Thanks, Nathan. It's really good that you,
you've decided to come on and it's, it's my quest this year to
get in touch with more patrons and people I know through the
Chronicle community that maybe I've interacted through Discord
with and chatted with. And I've chatted with you maybe
once before on Discord now chat, paint chat room areas there.
But yeah, get in touch with more of my patrons and have them on
on the show. And so I know who I'm, who's
been who's, who's sending me their patronage every month.
It's nice to connect with them and, and get to know them more.
So. And we've got you connected with
a bunch of gamers down in Sydney right here.
Yeah, that's right. That's right with Con FX from
the Discord, also Zoty Pics and Canon Star that we've been
playing together, sometimes together, sometimes not
together, but not all of us together.
But we've been having and having a lot of fun down at a gaming
club down in South Sydney, which has been excellent.
I didn't even know things like that existed until very, very
recently when time effects just very generously said, hey, I am
got your membership, so now you kind of gotta gotta come.
That's how we that's. It but yeah, no, he's he's been
very, very generous, very kind, really nice guy.
It's been really nice developing a friendship with him.
Learned a lot of things about the community, about about the
painting, about gaming. It's just been having a lot of
fun, which is what it's all about, right?
Yeah, yeah, no, Carnifex is a great guy and sadly we just
haven't got together to do more podcasts together because I've
really enjoyed his community focus on our Discord especially,
so we've got to make that our focus again this year and get
him back on so. But yeah, he's a top bloke,
Carnifex. So I'm really glad to have
crossed paths with him because I think it was only after our
first conversation I said, mate, do you want to come on the you
want to join by the podcast, You can see he just seems like a
very friendly, laid back, easy, easy going guy.
You know, he's just, he just has that personality that I think
people lot of lot of. Lot of fun to game with as well.
Yeah, I bet. Yeah.
I'm hoping he's going to come to Japan at some point and so we
can play 40K together or vice versa.
I go down to Australia and play 40K with him, so yeah, that'd be
good. We've got a lot of plans to play
a lot of different games that I've never played before, which
is good, so I'm more sorry about.
What's the name of this club? What's the name of this game?
Club South Sutherland Shire Gamers Club.
So yeah, I live in this South of Sydney, so it's 20 minute drive
for me which is great. Now it's a lot longer drive for
Zoty Biggs, but I think it's an hour driver so for him, but for
yeah, kind of fix myself and Canon style.
We both live relatively close, so nice and local and all the
guys there are really friendly. A lot of people playing all
sorts of games, a lot of historical games or modern
versions of 40K and lots of other games I've never seen
before. But all really nice friendly,
happy to have a chat which is good, it's nice.
Yeah, it sounds like a good, good atmosphere to be gaming in
mate with good people. So yeah, if anybody is in the
South southern part of Sydney and they would like to be
initiated with with a free membership from Carnifex, I'll
have to leave a link somewhere down below in the show notes.
You can go and check it out and get in touch with the the club
organizers and head down there one day.
Amazing tables and more terrain than you can imagine.
Like amazing sort of terrain. I was like, before I discovered
it, I was spending so much money just buying card stock things
and trying to make stuff myself. And then I walk in and see all
this stuff. I'm like, I can stop doing that.
It's. You.
Know real life really nice terrain makes a big difference
for me when you're playing, you know, I really like that sort of
immersive sort of narrative aspect to gaming and I find you
know, with paint nicely painted miniatures and good terrain,
nice table really helps a lot. I get a lot more enjoyment out
of it. A lot different to playing on
the bedroom floor when I was a kid or on even on the even on
the ping pong table that's a little bit older.
Yeah, we did the same mate. Yeah, yeah.
But you know, they were fun times too.
It's, it's interesting because all as war gamers who people who
are curious in this very niche hobby of ours that we've all
evolved from the floor hammer to the ping pong table to now, you
know, Fast forward many years later, we've got proper tables,
flock tables, gaming mats, You know, we've, we know how to
build terrain. We bought terrain.
You know, we're sort of now living the the aspirations and
dreams as teenagers or youngsters wanting to have all
that stuff. Couldn't, no, didn't know how to
do it, didn't have the means or the money necessary or just the
knowledge. And now we're sort of doing it
now, so. Yeah, I remember being 12 or so
and thinking, oh Gee, I can't wait till I wait till I grow up
and then I'll be able to afford all this Warhammer stuff and
then like growing up now and I still can't afford it so.
Not living in Sydney in Australia you can't, that's for
sure. No, no.
And particularly with my peculiar interests of a lot of
the older sort of stuff, it's can be quite expensive, but you
get lucky every now and then and there's a lot of really nice
people and those old hammers sort of trading groups where
it's a lot cheaper than it would be on eBay otherwise.
And sometimes you can make some nice deals where you swap stuff
that you're not really going to use anymore or.
