1 00:00:06,110 --> 00:00:09,030 Hello and welcome back to Home and Hosting with me, Louis 2 00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:10,510 Burke. I hope you've been well. 3 00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,190 Now to jump straight into the episode. 4 00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:15,910 I've been getting so many DMS about hosting, not just about 5 00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:18,390 setting a beautiful table, because apparently we've covered 6 00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:21,240 the table now, but I've still got some more planned for the 7 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,360 next couple of weeks, so get excited about that. 8 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:25,440 But we do know we need to have a tablecloth. 9 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:27,600 We know about the water and wine glasses. 10 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,360 We know about flowers and how they can't just be stuck in a 11 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,880 vase and called a day. We know the fork goes on the 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,120 left and the knife goes on the right facing the plate. 13 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,240 And no, there better not be any chopped cushions. 14 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,520 Insight But people have been asking more about the actual 15 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,920 hosting part, like how do you run the night? 16 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,000 What do you do first? How do you make people feel 17 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,520 comfortable? How do you make your home feel 18 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,200 special without acting like you're managing A boutique hotel 19 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,440 with a clipboard? And I mean, it makes sense that 20 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,640 people are asking now because all over the globe we are having 21 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,720 a hosting moment. Like, if you're in the Northern 22 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:01,120 Hemisphere, it's summer, so people are having people over 23 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,239 outside doing those long lunches, the garden dinners, the 24 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:07,480 sport previews like Wimbledon, there's barbecues, birthday 25 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,880 celebrations, pretending that they casually live beside that 26 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,120 Nancy Meyers film with better tomatoes. 27 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:15,600 And then if you're in the Southern Hemisphere like me, 28 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:18,000 we're in that cosy winter hosting mode. 29 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,160 Like the lamps are on, the candles are lit, something warm 30 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,840 in the oven, and people are coming over for an intimate 31 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,840 dinner because going outside after 6:00 PM just feels like a 32 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,040 personal attack. So whether you're hosting 33 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:32,080 outside in summer or inside for a cosy winter night, the 34 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:36,080 question is still the same. How do you make it feel good? 35 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:40,280 Because a beautiful table is chic, but a table doesn't host 36 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:44,600 the dinner you do. So what makes a chic host? 37 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,480 Because that table sets the scene. 38 00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,960 But the atmosphere, the flow, the music, the lighting, the 39 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:53,240 bathroom, the drinks, the little moments when people feel looked 40 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:57,360 after, that's the hosting. That's what you want more of, 41 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,200 and I'm here to give it to you now. 42 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,480 A lot of the things I know about hosting come from growing up 43 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,640 around hospitality in our family restaurant, Leaves and Fishes. 44 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,160 And I also managed our second restaurant and vineyard, Black 45 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,720 Creek Farm, back in the day. If you remember and were 46 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:16,280 visiting there, that was a great time in my early 20s. 47 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,040 When you've spent years around tables, guests, bathrooms, 48 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:23,280 flowers, music, people arriving late, people arriving early, 49 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,960 someone needing another drink, someone's art asking for hot 50 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,880 water and lemon, you really start to realise that hosting is 51 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:32,800 less about perfection and more just about paying attention. 52 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,080 It's about clocking that empty glass, the bathroom candle 53 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,560 that's gone out, the music that has somehow turned into a 54 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,000 nightclub remix, the person hovering near the kitchen island 55 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,200 because they don't know where to put their bag or glass, or 56 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,280 there's a guest who looks like they you really need a job, a 57 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,440 drink, or to be introduced to someone immediately that's 58 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,720 hosting. It's not walking around with a 59 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,280 clipboard like you're managing a wedding venue and telling your 60 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,280 partner off. It's just about being switched 61 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,640 on enough that the night keeps moving and people feel looked 62 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,920 after. So today I want to talk about 63 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,920 the hidden gems, the little hosting things that actually 64 00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:12,200 make a night feel special, not the obvious buy flowers advice. 65 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,800 You know to buy flowers by now and you're listening to this 66 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,280 podcast. I trust that you can locate a 67 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,200 really beautiful bars. So this is more about how to run 68 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,680 the evening, how to make it feel stylish, relaxed, warm and a 69 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:26,000 little bit special without everyone feeling like they've 70 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:29,200 entered a performance piece called Please compliment my home 71 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,720 and tablescape because it's about the balance, isn't it? 72 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,880 You want it to feel considered but not stiff and polished but 73 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,600 not precious, Special but not so special that everyone is scared 74 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:42,680 to put their fork down. So without further ado, let's 75 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:47,640 get into it. So before you do anything, put 76 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,840 the music on. And I mean it. 77 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,480 Before you start styling the table, before you start cleaning 78 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:54,720 the nibbles, before you start spiralling over whether the 79 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,880 napkins look too casual, put the music on. 80 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,600 The music makes the house feel like the event has already 81 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,160 started. It stops that horrible awkward 82 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,000 silence if someone arrives early. 83 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,360 And honestly, it keeps you calm while you work. 84 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,080 At least it should. Hosting in silence is where 85 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,160 panic lives. Put on something warm, 86 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,839 cinematic, a bit Nancy Meyers, something that feels like 87 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:21,079 someone is about to pour wine in a linen shirt and make a roast 88 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,120 chicken they somehow didn't find stressful. 89 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,560 Not the top 50 hits, not a nightclub remix, not something 90 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:30,440 that makes your home feel like a shopping centre change room. 91 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:33,680 Just music that says we're having people over and we're not 92 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,880 losing our minds about it. And now I know I bang on about 93 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,000 Nancy Meyers. But there is a good reason. 94 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,520 Because that woman understands atmosphere. 95 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,160 The kitchen is always glowing, someone is always pouring a 96 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,280 glass of wine, and it's probably a bowl of lemon somewhere, doing 97 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,520 more than most people's entire kitchen renovation. 98 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,640 And the music always feels warm and easy. 99 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,360 In all of her films, that's what you want. 100 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:58,400 You want the music that fills the space without taking over 101 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,080 the space. Backgroundy but not boring. 102 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,160 Warm but not sleepy. Stylish but not so obscure that 103 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,120 everyone feels like they've accidentally walked into a 104 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,960 concept store in Copenhagen. Because we don't want Duff Duff 105 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,320 Club music. We don't want music that people 106 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,480 are going to start really screaming at the top of their 107 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,480 lungs if they have a little bit too much to drink. 108 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,320 At least not early on at the event, am I right? 