Hello and welcome back to Home and Hosting with me, Louis
Burke. I hope you've been well.
Now to jump straight into the episode.
I've been getting so many DMS about hosting, not just about
setting a beautiful table, because apparently we've covered
the table now, but I've still got some more planned for the
next couple of weeks, so get excited about that.
But we do know we need to have a tablecloth.
We know about the water and wine glasses.
We know about flowers and how they can't just be stuck in a
vase and called a day. We know the fork goes on the
left and the knife goes on the right facing the plate.
And no, there better not be any chopped cushions.
Insight But people have been asking more about the actual
hosting part, like how do you run the night?
What do you do first? How do you make people feel
comfortable? How do you make your home feel
special without acting like you're managing A boutique hotel
with a clipboard? And I mean, it makes sense that
people are asking now because all over the globe we are having
a hosting moment. Like, if you're in the Northern
Hemisphere, it's summer, so people are having people over
outside doing those long lunches, the garden dinners, the
sport previews like Wimbledon, there's barbecues, birthday
celebrations, pretending that they casually live beside that
Nancy Meyers film with better tomatoes.
And then if you're in the Southern Hemisphere like me,
we're in that cosy winter hosting mode.
Like the lamps are on, the candles are lit, something warm
in the oven, and people are coming over for an intimate
dinner because going outside after 6:00 PM just feels like a
personal attack. So whether you're hosting
outside in summer or inside for a cosy winter night, the
question is still the same. How do you make it feel good?
Because a beautiful table is chic, but a table doesn't host
the dinner you do. So what makes a chic host?
Because that table sets the scene.
But the atmosphere, the flow, the music, the lighting, the
bathroom, the drinks, the little moments when people feel looked
after, that's the hosting. That's what you want more of,
and I'm here to give it to you now.
A lot of the things I know about hosting come from growing up
around hospitality in our family restaurant, Leaves and Fishes.
And I also managed our second restaurant and vineyard, Black
Creek Farm, back in the day. If you remember and were
visiting there, that was a great time in my early 20s.
When you've spent years around tables, guests, bathrooms,
flowers, music, people arriving late, people arriving early,
someone needing another drink, someone's art asking for hot
water and lemon, you really start to realise that hosting is
less about perfection and more just about paying attention.
It's about clocking that empty glass, the bathroom candle
that's gone out, the music that has somehow turned into a
nightclub remix, the person hovering near the kitchen island
because they don't know where to put their bag or glass, or
there's a guest who looks like they you really need a job, a
drink, or to be introduced to someone immediately that's
hosting. It's not walking around with a
clipboard like you're managing a wedding venue and telling your
partner off. It's just about being switched
on enough that the night keeps moving and people feel looked
after. So today I want to talk about
the hidden gems, the little hosting things that actually
make a night feel special, not the obvious buy flowers advice.
You know to buy flowers by now and you're listening to this
podcast. I trust that you can locate a
really beautiful bars. So this is more about how to run
the evening, how to make it feel stylish, relaxed, warm and a
little bit special without everyone feeling like they've
entered a performance piece called Please compliment my home
and tablescape because it's about the balance, isn't it?
You want it to feel considered but not stiff and polished but
not precious, Special but not so special that everyone is scared
to put their fork down. So without further ado, let's
get into it. So before you do anything, put
the music on. And I mean it.
Before you start styling the table, before you start cleaning
the nibbles, before you start spiralling over whether the
napkins look too casual, put the music on.
The music makes the house feel like the event has already
started. It stops that horrible awkward
silence if someone arrives early.
And honestly, it keeps you calm while you work.
At least it should. Hosting in silence is where
panic lives. Put on something warm,
cinematic, a bit Nancy Meyers, something that feels like
someone is about to pour wine in a linen shirt and make a roast
chicken they somehow didn't find stressful.
Not the top 50 hits, not a nightclub remix, not something
that makes your home feel like a shopping centre change room.
Just music that says we're having people over and we're not
losing our minds about it. And now I know I bang on about
Nancy Meyers. But there is a good reason.
Because that woman understands atmosphere.
The kitchen is always glowing, someone is always pouring a
glass of wine, and it's probably a bowl of lemon somewhere, doing
more than most people's entire kitchen renovation.
And the music always feels warm and easy.
In all of her films, that's what you want.
You want the music that fills the space without taking over
the space. Backgroundy but not boring.
Warm but not sleepy. Stylish but not so obscure that
everyone feels like they've accidentally walked into a
concept store in Copenhagen. Because we don't want Duff Duff
Club music. We don't want music that people
are going to start really screaming at the top of their
lungs if they have a little bit too much to drink.