Or. Something that you are and vice
versa about having some good experience in the in the Discord
group as well. Just swapping stuff with people,
sending stuff to other side of the world, but getting stuff
that you really want and they get stuff that they really want
and works out really nicely. Yeah, I'm avoiding those groups
at all cost. It cost me nearly $1000 the last
time I visited that one so. Is this for those wood elves?
That's for the wood elves and they're quickly going to be
painted and turned around into a Commission and out the door
again. So I can I can make a few
dollars on that and hopefully have enough money to go to
Australia or something like that this year with that, I think the
model fund. But yeah, that that is going to
be a a third edition experience, like playing third edition
fantasy really for the first time this year.
We're going to do that so. Yeah, well, that's that's my
real cup of tea. Third, I did 3rd Ed.
Yeah, I want to pick your brain about that, mate.
Well, I have to, I have to be honest to start off with in that
I've never actually played a game of 3rd edition besides
playing by myself. So.
But that's going to change very shortly.
I'm in the process of building a third Undead army and going to
play against Zodi Vicks from the Discord community probably
within the next couple of months.
I know he's got a baby on the way, so got to get that done
before that happens. And then, yeah, the dream is to
eventually play a siege game. Like when I, I first came into
the hobby at the end of 5th edition, I would say.
I remember I was at a a holiday camp and one of the older
teenage guy running the particular group activity we're
in was actually one of those red shirts from Games Workshop.
And he just had one of those catalogues with him.
One of those maybe not a catalogue, just one of those
brochures, you know, the ones that come in the pack of Hero
Quest or, you know, and I remember just looking at it and
my brain just melting just thinking, I've never seen
anything like this before. And it just, you know, because
I, I was one of those kids that grew up always like as far back
as I can remember, just being obsessed with fantasy in
general. In terms of, you know, like
movies like those good 80 movies like Conan or like Willow,
Excalibur, sort of in stone Robin Hood and books like being
read The Hobbit in Lord of the rings by my dad when I was a
little boy and used to drool over books about Knights and you
know, those pop out knight books and castles and medieval warfare
and things like that. Like I was the kind of kid that
in kindergarten I would build castles out of paddle pop sticks
and Lego, you know, and have imaginary little wars.
And so then, you know, we, I used to do all sorts of crazy
stuff when I was a kid. You know, the stuff growing up
in the 90s that kids now probably don't get the
experience of. We used to, with my friends and
cousins and brother and sister, we would make suits of armor out
of cardboard and put like aluminium foil around them.
And then we would joust each other on bikes, you know, or use
like, cricket wicket stumps as swords and, you know, run around
and battle like that. So saying something like
Warhammer for the first time was just like, this is just, you
know, all my dreams come true. But I guess even even before
that, it started with what's called crossbows and catapults.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sure do. Yeah, me too.
I remember even using some of the castles and that, you know,
as terrain in some of my early games, even some of the
miniatures just to fill out ranks and stuff.
That was. Yeah, that was good fun.
But, you know, Warhammer is kind of a step up from that.
So yeah, I remember. And the guy was saying, yeah,
you know, there's a shop in George Street in the city.
You should come and check it out.
I remember paying my $0.65 to catch the 339 to George Street
with my sister, brother, a couple of friends, a couple of
cousins and is walking into the store for the first time.
Did you ever see the one in Sydney in George St.
Yeah, I, I went to that one. I think I went.
Is it across the road? Is it like across from David
Jones or Maya or something? Yeah.
I mean, I think it may have moved now that that's where it
used to be. Yeah.
And they're just walking in there and just being like, Oh my
God, you know, like just having my mind absolutely blown looking
at all the miniatures and the cabinets, looking at the
beautiful tables, at the terrain.
And I always, I was, I wanted to get something fantasy related,
but all my friends at the time were really keen on getting 40K.
So I was like, well, I may as well get 40K as well because I
want somebody to play with. And I was wanted eventually
originally to get those Valhalla Ice Warriors, the ones that look
a bit like Russian World War Two soldiers.
But then going in there and they're out of stock that you
know, I couldn't wait until going next time.
I had to get something. So I got the Katachan jungle
fighters that even then I gave. I gave all of them those anyway
and put little grenades at the end of their arrows from cut out
from, you know, the painting kits that would come with a free
little Britannia notches, remember?
Just, you know, you just sit there and people would just give
you stuff, you know, or there'd be stuff going around.
It's not like walking into a Games Workshop today.
And yeah, we'll have all sorts of bedroom battlefield battles.
Not playing by the rules because we're too young to really
understand how to play properly. So it's kind of just like, oh,
you know, my guys shoots a grenade.
So it's killed all of your guys, you know, that sort of stuff.
But you know, as you get older and you get more into it and
you're a bit more mature to understand how to play and then,
you know, not having any money. As a kid, I would borrow my
dad's lawnmower to mow all the neighbors lawns just to save
money. Remember like you'd spend a
whole day mowing someone's lawn and you get paid 5 bucks and my
dad to teach me the the value of money would say that I'd had to
give him $2.50 for the petrol and the upkeep of the lawn
mower. Yeah, the bastard would make me
mow our own lawn as well. He'd just sit there my earnings
to buy himself a deer, sitting in the hot summer wet watching
me mow the lawn. So took a long time to save up
enough money the same time I used to also work again.
