1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,000 I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse we're. 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,040 Cannabis school having cannabis infused conversations with 3 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:09,880 everyday. People. 4 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,120 Cannabis companies. Celebrities. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,160 And your mom? Welcome to the sash, dude. 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:19,320 It made me realize so much. So you're close to Kim. 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,240 You know, I could text you all day. 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:28,800 And yeah, that makes total sense because there are times I call 9 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,960 you and I'm like, I wonder if I'm bothering him. 10 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,560 And I'm like, no, he's an Octagon. 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,520 He doesn't fucking care. And then we start talking and I 12 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,280 can tell about like a little way through. 13 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,320 I'm like, I'm just rambling. And you're just like, yeah, 14 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,080 we'll have. And I can tell you're just like, 15 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:47,160 I gotta get shit done. And I'm like, oh man, now I 16 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:51,640 realize that and all I'm like dude, whenever we if it. 17 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,000 Depends on the time. Sometimes I really don't mind 18 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,160 and then sometimes I don't think and then I'm like, but sometimes 19 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:00,080 I'm like, oh, I've got to go, but I don't like we're still 20 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,680 talking. I'm going to let him finish like 21 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:03,600 whatever thought and train and do that. 22 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,319 And here's what I just go in a bit. 23 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,800 Here's what I want you to start being able to do with me. 24 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,640 And this is really good. This is great. 25 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:13,520 Understanding this brand. We, we are going to get we're, 26 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:14,840 we're not going to fight anymore. 27 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:18,160 I guarantee it, dude, we're not going to fight anymore because I 28 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:22,800 understand now more because I was treating you as if you were 29 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,280 an Octagon. And, and This is why I say this, 30 00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:28,560 because the perception of what we think we are as opposed to 31 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:31,840 the behaviors that we show are completely different. 32 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,760 And so you, you are you, you do desire all these things. 33 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,640 But one of the things that's hard for you, you've gotten 34 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,080 better at it. But getting in front of a large 35 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,200 group of people, that can be a little nerve wracking for me for 36 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,920 sure. I don't feel anything. 37 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,120 I don't feel anything at all. I'd be like. 38 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,600 Yeah, blah blah blah blah blah. See, to me it's like. 39 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,720 It takes a while. Even like the fucking state 40 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,840 thing And I'm like, this is a Zoom meeting you're talking 41 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,640 about Anna, this. But that's OK, man, because 42 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,040 here's the thing too, man. And and I'll be. 43 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:07,600 I'll be exact and short with this, the fact that I know that 44 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,760 you value time so much. Just stresses me out. 45 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,840 I think that's. Funny though, because no, but 46 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,200 that's OK dude. That's that's not something that 47 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,000 is bad. No. 48 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,760 Is that gone? No, but the sash one. 49 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,800 What do you want to smoke for the sash? 50 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:29,000 Let's keep going on this and we can mix a little bit of or. 51 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,400 I mean, I don't want to. I don't want to waste that. 52 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,320 No, no, I figured we'd smoke it, but I want to toss in some of 53 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,320 this too. Yeah, let's let's do that. 54 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,280 That'd be a good good combo if. We get to that. 55 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:40,720 OK, All right, continue. Sorry. 56 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:46,160 So no dude, you're good, you're good. 57 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,720 You know what? Why don't, why don't I finish 58 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,800 that off? Why don't you use the Venti and 59 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,880 get the other one in you right now? 60 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,880 Because you can do that and not become fuck inebriated. 61 00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,480 That's true. That would be a good one. 62 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:07,280 So anyways, knowing that how much you value time, it, it 63 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,240 helps me to understand. It makes me not regret, but 64 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:14,680 keeps me now aware of it. So this is what I'm going to do 65 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:17,280 for now on. I'm going to text you unless 66 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,160 it's just a really cool idea and I need to talk to you. 67 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:20,240 I'm just going to call you straight up. 68 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:24,080 But oh, I know you do dude. I'm not saying that, but there 69 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:28,120 are times when it's not a good time, right? 70 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:31,560 Now have been figured out because I figured usually it was 71 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,160 when I was editing because I couldn't edit and talk. 72 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,920 No, no, no. And I actually appreciate that 73 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,440 because you've done that. It's helped me to structure 74 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,440 where I don't talk to anybody during that time. 75 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,360 That's work time. And so now I don't work in my 76 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,400 room. I don't work for my bed. 77 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,800 I work out in the living room in my giant fucking chair and I 78 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,320 just work there. I won't work anywhere else. 79 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:57,360 I did it on the table, didn't get as much done because my mind 80 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,920 has now attached the heuristic to the chair. 81 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,480 So it's cool, it's a, it's a good anchor. 82 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,080 I find, yeah, I'm way more effective when I go sit down at 83 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:12,040 my desk in my office and I sit there and I work because then I 84 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,280 go, OK, this is my work spot. But when I was hurting, I'd find 85 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:18,240 that I would send the emails on the couch sometimes just hurt so 86 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,959 bad. But like. 87 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,040 You can give yourself exceptions, but you still won't 88 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,040 be as productive. You just won't. 89 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,880 You can't. I love doing work work in there, 90 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:34,080 but now that I figured it out and most of it is my editing 91 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:38,000 time, I can't really be productive and edit because I 92 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,880 can't listen to you and listen to the show or do that. 93 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,120 So that's been my only issue. But then now that I text edit, 94 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:48,200 it's been like, I can actually edit because I can read and 95 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,760 listen to you because I'm like, Oh yeah, no, where do I need to 96 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,880 cut? OK, here's a gap that's this 97 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,560 many seconds. Here's the thing for me. 98 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,400 So since you know that I don't, it's not that I don't value time 99 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,840 is that? Concept of. 100 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,720 Time I don't care about. It's not real to me because it's 101 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,080 going to happen anyways. It's a, it's a, it's a natural 102 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,920 order of chaos. The sun's going to come either 103 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,200 way. The moon's going to come either 104 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:15,960 way. I can't do anything about that. 105 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,520 So it's me disassociate. This is something I've learned 106 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:23,400 recently about myself. So what I do though is I care 107 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,880 deeply about other people and their feelings. 108 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:31,400 I'm a very emotional guy so. But that's part of my behaviors 109 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:35,760 and I know why a lot of it comes stem from childhood of why I 110 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,200 need this constant need for approval. 111 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,160 But now I know I don't need that. 112 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,800 So I've been doing a lot better mentally for myself because. 113 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:46,640 You're not seeking that. But for you, because time is so 114 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,040 important, you feel bad when you're not able to do stuff for 115 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,040 other people when you're not like this makes sense. 116 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,280 Like when we worked it, this always comes to my mind, like, 117 00:05:56,600 --> 00:06:00,720 and, and I always, I, I felt bad because when we did Bennett's 118 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:05,920 thing, your face showed like honestly, the only other time 119 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,040 I've ever seen that face is like in World War 2 movies when the 120 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,480 Germans are coming and they're out of bullets. 121 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,640 Like you're just like, like you just. 122 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,080 Felt like failure on the very first attempt. 123 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:21,240 But I, I always go, there's always another way. 124 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,880 Like I don't let those things that are circumstantial. 125 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:29,440 My my belief is that my time spent connecting with others and 126 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,560 growing with others. You get the alcohol, aren't you? 127 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,560 Fuck gross. You got to let it dry. 128 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,480 You got to. Figure holding that out because 129 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,840 that's going to be horrible, yeah. 130 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,680 Dude, why don't you go get well, let's just smoke it. 131 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,440 But anyways, dude, to to wrap that up and we'll get right into 132 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,920 our show. Thank you, because now I 133 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,640 understand you more. I'm going to send you a couple 134 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:57,640 of different shapes. That's super common though, man. 135 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,920 I I don't want you to think like I was thinking you were cheating 136 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,320 or anything. Oh no, it's just. 137 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,320 Right. There answer what we think and 138 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,800 it. Well, because it's what you what 139 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,360 we want. I you know how many times I 140 00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:11,560 tested and I got circle lot 5 times and tell Kim does fit 141 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,440 Kim's like. She's like you're not a circle. 142 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,840 You're not a circle. She's like, you are not a 143 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:19,080 circle. And I was like, all right, I'll 144 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,800 take it again. And when I took it again and I 145 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:22,600 read it and I was like, that makes sense. 146 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,680 So it, it just makes me understand you so much more. 147 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,280 And if you don't mind, I'm going to, I'm going to help guide you 148 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,880 in certain ways for you to feel like you're more in control of 149 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,440 everything in your situations, including your conversations. 150 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,200 This is what helps me more when I understand others, then I go, 151 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:44,080 oh shit, I do and say things that probably fucking infuriate 152 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:47,960 you and it's because not because you don't understand how I'm 153 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,200 coming because I don't understand what you prefer and 154 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,400 how to communicate. There's easy ways that I can 155 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:57,360 turn it around and going don't use that word, use this. 156 00:07:57,360 --> 00:07:59,160 Word. Most the time the words don't 157 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,240 bother me because it's like taking offense to a sound and 158 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,200 most the time the word is just another phrase for another 159 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,440 similar word and those can be interchangeable like. 160 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,360 Pretty simply, but it also does. It does count. 161 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,720 You can't change that. Your linguistics paired with 162 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:21,440 your tone have to be In Sync. So if you say something such as 163 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,760 hey, you want to go to the store or do you want to go to the 164 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:28,080 store right now, it's totally different. 165 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,280 It's like, fuck you. And the other ones, like, hey, I 166 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,520 got an idea, right? As opposed to being able to list 167 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,600 things out, it's going to take nutmeg, it's going to take 168 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,559 cinnamon, it's going to take sugar. 169 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:44,240 So when I'm listing things out, these are the tones I keep 170 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:45,800 asking. But I, I, you know, that's 171 00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:47,240 another thing. You, you really. 172 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:50,640 Anyways, I'm not going to go too much far than that. 173 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,240 What do you do for hobbies man? Everything. 174 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:54,720 No, no, no. But like, what do you do? 175 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:57,320 What's 1 of the things that you just, like, enjoy? 