At least not early on at the event, am I right?
And unless the whole point of the gathering is to watch
something like the Australian Open or Wimbledon, the TV does
not need to be blaring sport in the open living area.
I know this may upset some people, but I'm not about having
sports screaming through the main entertaining space while
I'm trying to create an atmosphere.
Put it in another room, let the sport people go and be with
their people. Or put it in a projector
outside. It looks so chic.
They can have their little room or their little section out of
the courtyard with the snacks, the little scoreboard.
It's gorgeous for them. But the main space should feel
like a home, not a pub with better cushions.
If you're hosting for the Australian Open or the Grand
Final or whatever it is, then fine.
That is the time and place. Make it the point.
Lean into it, do it properly. But if you're having people ever
for dinner, the TV is not the host, so turn it off.
Once the music is on, the next thing I would do is the
bathroom. Before the table, before the
nibbles, before the flowers. Check the bathroom.
This is so important because the bathroom is the one room guests
usually go to alone. At least they should be going
alone. I don't know what kind of party
you're hosting, but if it's where people go to collect their
thoughts, they check their hair, they wash their hands, and they
clock absolutely everything in that moment of silence.
They might not notice the cobweb in the corner of the living
room, but they will notice the dust on the toilet lid.
They will notice the hair in the sink.
They'll notice if the hand wash is empty and they'll also notice
if there's no hand towel and they have to do that awful
little wet handshake like they've just left a public
bathroom at a train station. You're not doing that.
So whether you have a powder room, a full bathroom, a tiny
bathroom, a rental bathroom, whatever it is, it just needs to
feel fresh, clean and considered.
Clean the mirror, wipe the sink, check the toilet, put out fresh
toilet paper, empty the bin, put nice hand wash in there, light a
candle if it's safe to do so. And my favourite little detail
is you can grab some paper hand towels and put them on a tray.
It's my mom's go to and everyone always says it's so chic.
I mean who knew giving people an individual little towel to dry
their hands makes the world of difference?
Which admittedly is kind of hilarious because it is the
paper towel that you'd literally stick on that unit on the wall.
But instead of having it in a plastic unit stuck on a wall,
you put it on a tray and it instantly just feels chic and
elevated. And the bathroom doesn't need to
be renovated, it doesn't need to be marble.
It doesn't need to have a $400.00 hand wash.
Although obviously I'm not against that as a concept, but
it does need to feel looked after.
The bathroom is that small room with the big opinion, so respect
it and check it again during the night.
Not every 5 minutes like you're guarding the crown jewels, but
once or twice. Just make sure the hand towels
are still in there, the candle is still safe, the bin isn't too
tragic and there isn't, you know, toilet paper all over the
floor. I don't know.
I don't know how wild your parties get.
I just need to clarify and mention everything.
We also want to make sure that there's a spare toilet roll
insight because we don't want people going looking for one.
After the bathroom, we're going to move into the front of the
house. So head outside and open the
gate, Turn on the porch and garden lights if it's the
evening because there's just nothing more romantic and says
I'm home than having outdoor lights shining on the House and
garden. You want to clear the entry, you
want to make sure people know where to park, and you want to
make sure people can actually arrive without a feeling like
they're breaking and entering into your house.
This is such a simple thing, but it really makes the difference
because imagine it, you're arriving, you've just parked,
you're walking in, you can hear music in the distance, the
lights are on. It feels special.
It already feels that the event is happening versus the reverse
of this is it's kind of dark, the sun setting.
It was really awkward to try and find a car park.
I had to text you to find out where the best place to park
was. I go through the gate, but none
of the lights are on and there's no music playing, so I'm not
even sure if this is the right house or whether I should be
going in. You can feel the difference.
The arrival really matters. It just sets the tone for the
evening and the house needs to feel like new people were
coming. That's the easiest way that I
can explain it. Then we need to think about the
entry. Where are people putting the
coats? Where are they putting their
bags and where are they putting the bottle of wine that they've
brought? And where are they going once
they step inside? People need somewhere to land,
otherwise they hover in the hallway holding wine like a lost
uncle. And I say this with love, but
guess are simple creatures. Give them light, give them some
music, give them somewhere to put their bag, give them a
drink, point them towards a crisp and they will be fine.
If you have a particular spot in mind where you'd like people to
gather, you can mention it to people.
You can say, hey, so I think we're going to have drinks out
here. I've got some nibbles already
outside, so feel free to go head over there.
I'm just going to finish up a few things in the kitchen and
then I'll see you in a second and then people are like, right,
I'll go over here or go, I've got some nibbles over here.
You're welcome to take a seat on the sofa.
