I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse.
We're. Cannabis school having cannabis
infused conversations. With everyday.
People, Cannabis companies. Celebrities.
And your mom. Welcome to the Sash.
So Adam, thank you so much for being here, brother.
Thank you. It's an honor, Jesse.
Yeah. And to be here with you and
Brandon and. Yeah, it's an honor.
Yeah, we, you know the reason why we wanted to bring you on.
You have such an amazing story about where you came from, how
you grew up and ultimately what you've been guided to do now.
And I think it's super cool because being able to be
connected to people is such a strong, strong pull that we all
have. But life tends to kind of like
just get us caught up in the day-to-day where we kind of
leave everything like ourselves, who we are kind of behind.
And I just have loved your journey.
That's why I like when we got together recently.
You know, for a very fun sesh that definitely shouldn't have
been recorded. But.
And we didn't. But you know.
We thought about it. We were actually thinking about
doing an episode until it was. Until we were there.
Psilocybin and Ketaminix. Yeah it was pretty it was pretty
intense. So but I I gotta tell you though
it's it's really cool that you know, I I just wanted to let you
tell people about who you are what you've done.
So let's kind of start off like you were raised in in the Mormon
faith, right? In the LDS.
Yeah, raised LDS. Yep.
Raised here in Salt Lake. Yeah, oldest of four boys.
Pretty traditional middle class family.
Growing up in the predominant religion, did you go on a
mission? Yeah, I did.
Went on a mission, went to Argentina, you know, had a great
experience there. And, yeah.
And again, right. We're raised this way as far as,
you know, beliefs and so forth and kind of just went through it
and did the motions and went through the motions and you
know, kind of did that whole thing and ended up getting
married when I was young. So I was 23 when I, you know, I
got married. And yeah, I was married for 17
years. I have four incredible sons that
I'm so grateful for. Yeah, just amazing.
I love them. We've got such an incredible
relationship. And you know, I got, I actually
ended up getting divorced about six years ago.
And you know what started me down?
This journey of self discovery self really kind of getting self
worth right. You know it's interesting I
think and I don't think I'm alone in this man.
You know a lot of times men we as men like tie our identity to
other things. It's to success, it's to money.
It's to outside of us right as far as like what is our worth
like what are we truly worth. And you know I've, you know I've
battled many things in my life and you know one of the one of
the big things that I've battled for a lot of for majority of my
life was my weight, you know. So for most of my life, you
know, food was the drug, eating was the addiction.
And you know, I battled weight loss and weight gain my entire
life. And I could go on Oprah and talk
about, you know, literally, literally hundreds of pounds
over the years. You know, just back and forth
and back and forth. Just yo-yo.
I mean, I've done every fat diet.
I've done all of it right. And at the core of it, and I
think I truly believe this at the core of any, you know,
someone that's like overweight or in my case like morbidly
overweight or morbidly over, you know, morbidly obese is it's,
it's the inability to regulate emotions, right.
And so I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the tools.
And so I turned to food, You know, food.
What if I was excited, I was eating.
If I was anxious, sad, whatever emotion I was feeling, food was
the go to, right. And it's this interesting cycle.
I mean addiction, right? So food's mine every.
I mean my belief is we're all addicted to something.
I don't, I don't care who you are, right?
So there's such so much emphasis on you know drugs and alcohol or
porn you know. But if there's sugar, there's
you could be addicted to drama, you could be addicted to social
media, you could be addicted to work, you could be addicted to
exercise. I mean we all have a modat.
We all have something that we go to and and the and our intention
is to actually self soothe. The addiction is rooted in self
soothing, right? So when we get anxious and we
feel something we it doesn't feel comfortable.
So what do we do to get rid of it?
Try and make ourselves feel better in whatever way we can.
Exactly. And we all have different
modalities and there's no again no judgement whatever someone
has. But when you get into a cycle of
turning to something that then and then then after it where the
you know you're getting a temporary relief but then
afterwards it creates pain, right?
It's probably not the best modality like to use or to lean
on. And so food was mine.
I mean, I just had the most. The cycle of it, the cycle of it
on and off was just, it was horrific for me and I didn't
know how to get out of it. Have you struggled with that
most of your life? Most of my life, yeah.
And it's just your recently, I mean I've lost, you know, I've
lost over 125 lbs. So I've you know, I I peaked out
close to £350. I've seen your pictures on
social and you're like a whole. Fucking different man There.
Yeah, you're like 1/3. Of the man who used to be it's
it's insane. Yeah, it's crazy.
So props to you. You look amazing.
Thank you. And I like what you said there,
like you were trapped in this prison of your body and your
mind, like you just couldn't escape, but you wanted to get
out. Well, my worth was tied to that.
Everything was tied to how I looked and so you know and again
the discord in my marriage when I was married was like IA lot of
it. I put on my weight right.
And how I you know move through the world.
I I we go to with my kids you know we go to water parks to do
stuff. I wouldn't participate.
I wouldn't be involved. I was too self-conscious.
I was embarrassed. Right.
And then I'd see dads. Dads that wear shirts in the
pools. Let's I just want you guys all
to know if there's anyone listening that does.
It doesn't. You're not hiding anything in.
Fact. In fact, you're actually showing
more, right? And it's like, I don't want to
be that guy, you know? And so I just never felt
comfortable and it's such a, it's such a a sad feeling that
my entire worth was tied to that.
Right. And there's so much more to it
than just that. And so again, not knowing how to
regulate all these emotions and and not how to deal with all
this stuff that I I had a moment about, I don't know, about seven
years ago, give or take, where I kind of started down the self
discovery and I I had a moment, I was actually talking to my
father and I finally opened up a little bit about where I was in
my marriage. It just kind of opened.
I needed to talk about. I haven't talked about it with
anybody. Yeah.
And in the course of our conversation, I had this this
overwhelming feeling that it's like, Adam, you've got to work
on you. You got to make this about you.
And again, at the time, it's like I'm pointing a finger at
everybody else. But the reality is it's like,
no, this is for you to decide. So I had a brother that had gone
through a divorce, and I didn't at that time like to open up and
share feelings or talk about anything or the idea of going to
therapy. I'm like, no way.
Like, I don't need that. But I finally was at a point
like, you know, what I'm doing is not working.
So if I want something to change, I have to change.
I mean that's the core thing of where I'm at today is like, we
are anything in our lives that is not working or is not in
alignment or we're unhappy with that.
We're not hitting our goals. We are the common denominator in
all of it. We are the problem and we are
also the solution to get ourselves out of it, right.
So I ended up calling a therapist and you know, got her
on the phone. She goes, why do you want to go
in? And and I quote, I go, I need to
figure my shit out. And that was the beginning of
my, you know, and I I think healing's a a lifelong process,
but it was the really the beginning for me to really start
to dig in and understand what makes me tick.
Why do I, you know why do I do what I do?
Why do I have all these limiting beliefs, this lack of self love,
this lack of self respect? Cause the truth is, is I was
gorging myself with food. It's it's a it's a There's a
lack of self respect with it. Yeah.
You've told me a lot of, I mean we've we've known each other
here now for almost a year. And you know I it's just going
back to all the stories that you shared with me.
You know, I I felt that that sadness in you like just being
trapped in it. And like when you talk about
that those pictures that you see on his Instagram where, you know
you see this massive transformation where now you've
built yourself where you truly treat your body as a temple.