You wouldn't be able to do this today, but as a kid at golf
course and Michael's golf course, the sort of La Perouse
area on the driving range, picking up balls, you know, and
the people who, who are practicing golf would be aiming
at you, you know, So every now and then you get hit, scare the
shit out of you. And they, you, they dress you up
in baseball, the padding for, you know, the guy behind the,
the batter, he catches the ball. You're going around in the, you
know, between the trees watching out for snakes, picking up
balls. And if you feel the whole
garbage bin up with balls, you get paid $5.
And then I remember then, you know, you do that until I can't
remember until the sun was almost setting and I'd sit there
and I'd be waiting for my dad to pick me up after work.
I could be waiting there a long time.
And I'm just reading the Go Trek and Felix novels, you know, it
was so obsessed with them, all the the Bill King ones and just
kept braiding them into it was too dark to see and just just
wait until my dad would come. And then eventually after doing
that for a long time, I am what seemed like a long time when I
was a kid. It probably wasn't that long at
all. I finally saved up enough money
to get a starter kit data set. But just as I did, 5th edition
ended and 6th edition came out. So I ended up getting the 6th
edition starter set and by that time primary school was just
ending. So the and all my friends ended
up going to different primaries, sorry different high schools.
So I kind of feel like, you know, this is before we had
Internet and all of the mobile phones.
So we all kind of lost touch with each other.
And in my new school, no one was interested in playing Warhammer.
So round about that time, that's when Mordheim first came out.
And I know you're not a big, big fan of Mordheim, but I love
Mordheim. I love it a lot.
It's actually got a lot, I find a lot of similarities between
Mordheim and 3rd edition fantasy and sort of the role-playing
aspects to it and even sort of the, the moods more of that sort
of brim dark feeling as opposed to the sort of the brighter 4th
and 5th editions. You know, everyone's got
different tastes. I kind of like the sort of
darker sort of look Lord Heim has that has a lot of that.
And it's just a really fun game as well.
Uses the sort of 5th edition fantasy mechanics, but with a
lot of sort of role-playing elements put into it, sort of
stuff that you see a lot of in in 3rd edition fantasy.
So I think it was my 13th birthday and I got that the
starter set for more time for my birthday, but just at the same
time that I didn't have anyone to play with anymore.
So I just kind of played by myself, which was, you know, not
that much fun, but you know, better than nothing.
And that went on for a while until I discovered beer and
girls and Warhammer got left by the side.
And I've no idea what happened to all my stuff.
I think my parents must have just chucked it out, which is a
shame because you know, that would be worth a lot now.
And there's a lot of things I would have I would love to have
now. But that's just the way it is.
And now you can see the more time rule book can be 300 U.S.
dollars, you know, And it's just a beautiful book with a lot of
beautiful artwork throughout it. But that's just the way it is.
And around about that time I remember going to one of those
second hand book fairs and they had a huge collection of old
white dwarfs. I I wouldn't know exactly, but
I'm guessing somewhere between like 100 and 150.
And I would have picked up maybe 30 or 40 of them for, you know,
5 bucks or something. And just having a look at the
older stuff, stuff that was out, you know, before I was even born
and I had an even bigger sort of brain melting moment just
thinking that this stuff is gorgeous.
You know, just the miniatures, the artwork.
I mean, just even having a look in the 3rd edition book, it's
worth the huge amount of money it costs today just for the
artwork alone. It's beautiful.
It's beautiful just the way it's set out.
And I love all that, that sort of mid to late 80s sort of
fantasy, the drawings, it's just, it's amazing.
And again, the miniatures, you know, when I was younger, I
didn't really appreciate the fact that I look at miniatures
now, especially the old ones, as as little pieces of art.
You know, they're statues, they're gorgeous.
They're like craftsmanship and skilled.
To go into creating something like that is amazing.
And you can compare it to like, not that long ago I went into a
Games Workshop and my experience was quite different to that from
when I was a kid. It was just, it wasn't very
nice. I remember going in and being
like, yeah, you know why I'm a fantasy and and more time and
then finding out that, you know, the end times happened and just
thinking what like, why would you do that?
Now I understand now business decisions behind it and, and
whatever, but something that was so important to me for so long
as a kid and to have it all destroyed, it's, it wasn't a
nice feeling. And I remember looking at the
table and thinking, oh, they sell like larger sort of, I
don't know, you know, if you go into like comic stores and they
have like Marvel sort of not miniatures, they're kind of
bigger than that. Sort of, I don't know what you'd
call them like display pieces or something.
So I thought that's what I was looking at when I walked into
the store. But it's just that the scale
creep has gotten so out of hand. They were just miniatures and
they're just a lot bigger than they used to be.
And just being really confused because it looked like what I
thought were Space Marines, but in their new sort of age of
Sigma fantasy setting. And it's just like, why would
you have Space Marines in this sort of and just learning a bit
more about them, you know, you know, maybe there's something to
it. And.
