1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:04,360 I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse. 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:07,480 We're. Cannabis school having cannabis 3 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:09,400 infused conversations. With everyday. 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,120 People, Cannabis companies. Celebrities. 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,280 And your mom. Welcome to the Sash. 6 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:19,320 So Adam, thank you so much for being here, brother. 7 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:20,520 Thank you. It's an honor, Jesse. 8 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:21,640 Yeah. And to be here with you and 9 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:23,440 Brandon and. Yeah, it's an honor. 10 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,040 Yeah, we, you know the reason why we wanted to bring you on. 11 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:31,280 You have such an amazing story about where you came from, how 12 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:36,680 you grew up and ultimately what you've been guided to do now. 13 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,200 And I think it's super cool because being able to be 14 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:43,720 connected to people is such a strong, strong pull that we all 15 00:00:43,720 --> 00:00:45,800 have. But life tends to kind of like 16 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,920 just get us caught up in the day-to-day where we kind of 17 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:53,200 leave everything like ourselves, who we are kind of behind. 18 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,440 And I just have loved your journey. 19 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,240 That's why I like when we got together recently. 20 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,480 You know, for a very fun sesh that definitely shouldn't have 21 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:03,280 been recorded. But. 22 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,640 And we didn't. But you know. 23 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,320 We thought about it. We were actually thinking about 24 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:12,800 doing an episode until it was. Until we were there. 25 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,040 Psilocybin and Ketaminix. Yeah it was pretty it was pretty 26 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,800 intense. So but I I gotta tell you though 27 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:22,800 it's it's really cool that you know, I I just wanted to let you 28 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,200 tell people about who you are what you've done. 29 00:01:26,200 --> 00:01:31,240 So let's kind of start off like you were raised in in the Mormon 30 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:32,240 faith, right? In the LDS. 31 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,600 Yeah, raised LDS. Yep. 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:38,320 Raised here in Salt Lake. Yeah, oldest of four boys. 33 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,600 Pretty traditional middle class family. 34 00:01:41,320 --> 00:01:44,440 Growing up in the predominant religion, did you go on a 35 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:45,200 mission? Yeah, I did. 36 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,880 Went on a mission, went to Argentina, you know, had a great 37 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,040 experience there. And, yeah. 38 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,400 And again, right. We're raised this way as far as, 39 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,880 you know, beliefs and so forth and kind of just went through it 40 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,720 and did the motions and went through the motions and you 41 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,760 know, kind of did that whole thing and ended up getting 42 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,840 married when I was young. So I was 23 when I, you know, I 43 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,440 got married. And yeah, I was married for 17 44 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,479 years. I have four incredible sons that 45 00:02:08,479 --> 00:02:10,639 I'm so grateful for. Yeah, just amazing. 46 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,480 I love them. We've got such an incredible 47 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:15,400 relationship. And you know, I got, I actually 48 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,160 ended up getting divorced about six years ago. 49 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,120 And you know what started me down? 50 00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:25,200 This journey of self discovery self really kind of getting self 51 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,880 worth right. You know it's interesting I 52 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,480 think and I don't think I'm alone in this man. 53 00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:32,360 You know a lot of times men we as men like tie our identity to 54 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,560 other things. It's to success, it's to money. 55 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,760 It's to outside of us right as far as like what is our worth 56 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,840 like what are we truly worth. And you know I've, you know I've 57 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:45,000 battled many things in my life and you know one of the one of 58 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,880 the big things that I've battled for a lot of for majority of my 59 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,160 life was my weight, you know. So for most of my life, you 60 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,080 know, food was the drug, eating was the addiction. 61 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,680 And you know, I battled weight loss and weight gain my entire 62 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,680 life. And I could go on Oprah and talk 63 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,000 about, you know, literally, literally hundreds of pounds 64 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,560 over the years. You know, just back and forth 65 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,520 and back and forth. Just yo-yo. 66 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,600 I mean, I've done every fat diet. 67 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,640 I've done all of it right. And at the core of it, and I 68 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,680 think I truly believe this at the core of any, you know, 69 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,920 someone that's like overweight or in my case like morbidly 70 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:21,080 overweight or morbidly over, you know, morbidly obese is it's, 71 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,360 it's the inability to regulate emotions, right. 72 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,640 And so I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the tools. 73 00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:29,000 And so I turned to food, You know, food. 74 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,520 What if I was excited, I was eating. 75 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:34,120 If I was anxious, sad, whatever emotion I was feeling, food was 76 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:36,880 the go to, right. And it's this interesting cycle. 77 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,640 I mean addiction, right? So food's mine every. 78 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,240 I mean my belief is we're all addicted to something. 79 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,600 I don't, I don't care who you are, right? 80 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,920 So there's such so much emphasis on you know drugs and alcohol or 81 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,840 porn you know. But if there's sugar, there's 82 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,400 you could be addicted to drama, you could be addicted to social 83 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,520 media, you could be addicted to work, you could be addicted to 84 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,560 exercise. I mean we all have a modat. 85 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,480 We all have something that we go to and and the and our intention 86 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,120 is to actually self soothe. The addiction is rooted in self 87 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,040 soothing, right? So when we get anxious and we 88 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,680 feel something we it doesn't feel comfortable. 89 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,240 So what do we do to get rid of it? 90 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,200 Try and make ourselves feel better in whatever way we can. 91 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:15,440 Exactly. And we all have different 92 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:18,360 modalities and there's no again no judgement whatever someone 93 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,880 has. But when you get into a cycle of 94 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,560 turning to something that then and then then after it where the 95 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,600 you know you're getting a temporary relief but then 96 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,040 afterwards it creates pain, right? 97 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:33,080 It's probably not the best modality like to use or to lean 98 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,760 on. And so food was mine. 99 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,000 I mean, I just had the most. The cycle of it, the cycle of it 100 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,200 on and off was just, it was horrific for me and I didn't 101 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,280 know how to get out of it. Have you struggled with that 102 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:44,480 most of your life? Most of my life, yeah. 103 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,880 And it's just your recently, I mean I've lost, you know, I've 104 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,600 lost over 125 lbs. So I've you know, I I peaked out 105 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,000 close to £350. I've seen your pictures on 106 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,440 social and you're like a whole. Fucking different man There. 107 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,440 Yeah, you're like 1/3. Of the man who used to be it's 108 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,160 it's insane. Yeah, it's crazy. 109 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:00,440 So props to you. You look amazing. 110 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:02,040 Thank you. And I like what you said there, 111 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,720 like you were trapped in this prison of your body and your 112 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,640 mind, like you just couldn't escape, but you wanted to get 113 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,640 out. Well, my worth was tied to that. 114 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,840 Everything was tied to how I looked and so you know and again 115 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:17,040 the discord in my marriage when I was married was like IA lot of 116 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,320 it. I put on my weight right. 117 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,520 And how I you know move through the world. 118 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,680 I I we go to with my kids you know we go to water parks to do 119 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:25,800 stuff. I wouldn't participate. 120 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,480 I wouldn't be involved. I was too self-conscious. 121 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,600 I was embarrassed. Right. 122 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,720 And then I'd see dads. Dads that wear shirts in the 123 00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,320 pools. Let's I just want you guys all 124 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,600 to know if there's anyone listening that does. 125 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:35,960 It doesn't. You're not hiding anything in. 126 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,160 Fact. In fact, you're actually showing 127 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,400 more, right? And it's like, I don't want to 128 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:42,200 be that guy, you know? And so I just never felt 129 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:46,200 comfortable and it's such a, it's such a a sad feeling that 130 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,920 my entire worth was tied to that. 131 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,600 Right. And there's so much more to it 132 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,800 than just that. And so again, not knowing how to 133 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:56,120 regulate all these emotions and and not how to deal with all 134 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,520 this stuff that I I had a moment about, I don't know, about seven 135 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,200 years ago, give or take, where I kind of started down the self 136 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:03,760 discovery and I I had a moment, I was actually talking to my 137 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,880 father and I finally opened up a little bit about where I was in 138 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:08,080 my marriage. It just kind of opened. 139 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,720 I needed to talk about. I haven't talked about it with 140 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,640 anybody. Yeah. 141 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:15,400 And in the course of our conversation, I had this this 142 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:18,480 overwhelming feeling that it's like, Adam, you've got to work 143 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,280 on you. You got to make this about you. 144 00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,920 And again, at the time, it's like I'm pointing a finger at 145 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,280 everybody else. But the reality is it's like, 146 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:29,360 no, this is for you to decide. So I had a brother that had gone 147 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:33,200 through a divorce, and I didn't at that time like to open up and 148 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,360 share feelings or talk about anything or the idea of going to 149 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:36,360 therapy. I'm like, no way. 150 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,400 Like, I don't need that. But I finally was at a point 151 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,880 like, you know, what I'm doing is not working. 152 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,760 So if I want something to change, I have to change. 153 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,160 I mean that's the core thing of where I'm at today is like, we 154 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,800 are anything in our lives that is not working or is not in 155 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,160 alignment or we're unhappy with that. 156 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,440 We're not hitting our goals. We are the common denominator in 157 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,840 all of it. We are the problem and we are 158 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:58,240 also the solution to get ourselves out of it, right. 159 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,800 So I ended up calling a therapist and you know, got her 160 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,920 on the phone. She goes, why do you want to go 161 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,480 in? And and I quote, I go, I need to 162 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,920 figure my shit out. And that was the beginning of 163 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:11,400 my, you know, and I I think healing's a a lifelong process, 164 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,560 but it was the really the beginning for me to really start 165 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,400 to dig in and understand what makes me tick. 166 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,800 Why do I, you know why do I do what I do? 167 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,960 Why do I have all these limiting beliefs, this lack of self love, 168 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,040 this lack of self respect? Cause the truth is, is I was 169 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,440 gorging myself with food. It's it's a it's a There's a 170 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,320 lack of self respect with it. Yeah. 171 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,600 You've told me a lot of, I mean we've we've known each other 172 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,920 here now for almost a year. And you know I it's just going 173 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:39,360 back to all the stories that you shared with me. 174 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:44,360 You know, I I felt that that sadness in you like just being 175 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,280 trapped in it. And like when you talk about 176 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:50,040 that those pictures that you see on his Instagram where, you know 177 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,960 you see this massive transformation where now you've 178 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,920 built yourself where you truly treat your body as a temple. 