Now, like you, you're like no, this is, this is.
I've worked very hard for this and you've stuck with it.
How long have you kept the weight off?
Yeah. And it's, it's still gradual
press. So I started this kind of weight
loss journey about five years ago and and to me, it's an
evolution, right. And I I used to always be the
guy that it's like, you know what's really popular today is
like 75 hard. Like I love it.
It's a great jump start. But almost everybody I know
that's done that or is doing it like they lose the weight in a
short period of time. Then they get to the end and
they go right back to where they were and in many cases even
more, even more so. Right.
And that was me that years ago there was the what's called the
HCG diet. So basically you'd you'd put
these drops under your tongue, some people got a shot, and then
you only ate 500 calories a day. And I mean, I cross.
Brandon's. No bro, I would die.
I have such a high metabolism it gets insane.
But like there was a time where I'd lost 100 lbs.
So I'd lost 50 lbs the old school way.
And then I started doing the HCG diet and I lost 50 lbs literally
in like 2 1/2 months. Like, just came off.
But the minute I was done, I'm like, oh, I mean, I didn't
integrate. I didn't, like, start eating
health. I just kind of went right back
to your habits, 'cause I hadn't changed.
The habit, the. Habit and more importantly, like
the the limiting beliefs internally.
Behind it, yeah. So I think in order to, you
know, the our outward body, our our physical body is an outward
manifestation of what's going on in the inside at the end of the
day. And so my weight loss became
permanent and I'll never go back because I've, I've been healing
the inside and as I've healed the inside, the weight's been
coming off and and continue to fall off and I'm just continuing
to reform my body. And it's it, I mean, it's
exciting. It's like, well, what else can I
do? What else can I do?
You know, and it's, it's understanding the emotional side
of it, you know, and the weight loss in the nutrition industry.
I mean, let's be honest, the formula to losing weight and
getting in shape is pretty simple.
It's calories in, calories out, exercise, build muscle.
And I mean oversimplifying it. What's not addressed is the
mental and the emotional attachment to it.
That's really what it comes down to.
So how do we overcome those aspects of it?
Man. What sparked that?
Was it your divorce? Was it plant medicine?
What triggered that initial? Yeah.
So I I would say everything right for that perspective.
I think, you know, it's interesting.
You know, we all want to change. There's most of us have
something in our life that we don't like, right?
But it's fascinating that it's like, yeah, I I desire, like for
example, when I was really overweight, I desired to be in
shape. I was really uncomfortable with
where I was. Because no one wants to be.
Yeah, but the truth is, I wasn't uncomfortable enough to make the
change. So it it in a weird way, I was.
There was comfort in the discomfort of where I was.
It was my norm. It was my baseline.
Yeah, familiar. Exactly.
There was a familiarity to it. Right.
And so, you know what, what transpired for me and I finally
had a breaking point that'll share is, you know, and you
know, plant medicine has been a big part of my life.
I'm a huge advocate for it in the right settings.
I mean like anything there can be abuse associated with it.
But it it truly is a tool if used correctly, that really
brings you back to you. I mean and so when I was
actually when I was married, you know, I was spinning, I didn't
know what to do. Our our marriage is falling
apart and and like back up to, you know, on the outside, it's
like I had a thriving business. I was making a ton of money, had
all the stuff right. Didn't have a lot growing up.
And so a lot of my worth went into my home and the toys and
all the things and all the trips and you know, all the money I
was making. So my worth was tied to that and
my identity was tied to my business.
But underneath it, right, I was dying inside.
I wasn't happy. I didn't feel good about myself
and you know, and not knowing what to do with.
And I finally got to a point when I got into therapy, I'm
like, this isn't working. What do we do right?
So I started. I didn't have a voice.
A lot of times I was, I'm a recovering people pleaser and I
I wouldn't express what I needed.
I mean, lots of things, just horrible communication.
And when two people get married, when you're 23, I mean.
You don't. Yeah, you don't know shit.
You know, I've joked with my kids, I'm like, you need to be
30 before you get married. You're gonna be disowned, right?
But I just feel like, and again, there's so much grace in it,
'cause we didn't know what we were doing.
Right Heights, 2020. Yeah, so towards the end, go to
therapy, doing stuff. We just kept hitting Roblox,
Roblox, Roadblox and a friend of mine had talked about started to
talk about plant medicine. I didn't know what this was,
right? But I was at a point like, I'm
willing to try anything, you know.
And so here I am still, you know, in the LDS faith and and
not understand, like right now I'm willing to do anything like
I need to figure this out. So I was introduced the first
time I was introduced to something called 5 Meo or
Bufo's, the other name for it. And you know, there's a shaman
that administers it when you're sitting there and she looks at
me and she goes, you're going to have 10 years of therapy in the
next 30 minutes. And I kid you not, I had 10
years of therapy in 30 minutes. It was the scariest, hardest
thing up to that point that I had ever felt in my entire life.
And and the way I explain it is, you know it in in five MEO, it's
DMT, right. So it's in the way it hits your
receptors, the way it hits your brain.
It's like the way I explain any kind of plant medicine as it
takes your, you know, we all have two parts of our, you know,
our consciousness, we have subconscious, We have the
conscious side of it. You know, the subconscious is
designed to keep us safe. Most of what we do during life
is just like mindlessness and subconscious kind of taking
over. Like how many conscious
decisions are we making? Are we choosing every?
Day. Very minimal because we are
subconscious creatures. It'd be overwhelming if we had
to consciously make every decision.
So what plant medicine does and some of them medallions, which
we'll talk here about in a minute, specifically ayahuasca.
But with what? Basically for me, what it does
is it takes your conscious and your subconscious and the divine
God, it puts everything in alignment and then it pulls away
the stories, right? We all have a story.
And the stories are based on
life experiences, based on programming, based off what we
were taught. And when you're in that space,
it peels it all back and it just speaks truth to you and to me.
What they ultimately do when used in the right setting is it
brings you back to you, who's your true self, what's true, and
it's really coming back to loving yourself.
So when I had this first experience, it's as if my heart,
the way I explained, as if as if my heart was encapsulated in six
inches of steel and then that one experience cracked open.
So in cracking open that steel, there was two things I felt.
One, I felt something had never felt before.
But the biggest thing that I'd felt was the lack of self love.
I didn't realize how much I hated myself, how much I loathed
myself, how low myself worth was.
It was so painful, so painful, so painful.
This I didn't know what to do with it, you know?
And the other thing that happened with it is it slowed
everything down for me. So at the time, it's like, you
know, my wife at the time, we'd get in a fight and she'd say,
you said this and all these. And I'm like, I didn't say this.
I didn't. I was going crazy.
I didn't know what was real, what wasn't.
I was literally spinning. And after going through that,
it's like almost like life went on slow motion for me or at
least slowed down so I could decipher, like, Nope, this is
mine. Nope.
That is yours. You know?
And it was, I mean, again, it's truly a medicine in that space.
And so that kind of started, you know, in conjunction with that,
you know, we ultimately decided to get divorced.
And again, not I've started to exercise and started to, you
know, lose weight and do things but like, still not really
changing habits or behaviors. And I had moved out.
I was in my new place, you know, still going through the divorce
process. And my ex-wife, she called me
and just ripped me. And I honestly don't remember
what it was about. But I went into a trance and I
didn't know what to do with it. I was so triggered.
I just started eating, so I'm just eating all this.
