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Welcome to the show. 
I am really excited because my 

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friend Vicky from actually a 
spelling is joining me today to 

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talk about some survival skill 
tools. 

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Just some survival topics to 
school has been traumatic for 

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most of us, not going to lie 
here. 

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Middle school, high school. 
Oh man. 

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Those are just like the 
cringe-worthy segments of my 

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life. 
Those are the times when I felt 

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really awful and it was just 
trying to navigate and survive 

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on a social level. 
Evil Within the whole academic 

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thing because, you know, I grew 
up in a time frame where you had

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to go to college, you had to 
make these grades and you had to

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do this because everything was 
weighing, and it's going to 

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affect whether or not you got 
into a quote on quote, good 

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college, right? 
And if you got scholarships and 

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all this stuff, so there's so 
much pressure. 

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Hi, I'm Carol, Jean Whittington 
And you're about to experience 

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the new way to thrive in life 
and relationships as a late 

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identified autistic by unveiling
who you are, what you love 

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creating balance and being the 
leader and creator of your best 

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life. 
Get ready. 

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Because this is where we go 
against the mainstream. 

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We say no to outdated Society 
Mormons and we say yes to whom 

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we are in order to create a 
joy-filled balanced and more. 

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Or neuro Disney World in room 
two. 

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Welcome to mind your autistic 
brain. 

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Welcome to the show Vicki. 
I cannot wait for you to share. 

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Thank you for having me on the 
show. 

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I was going to say I'm excited, 
but honestly, I didn't like 

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school at all. 
So hopefully I'll be able to 

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share some tips and things that 
will help someone else to go to 

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my school. 
That's what I'm hoping for 

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because I didn't enjoy it. 
So hopefully someone else will 

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enjoy yet. 
I know it's kind of like School 

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enjoyment and it's kind of 
funny. 

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Things shifted for me when I got
to college and I think it 

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happened for you to it seems. 
I mean, anybody that's going for

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their PHD. 
Must like school, a little 

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Vicky. 
Primary school, I didn't really 

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like pay attention to because I 
was so young like secondary high

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school. 
I hated like, just just hate it 

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because I was a teenager and 
everything was changing and 

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really difficult. 
But as soon as I got to like 

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University, the pressure just 
like was released. 

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I mean you still have like 
deadlines and stuff that you 

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have to like work towards but 
everything is like so much more 

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relaxed. 
In a way, it's easier. 

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And you don't have to, like, go 
around making friends because 

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you have like classes with 
people like once a week. 

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So there's not like any point 
and it's just it's just nicer to

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be able to go off sit by 
yourself. 

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Just get on with things. 
Yeah, and for me, the big shift 

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in college was that I could 
choose what I was interested in 

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to study, you know? 
Yes, they have those 

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requirements but it was more 
like I had this, this choice and

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it wasn't just these wrote 
subjects and that always 

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bothered me and school is like, 
I would just be getting into a 

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history topic or a discussion. 
We're having in the Bell would 

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ring and you'd have to go to 
science or something else and 

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you're constantly shifting gears
and for me as Not knowing I was 

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autistic and and I need 
transition time. 

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That was stressful. 
It is because I remember my 

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school timetable. 
It was like blocked out and I'd 

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be like, okay, so I'm in this 
building now and then I've got 

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to go all the way upstairs to 
another building and there's no 

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time. 
So, you're constantly running 

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around trying to find your 
classes and it's exhausting. 

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And it's a lot to like manage 
and especially because you're 

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going from say like maths to 
science. 

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Then, to English your Raid has 
to just like switch straight 

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away. 
And that is a lot. 

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It's really overwhelming. 
You know, I didn't even notice 

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that. 
That was like the causation, the

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like the root cause ation. 
I mean, not that I was just 

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autistic and ADHD, but, but just
having to like constantly shift,

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gears and mrs. 
Like, trying to drive an 

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automatic driving a stick shift 
that. 

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It's like, I was burning up my 
clutch. 

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It's just really sucks. 
So, what are some things that 

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you found? 
That's what I helped. 

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You navigate this, or even in 
retrospect looking back, some 

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things for people to try and now
that you've identified me. 

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And if I had done this now that 
I'm doing it, this is a huge 

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help. 
What are some of those things? 

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But because I know you got a 
list, I think, when I was going 

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through it, I didn't think about
it. 

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I just did it. 
I was like, well, I need to get 

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to this class. 
I need to do it. 

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I don't want the teacher to tell
me off. 

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So just just do it and get on 
with it, but look. 

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Him back. 
One thing that I wish. 

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I have asked for and that you 
can ask for is if you can leave 

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your lessons like five minutes 
early, because then you have 

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anime. 
It's only five minutes, but you 

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have a little bit of time to 
beat the crowd. 

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It just gives you X well to 
process. 

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Okay. 
I'm here. 

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This is the class. 
Okay. 

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I know what I'm doing and it's a
breather. 

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So definitely ask if you can 
leave like your classes a little

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bit earlier just because That is
an accommodation that schools 

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they can do. 
They don't like doing it, but 

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they can do it. 
If it means you're gonna, like, 

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get on with your day better and 
feel more comfortable than feel 

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like you can learn more because 
you're less overwhelmed. 

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Then. 
Yeah, it's great. 

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All right. 
So tip number one is for to ask 

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for the five-minute, leave your 
class early, accommodation. 

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So that look, you can get in the
hallway when there's not like 

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500 people crowding you, because
that always drove me insane. 

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It was so loud, and I hate it. 
Touching me and people were 

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always pushing past me down a 
hallway. 

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Second one. 
Like the good part to that one 

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is you can go to the bathroom 
when there are like a million 

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people in there trying to do 
business and fix their hair and 

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just go in there for other 
things and it's so loud because 

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all the tile. 
So, okay, that five minutes 

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would have been huge. 
Wish I had, I had that one. 

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Got definitely go into the 
bathroom and either go during 

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class. 
Or I'd wanna go before everyone 

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else. 
Because you do you get people in

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there like that smoking and 
putting the makeup on? 

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It's like, I need the toilet. 
Can you leave, please? 

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Well, you can't say anything. 
So, I just didn't go to the 

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toilet for ages. 
I know, I would hold it forever,

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and I would find like times when
I the teacher would, actually 

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let me out of the classroom to 
go to the bathroom. 

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I feel like oh it would just be 
like the time I could actually 

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quietly sit and sometimes I just
kind of hang out in the bathroom

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quietly turning just to regroup 
for a minute and I need to go to

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realize I was doing it for for 
those sensory. 

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Reason it stops few moments to 
just sit with yourself and like 

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self-regulate and think, okay. 
I've been to the toilet. 

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I feel bad. 
I feel like I can go back to 

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class now and actually, maybe 
pay attention totally. 

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Okay. 
What? 

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You got next? 
I also think figuring out is a 

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good thing to like, see if you 
can ask for your timetable like 

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your schedule ahead of time 
because that can be really, 

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really helpful. 
So if you know that you've got 

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classes that are in different 
like buildings or across the 

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school, you can like as if 
you've got the five minutes, you

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can definitely plan. 
The quickest route to get 

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somewhere or the best way to get
somewhere. 

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And I think it really helps to 
help. 

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You familiarize yourself with 
what, you're going, what lessons

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you've got. 
I just got my timetable, like, 

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the day I started, I think, and 
I always spent so much time 

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trying to figure out where a my 
classes. 

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What am I doing? 
Where am I going? 

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And it was just a lot. 
So asking for a copy of your 

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timetable before you actually 
start. 

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So during the summer holidays, 
is the perfect time to contact 

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your school and just say, I know
that you're doing the timetable.

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Now, please could I have a copy 
because I need to adjust to all 

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the changes and things and the 
Transitions and it's reasonable.

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They should give you a copy of 
the timetable. 

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Okay, I love that because in 
school, you know, elementary 

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middle school, high school high 
school was worse like high 

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school and college those two 
really tough. 

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Now, you gotta remember too that
I went to three universities in 

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three years in three different 
states. 

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Navigating to a new campus, you 
know, quit pretty frequently. 

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I finally did settle. 
Okay, just took me a little bit.

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But, you know, just that was a 
huge stress for me to Vicki. 