109 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,440 And unless the whole point of the gathering is to watch 110 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:27,520 something like the Australian Open or Wimbledon, the TV does 111 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,360 not need to be blaring sport in the open living area. 112 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,400 I know this may upset some people, but I'm not about having 113 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,920 sports screaming through the main entertaining space while 114 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,560 I'm trying to create an atmosphere. 115 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:41,040 Put it in another room, let the sport people go and be with 116 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:42,880 their people. Or put it in a projector 117 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,240 outside. It looks so chic. 118 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,120 They can have their little room or their little section out of 119 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,760 the courtyard with the snacks, the little scoreboard. 120 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,480 It's gorgeous for them. But the main space should feel 121 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,840 like a home, not a pub with better cushions. 122 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,240 If you're hosting for the Australian Open or the Grand 123 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,400 Final or whatever it is, then fine. 124 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,960 That is the time and place. Make it the point. 125 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,080 Lean into it, do it properly. But if you're having people ever 126 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,400 for dinner, the TV is not the host, so turn it off. 127 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,960 Once the music is on, the next thing I would do is the 128 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,600 bathroom. Before the table, before the 129 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:18,440 nibbles, before the flowers. Check the bathroom. 130 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,680 This is so important because the bathroom is the one room guests 131 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,160 usually go to alone. At least they should be going 132 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,440 alone. I don't know what kind of party 133 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:28,240 you're hosting, but if it's where people go to collect their 134 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:31,400 thoughts, they check their hair, they wash their hands, and they 135 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,520 clock absolutely everything in that moment of silence. 136 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,160 They might not notice the cobweb in the corner of the living 137 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,840 room, but they will notice the dust on the toilet lid. 138 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,920 They will notice the hair in the sink. 139 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,880 They'll notice if the hand wash is empty and they'll also notice 140 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,960 if there's no hand towel and they have to do that awful 141 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,200 little wet handshake like they've just left a public 142 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,400 bathroom at a train station. You're not doing that. 143 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,280 So whether you have a powder room, a full bathroom, a tiny 144 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:58,120 bathroom, a rental bathroom, whatever it is, it just needs to 145 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:00,720 feel fresh, clean and considered. 146 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:04,600 Clean the mirror, wipe the sink, check the toilet, put out fresh 147 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,880 toilet paper, empty the bin, put nice hand wash in there, light a 148 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,840 candle if it's safe to do so. And my favourite little detail 149 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,480 is you can grab some paper hand towels and put them on a tray. 150 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:18,680 It's my mom's go to and everyone always says it's so chic. 151 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,320 I mean who knew giving people an individual little towel to dry 152 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,000 their hands makes the world of difference? 153 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,800 Which admittedly is kind of hilarious because it is the 154 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:31,160 paper towel that you'd literally stick on that unit on the wall. 155 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,680 But instead of having it in a plastic unit stuck on a wall, 156 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,600 you put it on a tray and it instantly just feels chic and 157 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,680 elevated. And the bathroom doesn't need to 158 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,640 be renovated, it doesn't need to be marble. 159 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,800 It doesn't need to have a $400.00 hand wash. 160 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,800 Although obviously I'm not against that as a concept, but 161 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:48,080 it does need to feel looked after. 162 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:52,440 The bathroom is that small room with the big opinion, so respect 163 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:54,520 it and check it again during the night. 164 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,560 Not every 5 minutes like you're guarding the crown jewels, but 165 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,560 once or twice. Just make sure the hand towels 166 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:02,640 are still in there, the candle is still safe, the bin isn't too 167 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,640 tragic and there isn't, you know, toilet paper all over the 168 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:06,480 floor. I don't know. 169 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,000 I don't know how wild your parties get. 170 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,240 I just need to clarify and mention everything. 171 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,960 We also want to make sure that there's a spare toilet roll 172 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:16,240 insight because we don't want people going looking for one. 173 00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,720 After the bathroom, we're going to move into the front of the 174 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:21,360 house. So head outside and open the 175 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,400 gate, Turn on the porch and garden lights if it's the 176 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,400 evening because there's just nothing more romantic and says 177 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,720 I'm home than having outdoor lights shining on the House and 178 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:34,919 garden. You want to clear the entry, you 179 00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:37,600 want to make sure people know where to park, and you want to 180 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,880 make sure people can actually arrive without a feeling like 181 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:41,840 they're breaking and entering into your house. 182 00:08:42,039 --> 00:08:46,320 This is such a simple thing, but it really makes the difference 183 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,640 because imagine it, you're arriving, you've just parked, 184 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,360 you're walking in, you can hear music in the distance, the 185 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,640 lights are on. It feels special. 186 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,280 It already feels that the event is happening versus the reverse 187 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,720 of this is it's kind of dark, the sun setting. 188 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,720 It was really awkward to try and find a car park. 189 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:05,480 I had to text you to find out where the best place to park 190 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,400 was. I go through the gate, but none 191 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,840 of the lights are on and there's no music playing, so I'm not 192 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,520 even sure if this is the right house or whether I should be 193 00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,680 going in. You can feel the difference. 194 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:19,280 The arrival really matters. It just sets the tone for the 195 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,960 evening and the house needs to feel like new people were 196 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,760 coming. That's the easiest way that I 197 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,520 can explain it. Then we need to think about the 198 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,520 entry. Where are people putting the 199 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,080 coats? Where are they putting their 200 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,080 bags and where are they putting the bottle of wine that they've 201 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:35,040 brought? And where are they going once 202 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:38,200 they step inside? People need somewhere to land, 203 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,680 otherwise they hover in the hallway holding wine like a lost 204 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,080 uncle. And I say this with love, but 205 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,040 guess are simple creatures. Give them light, give them some 206 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,680 music, give them somewhere to put their bag, give them a 207 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:52,560 drink, point them towards a crisp and they will be fine. 208 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,840 If you have a particular spot in mind where you'd like people to 209 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,680 gather, you can mention it to people. 210 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,240 You can say, hey, so I think we're going to have drinks out 211 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,840 here. I've got some nibbles already 212 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,920 outside, so feel free to go head over there. 213 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,640 I'm just going to finish up a few things in the kitchen and 214 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,040 then I'll see you in a second and then people are like, right, 215 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,240 I'll go over here or go, I've got some nibbles over here. 216 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:14,080 You're welcome to take a seat on the sofa. 217 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:16,600 What would anyone like to drink? I'll be over in a second. 