant and member on the family vacation.
I also missed so many because I was in treatment or I just
couldn't go. I wasn't mentally in the spot.
The mental health was the priority at that point and I
just couldn't show up for those things at that time because I
was like going to group therapy everyday or whatever it was.
So if you're listening to this and you're like wow, you sound
great, but like I am struggling to do my deep breathing as the
only skill I'm using. I get it.
I've been there. And again, I have not been the
best person myself on many a family vacation and luckily my
parents and siblings have given me a lot of grace with that.
And I think we're in a really good spot now, which is really
cool. And so I hope these tips are
helpful. Give yourself grace.
You will get there. I'm still getting there.
It is a journey. And yes, let me know what you
guys think and I'll talk to you on Monday for a mini.