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Trying to navigate. 
Like, how do I get from this 

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class? 
And you only have that small 

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window that they give you. 
So if you're asking for that 

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extra five minutes, this helps 
you be able to have a breather 

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and get where you're going 
without feeling, pressured to 

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hurry up and get there because 
for me, that was always like, so

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stressful. 
And especially because I was on 

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campuses that were really huge 
and so one building can be on 

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this side of campus, and your 
next class is all the way on the

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other side. 
So, you know, sometimes I would 

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had, I had to get a bicycle at 
LSU because the campus was so 

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big so that I could get from one
class all the way across campus 

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to another class because I 
didn't realize when I scheduled 

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it, but that's what happened. 
So I'm going to add to that tip.

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So when you ask for your 
schedule or your a timetable in 

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advance, and you say, look, I 
want to get this also. 

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If somebody if it's a new school
for you, and you've never been 

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on the campus and everything is 
completely new and you don't 

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know anything about it. 
Ask for an ambassador or someone

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who is there. 
That's part of the staff who can

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meet you and take you from one 
class to the next and you can 

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and have them get a map for you 
so that you can draw on it. 

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Make some notes and the person 
can physically walk you. 

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So you're not trying to figure 
it all out. 

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It takes a little stress off. 
I got smart. 

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The third school and figured out
how to ask for that. 

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I find that really, really 
helpful. 

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So having that one person as 
your like nominated person. 

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So if you need help, get to 
classes or you need help with 

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anything. 
There is someone that you feel 

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comfortable, you can go to and 
say, look, this is cropped up or

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oh, can you take me to this 
place? 

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Can be really helpful? 
I know, when I was doing my 

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Master's Degree. 
I found it really difficult 

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because we didn't have Like, set
classes, very often. 

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So I needed somewhere, quiet, I 
could work because I used to sit

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in the café, but it's really 
noisy. 

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So I used to spend a lot of time
talking to. 

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He was the student president for
my University, and he was 

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fantastic. 
He was great. 

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And I said to him one day I 
said, look, can you show me now 

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and write down like a list of 
all the quiet spaces? 

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But I can go to on campus so I 
know. 

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In advance where to go. 
So he took me on a tour of the 

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campus and just like, show me 
all the different classrooms and

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all the different like, quiet 
spaces. 

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And then he made a list of them 
and gave it to me. 

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And that was so helpful. 
It's like, oh my gosh, that's 

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genius. 
If I knowing where quiet spaces 

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are knowing where exits are and 
knowing where bathrooms are. 

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It can be really helpful and 
having someone that can show you

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those things so you can like 
familiarize yourself with it. 

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It's really helpful. 
Okay, that is so good. 

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That is really good. 
Because I sort of had to just 

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sort of figure out on my own 
where those quiet spaces works. 

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I'm like you, I had to have a 
place to kind of sit and think, 

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or be able to work and 
concentrate and even on a small 

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college campus. 
Like, even when I was at Spring 

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Hill. 
I think I managed to find like, 

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you know, two or three little 
quiet Nook, kind of spaces and 

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makes a huge difference. 
But if I had a thought about it 

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to ask, Body for that up front. 
Oh my gosh, that would have 

228
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:42,700
saved me a lot of time. 
Good one really good one Vicki. 

229
00:12:43,900 --> 00:12:50,600
The last thing that I can think 
of that would have helped me is.

230
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:55,600
I had a friend who who I am. 
And adults, but I wasn't friends

231
00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,300
with him in high school. 
He was diagnosed as a child. 

232
00:13:00,300 --> 00:13:03,900
So in high school, he got lots 
of support. 

233
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:08,000
And they had this place called 
learning support, for people who

234
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:11,200
had like diagnosis and things, 
where they could go and they 

235
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,300
have like extra classes, but it 
was a place that break times and

236
00:13:15,300 --> 00:13:19,900
lunch times, that they could go 
out of the way and just sit. 

237
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,400
I think you could use a computer
or you could read. 

238
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,600
I was just a safe. 
Space where you could go. 

239
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:29,400
So you didn't have to like me, 
awkwardly stand in the corridor 

240
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,700
with people that weren't really 
my friends trying to make 

241
00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:34,900
conversation. 
That was really awkward. 

242
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:42,100
So I think finding out, if there
is a space for social times like

243
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:46,200
great times that you can go to 
so that you feel more 

244
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,400
comfortable because I don't want
to awkwardly socialize with 

245
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,500
people. 
I would have rather had like a 

246
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:56,300
space. 
I can go to and Also, if you are

247
00:13:56,300 --> 00:14:00,100
feeling overwhelmed during 
classes, if you have, like, I 

248
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:02,700
think it's like a hall pass or a
pass or something. 

249
00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:06,200
So that if you feel like you're 
really like overwhelmed and 

250
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,500
overloaded, you can just say, 
look, can I go to this place and

251
00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:13,500
you have like a designated place
that you can go to? 

252
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,600
That would have helped me like 
so much. 

253
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,500
Yeah, that really would have. 
I'm just like, Tom out this 

254
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:27,700
house was, I gotta have a minute
and, you know, I didn't know I 

255
00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:34,400
was artistic ADHD till I was 39.
So one or two things that I 

256
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,000
actually just sort of 
organically learned, especially 

257
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,300
in college. 
Like I didn't do it as well in 

258
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,300
high school. 
I figured some things out by my 

259
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,300
senior year. 
It just took me a little bit, 

260
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:49,300
but when I got to college, I 
started to sort of figure better

261
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,500
things out. 
So if you are self-identified 

262
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,400
and you do not yet, have a 
formal diagnosis to take to 

263
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:58,100
school. 
Here is a suggestion in a tip 

264
00:14:58,100 --> 00:15:01,300
that I used that really made a 
difference for me. 

265
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,200
What I would do is when I 
started a new course for the 

266
00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:10,300
semester, I would go around for 
office hours that first week and

267
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:13,500
it sometimes, if they had office
hours like before school started

268
00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:17,000
like that week, you know, before
you start your classes formally.

269
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:21,700
I would go introduce myself to 
the professor and I would say, 

270
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,300
hey, I'm Carol Jean. 
I'm in your class for the 

271
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,300
semester. 
I'm really looking forward to 

272
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,100
it. 
You know, I'm a blank major, 

273
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:33,000
whatever it was at the time, 
because I switch did a bunch and

274
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:37,200
I would say, you know, hey, do 
you mind if I record your 

275
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,300
lectures to listen to do you 
have any additional resources or

276
00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:44,000
do you do study times? 
And I said, I know this is 

277
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,600
normally covered in your 
syllabus, but I just wanted to 

278
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,500
talk to you. 
First because I for some reason 

279
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:54,000
I have a much better experience 
and I Do Better Learning if I 

280
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,900
have a couple of these things 
and I just it's nothing that you

281
00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:59,900
have to do for me, but it's just
some things that I just want to 

282
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:02,800
check to make sure that this is 
something that you allow in your

283
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:05,600
classroom because everybody's a 
little different, some 

284
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,500
professors. 
Most of them don't care. 

285
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:10,600
If you record the lesson. 
Most of them don't care. 

286
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,300
If y'all share notes and you 
kind of have a study buddy, 

287
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:17,100
which dots my other thing in 
every class that you have. 

288
00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:22,700
Find two people, find two people
because there's going to be a 

289
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:24,400
day. 
That somebody is missing a class

290
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:26,200
or they're sick the same day. 
You're sick. 

291
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,700
And you need to have somebody 
you can call to get the notes or

292
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,900
ask say Hey, you know, can I 
take a look at what you have and

293
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:37,400
also in reciprocation for that 
have those two people know that 

294
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,600
they can call you to get your 
notes if they're out or sick, 

295
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,700
you know, you do kind of have to
set boundaries because if you're

296
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:45,300
not careful, you'll end up with 
that one person that's like 

297
00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:47,800
constantly asking for your notes
because they're Just don't do 

298
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,800
their own. 
You'll learn to kind of navigate

299
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:52,700
the right people to Buddy up 
with. 

300
00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:55,200
But if I'd at least two, because
you got to have to, because 

301
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:56,700
there's always going to be 
somebody that may end up being 

302
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,700
out the same day you are. 
But for me those were some 

303
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:00,900
things that made a huge 
difference. 