What would anyone like to drink? I'll be over in a second.
I'm just finishing this up. And then you call someone else
over and they can greet and meet everyone.
Naturally, some people are going to follow you into the kitchen
as you prep different nibbles and different sections.
But already it feels more welcoming because there are
people in different zones throughout the home versus
everyone huddled in the hallway or one awkward spot that you
just don't picture to be the spot to graze and chat and catch
UO. Let's step back for a second.
The music is on, the doors open, the lights are on outside, the
kitchen is clean. Now we need to think about
lighting. Most of us know now with social
media that overhead lighting is where atmosphere goes to die.
You want low, warm layered light.
Lamps, candles, wall lights, string lights, little pools of
light around the room at different heights.
Portable lamps are such a good hosting trick.
They add warmth and a shape without needing to rewire the
whole house and pretend you're suddenly an electrician.
I like those little cute Bistro style ones like Addison Ross.
They have really cute bamboo style lamps with shades or they
have the more content temporary style bobbin shapes.
Little decorative lamps that feel collected, not the
corporate lounge version that looks like it belongs beside a
hotel buffet. We need the little lamps to do
their job and not look like you've picked them up from
Alibaba. Even if you have picked them up
from Alibaba Aliexpress, they do have amazing outdoor and indoor
portable lamps. But just make sure it feels
considered and it matches the style of your home.
So just think if you have some wall sconces, flick them on.
If you have a standing lamp, flick it on.
If you have some on a bedside or a counter or a console put goes
on to and then grab some portable lamps and put them in
spots where you feel like it needs it.
Say like the kitchen area, the bathroom, anywhere that you feel
like feels a bit dull and usually requires an overhead
light. Stick a portable lamp in there
instead and make sure they're all charged the night before.
Now heading out the back of the house, if you have a courtyard
space, I recommend picking up some string lights.
Not in a way where it kind of feels like a beer garden.
Like I don't want it to give beer garden, I want it to give
wedding. Like if you can buy some little
paper lanterns to stick over the top.
It's so romantic and cute. And it's the only kind of
overhead lighting where you look at this and go, God, I look so
good under these lights when the music's playing.
It's such a nice setting. If you have an outdoor space.
And the string lights don't cost that much money these days.
Like it's fantastic. You can grab them at Bunnings or
your hardware store or again on like a Timu or whatever.
So the big lights are turned off, we've put the lamps on,
we've lit the candles and everyone can relax.
So now we move on to the arrival station.
This is where the island bench console or sideboard or whatever
you have becomes really useful. I like an island bench to act
like a drink station and a nibble stopover when people
arrive. Drinks glasses, maybe a little
garnish and we're feeling alive. And a few nibbles to people can
help themselves too. It just gives somewhere for
people to go and make a drink. I think it's nice somewhere
people make their own drinks and a chat versus you making the
drinks. I don't know, sometimes it can
feel a bit awkward, but you do you.
It means when someone walks in, you're not just saying put that
anywhere, which is one of those phrases that sounds relaxed, but
it's actually deeply unhelpful because they have no idea where
to put anything. They're like anywhere, Where is
anywhere? Am I putting this wine on the
floor? Am I putting it on part of the
furniture? People need a place to go.
Give the evening a beginning. I feel like sometimes we want to
be like, yeah, anything will do. People are looking for
direction. If you've seen my content, like
hello, that bed making video, it's sitting on millions of
views now because people just want direction.
They love a sense of, yeah, we're just going to put it here.
People are like, oh, thank God I didn't have to think.
And I think that's what makes a great host.
The people who are coming over don't have to think.
It's all just done. And if they have a question,
it's answered straight away. So have those drinks ready, have
the glasses out, have a water option, have something to eat.
And it doesn't need to be a dramatic grazing table.
In fact, please be careful with the grazing table.
Sometimes it's a little less weightless abundance and a
little more a deli has had a breakdown and I better not be
seeing any chocolate or lollies on a charcuterie board.
It's just strange. I don't understand, why are we,
why are we adding chocolate and lollies to the savoury board?
Like we're about to have dinner guys?
Like, no, a few good things are better than 47 average things.
And this is where I think people can step away from the usual
nibble style. Like I love a cheese board, of
course I do. I'm not here to start a national
debate. But not every gathering needs is
to have a cracker and a dip situation.
Sometimes the thing that makes people say if this feels chic is
doing slightly a little unexpected.
Like sushi for example. Gorgeous, easy people love it.
It feels considered and it's not just a supermarket cracker
begging for help. And you can do variable options.
Not all of it has to be seafood. You can do chicken, you can do
veg. Like there's so many different
options and it looks very cute. Or even little Vietnamese noodle
rolls. Amazing.