179 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,920 Now, like you, you're like no, this is, this is. 180 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,600 I've worked very hard for this and you've stuck with it. 181 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,280 How long have you kept the weight off? 182 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,640 Yeah. And it's, it's still gradual 183 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:08,120 press. So I started this kind of weight 184 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,320 loss journey about five years ago and and to me, it's an 185 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,480 evolution, right. And I I used to always be the 186 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,880 guy that it's like, you know what's really popular today is 187 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,280 like 75 hard. Like I love it. 188 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,600 It's a great jump start. But almost everybody I know 189 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,600 that's done that or is doing it like they lose the weight in a 190 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,160 short period of time. Then they get to the end and 191 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,120 they go right back to where they were and in many cases even 192 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,280 more, even more so. Right. 193 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:31,400 And that was me that years ago there was the what's called the 194 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,720 HCG diet. So basically you'd you'd put 195 00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,000 these drops under your tongue, some people got a shot, and then 196 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,600 you only ate 500 calories a day. And I mean, I cross. 197 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,919 Brandon's. No bro, I would die. 198 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,320 I have such a high metabolism it gets insane. 199 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,680 But like there was a time where I'd lost 100 lbs. 200 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,280 So I'd lost 50 lbs the old school way. 201 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,600 And then I started doing the HCG diet and I lost 50 lbs literally 202 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,360 in like 2 1/2 months. Like, just came off. 203 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:01,320 But the minute I was done, I'm like, oh, I mean, I didn't 204 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,720 integrate. I didn't, like, start eating 205 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,800 health. I just kind of went right back 206 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,480 to your habits, 'cause I hadn't changed. 207 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,680 The habit, the. Habit and more importantly, like 208 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,440 the the limiting beliefs internally. 209 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:12,880 Behind it, yeah. So I think in order to, you 210 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,840 know, the our outward body, our our physical body is an outward 211 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,680 manifestation of what's going on in the inside at the end of the 212 00:09:19,680 --> 00:09:21,600 day. And so my weight loss became 213 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:25,800 permanent and I'll never go back because I've, I've been healing 214 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,720 the inside and as I've healed the inside, the weight's been 215 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,400 coming off and and continue to fall off and I'm just continuing 216 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,200 to reform my body. And it's it, I mean, it's 217 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:34,600 exciting. It's like, well, what else can I 218 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,760 do? What else can I do? 219 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:41,440 You know, and it's, it's understanding the emotional side 220 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:43,120 of it, you know, and the weight loss in the nutrition industry. 221 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,680 I mean, let's be honest, the formula to losing weight and 222 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,000 getting in shape is pretty simple. 223 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,320 It's calories in, calories out, exercise, build muscle. 224 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:54,200 And I mean oversimplifying it. What's not addressed is the 225 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,920 mental and the emotional attachment to it. 226 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:57,240 That's really what it comes down to. 227 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,160 So how do we overcome those aspects of it? 228 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:02,600 Man. What sparked that? 229 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,680 Was it your divorce? Was it plant medicine? 230 00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,040 What triggered that initial? Yeah. 231 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,360 So I I would say everything right for that perspective. 232 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,200 I think, you know, it's interesting. 233 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,400 You know, we all want to change. There's most of us have 234 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,840 something in our life that we don't like, right? 235 00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,680 But it's fascinating that it's like, yeah, I I desire, like for 236 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:21,920 example, when I was really overweight, I desired to be in 237 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:23,600 shape. I was really uncomfortable with 238 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,760 where I was. Because no one wants to be. 239 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,000 Yeah, but the truth is, I wasn't uncomfortable enough to make the 240 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,840 change. So it it in a weird way, I was. 241 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,640 There was comfort in the discomfort of where I was. 242 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,120 It was my norm. It was my baseline. 243 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:37,680 Yeah, familiar. Exactly. 244 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,160 There was a familiarity to it. Right. 245 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:43,840 And so, you know what, what transpired for me and I finally 246 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:46,520 had a breaking point that'll share is, you know, and you 247 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:48,640 know, plant medicine has been a big part of my life. 248 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,160 I'm a huge advocate for it in the right settings. 249 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,800 I mean like anything there can be abuse associated with it. 250 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:57,960 But it it truly is a tool if used correctly, that really 251 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,720 brings you back to you. I mean and so when I was 252 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:04,000 actually when I was married, you know, I was spinning, I didn't 253 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,880 know what to do. Our our marriage is falling 254 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,040 apart and and like back up to, you know, on the outside, it's 255 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,720 like I had a thriving business. I was making a ton of money, had 256 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,320 all the stuff right. Didn't have a lot growing up. 257 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,760 And so a lot of my worth went into my home and the toys and 258 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,000 all the things and all the trips and you know, all the money I 259 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,160 was making. So my worth was tied to that and 260 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,840 my identity was tied to my business. 261 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,080 But underneath it, right, I was dying inside. 262 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,000 I wasn't happy. I didn't feel good about myself 263 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:30,960 and you know, and not knowing what to do with. 264 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,680 And I finally got to a point when I got into therapy, I'm 265 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,920 like, this isn't working. What do we do right? 266 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,960 So I started. I didn't have a voice. 267 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,920 A lot of times I was, I'm a recovering people pleaser and I 268 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,680 I wouldn't express what I needed. 269 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:44,360 I mean, lots of things, just horrible communication. 270 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,720 And when two people get married, when you're 23, I mean. 271 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:48,920 You don't. Yeah, you don't know shit. 272 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:50,840 You know, I've joked with my kids, I'm like, you need to be 273 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,760 30 before you get married. You're gonna be disowned, right? 274 00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,640 But I just feel like, and again, there's so much grace in it, 275 00:11:57,640 --> 00:11:58,800 'cause we didn't know what we were doing. 276 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,240 Right Heights, 2020. Yeah, so towards the end, go to 277 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,280 therapy, doing stuff. We just kept hitting Roblox, 278 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,760 Roblox, Roadblox and a friend of mine had talked about started to 279 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,560 talk about plant medicine. I didn't know what this was, 280 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,520 right? But I was at a point like, I'm 281 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,240 willing to try anything, you know. 282 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,760 And so here I am still, you know, in the LDS faith and and 283 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,240 not understand, like right now I'm willing to do anything like 284 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,880 I need to figure this out. So I was introduced the first 285 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,640 time I was introduced to something called 5 Meo or 286 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:28,120 Bufo's, the other name for it. And you know, there's a shaman 287 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,960 that administers it when you're sitting there and she looks at 288 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,640 me and she goes, you're going to have 10 years of therapy in the 289 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:37,280 next 30 minutes. And I kid you not, I had 10 290 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:41,000 years of therapy in 30 minutes. It was the scariest, hardest 291 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,480 thing up to that point that I had ever felt in my entire life. 292 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:48,680 And and the way I explain it is, you know it in in five MEO, it's 293 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,040 DMT, right. So it's in the way it hits your 294 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,080 receptors, the way it hits your brain. 295 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,840 It's like the way I explain any kind of plant medicine as it 296 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:59,600 takes your, you know, we all have two parts of our, you know, 297 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:01,200 our consciousness, we have subconscious, We have the 298 00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:03,840 conscious side of it. You know, the subconscious is 299 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,840 designed to keep us safe. Most of what we do during life 300 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:10,040 is just like mindlessness and subconscious kind of taking 301 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,360 over. Like how many conscious 302 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,040 decisions are we making? Are we choosing every? 303 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,760 Day. Very minimal because we are 304 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,200 subconscious creatures. It'd be overwhelming if we had 305 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,120 to consciously make every decision. 306 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,960 So what plant medicine does and some of them medallions, which 307 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,680 we'll talk here about in a minute, specifically ayahuasca. 308 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,720 But with what? Basically for me, what it does 309 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,200 is it takes your conscious and your subconscious and the divine 310 00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,160 God, it puts everything in alignment and then it pulls away 311 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,040 the stories, right? We all have a story. 312 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,120 We all have a story. And the stories are based on 313 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,400 life experiences, based on programming, based off what we 314 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,600 were taught. And when you're in that space, 315 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:44,280 it peels it all back and it just speaks truth to you and to me. 316 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,480 What they ultimately do when used in the right setting is it 317 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,640 brings you back to you, who's your true self, what's true, and 318 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,400 it's really coming back to loving yourself. 319 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,400 So when I had this first experience, it's as if my heart, 320 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,080 the way I explained, as if as if my heart was encapsulated in six 321 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:03,680 inches of steel and then that one experience cracked open. 322 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,440 So in cracking open that steel, there was two things I felt. 323 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,000 One, I felt something had never felt before. 324 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,640 But the biggest thing that I'd felt was the lack of self love. 325 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:16,800 I didn't realize how much I hated myself, how much I loathed 326 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,640 myself, how low myself worth was. 327 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,840 It was so painful, so painful, so painful. 328 00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:26,880 This I didn't know what to do with it, you know? 329 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,480 And the other thing that happened with it is it slowed 330 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:32,200 everything down for me. So at the time, it's like, you 331 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,280 know, my wife at the time, we'd get in a fight and she'd say, 332 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,480 you said this and all these. And I'm like, I didn't say this. 333 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,800 I didn't. I was going crazy. 334 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,560 I didn't know what was real, what wasn't. 335 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:42,280 I was literally spinning. And after going through that, 336 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,840 it's like almost like life went on slow motion for me or at 337 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,480 least slowed down so I could decipher, like, Nope, this is 338 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,320 mine. Nope. 339 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,960 That is yours. You know? 340 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,560 And it was, I mean, again, it's truly a medicine in that space. 341 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,040 And so that kind of started, you know, in conjunction with that, 342 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,480 you know, we ultimately decided to get divorced. 343 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,720 And again, not I've started to exercise and started to, you 344 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,800 know, lose weight and do things but like, still not really 345 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:10,240 changing habits or behaviors. And I had moved out. 346 00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,440 I was in my new place, you know, still going through the divorce 347 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:15,280 process. And my ex-wife, she called me 348 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,880 and just ripped me. And I honestly don't remember 349 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,320 what it was about. But I went into a trance and I 350 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,240 didn't know what to do with it. I was so triggered. 