218 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,720 I'm just finishing this up. And then you call someone else 219 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,880 over and they can greet and meet everyone. 220 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,480 Naturally, some people are going to follow you into the kitchen 221 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,960 as you prep different nibbles and different sections. 222 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,280 But already it feels more welcoming because there are 223 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,120 people in different zones throughout the home versus 224 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,520 everyone huddled in the hallway or one awkward spot that you 225 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:39,000 just don't picture to be the spot to graze and chat and catch 226 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,920 UO. Let's step back for a second. 227 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:45,640 The music is on, the doors open, the lights are on outside, the 228 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,960 kitchen is clean. Now we need to think about 229 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,920 lighting. Most of us know now with social 230 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,800 media that overhead lighting is where atmosphere goes to die. 231 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,480 You want low, warm layered light. 232 00:10:56,600 --> 00:11:00,480 Lamps, candles, wall lights, string lights, little pools of 233 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,080 light around the room at different heights. 234 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:05,720 Portable lamps are such a good hosting trick. 235 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:08,840 They add warmth and a shape without needing to rewire the 236 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,360 whole house and pretend you're suddenly an electrician. 237 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,040 I like those little cute Bistro style ones like Addison Ross. 238 00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:18,320 They have really cute bamboo style lamps with shades or they 239 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,600 have the more content temporary style bobbin shapes. 240 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,640 Little decorative lamps that feel collected, not the 241 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,720 corporate lounge version that looks like it belongs beside a 242 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,600 hotel buffet. We need the little lamps to do 243 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:31,440 their job and not look like you've picked them up from 244 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:32,920 Alibaba. Even if you have picked them up 245 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:36,760 from Alibaba Aliexpress, they do have amazing outdoor and indoor 246 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:38,640 portable lamps. But just make sure it feels 247 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,680 considered and it matches the style of your home. 248 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,480 So just think if you have some wall sconces, flick them on. 249 00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,320 If you have a standing lamp, flick it on. 250 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:49,440 If you have some on a bedside or a counter or a console put goes 251 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,120 on to and then grab some portable lamps and put them in 252 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,760 spots where you feel like it needs it. 253 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:57,560 Say like the kitchen area, the bathroom, anywhere that you feel 254 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:00,600 like feels a bit dull and usually requires an overhead 255 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,840 light. Stick a portable lamp in there 256 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,240 instead and make sure they're all charged the night before. 257 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,480 Now heading out the back of the house, if you have a courtyard 258 00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:10,560 space, I recommend picking up some string lights. 259 00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:14,400 Not in a way where it kind of feels like a beer garden. 260 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,880 Like I don't want it to give beer garden, I want it to give 261 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,520 wedding. Like if you can buy some little 262 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:21,280 paper lanterns to stick over the top. 263 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,040 It's so romantic and cute. And it's the only kind of 264 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,760 overhead lighting where you look at this and go, God, I look so 265 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,960 good under these lights when the music's playing. 266 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:32,840 It's such a nice setting. If you have an outdoor space. 267 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,680 And the string lights don't cost that much money these days. 268 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,560 Like it's fantastic. You can grab them at Bunnings or 269 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:42,160 your hardware store or again on like a Timu or whatever. 270 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,000 So the big lights are turned off, we've put the lamps on, 271 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,080 we've lit the candles and everyone can relax. 272 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:51,200 So now we move on to the arrival station. 273 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:54,800 This is where the island bench console or sideboard or whatever 274 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:58,240 you have becomes really useful. I like an island bench to act 275 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,640 like a drink station and a nibble stopover when people 276 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:03,200 arrive. Drinks glasses, maybe a little 277 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,120 garnish and we're feeling alive. And a few nibbles to people can 278 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,560 help themselves too. It just gives somewhere for 279 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:11,240 people to go and make a drink. I think it's nice somewhere 280 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,160 people make their own drinks and a chat versus you making the 281 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:15,520 drinks. I don't know, sometimes it can 282 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,480 feel a bit awkward, but you do you. 283 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,440 It means when someone walks in, you're not just saying put that 284 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,120 anywhere, which is one of those phrases that sounds relaxed, but 285 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,960 it's actually deeply unhelpful because they have no idea where 286 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:28,000 to put anything. They're like anywhere, Where is 287 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,560 anywhere? Am I putting this wine on the 288 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,080 floor? Am I putting it on part of the 289 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:33,840 furniture? People need a place to go. 290 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,400 Give the evening a beginning. I feel like sometimes we want to 291 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,800 be like, yeah, anything will do. People are looking for 292 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:42,720 direction. If you've seen my content, like 293 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,040 hello, that bed making video, it's sitting on millions of 294 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,480 views now because people just want direction. 295 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:49,800 They love a sense of, yeah, we're just going to put it here. 296 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,800 People are like, oh, thank God I didn't have to think. 297 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,480 And I think that's what makes a great host. 298 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,640 The people who are coming over don't have to think. 299 00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,960 It's all just done. And if they have a question, 300 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,080 it's answered straight away. So have those drinks ready, have 301 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,000 the glasses out, have a water option, have something to eat. 302 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,240 And it doesn't need to be a dramatic grazing table. 303 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,680 In fact, please be careful with the grazing table. 304 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,600 Sometimes it's a little less weightless abundance and a 305 00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,120 little more a deli has had a breakdown and I better not be 306 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:20,880 seeing any chocolate or lollies on a charcuterie board. 307 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,720 It's just strange. I don't understand, why are we, 308 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,600 why are we adding chocolate and lollies to the savoury board? 309 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,600 Like we're about to have dinner guys? 310 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:33,880 Like, no, a few good things are better than 47 average things. 311 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,280 And this is where I think people can step away from the usual 312 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,720 nibble style. Like I love a cheese board, of 313 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,480 course I do. I'm not here to start a national 314 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,680 debate. But not every gathering needs is 315 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,640 to have a cracker and a dip situation. 316 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,400 Sometimes the thing that makes people say if this feels chic is 317 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,520 doing slightly a little unexpected. 318 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:53,080 Like sushi for example. Gorgeous, easy people love it. 319 00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:56,080 It feels considered and it's not just a supermarket cracker 320 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,600 begging for help. And you can do variable options. 321 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,880 Not all of it has to be seafood. You can do chicken, you can do 322 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:03,240 veg. Like there's so many different 323 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,240 options and it looks very cute. Or even little Vietnamese noodle 324 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,800 rolls. Amazing. 325 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,080 Now the point is to not make it complicated. 