Now the point is to not make it complicated.
The point is just not to do the same sad nibble spread every
single time. You want to make a night feel a
little more special, especially if you have a friend group where
you're all catching up and going over to each other's houses.
You don't want to have the same starter everywhere you go.
Even just changing the format can make it feel fresh.
If you're doing crackers and cheese, fine, but arrange it
properly. Give some hide, Give the board
something where it makes sense. Don't unwrap things and hope the
Brie will just carry the evening emotionally.
Now while people are arriving and having a drink, I love
having the table made off in the distance.
That to me is such a little, you know, special treat.
People walk in, they get a drink, they have a nibble, and
then they can see the table set further into the room.
And that creates anticipation like, oh, we're doing something
tonight. There's a moment coming.
The whole house starts to feel like it has a rhythm.
Arrival here, drinks here, table there.
Dinner is coming. Which is also where you can have
a higher tall flower arrangement.
You know, where people always like, oh, I can't see the person
across the table from me. But because the table, not
everything is glued to the table, guys, we can move the
arrangements around around. If anything, the table should be
moving with the night. Like we start off with the
flowers on the table, then we move it over to the buffet.
Everyone sits down and has a chat, then we move things off
the table. Then we might play a couple of
card games or something like that.
You know, the table moves with the evening and that's what you
want and what you need, quite frankly.
Because then you don't have to announce everything like you're
hosting a school assembly. The room and the table is
already telling people what's happening and where things are
going to go. Now, Speaking of the table,
obviously I love a good table, but I do want to say this
clearly. The table doesn't need to have
so much stuff on it. Sometimes people can overdo it
with the table because they think more equals more.
More candles, more flowers, more plates, more little objects and
trinkets or napkin rings. You know, more things that
people just don't know what to do with.
And then suddenly the table looks like a homeware store
that's exploded and no one can really see the person across
from them or know what to do with themselves.
It's kind of the same as when a bed has too many cushions on it.
We don't need all of that. The table needs intention.
It needs things to do and serve a purpose and also look good.
Now something that I would say is my go to, like how a white T
shirt and jeans is your go to and your wardrobe I think is a
tablecloth, A patterned tablecloth in particular, an
Indian block print tablecloth. I absolutely love them.
I get them on Etsy because there's so many different sizes
and shapes, round, rectangular, lots of different colours and
patterns, but it doesn't feel gimmicky or childlike.
It feels timeless and classic and suits so many different
styles of homes. And it also isn't crazy
expensive. And the main reason why I love
an Indian block tablecloth is because it makes any table look
incredible. No matter how much or little
stuff is on it, it instantly gives that, oh, something's
happening on this table today. It just has that oomph factor.
And we haven't even put the plates down yet.
Like you can have plain plates, simple glassware, a few candles
and suddenly the table feels like it has a point of view.
That's the magic of a pattern tablecloth.
It does a lot of the work for you.
It's the quickest way to make a table look dressed without
overthinking every single object.
Now something I will say with colourful and pattern
tablecloths is that it does change quite quickly.
Like the style of it. Like I say, I love an Indian
block tablecloth now, but will I love one in 2-3 years time?
Who knows? I do.
I think that they are a classic when it comes to pattern and
colour, which is sometimes very hard to do.
But I think I prefer them over what else is in the market right
now because it's the same with the colourful dress with an
amazing card. You wear it once and then you're
kind of hesitant to wear it again because people remember
it. That's why people always lean on
the neutrals and if you are going to go down the neutrals
and like really focus in on the texture because I get it, you
can get away with using a neutral thing again and again
and again versus the colourful moment that everyone remembers
from that one event. But you know what?
I think if we use the tablecloth enough, people can get used to
the idea that that same colour patterned tablecloth can act
like a neutral. I yeah, it's something that
maybe we all have to work through.
And, you know, I love a tablecloth.
And I know some people still act like tablecloths are very formal
or old fashioned, and quite frankly, they're not.
They're just useful. They soften the table.
They add pattern, they hide whatever sad surfaces
underneath, and they make a dinner feel like a dinner or a
moment. A naked table can feel
beautiful, yes, But a tablecloth says I've made the effort, and I
really like that. Fabrics, textiles, it doesn't
matter what it is. It could be clothes, a jacket, a
tablecloth, A napkin, a rug, curtains.
They all add something. They always bring an element of
sophistication, an element of like effortlessness, something.
It's just always chic fabric and textiles wherever you can place
them, either on yourself or in your room.
They will always elevate any space and make it come to life
and feel more comfortable. Now, if you really want to jazz
things up, I love a good name tag.