304
00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:05,300
Just being able to sort of 
navigate a class in to sort of 

305
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:07,700
meet my learning style. 
And that's another thing that I 

306
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:11,099
think was really helpful is when
I started to learn about, you 

307
00:17:11,099 --> 00:17:14,500
know, I do have some auditory 
processing challenges so 

308
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:18,400
sometimes I am not always a The 
process things, right? 

309
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,000
In the moment. 
It takes me a little bit 

310
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,800
process. 
So, I don't think of a question 

311
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:25,000
till later. 
So sometimes just being able to 

312
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,200
ask those questions that you 
formulate. 

313
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,800
When you go over things later 
and have a place to ask them. 

314
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,000
So ask your professor. 
You know. 

315
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,600
Hey, are you okay if I email 
you, you know, maybe once a week

316
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,100
just to check if I have a 
question. 

317
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:39,500
Can I send one to you or do you 
have during your office hours? 

318
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:42,900
Is it okay to come by and ask a 
question about this? 

319
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,900
If I it's about the notes, you 
know, what are your office? 

320
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:47,600
Our sort of curriculum? 
Type things. 

321
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,000
What do you what do you do? 
What? 

322
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,800
Don't you do during your office 
hours? 

323
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:55,000
That's a big one to ask. 
How I totally agree with. 

324
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:59,400
Like, all those points. 
I remember my first, but I 

325
00:17:59,408 --> 00:18:02,500
remember the first thing I did 
when I was at University on my 

326
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:06,200
first day because I already knew
what I was doing when I got 

327
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,100
there. 
I was like, I'm in my first 

328
00:18:08,100 --> 00:18:10,100
year, but for my third year, I'm
going to do this. 

329
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:14,200
I was like I was thinking like 
way ahead so there was one 

330
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,100
Professor and I was like, that's
my guy. 

331
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,900
I'm going to be really forward. 
I'm going to go open a bit, 

332
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:24,400
introduce myself. 
I ended up sending him an email 

333
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,200
and saying look, I think I'm 
autistic. 

334
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,200
I want to do this in my third 
year. 

335
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:33,900
Y de blah de blah and he was 
great. 

336
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:41,800
He was he was like my person 
that I would go to and he was my

337
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,400
supervisor, in my third year. 
He was my supervisor. 

338
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:47,700
At Masters level. 
And he's still my supervisor now

339
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:53,000
because we've built that 
relationship and He knows that I

340
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:57,200
send a lot of emails and he 
expect that, but I was always 

341
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,000
kind of. 
I found it. 

342
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,800
Like you said, I couldn't 
process things when I was in the

343
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,900
middle of the lecture. 
So afterwards, I'd be like, had 

344
00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,700
gone knock on his door. 
We'd have like really like 

345
00:19:07,700 --> 00:19:09,700
in-depth conversations and I'd 
leave. 

346
00:19:09,700 --> 00:19:13,000
And I'd be like, okay, I get it.
Now that was really, really 

347
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:17,100
helpful and it's not being 
afraid to ask questions because 

348
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:22,800
I was always terrified to ask 
questions, but the But Jim was 

349
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,200
really nice. 
So they want to help you. 

350
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:33,600
So ask the question and deaf 
having like a friend. 

351
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,800
I had. 
I only had one though, and she 

352
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,300
was my friend like all the way 
through. 

353
00:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,700
So we would like talk to each 
other about like the classes and

354
00:19:41,700 --> 00:19:45,500
we study together. 
What I was the one and I found 

355
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:48,700
this really helpful. 
I had folders and folders of 

356
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:52,800
notes and they were brightly 
colored and Lots of highlighters

357
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:56,300
and I have flashcards. 
And I was the one that came in 

358
00:19:56,300 --> 00:19:58,900
and everyone was like, what is 
this? 

359
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:03,300
And I'm like, it's my revision. 
You know, I go all out making 

360
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,200
notes and having flash cards, 
and things, he's really helpful 

361
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,100
and because I'm like, a 
kinesthetic /. 

362
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,800
Visual learner. 
Having flashcard bright colors. 

363
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:17,200
Really helped me, but I might, 
and it's nice to have that 

364
00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:19,600
friend because me, and my friend
would like work together. 

365
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,100
I'd show her my notes and she'd 
show, Has. 

366
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:26,500
And it is really nice because 
you do form connections and it's

367
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:30,000
over something that you both 
have an interest in. 

368
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,300
You want to learn, you want to 
be there. 

369
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:36,200
So having someone that shares, 
that is really, really nice. 

370
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,300
But yeah, I'm trying to think. 
What was the other point, you 

371
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:47,600
said, but I have forgot. 
So that's a really good one. 

372
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:58,700
I have an obsession with office 
supplies and I always have a 

373
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,700
dire basket of colored 
highlighters and pencils and 

374
00:21:06,700 --> 00:21:10,600
have all different size index 
cards lined and unlined. 

375
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:17,100
And I have folders and oh I got 
to share with you my new binder.

376
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:24,800
Oh, wow, I mean, okay. 
I saw it. 

377
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:32,100
I have to have that thing is if 
you have bright colors and 

378
00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:36,000
things are appealing. 
It's I find it easier to learn. 

379
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:42,800
Yeah, I take it in more. 
Well, in a it's also it's like I

380
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,500
discovered and I'm just going to
say I use lots of different 

381
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:48,700
highlighter colors and I even do
it in my Kindle week when I'm 

382
00:21:48,700 --> 00:21:50,000
reading and I highlight 
something. 

383
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:54,300
I have a specific color for a 
specific thing, right? 

384
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:56,200
So no. 
Okay. 

385
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,900
Yes, you too. 
So it's like, if it's the 

386
00:21:59,900 --> 00:22:04,600
question or the topic for this 
section, it's in blue for me, 

387
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:08,100
and then the answer or the 
supporting evidence. 

388
00:22:08,100 --> 00:22:11,500
I do in a different. 
Water and I will do it, you 

389
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:14,100
know, and if it's a secondary or
tertiary, then it has its own 

390
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,200
little color because it's not 
just the main point, right? 

391
00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:22,500
And I noticed that for me, it 
has a lot to do with that 

392
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:25,100
dopamine. 
Hit for my ADHD side of my 

393
00:22:25,100 --> 00:22:27,500
brain. 
That's like I like the variety. 

394
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:30,300
I like the stimulation because 
like you I'm a kinesthetic 

395
00:22:30,300 --> 00:22:32,800
learner. 
I'm very auditory. 

396
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:36,300
But my processing can be slow 
for certain things, like for 

397
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:38,000
music. 
It's super fast and I can 

398
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,500
remember a lyric the first time 
I hear. 

399
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,700
Here it I own I even have like 
what I call predictive lyric 

400
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:47,300
ability, like all Here song for 
the very first time and for some

401
00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:50,100
reason I can immediately kind of
pick up the lyric and sing 

402
00:22:50,100 --> 00:22:51,600
along. 
It's really weird. 

403
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,200
Apparently. 
No one is normally doing this. 

404
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:56,500
People are like, that's weird. 
How do you do that? 

405
00:22:56,500 --> 00:23:00,100
I was like, I don't know, I 
could sit in a classroom and not

406
00:23:00,100 --> 00:23:02,400
be able to process something, 
but I could hear a song and it's

407
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,100
different. 
It's just one of their things 

408
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,100
but knowing and kind of learning
those things about yourself and 

409
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:13,300
your Style and just doing 
something that makes you feel 

410
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:16,600
comfortable, but makes you feel 
happy while doing it. 

411
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:21,200
It's really important because it
makes all the difference. 

412
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,500
I like things to be pretty and I
like them. 

413
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,100
When they look nice. 
It makes me happy. 

414
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:31,400
So if I can make my boring 
lecture notes, look, nice. 

415
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:37,100
I want to read them. 
So it's so true and there's a 

416
00:23:37,100 --> 00:23:41,800
lot to be said for, Just the 
environment that you set up 

417
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,300
because I am really bad. 
I can't sit down and study if 

418
00:23:46,500 --> 00:23:48,700
there's a mess or if there's 
something that's going to 

419
00:23:48,708 --> 00:23:51,500
visually distract me because I'm
like squirrel. 

420
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:54,700
And the next thing I know I'm 
like rearranging my closet and 

421
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:58,600
I've got a testimony. 
But I can't sit down and 

422
00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:01,200
concentrate and focus because I 
can see something. 