And to make things worse, it wasn't enough because it was
still so painful. The pain hadn't gone away yet.
Then I then door dashed even more food and I'm sitting there
alone, all right, My kids are with her and I gorge myself to
the point of just like, pain, uncomfort.
And I, in that moment, I broke down and I just started sobbing
and I said to myself, this does not work, it's time to change.
And that was the pivotal moment for me.
The pain of where I currently was was so intense was so bad,
but it exceeded the pain or the of what I knew what it would
take to get in shape that was stronger.
So the fear of the unknown, the fear of it, it pushed me into
that and it's like it's time to change.
I don't ever want to feel like this again.
And it was that kind of critical moment, that low moment, that
dark moment that put me on a projectile you know to to
getting in shape. But that that's the pivotal
moment for me that I remember most in as it relates to like
literally my truly an addiction to food and managing my emotions
and the self love journey and it's like I needed to really
start down that path and that was a very pivotal moment.
As painful as that day was I'm so grateful for it.
I'm grateful you know for my boy's mom for my Co parent for
that and and I know she and I are in a great space today.
We are such we're good friends we Co parent well our kids are
better off. I mean that divorce, I wouldn't
wish divorce on my worst enemy. But for me, because we for both
of us, we both chose to choose love.
We both chose to kind of reflect it back to ourselves.
And everybody's been better off and and not everyone's the is
that case. I understand that.
But I believe every challenge that we're faced with is
actually a gift from God. It's their lessons to be learned
if we choose to that. But when you're in the thick of
it, When you're in the flames. It never feels that way.
Ever. But the more.
But I also believe, like, even in my own current flames and my
own current challenges today, it's like my perspective on them
has shifted. So I don't give it as much
energy. And I'm like, I know there's a
light at the end of this. I know there's a light actually
to be found in it. You know, we talk about dark and
light. I believe that the light's
actually found in the dark, and it's when you face the dark is
where. That's both develops your true
character like you as a person. Because if life is always easy,
you never experience these like these really shitty experiences,
that dark, that lets the light come true.
Because otherwise you don't have that contrast, you have no idea.
And we just grow up as these happy beings, which I'm sure is
amazing, but it's these really pivotal moments in life that
really just shake you to your core that really make who you
are. Yeah, it's, I mean going into
exactly what Adam I mean he he convinced himself for many
years, even knowing the truth, that, you know, he didn't want
to be that guy. Yeah.
So he didn't want to be hurting. Here's a question.
When you said that first BUFO experience with five Meo, when
you had that and that sudden realization of that you didn't
have self love, that you had this loathing and that I've
experienced that on mirror work with a psilocybin experience.
Did you find after you came out of that, did you find that there
was a self love in there or like has it just taken time to
develop that over? So this, that's a great
question, 'cause I I'm, I'm grateful you're bringing this
up. So when you're in a plant
medicine experience whatever that happens to be right again,
as I said earlier, it's like you take the the subconscious, the
conscious and the divine. Everything in his alignment,
everything is super clear, right?
It is so clear. It's almost sometimes I'm
laughing my ass off because I of how complicated, how overweight,
how we over complicate things in our life.
It's really if you peel all the layers back it's pretty simple
stuff like the formula to success, the formula to this,
the formula to whatever we want. It's pretty simple right.
So the medicine shows you so it's a guide to me in in in so
many ways. Yet it's just it's an experience
that you're experiencing. You're seeing things, you're
seeing truth, you're seeing all these different things but then
the experience ends, right. So then again, like you quote UN
quote, wake up or you're there the next day you're still.
Then the stories come back, the limiting beliefs come back.
There's habits that were there before.
It's not like all of a sudden poor habits.
You still have to do. Work.
You still have to do work. Where you said before there
wasn't any love like my experience when I did mirror
work, I realized in looking in that mirror that I didn't.
I didn't love myself. I hadn't loved myself.
I had loathed myself and hated myself and judged myself in all
these ways that I didn't do to anyone else, that I loved in the
same way. And in that moment, I realized
that I should love myself. I should love myself the same
way that I love Jesse and my kids and my family like every
one of these people. That I should love myself in
that. But I should.
That's The thing is like I should but I don't.
Yes, but I don't right? And it's.
And I haven't shown myself that love.
And it's and it's a slippery slope, because if we get into
the should of the should of that right, then there's all of a
sudden this additional layer of shame that it's like, I don't
love myself, I don't love myself, I don't love myself or
whatever, right? That's just realizing where you
are at. No for sure.
Yeah, but it's, I mean, that was a really hard thing to look at
and I'm sure with you because in that moment, it's looking at
this person, this being or this energy that you are and going,
hey, I haven't held myself to the same value that I've held
anyone else. Yeah, and so mirror work was.
So after that experience, you know, a very someone very close
to me. We were doing a coaching with a
gentleman at the time and it was around the power of words and it
included where mirror work and so everyday we were to write
down I am statements, 20 of them like so I am beautiful, I am
sexy, I'm whatever. Whatever things you needed to
say, write them all down. Like things you'd like to call
into your life for like how you'd really like to see
yourself and then go to the mirror and Sam.
So I wrote down the 20 things at the time and I went to the
mirror and I couldn't. This again, this is after that
experience. I couldn't even say it.
I couldn't look myself in the eyes, in the mirror, 'cause I
didn't believe it. I had 0 conviction to it.
And so we'd, you know, my accountability partner, we'd
come in, we'd start talking about it and she'd be like, I
did this, I did this and I and I sat and made excuses.
I'm like, oh, I've been busy. I haven't done this.
What I didn't have the strength to tell her at the time, which
I've told her since, is like I actually was.
I didn't. I didn't have the strength to do
it. It was too painful.
It felt like you were lying to yourself.
I can't. I can't say this to myself
because at that moment you're like, yeah, I'm just lying.
I don't. I don't feel this.
But what? But, but what the again, going
back to kind of the plant medicine, the catalyst to that,
if you will, is looking in the mirror and not having the
strength to do it. The old MO, the old Atom.
That version before that would have just stayed in it.
But it's like actually I don't like how this feels.
So what do I do about it? So I can sit and complain, I can
self love, I can continue to eat, or I can do something about
it. I can get actually uncomfortable
and get out of my comfort zone because I actually want to look
at myself and be proud of who I am.
I want to love the man in the mirror.
I mean the reality is, you know, it's man or woman.
The the hardest person we have ever faced, do face and will
face is ourselves. Period.
That will never end. Because it never goes away.
And so it's like, so to me. It's like it's the battle
within. It's like, how do I become my
best self? How do I, you know, the limiting
beliefs inside of me? How do I, how do I silence that?
How do I acknowledge that side of me?
But then what do I do to continue to get better?
You know, self love. I think one of the greatest ways
we talk about self love and there's a lot of people in the,
you know, in the spirituality space and like the self help
world, is this like, oh, you're perfect just the way you are.
You love yourself. You know, I think the best way
we love ourselves is continue to progress.
Like I love myself so much, I'm willing to actually get out of
my comfort zone and do more. Yeah, you you do some pretty
hard shit every day. You you take a cold, you you do
the cold bath right and that shit's outside.
We're in Utah right now. It is fucking cold out.
There something degrees or less you?
Gotta, I mean, what's the temperature of your your cold
bath? You know, I had a set of 39, but
then I watched a I've been following a lot of guys that are
really into this and they're like anything under 50 has the
same. Same.