326 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,880 The point is just not to do the same sad nibble spread every 327 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:14,400 single time. You want to make a night feel a 328 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,640 little more special, especially if you have a friend group where 329 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,560 you're all catching up and going over to each other's houses. 330 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:21,080 You don't want to have the same starter everywhere you go. 331 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,880 Even just changing the format can make it feel fresh. 332 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,320 If you're doing crackers and cheese, fine, but arrange it 333 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,360 properly. Give some hide, Give the board 334 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,400 something where it makes sense. Don't unwrap things and hope the 335 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,480 Brie will just carry the evening emotionally. 336 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:36,480 Now while people are arriving and having a drink, I love 337 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,560 having the table made off in the distance. 338 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:42,040 That to me is such a little, you know, special treat. 339 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,640 People walk in, they get a drink, they have a nibble, and 340 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,040 then they can see the table set further into the room. 341 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:51,040 And that creates anticipation like, oh, we're doing something 342 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,600 tonight. There's a moment coming. 343 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,200 The whole house starts to feel like it has a rhythm. 344 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:58,200 Arrival here, drinks here, table there. 345 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,000 Dinner is coming. Which is also where you can have 346 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,040 a higher tall flower arrangement. 347 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,320 You know, where people always like, oh, I can't see the person 348 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:09,320 across the table from me. But because the table, not 349 00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,760 everything is glued to the table, guys, we can move the 350 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:14,320 arrangements around around. If anything, the table should be 351 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:17,600 moving with the night. Like we start off with the 352 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:20,240 flowers on the table, then we move it over to the buffet. 353 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,440 Everyone sits down and has a chat, then we move things off 354 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,800 the table. Then we might play a couple of 355 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,440 card games or something like that. 356 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,760 You know, the table moves with the evening and that's what you 357 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,640 want and what you need, quite frankly. 358 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,760 Because then you don't have to announce everything like you're 359 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,600 hosting a school assembly. The room and the table is 360 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,200 already telling people what's happening and where things are 361 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:41,880 going to go. Now, Speaking of the table, 362 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:44,280 obviously I love a good table, but I do want to say this 363 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,160 clearly. The table doesn't need to have 364 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,080 so much stuff on it. Sometimes people can overdo it 365 00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,680 with the table because they think more equals more. 366 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,680 More candles, more flowers, more plates, more little objects and 367 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,840 trinkets or napkin rings. You know, more things that 368 00:16:57,840 --> 00:16:59,320 people just don't know what to do with. 369 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,680 And then suddenly the table looks like a homeware store 370 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,200 that's exploded and no one can really see the person across 371 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,119 from them or know what to do with themselves. 372 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,560 It's kind of the same as when a bed has too many cushions on it. 373 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:11,760 We don't need all of that. The table needs intention. 374 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:16,040 It needs things to do and serve a purpose and also look good. 375 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,040 Now something that I would say is my go to, like how a white T 376 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:23,839 shirt and jeans is your go to and your wardrobe I think is a 377 00:17:23,839 --> 00:17:27,040 tablecloth, A patterned tablecloth in particular, an 378 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,760 Indian block print tablecloth. I absolutely love them. 379 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,600 I get them on Etsy because there's so many different sizes 380 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:37,120 and shapes, round, rectangular, lots of different colours and 381 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:39,840 patterns, but it doesn't feel gimmicky or childlike. 382 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,320 It feels timeless and classic and suits so many different 383 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,880 styles of homes. And it also isn't crazy 384 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:49,080 expensive. And the main reason why I love 385 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:53,560 an Indian block tablecloth is because it makes any table look 386 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,280 incredible. No matter how much or little 387 00:17:56,280 --> 00:18:00,080 stuff is on it, it instantly gives that, oh, something's 388 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,360 happening on this table today. It just has that oomph factor. 389 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,640 And we haven't even put the plates down yet. 390 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,440 Like you can have plain plates, simple glassware, a few candles 391 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,120 and suddenly the table feels like it has a point of view. 392 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,400 That's the magic of a pattern tablecloth. 393 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,440 It does a lot of the work for you. 394 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,160 It's the quickest way to make a table look dressed without 395 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,840 overthinking every single object. 396 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,720 Now something I will say with colourful and pattern 397 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,280 tablecloths is that it does change quite quickly. 398 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,920 Like the style of it. Like I say, I love an Indian 399 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:35,720 block tablecloth now, but will I love one in 2-3 years time? 400 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,040 Who knows? I do. 401 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,120 I think that they are a classic when it comes to pattern and 402 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:43,520 colour, which is sometimes very hard to do. 403 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:48,720 But I think I prefer them over what else is in the market right 404 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,960 now because it's the same with the colourful dress with an 405 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,800 amazing card. You wear it once and then you're 406 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,120 kind of hesitant to wear it again because people remember 407 00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:58,600 it. That's why people always lean on 408 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:01,720 the neutrals and if you are going to go down the neutrals 409 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,760 and like really focus in on the texture because I get it, you 410 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,960 can get away with using a neutral thing again and again 411 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,240 and again versus the colourful moment that everyone remembers 412 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,600 from that one event. But you know what? 413 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:18,200 I think if we use the tablecloth enough, people can get used to 414 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:23,840 the idea that that same colour patterned tablecloth can act 415 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:27,600 like a neutral. I yeah, it's something that 416 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,960 maybe we all have to work through. 417 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,040 And, you know, I love a tablecloth. 418 00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,600 And I know some people still act like tablecloths are very formal 419 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,600 or old fashioned, and quite frankly, they're not. 420 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,560 They're just useful. They soften the table. 421 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:40,080 They add pattern, they hide whatever sad surfaces 422 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,960 underneath, and they make a dinner feel like a dinner or a 423 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,920 moment. A naked table can feel 424 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,520 beautiful, yes, But a tablecloth says I've made the effort, and I 425 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,680 really like that. Fabrics, textiles, it doesn't 426 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,240 matter what it is. It could be clothes, a jacket, a 427 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:58,400 tablecloth, A napkin, a rug, curtains. 428 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:03,840 They all add something. They always bring an element of 429 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:08,760 sophistication, an element of like effortlessness, something. 430 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:13,080 It's just always chic fabric and textiles wherever you can place 431 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,960 them, either on yourself or in your room. 432 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:19,120 They will always elevate any space and make it come to life 433 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:22,320 and feel more comfortable. Now, if you really want to jazz 434 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,320 things up, I love a good name tag. 435 00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,880 I know it's simple, but it works. 