423
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:05,700
It's kind of Z. 
So having a study area that you 

424
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:08,500
keep that's you know, where 
you've got some fun stuff. 

425
00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:14,400
Like I keep my bracelet and, you
know, I even now at 47, you 

426
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,600
know, doing what I do. 
I'm always taking a class. 

427
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:21,000
I'm always doing something. 
I'm reading a book. 

428
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,900
I'm doing something to educate 
and expand my mind. 

429
00:24:24,300 --> 00:24:29,500
It's really important. 
Just On a human level to know 

430
00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:32,500
that you're always learning, 
you're always growing, you're 

431
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:35,900
always expanding your knowledge 
base because that is one of the 

432
00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:43,600
parts of being us. 
That makes our world enjoyable. 

433
00:24:43,900 --> 00:24:47,300
I enjoy doing that. 
But I also know that I still 

434
00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:50,900
have those study skills that I 
developed my color coding and 

435
00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,900
things like that and making it 
pretty. 

436
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,900
But having that environment 
where I know I study So that I'm

437
00:24:57,900 --> 00:25:01,100
not easily distracted. 
That was a big one for me. 

438
00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:03,100
Like, I've got fidget things and
stuff. 

439
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:05,700
I can come to channel my 
nervous, busy energy because I 

440
00:25:05,700 --> 00:25:09,400
have a lot of that. 
And being able to focus in look,

441
00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,300
you do not have to sit still to 
study by the way. 

442
00:25:12,300 --> 00:25:17,000
So, right? 
Like, Vicki and I have, we both 

443
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:20,700
run, we are not pretty Runners. 
We are not fast Runners, but 

444
00:25:20,700 --> 00:25:23,300
it's a rhythm. 
It's giving your brain that 

445
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:26,100
escape. 
And you know, what I do is I 

446
00:25:26,100 --> 00:25:28,000
really I have you. 
We take that time when I'm 

447
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:29,800
running or when I go out hiking 
or walking. 

448
00:25:29,900 --> 00:25:32,100
That's when I process the 
information. 

449
00:25:32,100 --> 00:25:34,200
I'm thinking about studying or 
about you. 

450
00:25:34,300 --> 00:25:38,800
Yeah, I'm exactly the same. 
I find that my desk in my 

451
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,800
computer and everything is in my
bedroom. 

452
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,700
So my beds just around the 
corner and I hate it because my 

453
00:25:47,700 --> 00:25:51,500
bedroom and everything here is 
like a distraction, but because 

454
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,200
I live with my parents. 
I don't have any of the space so

455
00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:56,800
I make do. 
So, it's really hard. 

456
00:25:57,000 --> 00:26:02,200
For me, so I prefer going out to
University, pre covid-19, could 

457
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:06,600
because it's quiet and it's 
just, it's easier. 

458
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:10,900
But definitely having a space. 
I like having like, so, like a 

459
00:26:10,900 --> 00:26:14,800
sensory space while I'm working.
So all my like, Tech lights up, 

460
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,900
and I have like, fidgets and 
stuff, and it's really nice to 

461
00:26:17,900 --> 00:26:20,900
look at. 
So it helps me like to regulate 

462
00:26:20,900 --> 00:26:24,500
while I'm working, which is 
really, really important, but I 

463
00:26:24,500 --> 00:26:29,800
do find that when I'm Learning. 
That is why time where I do? 

464
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,600
I process everything. 
So I've been going through, 

465
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:38,000
like, research interviews at the
moment and when I'm out running,

466
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,400
I'll think. 
Oh, yeah, that's a really great 

467
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,800
thing and the idea of come to me
while I'm out because I'm in the

468
00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,300
zone when I'm running. 
I'm so focused. 

469
00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:50,600
And that's what I get my great 
ideas, and it's great because 

470
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:54,000
then I can come back and think 
that was a great run. 

471
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,800
It was actually a really bad run
and I would really slow. 

472
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:59,500
Whoa, but I got really good 
ideas from it. 

473
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,800
And it's fantastic. 
I love that. 

474
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,600
I love that. 
I don't even I don't even focus 

475
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:07,600
on my time. 
I don't look at that. 

476
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:11,400
And mean I look at my distance 
for the simple fact that right. 

477
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:16,700
Now I signed up for this Fender 
and 60 km challenge it and I'm 

478
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:19,100
over halfway there. 
It has been a smooth steady 

479
00:27:19,100 --> 00:27:22,800
process because I started at the
end of January and I'm just kind

480
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,100
of there, but, but I was 
thinking about the other day. 

481
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:27,500
I was like, you know, it 
doesn't, it's not It is. 

482
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:30,500
It's my mental health time. 
It's my processing time and like

483
00:27:30,500 --> 00:27:34,100
you, that's when I get my really
great ideas. 

484
00:27:34,300 --> 00:27:38,300
That's when I go like solve a 
problem that my subconscious has

485
00:27:38,300 --> 00:27:41,100
been working on and that was 
another thing. 

486
00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:46,400
It's like when I run into things
that I haven't figured them out 

487
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:49,700
yet. 
I haven't solved the problem 

488
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,300
that were the penny hadn't 
dropped so to speak. 

489
00:27:52,300 --> 00:27:55,100
And it hasn't made sense to me 
something that I'm learning or 

490
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:58,800
studying. 
What I found is the more I try 

491
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,800
and focus and force myself to 
understand it. 

492
00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:07,000
The more resistant, my brain is 
to solving it, but I noticed 

493
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,400
that when I just go, okay, and I
trust that my subconscious brain

494
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,100
is going to solve that problem, 
and I just like, I'm just going 

495
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:16,900
to set it to the side. 
It'll come. 

496
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,800
And it's amazing because it's 
usually on those walks or Those 

497
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,800
runs where I'm thinking about 
something else that all of a 

498
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:25,200
sudden poof. 
There it is. 

499
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,100
I find that as well and the 
waiting is. 

500
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:34,100
I hated running when I was 
younger because we did cross 

501
00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,700
country at school. 
It was awful. 

502
00:28:36,100 --> 00:28:41,200
But as an adult, I love it. 
It is that time where I can just

503
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,600
get out and just forget 
everything and just go and have 

504
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:47,000
a nice run. 
So I think I'm not necessarily 

505
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,400
saying people should start 
running. 

506
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:50,900
Try it. 
See if you like it. 

507
00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:55,600
You might like it might actually
enjoy it but finding that time 

508
00:28:56,100 --> 00:28:59,800
away from school away from 
everything else where it's just 

509
00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:02,700
you. 
I'm a bit self-care bit of 

510
00:29:02,700 --> 00:29:07,900
exercise, just a bit of stimming
and fidgeting having that set 

511
00:29:07,900 --> 00:29:10,900
time. 
For yourself is really important

512
00:29:10,900 --> 00:29:13,400
because there's so much going on
at school. 

513
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:16,700
And sometimes, you need to step 
away from that. 

514
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:22,100
And just be with yourself. 
Yes, excellent advice. 

515
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,700
Look, there are lots of days in 
there's lots of times, where my 

516
00:29:25,700 --> 00:29:27,600
physical health doesn't allow me
to run. 

517
00:29:27,700 --> 00:29:29,600
So I'll just go for a short 
walk. 

518
00:29:29,700 --> 00:29:33,100
Even if If it's just up the 
street and back that's it. 

519
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:36,200
It's sometimes it's just enough 
to kind of give you that little 

520
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,900
breathing room. 
And the other thing is that you 

521
00:29:39,900 --> 00:29:46,400
cannot maintain and work at this
level up here all the time. 

522
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,400
It is not possible. 
Vicki. 

523
00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:50,500
There was this just as well as I
do. 

524
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,300
She does it from the psychology 
side. 

525
00:29:52,300 --> 00:29:53,700
I know it from the Neuroscience 
side. 

526
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:58,700
Your brain is not designed to 
maintain that type of constant 

527
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,300
work. 
Our brains work in cycles, and 

528
00:30:02,300 --> 00:30:06,600
we do really well in spurts and 
bursts and blocks of time. 