Effect to it, the temperature of the water and so So I'm like,
you know what? So mine set up 45.
Good for you. I'm like, it's 5°.
I'm like, am I that tough much? I mean, I'm getting in it's.
Still cold. It's still cold.
It's affecting you to benefit that 5° to go colder.
If you're getting most of that same benefits from that, do you
do that every day? I do, yeah.
Almost every day and and and what I loved about it, when we
were hanging out we had that sesh, right.
The session will never be recorded.
Yeah, but what was so cool is what you had said to to Bennett,
right? You you said every day I have to
talk myself into it. Yeah, I don't like it's not like
I get excited to do it. It's.
Yeah, you're not a sicko. No, it's like, no, but here's
the, here's the thing And it's like, I think this is really
important because again, we're on the condom, you know,
cannabis, right? I mean, I'm an advocate for when
it's used the prop, you know, in the right settings.
I mean, there's some beautiful things you can do with it and
cannabis food, drugs, anything like there's there can be
excessiveness in it, right? Absolutely.
And that's for each person to determine themselves.
So for me, again, food when I get triggered, even today,
right? I I'm in fairly good shape,
better shape than most people my age now.
But still today if I get triggered, my first instinct is
I want to eat. And and if you take the science
to it, it's like it's the dopamine, it's the dopamine that
we're we're that our brain's searching for, right.
So, So a cold plunge to me is a way for me to get the dopamine
hit without the crash. Interesting.
So it lasts longer. So again, I eat that sugar.
I I love Milano cookies. It's a joke with my boys, like,
so I I can eat a Milano cookie and it's like, Oh my gosh, this
is so good. And then before I know it, I
could eat the entire bag and then I feel like crap.
Or I can, you know, I've, I've worked really hard to get to
this point where I'm triggered and I go to the food and I'm
able to actually stop and ask myself, it's like, OK, wait a
minute, is this really what you want?
So when we can get curious about the thoughts and not attached to
them, that's where magic happens and then we start to live a much
more conscious life. But I know, I know also my I
know that. You know again I have I have
ADHD like I I'm, I I love to feel.
I love. I like big feelings.
I mean I feel it all I can. I can light up a room and I can
suck it out and it's like and that's the way I've lived my
life kind of in extremes from an emotional perspective.
And so how do I regulate my own emotions?
Cold water therapy has been life changing for me for that
standpoint, and it helps me control it.
And so anyone that has, they feel like has an addiction.
It's one of the greatest modalities.
When I feel like I'm trying to detox off something that I feel
like I'm in excess with, I will go to coal plants and there's
days where I'll literally get in at four or five times a day.
Fuck. Oh wow, that's so, but.
It but it's the detox. But I'm able to detox off
something so much quicker. But what I love away you just
said there because it gives the cold plunge a purpose to not to
make fun of anybody else. But I always look at these guys
that like, they're dickheads. And they're they're just like,
hey, let me show you why I'm doing this, just to do it like,
oh, it's cold, it's hard, it's tough, but you're turning it.
I mean, you said it cold water therapy.
Because it really has. It's taking what's naturally
inside you to be able to get you what you need in order to
continue to thrive. Because you can't just stop the
dopamine after you've been years and years of what food was doing
for you, giving you that dopamine, and now you've got to
replace it with something else. It's not necessarily golden cold
Turkey. It's finding an alternative that
keeps you healthy both in mind and body.
Exactly, Exactly. So to me, it's like there's
plenty of physical benefits. It's an emotional thing.
To me, It's it's it truly is therapy and I don't like getting
into it. There's morning, there's
mornings where I have to talk myself into actually most of
them. And there's sometimes where
I'll, you know, I do a sauna session before and I go to get
in it. And there's been a couple
mornings where I'm like not, not happening.
And I'll walk back in and then I'm like, Nope.
And then you go back out and it's But there's something,
especially with men, right? We this, we want, we like men
like AI love a challenge, right? And I think the one of the best
ways that we can start our days is doing something quote, UN
quote hard, that's uncomfortable.
There's a sense of accomplishment.
I I mean, I believe the greatest, most attractive
quality that anyone can have, man or woman, is confidence.
Like it's sexy, It's it's magnetic.
And the number one way for us to be confident in our own skin is
to is to follow through on the commitments we make to
ourselves. It's to do things that we
wouldn't normally do. It's the it's it's stacking
evidence based off doing things, you know, either consistently,
either that are out of our comfort zone.
And when we're able to get through it and push through it,
it's like all of a sudden this additional, you know, shot of
adrenaline, this is shot and it and it then takes your natural
dopamine up to new levels. It's like, oh, I got this, I've
done this before. I can do this.
I can do hard right? Because again, our natural
tendency is to pull away from hard all.
No one wants to feel pain. No one wants to feel that.
But if you can get into a space, and this is where magic is to,
to allow yourself to just feel right, just sit in it for a
minute and let the universe move it.
And it's fascinating how fast you can move through things with
the with the flip of a switch when you're actually when you
actually pause versus turning to whatever substance, turning to
whatever activity, turning to whatever, right?
Sit in it versus having the reaction and just allow it to
sit in it. There's a guy falling.
So I mean, I love the stuff on social.
He's, he talks a lot about his own journey with porn addiction
for example. And you know, one of the things
he said is he's like people that are addicted to porn.
He goes it's, you know, guys are doing it, whatever.
And it's like, yeah, guys are, you know, quote, UN quote, more
horny than women. And I'd argue that's not
necessarily the case. We could have a whole
conversation around that. But but the truth is, like, porn
addiction is rooted in an unregulated nervous system.
So whether it's porn, it's like it, it's because it's the
dopamine that's getting hit and there's a pain or there's
something out of alignment or something and and we don't want
to deal with it or someone doesn't want to deal with it.
And so they turn to something else for temporary relief.
So it feels that dopamine, right?
It feels that lack. But it's fleeting, yeah.
And then it then creates the cycle of feeling well.
It's like you're eating one, or like anyone else who turns to a
substance or something for a numbing sensation, or like to
help cope. That's all it is, is finding
that. But if you can find a better way
to manage it and do healthier things like your cold plunges
and that. But it's great now, too, because
you've really faced that monster, which was the addiction
to food that you had stronger than anything else, where you
still tell me you're like, you know what, I can still have a
tasty treat. I just don't have the have the
whole bag. Yeah.
And there's times, Full disclosure, like I'm like
there'll be days like I'll say fuck it.
I'm going to have the bag, but it's like, but I don't.
The old version of me would be like, I would I used, I was the
guy that's like, I'll start on Monday, right.
So I hype myself up on Sunday, get all excited, but then I'm,
you know I'm eating a bunch on Sunday.
I'm like, I'm going to start Monday morning and then Monday
morning comes in, I go to the gym, I do whatever.
And then you know 1:00 I got a client meeting.
We end up going wherever and it's like, oh, I'll get a
cheeseburger and it's like, oh shoot, you know, and it's like
I'll start next Monday and throw the whole weekend.
I mean it's just it's it's it's ludicrous to think about.
It's it's almost, yeah, it's almost comical.
So now it's like, yeah, I I'm, I'm, I'm 90% of the time I'm
pretty strict and other times I'm not.
And I I'm if it fits into kind of my my goal and my macros that
I'm tracking, then I'll eat it. I don't.
I don't shame myself for it. If I eat something that isn't in
my best interest, I like, I acknowledge it.