176 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,360 I know you can't long board what you loved, and that last wreck 177 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:02,800 kind of fucked you up. Motorcycles, long boarding, 178 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:07,760 snowboarding. OK. 179 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,880 OK, I I really I loved archery, but I feel like I don't have the 180 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,720 great spot for it right now. Dude, right when we get we're 181 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:19,160 going to get passes to Jake's Archery down the road. 182 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,720 Oh yeah, there's one real close. Yeah, super close. 183 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:23,720 So we're going to get passes to there. 184 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:26,720 The other thing I. Want to get compound bows with 185 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:28,560 the sights? Oh yeah, I want to learn. 186 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:33,160 Those Emily's dad has that. He has this little goblin, he's 187 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,360 like that tall, that big, with a target on his center. 188 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:39,360 He sets that out in his backyard, nothing behind it but 189 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:45,160 a brick wall, and he shoots at that and he puts it in tiny 190 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,880 little target like he is. He is accurate, yeah. 191 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,880 And I mean. Holy shit if we could do that 192 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,880 like that would be insane. Yeah, dude, totally like, but 193 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,720 knowing that dude. OK, so last thing before we go 194 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,840 into it, and this is something I really want you to think deeply 195 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:06,000 about for the rest of this week. When rectangles do not have 196 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:10,440 their hobby and they're not doing it frequently and others 197 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,760 don't respect their time, they become out of balance. 198 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,040 And that's when you find that you feel down that feel 199 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:23,280 unproductive. So and this that doctor I worked 200 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,840 with over there at that place. Why can't the other thing is you 201 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,680 guys are research whores. You love to research everything. 202 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:32,520 You will research a product up and down. 203 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,680 That makes sense after our conversations about Beamers. 204 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:38,440 Not and I'm just like puts gas cargoes, but you're like well. 205 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,920 I do, yeah, I do. Crazy in depth research makes 206 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,880 everything for him. That makes sense. 207 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:48,480 So that it's like everything I buy, like our washer and dryer 208 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,920 is like the top consumer reported rated ones. 209 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,000 Because I had spent forever. Because I'm like, I've replaced 210 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,280 this shit so many times. I've been here maybe 10 years. 211 00:10:56,520 --> 00:11:00,120 I've replaced fucking three times on my God damn washer. 212 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,120 At least 2 fucking dryers. You know how I bought? 213 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,280 I bought our washers. Used half the time. 214 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,160 No, no. That looks cool. 215 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:11,040 Let's get that. Yeah, see, I'm like, I'm like, I 216 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,320 don't. I hate paying for shit all the 217 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:17,120 time and I hate when it breaks. So then I'm like, I want, I just 218 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,240 want good stuff that lasts. Dude, that washer. 219 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,000 I want good quality. The washer and dryer stuff have. 220 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:25,120 We've had that since Max was 3. That's fantastic. 221 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:30,040 Ten years and it's still. Going my mom's is a Maytag one 222 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:32,080 from when they built. Mine's a Maytag. 223 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:36,680 They built the home on Grandview that is 20 years plus so it 224 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:39,800 still works fantastic. That crazy dude like I'm. 225 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:41,920 Like what in the world? But that's that's the thing 226 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:44,360 though, man, like when you research and all those things 227 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:48,280 like, oh dude, man, precious time is definitely precious 228 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,360 time. And, and that's something that 229 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,960 Pete used to do. He instilled into site Smash 230 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,280 with all of the workers. There was a clock on the wall 231 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,400 and he had marked 2 spots. And he's like, if the big hand 232 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,360 goes here to here, that is precious time. 233 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:07,960 The only time you can take a personal call is in the hallway, 234 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,720 out in the main hallway, not in the office. 235 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,680 And dude, they got so much shit done. 236 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,600 So much shit done. So you know what I would do is 237 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,920 block out certain things and invite me on your calendar and 238 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:25,120 market precious time. So I know that I shouldn't 239 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,360 disturb you. Now, the reason why you kept 240 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:32,280 going, dude, no, your, your belief in relationships is that 241 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:36,240 you don't give yourself to everyone. 242 00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:39,000 When you said that when you're like, I don't, I was smiling 243 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:43,320 because I'm like, dude, you, you treat close relationships and 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,280 that's it. You don't want to get to you're, 245 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,040 you're very interesting of people and rightfully so. 246 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,920 And a lot of things have happened in your life because of 247 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,960 that. And so you're really, really 248 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,840 cautious, but you were, you've always been a cautious person. 249 00:12:56,040 --> 00:13:00,160 I still I still love and accept and treat everyone the same 250 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:03,720 right as far as like they're the same equal person. 251 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,040 I value them the same but like my relationship and my 252 00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:10,360 connection to certain people is deeper and so they. 253 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,960 They get. They will always have priority 254 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,560 on my time. But the thing. 255 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:20,040 Is like I value them. But if if we value you more, we 256 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,400 value the way that you like to be valued, it change. 257 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,400 But if I don't know how I like to be valued, I I do, how can I 258 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,200 communicate that to other people? 259 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:32,560 So one of the great things about this system is that I, I, I just 260 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,800 tell people what I prefer. So when I tell people I'm like, 261 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,320 hey, I have a tendency to talk too much. 262 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:42,240 I literally say that in every networking meeting now and they 263 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,840 go and I'll stop myself. I'm like hey am I talking too 264 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:47,280 much? Because I'm now more self aware 265 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,400 of that. Yeah, well, if you understand 266 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:53,120 how you work and navigate, because The thing is, honestly, 267 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,880 there's things that I found in every shape that it was, you 268 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,920 know, hey, here's this shape. Of course. 269 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,280 Yeah, I can see some of me in that. 270 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:02,480 Of course. Here's this shape. 271 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,840 OK, Yeah, I can see some of me in that, you know. 272 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,560 But again, it's always like, it's like every other test I 273 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,560 take. Yeah. 274 00:14:08,560 --> 00:14:10,800 I mean, I it to me, it's like a horoscope. 275 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,320 You're gonna feel this way. Don't do this today. 276 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,600 OK, Cool. That's great. 277 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,800 Like, I won't because that makes sense. 278 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,480 You know, people you know, that's probably a smart thing to 279 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:21,960 do. So that's what I thought when I 280 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,880 first had it and then as I started to go through it, it 281 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:29,840 wasn't that way at all. It started to be able to look at 282 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,080 like where are some of the things? 283 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,600 So I'll, I'll just point out it just a couple of things real 284 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:35,840 quick. Where's mine? 285 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:39,880 So I don't want it to be like where you're like, Oh yeah, you 286 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,000 know, that's about me. But here's some of the things. 287 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:46,120 So like, you ever see me to be a little bit of controlling of 288 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,880 things? I can be controlling, right? 289 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,400 Critical, competitive. I am very competitive. 290 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:54,400 I'm blunt. I'm bossy sometimes, high 291 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,080 expectations, dramatic, know it all. 292 00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,720 Complaining needs to be right. Judge mental, jealous, offended 293 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,440 easily. Get that in your down negative. 294 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,000 States that's when I'm in a fierce state whenever I'm doing 295 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,080 these things, you know I'm in a fierce state. 296 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,800 So you you don't call it like what's your fear state? 297 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,800 Just going dude, you OK right now? 298 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,760 Take some perspective and I'll be like fuck and that's why I'll 299 00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:20,720 usually stop but I can get caught into. 300 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:24,600 I realize that a lot of our a lot of our arguments and 301 00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,240 frustrations have come from fears. 302 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:31,480 Yeah, but the reason why is I don't understand you because I 303 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,200 believe because you've taken it so many times, I was treating 304 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:39,000 you as a thought that it was OK. That's why. 305 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,880 Because not because I I read something, it's because I 306 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:43,920 understand what octagons are like. 307 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:48,400 And so there was no opposition. So I'm like, oh, I'm OK, we're 308 00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,960 on the right page. And I just kept talking now, 309 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:59,480 yeah, Lerner intelligence you value intelligence and 310 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,640 experiences freedom using their talents, core desires, pursue 311 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,560 all of their interest and learn all they can. 312 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:11,280 Talents being good at everything core fear, failure, loss of 313 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:16,400 time, undervalues, vulnerability, restrictions, 314 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,040 emotions. Not like you don't, but I'll get 315 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,640 to that. Weaknesses, selfishness, 316 00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:27,840 opinionated, needs, validation, appreciation, support for their 317 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,880 interests. OK, that's huge. 318 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,680 So here's in a in a, in a clarity state, you're a high 319 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,800 achiever, you're smart. That's very true. 320 00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:38,440 You're organized, very organized, motivated. 321 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,480 Dude, Everyday you're like, I figured out how to get my whole 322 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,920 day going. Strategic. 323 00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:48,080 You plan out your day Neat, proper, careful, wise, frugal. 324 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,920 Well, yeah, good. With money you can be good. 325 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,280 With friends you're awesome with friends, adventurous. 326 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,880 Dude you get on long boards I'm like fucking psycho. 327 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,400 Passionate, good at everything, good at everything. 328 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,920 Meaning you can learn things quickly and apply them. 329 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,400 Now here's in a fear state. Attention seeking, 330 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:09,880 self-centered, emotional, dramatic, Moody, materialistic, 331 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:14,440 high maintenance, unrealistic, bad with budgets, angry, 332 00:17:14,599 --> 00:17:18,720 defensive, protective. So those when you start. 333 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,520 Yeah, right. So when you're doing these 334 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,000 things, like when you're going back and forth and you're just 335 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,400 like, fuck, like when you're like, I'm pissed, but I don't 336 00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,280 know why. So what I do to myself is I go, 337 00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:33,320 all right, Jess, what's your state are you in right now? 338 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,080 And I, I, because I have a photographic memory, I go, oh, 339 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,440 I'm doing this. And then what I do is I stop 340 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:45,640 myself and I give myself a pause and I go, wait, is this because 341 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,200 you can't control it or you're going to, are you going to lose 342 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:54,440 something or are you going to be a failure? 343 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,840 And when you said failure with Bennett, that's why I, I smiled 344 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:02,000 again, because I'm like, oh, your core fear is failure. 345 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,800 No wonder why you look like the Nazis were coming at you and you 346 00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,920 ran out of bullets, because that to you, is worse than having to 347 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,240 face the music. And that's why we're such a good 348 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:15,320 pair on that because I just went, oh, yeah, dude, we hit a 349 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,880 snag. It's going to be about an hour. 350 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,000 And they're like, all right, we'll go get some pizza. 