I know it's simple, but it works.
People like seeing and hearing their name.
It's the same as when you meet someone, if you can mention
their name two or three times within the conversation with a
feeling natural and organic, not only will you remember their
name, but they will walk away thinking that you're a lot more
friendly and they like you more. There's been psychology tests
around it. Like, look it up.
I promise. It just creates a personal
moment. It stops that awkward thing
where everyone stands around the table going, oh, where should I
see it? And then someone panics and ends
up next to the one person they've already spoken to about,
you know, for the last 40 minutes.
Name tags solve that. They give the evening structure.
Now you're not being controlling, you're just being
helpful. Well, maybe a little
controlling, but in a chic way. I do think there is a time and
place for a name tag. It doesn't have to be every
occasion because I get that sometimes we want to make things
feel loose and relaxed and invited.
Writing just depends on the occasion.
You know in yourself whether it's a name tag situation or
it's not a name tag situation. And I'll leave that one with
you. Now my unexpected table object
is a water jug. I know, thrilling, everyone calm
down. But people forget about the
water jug all the time. They do the wine, the cocktails,
the fun drink, whatever, and then the water is treated like a
sad afterthought from the kitchen.
Tap water deserves a really good vessel.
I like making it feel more special with a beautiful jug
like the department Paris one. It's practical, but it adds
shape and intention to the table.
It's also a visual cue, like when there is water on the
table, people will drink it, which I do think is important
when we are drinking alcohol and the weather is hot, you know,
it's nice to stay hydrated. And I feel like when the water
is on the table, you will drink it versus if you don't see it
anywhere, you'll just forget. Now, once we have the arrival
that's happening in the table set, we need to talk about the
food flow. This is one of my strongest
opinions and I've covered it before.
And yes, it's maybe very specific, but welcome to the
podcast. I love a buffet style dinner.
Not buffet as in stainless steel trays and a sneeze guard.
Calm down. I mean just serving the food
from the island or a console or kitchen bench or Cyborg,
whatever makes the most sense in your space.
And then people take their plate over to the table.
It just works so well. People serve themselves, they
chat while they plate up, they choose what they want, they take
the amount they want, and they can go back if they need.
And once everyone is seated, the conversation can actually
happen. Because one of my big biggest
dinner party pet hates is the constant passing.
You are mid conversation. You have just found your point
and you have something to say and you're going to say
something brilliant, obviously. And then someone goes, can you
pass the bread? Fine.
And then 30 seconds later can you pass the salad, then the
butter, then the bread again. And then someone else wants the
dressing. And then suddenly the entire
table has become a logistics operation and no one has
finished a sentence in 12 minutes.
I just can't. I'm mid sentence.
Jeff, make a plate and let us all speak.
I'm not saying you can never put anything on the table.
Obviously some things are nice to share.
Bread, butter, maybe your salad, condiments, whatever works.
But if the entire meal requires a passing chain every 3 minutes,
I'm going to lose the will to host.
The other benefit of buffet style serving is it makes the
host feel calmer. You're not trying to plate a
restaurant style meal for eight people while everyone watches
you slowly unravel. Because unless you're actually a
chef, plating 8 individual portions is really as chic as
people think it is. I don't know anyone who's really
doing that, but they could be someone listening to things that
have to plate up everything individually.
In my mind it's either food is on the table and we have to pass
everything around, or food is on a buffet where we self serve and
then sit down. And I would rather deal with the
anxiety of going going up to get seconds then having people
constantly ask me to pass the salt and pepper.
So pick your poison. Family style or buffet style.
It feels just more relaxed, it's more generous, it's more home
and it gives people permission to eat how they actually want to
eat. And that is good hosting.
Now, once everyone is seated, this is where the work shifts.
You're not styling anymore, you're hosting.
And yes, that is work. I know we like to pretend that
it's all effortless, but good hosting is only effortless for
the guest. Someone has to care.
Someone has to notice the empty bottle, the candle that's gone
out, the person who hasn't been introduced properly, or the
music that has suddenly decided where you know I beat that.
That person is you. Congratulations, welcome to
hosting. But this does not mean hovering.
There is a difference between being attentive and being
annoying. You don't need to ask someone
every 45 seconds if they're OK. They're eating dinner, not
recovering from surgery, but you do want to keep an eye on the
room. Are people settled?
Does anyone need a drink? Is there water?
Is the music too loud? Is someone stuck in a
conversation and silently begging for rescue?
Has the candle become a hazard? Has the bathroom lost the plot?
This is the stuff that makes the night feel good and I think the
most chic thing a host can do is have good energy and be present.
Not performatively present. Not everyone look at me, I have
hosted just be present in the event.