351 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:26,640 I just started eating, so I'm just eating all this. 352 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,400 And to make things worse, it wasn't enough because it was 353 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,520 still so painful. The pain hadn't gone away yet. 354 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,440 Then I then door dashed even more food and I'm sitting there 355 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:39,120 alone, all right, My kids are with her and I gorge myself to 356 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,600 the point of just like, pain, uncomfort. 357 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:45,200 And I, in that moment, I broke down and I just started sobbing 358 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:49,720 and I said to myself, this does not work, it's time to change. 359 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,440 And that was the pivotal moment for me. 360 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:57,320 The pain of where I currently was was so intense was so bad, 361 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,640 but it exceeded the pain or the of what I knew what it would 362 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,840 take to get in shape that was stronger. 363 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,920 So the fear of the unknown, the fear of it, it pushed me into 364 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:08,200 that and it's like it's time to change. 365 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,800 I don't ever want to feel like this again. 366 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,760 And it was that kind of critical moment, that low moment, that 367 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:16,480 dark moment that put me on a projectile you know to to 368 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,600 getting in shape. But that that's the pivotal 369 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,040 moment for me that I remember most in as it relates to like 370 00:16:22,040 --> 00:16:26,560 literally my truly an addiction to food and managing my emotions 371 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:28,840 and the self love journey and it's like I needed to really 372 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,840 start down that path and that was a very pivotal moment. 373 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:33,520 As painful as that day was I'm so grateful for it. 374 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,520 I'm grateful you know for my boy's mom for my Co parent for 375 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,240 that and and I know she and I are in a great space today. 376 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:42,200 We are such we're good friends we Co parent well our kids are 377 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,480 better off. I mean that divorce, I wouldn't 378 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,160 wish divorce on my worst enemy. But for me, because we for both 379 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,000 of us, we both chose to choose love. 380 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,920 We both chose to kind of reflect it back to ourselves. 381 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:56,560 And everybody's been better off and and not everyone's the is 382 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,280 that case. I understand that. 383 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,960 But I believe every challenge that we're faced with is 384 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,319 actually a gift from God. It's their lessons to be learned 385 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:06,640 if we choose to that. But when you're in the thick of 386 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:09,079 it, When you're in the flames. It never feels that way. 387 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,000 Ever. But the more. 388 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,079 But I also believe, like, even in my own current flames and my 389 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:17,400 own current challenges today, it's like my perspective on them 390 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,000 has shifted. So I don't give it as much 391 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,359 energy. And I'm like, I know there's a 392 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,839 light at the end of this. I know there's a light actually 393 00:17:22,839 --> 00:17:25,119 to be found in it. You know, we talk about dark and 394 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,280 light. I believe that the light's 395 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,680 actually found in the dark, and it's when you face the dark is 396 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:34,160 where. That's both develops your true 397 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:37,520 character like you as a person. Because if life is always easy, 398 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:41,400 you never experience these like these really shitty experiences, 399 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,760 that dark, that lets the light come true. 400 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,200 Because otherwise you don't have that contrast, you have no idea. 401 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,520 And we just grow up as these happy beings, which I'm sure is 402 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:54,520 amazing, but it's these really pivotal moments in life that 403 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:59,000 really just shake you to your core that really make who you 404 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,320 are. Yeah, it's, I mean going into 405 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,240 exactly what Adam I mean he he convinced himself for many 406 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,320 years, even knowing the truth, that, you know, he didn't want 407 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,920 to be that guy. Yeah. 408 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:11,880 So he didn't want to be hurting. Here's a question. 409 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:16,160 When you said that first BUFO experience with five Meo, when 410 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:21,240 you had that and that sudden realization of that you didn't 411 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:24,640 have self love, that you had this loathing and that I've 412 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:28,160 experienced that on mirror work with a psilocybin experience. 413 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:33,040 Did you find after you came out of that, did you find that there 414 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,640 was a self love in there or like has it just taken time to 415 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,880 develop that over? So this, that's a great 416 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,720 question, 'cause I I'm, I'm grateful you're bringing this 417 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,680 up. So when you're in a plant 418 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,840 medicine experience whatever that happens to be right again, 419 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,360 as I said earlier, it's like you take the the subconscious, the 420 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,240 conscious and the divine. Everything in his alignment, 421 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,480 everything is super clear, right? 422 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,640 It is so clear. It's almost sometimes I'm 423 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,640 laughing my ass off because I of how complicated, how overweight, 424 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:01,600 how we over complicate things in our life. 425 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,080 It's really if you peel all the layers back it's pretty simple 426 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,200 stuff like the formula to success, the formula to this, 427 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,480 the formula to whatever we want. It's pretty simple right. 428 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:13,520 So the medicine shows you so it's a guide to me in in in so 429 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:17,120 many ways. Yet it's just it's an experience 430 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,000 that you're experiencing. You're seeing things, you're 431 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,160 seeing truth, you're seeing all these different things but then 432 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:26,600 the experience ends, right. So then again, like you quote UN 433 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:29,480 quote, wake up or you're there the next day you're still. 434 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,880 Then the stories come back, the limiting beliefs come back. 435 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,240 There's habits that were there before. 436 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,880 It's not like all of a sudden poor habits. 437 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,120 You still have to do. Work. 438 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,200 You still have to do work. Where you said before there 439 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,480 wasn't any love like my experience when I did mirror 440 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,040 work, I realized in looking in that mirror that I didn't. 441 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:48,440 I didn't love myself. I hadn't loved myself. 442 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:52,400 I had loathed myself and hated myself and judged myself in all 443 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:56,000 these ways that I didn't do to anyone else, that I loved in the 444 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,040 same way. And in that moment, I realized 445 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:02,800 that I should love myself. I should love myself the same 446 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:06,440 way that I love Jesse and my kids and my family like every 447 00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:09,320 one of these people. That I should love myself in 448 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,640 that. But I should. 449 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:12,800 That's The thing is like I should but I don't. 450 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,400 Yes, but I don't right? And it's. 451 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,280 And I haven't shown myself that love. 452 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,760 And it's and it's a slippery slope, because if we get into 453 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,000 the should of the should of that right, then there's all of a 454 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,000 sudden this additional layer of shame that it's like, I don't 455 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,960 love myself, I don't love myself, I don't love myself or 456 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,840 whatever, right? That's just realizing where you 457 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,280 are at. No for sure. 458 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,360 Yeah, but it's, I mean, that was a really hard thing to look at 459 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:35,360 and I'm sure with you because in that moment, it's looking at 460 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:40,240 this person, this being or this energy that you are and going, 461 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,280 hey, I haven't held myself to the same value that I've held 462 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,520 anyone else. Yeah, and so mirror work was. 463 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:49,400 So after that experience, you know, a very someone very close 464 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,240 to me. We were doing a coaching with a 465 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,520 gentleman at the time and it was around the power of words and it 466 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,200 included where mirror work and so everyday we were to write 467 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:01,360 down I am statements, 20 of them like so I am beautiful, I am 468 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,880 sexy, I'm whatever. Whatever things you needed to 469 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,640 say, write them all down. Like things you'd like to call 470 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,360 into your life for like how you'd really like to see 471 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,600 yourself and then go to the mirror and Sam. 472 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:13,840 So I wrote down the 20 things at the time and I went to the 473 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:15,640 mirror and I couldn't. This again, this is after that 474 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:16,960 experience. I couldn't even say it. 475 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,400 I couldn't look myself in the eyes, in the mirror, 'cause I 476 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,880 didn't believe it. I had 0 conviction to it. 477 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,000 And so we'd, you know, my accountability partner, we'd 478 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,360 come in, we'd start talking about it and she'd be like, I 479 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:30,080 did this, I did this and I and I sat and made excuses. 480 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:31,680 I'm like, oh, I've been busy. I haven't done this. 481 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,680 What I didn't have the strength to tell her at the time, which 482 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,240 I've told her since, is like I actually was. 483 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,320 I didn't. I didn't have the strength to do 484 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,760 it. It was too painful. 485 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,760 It felt like you were lying to yourself. 486 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,920 I can't. I can't say this to myself 487 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,520 because at that moment you're like, yeah, I'm just lying. 488 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,320 I don't. I don't feel this. 489 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,600 But what? But, but what the again, going 490 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,520 back to kind of the plant medicine, the catalyst to that, 491 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:59,200 if you will, is looking in the mirror and not having the 492 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,880 strength to do it. The old MO, the old Atom. 493 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:04,680 That version before that would have just stayed in it. 494 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:08,000 But it's like actually I don't like how this feels. 495 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,840 So what do I do about it? So I can sit and complain, I can 496 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:15,680 self love, I can continue to eat, or I can do something about 497 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,840 it. I can get actually uncomfortable 498 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,360 and get out of my comfort zone because I actually want to look 499 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:21,960 at myself and be proud of who I am. 500 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,000 I want to love the man in the mirror. 501 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,360 I mean the reality is, you know, it's man or woman. 502 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:31,200 The the hardest person we have ever faced, do face and will 503 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,320 face is ourselves. Period. 504 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,800 That will never end. Because it never goes away. 505 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,480 And so it's like, so to me. It's like it's the battle 506 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,080 within. It's like, how do I become my 507 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,000 best self? How do I, you know, the limiting 508 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800 beliefs inside of me? How do I, how do I silence that? 509 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,560 How do I acknowledge that side of me? 510 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,560 But then what do I do to continue to get better? 511 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,360 You know, self love. I think one of the greatest ways 512 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,440 we talk about self love and there's a lot of people in the, 513 00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,680 you know, in the spirituality space and like the self help 514 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,080 world, is this like, oh, you're perfect just the way you are. 515 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,000 You love yourself. You know, I think the best way 516 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,040 we love ourselves is continue to progress. 517 00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:07,520 Like I love myself so much, I'm willing to actually get out of 518 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,440 my comfort zone and do more. Yeah, you you do some pretty 519 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,400 hard shit every day. You you take a cold, you you do 520 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,440 the cold bath right and that shit's outside. 