436 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,560 People like seeing and hearing their name. 437 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,800 It's the same as when you meet someone, if you can mention 438 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,280 their name two or three times within the conversation with a 439 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,320 feeling natural and organic, not only will you remember their 440 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,200 name, but they will walk away thinking that you're a lot more 441 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,840 friendly and they like you more. There's been psychology tests 442 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,160 around it. Like, look it up. 443 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,720 I promise. It just creates a personal 444 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,320 moment. It stops that awkward thing 445 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,920 where everyone stands around the table going, oh, where should I 446 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,120 see it? And then someone panics and ends 447 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,560 up next to the one person they've already spoken to about, 448 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,360 you know, for the last 40 minutes. 449 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,640 Name tags solve that. They give the evening structure. 450 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,640 Now you're not being controlling, you're just being 451 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,520 helpful. Well, maybe a little 452 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:08,240 controlling, but in a chic way. I do think there is a time and 453 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,720 place for a name tag. It doesn't have to be every 454 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,320 occasion because I get that sometimes we want to make things 455 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,360 feel loose and relaxed and invited. 456 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:17,400 Writing just depends on the occasion. 457 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,880 You know in yourself whether it's a name tag situation or 458 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,800 it's not a name tag situation. And I'll leave that one with 459 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:27,560 you. Now my unexpected table object 460 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:32,080 is a water jug. I know, thrilling, everyone calm 461 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,760 down. But people forget about the 462 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,640 water jug all the time. They do the wine, the cocktails, 463 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,000 the fun drink, whatever, and then the water is treated like a 464 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,680 sad afterthought from the kitchen. 465 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,440 Tap water deserves a really good vessel. 466 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,240 I like making it feel more special with a beautiful jug 467 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:49,480 like the department Paris one. It's practical, but it adds 468 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,640 shape and intention to the table. 469 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:54,360 It's also a visual cue, like when there is water on the 470 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,440 table, people will drink it, which I do think is important 471 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,600 when we are drinking alcohol and the weather is hot, you know, 472 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,240 it's nice to stay hydrated. And I feel like when the water 473 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,800 is on the table, you will drink it versus if you don't see it 474 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,320 anywhere, you'll just forget. Now, once we have the arrival 475 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,640 that's happening in the table set, we need to talk about the 476 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,840 food flow. This is one of my strongest 477 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,520 opinions and I've covered it before. 478 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:20,360 And yes, it's maybe very specific, but welcome to the 479 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,960 podcast. I love a buffet style dinner. 480 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,240 Not buffet as in stainless steel trays and a sneeze guard. 481 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,320 Calm down. I mean just serving the food 482 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,120 from the island or a console or kitchen bench or Cyborg, 483 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,280 whatever makes the most sense in your space. 484 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:39,320 And then people take their plate over to the table. 485 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:43,240 It just works so well. People serve themselves, they 486 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:46,600 chat while they plate up, they choose what they want, they take 487 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,560 the amount they want, and they can go back if they need. 488 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,600 And once everyone is seated, the conversation can actually 489 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,880 happen. Because one of my big biggest 490 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:58,480 dinner party pet hates is the constant passing. 491 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,880 You are mid conversation. You have just found your point 492 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,840 and you have something to say and you're going to say 493 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,400 something brilliant, obviously. And then someone goes, can you 494 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,160 pass the bread? Fine. 495 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:12,320 And then 30 seconds later can you pass the salad, then the 496 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,880 butter, then the bread again. And then someone else wants the 497 00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,640 dressing. And then suddenly the entire 498 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,000 table has become a logistics operation and no one has 499 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:20,640 finished a sentence in 12 minutes. 500 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,640 I just can't. I'm mid sentence. 501 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,080 Jeff, make a plate and let us all speak. 502 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,840 I'm not saying you can never put anything on the table. 503 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,520 Obviously some things are nice to share. 504 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:35,040 Bread, butter, maybe your salad, condiments, whatever works. 505 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:39,680 But if the entire meal requires a passing chain every 3 minutes, 506 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,880 I'm going to lose the will to host. 507 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:46,120 The other benefit of buffet style serving is it makes the 508 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:48,920 host feel calmer. You're not trying to plate a 509 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,680 restaurant style meal for eight people while everyone watches 510 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,640 you slowly unravel. Because unless you're actually a 511 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:58,200 chef, plating 8 individual portions is really as chic as 512 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,640 people think it is. I don't know anyone who's really 513 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,920 doing that, but they could be someone listening to things that 514 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,600 have to plate up everything individually. 515 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,840 In my mind it's either food is on the table and we have to pass 516 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,600 everything around, or food is on a buffet where we self serve and 517 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,440 then sit down. And I would rather deal with the 518 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,480 anxiety of going going up to get seconds then having people 519 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,440 constantly ask me to pass the salt and pepper. 520 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,000 So pick your poison. Family style or buffet style. 521 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,880 It feels just more relaxed, it's more generous, it's more home 522 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,520 and it gives people permission to eat how they actually want to 523 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,040 eat. And that is good hosting. 524 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,120 Now, once everyone is seated, this is where the work shifts. 525 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,520 You're not styling anymore, you're hosting. 526 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,400 And yes, that is work. I know we like to pretend that 527 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,040 it's all effortless, but good hosting is only effortless for 528 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:41,880 the guest. Someone has to care. 529 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,960 Someone has to notice the empty bottle, the candle that's gone 530 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,720 out, the person who hasn't been introduced properly, or the 531 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,000 music that has suddenly decided where you know I beat that. 532 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,320 That person is you. Congratulations, welcome to 533 00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:55,920 hosting. But this does not mean hovering. 534 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,360 There is a difference between being attentive and being 535 00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:00,080 annoying. You don't need to ask someone 536 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,320 every 45 seconds if they're OK. They're eating dinner, not 537 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,400 recovering from surgery, but you do want to keep an eye on the 538 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,920 room. Are people settled? 539 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:10,080 Does anyone need a drink? Is there water? 540 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,200 Is the music too loud? Is someone stuck in a 541 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,000 conversation and silently begging for rescue? 542 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,680 Has the candle become a hazard? Has the bathroom lost the plot? 543 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,880 This is the stuff that makes the night feel good and I think the 544 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:26,440 most chic thing a host can do is have good energy and be present. 