529
00:30:06,700 --> 00:30:10,100
But we have to have Restoration 
in between your brain has to 

530
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:16,300
have space to recover to rest. 
And honestly, when I started to 

531
00:30:16,300 --> 00:30:21,000
put in those blocks of time in 
those areas of rest, just to go 

532
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,700
have fun just to play. 
I mean go jump on the trampoline

533
00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:28,100
at the neighbor's house. 
I mean, I just, you know, 

534
00:30:28,100 --> 00:30:32,000
there's just certain things that
I've I do and I learned over 

535
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:36,200
time, it was really important to
do in order to really be 

536
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,500
effective and efficient when I 
was working because when I was 

537
00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:45,700
under the misguided belief that 
I had to operate up here all the

538
00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:49,700
time, 24/7, that's the best 
place to get yourself into 

539
00:30:49,700 --> 00:30:52,900
burnout. 
It is. 

540
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:58,000
And when I was in like high 
school, middle school, all I did

541
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:03,400
was like, stress about school 
and I was so focused on like 

542
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,600
getting really, really good 
grades that that took over 

543
00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:11,700
everything and then I lost a lot
of like time because I look at 

544
00:31:11,700 --> 00:31:14,400
myself now and I'm like almost 
30. 

545
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,500
And I think what did I do? 
That was like fun. 

546
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:19,700
When I was in like high school. 
What did I do? 

547
00:31:19,700 --> 00:31:22,000
When I was a teenager? 
ER, like late teens. 

548
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:27,400
Yeah, I had fun, but I've missed
so much because I was so worried

549
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:33,100
about my grades and everything 
around me that I missed out on 

550
00:31:33,100 --> 00:31:36,900
so much. 
And I was so exhausted. 

551
00:31:37,300 --> 00:31:42,500
Did everything giving yourself 
time to just go and have fun. 

552
00:31:44,500 --> 00:31:50,200
Well, there's a lot of research 
out there about how play really 

553
00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,100
changes your life and play is 
not just for children. 

554
00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:58,000
It is even more for adults. 
It really is. 

555
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:05,400
And I found that I found and 
reclaimed that sense of joy and 

556
00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:10,500
wonderment in my adult life when
I learned to play again, or play

557
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,400
for the first time, really, 
because I didn't play as a 

558
00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:13,600
child. 
I don't know about you. 

559
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,700
I didn't play, I was very 
serious. 

560
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,400
Yeah, I was kind of like that. 
I'd play by myself and I was 

561
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,300
very, you know myself so I would
play with myself and I talked to

562
00:32:26,300 --> 00:32:29,000
my toys. 
I wouldn't like play outwardly 

563
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,600
with anyone else and one thing 
that I think is important as 

564
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,700
well. 
Is that when you're a child, 

565
00:32:36,700 --> 00:32:40,300
Your parents like they want you 
to play and you have imagination

566
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:42,200
and play with toys and things. 
But then when you get to your 

567
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:46,000
teams and your in high school, 
it's like oh, well, you can't 

568
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:47,700
play anymore. 
You're a teenager. 

569
00:32:47,700 --> 00:32:49,100
You're going to be an adult 
soon. 

570
00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:52,200
You know, you can't, that's not 
age-appropriate, you know, 

571
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:56,200
you're in school. 
You need to focus on that and 

572
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:58,000
don't be silly. 
You know, you can't go out and 

573
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,900
play with your friends, but it's
important as parents that you 

574
00:33:01,900 --> 00:33:05,200
let your child play. 
Just just let them, they need 

575
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,100
that time. 
That's an apple. 

576
00:33:07,100 --> 00:33:09,200
Now. 
I have toys and things. 

577
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,000
I hope they like toys all the 
time. 

578
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,700
And my parents think that, why 
are you buying more toys? 

579
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:18,000
And I'm like, I like toys toys 
are fun. 

580
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,100
Well, but they're not 
age-appropriate. 

581
00:33:20,100 --> 00:33:25,000
And I'm like, I don't care. 
It's my enjoyment and I love 

582
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,700
that. 
And for a parent to say, no, 

583
00:33:27,900 --> 00:33:30,800
don't play, don't take that time
for yourself. 

584
00:33:31,100 --> 00:33:35,200
It can be really difficult. 
So give playtime. 

585
00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:40,200
Lutely, and you know, one of the
things I even have in the 

586
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:44,900
introduction for this show is 
that we go against the 

587
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:48,900
mainstream, we go against 
societal Norms here. 

588
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:56,100
And one of those is exactly that
the societal Norm made say, And 

589
00:33:56,100 --> 00:33:59,800
it's an old outdated broken Norm
because we know that it's 

590
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,800
broken. 
We know that all people of every

591
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:07,500
age need to play that toys are 
not just for toddlers. 

592
00:34:07,700 --> 00:34:11,100
Toys are for everybody. 
It brings enjoyment. 

593
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:15,100
And here's the thing. 
That's the shift we're making 

594
00:34:15,500 --> 00:34:19,000
when we start to have this 
conversation here together and 

595
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,900
we start to shift those broken 
societal in the worms. 

596
00:34:22,699 --> 00:34:26,800
It's not that we are too old for
toys. 

597
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,300
That's silly really. 
But let's think about it. 

598
00:34:30,300 --> 00:34:33,100
That's silly. 
We're never too old for toys. 

599
00:34:33,500 --> 00:34:36,800
That's just this. 
You have to be grown up in very 

600
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:40,100
serious to be an adult. 
Well, people we know that as a 

601
00:34:40,107 --> 00:34:43,199
broken belief. 
We know that that's not true. 

602
00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:47,900
If you look at people in the 
world, you look at adults, you 

603
00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:51,800
look at like a million different
millionaires that are out there 

604
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,600
today, they play. 
Anybody that you see that's 

605
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,400
really happy that that 
successful in what they do and 

606
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:02,400
they found a balance between 
work and play. 

607
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:04,600
They're the most fulfilled 
people. 

608
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,400
So why in the world would we 
deny ourselves the joy and the 

609
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:13,600
pleasure of play as an adult? 
Because you know what, I can 

610
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:19,500
adult and still play. 
It's like the whole special like

611
00:35:19,700 --> 00:35:22,300
interests things like, focused 
interests. 

612
00:35:22,700 --> 00:35:27,800
Like I always used to find the 
School was a nightmare and when 

613
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,600
I came home, I would obsess over
like something. 

614
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:35,600
So for me, it's like sculptures.
So I guess what I'm doing. 

615
00:35:35,700 --> 00:35:37,500
Have you heard about this? 
Have you heard about this and 

616
00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:39,800
such and such a but it was made 
by this person and it was this 

617
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:43,300
year and I'd go into all this 
detail about this thing because 

618
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:47,000
it was a way for me to like 
distress and self-regulate after

619
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:51,300
a hard day at school, but my 
parents are very old. 

620
00:35:51,300 --> 00:35:54,200
Well, we've just come home from 
work and we're tired and we just

621
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,100
want to sit down. 
We do. 

622
00:35:55,700 --> 00:35:58,600
Hair about your interests. 
Again, you talk about them all 

623
00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:00,400
the time. 
It's tiring. 

624
00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:02,400
Can you talk about something 
else? 

625
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,900
And I hate that. 
This is the thing that I hear so

626
00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:11,900
often, it's like, please let 
people autistic people engage in

627
00:36:11,900 --> 00:36:17,700
their special interests because 
that is self care in a way and 

628
00:36:17,700 --> 00:36:20,400
you may be tired of hearing 
about it. 

629
00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:26,100
Enthusiasm and passion and the 
joy we get from Um, that is 

630
00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:29,900
incredible whether it's age 
appropriate or not, for me 

631
00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:33,400
coming home from school and 
engaging in that interest just 

632
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:38,400
like changed everything and it 
allowed me to cope going into 

633
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,500
school the next day. 
Absolutely. 

634
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:44,800
When you come home from school, 
guys, you do not have to 

635
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,600
immediately get to your 
homework. 

636
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:49,800
You don't immediately have to 
like get it done in order to 

637
00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,200
earn your play time. 
You have just been in school for

638
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:55,000
eight hours. 
You have earned some rest. 

639
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:58,300
Okay, that was the one thing 
that was really important. 

640
00:36:58,300 --> 00:36:59,900
For me, was when I got home from
school. 

641
00:37:00,300 --> 00:37:04,400
I got a snack and I sat in front
of the TV and I watched my 

642
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:07,500
special. 
My special shows that I love, 

643
00:37:07,500 --> 00:37:09,400
because they made me happy like 
Fraggle Rock. 