521 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:20,560 We're in Utah right now. It is fucking cold out. 522 00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,160 There something degrees or less you? 523 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,520 Gotta, I mean, what's the temperature of your your cold 524 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,120 bath? You know, I had a set of 39, but 525 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,000 then I watched a I've been following a lot of guys that are 526 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:30,960 really into this and they're like anything under 50 has the 527 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:31,960 same. Same. 528 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,400 Effect to it, the temperature of the water and so So I'm like, 529 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:36,960 you know what? So mine set up 45. 530 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,760 Good for you. I'm like, it's 5°. 531 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,360 I'm like, am I that tough much? I mean, I'm getting in it's. 532 00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:43,440 Still cold. It's still cold. 533 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,440 It's affecting you to benefit that 5° to go colder. 534 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,200 If you're getting most of that same benefits from that, do you 535 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:51,400 do that every day? I do, yeah. 536 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:53,880 Almost every day and and and what I loved about it, when we 537 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,520 were hanging out we had that sesh, right. 538 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,160 The session will never be recorded. 539 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:02,720 Yeah, but what was so cool is what you had said to to Bennett, 540 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,880 right? You you said every day I have to 541 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:09,840 talk myself into it. Yeah, I don't like it's not like 542 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,200 I get excited to do it. It's. 543 00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:13,920 Yeah, you're not a sicko. No, it's like, no, but here's 544 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,680 the, here's the thing And it's like, I think this is really 545 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,960 important because again, we're on the condom, you know, 546 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,320 cannabis, right? I mean, I'm an advocate for when 547 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,040 it's used the prop, you know, in the right settings. 548 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,960 I mean, there's some beautiful things you can do with it and 549 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,840 cannabis food, drugs, anything like there's there can be 550 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,680 excessiveness in it, right? Absolutely. 551 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,400 And that's for each person to determine themselves. 552 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,920 So for me, again, food when I get triggered, even today, 553 00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,200 right? I I'm in fairly good shape, 554 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,720 better shape than most people my age now. 555 00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:42,960 But still today if I get triggered, my first instinct is 556 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,560 I want to eat. And and if you take the science 557 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:47,760 to it, it's like it's the dopamine, it's the dopamine that 558 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,200 we're we're that our brain's searching for, right. 559 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:55,080 So, So a cold plunge to me is a way for me to get the dopamine 560 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:57,640 hit without the crash. Interesting. 561 00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:01,640 So it lasts longer. So again, I eat that sugar. 562 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,080 I I love Milano cookies. It's a joke with my boys, like, 563 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,560 so I I can eat a Milano cookie and it's like, Oh my gosh, this 564 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,000 is so good. And then before I know it, I 565 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,320 could eat the entire bag and then I feel like crap. 566 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,960 Or I can, you know, I've, I've worked really hard to get to 567 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,680 this point where I'm triggered and I go to the food and I'm 568 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,800 able to actually stop and ask myself, it's like, OK, wait a 569 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,760 minute, is this really what you want? 570 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,200 So when we can get curious about the thoughts and not attached to 571 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:27,280 them, that's where magic happens and then we start to live a much 572 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:30,960 more conscious life. But I know, I know also my I 573 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,920 know that. You know again I have I have 574 00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:38,040 ADHD like I I'm, I I love to feel. 575 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:39,240 I love. I like big feelings. 576 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,640 I mean I feel it all I can. I can light up a room and I can 577 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,080 suck it out and it's like and that's the way I've lived my 578 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:46,120 life kind of in extremes from an emotional perspective. 579 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,040 And so how do I regulate my own emotions? 580 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,960 Cold water therapy has been life changing for me for that 581 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,600 standpoint, and it helps me control it. 582 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,400 And so anyone that has, they feel like has an addiction. 583 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,520 It's one of the greatest modalities. 584 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,720 When I feel like I'm trying to detox off something that I feel 585 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,640 like I'm in excess with, I will go to coal plants and there's 586 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:04,760 days where I'll literally get in at four or five times a day. 587 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,280 Fuck. Oh wow, that's so, but. 588 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,520 It but it's the detox. But I'm able to detox off 589 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,720 something so much quicker. But what I love away you just 590 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,280 said there because it gives the cold plunge a purpose to not to 591 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,720 make fun of anybody else. But I always look at these guys 592 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,800 that like, they're dickheads. And they're they're just like, 593 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:24,240 hey, let me show you why I'm doing this, just to do it like, 594 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:27,360 oh, it's cold, it's hard, it's tough, but you're turning it. 595 00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:29,560 I mean, you said it cold water therapy. 596 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:33,440 Because it really has. It's taking what's naturally 597 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:36,520 inside you to be able to get you what you need in order to 598 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,800 continue to thrive. Because you can't just stop the 599 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:43,920 dopamine after you've been years and years of what food was doing 600 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,920 for you, giving you that dopamine, and now you've got to 601 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,200 replace it with something else. It's not necessarily golden cold 602 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:52,600 Turkey. It's finding an alternative that 603 00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:54,400 keeps you healthy both in mind and body. 604 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,440 Exactly, Exactly. So to me, it's like there's 605 00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:58,480 plenty of physical benefits. It's an emotional thing. 606 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:02,120 To me, It's it's it truly is therapy and I don't like getting 607 00:27:02,120 --> 00:27:03,600 into it. There's morning, there's 608 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,400 mornings where I have to talk myself into actually most of 609 00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:07,520 them. And there's sometimes where 610 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:10,040 I'll, you know, I do a sauna session before and I go to get 611 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:11,320 in it. And there's been a couple 612 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,120 mornings where I'm like not, not happening. 613 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,840 And I'll walk back in and then I'm like, Nope. 614 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:18,240 And then you go back out and it's But there's something, 615 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:22,640 especially with men, right? We this, we want, we like men 616 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,880 like AI love a challenge, right? And I think the one of the best 617 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:27,800 ways that we can start our days is doing something quote, UN 618 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,160 quote hard, that's uncomfortable. 619 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:31,200 There's a sense of accomplishment. 620 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,280 I I mean, I believe the greatest, most attractive 621 00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,240 quality that anyone can have, man or woman, is confidence. 622 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,080 Like it's sexy, It's it's magnetic. 623 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,840 And the number one way for us to be confident in our own skin is 624 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:47,000 to is to follow through on the commitments we make to 625 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,400 ourselves. It's to do things that we 626 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,480 wouldn't normally do. It's the it's it's stacking 627 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:57,640 evidence based off doing things, you know, either consistently, 628 00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,200 either that are out of our comfort zone. 629 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,480 And when we're able to get through it and push through it, 630 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,920 it's like all of a sudden this additional, you know, shot of 631 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,480 adrenaline, this is shot and it and it then takes your natural 632 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,920 dopamine up to new levels. It's like, oh, I got this, I've 633 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,040 done this before. I can do this. 634 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,560 I can do hard right? Because again, our natural 635 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:16,760 tendency is to pull away from hard all. 636 00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,720 No one wants to feel pain. No one wants to feel that. 637 00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:23,200 But if you can get into a space, and this is where magic is to, 638 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,320 to allow yourself to just feel right, just sit in it for a 639 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,800 minute and let the universe move it. 640 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,360 And it's fascinating how fast you can move through things with 641 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,240 the with the flip of a switch when you're actually when you 642 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:39,080 actually pause versus turning to whatever substance, turning to 643 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,280 whatever activity, turning to whatever, right? 644 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,880 Sit in it versus having the reaction and just allow it to 645 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:46,480 sit in it. There's a guy falling. 646 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:47,640 So I mean, I love the stuff on social. 647 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,280 He's, he talks a lot about his own journey with porn addiction 648 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,120 for example. And you know, one of the things 649 00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,960 he said is he's like people that are addicted to porn. 650 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,040 He goes it's, you know, guys are doing it, whatever. 651 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,960 And it's like, yeah, guys are, you know, quote, UN quote, more 652 00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:00,320 horny than women. And I'd argue that's not 653 00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:01,560 necessarily the case. We could have a whole 654 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:04,960 conversation around that. But but the truth is, like, porn 655 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,560 addiction is rooted in an unregulated nervous system. 656 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,320 So whether it's porn, it's like it, it's because it's the 657 00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,360 dopamine that's getting hit and there's a pain or there's 658 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,600 something out of alignment or something and and we don't want 659 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,240 to deal with it or someone doesn't want to deal with it. 660 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,120 And so they turn to something else for temporary relief. 661 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:23,760 So it feels that dopamine, right? 662 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:27,320 It feels that lack. But it's fleeting, yeah. 663 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,120 And then it then creates the cycle of feeling well. 664 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,640 It's like you're eating one, or like anyone else who turns to a 665 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,400 substance or something for a numbing sensation, or like to 666 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,880 help cope. That's all it is, is finding 667 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,920 that. But if you can find a better way 668 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,800 to manage it and do healthier things like your cold plunges 669 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,120 and that. But it's great now, too, because 670 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,840 you've really faced that monster, which was the addiction 671 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,760 to food that you had stronger than anything else, where you 672 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,800 still tell me you're like, you know what, I can still have a 673 00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,680 tasty treat. I just don't have the have the 674 00:29:57,680 --> 00:29:58,920 whole bag. Yeah. 675 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,080 And there's times, Full disclosure, like I'm like 676 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:02,560 there'll be days like I'll say fuck it. 677 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,440 I'm going to have the bag, but it's like, but I don't. 678 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,760 The old version of me would be like, I would I used, I was the 679 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,480 guy that's like, I'll start on Monday, right. 680 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,920 So I hype myself up on Sunday, get all excited, but then I'm, 681 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,240 you know I'm eating a bunch on Sunday. 682 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:18,400 I'm like, I'm going to start Monday morning and then Monday 683 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,360 morning comes in, I go to the gym, I do whatever. 684 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,200 And then you know 1:00 I got a client meeting. 685 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:23,840 We end up going wherever and it's like, oh, I'll get a 686 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,280 cheeseburger and it's like, oh shoot, you know, and it's like 687 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:29,400 I'll start next Monday and throw the whole weekend. 688 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,600 I mean it's just it's it's it's ludicrous to think about. 689 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,480 It's it's almost, yeah, it's almost comical. 