I left the store pretty quickly and, and didn't go back again.
And then, you know, I was just thinking, you know, I've got
nobody, I don't know anyone who's sort of interested in, in
playing that. All my friends from high school
and uni have no interest at all and anything like that.
And just thinking, OK, well, you know, that's, that's the end of
that really. You know, every five to 10 years
I might reread the, you know, Bill King's books, the good
Track and feel like ones and the Tyrion and Tackless.
When I was a kid, I really liked IELTS.
I still do really like IELTS. I just too intimidated to paint
them at the moment that I think I will get, I will get there
eventually. I think getting better every,
every, every model you paint, you get better.
And then I got extremely ill, so I was never here all my whole
life. I spent all of my 20s travelling
around the world eating all sorts of different food,
learning different languages, learning to cook really well,
like very, very fit, surfing a lot, working out a lot, partying
a lot, having a really good, good time of things really.
And when I was 30, so I'm almost 40 now, I went on holidays to
Vietnam and got food poisoning and just never got, never got
better. And things just kept getting
worse and worse and worse and worse.
And I went from like 100 kilos to like 60 kilos.
And like, like those pictures of like, you know, concentration
cancer survivors, not to belittle their horrible
experience, of course, mine is nothing like that.
But I was skin and bone, you know, I was spent a lot of time
in and out of hospital and nobody could figure out what was
wrong with me because every time they'd have a look inside,
everything looked fine. It's just I couldn't really
digest food properly, let's say, spent a lot of time in the
bathroom and unable to leave the bathroom, let's say, for ease
and ease and being in constant very bad pain, being really
nauseous all the time. Eventually, because I don't know
what it is about doctors. I'm not a doctor, I'm a teacher.
I'm a linguist and a teacher, but I just spent a lot of time
reading medical journals and saying why don't we do this test
and maybe you should do this test and maybe we should try
this medication. And eventually they found out
that I had Crohn's disease and not mild form of it because
every person of Crohn's disease experiences it in a different
way. And in Australia, in order to
get on the medication that actually works to put you in
remission, you need to fail. A lot of the medications that
don't really work, that they know don't work because they're
really ones that work really well, are very expensive, like
extraordinarily expensive. We're talking 10s of thousands
of dollars a dose needs. Yeah.
So. But, you know, we have some form
of universal health care in Australia.
It's becoming more and more like the American model every year.
But once I could prove that if I took steroids for a year and a
half, if I took chemotherapy tablets and all this sort of
nasty stuff, and I still didn't get better, then they would
approve for the stuff that actually worked.
That the problem is in taking all this other shit for years it
produced other problems. So I'm 37.
That I have the bones of a 96 year old woman.
Wow. So and, you know, that's not
something that will get better. And if I had just been given the
correct medication in the beginning, then we could have
avoided all of that then. Yeah, that's, it's just the way
it is. So finally, you know, with the
correct medication, things are a lot better.
I, my partner gave birth to our little boy.
She's wonderful. And then they noticed that my
blood levels weren't really correct and I was losing a lot
of iron and they thought, OK, well you need an iron infusion,
so that's OK, no problem, I'll have an iron infusion.
And then I had one of those one in a million reactions where
they list all the possible side effects and stuff.
And this wasn't even listed as one of them where I had
something called hyperphosphatemia.
So my body just couldn't retain all of its phosphate.
And it turns out phosphate, it's really important, you kind of
need it to live. So I kept kept passing out,
waking up in different places around the house and stuff and
feeling so weak and getting worse and worse all the time.
Kept going to hospital and they kept sending me back again,
doing my own research and saying, hey, why don't you test
for this while I'm here. And the guy laughed and was
like, you know, the chances of that.
I can't remember the exact number, but it was like a one in
a million sort of thing. I'm like, you know, I kind of
have to insist you do this. And sure enough, that's what I
had. So they're like, oh, we'll send
you home with these tablets and like you.
But look at this journal article.
It says that doesn't work. You need to connect me to a
drip. They give me this for up to
anywhere from one week to nine months.
That or even longer. They don't know how long it
takes to fix. I don't want to.
I like, you know, this isn't a podcast about physical health.
So I'll kind of skip forward a little bit that eventually after
going back and forth a million times, they listen to what I
said, even though I'm not the doctor and I had to stay in
hospital connected to a drip 24/7 because every time they
disconnect me, I would just fall unconscious and you know, would
eventually then slip into a coma and then eventually die.
And the effects of not having phosphate meant that, you know,
I couldn't, I had a lot of trouble staying conscious when
people, two people would be talking to each other.
I couldn't follow the conversation, you know, and I'm
sitting there thinking, this isn't good.
I like, I don't know where my this is heading now, because if
I can't understand speech, I'm a linguist, that's not going to be
very good. And what is my life going to
look like? And I had memory of a goldfish
and, you know, things weren't looking good for me at all.