351 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:20,120 Cool. See you later. 352 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:23,320 Yeah, that worked out great because I was freaking the fuck 353 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,520 out on the outside and the inside, so. 354 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:29,480 But you can see that when dramatic, Moody, materialistic, 355 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:33,600 you become materialistic when you don't feel OK, you will buy 356 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,600 things, You will do things even though you're I. 357 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:39,560 Buy random shit that I don't need and and then usually that's 358 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,080 when I like when I'm walking around or I have time because 359 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,280 then I think about it and I'm like, I don't need this. 360 00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:48,680 So I put it back because I'm like, but I have that thing and 361 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:49,960 I'm like, why am I doing this right now? 362 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,200 I. Don't see you're doing something 363 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,120 right there. You're you're, you're deducing 364 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,600 down exactly. Is this a fear or am I in a 365 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,920 clarity state? So when you're in a clarity 366 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,000 state, you just go over here and just saying, OK, you know what, 367 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,440 you take stock of it every day going, what points of my day did 368 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,360 I have clarity? And you start looking at it when 369 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,280 the when you have ultimate clarity is when you're able to 370 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,880 be in an argument and you realize that the other person 371 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:16,360 needs something and you go fuck. And then you just start asking 372 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,840 questions. Hey, when I said this, did this 373 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,920 make you feel like this? And they go, yes, oh, I just 374 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,920 didn't understand. Yeah. 375 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,400 And then it changes everything. So I'm going to share some 376 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:29,320 because that just dude, your face, like I was like, oh, shit, 377 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,160 dude, I hit it. What to do in a relationship 378 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,720 with the rectangle? Rectangles are loyal, 379 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:40,000 responsible, caring people. In relationships they often are 380 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:45,320 they they are often givers, but their love language is acts of 381 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:49,600 service, so they often need physical a physical touch too. 382 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,880 They show their love by getting things done for you. 383 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,800 They struggle with words and expressing emotion. 384 00:19:56,160 --> 00:20:01,320 They don't enjoy conflict and would rather avoid it, but if 385 00:20:01,320 --> 00:20:04,000 you fight with them they will defend themselves. 386 00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,400 They can forgive and let things go fast though, especially with 387 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,520 a sincere apology. Rectangles are off are very 388 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,920 logical and practical to that. That's why I was like fuck how 389 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,640 come I didn't see that before. But sometimes are not very 390 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:24,240 socially connected. Some rectangles are even on the 391 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:25,760 autism spectrum. You're not. 392 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:30,720 They crave being in relationships but can have an 393 00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:34,240 avoidant attachment style and needs their freedom too. 394 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:38,640 To make relationships with the rectangle work, you are going to 395 00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:42,280 have to give them lots of time on their own to feel 396 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,560 independent, to do their own things. 397 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:49,960 You will need to understand their need for their hobbies and 398 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,920 not feel jealous of the time they spend there. 399 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:57,640 You will need to be patient, listener and open to their 400 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,440 opinions and ideas. This makes them feel valued. 401 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,360 Now this is going to be crazy and that this is this is awesome 402 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:08,640 because then you're going to be like fuck what not to do in a 403 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,360 relationship with the rectangle. Don't waste money. 404 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,160 Do not. Don't be controlling or insist 405 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:21,680 on things being your way. They will push back fucking and 406 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,400 want their way and no one will win in a power struggle. 407 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,240 Don't get offended when they speak their mind. 408 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:32,480 Rectangles are quick to say what they think and this can offend 409 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,000 people. Except octagons. 410 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,840 We have extremely thick skin. Have they have it says have 411 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,120 thick skin? I love how she just called out. 412 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,720 Don't mess up their systems or move their tools or things. 413 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:50,240 They need their organization as it is, right? 414 00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:54,560 Don't be surprised when they would rather stay at home than 415 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,040 go out. Don't push them to go out and 416 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:01,040 party or social to events. If they don't feel up to it, 417 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,440 make a deal or in strike a balance. 418 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:09,800 If you're you are a social shape, don't push them to decide 419 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,320 anything before they are ready. They are slow decision makers 420 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:17,160 and must research and think it through before making a choice. 421 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:20,480 Don't be inconsiderate, dishonest, or disloyal. 422 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,000 They would rather hear the truth, even if it might make 423 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000 them feel bad. Yeah, that's you, dude. 424 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,520 Yeah, it even talks about how to raise them. 425 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:34,240 Oh no, that was way more spot on on like almost every single 426 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,040 thing than any of the others have been. 427 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,360 So here's the crazy thing, you are actually compatible with 428 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,680 with her. She's a cross. 429 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,880 And what I would, I would suggest doing, 'cause this is 430 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,040 great, dude. So what you're, what you're 431 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,120 experiencing right now is, is exactly what I experienced when 432 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:55,120 Kim went through this with me. You were able to understand 433 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:57,240 exactly where you start fitting in this world. 434 00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:02,960 And you go and fuck, fuck, fuck, oh, fuck. 435 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,760 And So what you do? You go, oh, I got all this shit. 436 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,880 What the fuck do I do with it? Well, one start being open with 437 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:13,280 people about it. Hey Alec, you said this thing 438 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,440 really fucking bothers me and here's why. 439 00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:19,000 This is my bullshit. I just want you to know that I'm 440 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,000 not mad at you. I'm just frustrated because it's 441 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,640 not my way, but I'm working on it. 442 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,400 My wife still like anytime I get a little upset, she goes ha ha, 443 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:30,560 fucking caught you, you fucking liar. 444 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,360 This doesn't work. And I just and I want to get mad 445 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:34,880 and I want to fight back. And I'm like, isn't it 446 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:39,520 interesting that when I'm displaying human traits, you all 447 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,960 the sudden think that I got caught? 448 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,520 Well, it's just 'cause you go, I never get mad anymore. 449 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:46,560 So that's. Probably all and and that's what 450 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,040 they and so. She's like when I caught. 451 00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,880 You and I I I changed it and I say I rarely get mad but I'm 452 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,440 able to self correct way faster I. 453 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,680 That's what emotional intelligence is, I think is 454 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,760 realizing and being able to recognize when we're in a 455 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,560 fearful state and going, hey, how do I get back to a normal? 456 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:08,280 Her new book just came out. It's she's got a bunch of copies 457 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:12,240 sent to my house. I'm gonna give you 1 and instead 458 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:14,920 of reading it like I'm just going to absorb something 459 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,360 because this is typically how people treat personality stuff. 460 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,680 This is not personality stuff. It's all behavior and it's 461 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,600 created. Kim's a smart fucking woman, 462 00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,280 dude. She knows things like, you know, 463 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,600 one of the really, I mean, it's crazy. 464 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:33,520 I just described your childhood and your adolescence into 465 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,480 adulthood into your relationship. 466 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,800 That was crazy, right? That was in two paragraphs. 467 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:44,280 This is the craziest one. Dude, this is what you must work 468 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:45,720 on. They need to watch out for 469 00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:50,080 getting into getting into ego around their intelligence and 470 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:54,160 not making others feel stupid. They tend to correct people if 471 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:59,280 they say something wrong. Rectangles need to let people be 472 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:04,040 wrong and do things wrong. Or they let or at least ask 473 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,880 permission before they give advice or suggestions. 474 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:10,760 I have that problem. Ask the person if they are open 475 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,920 to a suggestion or just want to do it their own way. 476 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:17,720 They must make sure that they don't tell others what they 477 00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:22,040 think if it wasn't asked for. I really had to work on that 478 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,680 with Emily because I've always been the try and fix it. 479 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,760 I know you are, but I've noticed. 480 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,400 It's like so hard to just. Do you know why you do that? 481 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,200 Because. I want to help. 482 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,120 I want to help fix those problems you. 483 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,520 Care about them? Yeah. 484 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,400 If I didn't, I wouldn't give a shit. 485 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,120 Dude, I'm that guy in the gym that will annoy somebody because 486 00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,560 I'll I'll see that they're doing something and I can help them 487 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:44,960 and I'll go over and give him unsolicited advice. 488 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:48,400 For rectangles. We give unsolicited advice 489 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,680 non-stop. But the other thing is we know a 490 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,920 lot of shit. We we have crazy memories, like 491 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,680 when I talk to McClain. Memory. 492 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:02,000 When I talk to McClain, McClain goes, oh, yeah, but he could 493 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,200 describe it. And I'm like, cool, how far back 494 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,360 can you go? And he goes, what do you mean? 495 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:10,120 I said, I can go back to four. I remember, I remember shitting 496 00:26:10,120 --> 00:26:14,120 in my pants and I had this underwear. 497 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:19,880 It was striped turquoise, sky blue and an orange color and 498 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,200 white. And they went across, this is 499 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:28,960 the 80s. It's like 82 three and I shit my 500 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,560 pants and I still remembered the feel because it wasn't a squish, 501 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,640 it was a hard log and came out and it pushed my shorts like a 502 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:36,480 tail. Man. 503 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:42,400 And I remember I was in my parents room and we we only had 504 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:46,120 this tiny little place on a 9th by BYU where we live. 505 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,680 Tiny little house. It's still there to this day. 506 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,120 Yeah, really close to the Creamer. 507 00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:55,600 You could walk there. And I was so scared because I 508 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,360 thought I knew my parents were gonna get mad at me. 509 00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,840 Yeah. I didn't even speak at that 510 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,880 time. I didn't speak until I was 5. 511 00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:04,440 Like, full sentences. Yep. 512 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,720 OK, full sentences. Yeah, delayed stuff though. 513 00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,680 Mm hmm. And dude, I, I. 514 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,560 Selective mutism. No, no, I didn't have selective 515 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:14,760 mutism. That was my daughter. 516 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,360 Yeah. No, no, you just said you didn't 517 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,000 speak till 4:00. So I wonder if you. 518 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:22,320 Had any I I spoke a mix of like Spanish and English. 519 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:25,280 Just spotted. I but I understood everything 520 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,880 but my parents, they could talk to me. 521 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,840 I just couldn't speak. So I was slow to speaking. 522 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:32,560 But it's, it's also the same with like my intelligence, 523 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,880 because when I was in high school, I was a fucking idiot. 