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17847 Coach. 
I have a date tomorrow evening 

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with a girl. 
She has very high interests. 

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I'm feeling out of the weather, 
but she doesn't mind. 

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What do you think? 
Well, it really depends on how 

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sick you are. 
I mean, if you got like snot 

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running down your face, you 
know, and you're sneezing 

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constantly, you probably don't 
want to do that. 

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My funny story, my old my old 
business partner back in the 

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day, we were hanging out at the 
office one night. 

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We would usually get like 
Domino's Pizza, thin crust, by 

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the way, little extra sauce, 
have a few beers. 

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There was like ABC liquor right 
next door and he'd be like, hey,

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go get us some beer. 
And so I go get us a six pack. 

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We'd order some pizza. 
Then he would like start telling

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stories and stuff. 
And so we, he was telling a 

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story like he was in high school
and he had asked this girl out 

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that he really liked and she 
went out on a date with him. 

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And so they're like in a steak 
restaurant and, and he he like 

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hacked and then like a loogie 
came right out of his throat, 

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one of those like oyster style 
ones and pull it lands like 

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right on her stake and she's 
looking at it like she's kind of

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mortified. 
He was so embarrassed. 

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He just got up and, and walked 
away from the table and left. 

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I was like, you didn't go back, 
You didn't do anything. 

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He's like, no man, He was so 
embarrassed by it. 

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Was told she doesn't feel safe 
with me anymore. 

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Asked what I did and the answer 
was well if you don't know, I 

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can't help you. 
Yeah, it's pretty hard to work 

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something out, but it sounds 
like you don't understand how 

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attraction works, so probably 
you're not leading. 

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You weren't leading the 
interaction. 

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You're being a little too soft, 
a little too nice, too much of A

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people pleaser. 
In other words, when a woman 

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says she doesn't feel safe, she 
doesn't feel like you're up to 

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the task of leading her as a 
man. 

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And women don't want to teach 
you how to be a man and how to 

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lead. 
And that's why she says, well, I

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can't help you. 
So I would say read my book if 

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you haven't already. 
And if you have, you probably 

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should read it again because the
fact that a woman is saying 

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something like that to you and 
you don't know what it means, it

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tells me you don't understand 
how attraction works. 

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You don't recognize how your 
behavior is turning women off. 

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So you got to fill in your 
knowledge gap and figure that 

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out. 
He says they've been married for

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22 years. 
They've been married for 22 

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years. 
Well, you're clearly not 

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leading. 
Jason, I've been dating a girl 

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who is borderline structured. 
I was into her and she slowly 

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started to open up but then I 
lost the traction and ended it 

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two months. 
Should I try again now or in a 

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few months? 
Why would you want? 

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The only reason he wants to go 
back is he didn't find anybody 

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better. 
That's what happened. 

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Most guys, they break up with a 
girl 'cause what they they 

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realize, and most guys have had 
this experience. 

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When you're single, it seems 
like there's no women around. 

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And as soon as you get a 
girlfriend, there's all these 

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women come out of the woodwork 
hitting on you. 

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And if you're not really happy 
with the person that you're with

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and then all these girls are 
hitting on you think, you know 

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what, I'm going to break up with
this girl and date all these 

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other women that are into me. 
I'll clean up. 

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And as soon as you become single
again, your whole vibe changes 

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and, you know, you no longer 
behave the same way. 

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And then all of a sudden, those 
women disappear. 

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And then if you haven't found 
anybody within 90 days, then you

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want to go running back to her 
because you're afraid you're not

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going to find anybody better. 
So it sounds like you already 

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made a decision. 
She wasn't the right girl. 

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So let her go find somebody 
that's going to really care 

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about her instead of wasting her
time and yours. 

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You go back. 
I mean, everything that turned 

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you off about her is still 
there. 

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If the only problem she brings 
up constantly is that I don't 

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reach out first enough to show I
care, should I do that or just 

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let her complain about it to 
death? 

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She's loving and easygoing all 
other times. 

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All she's basically saying is 
she wants to feel like you care.

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So maybe once a week you call 
her, you text her. 

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Hey, you thinking about you have
a great day, Call her up. 

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Hey, you got a few minutes in 
between meetings, Just want to 

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hear your voice, let you know, 
think about you. 

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I love you and have a great day,
babe. 

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I'll see you tonight, that's 
all. 

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Sporadically, you write a nice 
little card and you write a 

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bunch of things that you love 
about her and mail it to her or 

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mail it to her office or 
something like that so she gets 

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it randomly and unexpectedly. 
Maybe another time you write a 

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nice little e-mail. 
Hey, going through emails, 

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messaging people. 
So do I reach out to my queen, 

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tell you a bunch of things I 
love about you? 

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Hope you're having a great day, 
Princess. 

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See you tonight. 
Whatever. 

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That's all she's saying. 
She just wants to feel like you 

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care more than you've shown so 
far. 

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So surprise her differently 
every week. 

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It's always fun because girls 
are always like this when you're

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in a relationship and you get a 
text or a phone call. 

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Hey, you, are you home? 
Are you at the office? 

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I'm in your neighborhood. 
Can I come by? 

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It's like, of course. 
Get your ass over here. 

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Let's go eat. 
Let's go do a nooner.