644
00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:16,700
Because we love Fraggle Rock. 
And by the way, I'm still 

645
00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:18,800
singing that song in my head 
since we talked about it the 

646
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:23,900
other day, but being able to 
have that time to just like do 

647
00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:29,200
nothing to be quiet to be, still
to engage in something, that 

648
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:32,300
brings you Joy. 
And that's fun for you. 

649
00:37:32,700 --> 00:37:36,000
I, it would take two or three 
hours for me to get to a point 

650
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,400
where I had the brain power in 
the bandwidth to do homework. 

651
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,100
And if I was up till 9:00 or 
10:00. 

652
00:37:43,300 --> 00:37:49,300
Night to finish. 
So what so what it is not like, 

653
00:37:49,300 --> 00:37:51,700
prescribed bedtime, that's going
to make a difference because all

654
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:55,600
I would do is be laying their 
wide awake, and it just made me 

655
00:37:55,600 --> 00:38:00,800
physically stressed. 
So, parents, adults, kids, when 

656
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:02,600
you get home from work, it was 
the same. 

657
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,800
I mean, I would work all day 
long in a corporate job as a 

658
00:38:06,808 --> 00:38:09,900
hospital administrator. 
I come home and I was done. 

659
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,100
I had just exerted all my 
energy. 

660
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,500
EG doing a million different 
things all day long. 

661
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:19,100
I have walked five miles around 
a hospital pair of heels, you 

662
00:38:19,100 --> 00:38:24,900
know, it was time for a break 
and when you get home, having 

663
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:28,600
those those routines set up in 
those healthy boundaries for 

664
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:33,600
yourself for your children, for 
your spouse because everybody 

665
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:38,800
needs that time when they first 
get home from work or school, or

666
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,800
whatever it is that you've been 
doing for the day to be able to 

667
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:47,500
just Wind in transition, and 
then it also allows you to 

668
00:38:47,500 --> 00:38:51,000
restore that energy so that you 
can be a really great parent. 

669
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,000
You can be that really great 
spouse. 

670
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:57,500
You can be that really great kid
or even, you know, brother or 

671
00:38:57,500 --> 00:39:01,600
sister, because you've got the 
spoons to show up and just sit 

672
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,900
and listen to somebody or two to
talk and have a conversation. 

673
00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:08,400
I think we all have to be able 
to recognize that the people in 

674
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:12,700
our life even if they're not 
neuro distinct like us, they 

675
00:39:12,700 --> 00:39:15,400
need that. 
Time to and we all have to find 

676
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,700
short of that balance in our 
relationship, so that we're 

677
00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:22,600
being respectful and honoring of
one another, I think, like you 

678
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:28,500
said coming home and watching 
TV, I will do that, but I never 

679
00:39:28,500 --> 00:39:34,200
really understood until now is 
why I need that time because 

680
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:37,600
like I said you have just done a
full school day. 

681
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:41,500
Your brain is as been on maximum
all the way through and you you 

682
00:39:41,500 --> 00:39:45,600
need time to process everything.
Is a lot and I think this is one

683
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:47,700
thing. 
Teachers don't really get well, 

684
00:39:47,900 --> 00:39:53,200
take all the homework. 
It's a lot and you are expected 

685
00:39:53,200 --> 00:39:55,900
to go home. 
And then the first thing you do 

686
00:39:55,900 --> 00:39:58,700
is do your homework, then you 
can relax. 

687
00:39:58,700 --> 00:40:01,500
But if you've not got the 
capacity or energy to do your 

688
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:04,000
homework, you're never going to 
do it. 

689
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:07,000
It's never going to get done. 
So, having that set time, like 

690
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:12,900
you said, is so important and 
it's just letting go of the 

691
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,500
Comparison. 
And the belief that you have to 

692
00:40:15,500 --> 00:40:18,800
do something a certain way. 
You don't have to do anything. 

693
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,400
In any particular way. 
I'd say all the time. 

694
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:26,900
You don't have to you don't have
to do anything in any particular

695
00:40:26,900 --> 00:40:30,400
prescribed way other than what 
works for you and take the time 

696
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,200
to be the scientist in this and 
sort of figure out what works. 

697
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:39,700
Try some different things, you 
know, be in communication and 

698
00:40:39,700 --> 00:40:43,100
observation of yourself of your 
choice. 

699
00:40:43,300 --> 00:40:46,300
Ryan, or if, if you're the 
child, you know, be observant 

700
00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:50,000
and kind of bring it up to your 
parents to say, you know, hey, I

701
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,100
noticed that when I get home 
from school, I need a minute. 

702
00:40:52,100 --> 00:40:53,400
When you get home from work, 
mom. 

703
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,700
Do you need a minute? 
Do you need some time to process

704
00:40:56,700 --> 00:41:00,500
and, you know, not have us 
asking a million things, you 

705
00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:03,100
know, because I know that I need
that time when I get home from 

706
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:07,300
school, and when you relay 
things in that way, people go. 

707
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:11,000
Oh, yeah, I do. 
And they start to reflect and 

708
00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,700
notice how they feel. 
And if you say, Say you need 

709
00:41:13,700 --> 00:41:14,500
something to. 
Then. 

710
00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:16,500
They're like, Huff. 
I feel this way. 

711
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:20,200
Maybe they feel that way too. 
And when you start to share 

712
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,100
that, that's when things start 
changing. 

713
00:41:22,100 --> 00:41:25,500
And that's when we've got that 
deeper true or connection to 

714
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:28,200
better understand one another 
and we're bridging that Gap, 

715
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,500
that happens. 
So often as you said, it is so 

716
00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:34,700
important to communicate our 
because otherwise my parents 

717
00:41:34,700 --> 00:41:36,200
would be like, why are you doing
that? 

718
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,000
Why are you not doing what you 
should be doing? 

719
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,500
But then once you say, oh, well,
I'm just taking a break because 

720
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:44,600
I need a bit of Sunny to process
everything. 

721
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:47,000
It's like, alright. 
Okay, that's fine. 

722
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,400
So having that two-way 
communication is really, really 

723
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,700
helpful and it does like it 
strengthens your relationships 

724
00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:56,800
as well. 
It does because it shifts, you 

725
00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:01,700
know, we tend to hear the 
psychology person here in this 

726
00:42:01,700 --> 00:42:05,600
relationship. 
But what I've learned Mickey, 

727
00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,500
and I'm sure you probably have 
some things to add to this one 

728
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:13,000
is that, you know, with 
alexithymia, I wasn't always 

729
00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:18,800
able to express or identify like
I would feel all the feels but I

730
00:42:18,808 --> 00:42:22,000
didn't know how to identify it, 
to explain it or to even know 

731
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:26,200
what that was. 
And if I had had someone to say 

732
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,600
to me. 
Hey, when you get home from 

733
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:32,300
school, what do you notice, you 
know, what are some things that 

734
00:42:32,300 --> 00:42:36,000
you're starting to notice like? 
What do you avoid doing? 

735
00:42:36,700 --> 00:42:41,500
What do you try and seek to do? 
And sometimes this those little 

736
00:42:42,500 --> 00:42:48,000
highlights help you talk through
and sort of identify what it is 

737
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:51,700
that you need, because I 
couldn't identify that. 

738
00:42:51,700 --> 00:42:54,000
That's what I needed. 
I was avoiding schoolwork. 

739
00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,800
I didn't even I drop my backpack
at the back door in the laundry 

740
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,000
room, and I wasn't getting it 
till I was ready. 

741
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,800
And that's just sort of like one
of those identifiers. 

742
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,100
It's like So, I immediately 
needed a snack and I wanted to 

743
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:07,600
sit down and please don't talk 
to me. 

744
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,900
My ears are tired. 
They feel like they're bleeding 

745
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:13,500
after eight hours of listening, 
but I didn't know how to express

746
00:43:13,500 --> 00:43:19,300
that, but my, my behavior. 
My choice in activities, spoke 

747
00:43:19,300 --> 00:43:22,000
to that. 
So if I was a able to identify 

748
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,500
that or have somebody help me 
identify that earlier, it would 

749
00:43:25,500 --> 00:43:27,600
have helped. 
What do you think on that one? 