690 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:38,000 So now it's like, yeah, I I'm, I'm, I'm 90% of the time I'm 691 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:39,400 pretty strict and other times I'm not. 692 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:43,040 And I I'm if it fits into kind of my my goal and my macros that 693 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,480 I'm tracking, then I'll eat it. I don't. 694 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:48,320 I don't shame myself for it. If I eat something that isn't in 695 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:51,400 my best interest, I like, I acknowledge it. 696 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:53,680 It's like OK And then I have a conversation with myself, like 697 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,040 understanding why turn to whatever I did and then I get 698 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,920 right back on the bandwagon. So there's here's the thing when 699 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,320 when someone's trying to shift out of addiction or anything, 700 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,200 realize there's got to be grace. And this is part of self love is 701 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,000 like understanding. Like, hey, you know what? 702 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,440 If I've been doing something a certain way for however many 703 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,720 years, in my case 40 plus years, to to think that you're not, 704 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,640 someone's not gonna all of a sudden go back and slip into 705 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,040 something isn't isn't realistic. You're just setting yourself up 706 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,920 to be disappointed and to fail. So it's having grace for the 707 00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,520 step backs and realize that it's like they're learning 708 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,080 opportunities. And when you can actually learn 709 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:30,520 to love the dark side, the light side, the shadow side of all of 710 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:33,720 us, and and learn to lurk with the duality of all of it, that's 711 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:38,160 where magic happens. Then it's full circle now today. 712 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,720 Burn up. Yeah, Burn up is what you're 713 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:44,640 doing. You came from the finance world. 714 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,880 You're very successful in that. And through this journey, I 715 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:51,760 mean, I just kind of see like things have had to happen in 716 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,200 your life for this to take place. 717 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,760 So this is your calling, yeah? Yeah. 718 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,760 So it is. So yeah, my, my, you know, I'm, 719 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,640 I'm, I'm a I'm a life coach. I'm AI, I'll say a 720 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:07,520 transformational coach for men. And I believe that, like, you 721 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,760 know, I believe that we can have anything and everything we want 722 00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:12,320 in life if we're willing to do the work. 723 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,200 And we're again, as I said earlier, is we're willing to 724 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,920 face the man in the mirror. That's where it starts. 725 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,760 You know, everybody wants a quick fix, Everybody wants. 726 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:24,600 And I I don't believe anything in life that has real value, 727 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:29,880 that has real worth comes easy. I think you have to put the time 728 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,280 in and what seems really hard today, once you embody it and 729 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,520 start to do it over a continual basis, then becomes part of who 730 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,640 you are. Like, so for example, working 731 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,320 out in the gym when I was paying a coach years ago, thousands of 732 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,560 dollars literally to try to get me to an emotional state where I 733 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,720 could have my gym packed, you know, my gym bag ready to go at 734 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:49,280 7 AMI mean it's comical to think about today, but it's like the 735 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,640 gym's just part of who I am. It's like there are many 736 00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:55,400 mornings I don't want to go. It's not like I'm like wake up 737 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,680 every morning excited to go. But it's like, no, it's like 738 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,240 it's become part of who I am because I've reprogrammed my new 739 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:02,160 baseline as it relates to physical fitness. 740 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:04,000 And working out is at such a level. 741 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:08,920 It's who I am as a person today. And so and I believe again, if 742 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,080 we're the catalyst for change. So for example in my marriage, 743 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,840 right, I can. It takes two to tango, period in 744 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,600 any relationship. So if there's discord in your 745 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,480 relationship, you are a common denominator in it and the 746 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:24,400 default, the easy thing for us is to be like, again, we're all 747 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:26,280 men here. It's like, well, she does this 748 00:33:26,280 --> 00:33:27,680 and she does that. It's her fault. 749 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,440 It's this and it's like, what's your? 750 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,800 Role. Yeah, accountability, extreme 751 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:35,360 accountability. It's like, what's my role in 752 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,280 this? Right. 753 00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:39,760 So, like, for example, when I was married, you know, men are 754 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,080 pretty easy. It's like, mostly right. 755 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,000 You know, we want words of affirmation. 756 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:45,360 We want us to be told we're the man, right? 757 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:49,160 And we want intimacy, you know? And those were two core things 758 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:50,840 we're missing in my marriage. And of course I wanted to point 759 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:51,960 a finger. I was blaming my weight and 760 00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,360 blaming all these things. But the reality was, for me 761 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,240 taking radical ownership, I wasn't a safe space for my wife. 762 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,760 I wasn't providing emotional support for her so she could 763 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,560 lean into her feminine and feel soft. 764 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,080 And for me to be in my strong masculine, and then to have the 765 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,440 polarity of us come together, that was missing. 766 00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:09,679 Yeah, I remember. I remember you were telling me 767 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:14,639 that story where you know, you you you had this estate, right? 768 00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:16,679 I mean, you can't call it a home at that point. 769 00:34:16,679 --> 00:34:19,880 It was a huge estate, and you're like, I've done all this and she 770 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:21,159 says. I'd rather live like in a 771 00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:22,719 two-bedroom apartment. She did. 772 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:23,440 Yeah, she did. Yeah. 773 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,840 I mean we had this monstrosity of a home, this big estate, you 774 00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,560 know, and working my ass off. And of course I tied my worth to 775 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,120 money. So I'm giving all this. 776 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:33,800 I'm doing all this. And I'm like, and I remember I 777 00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,800 looked at her, we're out in the yard and I'm like in this long 778 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,880 driveway gated, you know, house. And she's like, I go, do you 779 00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,880 realize how I've worked my ass off for this? 780 00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:43,560 I'm like, and do you know what I do for you again, Right. 781 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,440 I'm making it about look, I'm showing up And then she looked 782 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:47,000 at me and she was, I wish we lived in a studio. 783 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,760 Apt. I don't want this. 784 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:52,120 And the truth is she it's it's not that she didn't appreciate 785 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:56,159 it but what she was longing for was just like this emotional 786 00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:59,360 support like she was she was struggling and didn't know what 787 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,200 to do with the disconnection as much as I did, right. 788 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,040 We only, we both had our way of doing it. 789 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:07,920 But men get so caught up and so many guys like I make the money. 790 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,560 I do this, I do this. And so I should be able to come 791 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:11,400 home and my wife should have sex with me and all this stuff and 792 00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:13,440 it's like, but yeah, but you're not there emotionally for her, 793 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,480 you know, and. There's no connection. 794 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,960 It's just a checklist of, hey, I'd provide these things, you 795 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,000 provide these things, and it's not building that relationship. 796 00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:24,520 Men and women are wired very different that way. 797 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,040 And the truth is like, you know, you're joking earlier about as 798 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,920 far as like who's horny or who's not. 799 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,160 I'm telling you, like when you show up in that, when a man 800 00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,800 shows up in that masculine strong place and can, can 801 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,640 provide a safe place for his, for his partner, for his person. 802 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,800 Oh you you you think a man's like turned on, wait till you 803 00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,120 see a woman feel lean into that and it's night and day. 804 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,840 And so again it's the polarity of that when you can show into 805 00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,440 that and women are craving that and there are so many married 806 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,880 men that don't get it that they their their emphasis just like I 807 00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:53,640 was there. Their emphasis was on other 808 00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:58,440 stuff, their to money, to fame, to to, you know, all these other 809 00:35:58,440 --> 00:35:59,440 things. I'm coaching my kids sports. 810 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:00,880 I'm doing all these things. I'm checking on these boxes, I'm 811 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:02,240 taking the garbage out, I'm cleaning the house, I'm doing 812 00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:04,160 all these things. But it's like, yeah, that's 813 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,800 great and you're not there emotionally for your wife. 814 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,320 She doesn't feel safe. 'Cause it's growing up, that's 815 00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:12,080 what it is to be a man. It's not the emotional side. 816 00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,800 It's never been the emotional side. 817 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:18,120 It's always been like for me, I always have compared myself to 818 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:21,480 where am I at in stage, my dad? How much money have I made in 819 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,720 comparison to where my dad was at at his age? 820 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:25,720 What was my house at in? Comparison. 821 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,280 And it doesn't fucking matter. And of course I always fall 822 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,080 behind in comparison. We're not even the same peer, 823 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,320 like same person. Yeah, but that's relative 824 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:35,960 different. Lives, yeah, whole different 825 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,200 lives. But it's something that like, 826 00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:40,320 ingrained. We have this stupid competition 827 00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:43,160 or something, but we lose this emotional side, dude. 828 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:47,360 This this revised after we hung out with Adam and we left and 829 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,520 and a big take away that Brandon had was your car, right? 830 00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:52,920 You have. You have a cool car. 831 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,240 It has a. Beautiful car, but it was my 832 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,640 relationship with money his. Relationship with money, right. 833 00:36:57,640 --> 00:37:00,920 And it's something that like when I coach, I'm I I coach on 834 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,760 on more of the performance side. And a lot of times when I talk 835 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,040 to like sales reps it's they have an unhealthy relationship 836 00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:09,920 with money, very unhealthy relationship with money where 837 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:13,440 they value it, Where you were at at one time, where it was 838 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:15,920 everything to you. That's what your identity my. 839 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,920 My my worth was tied to. It. 840 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,880 Yeah, absolute. But now it's not. 841 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,280 And there's this. You have this car out there. 842 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:23,200 What What Car do you have? It's. 843 00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:24,520 A BMW? It's an M8. 844 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,680 M8 OK, so. 6 figure car. Right, It's it's a it's a 845 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,280 gorgeous car, and Brandon sees it just parked in the driveway 846 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,320 and he's like. And it's snowing outside. 847 00:37:33,360 --> 00:37:36,120 He's like I already parked. His baby outside and we came in 848 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,560 and you said that to him. You're like, Oh yeah, you know, 849 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,240 I just moved. In the garage. 850 00:37:40,240 --> 00:37:43,560 Like like he didn't he he And it changed his perception. 851 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,680 'Cause I we were talking the next day or on the way home. 852 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,760 Or something. And I realized, and I was like, 853 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:51,280 you know, 'cause we were talking about it. 854 00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,960 And I was like, it's it's interesting because I was 855 00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,840 sitting there thinking about it and I'm like, he didn't even 856 00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,120 second guess. I was like, yeah, I got shit in 857 00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:00,040 the garage. And I'm like, because to me, 858 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:03,080 where I've been at in my life, my stages of things, I've looked 859 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:06,320 at it and gone. I've highly valued cars, my 860 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,360 motorcycles, anything like that that I've had. 861 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,040 Because to me it was like, Oh my gosh, look what I've got. 862 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:14,120 It's it's this BMW, it's this Audi, it's this Escalade. 863 00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:18,520 It's like, Oh my God, look at this label, this brand on it. 864 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,680 And then I realized it's just a fucking car To you. 865 00:38:23,680 --> 00:38:26,080 It's probably just a car. It's not your baby. 866 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:29,560 It's a way to get around. At the end of the day, it is 867 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,240 nothing more than just like having a camera. 868 00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:34,720 Well, we we again, we attire identity to this stuff, right? 