545 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:30,520 Not performatively present. Not everyone look at me, I have 546 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:33,720 hosted just be present in the event. 547 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,840 Now this is probably my old hospitality days coming through, 548 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,840 but I do like to tati as I go. I know some people like to think 549 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,480 that it's rude. They think that you should just 550 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:45,160 sit and be with your guests and leave everything until later. 551 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:49,560 And look, I understand the sentiment like don't vanish into 552 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:51,680 the kitchen and start deep cleaning the oven while people 553 00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,600 are still eating tiramisu. But clearing empty bottles, 554 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:57,000 taking plates when it makes sense, stacking the dish wash 555 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,800 out while chatting to someone one on one, asking if anyone 556 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,280 wants another drink. That's a part of life. 557 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,320 That's, you know, the event itself. 558 00:26:04,320 --> 00:26:07,360 Sometimes it feels a bit too water sign loosey goosey. 559 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,680 Just sit and have the whole house be a mess and I'll clean 560 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,720 it up tomorrow. I'm too much of A Virgo for 561 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,880 this. I actually think it can be very 562 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:17,360 chic to tidy up as you go and it can be done really well. 563 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:20,520 And it also invites different kinds of conversations because 564 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,200 again, people are breaking off into little groups and they're 565 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,160 chatting amongst themselves as the night goes is on. 566 00:26:27,200 --> 00:26:29,280 And let's be real, if you're stacking everything in the 567 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,920 dishwasher, 9 times out of 10, it needs a second load. 568 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,560 So we need to get through some things. 569 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,400 We need to get through that cutlery, through the glassware, 570 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:38,600 through those pots and pans. You know, actually, you know 571 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,360 what, leave the pots and pans in the kitchen if you haven't 572 00:26:41,360 --> 00:26:43,960 cleaned them already, just see the glassware and the cutlery 573 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:46,560 and things like that. A quick wash, get it done, you 574 00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,400 know, Chuck some bottles in the bin. 575 00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,960 Which reminds me, make sure the bin is empty before everyone 576 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,240 arrives. Consider this the lucky dip 577 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:57,280 trick for everyone that's still listening to this episode 578 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,160 because I really should have said this earlier. 579 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,800 So you guys are the true listeners and deserve all the 580 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:06,000 hot tips and are getting that special little piece for you. 581 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,040 I guarantee you will thank me later. 582 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,080 Having a clear, clean, non smelling bin at the side of your 583 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:16,360 event will save you. Overall, tidying up just keeps 584 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,520 the night flowing. It keeps the space feeling good. 585 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,640 It's up to the kitchen from becoming a disaster zone. 586 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,360 It also just helps manage your stress, you know, because you 587 00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:25,520 don't want to be looking around and seeing all the mess and 588 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,160 dreading the idea of when people leave. 589 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,480 And you know what? I think having the tidy space 590 00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,200 keeps people more well behaved. You know, as the night goes on 591 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,320 and people are drinking more, if the space is messy, they feel 592 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,840 like they can get a little bit messy. 593 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,800 Whereas if the space is tidy, they kind of keep it together a 594 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,880 little bit more. And because let's be real, I 595 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,120 think it's about tidying up silently. 596 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:48,000 Like I don't think you go up to people in deep conversation and 597 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,360 go, does anyone else need to drink or I'm just going to take 598 00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:51,560 this. Can I take that? 599 00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:53,000 Are you done? Are you still going? 600 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,160 What about this? No, no, no, no, don't do that. 601 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,400 If there's an empty bottle, just move it. 602 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,840 If someone needs a drink off of 1 and if the candles need 603 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:01,200 relighting, just go ahead and do it. 604 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:03,640 And if the playlist has gone rogue, just fix it. 605 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,080 I don't think it's about announcing that you're being 606 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:08,960 helpful because I know some people might do that. 607 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,320 I don't. That's not what it is. 608 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,320 Imagine that you're being a host or a waiter at a restaurant. 609 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,440 You don't announce every time you come up to the table. 610 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,280 You just kind of go along and you don't interrupt and it's 611 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,480 very smooth. Now let's talk about 612 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,080 introductions for a second. If someone is new to the group, 613 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,840 don't just say this is Sarah and then abandoned them like you've 614 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,320 done your legal obligation. People need something to work 615 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,480 with, like This is Sarah, she has just moved back from London 616 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,240 and she has some very strong opinions on hotel breakfasts. 617 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,480 Now people have somewhere to go. That little bit of context 618 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:39,440 changes everything. It gives the conversation a 619 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,360 doorway to walk through because people don't want to feel like 620 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,600 they're working for conversation, they want to be 621 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,200 brought in. That is hosting. 622 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,320 And if you want a really good rundown of that, be sure to go 623 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,720 watch Bridget Jones again. And if you haven't seen it, how 624 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,800 dare you. It's one of my top five films. 625 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:56,600 When they're sitting there for dinner and they're showing 626 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,920 people how to introduce people with thoughtful details, Listen 627 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,360 to it. I think seating also plays a 628 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,160 part in this as well. Like you don't need name cards, 629 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:08,240 but if there's more than four people, it can be helpful 630 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:11,000 because you're not trying to be formal. 631 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,080 Sometimes you're just removing the awkwardness because you can 632 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,680 think about who will get along, who needs to hear someone 633 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,680 chatty, who should maybe sit next to the person they came 634 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:22,160 with because they already know them, and who might need a 635 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,440 slightly easier seat. That's not overthinking, that's 636 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,880 just it's caring because there's nothing worse than when you're 637 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,520 sitting on one side of the table and the other side of the table 638 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,480 feels alive and then there's just a dead zone either in the 639 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:34,960 middle of the other side of the table. 640 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:38,560 It's just not fun. You want it to feel like a 641 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:40,880 community. Now, another little thing that 642 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,000 can help with this, depending on the crowd, is having a game or 643 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,040 two nearby. And I don't want it to feel like 644 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,720 an office party where we're all having to play a game that none 645 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,440 of us want to play. It's not meant to make you 646 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,640 panic, and I don't want to force the fun like we're talking 647 00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,840 something easy that can loosen the mood. 648 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,880 It's great if you're outside. Bulls is perfect. 649 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,440 It gives people something to do with their hands and people can 650 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,320 drift in and out and no one has to take it too seriously. 