524 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,480 Like I was I, I. Felt like I was too. 525 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,760 I didn't apply myself. Oh no dude, I was bad. 526 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,560 Like everybody thought I had special needs so I was in 527 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,880 special needs classes. Really. 528 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,640 Yeah, for English and math. Yeah, dude, I didn't know how. 529 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:49,920 To. I never would have guessed. 530 00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:54,440 No, no, no, no. But it was and and I just 531 00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:56,920 accepted that dude for like 12 years. 532 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,320 That's who you were. Yeah, which is who I was. 533 00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:05,080 And then as things started to go right when they started to go 534 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:09,920 through it, like I, I just felt like a, this is just my place. 535 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,120 Remember that whole idea I talk about that kind of Kuosaki talks 536 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,400 about, there's entrepreneurs and employees. 537 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,800 And it was the same thing where I was just like, well, I'm an 538 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,640 employee, so when I got out of the Navy, yeah, my dreams were 539 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,560 crushed. And I'm like, well, at least 540 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:29,480 what I thought would be my dream, but that was crushed. 541 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:32,920 And I feel like fucking melting. Sinking into the cage. 542 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,560 Dude, it's just I wish I was lighter at that point. 543 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:40,960 Fucking still 180 lbs, but I'm like in a 29 waist now. 544 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,400 But anyway, you're fucking slim. Yeah, dude, I've lost a lot of 545 00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:45,040 weight. I'm still I'm still pretty 546 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:51,640 decent size, but no to go back to it dude, like fuck, where was 547 00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:52,840 I? I haven't been smoking. 548 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,880 That's what the problem. Is no, but it's also probably 549 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,040 almost gone, so you might need to load another bowl. 550 00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:04,400 Yeah, dude, I mean it's. But anyways, to digress and 551 00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:07,640 that's part of the issue with octagons is that we have a 552 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,760 tendency to ramble. And so what's really cool dude, 553 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,480 is that because I know that I am self aware of myself, all you 554 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:19,560 have to do is this Hey dude, you're kind of rambling for a 555 00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:20,880 little bit. And I said, Oh my bad. 556 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,200 It it would be the. Sometimes I love the rambles. 557 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,920 Oh, I do, because we get into really funny, weird shit. 558 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,480 But I mean, but at the same time, there, there are times 559 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,720 where I'm talking about something that makes that that 560 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:36,640 is completely ridiculous. And that's how you know that my 561 00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,080 mind, how it works, dude, it it is. 562 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,680 And that's why I love cannons. Random and weird too. 563 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,200 You just don't hear all of them. No, Emily does, because she's 564 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,320 here sometimes. And then I'm like, I'll say 565 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,720 something, she's like, what the fuck? 566 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,200 And I'm like, welcome to the weird random shit that pops into 567 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:57,400 Brandon's head like, 'cause she'll be like, you know, 568 00:29:58,360 --> 00:29:59,960 whatever. She'd be like, oh, you should, 569 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,800 we should talk more. OK, well, what do you want to 570 00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,000 talk about? I don't know what what what's 571 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,120 going on in your mind? I don't know like this but just 572 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:10,360 popped in like it's whatever random shit pops into my head at 573 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,400 that second that's. So fucking funny. 574 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:17,320 So one of the craziest things about 12 Shapes is that there's 575 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,160 a compatibility. She did this woman, and she is 576 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:21,600 a. Oh, it makes sense. 577 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:24,440 Oh, dude. But it's so cool because you 578 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,120 know what? So here's the problem. 579 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,160 OK, I love, I love the idea of the system, the concept that. 580 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,280 It's just a tool. Again, it's just a tool. 581 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,960 Yes, but how do you? The problem is that tool is 582 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,840 available, but it's like going, hey, here's this tool. 583 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:43,520 There's no real effective video or coach or person that's just 584 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,840 there with it all the time. Because again, how many times 585 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,360 have I taken different tests? And it wasn't until we had a 586 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,720 conversation you're like, holy fuck, you're a rectangle. 587 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,080 Like what? That's never been on the board. 588 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,640 You know why? Because. 589 00:30:57,680 --> 00:30:59,840 Because that you. Have to use it consciously. 590 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,000 So how do you have? But who's going to know how to 591 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:06,040 use that consciously and, and truly answer those without going 592 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,200 wait, is this like what my mind's thinking? 593 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:12,640 Is it like versus like your true self versus, you know, and, and 594 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,240 having someone who it's different 'cause you know me 595 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:19,200 versus like Kim has no idea who I am and maybe overtime because 596 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,760 she's designed the system and that it's different. 597 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,520 It what? What typically happens? 598 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,400 OK, so let me tell you what happens and I'm gonna get 599 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,160 another hit of this. 'Cause I'm like, that would be 600 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:32,520 my, my struggle is then it's a great system if, if they know 601 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,680 their true shape and it makes sense to them. 602 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,560 But if they have a shape that they think they are and they're 603 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:40,360 telling people, hey, this is how I I navigate or work, but it's 604 00:31:40,360 --> 00:31:42,520 really not how they navigate or work. 605 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,360 It doesn't really benefit them then. 606 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:47,200 No, it, it's not. I mean, the one thing is it's 607 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,880 not 100% accurate as far as the test is concerned. 608 00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,960 And the reason why is because of human error. 609 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:56,240 I, I will, I mean, I won't go into the science of axiology 610 00:31:56,240 --> 00:32:01,240 that it's backed on, but one of the things with with 12 shapes 611 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:07,960 is that it's not a, it's not like a like a Tony Robbins type 612 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:12,080 thing or some type of seance within the self help world that 613 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:14,000 they will temple typically get into. 614 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,720 What this does is it, it is a self-awareness tool. 615 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,800 So what you do is that you are constantly just go back and you 616 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,840 read it everyday, read it random times, learn more and then and 617 00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,640 just be self reflective. What I do, because I'm I'm a 618 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:34,320 very visual thinker, but the way I communicate is very auditory 619 00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,760 and I used to think that I was a visual communicator. 620 00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:39,600 Interesting, so you visualize it. 621 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,400 I visualize it, but what I like coming to me is the words. 622 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,480 But in your head you picture it. But I can create anything in my 623 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,000 head. Yeah, 'cause you have a 624 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,200 fantastic imagination, right? A fantastic yeah, just comes. 625 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,520 It's just how your mind, your creativity is like. 626 00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,400 But I need to feel your words. And so I'm a, I am a auditory 627 00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,120 kinesthetic, OK? You know all the stuff that we 628 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:04,200 learned in NLP I created so you have more. 629 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,920 Comprehend and feel the words to create that. 630 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,920 No, it it what I 'cause. It has to pull you in well, you 631 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,920 don't feel it. It's boring and dry. 632 00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:14,520 It's like reading a textbook. Exactly. 633 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:15,720 Right, it's like sitting in class. 634 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,160 But if I had a teacher who was able to enunciate and be able 635 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,200 to. Animate it and they bring you in 636 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:24,360 or like. Sucked in, yeah. 637 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,160 'Cause it's like it's engaging and that's what you want. 638 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,400 You don't want like. But with that said though, yeah, 639 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,440 even when you that's my primary audit. 640 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:35,560 And. Then kinesthetic. 641 00:33:35,920 --> 00:33:42,400 Now for other people, they may be a more of an audio digital or 642 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:46,840 a a visual. So olfactory would be the smell 643 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,880 if I use words like I was like something smells off. 644 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:55,240 Like if if I said that word and you're a very olfactory 645 00:33:56,000 --> 00:34:00,120 communicator, like scents really are strong with you, then I know 646 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:01,760 that certain scents can repel you. 647 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,120 But if I'm a gustatory person, it's not necessarily what I eat 648 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,239 if going like, yeah, that's not my taste. 649 00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,840 Oh, that's sour. If I hear those sayings that I 650 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,920 know that they're go through that if I heard that with that 651 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:19,320 person for persuasion purposes, I'm going to be like, dude, I'm 652 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:20,600 going to get some treats over there. 653 00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,679 Would you like some sour kids? And they'd be like, dude, I love 654 00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:27,120 sour kids. It's those things, even treats, 655 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,400 even foods based off of the words that you're using, I can 656 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,760 pinpoint what you like. And so I now start to work 657 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,719 towards that. Now I have to turn this on. 658 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,159 I don't do it all the time or I'd be manipulating the fuck out 659 00:34:40,159 --> 00:34:43,000 of everybody all the time. I actually created an assessment 660 00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:44,159 for this. I'll give it to you. 661 00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:47,400 It's really cool. On if you're manipulating people 662 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,440 or not. Know how to know which kind of 663 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,159 communicator you are. And then I also have another 664 00:34:52,159 --> 00:34:56,000 system that I, I heard Andrew Bosamante or something like 665 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:56,920 that. He's ACIA guy. 666 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,400 He talked about rice. These are the four main 667 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,640 motivators that humans go after. Yeah, I love rice. 668 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:11,600 And it's reward in reward, ideology, coercion and ego. 669 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:16,040 So there are 4 main motivators that we have as individuals, as 670 00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:18,760 humans that motivate us. The reason why I was so 671 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:22,400 interested is that Andrew buses, I'm going to fucking Butcher's 672 00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,440 last name. But anyways, he talks about 673 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,840 that, that that's what the CIA operatives use in order to be 674 00:35:27,840 --> 00:35:31,080 able to get an asset. So they understand which one is 675 00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:34,440 your primary motivator. And then they press on it to get 676 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,640 to the three different types of person you are. 677 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,720 You're public, you're private, and you're and your. 678 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:45,080 No, it's, it's your public, your private and your secret life. 679 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,600 Yeah, your secret life is. Who you are at home, who you are 680 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:51,520 at like with your family and then who you are on like your 681 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,360 inside Yes yeah, 2 uses. Self, this is you one on on 682 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:57,040 Incognito. Mode, right? 