750
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:29,200
Vicki? 
I agree with completely. 

751
00:43:29,200 --> 00:43:31,000
It's a process of like trial and
error. 

752
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,400
If you're doing it for yourself.
You have to figure out. 

753
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:34,900
Okay. 
Well What am I doing? 

754
00:43:34,900 --> 00:43:37,100
Why am I doing this? 
And is identifying what you 

755
00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:39,100
need? 
But having someone, if you're a 

756
00:43:39,100 --> 00:43:42,000
parent to just kind of work 
through it with you and say, 

757
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,600
look, what do you do when you 
come home? 

758
00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:47,500
Let's on picket. 
Let's have a sit down and think 

759
00:43:47,600 --> 00:43:51,800
what do you need in order to 
help you do your homework or in 

760
00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,000
order to help you get a few more
spoons? 

761
00:43:55,100 --> 00:43:57,000
I think it's, that's a great 
idea. 

762
00:43:57,000 --> 00:44:01,700
And it is really helpful because
I could recognize how I was 

763
00:44:01,700 --> 00:44:03,700
feeling. 
I knew that I was sad or I was 

764
00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:07,000
happy. 
P, but my issue was I couldn't 

765
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,800
Express that, so I would feel it
but I didn't know how to tell 

766
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:15,900
someone this is how I'm feeling.
So a lot of the time I would 

767
00:44:15,900 --> 00:44:19,800
write letters to people because 
that was my way of figuring it 

768
00:44:19,800 --> 00:44:22,100
out. 
And what my parents would do. 

769
00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:26,900
My mum would write letters back 
to me which I loved I'd say, 

770
00:44:26,900 --> 00:44:29,100
look, I'm really sorry that I 
shouted at you. 

771
00:44:29,100 --> 00:44:31,800
I've been really upset. 
I've had a bad day and she would

772
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:33,600
write a letter back saying, 
look. 

773
00:44:34,100 --> 00:44:39,100
Understand that school is making
you anxious and I'd be like 

774
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,800
school is making me anxious. 
She's right. 

775
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:45,400
And she had picked up on stuff 
that I didn't realize, which can

776
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:47,800
be, which was for me, really, 
really helpful. 

777
00:44:47,900 --> 00:44:52,200
So I was able to express how I 
was feeling but I was also able 

778
00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:56,800
to learn what was going on, 
which then me and my mom were 

779
00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:58,200
able to figure out. 
Okay. 

780
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,500
This is what is actually 
happening and this is what you 

781
00:45:00,500 --> 00:45:04,200
need. 
Oh my gosh, that is so 

782
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:05,900
brilliant. 
I love that. 

783
00:45:05,900 --> 00:45:08,500
I love that. 
Oh, that is so good. 

784
00:45:09,200 --> 00:45:12,600
And I think, you know, speaking 
is as a mom. 

785
00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:18,500
I had to be aware of my own 
needs. 

786
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:25,100
In order to show up and help my 
children, navigate their needs 

787
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,600
and that was one of the things 
that made a big shift in our 

788
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:34,000
household because I wasn't 
Snappy and I wasn't impatient. 

789
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:38,100
And I wasn't yelling and I 
because I hate yelling but I had

790
00:45:38,100 --> 00:45:41,500
turned into a yeller because I 
was so burned out, I was so 

791
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,700
frustrated and my needs were 
going on that. 

792
00:45:43,700 --> 00:45:48,800
So long, I had been denying and 
suppressing them trying to put 

793
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,400
perform this list of things that
I was supposed to quote unquote,

794
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,300
be doing and I wasn't playing 
and I wasn't having fun and I 

795
00:45:56,308 --> 00:45:58,600
wasn't self caring and I wasn't 
doing anything. 

796
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:00,900
I was doing all the stuff for 
everybody else. 

797
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:03,700
I thought I was supposed to be 
doing and guys, just so, you 

798
00:46:03,700 --> 00:46:07,200
know, your house does not have 
to be like showroom. 

799
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:09,500
Perfect. 
You do not have all your laundry

800
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:15,900
done. 
Ah, that is relatable. 

801
00:46:15,900 --> 00:46:18,100
Every time we have someone come 
around to the house. 

802
00:46:18,100 --> 00:46:21,900
My mom is Ways everyone quick. 
Now, tidy the house type of the 

803
00:46:21,900 --> 00:46:25,400
house, but you live in this 
house. 

804
00:46:25,600 --> 00:46:29,000
It's lived. 
It people aren't going to expect

805
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:34,100
it to be spotless with those 
that old broken societal norm 

806
00:46:34,100 --> 00:46:37,000
and societal belief that you 
know, we've ascribed to 

807
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,000
somewhere along the generations.
Our grandparents told our 

808
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,700
parents. 
Our parents are telling us 

809
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,300
you're being judged on how clean
your house is and that is 

810
00:46:46,300 --> 00:46:50,200
speaking to who you are and your
quality of Person and all this 

811
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:54,200
kind of unspoken stuff that 
nobody talks about guys. 

812
00:46:54,200 --> 00:46:57,400
If I go to somebody's house. 
I am not going to see how clean 

813
00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,300
their houses. 
I'm not walking around with a 

814
00:46:59,308 --> 00:47:01,200
white glove. 
Checking the baseboards. 

815
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,100
I mean, come on, my mother would
go bananas for like, oh my gosh,

816
00:47:05,100 --> 00:47:08,500
it has to look like a museum, 
you know, don't touch anything. 

817
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:10,900
Everything has to be clean and 
everything is in its place, and 

818
00:47:10,900 --> 00:47:14,000
there's no clutter and, you 
know, that's really nice and you

819
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,300
have a place for your I'd 
arrest. 

820
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:19,900
But the, the stress to maintain 
that, it's just Horrible, and I 

821
00:47:19,908 --> 00:47:22,200
don't go see somebody's house. 
I go see them. 

822
00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:25,200
Remember that, somebody's there 
to see you, not your house and 

823
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:27,800
if they're there and they have 
their tacky enough to say 

824
00:47:27,800 --> 00:47:30,700
something about the quality or 
or the state of your house. 

825
00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:35,900
That is not your person that saw
that. 

826
00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:40,000
Not you. 
And the thing is with, with that

827
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,100
with every set of taking time 
for yourself. 

828
00:47:42,100 --> 00:47:45,300
It's setting boundaries. 
I know for me. 

829
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,100
As a university student. 
I live with my parents and my 

830
00:47:49,100 --> 00:47:51,100
husband and we have a four year 
old. 

831
00:47:51,200 --> 00:47:54,500
So I have to Thermal 8 set my 
boundaries. 

832
00:47:55,100 --> 00:47:58,300
I have to say look. 
This is my study time. 

833
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,600
This is when I am unavailable 
because that is my boundary. 

834
00:48:03,300 --> 00:48:07,400
So it's hard when there's so 
much else going on and you do 

835
00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:10,800
need to study so setting that 
boundary and that time for 

836
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,000
yourself to actually get your 
work done is really helpful. 

837
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,800
That is a really good one. 
I'm like you we are living in a 

838
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:24,100
multi-generational multifamily. 
Existence right now, you know, 

839
00:48:24,100 --> 00:48:28,500
we moved to Colorado and we 
build a house and are said I 

840
00:48:28,508 --> 00:48:30,600
don't want to live here. 
This isn't for me. 

841
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,500
We moved cross-country to 
Kentucky. 

842
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:38,200
And so we're all living together
while we're finding property 

843
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:41,200
while we're waiting to build 
houses because the cost of 

844
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,300
construction materials is 
ridiculous right now. 

845
00:48:44,500 --> 00:48:47,800
Because of all of the worldwide 
factors over the last two years.

846
00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:52,600
So in that, you know, you've got
more noise than if it's just you

847
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,100
and your spouse or just you and 
your kids, you've got more 

848
00:48:56,400 --> 00:49:00,900
personalities and people and 
things to navigate, and it is so

849
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,900
important to be able to set 
those boundaries for yourself, 

850
00:49:05,100 --> 00:49:08,500
to make sure that you've got 
things in place that help you, 

851
00:49:08,500 --> 00:49:11,900
restore your energy, even in 
your own home environment. 

852
00:49:12,100 --> 00:49:13,600
And to make sure you're 
commuting. 