651 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,920 I think Jenga can be fun too, especially if you've got a 652 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,520 little bit more of a relaxed group and you want the night to 653 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,960 feel playful without turning into a children's birthday 654 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:18,160 party. And then later in the night, if 655 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,520 there are fewer people left and the energy has shifted, some 656 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,160 card games can always be really fun. 657 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:24,600 Or like celebrity heads. That's the kind of thing that 658 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:27,040 happens when the dinner has turned into a proper night, the 659 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:29,680 table has been cleared, someone's made a tea or poured 660 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:32,640 another drink, and the playlist is softer and suddenly four 661 00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,800 people are sitting around playing cards like they're in 662 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:36,920 the country house for the weekend. 663 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,320 It's really lovely. The point is to not over plan 664 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,200 every second of the evening. The point is to give the night 665 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,400 somewhere to go if it wants to. Some dinners stay as dinners. 666 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,640 Some dinners turn into drinks. Some turn into a game. 667 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,280 Some turn into a long conversation at a table where no 668 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,040 one moves for three hours. Good hosting is giving the night 669 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:02,560 enough structure to begin and enough ease to evolve and I 670 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:04,960 think that also works for those of us that have kids as well. 671 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,760 Like planning out of space, like a breakout zone for the kids to 672 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:11,360 go and enjoy themselves whilst the parents have a chat is also 673 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,680 really good. I don't mean that you know you 674 00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:15,440 can't see them and it's not safe. 675 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:18,680 I just mean as in kids want to be able to enjoy their time 676 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,800 together as well. They shouldn't have to feel 677 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,440 forced to be involved in the adult entertainment. 678 00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,800 I think it's a bit of a balance because sometimes kids don't 679 00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,040 want to be around the adults as much as the adults don't want to 680 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,600 be around the children. You know, like find the happy 681 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,720 medium, start off all together and then as the night moves on, 682 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:37,240 find that happy medium. Now let's talk about scent 683 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:40,000 because I think it's important and it needs to be handled kind 684 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,720 of carefully. I don't want to walk into your 685 00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,040 house. I feel like I've been punched in 686 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,040 the face by a vanilla cupcake candle and I don't want the 687 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:48,600 scent fighting the food. If you're cooking dinner, I 688 00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,640 don't need the room smelling like ood or tuba rose or caramel 689 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:53,920 or sanderwood and then roast chicken. 690 00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,800 That's just way too many storylines. 691 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,840 Entertaining. I usually like to use something 692 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,240 that's produce focused or green inspired. 693 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,120 Like think tomato leaf, basil, English pear and freesia. 694 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,880 Something fresh, clean and atmospheric. 695 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:10,120 The bathroom can have its own candle. 696 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,320 That's what you can do. A little bit more scent because 697 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,080 it's separate to the food, like your food or your tuberose. 698 00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:18,080 But the main living and dining space, I tend to prefer a 699 00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,040 fresher scent. And honestly just the smell of 700 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:25,480 food, fresh air, good soap and a clean house is amazing. 701 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,320 The best scent is not always a candle. 702 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,640 Sometimes it's just the home that feels clean, aired out and 703 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:33,440 alive. Like open the windows, open the 704 00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,760 doors, air out that house. Because you might not be able to 705 00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,360 smell your house, but everyone that comes over knows a person's 706 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,160 house by the smell. And by opening the windows and 707 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,360 the doors, it kind of gets rid of and softens that smell. 708 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,280 And then have a candle going or something in the oven that 709 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,920 smells amazing. And unfortunately, no candle can 710 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,080 save a bin that should have gone out two hours ago. 711 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,320 Now I want to talk a little bit about where I've learnt this. 712 00:32:58,320 --> 00:33:00,560 Because for me, hosting is tied down to growing up around my 713 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,000 family restaurant, Leaves and fishes and BlackBerry farm. 714 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,840 And I think that shapes so much of how I think about home 715 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,160 hosting. Detail, atmosphere, all of it. 716 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,640 I learned that bathrooms matter. I learned that flowers matter 717 00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,360 and the music matters. The way you greet someone sets 718 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:16,600 the tone. I learned that a table should 719 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,320 feel ready before people arrive. My mom taught me about those 720 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,720 little details like the paper hand towels and the candles in 721 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,280 the bathroom. And my sister taught me the 722 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,440 importance of a really good soundtrack. 723 00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,160 And over time I learned that hosting is really about creating 724 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:31,640 a feeling. I also learnt that people 725 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:35,360 remember how things feel like. Over the years I've celebrated 726 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,440 so many special moments around tables. 727 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,520 Anniversaries, engagements, milestones, birthdays, business 728 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,840 successes, people coming home from overseas or people seeing 729 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,120 family again and catching up with friends after years. 730 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:52,600 And when you're around that, you realise a table is not just a 731 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,760 table. It's where people mark things, 732 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,560 it's where they celebrate, it's where they reconnect, it's where 733 00:33:58,560 --> 00:34:01,880 they sit across from each other and actually have time. 734 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,360 That sounds sentimental and sorry, but it's true. 735 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:07,680 I think that's why I care about the details so much. 736 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,840 Not because I think everything needs to be fancy, but because 737 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,159 the details help create that feeling. 738 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,840 Handle in the bathroom, a tablecloth, a good playlist, a 739 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,520 jug of water. The porch light on. 740 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,400 The flowers are refreshed, the drinks are ready. 741 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:24,760 Individually, they're small. Together, they tell people you 742 00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,040 were expected, you were thought about. 743 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,400 This moment matters. And that's what that's what good 744 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,800 hosting does. It makes people feel considered, 745 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,159 not impressed, considered. And there's a difference. 746 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:40,239 Being impressed can feel cold, being considered it feels warm. 747 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,840 I think hotels really do this quite well. 748 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,480 Like pay attention to the way that they greet you and host you 749 00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:48,600 when you walk into the room and how that room feels like. 750 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:52,320 I remember as a kid going to the Sheraton Grand Sydney on Hyde 751 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,920 Park at Christmas time as a kid. The lobby was decorated and lit 752 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,240 up with all the beautiful Christmas trees. 