683 00:35:57,040 --> 00:35:59,800 Yep, when nobody comes around, this is what your Incognito 684 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:01,600 browser? This is what private browsing 685 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,800 mode you're. Putting a neck around, you're 686 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,800 putting something around your neck, you're choking your ball 687 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,160 yourself, you know, 'cause this is how you get off. 688 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:14,280 But The thing is, it's like when you're able to use, dude, I was 689 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:15,680 joking. I'm not going to do it. 690 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:19,640 I mean, I go too far sometimes. But one of the the craziest 691 00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,720 things, dude, is that. That's why I'm so passionate 692 00:36:21,720 --> 00:36:25,000 about understanding this, because once I understand the 693 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:29,160 behaviors of the individual, I understand what reward system is 694 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:32,400 more towards them and what communication style they are. 695 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:35,200 Well, you just understand them and you understand how to talk 696 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,080 to them because that's how they like to be talked to. 697 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:41,000 And you can turn anybody into your friend or you can teach 698 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,520 them what to do. That's where I started when I 699 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,280 was, that's why I was so successful over there at Rising 700 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:49,240 Health because I was teaching themselves like there's no 701 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,240 closing line that's going to get you the win. 702 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:53,960 So all I was start doing with them, I said, there's two lines 703 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,200 that you're going to do and I've used. 704 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,640 And that's what would you like me to do next? 705 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,800 Or if you make a connection going, how do you think we 706 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:02,320 should? How do you think we should do? 707 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:03,480 Yeah. How do you think we should move 708 00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,880 forward? What do you think we should do? 709 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:06,240 Oh no, I say. What do you think we should do 710 00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,120 next? Because I never say forward 711 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:10,280 because that's a business speak. So what do you think we should 712 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,240 do next? Kind of like, you know, we jump 713 00:37:12,240 --> 00:37:14,320 to this rock. How do we jump to this rock? 714 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:15,760 And they go, we'll just fucking jump there. 715 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:17,800 OK, cool. And that's usually when clients, 716 00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:19,840 this is what I was able. That's why I was able to get 717 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:24,800 these random ass clients. And that that was the line that 718 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,240 always helped them. And they would say, oh, well, I 719 00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:31,160 want you to build me a proposal. It needs to be this, this, this. 720 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,400 And then when they would come back with an objection in price, 721 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:36,880 they'd go 10 thousands too much a month, Jess, I can't pay that 722 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:39,280 one. What about 10,000 is really 723 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:41,000 difficult for you to be able to go behind? 724 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,360 Oh, my budgets don't get there. OK, So you're more concerned 725 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:46,920 that you won't have operational budgets to be able to keep going 726 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:49,720 for the rest of the year. OK, so 10,000 is not going to 727 00:37:49,720 --> 00:37:51,280 work. What would work? 728 00:37:51,440 --> 00:37:55,200 He goes, not that. So I'm like, OK, and I knew a 729 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:59,480 number where I wanted to be. And I'm like, OK, if I did this, 730 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:02,520 this, this, I'm going to say it's this. 731 00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:05,400 Would you like me to send an invoice? 732 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:09,120 That's all I would say. And the guy said, yeah, yeah, 733 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:12,000 I'll go with that. So I went from 10,000 for a 734 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,040 project down to 5000. I was expecting 3. 735 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:17,400 But you were happy getting five? Yeah. 736 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,320 But the way that I was able to go about it is that I had to 737 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,080 place it as they were in control the entire time. 738 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,840 If they make the decision, I don't have to. 739 00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:29,040 Well, every buyer wants to feel like they're in control. 740 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,760 But they are all, but they don't get that opportunity. 741 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,000 It's always at the end where they feel kind of gross. 742 00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,080 Yeah, going. I just got swindled. 743 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,520 Oh yeah. How many times have you like 744 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,080 bought something or gone to do it? 745 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,440 And then it's like I just. Well, it's the same thing like 746 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,400 on communication, like we, we tend to trust things that we see 747 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,320 right away or if we hear something, we react to it. 748 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,160 And I'm human, even though I know all this shit, I still do 749 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,960 that. Like we had a fight a while ago 750 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:55,000 It, it lasted a whole 10 minutes and then it was done. 751 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:57,880 That's another the thing that both of our shapes are we're 752 00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:04,360 super forgiving people like you could wrong me badly and I will 753 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,400 let it go. It's well, I've had that happen. 754 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,880 There's friends that I brought back into life after like a very 755 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,440 sincere, realistic apology because prior to that he had 756 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:17,160 sent a apology and I was like, fuck that. 757 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:18,160 That's not an apology, isn't that? 758 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:21,440 Funny what I read to you, that apologies are accepted only if 759 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:23,880 they're sincere. That's exactly what she wrote. 760 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,080 Well, it was like being truthful and honest is really important. 761 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,440 And I was sitting with my dad yesterday and he was like, you 762 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:33,240 know, it was really interesting raising Brandon. 763 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,200 He would never lie. He would always go. 764 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,640 He wouldn't tell you. He might not tell you something, 765 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,240 but he would never lie. And I was like, I hate lying, I 766 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:45,160 hate lying, I don't. I would much rather tell someone 767 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:47,440 something than just fucking lie about. 768 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,320 It you don't why? Because you don't give 769 00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:54,400 connection to anybody buddy. You give it sparingly. 770 00:39:54,800 --> 00:40:00,200 Why would you lie to ruin that subconsciously you won't do it 771 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:00,880 dude. It's. 772 00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:05,600 When everyone who is in my circle like, Yep, they are, they 773 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,440 are like in there and they know that every single one of them 774 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,920 knows I love them and I would do whatever for them. 775 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:15,240 See that? I mean, it makes more sense 776 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:17,840 dude. Like and and it's. 777 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:21,680 But it's not hard to get in there. 778 00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,880 I feel like it's not hard for me to like connect with someone. 779 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,000 No, no, no, that's not that. And if they're. 780 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,720 Real in that like I. But you're right. 781 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:33,960 I there's very few who know Brandon. 782 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:37,200 Yeah. Yeah, and that makes sense. 783 00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:41,200 And that's that's why, you know, I value your friendship above of 784 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:45,400 others because I know without a doubt you will not burn me. 785 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:49,000 You will help me no matter what. If I asked you for something and 786 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,760 you had the ability to, no doubt. 787 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,720 And I would always do that for you. 788 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:55,640 That's part of my nature. You know the crazy thing, the 789 00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,360 logical side makes sense on the religion side too. 790 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:02,240 It totally does. And for me it makes total sense 791 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,040 because. It's emotional side. 792 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,040 It's very much what? That's why our good friend who 793 00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:08,720 left, that's why he's emotional still. 794 00:41:08,720 --> 00:41:12,120 Makes sense because even you know I talk about it, religion 795 00:41:12,120 --> 00:41:16,720 is based on feeling and emotion is feeling and so it makes 100% 796 00:41:16,720 --> 00:41:20,320 sense that there would be feeling based things all around. 797 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:23,640 That so the best way to approach it, man, and just knowing that 798 00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:25,240 about you and this is beautiful, dude. 799 00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:30,200 What I love about it is that now I don't look at it as you're 800 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:34,760 trying to prove to me that there is no God or anything like that. 801 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,640 No, you're just no knowledge of it. 802 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:41,000 But that's exactly what because you have faith in what you can 803 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,560 see, touch and feel, and that's totally understand and and here 804 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:48,040 right away as. Or research, If I can research 805 00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,240 and find proof around something that's great. 806 00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:52,920 But it's the feeling. And I'm like, I can't, I can't 807 00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:54,560 base those on feelings. And I'm like, that's. 808 00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,480 What's beautiful about you? I love that people. 809 00:41:56,480 --> 00:42:00,080 Can because I see there's people, there's value for them 810 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,520 like like you, my mom, like I see people who gain so much 811 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:08,800 immense value from it, but. But did that's the thing too is 812 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,600 and and this I mean, let's let's just be honest with it, right? 813 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:18,200 You know, way that you knew a lot of and a lot of people that 814 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:21,160 you grew up around were probably in very similar families. 815 00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:29,520 You The term brainwash is very very upsetting to you and 816 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,400 conformity. Do what we tell you to do, not 817 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,800 having the freedom to explore what you think. 818 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,760 Yeah, well, because it's always the freedom. 819 00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:42,040 It's it's I like we, we live in America. 820 00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,080 It's supposed to be the freedom. And then it's even here in the 821 00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:47,440 country. I'm very frustrated with the 822 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,400 freedoms that are stripped away. But it's like, OK, well, none of 823 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,000 this is constitutional. Half this shit shouldn't be like 824 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:54,840 we should. Have these things going on for a 825 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:55,240 long. Time. 826 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:58,920 And so, yeah, for me, freedom is huge and I am really frustrated 827 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:00,400 around those types of things, but. 828 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,800 But no, I'm talking like freedom like on this. 829 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,760 Like here's freedom for you, living off the grid, having a 830 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,920 community out in the middle of nowhere, producing all your own 831 00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,240 stuff. Me, I would like to be in the 832 00:43:12,240 --> 00:43:14,440 city. I like to talk to people. 833 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,120 I've always interacted with everybody around me. 834 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,080 And so it's like it, it's so cool because dude, like we 835 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:25,760 really do like we need to go. OK, so one, we're making a a 836 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,440 pact now everybody gets to hear it. 837 00:43:28,240 --> 00:43:30,440 We're going camping. We're going camping together as 838 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:34,840 families and the reason why is because I want to learn those 839 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,480 things that what you appreciate so much. 840 00:43:37,480 --> 00:43:39,400 I know why you love nature so much. 841 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,000 I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate it. 842 00:43:41,240 --> 00:43:44,400 It just doesn't come to my mind. It's not a Zen full place. 843 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:48,520 My Zen is Spotify and a punching bag. 844 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:54,200 That's my place. My Zen was also motorcycle. 845 00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:56,800 Oh dude curving through that? But that hasn't. 846 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,360 We have to get you a motorcycle this summer. 847 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:01,640 You have to have one. Oh yeah, and the. 848 00:44:02,240 --> 00:44:06,320 That's why like longboarding was hard because when I, that was 849 00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:09,400 my, that was my therapy cause motorcycle riding for me was 850 00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:12,240 like therapy. And then when I didn't have that 851 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,720 anymore, that was crazy hard. So longboarding me came this 852 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:18,560 like, all right, well, this is what I'll do because I've been 853 00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,400 doing it for 20 years and it's still this enjoyment of like a 854 00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,200 flow. And so when I fucked up my knee 855 00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:28,720 and I couldn't board, then it was like, what the hell do I do? 856 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:32,160 I can't really like and I don't like just walking. 857 00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:34,160 I don't want to just go on a walk around the neighborhood. 858 00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,680 I'd go hike in nature. Like fuck yeah, I love walking 859 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:38,800 in nature. But like walking around a 860 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:39,880 neighborhood, What am I going to see? 861 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,040 Is sidewalk someone's house like a mailbox? 862 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,920 I don't give a but. For me though, like when you 863 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,960 describe that, that's heaven to me because when I go for a walk, 864 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,400 I think and I get all the because, you know, my brain is 865 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,520 just constantly moving when I'm moving. 866 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,480 That's why I love going to work out because I'm moving to the 867 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:01,480 point where my brain slows down. That's why cannabis is So, you 868 00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,760 know, as much like my wife had asked me, she's just like, look, 869 00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:08,160 you're smoking like a lot and I'm kind of concerned and she's 870 00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:09,800 not, it's not without merit, dude. 871 00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:14,160 Like I'm, it gets a little sore in my upper lungs and I'm like, 872 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,880 yeah, I got to take a break off of the off of the puff and it's 873 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,680 so hard to get away from it. So I'm, I'm, I'm moving away 874 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:25,440 from flour as much, not all the time, but still. 