869 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:36,200 Yeah. So it's interesting and I think 870 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,680 this is really important 'cause we're talking about, you know, 871 00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:39,360 again talking about money and business, I'm going to bring it 872 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,560 back. And also, you know, this is 873 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,920 where plant medicine's been really big for me, right. 874 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:47,560 So I had the opportunity to which I'm a huge advocate with 875 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:50,440 ayahuasca. So I, you know three years ago, 876 00:38:50,800 --> 00:38:55,000 3 plus years ago went down to Costa Rica and you know was 877 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,000 there for a week and you know, hadn't, you know, had done a 878 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,800 couple things prior to that. But this was like my real and I 879 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:02,880 ayahuasca for me is my the favorite. 880 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:06,440 I I feel that I I feel more in tune with the divine and and 881 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:08,200 with myself than any other medicine. 882 00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,560 And they say that they they call ayahuasca the grandmother. 883 00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:13,720 It's a feminine energy. So it's like this loving energy 884 00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,160 that will check your ass when you need to be checked. 885 00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,920 Yeah, just like a badass grandma, Yeah. 886 00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:21,160 So it's just like you just get you just get you get checked and 887 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:25,280 again right we tell ourselves stories and and again it I think 888 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,240 the real key thing is when you look at all these things I I 889 00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:31,160 really want to want to really hone in on this It it really is 890 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,200 a medicine. It is a medicine and it will 891 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,400 give you insight and we'll show you things that you didn't even 892 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,400 know existed. It'll change the stories and 893 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,320 again we still need to choose to lean into it if you lean into it 894 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,560 right. So anyway, so it's like when I'm 895 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:49,400 in there, I experienced in Costa Rica losing everything, 896 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,360 everything. So this is three years ago. 897 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,200 So I had just purchased a houseboat and you know, and when 898 00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:57,240 you're in ayahuasca, like for me, people that have all these 899 00:39:57,240 --> 00:39:59,480 different experiences, but for me, I'm, I'm either visually 900 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:00,880 seeing something or I'm hearing something. 901 00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,240 But it's it's happening. It's your you, you are living 902 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:08,000 the experience, right. So I'm on the, you know I'm on 903 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,600 the Marina. I'm giving the keys back and 904 00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:10,480 I'm. And so I'm going through this 905 00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:11,600 whole experience with the entire night. 906 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,600 I mean, this is going on for several hours And so I 907 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:17,880 experienced losing everything that I had from houseboats to 908 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:21,960 real estate to. You know, toys to my house, to 909 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,880 my business, to my office building, my, my relationship at 910 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,160 the time. And so my girlfriend, I, I 911 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,560 experienced losing all of it. And it just kept stripping it 912 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,600 away. And I'm just like, Oh my gosh, 913 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:35,840 it in the night became more and more and more uncomfortable. 914 00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:38,320 And I'm just like not knowing what to do with it. 915 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,320 And then it shows my kids. So I see my kids in this 916 00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:45,120 experience and I just start sobbing, uncontrollable crying, 917 00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:47,760 and I'm like, don't take my kids because again, when you're in 918 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,880 it, it's happening. And it was this beautiful 919 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:51,720 message that came back and it's like, Adam, you're not going to 920 00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:54,880 lose your kids. And the message was so clear at 921 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,360 the time. It's like, Adam, you are not 922 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:58,080 your business. You are not your relationship. 923 00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,560 You are not your stuff. And again, remember, I had tied 924 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,840 so much of my identity to things outside of me. 925 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:07,400 My worth was tied to the mansion, to all the other stuff 926 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,960 and all the things. And it's like the the message 927 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,320 was so clear and I believe this truly was a message from God. 928 00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:13,960 And telling myself to say, Adam, you are whole. 929 00:41:14,280 --> 00:41:18,240 Those things don't make you who you are and men especially in 930 00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:20,320 the business world ties so much of their identity and their 931 00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:24,840 worth to that, so much to that. So Fast forward three years. 932 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:28,560 I had you know my investment business had a, you know an 8 933 00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,480 figure business Inc 5000 company that I actually ended up losing. 934 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,440 You know had some things of the SEC and issues that came in with 935 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,480 our with our firm and I signed off. 936 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,320 I mean there's lots of there's there's a lot to it. 937 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,160 But at the end of the day I signed off on it. 938 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,040 So I'm accountable for it. And what was fascinating is just 939 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,320 this last year as I was kind of sitting in it, I, you know, I 940 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,640 had hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal 941 00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,200 fees and trying to pull all this stuff together. 942 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:53,120 And I had to sell all my things in order to get through it all. 943 00:41:53,560 --> 00:41:57,960 And looking back on it, the order in which I sold everything 944 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,160 was in the exact same order that I saw presented to me three 945 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:01,840 years. Before. 946 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:08,080 The exact same order and again. Was it as hard in real life as 947 00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:09,280 it was in the experience? Oh. 948 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,640 Yeah, painful. But you were almost like, I 949 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,840 mean, was it coming back to you during those moments? 950 00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:14,480 I. Didn't realize it? 951 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:15,720 No. I didn't even realize that I 952 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:17,600 didn't. So again, I I I didn't. 953 00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:20,000 And this isn't always the case. I didn't realize that what I'd 954 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:21,680 seen was actually going to come to fruition. 955 00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:22,920 That's crazy. Right. 956 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,480 But the message that I received in and the message I received 957 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:28,720 today and the message that I teach is our worth. 958 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,040 Our worth is not tied to the stuff. 959 00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:34,200 Our worth is not tied to success and fame. 960 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,240 What defines us is, are not the awards, the money, the 961 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,320 accolades, but it's the challenges we're faced with and 962 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:44,960 how we overcome them. What defines us is our ability 963 00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:48,240 to be able to lean into that, to accept our shortfalls. 964 00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,520 And I think the biggest differentiator between what 965 00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:55,720 anyone would call success or or someone they want to emulate is 966 00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:57,720 those people. Everybody fails. 967 00:42:57,720 --> 00:43:00,200 Everybody has shortcomings. Everybody has insecurities. 968 00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,000 Even when you think people don't, they have them. 969 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:03,520 If they don't talk about them, they're lying. 970 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:08,400 Everybody has them, and those that really succeed are able to 971 00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,520 when they fall. When they fail, they're able to 972 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,760 use it as fuel and take them to the next level and take them to 973 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:15,360 the next level. So I've experienced 974 00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,960 transformation and pain in every aspect of my life, from losing a 975 00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:24,240 business to relationships to body to mindset. 976 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:27,040 I have experienced the highs of highs and all of it and the lows 977 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,000 of lows, even to the point where I almost took my life over this 978 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,280 and it was a ayahuasca was one of the main reasons. 979 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,440 I actually I I didn't because of some of the messages that I 980 00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,320 received during that time. It's been a medicine and it's 981 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,880 been a gift of God for me. And more importantly it's been a 982 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:45,840 gift of for me to come back to myself and detach myself from 983 00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:47,920 stuff, to detach my worth from that. 984 00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,600 Because of course it'd be easy for me to be like, you know, I 985 00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:53,520 was making all this money but I was in such a low point. 986 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:54,640 Literally there was a part of me. 987 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:56,560 It's like I'm just going to go look at a call center and go 988 00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:57,920 live in this two-bedroom town home. 989 00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,840 Right. And no judgement about anyone 990 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,920 there. But it's like I'm like that's 991 00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,440 but at the same time that's not who I am. 992 00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,280 Right. But I was in such a low point 993 00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:10,480 that it's like myself worth. It's like who am I, right and so 994 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:15,080 and again the the in as extreme as it's been and as painful as 995 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,080 it's been and it still is. I mean it's a daily practice for 996 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:20,680 me as I slowly move out of this. But like my why my purpose today 997 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,560 is to say, look I'm living proof that you can lose everything, 998 00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,560 whatever that is to you, yet you can still have everything you 999 00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:29,240 still want. It's not permanent. 1000 00:44:29,240 --> 00:44:31,880 It's temporary. It's not a fail. 1001 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,040 It's a lesson. It's not a failure. 1002 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:36,000 It's a lesson. Like my divorce. 1003 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,200 I again, I said I wouldn't wish on the worst, my worst enemy. 1004 00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:40,280 It's one of the greatest things that I ever went through. 1005 00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,080 Not in the moment, not in the moment. 1006 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,280 So I'm a. 100%. So I'm of the belief today that 1007 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:49,960 every, every challenge that we're faced with is a gift from 1008 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,560 God. If we choose, we're always in 1009 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,760 choice. And we all know people in our 1010 00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,880 lives that are victims, that are martyrs, that are stuck in the 1011 00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,160 shit and just like keep telling the sad story. 1012 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,320 And they they're they're not where they want to be in life. 1013 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:05,960 But the truth of the matter is they're choosing it because it's 1014 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:09,360 easier to be a victim, it's easier to be a martyr, it's 1015 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,000 easier to point a finger at somebody else. 1016 00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:15,760 It is very, very challenging to look yourself in the mirror and 1017 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:20,200 actually say, you know what, this is on me and I need to own 1018 00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:22,400 this. You know I finally after 1019 00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,560 everything went public with what happened with my firm. 1020 00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,880 You know, I was I was spinning so worried about everybody 1021 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:30,240 thought about and I finally went on social media and I'm like I 1022 00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:32,040 need to share my story. I need to be accountable. 1023 00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:35,800 And I anticipated you know getting reamed and getting 1024 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:37,880 ripped to pieces and it was the complete opposite. 1025 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,960 Hundreds and hundreds of messages right. 1026 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,280 Of love and compassion And the most surprising thing with it 1027 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:46,440 and I'm sobbing as I'm as I'm reading these is men reaching 1028 00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:48,120 out and saying Adam you saved my life today. 1029 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,680 Thank you for being brave. Thank you for taking 1030 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:52,840 accountability. You know, cuz I was talked about 1031 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,440 being suicidal. I've talked about all these 1032 00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,920 things and men suffer in silence. 1033 00:45:57,560 --> 00:45:58,960 Often. Right. 1034 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:01,640 We don't feel safe. Again, vulnerability and it's 1035 00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:06,760 like what I truly believe is like that we can have everything 1036 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:09,320 we want, but it's going to take us facing ourselves. 1037 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,600 It's going to be facing the stories, it's going to be facing 1038 00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,880 the challenges, right? You have to get used to being 1039 00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:15,680 uncomfortable. Yeah, and there's and there's 1040 00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:17,760 tons of modalities to be able to do that. 1041 00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:19,760 There's not one. What worked for me might not 1042 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,040 necessarily work for other people. 