And then they, they kept saying, oh, there's something wrong with
your liver as well, that we think you have this thing called
TCS or something. And the doctor with no bedside
manner was like, oh, you know, you probably have 10 years or
less to live with this and you'll need a liver transplant.
But they won't give you a liver transplant because of your other
illnesses. And turns out I don't have that
thing. My liver was going crazy.
Bloody hell. And then just thinking that
sitting there being like, you know, my life is over basically.
And I'm like, I've got a little boy.
I can't, you know, I can't think like this.
I've got to do something. I can't read, I can't watch TV.
What am I going to do? So I thought, you know, oh,
Warhammer, Remember Warhammer, you like Warhammer.
So it's just like, you know, I like podcasts.
There must be some sort of Warhammer podcasts or something.
Remember just typing in, I remember exactly what I typed
in, but kind of command popped up alongside our bedroom
battlefields as well. And I remember listening to a
lot of that and not being able to follow anything.
Kind of just listening to the same episodes again and again
and again. But eventually I could
understand more and more and it was it.
It really helped with my recovery because it gave me like
a world to sort of lose myself in really.
And what I really love about Warhammer is just like that
feeling of, you know, when you're a kid and that extreme
awe, like in the original meaning of the word awe and
wonder at these new fantasy worlds and being able to lose
yourself in them. And that, you know, that extreme
excitement or something that as an adult you don't really get
anymore, or it's very rare to get something like that.
So being able to relive that again as an adult really gave me
like a lot of hope in a, a really a really sort of dark
place. And, you know, even like, like
then, you know, listening, listening, finding out.
Oh, there's a discord community. I didn't, I use Discord once or
twice just if I'm playing a computer game with, with a
friend just together during COVID just to be able to talk at
the same time without using a mobile phone.
So I didn't really know how to use it exactly.
But you know, it's you figure it out and just being like, oh, you
know, there's a lot of people in here and they all like the same
things. I like, you know, the older sort
of stuff that doesn't exist to me.
Well, I didn't know that people even like that stuff anymore,
you know, especially, you know, things like third edition that,
you know, I'd never played. I'd always dreamt of playing
even as a kid. I remember they had little a
little glass box at the back of the store in George Street and
they had the earlier editions with the models there.
And I remember just I'd spent so much time just they even had
first edition like the rule books there behind with a few
models from then and a few from 2nd and 3rd.
I'm just staring at that was my favorite thing to stare at just
the older models. I think a lot of that also has
to do with the way my brain works.
I, I, I like older things in general, like being a linguist.
I, I forgot I learned my ancient languages, you know, for fun, or
at least I used to because that it's another thing where that
sort of ties in as well because being, being a linguist was such
a, a core integral part of who I was and I used to get so much
enjoyment from that. But ever since this hospital
stay, I've lost that ability, like medications I'm on and
stuff. I, I can't absorb language like
I used to. So you know, when you lose that
huge part of your core identity of who you are, it's a big sort
of blow that a lot of the joy I used to get from linguistics and
languages I get now from Warhammer, which is amazing
because at the time I thought I'd never be able to replace
this that that I have. I'm excited to announce the
return of the Hirohammer Fanzine Issue 4, which is due in March
of 2025. If you have never heard of the
Hirohammer fanzine, then please visit
hirohammerhyphenfanzine.com to download your free copy of the
first three issues today. And thank you to all the people
that have reached out to help contribute to our hobby
magazine. Now let's get back to the show.
You're talking about being a linguist.
Yeah. Lost.
Yeah, lost. A little bit of that.
Yeah, lost that, but replaced it with this, right.
And, you know, when, when you're somebody who's chronically ill
and you're sort of always sick, you, you tend to lose a lot of
friends because, you know, people invite you out to things
and, and you can't do it or you're too ill and eventually
you stop being invited to things.
You know, it's a good way to sort of find out who your real
friends are, you know, So I'm grateful for that as well
because I still do have a lot of, I still have a few really,
really good friends, you know, you know, not being able to
drink alcohol, not being able to eat normal food a lot of the
time, not being able to travel. It's kind of being that that
proverbial frog in the boiling water where one by one or all
the things you love get taken away from you, You know, even to
the point that I can't surf anymore.
I can't body surf, I can't ride a bicycle.
If I fall over, my my bones will break.
So it's, you think, you know, I used to home brew a lot.
You know, I used to love, love beer.
I used to, I lived in Germany for a few years and you know,
I'd really, really like beer. I just can't drink it anymore.
What a shame mate. Yeah.
Yeah, it's very upsetting, but there there are some Silver
Linings though I I do qualify for medicinal cannabis in
Australia, so. Hey, that's the way I'll I'll
swap it. I'll try it for that any day
mate. That's not at least that that,
you know, I think that with this, with this hobby that even
if you're extremely ill, you can still paint a miniature, right?
You can read a book, you can look at some beautiful
miniatures. You can lose yourself in some
John Blanche artwork. You know, you can chat with
people on on Discord about the hobby that you love.