875 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:27,600 Mm hmm. Flour first. 876 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:32,520 But it, it helps my brain to slow down so that I can think 877 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:37,200 because how the way I see your ideas, dude. 878 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:39,440 And this just it because I'm such a visual person. 879 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:44,160 Do you remember the Matrix where he's like, we need guns and then 880 00:45:44,160 --> 00:45:47,360 all of a sudden these aisles and shit and they're all organized 881 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,880 based on caliber and all that? That's you, dude. 882 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,640 You're that gun rack. You just like fuck this is me 883 00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,800 dude like. I just get shit done and then 884 00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,400 all of a sudden it's like everything unfolds and I'm like, 885 00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,000 Oh yeah, no, that we can do this. 886 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:01,440 What? What? 887 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,840 What are we doing, Brandon? OK, well, we need to know where 888 00:46:03,840 --> 00:46:05,480 we're at. What's the place that we're 889 00:46:05,480 --> 00:46:07,240 attacking? Does anybody know anything about 890 00:46:07,240 --> 00:46:08,720 it? What year was it built at? 891 00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,160 Hey, somebody pull up some schematics of that one. 892 00:46:11,240 --> 00:46:13,400 Me. So where do you want me to go 893 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,720 and how many people have to die? Alright, and then you're and I 894 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,040 run off even thinking about insurgency. 895 00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,840 Dude, this is. Like like I would run off. 896 00:46:22,840 --> 00:46:25,280 And you're just gone. Kill everybody like walking 897 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:26,360 through. And stuff. 898 00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,440 Dead bodies everywhere. Like oh shit, I got to speed up. 899 00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:31,080 He's like already killed everyone. 900 00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:32,920 I know, and even here. He's like Gattaca. 901 00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:36,640 Gattaca. Yeah, everybody that come on in, 902 00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,720 you know, and then you're just like, what the fuck? 903 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,920 And it's just like, but that makes can you see why certain 904 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,520 things are attracted to me as they wouldn't be attracted to 905 00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,160 you. So here's the cool thing about 906 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:52,000 it. Once you understand other 907 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:56,600 people's shapes, you start being able to find that you judge less 908 00:46:56,680 --> 00:47:02,200 about them because they know like certain individuals, no 909 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,800 colors actually, but just certain types of individuals 910 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:10,520 used to infuriate me. Infuriate me? 911 00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,600 Why? Because I had a negative 912 00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:17,440 interaction with one, and then I had a second and a third, and 913 00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,880 I'm like, what the? That's not cool. 914 00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,560 Yeah. So then I started to associate. 915 00:47:21,560 --> 00:47:23,560 Generalization. Well, then I started to 916 00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,560 associate a bias with them. Yeah. 917 00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,160 Everybody who is like that is going to act this way. 918 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:30,480 Yeah. And, And it's so funny because 919 00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,600 people are probably, dude, he's thinking about colored people. 920 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:36,440 He's thinking about Hispanics and, and lesbians, you know, 921 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:38,760 because they're all angry people and black people. 922 00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:40,960 No, look, I'll be honest with you. 923 00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:43,840 It was morbidly obese people, morbidly obese people. 924 00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:48,080 Like I can get along with any denomination, any race, creed, 925 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:51,640 but if you were over £400, I don't want to talk to you 926 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,160 because I had met nothing but women who are that size and they 927 00:47:55,160 --> 00:47:57,480 were fucking mean. They were vicious. 928 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,760 And the way I took it at the time, because this is what I 929 00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,600 didn't understand about myself, is that they were attacking me 930 00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:09,200 as a person. So it's like, it's like German 931 00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:10,680 shepherds. I'm still skittish around them 932 00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,200 to this day because a German shepherd almost killed me as a 933 00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:14,600 child. Jesus. 934 00:48:15,240 --> 00:48:17,800 And if it wouldn't have been for me just instinctively lifting my 935 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:19,200 arm up, I wouldn't be here today. 936 00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,680 Addie has that same thing about a year. 937 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:26,720 God was it a year or two after she got bit in the face by a 938 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:29,400 dog? She was down in Texas taking 939 00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:33,920 birthday invitations to friends houses and a big Doberman 940 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:39,280 Pitbull mix jumped the fence. Holy shit, jumped the fence and 941 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,000 bit her, knocked her down and bit her and she's alive because 942 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:46,960 her arm got pinned on her side and so it didn't get her organs 943 00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,240 and stuff. That's why she's alive. 944 00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:55,880 Like it's insane just. But I can understand the fear. 945 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,200 So Dober, not Dobermans, German shepherds. 946 00:48:58,200 --> 00:48:59,960 German Shepherds give you this now? 947 00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,000 Yeah, but there's still like this back of your mind 948 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,480 apprehension. I'm sure that's like 949 00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:05,600 subconscious. And that's some of the things 950 00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:08,320 that understanding, yeah, your subconscious, because you're 951 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,560 also talking about neural pathways and why, you know, 952 00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:14,440 medications such as ketamine are so effective for these ones. 953 00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,920 Because when that happens, it's almost like there's a stop. 954 00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,960 Something so traumatic happened in the brain. 955 00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:22,880 This is just the basic way, this is not actually how it works, 956 00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,400 but I'm I'm explaining it to A5. Level, yeah, you can go research 957 00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,200 it if you want. But it's like a traffic jam all 958 00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,360 the sudden. So at that moment you notice how 959 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:35,280 there are certain memories that like flashbacks and stuff like 960 00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,320 that. What can happen is that that 961 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,440 that horrible traumatic event. And this can be emotional, 962 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,080 physical, whatever, right? Jesus Christ. 963 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:46,080 That was loud. That was. 964 00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:48,920 Massively loud it. Almost sounded like a fart. 965 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,160 Yeah, I was. Like holy cow. 966 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:55,040 But I was kind of throw it off base. 967 00:49:55,840 --> 00:50:00,280 Fucking hell, fucking hell, the guy fucked me. 968 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:03,640 Forget, I don't know. Anyways, to go past all that, 969 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:06,760 this is This is why I'm so passionate about those things, 970 00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:08,760 dude. And it, it's just and I want to 971 00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:12,480 share it with everybody, dude. Like literally because I got, I 972 00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:16,120 got certified as a coach in it because it transformed me. 973 00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:19,160 And I'm, I'm building out a podcast with the woman who 974 00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:20,800 created this one. So that's cool. 975 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:22,320 We get it. We'll talk a lot about. 976 00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:26,240 These things on there, Do you have a link yet? 977 00:50:26,240 --> 00:50:29,440 No, no, no, I'm gonna I, I need your help on that to get this 978 00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:34,440 all set up 'cause I am. Do that after this because your 979 00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,720 episode on Happier Headspace comes out and I don't have a 980 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:42,480 link to put in there for you. Oh, so we should get it so I can 981 00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:46,560 at least throw a Lincoln and then as you put in that, it will 982 00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:49,680 be there? OK, yeah, but you know, the the 983 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:53,480 thing that's so great about it is that the reason why I get so 984 00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,840 passionate, dude, is because I learned so much about myself, 985 00:50:57,200 --> 00:51:01,840 about why I perceive things the way I do to take it back. 986 00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:05,040 And and why it makes sense why I just said that when we had our 987 00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:09,080 argument, I was believing that you were trying to tell me to do 988 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,160 something, but you weren't. You were trying to tell me, 989 00:51:12,760 --> 00:51:16,920 well, what research backs it up because you value the data and I 990 00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,520 value the data too. But at the moment I became 991 00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:22,520 emotional. I let it get the hold of me. 992 00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,240 And you didn't understand why I was getting upset. 993 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,160 And then you got upset because you don't wrong me. 994 00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,720 So you know how it was like, you won't win in that power 995 00:51:31,720 --> 00:51:33,960 struggle. You'll want to fight forever. 996 00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,760 Right. Well, and and it's not that's 997 00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:39,320 what I'm fighting, I. Hate it, I really do. 998 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:41,480 I enjoy. I enjoy a good confrontation. 999 00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:45,400 One thing that Emily said recently that kind of I didn't 1000 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:48,880 think I did, she was like, you know, you don't always do this, 1001 00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:52,200 but one thing I really like about you as a partner is you 1002 00:51:52,200 --> 00:51:54,920 have the ability to take a step back. 1003 00:51:56,360 --> 00:51:59,400 Because you do not like conflict at all, which is so good. 1004 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:03,960 Argument like take a step back and I was like, I don't always 1005 00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:07,200 feel like I do, but it's good that sometimes you feel like I 1006 00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,480 do. So you do so this is really 1007 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,160 funny. We had an argument on the phone. 1008 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,120 We we have arguments all the time, but not all the time. 1009 00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,920 I would say like twice a year. We have two arguments a year. 1010 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:18,440 We're only warranted up to that one. 1011 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,360 If there's a third one, we have to put in a request. 1012 00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,560 Yeah, and then we have to go to couples therapy to like, you 1013 00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,320 know, and then there's letters and stuff. 1014 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:27,040 Well, I'm 40. Five now, so I'm going to have 1015 00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,600 to see a proctologist for one of those colonoscopies. 1016 00:52:31,080 --> 00:52:32,920 You know, it's cool Amazon has these cameras. 1017 00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:34,520 I'll just buy one and we'll do it at home. 1018 00:52:34,960 --> 00:52:36,560 That's that's love from that guy. 1019 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:39,120 No, you know what I'm going to have to say, Brandon. 1020 00:52:39,120 --> 00:52:41,760 You know, normally I wouldn't have to say this, but no, Sir, 1021 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:42,960 please stay away from my butt hole. 1022 00:52:43,720 --> 00:52:48,480 But but dude, what's what's so cool that I know that now 1023 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:51,560 because when we were having this argument, it started to get 1024 00:52:51,560 --> 00:52:55,960 elevated and my voice started to get elevated and Brandon has a 1025 00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:58,600 shut off mechanism. It's a fail safe. 1026 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,720 He will dis so he will disconnect, which is awesome 1027 00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,960 when you're able to disconnect and get a view of what's going 1028 00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:08,800 on. And he has a great ability of 1029 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,840 doing that because he would rather go wait a minute, am I 1030 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:16,000 being pissed off because I need to be pissed off or I don't want 1031 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,360 to be pissed off right now? I get the fuck away from this 1032 00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:22,040 and it's usually the latter. I hate being angry, like I hate 1033 00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:23,800 that energy. Yeah, totally. 1034 00:53:24,080 --> 00:53:26,720 And but you, you just don't. You don't like the energy from 1035 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:28,240 anybody. So it's hard. 1036 00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:29,560 Yeah. So we hung up on me. 1037 00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:35,520 Now, old Jesse, you don't hang out, you don't walk away from 1038 00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:37,080 me. We're fucking figuring this shit 1039 00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:39,560 out. And it was great because when he 1040 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,440 hung up on me, I'm all that motherfucker. 1041 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:44,560 And then I was about to call him back and I laughed and I go, 1042 00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:48,600 wait a minute, why are you mad? And that's what this has done 1043 00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:50,480 for me. So I go, why are you mad? 1044 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:52,800 I'm like, what fear state? You think you need to be right. 1045 00:53:52,960 --> 00:53:54,560 You don't need to be right, Jesse. 