1043 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,760 I've just walked the path. So I think one of my not think I 1044 00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:28,800 know one of my unique offerings with men is like whatever story 1045 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:30,360 you're telling yourself you feel like you're alone. 1046 00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:32,600 Trust me you're not alone. I know the pain right. 1047 00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:35,960 And and here's the truth is like we want to avoid the flames. 1048 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,320 We want to avoid the fire. The reality is sometimes we have 1049 00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:42,440 to get in it it nothing will shift or change until we get 1050 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,080 uncomfortable, until we step into the fire and then use it as 1051 00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:47,200 fuel. So burn up my company. 1052 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:50,720 The whole idea is like, actually when things are burning, we're 1053 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:54,160 actually, we have the ability to level up, to take our life to 1054 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,880 another level, burn up, right. And again, my tagline's 1055 00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,800 freedom's in the fire. Everything we want's on the 1056 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,560 other side of pain and fear, everything. 1057 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,160 And I I just, I wholeheartedly believe that. 1058 00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:07,840 And so again, coaching with men, it's really, you know, it's 1059 00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:10,280 being reflection, it's meeting them where they're at and and 1060 00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:12,040 connecting them with them, 'cause I can connect with them 1061 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,760 and their pain, I know it. But like, what's where do we 1062 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,920 want to go where? And let's do what's necessary. 1063 00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,960 And again, one of the big catalysts for me has been 1064 00:47:20,040 --> 00:47:23,720 ayahuasca, right? And has been plant medicine and 1065 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,840 and done in the right setting it can be life changing, but it 1066 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,680 requires the integration, it requires the coaching 1067 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:32,600 afterwards, it requires the intentions before and after. 1068 00:47:32,600 --> 00:47:34,600 I mean, it's not just, hey, I'm just going to go have one trip 1069 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,040 and I'm done and my life's better, right? 1070 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:38,680 That. 'D be cool. 1071 00:47:38,720 --> 00:47:40,720 Yeah, I know, right? Again, we all want the easy 1072 00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:42,400 pill. We all want the easy fix. 1073 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,200 But that's not how it works. Yeah, it's not lasting too. 1074 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,840 Like, it's talking about, like I was talking about this with 1075 00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:50,720 somebody yesterday. Like if if your kid earns 1076 00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:54,960 something right, like Dom Dom's such a your son's awesome, he is 1077 00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,720 such a good kid. You did so well. 1078 00:47:56,720 --> 00:48:00,000 Both of you and your wife did amazing with that one and and 1079 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,320 all of them, I mean all of your boys, dude, they're stand up 1080 00:48:02,320 --> 00:48:07,120 boys. But you know Dom just really, he 1081 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,720 gets it. He really gets it right now at 1082 00:48:09,720 --> 00:48:13,480 his age. And it's it's been a lot through 1083 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:15,920 your examples over there, 'cause you weren't there for your kids 1084 00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:17,000 all the time. No, I wasn't. 1085 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:18,760 I wasn't. I checked out. 1086 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:23,160 Checked out. I mean, it was again UN, you 1087 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,160 know, lack of self love, self respect, unhealthy marriage, 1088 00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:31,320 miserable, depressed. So I was there with my kids 1089 00:48:31,320 --> 00:48:35,120 physically and, you know, but emotionally and mentally checked 1090 00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:38,040 out, totally checked out. And it's been a lot of work to 1091 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:39,600 get to, you know, to kind of work through that. 1092 00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,920 And and one of the biggest catalyst work again is was 1093 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,240 acknowledging it, owning it. I mean, I might, I've been very 1094 00:48:45,240 --> 00:48:47,440 transparent with my kids. I'm like, listen, I'm so sorry 1095 00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:48,920 for where I've been and that's where I'm at. 1096 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:50,360 You know, that's not who I'm at today. 1097 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,200 And, you know, and I've had multiple experiences where I've 1098 00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:55,040 apologized for things. And, you know, you mentioned 1099 00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:56,240 Dominic. You know, there was one moment 1100 00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:57,640 where he looked at me. He's like, but Dad, that's not 1101 00:48:57,640 --> 00:48:59,560 who you are today. Yeah, that's cool. 1102 00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,720 You know, And so again, I was the catalyst for change. 1103 00:49:02,720 --> 00:49:04,520 I think that's, I mean, if there's anything that anyone 1104 00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,840 gets out of this today is it's like, if you want a change in 1105 00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:11,240 your life, if you want something different, you are the catalyst. 1106 00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:12,840 You're the lottery ticket, right? 1107 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:16,120 If you're financially struggling, like you know going 1108 00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,360 to buy lottery tickets and helping on a prior, you're not 1109 00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:19,480 going to, that's not going to happen. 1110 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:21,000 Yeah, Hope's not a strategy. Yeah, it's not. 1111 00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,200 But you can be your own lottery ticket. 1112 00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,600 But you're going to need to get, you know, uncomfortable AF and 1113 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,200 you need to do something different. 1114 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,760 But the only way anything will change is if you get out of your 1115 00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:32,400 comfort zone and do something different otherwise. 1116 00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:34,000 I mean, isn't that the definition of insanity? 1117 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:35,920 Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different 1118 00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:37,640 results. Yeah, and that's why. 1119 00:49:37,640 --> 00:49:41,360 You know with with what you're doing with men and coaching and 1120 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,760 and I know truly deep down like I I love that you. 1121 00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,920 It's not that you're like, oh, this is just something cool to 1122 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,080 do. Like Ayahuasca is a medicine for 1123 00:49:50,080 --> 00:49:53,600 you that is to be taken with that respect. 1124 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:57,760 And you have really just knowing the experience that you had in 1125 00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:01,000 Costa Rica, knowing how impactful it was for you. 1126 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,440 Not to say that if somebody's doing this in their garage that 1127 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:06,360 they're not going to have a great experience, but truly 1128 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:10,360 being connected where you have these breakthroughs, I get this 1129 00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:13,560 feeling that you you really need to do it down there to really 1130 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:17,320 experience the medicine the way it's intended. 1131 00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,840 Yeah, I mean, again, right. There's there's like anything, 1132 00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:21,560 there's abuse, there's plant medicine, there's medicine. 1133 00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:25,000 I mean almost every, you know, whether it's psilocybin, whether 1134 00:50:25,000 --> 00:50:27,720 it's LSD, whether it's MDMAI mean all these different things 1135 00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:30,840 that are out there. I mean those those they can be 1136 00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:32,560 used in a medicine setting, right, for healing. 1137 00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,680 They can also be used as a party drug, which a lot of people do 1138 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,440 both, right. Ayahuasca is not one you're 1139 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,960 going to do in your base. I mean that it is like people 1140 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:43,120 are like it's like a shamanic. It's very it's very, very, very, 1141 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:45,960 very, yeah. Sacred. 1142 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:46,960 It's the word. It's a great word. 1143 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,120 That's the word. And so there's there's a 1144 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:50,680 holiness to it. There's a sacredness to it. 1145 00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,720 It's not something you just take and you go out and party on. 1146 00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:54,720 It is. It is by no means that and it 1147 00:50:54,720 --> 00:50:56,320 and let me be really clear, it is work. 1148 00:50:56,720 --> 00:50:58,920 I mean, Oh yeah. It is not like you're facing 1149 00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:01,240 yourself. You are facing the demons. 1150 00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:02,800 You are. It's not smoking a. 1151 00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:06,360 Bowl no it's not you know it's not like but but the but again 1152 00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:09,080 but the freedom that comes after having experienced that and you 1153 00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,080 mentioned the Costa Rica you know you know I again I'm so 1154 00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:14,960 passionate about this. I actually have a retreat that 1155 00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:17,800 burn up that we're sponsoring in Costa Rica coming up here in 1156 00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,880 April. It's for only 20 people and I've 1157 00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:24,640 assembled this incredible team of shamanic leaders, have years 1158 00:51:24,640 --> 00:51:27,080 and years of experience and facilitators and integrators and 1159 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,440 coaches and the music. Extremely important. 1160 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,080 I mean, so much intentions gone into this. 1161 00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:35,200 We've got an 18,000 square foot mansion that's there, right? 1162 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,880 You know, 5 minutes from the beach it it'll be an incredible 1163 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,120 week of healing. It'll be an incredible week of 1164 00:51:41,120 --> 00:51:43,840 self reflection, of connection, of community, and it's only for 1165 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,240 20 people and we're already, you know, I anticipate that it's 1166 00:51:46,240 --> 00:51:47,480 going to feel up here sooner than later. 1167 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:48,560 Yeah, Ben is gone. Yeah. 1168 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:53,160 How do they get in touch with you or how do people try and be 1169 00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:55,800 part of that experience? So you can so go to my website, 1170 00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:58,240 burnup.com and we'll. Have it in the. 1171 00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:00,880 Link, you know, just click on the retreats there, that's 1172 00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,120 there. You can follow me on social. 1173 00:52:02,120 --> 00:52:05,400 It's just Adam Nugent. So Nugent, you know I talk a lot 1174 00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:09,880 about it on there and and again plant medicine is a tool. 1175 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,640 It has been life changing for me. 1176 00:52:12,720 --> 00:52:15,640 It's not for everybody, right? Cannabis. 1177 00:52:15,640 --> 00:52:17,160 I mean you guys are cannabis guys, right? 1178 00:52:17,160 --> 00:52:21,680 So cannabis can be an incredible tool and resource and medicine 1179 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:25,160 for one person and it can be not for someone else. 1180 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:27,200 Totally right. You You guys know this one? 1181 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,160 Like any other one. So an intent like, like you 1182 00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,600 said, it is a very respected, sacred thing. 1183 00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,080 So it's there's a lot of intent and usage and we talk about that 1184 00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,000 often. Like, what is the intent that 1185 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,520 you're going in with, with your experience? 1186 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:44,760 Even with cannabis or ketamine or psilocybin or ayahuasca, you 1187 00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:49,000 know what is your intent behind the experience? 1188 00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,120 Yeah, yeah. And it's and it's one of the 1189 00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:54,040 most to me of all the things and I've I've, I've had an 1190 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,000 opportunity to try different things and there's different 1191 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:59,200 places for all of it. But for me, Ayahuasca for me has 1192 00:52:59,200 --> 00:53:01,960 been the greatest tool to connect me with the divine and 1193 00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,840 to bring me back home. It always brings me back home. 1194 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:08,320 It always when I'm out of alignment, it checks me and it's 1195 00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:11,960 painful sometimes, right. And but yet it's almost as if 1196 00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:14,880 hey I've got God's like, I've got you, I've got you. 1197 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:17,680 You know I've got to come in. Just want to share one quick 1198 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:19,920 story. I've got, you know this first 1199 00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,040 time I went to Costa Rica, right. 1200 00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:22,800 I had a four nights of ayahuasca. 1201 00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:25,760 And so you're cracked open the analogy I give again this is 1202 00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:27,040 where integration's so important. 1203 00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:29,240 It's like take Jerry Bruckheimer. 1204 00:53:29,240 --> 00:53:31,560 He's the, you know, the one that produced parts of the Caribbean. 1205 00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:35,160 So the one, one of the ways I, you know, I explain Ayahuasca is 1206 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:38,720 like, so you know, if I was Jerry that week, this is before 1207 00:53:38,720 --> 00:53:41,280 Pirates of the Caribbean came out the entire week. 1208 00:53:41,280 --> 00:53:44,160 I saw the whole movie before it even came out. 1209 00:53:44,400 --> 00:53:46,840 I saw the whole movie and it's like, Oh my gosh, it's going to 1210 00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:48,200 be the greatest blockbuster in the world. 1211 00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:51,200 But then once you get out of the medicine right, it see it so 1212 00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:54,880 clear, then you have to go hire the actors. 1213 00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,480 You got to raise the money. You got to do all the work 1214 00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:58,120 that's necessary. I mean, you can't just all of a 1215 00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:01,560 sudden produce a movie, right, This example, without doing all 1216 00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:04,640 the legwork and and all the time and effort that it takes to do 1217 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:06,200 that. This I. 1218 00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:07,800 So that week I experienced the same thing. 