Now this is probably my old hospitality days coming through,
but I do like to tati as I go. I know some people like to think
that it's rude. They think that you should just
sit and be with your guests and leave everything until later.
And look, I understand the sentiment like don't vanish into
the kitchen and start deep cleaning the oven while people
are still eating tiramisu. But clearing empty bottles,
taking plates when it makes sense, stacking the dish wash
out while chatting to someone one on one, asking if anyone
wants another drink. That's a part of life.
That's, you know, the event itself.
Sometimes it feels a bit too water sign loosey goosey.
Just sit and have the whole house be a mess and I'll clean
it up tomorrow. I'm too much of A Virgo for
this. I actually think it can be very
chic to tidy up as you go and it can be done really well.
And it also invites different kinds of conversations because
again, people are breaking off into little groups and they're
chatting amongst themselves as the night goes is on.
And let's be real, if you're stacking everything in the
dishwasher, 9 times out of 10, it needs a second load.
So we need to get through some things.
We need to get through that cutlery, through the glassware,
through those pots and pans. You know, actually, you know
what, leave the pots and pans in the kitchen if you haven't
cleaned them already, just see the glassware and the cutlery
and things like that. A quick wash, get it done, you
know, Chuck some bottles in the bin.
Which reminds me, make sure the bin is empty before everyone
arrives. Consider this the lucky dip
trick for everyone that's still listening to this episode
because I really should have said this earlier.
So you guys are the true listeners and deserve all the
hot tips and are getting that special little piece for you.
I guarantee you will thank me later.
Having a clear, clean, non smelling bin at the side of your
event will save you. Overall, tidying up just keeps
the night flowing. It keeps the space feeling good.
It's up to the kitchen from becoming a disaster zone.
It also just helps manage your stress, you know, because you
don't want to be looking around and seeing all the mess and
dreading the idea of when people leave.
And you know what? I think having the tidy space
keeps people more well behaved. You know, as the night goes on
and people are drinking more, if the space is messy, they feel
like they can get a little bit messy.
Whereas if the space is tidy, they kind of keep it together a
little bit more. And because let's be real, I
think it's about tidying up silently.
Like I don't think you go up to people in deep conversation and
go, does anyone else need to drink or I'm just going to take
this. Can I take that?
Are you done? Are you still going?
What about this? No, no, no, no, don't do that.
If there's an empty bottle, just move it.
If someone needs a drink off of 1 and if the candles need
relighting, just go ahead and do it.
And if the playlist has gone rogue, just fix it.
I don't think it's about announcing that you're being
helpful because I know some people might do that.
I don't. That's not what it is.
Imagine that you're being a host or a waiter at a restaurant.
You don't announce every time you come up to the table.
You just kind of go along and you don't interrupt and it's
very smooth. Now let's talk about
introductions for a second. If someone is new to the group,
don't just say this is Sarah and then abandoned them like you've
done your legal obligation. People need something to work
with, like This is Sarah, she has just moved back from London
and she has some very strong opinions on hotel breakfasts.
Now people have somewhere to go. That little bit of context
changes everything. It gives the conversation a
doorway to walk through because people don't want to feel like
they're working for conversation, they want to be
brought in. That is hosting.
And if you want a really good rundown of that, be sure to go
watch Bridget Jones again. And if you haven't seen it, how
dare you. It's one of my top five films.
When they're sitting there for dinner and they're showing
people how to introduce people with thoughtful details, Listen
to it. I think seating also plays a
part in this as well. Like you don't need name cards,
but if there's more than four people, it can be helpful
because you're not trying to be formal.
Sometimes you're just removing the awkwardness because you can
think about who will get along, who needs to hear someone
chatty, who should maybe sit next to the person they came
with because they already know them, and who might need a
slightly easier seat. That's not overthinking, that's
just it's caring because there's nothing worse than when you're
sitting on one side of the table and the other side of the table
feels alive and then there's just a dead zone either in the
middle of the other side of the table.
It's just not fun. You want it to feel like a
community. Now, another little thing that
can help with this, depending on the crowd, is having a game or
two nearby. And I don't want it to feel like
an office party where we're all having to play a game that none
of us want to play. It's not meant to make you
panic, and I don't want to force the fun like we're talking
something easy that can loosen the mood.
It's great if you're outside. Bulls is perfect.
It gives people something to do with their hands and people can
drift in and out and no one has to take it too seriously.
I think Jenga can be fun too, especially if you've got a
little bit more of a relaxed group and you want the night to
feel playful without turning into a children's birthday
party. And then later in the night, if
there are fewer people left and the energy has shifted, some
card games can always be really fun.