And then you can plan to meet up when you're feeling a bit better
and play some games, you know, which is what it's all about.
And so I feel like I've gotten so much back from this hobby
that it's something that I, I can, I will always still be able
to enjoy, you know, and I owe a lot of that to you and to kind
of. So I'll be further grateful for
that because I think that's wonderful, man.
Through this whole experience, it's, it's helped me sort of
accept my situation instead of being angry and, and feeling
like a victim. I, I can accept the way things
are and I can still get a lot of joy out of life and I can still
have a, a beautiful passion that can cost a lot of money.
That is, it's beautiful. You know what I'd be doing
otherwise, like drinking beer in a pub, you know, which is fun,
don't get me wrong, but it's not, not compared to the
satisfaction of like completing a regiment, you know?
And when I was a kid, I never really liked some the painting
side of it. It was sort of something I had
to do, you know, sometimes I'll just spray paint one side green,
one side red, boom, there we go. Now we complain I was all about
the gaming and, and even getting back into the hobby now I was
always like, oh, you know, maybe I can just buy a completed army
already and let's get into it. Like I was very intimidated by a
very dear friend of mine who I've got onto the server Cannon
Star. He, he's an, he's an amazing
artist and he taught me about web palettes and mixing colours
and, and I've found now that like one of the greatest joys I
get from the hobby is the painting aspect of it.
I find it very meditative. And you can, you know, you sit
there, nothing else matters. So there's no worries or you're
not thinking about yesterday, you're not thinking about
tomorrow. You're just focusing on, on
what's in front of you, you know, and I've never been, I've
never thought of myself as an artistic or really a creative
person that I've, this is proving me wrong.
You know, I'm really enjoying learning about this aspect of
myself. I didn't know that existed.
Getting a lot of joy out of it. And there's one, one last thing
I was, I think it's, it's a little bit more that, that I, I
actually think there's some beauty to it as well.
I think, you know, I always loved, let's say, the the the
sort of more of the the good guys sort of factions in in
Warhammer, you know, especially hail so empire would else that I
I found this. I think this sort of happened
subconsciously and became more more conscious as things have
gone on. That as a way, particularly last
year when when I really thought I might not be around for very
long, I found a way of sort of embracing my mortality and
becoming more comfortable with the the idea of death and the
illness was by painting skeletons, painting zombies.
So. Say you're like a necromancer
now, Emil. Yeah, I am slowly turning into a
Heinrich Chandler that yeah. Exactly, Yeah.
But I, but I think it's sort of like it's a way of facing fear
and uncertainty and learning to, to love it.
And in a weird way, it's very morbid, but I actually think
it's kind of beautiful. So now I'm building my undead
army. I'm all about the undead.
And I'm probably about halfway to, I mean, there's no
completion and I haven't actually worked out the points
because as a third edition enthusiast, the, the points
don't really matter as much. I mean, like there's, you can't
work it out with points, But it's more about just putting
some minis on the table, playing out a narrative and, and seeing
what happens. You know, I'm the kind of game
of that I, I, when I play, when I've been playing more time,
it's been mostly what I've been playing since I got back in the
hobby just because of the quickest and easiest thing to
get into, because you don't need to paint that many minutes is,
you know, getting so into the narrative of it that you're
you're kind of doing what you think they would be doing and
playing to character, which I really like.
And you know, some of the best games I've ever had of more time
I've lost. Yeah.
You know, I, I don't care about winning or losing.
It's just about rolling dice and having fun and building a
narrative and, and kind of getting lost in that.
And you know, making friends and having social interactions,
having something to look forward to, which is it's this, this
whole hobby has been becomes a big the solace to me.
I would say sort of fills the place that our languages used to
do for me, which is wonderful. Yeah, nice mate.
It's wonderful that you found. I'm really happy you found
Carnifex and the whole group of guys down there.
Yeah, to actually game with and interact and have a social
outlet for yourself. Yeah.
It's not home, it's not work. It's it's something that you can
indulge your hobby. You know, and what most people
do, you know, they, they go to a restaurant or a pub or whatever
and have a beer and a steak. And a lot of the time I, I can't
do that. And it's not really fun to watch
other people doing things that you used to love and can't do.
But with, you know, gaming, there's none of that.
There's no alcohol, there's no food.
Or if there is food, you're not really paying attention to it.
You're just getting lost in the in the joy of the game.
Well, I was going to say medical marijuana and Mordheim would be
a wonderful series you guys could start.
You take a hit of the powder from the bong, and then you blow
the smoke across the battlefield and gives that a mercifully.
Yeah, exactly. I really want to say, I want to
say I want to see kind of effects stoned off his off his
head playing Mordheim. I think that'll be just
fantastic. That'll be great podcast series,
actually, Yeah. I think, I think we'd have to do
that in my garage, but I think we could probably get away with
it there. Yeah, yeah.
Nice. But that that.
'D be a. That'd be a really good way to
get immersed in it. Yeah, literally yourself.