1219 00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,840 I saw my life laid out, I saw what's possible. 1220 00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,080 I saw these things like truly, that's like this, this, this is 1221 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:14,560 what's real and this is what can happen. 1222 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,200 And I was tripping, 'cause it was not like on medicine, but 1223 00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:21,000 just I was triggered like I just got cracked open. 1224 00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,040 What do I do with this? Right? 1225 00:54:22,040 --> 00:54:25,360 This is brand new to me experiencing this and I was 1226 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:26,560 going into a breath work session. 1227 00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:28,520 So one of the key things is we talked about different plant 1228 00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,240 medicines. You can get to this, you know, 1229 00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:32,880 psychedelic to state just even with your breath. 1230 00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,200 Oh yeah. I had my first breath experience 1231 00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:37,040 over your house. I mean, that was intense. 1232 00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:37,520 Crazy. Oh. 1233 00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:40,080 That was the one I met. Yeah, I was like I. 1234 00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,960 Didn't even want to go. And I was just like, fuck, I'll 1235 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,240 go, I'll go. Just wanted to go and I wasn't 1236 00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:46,560 able to. 'Cause I I didn't. 1237 00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:49,520 I didn't realize the immenseness of that. 1238 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,960 And it's exactly what you just. Stated you can get there with 1239 00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:54,640 your breath it's fascinating. So we go into this breath work 1240 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,160 experience and again, right I'm I'm triggered not knowing what 1241 00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:01,480 to do with what I just saw. And as I dig into it deeper and 1242 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,240 deeper, I all of a sudden and again, I'm not on any medicine. 1243 00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,800 I'm clear headed. I'm just using my breath. 1244 00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,480 I start to have this odd out of body experience. 1245 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:13,320 So I'm actually floating above my body looking at myself there 1246 00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:18,160 laying and then I look up and God's there and God and comes up 1247 00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:23,960 and holds me and is like Adam. I always have you, but right now 1248 00:55:23,960 --> 00:55:26,720 you have you. Grabs me, turns me around and 1249 00:55:26,720 --> 00:55:29,440 puts me into my own arms, and I'm holding myself. 1250 00:55:30,320 --> 00:55:35,120 Trippy. I again it was the IT was the 1251 00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:37,600 most self love I've ever felt my entire life. 1252 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:40,520 It was it was one of the IT. It might be the most impactful 1253 00:55:40,520 --> 00:55:43,280 moment I've ever had. In that moment, do you feel like 1254 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:44,920 you? This is the only way I can 1255 00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,240 reference it. Do you feel like you had almost 1256 00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:48,880 like a Christ, like love for yourself? 1257 00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:53,280 That's a great, yeah, 100%. I felt like I, you know, I know 1258 00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:57,280 people love and care about me. I felt in that moment the love 1259 00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:00,920 for myself that other people have reflected back to me. 1260 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:02,480 That's incredible. It but it. 1261 00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:04,320 But it was. Again, it was Breathwork's a 1262 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,280 modality. It was a tool. 1263 00:56:05,280 --> 00:56:07,440 But it was again, it brought me back home. 1264 00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:10,600 And I believe life's happening for us, not to us. 1265 00:56:10,960 --> 00:56:12,840 And if you can look at life that way, it's like, what's there to 1266 00:56:12,840 --> 00:56:13,960 learn in this? What am I going to learn in 1267 00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:14,560 this? What am I, you know? 1268 00:56:14,560 --> 00:56:17,160 So again, I had a week of incredible insight. 1269 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:20,800 And then again, going into that breathwork class, that whole 1270 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:23,680 experience wouldn't have happened had I not been 1271 00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:25,440 triggered, had I not, you know? And again, it's like something 1272 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:27,000 that was very uncomfortable. I didn't want to feel. 1273 00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:29,560 I almost didn't go to Breathwork, yet I leaned into 1274 00:56:29,560 --> 00:56:31,320 it. I stayed in it and had one of 1275 00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,400 the most profound moments, if not the profound moment in my 1276 00:56:33,400 --> 00:56:37,120 life, in that very moment, again bringing you back to home and my 1277 00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:39,360 whole intention. Like real home that you never 1278 00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:43,560 knew before. Not a love and A and a feeling 1279 00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,680 of it's I can't even put it into. 1280 00:56:46,680 --> 00:56:49,680 You can't describe it like I had that in my mirror. 1281 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:53,800 Work after it because I felt like this weird Christ like love 1282 00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:59,800 of like seeing me as like anyone else and it it was just 1283 00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:04,040 heartbreaking but like at the same time overwhelming, like 1284 00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:08,120 just washing over you and it was like you instantly see this like 1285 00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,480 child. Yeah, you're right. 1286 00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,440 And I think I mean again, whatever God is for whoever's 1287 00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:18,040 listening man, woman, universe. Whatever is for you. 1288 00:57:18,040 --> 00:57:20,240 But there, I do believe that there's there, there's a 1289 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:22,920 divinity that's there that has an infinite love for us. 1290 00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:27,400 And again, if I put myself in a Father, like a father role, if 1291 00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:30,600 it, you know, again in in the LDS faith in a lot of religions, 1292 00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:34,000 God's a man and you know and so but if we take that fault in a 1293 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:36,080 father, like a heavenly Father, if we take that role as a 1294 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:38,480 father, and I put myself in my shoes, I mean, I love my boys 1295 00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:42,960 more than anything. Yet I want my boys as much as I 1296 00:57:42,960 --> 00:57:45,360 want them to know how much I love them. 1297 00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:49,480 What I want them is to love them and to and to embrace themselves 1298 00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:52,480 and have the confidence and the strength and realize the answers 1299 00:57:52,560 --> 00:57:55,320 aren't outside of you boys. The answer is inside of you and 1300 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:57,680 you're going to as you continue to work on you and look at the 1301 00:57:57,680 --> 00:58:01,840 man in the mirror, the man you're becoming and taking 1302 00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:04,120 radical accountability for your mistakes and working and doing 1303 00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:05,520 that. That's what I want. 1304 00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:06,800 Then that's where self love is built. 1305 00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:08,680 That's where confidence is built and that is my why. 1306 00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,320 That is my purpose with men as it's like listen if there's 1307 00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:13,800 something that's out of alignment, you're the problem. 1308 00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:17,080 You're also the solution and there's plenty of modalities 1309 00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:18,360 there's coaching, different things. 1310 00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,080 I'm just, I'm so passionate about this and I'm living proof. 1311 00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:23,800 I mean, again, I'm living this on a daily basis. 1312 00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,320 And again, it's just, I just feel so-called to this and I and 1313 00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:30,280 and and it's an honor to be able to share it. 1314 00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:34,280 I I want to, I want to help people not experience the pain 1315 00:58:34,440 --> 00:58:36,280 and the anguish that I went through. 1316 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:37,880 Yeah. 'Cause it sucks. 1317 00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,520 Going through divorce and all the shit that you've gone 1318 00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:45,120 through sounds like it was hell. Yeah, living hell and yet again, 1319 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:46,400 finding gratitude in all of it. Yeah. 1320 00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:49,360 So grateful for, you know, finding the good and everything. 1321 00:58:49,680 --> 00:58:52,680 Well, it's made you the man you are today, you know, and it's 1322 00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,440 it's looking back and if anyone circumstance changed, you 1323 00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:58,080 wouldn't be this person that you are today. 1324 00:58:58,120 --> 00:59:00,080 Yeah, and I'm not the man I was, you know, someone that's going 1325 00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,440 to hold you in my past or different things. 1326 00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,120 I'm not the same man I was six months ago. 1327 00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:05,920 Probably not the same man you were yesterday because you 1328 00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:07,880 learned from experiences that happened yesterday. 1329 00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:11,080 Yeah, and I'm just so I want to be my the best version of myself 1330 00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,080 and I want to help others do the same thing. 1331 00:59:13,080 --> 00:59:16,320 And again, in a coaching role, consulting role, mentor role, 1332 00:59:16,320 --> 00:59:19,040 whatever, it's like the the all it does is bring it back to you, 1333 00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:23,440 right. So if the best, the best coaches 1334 00:59:23,440 --> 00:59:25,680 in the world is like when when they can help their cut their 1335 00:59:25,680 --> 00:59:28,400 clients, right get to their own conclusion on stuff, it's just 1336 00:59:28,400 --> 00:59:30,520 by asking questions. And then it's again, it's being 1337 00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:31,920 able to connect with them and understand it. 1338 00:59:31,920 --> 00:59:36,800 So again, weight loss, financial, you know if we have 1339 00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:38,800 any financial limitations or we're not making the money we're 1340 00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:40,520 making, if it's our bodies not where we want, if our 1341 00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:44,000 relationships, all these things, the core of all of it is are the 1342 00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,960 feelings and emotions and the mindset that we have attached to 1343 00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,720 it. That's where the magic is, is 1344 00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:50,840 you can work through that. So if something's not working, 1345 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:52,040 change your story, change your behavior. 1346 00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:53,760 It's pretty, I mean, again, pull the layers back. 1347 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,680 It's the formula's pretty simple, but it's breaking 1348 00:59:56,680 --> 00:59:59,560 through all the stories and whether it's coaching, whether 1349 00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:02,720 it's plant medicine, for me, it's been a combination of both. 1350 01:00:03,240 --> 01:00:06,400 And when you really do that, and it's not easy, but I'll tell you 1351 01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:09,000 goddamnit, it's worth it. Yeah, I and. 1352 01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:11,720 And right now we need this more than anything. 1353 01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,720 How many people have talked about or tried to commit suicide 1354 01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,280 or thought about committing suicide? 1355 01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:19,040 Like how many people men regularly struggle with 1356 01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:23,000 depression and like self doubt and self worth and can't look at 1357 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,440 that man in the mirror. Like truly can't look at that 1358 01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:28,440 man in the mirror. And so I think that's beautiful, 1359 01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:31,880 what you're doing because it brings that emotional sight. 1360 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:36,520 It allows people to connect with that home that true inner you 1361 01:00:37,400 --> 01:00:40,080 and like, see your value, see your worth. 1362 01:00:40,080 --> 01:00:42,000 It's. Not easy to do and you need a 1363 01:00:42,000 --> 01:00:44,680 guide for that. So for those that are listening 1364 01:00:44,680 --> 01:00:47,680 up there, go to burnup.com. Check it out the we'll have the 1365 01:00:47,680 --> 01:00:50,360 links down there in the show. Everything will be in the show. 1366 01:00:50,360 --> 01:00:52,400 Also put some pictures over there, you could be able to see 1367 01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:54,600 it linked to his social. So start falling Adam. 1368 01:00:55,920 --> 01:00:57,880 Great guy. Yeah, Adam man. 1369 01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:00,160 Thanks for. Taking your time and coming down 1370 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:01,920 here. Super passionate about this. 1371 01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:06,680 And yeah, and I think, again, I want it even for humanity, for 1372 01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,400 all of us. I mean, I just want us all to be 1373 01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:13,440 able to level up and and again, realize I said this, I'm going 1374 01:01:13,440 --> 01:01:16,240 to say it one more time. We're the we're the solution. 1375 01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:18,800 We're the answer. And again, that's why you hire a 1376 01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:21,560 coach, that's why you work with people, is to like help expedite 1377 01:01:21,560 --> 01:01:25,640 the process to be able to, you know, shortcut certain things. 1378 01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,960 But at the end of the day, it's like we can do anything and 1379 01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,920 everything we possibly want if we're willing to do the work and 1380 01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,360 take the steps necessary. And the key to it is facing 1381 01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:36,400 ourselves. Yeah, I. 1382 01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,320 Couldn't say any better. Sadly, I've noticed. 1383 01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:43,680 Was it recently, right after or before I had before this trip 1384 01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:48,000 with them that I had recently done, I think a microdose even 1385 01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:52,280 of psilocybin and there's been a big change in even day-to-day 1386 01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:55,800 things and things that I just noticed I wasn't putting in the 1387 01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,000 work. And it is. 1388 01:01:58,000 --> 01:02:00,840 It's facing that man in the mirror and like holding yourself 1389 01:02:00,840 --> 01:02:04,920 accountable because it can be so easy sometimes to fall into 1390 01:02:05,320 --> 01:02:07,040 what's familiar and what's comfortable. 1391 01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:10,200 Even if it's uncomfortable, it's still familiar. 1392 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:11,040 Familiar. Yep. 1393 01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,280 Yep. Adam, thank you so much for 1394 01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:14,040 coming on, man. Yeah. 1395 01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:14,800 Thank you. It's an honor. 1396 01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:16,760 I love what you guys are doing. Appreciate it. 1397 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:18,120 Take care everybody.