Or like celebrity heads. That's the kind of thing that
happens when the dinner has turned into a proper night, the
table has been cleared, someone's made a tea or poured
another drink, and the playlist is softer and suddenly four
people are sitting around playing cards like they're in
the country house for the weekend.
It's really lovely. The point is to not over plan
every second of the evening. The point is to give the night
somewhere to go if it wants to. Some dinners stay as dinners.
Some dinners turn into drinks. Some turn into a game.
Some turn into a long conversation at a table where no
one moves for three hours. Good hosting is giving the night
enough structure to begin and enough ease to evolve and I
think that also works for those of us that have kids as well.
Like planning out of space, like a breakout zone for the kids to
go and enjoy themselves whilst the parents have a chat is also
really good. I don't mean that you know you
can't see them and it's not safe.
I just mean as in kids want to be able to enjoy their time
together as well. They shouldn't have to feel
forced to be involved in the adult entertainment.
I think it's a bit of a balance because sometimes kids don't
want to be around the adults as much as the adults don't want to
be around the children. You know, like find the happy
medium, start off all together and then as the night moves on,
find that happy medium. Now let's talk about scent
because I think it's important and it needs to be handled kind
of carefully. I don't want to walk into your
house. I feel like I've been punched in
the face by a vanilla cupcake candle and I don't want the
scent fighting the food. If you're cooking dinner, I
don't need the room smelling like ood or tuba rose or caramel
or sanderwood and then roast chicken.
That's just way too many storylines.
Entertaining. I usually like to use something
that's produce focused or green inspired.
Like think tomato leaf, basil, English pear and freesia.
Something fresh, clean and atmospheric.
The bathroom can have its own candle.
That's what you can do. A little bit more scent because
it's separate to the food, like your food or your tuberose.
But the main living and dining space, I tend to prefer a
fresher scent. And honestly just the smell of
food, fresh air, good soap and a clean house is amazing.
The best scent is not always a candle.
Sometimes it's just the home that feels clean, aired out and
alive. Like open the windows, open the
doors, air out that house. Because you might not be able to
smell your house, but everyone that comes over knows a person's
house by the smell. And by opening the windows and
the doors, it kind of gets rid of and softens that smell.
And then have a candle going or something in the oven that
smells amazing. And unfortunately, no candle can
save a bin that should have gone out two hours ago.
Now I want to talk a little bit about where I've learnt this.
Because for me, hosting is tied down to growing up around my
family restaurant, Leaves and fishes and BlackBerry farm.
And I think that shapes so much of how I think about home
hosting. Detail, atmosphere, all of it.
I learned that bathrooms matter. I learned that flowers matter
and the music matters. The way you greet someone sets
the tone. I learned that a table should
feel ready before people arrive. My mom taught me about those
little details like the paper hand towels and the candles in
the bathroom. And my sister taught me the
importance of a really good soundtrack.
And over time I learned that hosting is really about creating
a feeling. I also learnt that people
remember how things feel like. Over the years I've celebrated
so many special moments around tables.
Anniversaries, engagements, milestones, birthdays, business
successes, people coming home from overseas or people seeing
family again and catching up with friends after years.
And when you're around that, you realise a table is not just a
table. It's where people mark things,
it's where they celebrate, it's where they reconnect, it's where
they sit across from each other and actually have time.
That sounds sentimental and sorry, but it's true.
I think that's why I care about the details so much.
Not because I think everything needs to be fancy, but because
the details help create that feeling.
Handle in the bathroom, a tablecloth, a good playlist, a
jug of water. The porch light on.
The flowers are refreshed, the drinks are ready.
Individually, they're small. Together, they tell people you
were expected, you were thought about.
This moment matters. And that's what that's what good
hosting does. It makes people feel considered,
not impressed, considered. And there's a difference.
Being impressed can feel cold, being considered it feels warm.
I think hotels really do this quite well.
Like pay attention to the way that they greet you and host you
when you walk into the room and how that room feels like.
I remember as a kid going to the Sheraton Grand Sydney on Hyde
Park at Christmas time as a kid. The lobby was decorated and lit
up with all the beautiful Christmas trees.
It just felt so magical and honestly probably started my
obsession with Christmas. That kind of thing really stays
with you when you're young. The scale of it, the warmth, the
sense of arrival. It felt like you'd stepped into
a world where someone had thought about the feeling before
you'd even got there. And I think that's what I'm
always trying to recreate in a home sized way.