I'm pretty sure that's what the the original like Rick Priestley
and that used to get up to back in the 80s in the studio.
Oh. Richard Halliwell did.
Richard Halliwell. Yeah.
Richard Halliwell was a big smoker, Yeah.
So yeah, If you're wondering why those rules are so wacky and
weird, it's because he was mostly high during work hours
developing. I think some some of those
images were actually made with like the smoke, other joints are
being blown over. Yeah.
So really we're we're being true to the the origins of the game
by doing that. Yep, Yep, absolutely.
Yeah. So yeah, mate, I'll I'll be
happily, happily to swap beer out for medical, medical
marijuana. That'd be wonderful.
But. Better for your guts as well,
yeah? Exactly.
Yeah. Better for my back.
It's wonderful. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's it's it's quite good for a lot of things it gives.
It is, mate. It is.
Yeah. I used to be a bit of a bit of a
hippie back in the day, a bit of a Stoner.
Yeah, playing PlayStation, PlayStation and marijuana with
my two best friends when, when I didn't have games to play and
or, you know, just painting or whatever.
But yeah, it was good. High times, mate, Good times.
They were. Yeah, I enjoyed that.
Can't do that anymore though. I got arrested in Japan.
Yeah, I think it's pretty hardcore in Japan.
Yeah, yeah, you can't do that here.
No, so but yeah, mate, it's. But at least like you say, I
know you want to talk a bit about like mental health, at
least it gave you that outlet to improve, not just, you know,
your physical health had stabilized to a degree that you
could live your life and work and you know, that kind of
thing. But obviously the gaming
improved your mental health. Big time.
Yeah. You have to have something to
look forward to, you know, you have something to work towards.
And also just sitting there and and painting the miniatures as a
form of meditation. I'm just sitting there dreading,
dreading beginning thing like this is going to be so terrible.
And my first miniature was terrible and I I have kept he's
on my shelf behind me. He he, he's one of those Euro
Quest zombies. And I I just came from there as
a reminder because every new miniature I paint, I can look at
the difference to see where I was not that long ago to where
I've come. You know, I'm, I'm not an
amazing painter at all, but I'm, I'm, I'm getting quite happy
with how my miniatures are starting to turn out.
Yeah, you know, helps with the immersion when you're playing
and you know, nothing is more beautiful than a a table full of
nice well painted minis. Yep, absolutely.
Yeah, and yeah, with with Trecon effects as well and starting to
look at 2nd and 40K Cool. Even going further back than
that. I've got a Rogue Trader rule
book as well and going to try and make sense of it.
And we're going to have a have a go of that at some point as
well. Got a dear friend of mine went
to the movies not to that week or so ago and he just presented
me with 3D printed high off Nanowar Free Fleet.
So that's another one to look forward to.
It's also working on printing out wallmaster armies.
I'll finally get my my High Elves again for wallmaster.
I think at a lower sort of smaller scale they might not be
so intimidating. We're.
Going to look at Epic as well at some point.
You know the Sky's the limit. So many games to play.
Yeah, exactly, man. So many armies to build and have
fun with. Yeah, well, it's, it's just good
that you get, you just got back in the hobby, mate.
That's the, that's the greatest thing.
I'm, I, I still remember your first message you sent me on
Discord about, you know, your situation and that you found
discover the podcast and that that just improved your whole
outlook on things and you had something to look forward to
again in terms of, you know, regular life.
Even now when I'm getting a little bit snappy or angry or
something because I'm in pain or whatever, my partner's like, go
go to the garage, do some painting.
Get the bong out, get some wait ministers out, but not even.
Until there's no I generally don't use marijuana when I'm
painting. That might, that might, that
might be something to explore. I wonder that's.
Right. But I, but I, I, I come back,
you know, feeling better. Yeah.
You know, just sitting there and, and zoning out and just
listening to a podcast, listening to the Chronic Command
or you know, I would have a fiction podcast or chatting to
some of the guys on Discord. You know, it's nice, you know,
make friends from all over the world now, which is a nice
experience. Yep, absolutely mate.
That's one thing I can take away from it.
That's so you. Know great people, yeah.
Yeah. And I think, you know, the
Internet can be, especially nowadays, a rather sort of
unfriendly place, you know, full of trolls and, and not so nice
people. But I've, I've never experienced
anything like that in any of the old Hammer sort of communities
or in our community. Everyone is just so lovely and
so nice. And so what's really struck me
is people's generosity. You know, people you're like,
oh, I've always wanted to have this thing or whatever.
And someone's like, oh, I've got it, here you go.
You can have it for free. And you're just like, seriously.
They're like, yeah, like I'm not going to use it.
I've, you know, go nuts or, you know, use this old white dwarf
or, or, you know, this beautiful siege book I've been dreaming of
getting and I had no chance of affording it on eBay and, and
you know, you sent it out to me so.
Yeah, well, that's it's just. That sort of thing.
And I'm, I'm reciprocating that where I can, you know, with the
old miniatures, I'm not going to use and send them out to people.