1046 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:58,320 OK, but we had. A discussion because you also 1047 00:53:58,320 --> 00:54:01,200 thought I was coming from a different perspective and you 1048 00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:03,560 explained where your fear was coming from. 1049 00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:07,040 I did, I did, but. And then I explained what was 1050 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:10,360 different and how it was perceived versus where I was 1051 00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:12,240 coming from. And then we we got on the same 1052 00:54:12,240 --> 00:54:14,120 page and understood. Instantly. 1053 00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:16,360 Yeah. And it was like, hey, OK, we 1054 00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:19,960 both understand. We see where this is and now it 1055 00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:21,000 makes sense. Like we. 1056 00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:23,360 See, but old me wouldn't have been able to do that. 1057 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:27,200 Old me would have responded very emotionally and would have been 1058 00:54:27,200 --> 00:54:29,360 angry, not talked to you for a day. 1059 00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:31,240 And when I talked to you saying we're going to fucking and fight 1060 00:54:31,240 --> 00:54:34,560 this out until it's done. And the reason why is I grew up 1061 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:39,200 in a very conflicting childhood. All throughout I've known 1062 00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,680 nothing but conflict. It sounds like I grew up in 1063 00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:45,560 Beirut, but I didn't. It's just the way that my mind 1064 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,720 as a child all the way to my adulthood, if you can call it 1065 00:54:48,720 --> 00:54:53,120 that, all the way from there, that I've had this constant need 1066 00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:56,480 to be able to feel like there's going to be a conflict and I 1067 00:54:56,480 --> 00:55:00,040 need to be ready to fight. See, I was always small, and I 1068 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:05,160 grew up with Curtis and my dad. So Curtis got thrown around, hit 1069 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:07,720 whatever, because he was argumentative. 1070 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:13,360 And so I learned that fighting because I'm small got your ass 1071 00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:13,720 beat. Yeah. 1072 00:55:13,720 --> 00:55:15,560 And you didn't want to do. That, and that wasn't great. 1073 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,600 So what? What good did fighting really 1074 00:55:17,600 --> 00:55:20,120 do? Yes, I will stand up for myself 1075 00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:24,160 and the people I love, but most of the time is it needed to have 1076 00:55:24,160 --> 00:55:26,960 a fight like I I won't, you know? 1077 00:55:26,960 --> 00:55:30,520 But again, that goes towards behaviors and not necessarily 1078 00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:31,680 personalities. I don't. 1079 00:55:32,160 --> 00:55:35,120 I've learned over the last little while that personalities 1080 00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:42,680 are surface level I triggers or signs of who you are. 1081 00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:47,200 But personalities change a lot. Behaviors can become ingrained 1082 00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,280 because it's. Habits and stuff that we do all 1083 00:55:50,280 --> 00:55:52,520 the time. Or it's a traumatic event that 1084 00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:55,280 happened to you that shifted your approach, such as your 1085 00:55:55,280 --> 00:55:58,240 daughter being bit. It's changed her approach on a 1086 00:55:58,240 --> 00:56:00,880 lot of things. And so she's different ever 1087 00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:02,120 since that event. Oh, yeah. 1088 00:56:02,200 --> 00:56:05,120 Well, you think every single thing that we do in life 1089 00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:06,800 changes, you know, how it effects? 1090 00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,760 So it's like, you know, yesterday's events will probably 1091 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:13,000 affect something that I do today, you know, and same with 1092 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:15,560 something that I do today will probably affect something that I 1093 00:56:15,560 --> 00:56:17,960 do tomorrow because of an effect that it had. 1094 00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:20,400 And it's like, it's really interesting because if we had 1095 00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,280 something, you know, it was like Addie. 1096 00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:26,320 Addie was at school and she was like, oh, this, Oh no, she has 1097 00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:31,440 a, we go to my mom's house on Sundays for dinner sometimes. 1098 00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:34,960 She has these little cousins who are Addie's almost 13. 1099 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:39,360 She's got cousins who are like 8 years old and they're boys and 1100 00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:42,000 they're Dicks. They're like, she's like, oh, 1101 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:43,520 they smacked me or they threw something at me. 1102 00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,320 I'm like, so hit him back, push him down. 1103 00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:49,320 She's like, but they'll tell their dad and I'm like, uh huh. 1104 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,960 And you know who I am? You come tell me and I will talk 1105 00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:57,440 to their parents because they know that you won't do it unless 1106 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,040 their kid did it first. And their kid does it every 1107 00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:01,760 week. And that's the only reason why 1108 00:57:01,760 --> 00:57:04,200 it's happening because you're trying to get it to stop. 1109 00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:06,760 Like, you're not doing it intentionally. 1110 00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,800 You're not, you know, hurting them. 1111 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,720 You're just telling them to stop. 1112 00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:13,280 You're pushing them back. You're doing this. 1113 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:17,000 And I was like, in the animal world, if a dog bites another 1114 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:19,320 dog, they'll bite them back. They're not going to go, oh, 1115 00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,560 here, do it again. I'm sorry, let me turn over. 1116 00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:24,320 No, they learn this is not acceptable. 1117 00:57:24,320 --> 00:57:26,880 This is the boundary that I have set. 1118 00:57:27,320 --> 00:57:30,800 Well, but if we don't set boundaries, people walk all over 1119 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:32,240 that. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's 1120 00:57:32,240 --> 00:57:35,000 even that it's it's allowing these other people to know that 1121 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:37,520 like, you know it in those situations. 1122 00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:40,400 You know, if it if it was like say this happened, this is like 1123 00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,480 a a random situation. Brand and I are walking down the 1124 00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,600 street, some unsavory people are coming, they're talking shit and 1125 00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,680 they want to hurt us. First thing I'm going to tell 1126 00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:50,240 Brandon, go get the cops. I'll be here. 1127 00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:53,720 I'll deal with it. Because I'm more I, I am geared 1128 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:55,400 towards that. I'm more equipped for that. 1129 00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,720 But The thing is too is that what's great part is that in 1130 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:02,000 that same scenario, Brandon would be like, dude, this isn't 1131 00:58:02,000 --> 00:58:04,200 worth it. Let's just get out of here and 1132 00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:06,800 like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, like, hey guys. 1133 00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,280 What's the logical thing? Right? 1134 00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,760 You're obviously. Yeah, I or I'd be like, hey, 1135 00:58:10,760 --> 00:58:13,720 what the hell, 'cause you it's emotional. 1136 00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:17,400 It's like and like I again, confrontation. 1137 00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:21,280 Like I went to a rave and there was this guy and I said, I said 1138 00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:23,960 something, I don't even remember what it was nothing. 1139 00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:29,120 And the guy was black and he instantly snapped and gets mad, 1140 00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:31,800 gets in my face on a K brand. I was like, hey man, what's 1141 00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:32,840 what's going on? What? 1142 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:35,080 Was he mad about? He thought it was a racist 1143 00:58:35,080 --> 00:58:36,760 thing. I don't know what it was on a K 1144 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:39,320 man. I was like, listen, you are the 1145 00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,600 same as me, I'm the same as you. There's no difference here. 1146 00:58:43,080 --> 00:58:46,720 Even race, dude, like even race has been able to understand why 1147 00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,320 people feel that way. It's not a victim mentality. 1148 00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:53,240 Something happened to them where they feel triggered and it's 1149 00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:57,240 scary to I, I feel for that. Like, you know, because you 1150 00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,280 know, as white as I have. Yeah, at the end I was like, hey 1151 00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:01,880 man, like. Because you're like that though, 1152 00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:05,120 dude, that's what. That was it and it was so this 1153 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:08,320 I, I met this guy, he's Polynesian. 1154 00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:12,120 He's a big old Poly guy and and he's always like, I went and met 1155 00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:15,520 a couple of his friends over to tattoo parlor and that first 1156 00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,000 time I met him and that I talked to him for maybe 10 minutes and 1157 00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:23,320 then and then I left and I gave him all hugs first time I met 1158 00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:24,800 him. But that's just that's. 1159 00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,520 That's. Who I am and. 1160 00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,240 And he was like, oh see, it's it's just the energy like it's 1161 00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,960 it's how he is. But that's like I why bring 1162 00:59:33,960 --> 00:59:36,040 negativity? Why bring anger if I don't have 1163 00:59:36,040 --> 00:59:39,200 to? Like I don't like existing in 1164 00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:40,440 that. I went through divorce. 1165 00:59:40,440 --> 00:59:43,560 I've lived in anger and anxiety and depression for fucking 1166 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:45,200 months. And then that's kind of 1167 00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:48,520 something that I, I want you to kind of reflect on too, man, is 1168 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,880 that these aren't circumstances that are happening to you. 1169 00:59:53,240 --> 00:59:58,040 It's it's what you're doing to react to them because it's the 1170 00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:00,600 same like why? I understand why you've had such 1171 01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:04,400 shitty experience with cops. Even that they. 1172 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,800 Try to be so polite to all of them because of it. 1173 01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,760 Well, dude, no, I mean, what we, what we perceive as polite could 1174 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:11,840 not be. It could be impolite to others. 1175 01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,360 And so a lot of it deals with tonality. 1176 01:00:14,960 --> 01:00:18,240 Tonality is huge in in being able to convey something to 1177 01:00:18,240 --> 01:00:20,640 somebody so they can go, Oh, OK, I know where this is coming 1178 01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:24,080 from, but it makes so much sense because dude, like you're like, 1179 01:00:24,520 --> 01:00:27,040 I've been arrested, which time I've been in jail, but I'm, I'm 1180 01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:29,840 like, I've been in handcuffs, but I've always been let go. 1181 01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,640 I've never been divorced. I've I mean, you know, like I, 1182 01:00:33,640 --> 01:00:36,760 I, I've had AI mean I've been very blessed. 1183 01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,480 I have a great marriage. I have a had a wonderful. 1184 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:41,800 I've been with my wife for 21 years. 1185 01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:44,840 It's a long ass time but it feels like a short amount of 1186 01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:47,560 time but again, like. No, I mean, that's an 1187 01:00:47,560 --> 01:00:49,440 accomplishment. That's that's fantastic. 1188 01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:51,640 But. And on the other side, it's my 1189 01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:55,280 constant need for validation. That's what I know that. 1190 01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:57,320 And it sounds like a needy thing. 1191 01:00:57,480 --> 01:01:00,960 But when I say that, and then going back to that, to the that 1192 01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,000 horrible interaction where that guy was like, oh, he thought it 1193 01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:05,920 was racist. It's this interaction that 1194 01:01:05,920 --> 01:01:08,320 you've learned and that you're just like, OK, everybody's out 1195 01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,880 to get me. And what was so awesome is that 1196 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:15,280 your energy just surpassed that. It's like that guy walking 1197 01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,080 through that neighborhood in Illinois with a joint and he got 1198 01:01:18,080 --> 01:01:20,040 it with in one of the most violent neighborhoods I'm sure. 1199 01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:21,480 I would do. People are angry. 1200 01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,760 I'd like hey man. Want to smoke the South like? 1201 01:01:24,200 --> 01:01:26,320 Tell me what's what's going on? Like I'm sorry. 1202 01:01:26,760 --> 01:01:29,200 Tell me, why are you frustrated? There's some good kush. 1203 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,200 Like let's smoke about this Cushman. 1204 01:01:31,560 --> 01:01:33,280 Honestly, at the end of the day, you'll enjoy it. 1205 01:01:33,280 --> 01:01:36,000 That's my solution. I'm frustrated, I'm emotional, 1206 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,560 I'm stressed. OK, well why the fuck am I all 1207 01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,640 this way? I need to go smoke about it and 1208 01:01:40,640 --> 01:01:43,640 see why I'm like this. Because this isn't normal for 1209 01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:45,360 me. This isn't a normal state to go 1210 01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,200 I'm like this. Well why? 1211 01:01:47,240 --> 01:01:48,760 What the fuck is wrong with you bro? 1212 01:01:48,960 --> 01:01:51,880 Simmer down, go smoke something. And then I sit back and like oh 1213 01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:53,280 man, I know seen. That this. 1214 01:01:53,360 --> 01:01:55,360 Really is what is and I'm like OK. 1215 01:01:55,920 --> 01:01:59,000 That's so funny dude. Like, but it's introspection. 1216 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:02,000 Cannabis is given that like, time to introspect and sit back 1217 01:02:02,000 --> 01:02:03,440 and go like, hey. That's why. 1218 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,520 Dude you need to get really fucking high and read this. 1219 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:08,200 Oh I will multiple. I will have to. 1220 01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:09,560 Hear Here's something else, dude. 1221 01:02:09,560 --> 01:02:13,320 K So the best careers for you are researchers, professors, 1222 01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:16,520 technical expert, web designers or coders, accounting, 1223 01:02:16,520 --> 01:02:19,840 engineering, data analysts, science or math careers. 1224 01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:23,520 Jobs where they can continue to learn and have fresh challenges. 