It's like OK And then I have a conversation with myself, like
understanding why turn to whatever I did and then I get
right back on the bandwagon. So there's here's the thing when
when someone's trying to shift out of addiction or anything,
realize there's got to be grace. And this is part of self love is
like understanding. Like, hey, you know what?
If I've been doing something a certain way for however many
years, in my case 40 plus years, to to think that you're not,
someone's not gonna all of a sudden go back and slip into
something isn't isn't realistic. You're just setting yourself up
to be disappointed and to fail. So it's having grace for the
step backs and realize that it's like they're learning
opportunities. And when you can actually learn
to love the dark side, the light side, the shadow side of all of
us, and and learn to lurk with the duality of all of it, that's
where magic happens. Then it's full circle now today.
Burn up. Yeah, Burn up is what you're
doing. You came from the finance world.
You're very successful in that. And through this journey, I
mean, I just kind of see like things have had to happen in
your life for this to take place.
So this is your calling, yeah? Yeah.
So it is. So yeah, my, my, you know, I'm,
I'm, I'm a I'm a life coach. I'm AI, I'll say a
transformational coach for men. And I believe that, like, you
know, I believe that we can have anything and everything we want
in life if we're willing to do the work.
And we're again, as I said earlier, is we're willing to
face the man in the mirror. That's where it starts.
You know, everybody wants a quick fix, Everybody wants.
And I I don't believe anything in life that has real value,
that has real worth comes easy. I think you have to put the time
in and what seems really hard today, once you embody it and
start to do it over a continual basis, then becomes part of who
you are. Like, so for example, working
out in the gym when I was paying a coach years ago, thousands of
dollars literally to try to get me to an emotional state where I
could have my gym packed, you know, my gym bag ready to go at
7 AMI mean it's comical to think about today, but it's like the
gym's just part of who I am. It's like there are many
mornings I don't want to go. It's not like I'm like wake up
every morning excited to go. But it's like, no, it's like
it's become part of who I am because I've reprogrammed my new
baseline as it relates to physical fitness.
And working out is at such a level.
It's who I am as a person today. And so and I believe again, if
we're the catalyst for change. So for example in my marriage,
right, I can. It takes two to tango, period in
any relationship. So if there's discord in your
relationship, you are a common denominator in it and the
default, the easy thing for us is to be like, again, we're all
men here. It's like, well, she does this
and she does that. It's her fault.
It's this and it's like, what's your?
Role. Yeah, accountability, extreme
accountability. It's like, what's my role in
this? Right.
So, like, for example, when I was married, you know, men are
pretty easy. It's like, mostly right.
You know, we want words of affirmation.
We want us to be told we're the man, right?
And we want intimacy, you know? And those were two core things
we're missing in my marriage. And of course I wanted to point
a finger. I was blaming my weight and
blaming all these things. But the reality was, for me
taking radical ownership, I wasn't a safe space for my wife.
I wasn't providing emotional support for her so she could
lean into her feminine and feel soft.
And for me to be in my strong masculine, and then to have the
polarity of us come together, that was missing.
Yeah, I remember. I remember you were telling me
that story where you know, you you you had this estate, right?
I mean, you can't call it a home at that point.
It was a huge estate, and you're like, I've done all this and she
says. I'd rather live like in a
two-bedroom apartment. She did.
Yeah, she did. Yeah.
I mean we had this monstrosity of a home, this big estate, you
know, and working my ass off. And of course I tied my worth to
money. So I'm giving all this.
I'm doing all this. And I'm like, and I remember I
looked at her, we're out in the yard and I'm like in this long
driveway gated, you know, house. And she's like, I go, do you
realize how I've worked my ass off for this?
I'm like, and do you know what I do for you again, Right.
I'm making it about look, I'm showing up And then she looked
at me and she was, I wish we lived in a studio.
Apt. I don't want this.
And the truth is she it's it's not that she didn't appreciate
it but what she was longing for was just like this emotional
support like she was she was struggling and didn't know what
to do with the disconnection as much as I did, right.
We only, we both had our way of doing it.
But men get so caught up and so many guys like I make the money.
I do this, I do this. And so I should be able to come
home and my wife should have sex with me and all this stuff and
it's like, but yeah, but you're not there emotionally for her,
you know, and. There's no connection.
It's just a checklist of, hey, I'd provide these things, you
provide these things, and it's not building that relationship.
Men and women are wired very different that way.
And the truth is like, you know, you're joking earlier about as
far as like who's horny or who's not.
I'm telling you, like when you show up in that, when a man
shows up in that masculine strong place and can, can
provide a safe place for his, for his partner, for his person.
Oh you you you think a man's like turned on, wait till you
see a woman feel lean into that and it's night and day.
And so again it's the polarity of that when you can show into
that and women are craving that and there are so many married
men that don't get it that they their their emphasis just like I
was there. Their emphasis was on other
stuff, their to money, to fame, to to, you know, all these other
things. I'm coaching my kids sports.
I'm doing all these things. I'm checking on these boxes, I'm
taking the garbage out, I'm cleaning the house, I'm doing
all these things. But it's like, yeah, that's
great and you're not there emotionally for your wife.
She doesn't feel safe. 'Cause it's growing up, that's
what it is to be a man. It's not the emotional side.
It's never been the emotional side.
It's always been like for me, I always have compared myself to
where am I at in stage, my dad? How much money have I made in
comparison to where my dad was at at his age?
What was my house at in? Comparison.
And it doesn't fucking matter. And of course I always fall
behind in comparison. We're not even the same peer,
like same person. Yeah, but that's relative
different. Lives, yeah, whole different
lives. But it's something that like,
ingrained. We have this stupid competition
or something, but we lose this emotional side, dude.
This this revised after we hung out with Adam and we left and
and a big take away that Brandon had was your car, right?
You have. You have a cool car.
It has a. Beautiful car, but it was my
relationship with money his. Relationship with money, right.
And it's something that like when I coach, I'm I I coach on
on more of the performance side. And a lot of times when I talk
to like sales reps it's they have an unhealthy relationship
with money, very unhealthy relationship with money where
they value it, Where you were at at one time, where it was
everything to you. That's what your identity my.
My my worth was tied to. It.
Yeah, absolute. But now it's not.
And there's this. You have this car out there.
What What Car do you have? It's.
A BMW? It's an M8.
M8 OK, so. 6 figure car. Right, It's it's a it's a
gorgeous car, and Brandon sees it just parked in the driveway
and he's like. And it's snowing outside.
He's like I already parked. His baby outside and we came in
and you said that to him. You're like, Oh yeah, you know,
I just moved. In the garage.
Like like he didn't he he And it changed his perception.
'Cause I we were talking the next day or on the way home.
Or something. And I realized, and I was like,
you know, 'cause we were talking about it.
And I was like, it's it's interesting because I was
sitting there thinking about it and I'm like, he didn't even
second guess. I was like, yeah, I got shit in
the garage. And I'm like, because to me,
where I've been at in my life, my stages of things, I've looked
at it and gone. I've highly valued cars, my
motorcycles, anything like that that I've had.
Because to me it was like, Oh my gosh, look what I've got.
It's it's this BMW, it's this Audi, it's this Escalade.
It's like, Oh my God, look at this label, this brand on it.
And then I realized it's just a fucking car To you.
It's probably just a car. It's not your baby.