853
00:49:14,300 --> 00:49:17,300
Katie goes with the people that 
you live with. 

854
00:49:17,300 --> 00:49:20,900
It's really really important 
because it's not just about your

855
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:23,900
boundaries in your restoration. 
It's also making sure and 

856
00:49:23,900 --> 00:49:27,300
helping those that live with you
get theirs and set there's two. 

857
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,300
Sometimes, not everybody knows 
how to do that. 

858
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:34,200
It's a learned skill. 
And that thought is and once 

859
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,600
you've set your boundaries and 
other people no, look she's not 

860
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:41,000
available at this time. 
You can set up your own routine,

861
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,400
especially like for going back 
to school after the summer 

862
00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:48,100
having like a plan, like a 
detailed plan and having a 

863
00:49:48,100 --> 00:49:52,300
routine ready to kind of get 
back into, is really helpful. 

864
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,100
Yeah. 
My youngest son. 

865
00:49:55,100 --> 00:49:58,300
Start school back on, August the
night and he and I were talking 

866
00:49:58,300 --> 00:50:00,400
yesterday. 
And I said, okay. 

867
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,100
Have you gotten your schedule 
yet? 

868
00:50:03,200 --> 00:50:06,900
Do you know what your classes 
are and where they are, you 

869
00:50:06,900 --> 00:50:09,900
know, he's going to be a junior 
and so Heat. 

870
00:50:09,900 --> 00:50:11,500
This is a school. 
He's been going to for three 

871
00:50:11,500 --> 00:50:13,400
years. 
So he knows where everything is.

872
00:50:13,700 --> 00:50:17,200
It's that it, you know, it was 
just one of those things and I'm

873
00:50:17,200 --> 00:50:18,500
like, hey, you know, what are 
you doing? 

874
00:50:18,500 --> 00:50:21,200
He's like, well, I'm about to go
to the movies with some friends.

875
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,700
I'm like, okay, that's great. 
You know, have you gotten your 

876
00:50:24,700 --> 00:50:27,700
supply list to go ahead and 
start planning us it because, 

877
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:33,300
you know, this is August 1st, 
and you've Nine days to start 

878
00:50:33,300 --> 00:50:36,200
getting ready. 
And I said A week is a good bit 

879
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,300
of time. 
You know I said because if you 

880
00:50:38,300 --> 00:50:41,100
start doing just a little bit 
just break it down. 

881
00:50:41,100 --> 00:50:43,700
I just do a little bit one thing
each day. 

882
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:46,800
It's going to be a lot easier 
than you trying to cram it all 

883
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:51,100
in to the night before and you 
know, Mom Dad and grandparents 

884
00:50:51,100 --> 00:50:54,300
don't want to run you to the 
Dollar General when everything's

885
00:50:54,300 --> 00:50:57,700
bought out already the night 
before school starts. 

886
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:03,000
Because, you know, that's one of
those things that's like when 

887
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:07,000
you say, I can't do it for him 
because I wouldn't be helping, I

888
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,600
would be creating a bigger 
thing, but I can help him by 

889
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:13,400
saying, let's structure this out
and break it down because you 

890
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:16,000
are now responsible for doing 
these things. 

891
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,300
And I don't make him responsible
for everything at once. 

892
00:51:18,300 --> 00:51:21,900
I add one thing at a time and I 
let him get comfortable with it.

893
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,700
You got to do the same thing 
with yourself. 

894
00:51:23,900 --> 00:51:26,400
I agree. 
I think doing it step by step. 

895
00:51:26,600 --> 00:51:30,000
He's really helpful the idea of 
To get the night before, which 

896
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:35,200
terrifies, me Vicky your tips, 
your insights, all the beautiful

897
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:38,600
things that you have shared. 
Thank you so much for them. 

898
00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:42,600
Thank you for taking your 
knowledge, and your experience 

899
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,400
and sharing it with everybody 
today. 

900
00:51:45,700 --> 00:51:49,300
So just so everybody knows. 
This is Vicki, third appearance 

901
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:52,500
on the talk show. 
She is the most visited guest. 

902
00:51:54,100 --> 00:51:55,300
I love it. 
I love it. 

903
00:51:55,300 --> 00:51:56,700
I love it. 
Vicki. 

904
00:51:56,700 --> 00:52:01,900
I am a huge fan. 
What you do and how you do it. 

905
00:52:02,500 --> 00:52:06,600
I love you and your podcast and 
everything you do so much and I 

906
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:10,600
absolutely love that. 
It's been a discussion, hasn't 

907
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,300
it? 
We've been back and forwards, 

908
00:52:12,300 --> 00:52:15,700
but it's been really nice to 
just have like a free-flowing 

909
00:52:16,300 --> 00:52:18,700
conversation. 
And as you've said things, I 

910
00:52:18,700 --> 00:52:20,700
thought, oh, yeah. 
I just thought something. 

911
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,700
And it's been really, really 
lovely. 

912
00:52:22,700 --> 00:52:25,300
And I really hope that someone 
out there. 

913
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,300
Find this helpful me too, 
because one of the purposes This

914
00:52:29,300 --> 00:52:32,000
whole segment for the month of 
August for back-to-school is 

915
00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,700
that we're not just giving you 
some rubber meets the road, kind

916
00:52:35,700 --> 00:52:39,000
of things to help yourself. 
If you're a parent student or a 

917
00:52:39,008 --> 00:52:42,300
teacher. 
We're also speaking to you, my 

918
00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:46,000
lady identified friend, because 
there's healing in 

919
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:49,200
understanding, some things and 
some forgiveness. 

920
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:53,600
And some letting go of those 
false limiting really broken 

921
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:56,200
narrative believes that we had 
in school. 

922
00:52:56,500 --> 00:52:59,800
So even if just listening to 
this conversation as Just, it's 

923
00:52:59,800 --> 00:53:02,700
just you, but your use you all 
by yourself. 

924
00:53:02,700 --> 00:53:04,900
It's okay. 
That's it's here for you. 

925
00:53:04,900 --> 00:53:08,400
Because part of this is that 
you're learning things. 

926
00:53:08,400 --> 00:53:12,300
More about yourself, as you're 
discovering, what autism is in 

927
00:53:12,300 --> 00:53:14,800
your life and what are being 
autistic needs to you? 

928
00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:16,600
Because it's different for each 
person. 

929
00:53:16,900 --> 00:53:20,500
And I hope that hearing some of 
these things is helping you to 

930
00:53:20,500 --> 00:53:25,600
recognize become aware and to 
let go and to forgive, and to 

931
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,300
have some Grace and compassion 
for yourself. 

932
00:53:29,100 --> 00:53:30,500
Thanks for being here. 
Vicki. 

933
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:32,700
Thanks for being here with us 
this week. 

934
00:53:32,700 --> 00:53:34,900
Next week. 
I have Mara Rose from sassy 

935
00:53:34,900 --> 00:53:37,400
artistic pineapple girl, and 
we're going to be talking about 

936
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,500
some amazing things that happen 
in the classroom from stemming 

937
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:44,700
to eye contact and how as a 
student and a teacher and a 

938
00:53:44,700 --> 00:53:49,400
parent, we can all come together
to embrace the things that help 

939
00:53:49,400 --> 00:53:53,500
regulate all neuro types. 
See you next week. 

940
00:53:56,100 --> 00:53:59,500
If you are someone who likes to 
help people and share what has 

941
00:53:59,500 --> 00:54:02,700
made a difference in your life, 
please share this talk show with

942
00:54:02,700 --> 00:54:06,000
a friend and on your social 
media accounts so that you can 

943
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,700
be the blessing in another late 
identified autistics life. 

944
00:54:10,100 --> 00:54:12,800
Be sure to tag me. 
It's social Audie so I can 

945
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:17,700
personally say thank you and to 
help keep the talkshow ad-free. 

946
00:54:17,900 --> 00:54:21,700
Please consider becoming a 
one-time or recurring supporter 

947
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,800
through either buy me a coffee 
or the anchor podcast links. 

948
00:54:25,900 --> 00:54:30,300
He's in the show notes below. 
I truly appreciate your support.

949
00:54:30,300 --> 00:54:33,700
Thank you for being a listener 
and thank you for adding your 

950
00:54:33,700 --> 00:54:35,300
voice to our story.