1225 01:02:23,520 --> 01:02:26,520 Sounds terrible. I'd rather smoke pot for a 1226 01:02:26,520 --> 01:02:30,640 living, educate people about it, talk about it, and, you know, do 1227 01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,080 stuff like that. Researcher professors continue 1228 01:02:33,080 --> 01:02:38,400 to learn along the way on data and you know, jobs keep my 1229 01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,560 interest. Yeah, dude, all of that just 1230 01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:43,120 makes complete sense. Look that's they like to work. 1231 01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:46,080 That requires independence, efficiency, and mechanical 1232 01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:47,560 abilities. That's why you're good at like 1233 01:02:47,560 --> 01:02:50,520 electrician shit. They are not good in positions 1234 01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:54,640 where empathy, caring, emotional connection, flexibility, fast 1235 01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:58,080 decision making, or teamwork are required. 1236 01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,640 You're good to work in a team, but you're great to that one. 1237 01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:07,080 The emotional connection, dude. Like I would never put you in a 1238 01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:11,680 customer service role ever. And the reason why is because it 1239 01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:14,000 goes against your nature. It's not that you're a bad 1240 01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,440 person, it's just like, I don't want to fucking do that. 1241 01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:19,760 Like the worst job for Brandon to have is customer service. 1242 01:03:19,840 --> 01:03:23,600 Which is hilarious because almost every job that I have 1243 01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:26,680 done has been customer facing customer. 1244 01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:32,160 That's why I think now here's another phenomenon that happens 1245 01:03:32,160 --> 01:03:35,560 with shapes. What you wear was a child can 1246 01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:38,120 change, will change based upon circumstances. 1247 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:41,080 So you're divorced. I remember after you're 1248 01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:43,680 divorced, you completely changed. 100%. 1249 01:03:43,920 --> 01:03:47,400 So that's what happened. That was your trigger point, and 1250 01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:49,800 then all the sudden all these other things mattered. 1251 01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:54,280 Yeah, it went from like, I was a dad and I love being a dad and I 1252 01:03:54,280 --> 01:03:55,680 love playing with my kids and stuff. 1253 01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:59,440 But like the time and the value, things changed. 1254 01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:02,280 Like, really? Yeah, makes sense, doesn't it? 1255 01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,960 That makes so much sense because before it was. 1256 01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,640 Very different. Beamers and all sorts. 1257 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,160 Of stuff very materialistic. Very. 1258 01:04:11,160 --> 01:04:13,560 You see that you were. But I wasn't in a in a good 1259 01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:14,040 state either. You. 1260 01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:17,600 Were in a clarity state. So so dude, that is a fantastic 1261 01:04:17,600 --> 01:04:20,800 thing that I, I and, and realizing these things, dude, 1262 01:04:20,800 --> 01:04:23,480 it's and this is the hard part because I don't like trying to 1263 01:04:23,480 --> 01:04:26,240 come off as a know it all. I, it's just cool because it's 1264 01:04:26,240 --> 01:04:29,200 like, it's like putting on my glasses and seeing the world 1265 01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:31,800 differently because everybody else sees it differently. 1266 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:37,640 But when I put those on and I can be selfless and I go, wait a 1267 01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:39,520 minute, they may be acting certain way. 1268 01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,280 So when you started saying things and I was like, oh, 1269 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:43,960 you're a rectangle and you're like, Nah. 1270 01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,200 And then I start telling you that shit and you're like, oh 1271 01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:48,800 fuck. Yeah, that's a lot of crazy. 1272 01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,520 No, that's way more spot on because like the circle and 1273 01:04:51,520 --> 01:04:53,960 stuff there's, but you said there's similarities in all of 1274 01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:56,480 them, but. Because you love people, you 1275 01:04:56,480 --> 01:04:59,440 want to love people, but you only want to love people that 1276 01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:02,680 you trust. Yeah, makes sense. 1277 01:05:03,680 --> 01:05:06,680 Like, well, I I love that everyone is a human, but I 1278 01:05:06,680 --> 01:05:08,720 don't. Like to let them into like my 1279 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:12,760 emotional exchange with Brandon. That requires trust. 1280 01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:16,840 A lot of trust and it's a trust and verify again, research, 1281 01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:19,240 right. That's why the concept of 1282 01:05:19,240 --> 01:05:21,800 marriage to you is null and vilified. 1283 01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:25,680 Vilified because it's like that contractual agreement is 1284 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:28,400 bullshit and here's why. And you would list out all the 1285 01:05:28,400 --> 01:05:30,960 things as I'm like, no, I'm fine with that. 1286 01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:33,200 I'm married to my wife and I love that and I love the 1287 01:05:33,200 --> 01:05:35,240 symbology of that. And I would never break that 1288 01:05:35,240 --> 01:05:39,080 trust, but because that's how I value it and other people are. 1289 01:05:39,080 --> 01:05:41,760 And you had a horrible experience your first marriage. 1290 01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:44,120 And. Yeah, it's not that it would 1291 01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,440 turn you off. It's just like logically going. 1292 01:05:46,880 --> 01:05:51,000 I mean, after that, yeah. It was like, I think one of the 1293 01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:56,720 biggest things was having kids. And I was like, I I will never 1294 01:05:56,720 --> 01:06:00,720 have another kid with another person because the heartache and 1295 01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:04,720 the pain and that of like having them move across the country or 1296 01:06:05,200 --> 01:06:10,240 not seeing them all the time, Like I would never want to put, 1297 01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:13,000 I would never want to go through that again or put another kid 1298 01:06:13,160 --> 01:06:16,200 through that again. And I wouldn't do that again. 1299 01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:19,040 And I tell you, man, I mean, I've always respected that, but 1300 01:06:19,040 --> 01:06:23,480 I know more now about you today than I have known in the last 10 1301 01:06:23,480 --> 01:06:25,400 years. That's crazy. 1302 01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:29,680 That's crazy, dude. Like you think about it, because 1303 01:06:30,480 --> 01:06:34,680 now understanding that about you, I know that there are 1304 01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:36,960 certain things like if I say I'm going to be there at a certain 1305 01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:39,680 time, I better let you know well ahead of time that I'm going to 1306 01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,680 be late. Yeah, I love that because if it 1307 01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:44,480 otherwise it's like it, That is probably one of my biggest pet 1308 01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:46,240 peeves. But see, The thing is, you won't 1309 01:06:46,240 --> 01:06:49,400 tell people, you won't tell them what to do because you just 1310 01:06:49,400 --> 01:06:52,520 assuming that the weight of the issue should be enough. 1311 01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:56,440 Often, Yeah, yeah. So what's really cool is that 1312 01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:59,000 you'll be able to understand it, but the real good part about it 1313 01:06:59,000 --> 01:07:02,240 is just saying, hey, look, I value you punctuality a lot. 1314 01:07:02,760 --> 01:07:05,600 I'm setting it for this time. If you don't show up, it's going 1315 01:07:05,600 --> 01:07:07,800 to piss me off. It's just knowing, you know, 1316 01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,960 'cause I'm like, if I know that it's at a different time, hey, 1317 01:07:10,960 --> 01:07:12,440 I'm going to be late. That's totally fine. 1318 01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:14,080 He's going to be late. It's going to be later. 1319 01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:16,880 Like, but it's when it's planned and I'm like, fuck, all right, 1320 01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:19,240 well now it's when's he going to show up? 1321 01:07:19,240 --> 01:07:22,120 And then I'm like, fuck, I can't beat these other things. 1322 01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:26,680 Like 'cause I get distracted or I'm into something else or I had 1323 01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:31,520 a phone call or so here's what I can do now, what I can do, 1324 01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:33,160 because this is what I can control. 1325 01:07:33,360 --> 01:07:35,520 What I can control is knowing that about you. 1326 01:07:36,080 --> 01:07:40,160 I have to be more aware of any time that we spend together when 1327 01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:42,880 it's something that we do like this. 1328 01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,720 If it's something like that, if it's to chill, that's totally 1329 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:47,080 different. Chillings, whatever. 1330 01:07:47,080 --> 01:07:49,800 Yeah. But when it's this, I understand 1331 01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:51,840 that. And the great part is that you 1332 01:07:51,840 --> 01:07:54,800 can understand with me saying, hey, Jess, I know you have a 1333 01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,400 tendency to kind of get lost in things. 1334 01:07:56,400 --> 01:07:58,280 Do you have anything else going on today? 1335 01:07:58,280 --> 01:08:00,880 But I can ask you and we can communicate that and we 1336 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:03,080 understand. And when you say that to me, I 1337 01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:06,400 go, oh, Jesse, remember this is now a target. 1338 01:08:06,440 --> 01:08:10,040 And so I have to assimilate it with something that I am going 1339 01:08:10,040 --> 01:08:11,440 after. That's a goal and a strategy 1340 01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:15,520 because I'm so I'm so competitive that I have to turn 1341 01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:17,840 it into a positive. So I go, I'm going to be 1342 01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:19,920 competitive on doing the thing that you like. 1343 01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,840 So I know what you're doing and what you value. 1344 01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:26,760 And if I know what you value, then I know that my interactions 1345 01:08:26,760 --> 01:08:30,080 are going to be so much easier and that we are going to get so 1346 01:08:30,080 --> 01:08:34,399 much more out of an interaction. And that's why when Kim, dude, 1347 01:08:34,399 --> 01:08:38,160 she has, she's an expert on relationship. 1348 01:08:38,160 --> 01:08:42,160 She is one of the best experts I have ever met in relationships 1349 01:08:42,439 --> 01:08:44,319 because she doesn't come up with this hokey shit. 1350 01:08:44,319 --> 01:08:47,080 She just goes, you're different and they're different. 1351 01:08:47,359 --> 01:08:48,920 You want to do couples therapy, great. 1352 01:08:48,920 --> 01:08:51,920 We do it individually. You guys don't get to sit in the 1353 01:08:51,920 --> 01:08:54,960 same room and bitch and back. And what they do, she gives them 1354 01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:57,560 both assignments, then they go, and then they both come back 1355 01:08:57,560 --> 01:09:00,240 individually and report. On their assignments and that, 1356 01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:01,240 yeah. Dude, it was cool. 1357 01:09:01,240 --> 01:09:03,120 I met a couple 20 years ago, They came to Kim. 1358 01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:04,800 They still practice the exact same thing. 1359 01:09:05,160 --> 01:09:06,960 They were on the verge of divorce. 1360 01:09:07,399 --> 01:09:09,240 And that's what's really great about it. 1361 01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:13,160 It's insightful, it's fun, but more on the sense dude. 1362 01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:16,160 It's a cheat code for talking to people. 1363 01:09:16,359 --> 01:09:19,960 If you can figure out what your shape is so we'll put a link 1364 01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:21,880 below. Yeah, go to talkshapes.com. 1365 01:09:21,880 --> 01:09:24,640 Pick me as your coach so you don't get the e-mail campaign. 1366 01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:28,520 Or if you get an e-mail from him, message him back if you 1367 01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:31,200 have questions and go, hey, is this my shape? 1368 01:09:31,560 --> 01:09:35,800 Because I mean kind of like we found out today I might not be 1369 01:09:35,800 --> 01:09:38,479 a. Yeah, just the the best way to 1370 01:09:38,479 --> 01:09:42,800 be able to take that test is to take it like you're in Incognito 1371 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,880 mode looking at, you know what? It was hard though. 1372 01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:47,680 I tried to. I tried to Incognito it and go 1373 01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:50,120 like, how would I like? Who was really Brandon? 1374 01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:52,840 And then that's the cool part is that if you don't feel like 1375 01:09:52,840 --> 01:09:55,960 that, get somebody who's the closest to you and saying, hey, 1376 01:09:55,960 --> 01:09:59,200 would you take this quiz? It's about me and I want you to 1377 01:09:59,240 --> 01:10:01,320 see like. Do you notice these behaviours? 1378 01:10:01,440 --> 01:10:04,320 Oh, and see if it does anything different it would show up 1379 01:10:04,480 --> 01:10:06,800 that's. Because I've learned, I mean, I 1380 01:10:06,800 --> 01:10:10,760 became fanatical about it, like you came about the tax stuff and 1381 01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,800 I learned this so fast. It scared the shit out of Kim 1382 01:10:15,480 --> 01:10:16,800 because I'm like, oh, what do you mean like this? 1383 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,680 Then this, this is and she's just like, yeah, you're an 1384 01:10:19,680 --> 01:10:21,760 Octagon. Like she has me down. 1385 01:10:22,440 --> 01:10:26,000 And so it's, it's a really, dude, it's just awesome being 1386 01:10:26,000 --> 01:10:30,120 that self aware and knowing that why I get upset and it's so 1387 01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:31,720 awesome. You know, The thing is, I just 1388 01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:33,200 kept going. I'm like, if Brandon's taking it 1389 01:10:33,200 --> 01:10:34,800 multiple times. And I guess that's what it is 1390 01:10:34,800 --> 01:10:36,880 because Brandon's one of the almost honest people I know. 1391 01:10:37,240 --> 01:10:39,720 But The thing is it's it's harder to be honest with 1392 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:42,560 ourselves, so there is a reason why. 1393 01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:46,360 Like I think it is like you try to be honest, but you don't like 1394 01:10:46,360 --> 01:10:49,280 we know we don't know truly sometimes our driving factors we 1395 01:10:49,280 --> 01:10:51,800 know because we don't analyze and look at well, what was my 1396 01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:56,000 driving fear or that behind it? And you know, so or maybe the 1397 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:58,360 book, maybe the book is a great way to do it because reading 1398 01:10:58,360 --> 01:11:01,400 through each shape, you might be able to actually go this shape. 1399 01:11:01,400 --> 01:11:03,680 Actually I can see way more within. 1400 01:11:03,840 --> 01:11:06,880 Well, and then it's, it's the the one sheeter, the the crazy 1401 01:11:06,880 --> 01:11:09,400 thing, like if you get crazy like you're just like, I can't 1402 01:11:09,400 --> 01:11:13,560 make any of this shit work. They have guides, coaches that 1403 01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:15,880 you can be able to work with that will help you through that 1404 01:11:15,880 --> 01:11:18,240 process. It's really cool. 1405 01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:22,120 I've I've gone through the other course on, on how to implement 1406 01:11:22,120 --> 01:11:25,880 all of the like deep steps, almost like one-on-one therapy 1407 01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:26,840 type stuff. OK. 1408 01:11:27,600 --> 01:11:30,080 And it's profound. It's really profound. 1409 01:11:30,080 --> 01:11:33,040 I realized a lot of traumas from my childhood just in the 1410 01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:34,360 training sessions. I was like. 1411 01:11:34,480 --> 01:11:37,280 Fuck crazy and. And it was just amazing when 1412 01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:40,520 you, when you listen to her, oh dude, it's super insightful. 1413 01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:42,880 But you know what? You guys can get all the 1414 01:11:42,880 --> 01:11:45,840 information about 12 shapes on the 12 shapes she Kim has. 1415 01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,080 Yeah, I mean if. Jesse, you'll have a a show 1416 01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,440 coming out soon so we'll. Yeah, we'll have the link in 1417 01:11:51,440 --> 01:11:52,920 there. We'll get that built up today. 1418 01:11:53,320 --> 01:11:55,320 But anyways. TuneIn next week. 1419 01:11:55,440 --> 01:11:57,240 Yeah, make sure to have some greens.