It's a way to get around. At the end of the day, it is
nothing more than just like having a camera.
Well, we we again, we attire identity to this stuff, right?
Yeah. So it's interesting and I think
this is really important 'cause we're talking about, you know,
again talking about money and business, I'm going to bring it
back. And also, you know, this is
where plant medicine's been really big for me, right.
So I had the opportunity to which I'm a huge advocate with
ayahuasca. So I, you know three years ago,
3 plus years ago went down to Costa Rica and you know was
there for a week and you know, hadn't, you know, had done a
couple things prior to that. But this was like my real and I
ayahuasca for me is my the favorite.
I I feel that I I feel more in tune with the divine and and
with myself than any other medicine.
And they say that they they call ayahuasca the grandmother.
It's a feminine energy. So it's like this loving energy
that will check your ass when you need to be checked.
Yeah, just like a badass grandma, Yeah.
So it's just like you just get you just get you get checked and
again right we tell ourselves stories and and again it I think
the real key thing is when you look at all these things I I
really want to want to really hone in on this It it really is
a medicine. It is a medicine and it will
give you insight and we'll show you things that you didn't even
know existed. It'll change the stories and
again we still need to choose to lean into it if you lean into it
right. So anyway, so it's like when I'm
in there, I experienced in Costa Rica losing everything,
everything. So this is three years ago.
So I had just purchased a houseboat and you know, and when
you're in ayahuasca, like for me, people that have all these
different experiences, but for me, I'm, I'm either visually
seeing something or I'm hearing something.
But it's it's happening. It's your you, you are living
the experience, right. So I'm on the, you know I'm on
the Marina. I'm giving the keys back and
I'm. And so I'm going through this
whole experience with the entire night.
I mean, this is going on for several hours And so I
experienced losing everything that I had from houseboats to
real estate to. You know, toys to my house, to
my business, to my office building, my, my relationship at
the time. And so my girlfriend, I, I
experienced losing all of it. And it just kept stripping it
away. And I'm just like, Oh my gosh,
it in the night became more and more and more uncomfortable.
And I'm just like not knowing what to do with it.
And then it shows my kids. So I see my kids in this
experience and I just start sobbing, uncontrollable crying,
and I'm like, don't take my kids because again, when you're in
it, it's happening. And it was this beautiful
message that came back and it's like, Adam, you're not going to
lose your kids. And the message was so clear at
the time. It's like, Adam, you are not
your business. You are not your relationship.
You are not your stuff. And again, remember, I had tied
so much of my identity to things outside of me.
My worth was tied to the mansion, to all the other stuff
and all the things. And it's like the the message
was so clear and I believe this truly was a message from God.
And telling myself to say, Adam, you are whole.
Those things don't make you who you are and men especially in
the business world ties so much of their identity and their
worth to that, so much to that. So Fast forward three years.
I had you know my investment business had a, you know an 8
figure business Inc 5000 company that I actually ended up losing.
You know had some things of the SEC and issues that came in with
our with our firm and I signed off.
I mean there's lots of there's there's a lot to it.
But at the end of the day I signed off on it.
So I'm accountable for it. And what was fascinating is just
this last year as I was kind of sitting in it, I, you know, I
had hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal
fees and trying to pull all this stuff together.
And I had to sell all my things in order to get through it all.
And looking back on it, the order in which I sold everything
was in the exact same order that I saw presented to me three
years. Before.
The exact same order and again. Was it as hard in real life as
it was in the experience? Oh.
Yeah, painful. But you were almost like, I
mean, was it coming back to you during those moments?
I. Didn't realize it?
No. I didn't even realize that I
didn't. So again, I I I didn't.
And this isn't always the case. I didn't realize that what I'd
seen was actually going to come to fruition.
That's crazy. Right.
But the message that I received in and the message I received
today and the message that I teach is our worth.
Our worth is not tied to the stuff.
Our worth is not tied to success and fame.
What defines us is, are not the awards, the money, the
accolades, but it's the challenges we're faced with and
how we overcome them. What defines us is our ability
to be able to lean into that, to accept our shortfalls.
And I think the biggest differentiator between what
anyone would call success or or someone they want to emulate is
those people. Everybody fails.
Everybody has shortcomings. Everybody has insecurities.
Even when you think people don't, they have them.
If they don't talk about them, they're lying.
Everybody has them, and those that really succeed are able to
when they fall. When they fail, they're able to
use it as fuel and take them to the next level and take them to
the next level. So I've experienced
transformation and pain in every aspect of my life, from losing a
business to relationships to body to mindset.
I have experienced the highs of highs and all of it and the lows
of lows, even to the point where I almost took my life over this
and it was a ayahuasca was one of the main reasons.
I actually I I didn't because of some of the messages that I
received during that time. It's been a medicine and it's
been a gift of God for me. And more importantly it's been a
gift of for me to come back to myself and detach myself from
stuff, to detach my worth from that.
Because of course it'd be easy for me to be like, you know, I
was making all this money but I was in such a low point.
Literally there was a part of me.
It's like I'm just going to go look at a call center and go
live in this two-bedroom town home.
Right. And no judgement about anyone
there. But it's like I'm like that's
but at the same time that's not who I am.
Right. But I was in such a low point
that it's like myself worth. It's like who am I, right and so
and again the the in as extreme as it's been and as painful as
it's been and it still is. I mean it's a daily practice for
me as I slowly move out of this. But like my why my purpose today
is to say, look I'm living proof that you can lose everything,
whatever that is to you, yet you can still have everything you
still want. It's not permanent.
It's temporary. It's not a fail.
It's a lesson. It's not a failure.
It's a lesson. Like my divorce.
I again, I said I wouldn't wish on the worst, my worst enemy.
It's one of the greatest things that I ever went through.
Not in the moment, not in the moment.
So I'm a. 100%. So I'm of the belief today that
every, every challenge that we're faced with is a gift from
God. If we choose, we're always in
choice. And we all know people in our
lives that are victims, that are martyrs, that are stuck in the
shit and just like keep telling the sad story.
And they they're they're not where they want to be in life.
But the truth of the matter is they're choosing it because it's
easier to be a victim, it's easier to be a martyr, it's
easier to point a finger at somebody else.
It is very, very challenging to look yourself in the mirror and
actually say, you know what, this is on me and I need to own
this. You know I finally after
everything went public with what happened with my firm.
You know, I was I was spinning so worried about everybody
thought about and I finally went on social media and I'm like I
need to share my story. I need to be accountable.
And I anticipated you know getting reamed and getting
ripped to pieces and it was the complete opposite.
Hundreds and hundreds of messages right.
Of love and compassion And the most surprising thing with it
and I'm sobbing as I'm as I'm reading these is men reaching
out and saying Adam you saved my life today.
Thank you for being brave. Thank you for taking
accountability. You know, cuz I was talked about
being suicidal. I've talked about all these
things and men suffer in silence.
Often. Right.
We don't feel safe. Again, vulnerability and it's
like what I truly believe is like that we can have everything
we want, but it's going to take us facing ourselves.
It's going to be facing the stories, it's going to be facing
the challenges, right? You have to get used to being
uncomfortable. Yeah, and there's and there's
tons of modalities to be able to do that.
There's not one. What worked for me might not
necessarily work for other people.
I've just walked the path. So I think one of my not think I
know one of my unique offerings with men is like whatever story
you're telling yourself you feel like you're alone.