753 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,560 It just felt so magical and honestly probably started my 754 00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,000 obsession with Christmas. That kind of thing really stays 755 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,840 with you when you're young. The scale of it, the warmth, the 756 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:10,320 sense of arrival. It felt like you'd stepped into 757 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,800 a world where someone had thought about the feeling before 758 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,240 you'd even got there. And I think that's what I'm 759 00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:18,040 always trying to recreate in a home sized way. 760 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:21,600 Not a hotel lobby, not a restaurant, not a production, 761 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:25,560 but that just feeling of a rival, the feeling of ah, this 762 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,560 just feels special. You can do that in a terrace 763 00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,000 house, you can do it in an apartment, you can do it in a 764 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:34,680 rental, you can do it on an island bench with a paper towel, 765 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,720 a tea, and a good playlist. Like you don't need a ballroom, 766 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:41,960 you just need attention. Now, a few quick practical 767 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:45,080 things before we wrap up. If you're hosting soon, don't 768 00:35:45,080 --> 00:35:48,440 start by asking, how do I make this look impressive? 769 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,440 Start by asking how do I want people to feel when they walk in 770 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:53,880 or before they've ever walked in? 771 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:59,680 Do you want it to feel warm, romantic, relaxed, fun, a little 772 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:05,160 bit fancy, cosy, a summer holiday, a long lunch, Nancy 773 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:09,360 Meyer's dinner scene, an Italian courtyard or the chic art? 774 00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:14,000 Who owns linen trousers? Pick the feeling first, then 775 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,920 make the details support that feeling. 776 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,960 If you want warm and relaxed, think lamps, low music, shared 777 00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:25,120 food, a soft tablecloth, candles, and easy drinks. 778 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:28,400 If you wanted to be a little bit more polished, add the name 779 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,840 cards, the proper fabric napkins, a stronger tablescape, 780 00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:35,640 a more structured menu. If you want fun, maybe the food 781 00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:38,360 is less formal, the drink station is more playful, the 782 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:41,400 playlist has a little bit more energy, and there's a game ready 783 00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,320 if the night wants to go somewhere. 784 00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,840 And hey, maybe there's a theme. Sometimes people love themes, 785 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:49,960 but don't just throw nice things at the room and hope they turn 786 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:52,680 into atmosphere. The atmosphere is built. 787 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:55,400 And that sounds dramatic, but it's very true. 788 00:36:55,640 --> 00:37:00,440 It's built through lighting, sound, scent, flow, comfort, 789 00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,160 timing, and all the little details that make people feel 790 00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:07,200 looked after. So here's the order again, 791 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:11,720 because I know we love a list. The music goes on 1st. 792 00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:13,560 The bathroom is clean and styled. 793 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,520 We've taken out the bin. The front of the house is ready. 794 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,440 The gate is open. The porch light on the entry is 795 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,760 clear. People know where to park, the 796 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,560 lighting is set, the lamps, candles, string lights and no 797 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,920 interrogation ceiling lights. The arrival station is ready 798 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,680 with drinks, glasses, nibbles and somewhere for people to 799 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,920 land. The table is set in the distance 800 00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:37,080 so the night has a little anticipation and you've 801 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,800 organised where you want people to start and go and end. 802 00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,960 The food flow is sorted. You're doing a buffet style if 803 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,280 you can because conversation deserves a fighting chance 804 00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:50,400 rather than pass me the salt and pepper and there should be water 805 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:54,600 on the table in a proper jug. Post actively goes through the 806 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:58,040 night clearing bottles, topping up drinks, introducing people 807 00:37:58,240 --> 00:38:01,840 fixes the playlist and keeps the room moving, and having a game 808 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,840 nearby if the crowd suits is good if you want the night to 809 00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:10,440 evolve and enjoy your own event. That last one does matter 810 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:13,440 because sometimes we do get so caught up in making everything 811 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,600 perfect that we forget the entire point was to enjoy being 812 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,480 with people. But I think if you have the 813 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:21,440 music going from the start, it's a little bit more calm. 814 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,000 You know where things are going because you have a sense of 815 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:27,720 direction and you're leading the crowd through because everyone 816 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:30,840 is looking to you. If you have answers and you've 817 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,720 thought about everything, then people feel calm instantly 818 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:35,320 because there's an answer for everything. 819 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:38,920 Like it's not going to be perfect and quite frankly, it 820 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:42,200 shouldn't be perfection. We're looking for atmosphere. 821 00:38:42,240 --> 00:38:45,520 That's the goal, not perfection. If the tablecloth is slightly 822 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:47,760 wrinkled, fine. If the flowers aren't perfect or 823 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,080 there's no flowers, fine. The dinner is simple, fine. 824 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,000 You can order pizzas for all I care. 825 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,080 It doesn't matter. The plates don't have to match. 826 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,760 Like, okay, maybe the plates need to match. 827 00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:01,120 I draw a line. But sometimes it's just about 828 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,480 being charming. And pizza can be charming, okay, 829 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,720 but the house should feel cared for, the guests should feel 830 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,480 welcomed. The night should have a bit of 831 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,120 shape. That's enough. 832 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,000 Actually, that's more than enough. 833 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,440 And honestly, that's what Chic Hosting is to me. 834 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:19,200 It's not being fancy. It's not spending the most 835 00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,280 money. It's about making everyone feel 836 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,920 like they need to behave. It's about creating a setting 837 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,400 where people can just relax, connect, and feel like the 838 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,360 evening was made for them. That's it. 839 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:31,120 The music is playing, the bathroom's clean, the gates 840 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,120 open, the porch lights on the table's waiting, the drinks are 841 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,640 ready and there's a water vessel at Bay, and the host is present, 842 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,160 tidying up so the space doesn't get messy. 843 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,960 So people don't get messy. That's hosting. 844 00:39:43,200 --> 00:39:46,000 Not a performance, not a panic, not a Pinterest board with 845 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,280 anxiety. It's just considered and it's a 846 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,400 lovely night where people can feel like they were meant to be 847 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,160 there. So there you go. 848 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,120 That is my little guide and hosting in style. 849 00:39:55,120 --> 00:39:58,600 The hidden gems, the old hospital habits, those little 850 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:01,200 tiny details and things that make a dinner feel special 851 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:05,040 without making it feel stiff. And remember, a beautiful table 852 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:07,640 is wonderful. I will always support a 853 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,320 beautiful table. I have never met a tablecloth I 854 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,080 didn't want to emotionally discuss. 855 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,640 But the table is only the beginning. 856 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,200 The real hosting isn't how the night feels. 857 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,800 That's what people remember. Thank you so much for listening 858 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:22,440 to Home and Hosting with Louis Burke. 859 00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:25,480 If you enjoyed this episode, you can follow or subscribe wherever 860 00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:27,200 you're listening. And if you're planning a dinner, 861 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,000 please take one thing from this episode and do it properly. 862 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:33,040 Start with the music, then the bathroom, then the lighting. 863 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:35,960 Actually start with all three. I believe in you. 864 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,240 You can also come and find me on Instagram and TikTok at Louis 865 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:42,320 Burke, where I'll continue doing my life's work of saving homes 866 00:40:42,320 --> 00:40:46,000 from overhead lighting sad tables and diagonal throw 867 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,840 blankets on tablecloth beds. Until next time, keep it 868 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,560 polished, not precious, and stay in sheep.