Not a hotel lobby, not a restaurant, not a production,
but that just feeling of a rival, the feeling of ah, this
just feels special. You can do that in a terrace
house, you can do it in an apartment, you can do it in a
rental, you can do it on an island bench with a paper towel,
a tea, and a good playlist. Like you don't need a ballroom,
you just need attention. Now, a few quick practical
things before we wrap up. If you're hosting soon, don't
start by asking, how do I make this look impressive?
Start by asking how do I want people to feel when they walk in
or before they've ever walked in?
Do you want it to feel warm, romantic, relaxed, fun, a little
bit fancy, cosy, a summer holiday, a long lunch, Nancy
Meyer's dinner scene, an Italian courtyard or the chic art?
Who owns linen trousers? Pick the feeling first, then
make the details support that feeling.
If you want warm and relaxed, think lamps, low music, shared
food, a soft tablecloth, candles, and easy drinks.
If you wanted to be a little bit more polished, add the name
cards, the proper fabric napkins, a stronger tablescape,
a more structured menu. If you want fun, maybe the food
is less formal, the drink station is more playful, the
playlist has a little bit more energy, and there's a game ready
if the night wants to go somewhere.
And hey, maybe there's a theme. Sometimes people love themes,
but don't just throw nice things at the room and hope they turn
into atmosphere. The atmosphere is built.
And that sounds dramatic, but it's very true.
It's built through lighting, sound, scent, flow, comfort,
timing, and all the little details that make people feel
looked after. So here's the order again,
because I know we love a list. The music goes on 1st.
The bathroom is clean and styled.
We've taken out the bin. The front of the house is ready.
The gate is open. The porch light on the entry is
clear. People know where to park, the
lighting is set, the lamps, candles, string lights and no
interrogation ceiling lights. The arrival station is ready
with drinks, glasses, nibbles and somewhere for people to
land. The table is set in the distance
so the night has a little anticipation and you've
organised where you want people to start and go and end.
The food flow is sorted. You're doing a buffet style if
you can because conversation deserves a fighting chance
rather than pass me the salt and pepper and there should be water
on the table in a proper jug. Post actively goes through the
night clearing bottles, topping up drinks, introducing people
fixes the playlist and keeps the room moving, and having a game
nearby if the crowd suits is good if you want the night to
evolve and enjoy your own event. That last one does matter
because sometimes we do get so caught up in making everything
perfect that we forget the entire point was to enjoy being
with people. But I think if you have the
music going from the start, it's a little bit more calm.
You know where things are going because you have a sense of
direction and you're leading the crowd through because everyone
is looking to you. If you have answers and you've
thought about everything, then people feel calm instantly
because there's an answer for everything.
Like it's not going to be perfect and quite frankly, it
shouldn't be perfection. We're looking for atmosphere.
That's the goal, not perfection. If the tablecloth is slightly
wrinkled, fine. If the flowers aren't perfect or
there's no flowers, fine. The dinner is simple, fine.
You can order pizzas for all I care.
It doesn't matter. The plates don't have to match.
Like, okay, maybe the plates need to match.
I draw a line. But sometimes it's just about
being charming. And pizza can be charming, okay,
but the house should feel cared for, the guests should feel
welcomed. The night should have a bit of
shape. That's enough.
Actually, that's more than enough.
And honestly, that's what Chic Hosting is to me.
It's not being fancy. It's not spending the most
money. It's about making everyone feel
like they need to behave. It's about creating a setting
where people can just relax, connect, and feel like the
evening was made for them. That's it.
The music is playing, the bathroom's clean, the gates
open, the porch lights on the table's waiting, the drinks are
ready and there's a water vessel at Bay, and the host is present,
tidying up so the space doesn't get messy.
So people don't get messy. That's hosting.
Not a performance, not a panic, not a Pinterest board with
anxiety. It's just considered and it's a
lovely night where people can feel like they were meant to be
there. So there you go.
That is my little guide and hosting in style.
The hidden gems, the old hospital habits, those little
tiny details and things that make a dinner feel special
without making it feel stiff. And remember, a beautiful table
is wonderful. I will always support a
beautiful table. I have never met a tablecloth I
didn't want to emotionally discuss.
But the table is only the beginning.
The real hosting isn't how the night feels.
That's what people remember. Thank you so much for listening
to Home and Hosting with Louis Burke.
If you enjoyed this episode, you can follow or subscribe wherever
you're listening. And if you're planning a dinner,
please take one thing from this episode and do it properly.
Start with the music, then the bathroom, then the lighting.
Actually start with all three. I believe in you.
You can also come and find me on Instagram and TikTok at Louis
Burke, where I'll continue doing my life's work of saving homes
from overhead lighting sad tables and diagonal throw
blankets on tablecloth beds. Until next time, keep it
polished, not precious, and stay in sheep.