Trust me you're not alone. I know the pain right.
And and here's the truth is like we want to avoid the flames.
We want to avoid the fire. The reality is sometimes we have
to get in it it nothing will shift or change until we get
uncomfortable, until we step into the fire and then use it as
fuel. So burn up my company.
The whole idea is like, actually when things are burning, we're
actually, we have the ability to level up, to take our life to
another level, burn up, right. And again, my tagline's
freedom's in the fire. Everything we want's on the
other side of pain and fear, everything.
And I I just, I wholeheartedly believe that.
And so again, coaching with men, it's really, you know, it's
being reflection, it's meeting them where they're at and and
connecting them with them, 'cause I can connect with them
and their pain, I know it. But like, what's where do we
want to go where? And let's do what's necessary.
And again, one of the big catalysts for me has been
ayahuasca, right? And has been plant medicine and
and done in the right setting it can be life changing, but it
requires the integration, it requires the coaching
afterwards, it requires the intentions before and after.
I mean, it's not just, hey, I'm just going to go have one trip
and I'm done and my life's better, right?
That. 'D be cool.
Yeah, I know, right? Again, we all want the easy
pill. We all want the easy fix.
But that's not how it works. Yeah, it's not lasting too.
Like, it's talking about, like I was talking about this with
somebody yesterday. Like if if your kid earns
something right, like Dom Dom's such a your son's awesome, he is
such a good kid. You did so well.
Both of you and your wife did amazing with that one and and
all of them, I mean all of your boys, dude, they're stand up
boys. But you know Dom just really, he
gets it. He really gets it right now at
his age. And it's it's been a lot through
your examples over there, 'cause you weren't there for your kids
all the time. No, I wasn't.
I wasn't. I checked out.
Checked out. I mean, it was again UN, you
know, lack of self love, self respect, unhealthy marriage,
miserable, depressed. So I was there with my kids
physically and, you know, but emotionally and mentally checked
out, totally checked out. And it's been a lot of work to
get to, you know, to kind of work through that.
And and one of the biggest catalyst work again is was
acknowledging it, owning it. I mean, I might, I've been very
transparent with my kids. I'm like, listen, I'm so sorry
for where I've been and that's where I'm at.
You know, that's not who I'm at today.
And, you know, and I've had multiple experiences where I've
apologized for things. And, you know, you mentioned
Dominic. You know, there was one moment
where he looked at me. He's like, but Dad, that's not
who you are today. Yeah, that's cool.
You know, And so again, I was the catalyst for change.
I think that's, I mean, if there's anything that anyone
gets out of this today is it's like, if you want a change in
your life, if you want something different, you are the catalyst.
You're the lottery ticket, right?
If you're financially struggling, like you know going
to buy lottery tickets and helping on a prior, you're not
going to, that's not going to happen.
Yeah, Hope's not a strategy. Yeah, it's not.
But you can be your own lottery ticket.
But you're going to need to get, you know, uncomfortable AF and
you need to do something different.
But the only way anything will change is if you get out of your
comfort zone and do something different otherwise.
I mean, isn't that the definition of insanity?
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different
results. Yeah, and that's why.
You know with with what you're doing with men and coaching and
and I know truly deep down like I I love that you.
It's not that you're like, oh, this is just something cool to
do. Like Ayahuasca is a medicine for
you that is to be taken with that respect.
And you have really just knowing the experience that you had in
Costa Rica, knowing how impactful it was for you.
Not to say that if somebody's doing this in their garage that
they're not going to have a great experience, but truly
being connected where you have these breakthroughs, I get this
feeling that you you really need to do it down there to really
experience the medicine the way it's intended.
Yeah, I mean, again, right. There's there's like anything,
there's abuse, there's plant medicine, there's medicine.
I mean almost every, you know, whether it's psilocybin, whether
it's LSD, whether it's MDMAI mean all these different things
that are out there. I mean those those they can be
used in a medicine setting, right, for healing.
They can also be used as a party drug, which a lot of people do
both, right. Ayahuasca is not one you're
going to do in your base. I mean that it is like people
are like it's like a shamanic. It's very it's very, very, very,
very, yeah. Sacred.
It's the word. It's a great word.
That's the word. And so there's there's a
holiness to it. There's a sacredness to it.
It's not something you just take and you go out and party on.
It is. It is by no means that and it
and let me be really clear, it is work.
I mean, Oh yeah. It is not like you're facing
yourself. You are facing the demons.
You are. It's not smoking a.
Bowl no it's not you know it's not like but but the but again
but the freedom that comes after having experienced that and you
mentioned the Costa Rica you know you know I again I'm so
passionate about this. I actually have a retreat that
burn up that we're sponsoring in Costa Rica coming up here in
April. It's for only 20 people and I've
assembled this incredible team of shamanic leaders, have years
and years of experience and facilitators and integrators and
coaches and the music. Extremely important.
I mean, so much intentions gone into this.
We've got an 18,000 square foot mansion that's there, right?
You know, 5 minutes from the beach it it'll be an incredible
week of healing. It'll be an incredible week of
self reflection, of connection, of community, and it's only for
20 people and we're already, you know, I anticipate that it's
going to feel up here sooner than later.
Yeah, Ben is gone. Yeah.
How do they get in touch with you or how do people try and be
part of that experience? So you can so go to my website,
burnup.com and we'll. Have it in the.
Link, you know, just click on the retreats there, that's
there. You can follow me on social.
It's just Adam Nugent. So Nugent, you know I talk a lot
about it on there and and again plant medicine is a tool.
It has been life changing for me.
It's not for everybody, right? Cannabis.
I mean you guys are cannabis guys, right?
So cannabis can be an incredible tool and resource and medicine
for one person and it can be not for someone else.
Totally right. You You guys know this one?
Like any other one. So an intent like, like you
said, it is a very respected, sacred thing.
So it's there's a lot of intent and usage and we talk about that
often. Like, what is the intent that
you're going in with, with your experience?
Even with cannabis or ketamine or psilocybin or ayahuasca, you
know what is your intent behind the experience?
Yeah, yeah. And it's and it's one of the
most to me of all the things and I've I've, I've had an
opportunity to try different things and there's different
places for all of it. But for me, Ayahuasca for me has
been the greatest tool to connect me with the divine and
to bring me back home. It always brings me back home.
It always when I'm out of alignment, it checks me and it's
painful sometimes, right. And but yet it's almost as if
hey I've got God's like, I've got you, I've got you.
You know I've got to come in. Just want to share one quick
story. I've got, you know this first
time I went to Costa Rica, right.
I had a four nights of ayahuasca.
And so you're cracked open the analogy I give again this is
where integration's so important.
It's like take Jerry Bruckheimer.
He's the, you know, the one that produced parts of the Caribbean.
So the one, one of the ways I, you know, I explain Ayahuasca is
like, so you know, if I was Jerry that week, this is before
Pirates of the Caribbean came out the entire week.
I saw the whole movie before it even came out.
I saw the whole movie and it's like, Oh my gosh, it's going to
be the greatest blockbuster in the world.
But then once you get out of the medicine right, it see it so
clear, then you have to go hire the actors.
You got to raise the money. You got to do all the work
that's necessary. I mean, you can't just all of a
sudden produce a movie, right, This example, without doing all
the legwork and and all the time and effort that it takes to do
that. This I.
So that week I experienced the same thing.
I saw my life laid out, I saw what's possible.
I saw these things like truly, that's like this, this, this is
what's real and this is what can happen.
And I was tripping, 'cause it was not like on medicine, but
just I was triggered like I just got cracked open.
What do I do with this? Right?
This is brand new to me experiencing this and I was
going into a breath work session.
So one of the key things is we talked about different plant
medicines. You can get to this, you know,
psychedelic to state just even with your breath.
Oh yeah. I had my first breath experience
over your house. I mean, that was intense.
Crazy. Oh.
That was the one I met. Yeah, I was like I.
Didn't even want to go. And I was just like, fuck, I'll
go, I'll go. Just wanted to go and I wasn't
able to. 'Cause I I didn't.
I didn't realize the immenseness of that.
And it's exactly what you just. Stated you can get there with
your breath it's fascinating. So we go into this breath work
experience and again, right I'm I'm triggered not knowing what
to do with what I just saw. And as I dig into it deeper and
deeper, I all of a sudden and again, I'm not on any medicine.
I'm clear headed. I'm just using my breath.
I start to have this odd out of body experience.
So I'm actually floating above my body looking at myself there
laying and then I look up and God's there and God and comes up
and holds me and is like Adam. I always have you, but right now
you have you. Grabs me, turns me around and
puts me into my own arms, and I'm holding myself.
Trippy. I again it was the IT was the
most self love I've ever felt my entire life.
It was it was one of the IT. It might be the most impactful
moment I've ever had. In that moment, do you feel like
you? This is the only way I can
reference it. Do you feel like you had almost
like a Christ, like love for yourself?
That's a great, yeah, 100%. I felt like I, you know, I know
people love and care about me. I felt in that moment the love
for myself that other people have reflected back to me.
That's incredible. It but it.
But it was. Again, it was Breathwork's a
modality. It was a tool.
But it was again, it brought me back home.
And I believe life's happening for us, not to us.
And if you can look at life that way, it's like, what's there to
learn in this? What am I going to learn in
this? What am I, you know?
So again, I had a week of incredible insight.
And then again, going into that breathwork class, that whole
experience wouldn't have happened had I not been
triggered, had I not, you know? And again, it's like something
that was very uncomfortable. I didn't want to feel.
I almost didn't go to Breathwork, yet I leaned into
it. I stayed in it and had one of
the most profound moments, if not the profound moment in my
life, in that very moment, again bringing you back to home and my
whole intention. Like real home that you never
knew before. Not a love and A and a feeling
of it's I can't even put it into.
You can't describe it like I had that in my mirror.
Work after it because I felt like this weird Christ like love
of like seeing me as like anyone else and it it was just
heartbreaking but like at the same time overwhelming, like
just washing over you and it was like you instantly see this like
child. Yeah, you're right.
And I think I mean again, whatever God is for whoever's
listening man, woman, universe. Whatever is for you.
But there, I do believe that there's there, there's a
divinity that's there that has an infinite love for us.
And again, if I put myself in a Father, like a father role, if
it, you know, again in in the LDS faith in a lot of religions,
God's a man and you know and so but if we take that fault in a
father, like a heavenly Father, if we take that role as a
father, and I put myself in my shoes, I mean, I love my boys
more than anything. Yet I want my boys as much as I
want them to know how much I love them.
What I want them is to love them and to and to embrace themselves
and have the confidence and the strength and realize the answers
aren't outside of you boys. The answer is inside of you and
you're going to as you continue to work on you and look at the
man in the mirror, the man you're becoming and taking
radical accountability for your mistakes and working and doing
that. That's what I want.
Then that's where self love is built.
That's where confidence is built and that is my why.
That is my purpose with men as it's like listen if there's
something that's out of alignment, you're the problem.
You're also the solution and there's plenty of modalities
there's coaching, different things.
I'm just, I'm so passionate about this and I'm living proof.
I mean, again, I'm living this on a daily basis.
And again, it's just, I just feel so-called to this and I and
and and it's an honor to be able to share it.
I I want to, I want to help people not experience the pain
and the anguish that I went through.
Yeah. 'Cause it sucks.
Going through divorce and all the shit that you've gone
through sounds like it was hell. Yeah, living hell and yet again,
finding gratitude in all of it. Yeah.
So grateful for, you know, finding the good and everything.
Well, it's made you the man you are today, you know, and it's
it's looking back and if anyone circumstance changed, you
wouldn't be this person that you are today.
Yeah, and I'm not the man I was, you know, someone that's going
to hold you in my past or different things.
I'm not the same man I was six months ago.
Probably not the same man you were yesterday because you
learned from experiences that happened yesterday.
Yeah, and I'm just so I want to be my the best version of myself
and I want to help others do the same thing.
And again, in a coaching role, consulting role, mentor role,
whatever, it's like the the all it does is bring it back to you,
right. So if the best, the best coaches
in the world is like when when they can help their cut their
clients, right get to their own conclusion on stuff, it's just
by asking questions. And then it's again, it's being
able to connect with them and understand it.
So again, weight loss, financial, you know if we have
any financial limitations or we're not making the money we're
making, if it's our bodies not where we want, if our
relationships, all these things, the core of all of it is are the
feelings and emotions and the mindset that we have attached to
it. That's where the magic is, is
you can work through that. So if something's not working,
change your story, change your behavior.
It's pretty, I mean, again, pull the layers back.
It's the formula's pretty simple, but it's breaking
through all the stories and whether it's coaching, whether
it's plant medicine, for me, it's been a combination of both.
And when you really do that, and it's not easy, but I'll tell you
goddamnit, it's worth it. Yeah, I and.
And right now we need this more than anything.
How many people have talked about or tried to commit suicide
or thought about committing suicide?
Like how many people men regularly struggle with
depression and like self doubt and self worth and can't look at
that man in the mirror. Like truly can't look at that
man in the mirror. And so I think that's beautiful,
what you're doing because it brings that emotional sight.
It allows people to connect with that home that true inner you
and like, see your value, see your worth.
It's. Not easy to do and you need a
guide for that. So for those that are listening
up there, go to burnup.com. Check it out the we'll have the
links down there in the show. Everything will be in the show.
Also put some pictures over there, you could be able to see
it linked to his social. So start falling Adam.
Great guy. Yeah, Adam man.
Thanks for. Taking your time and coming down
here. Super passionate about this.
And yeah, and I think, again, I want it even for humanity, for
all of us. I mean, I just want us all to be
able to level up and and again, realize I said this, I'm going
to say it one more time. We're the we're the solution.
We're the answer. And again, that's why you hire a
coach, that's why you work with people, is to like help expedite
the process to be able to, you know, shortcut certain things.
But at the end of the day, it's like we can do anything and
everything we possibly want if we're willing to do the work and
take the steps necessary. And the key to it is facing
ourselves. Yeah, I.
Couldn't say any better. Sadly, I've noticed.
Was it recently, right after or before I had before this trip
with them that I had recently done, I think a microdose even
of psilocybin and there's been a big change in even day-to-day
things and things that I just noticed I wasn't putting in the
work. And it is.
It's facing that man in the mirror and like holding yourself
accountable because it can be so easy sometimes to fall into
what's familiar and what's comfortable.
Even if it's uncomfortable, it's still familiar.
Familiar. Yep.
Adam, thank you so much for
coming on, man. Yeah.
Thank you. It's an honor.
I love what you guys are doing. Appreciate it.
Take care everybody.