You know, I just really like this song, this sort of
community that you've built, You know, it's, it's, it's a
wonderful place. It's a nice place to be.
I look forward to being a part part of it for many years to
come. Good on you mate.
I hope so. I hope so.
I hope I, I hope I can keep doing this for many years to
come. But as I said, it's just not me.
It's it's the whole group of us. It's everybody.
It's not just one person. Like I said, I like having other
people's voices on the podcast. I like other people's
contributions in other ways. It's it's a very much a
community driven thing because without everyone there, there is
no crown of command that, you know, it's just a madman in
Japan, as it were, you know, playing some games on his own or
whatever. But yeah, that that everyone
together makes it such a much a much more enriching experience,
I think. And you learn a lot of things
and from different perspectives, different backgrounds, how
people got into the hobby, what they get out of the hobby, you
know, And it's always really inspiring.
And even sitting, sitting there thinking like, how am I going to
get this effect on this mini? Like I've tried it 200 times and
I just can't get it. And someone in the painting chat
is just like, oh, here you go. Have a look at this.
Do it like this. Or like learning how to use
contrast pains because I've never heard of them.
They didn't exist when I was a kid, you know, and I love them
now. I use them a lot, not
exclusively, I still love the old, old, old style of building
layers and highlighting as well. But I use a lot of contrast
painting and it's just learning different colours, mixing them
to mixing them together to get the sort of effect that you want
and playing around with, you know, the contrast mediums and
the alarming, whatever it's called, mediums.
And just just to get different sort of effects.
Learning how to use a wet palette, how to make some
terrain, how to get into 3D printing, all this sort of
stuff. Yep, Yep.
Nice. That's great, a nice sharing,
giving community, nice place to learn, nice place to share, just
a nice place to chat, make friends.
Yep, absolutely. Yeah, I, I totally agree with
you. I totally agree in terms of
like, you know, the Internet being it can be a place where
there are a lot of unfriendly, nasty type of content or people
posting or whatever. But there are there are pockets
where that's not the case. And like I said, I think the old
hammer Facebook groups and on Discord, especially because I
always say, you know, Discord is one of my favorite places
because there's no meta, there's no advertising, there's no,
well, they're, they've got like an AI bot there, but it's very
much its own, its own space. And you don't have all the other
influences out there that sort of dragging you down into other.
I, I think, I think that's a that's a shame because the, the
like Oldhammer sort of community groups and Facebook are lovely,
but I just, I can't handle everything else popping up.
Yeah, yeah. You know, and, and then I'll be
strolling being like beautiful miniature, beautiful miniature.
And then there's just this, you know, a video of somebody
chopping wood and it's done in a way that's mesmerizing.
So you keep watching it and before you know it, you spend 10
minutes doing that and you're like, what am I doing?
I don't want to watch somebody chopping wood.
I want to look at some minis. I've just, I've kind of given up
on the, on the Facebook groups now.
I'll just stick with the discord, which, you know, it's
nice. It's, it's well moderated.
There's no, there's no nasty stuff, there's nothing popping
up. Yeah, we don't really have
moderation because there's no need for moderating.
Self moderated, yeah. It's all pretty much self
moderated. Yeah, we all got all great guys
and maybe women, I don't know in the group.
But yeah, no, we don't have to moderate anything.
That's the beauty of it. We're all sort of like minded.
We're all from the same similar generations.
I think maybe. I think that makes a big, big
difference too. But we do have younger members
too, you know, we've got Marcel the Younger over in Poland there
who's a big old Hammer fan. I've had him on the podcast many
years ago. So yeah, we've got different
generations of people there, so that's nice as well.
We've got older grognards like me, and we've got younger,
younger grognards out there too, you know?
And it's always fascinating when I find someone like yourself
too. I mean, let someone's a lot
younger who discovered old Hammer and just fell in love
with old Hammer, you know, I think that's really nice that
they sort of went back from their starting point because
usually people get in the hobby when their starting point and go
forward. But it's nice to hear people go
back and discover something they've never seen before and
they really like it. Yeah, it's just that that's just
the whole sort of ethos of it. Oh, this is to have fun.
It's a narrative and you know, you don't even need to use our
miniatures, but you've got some cut out, cut out tokens in the
back of the book that you can just use those instead.
You don't need to buy anything, you know, and there's all the
humor throughout it. And if it's looked at any of the
modern stuff, it's all, I don't know if I, if this is correct,
but it looks like it's AI created art and the law just
kind of looks the same and there's no sort of humor to it.
And you know, I, I do like the dark, grim dark aspect, but it's
kind of gone too dark, if that makes sense.
Like you can't even tell the miniatures what the miniatures
are on the table because everything is just sort of dark.
Yes, yeah. And I'll, I'll say I'll plug
someone here very quickly too. If you go to our fan art channel
on our Discord, there's a guy called Peter from Sweden who's a
professional artist and his stuff is just incredible.
The stuff he's drawing is just amazing, but it's all in that
same sort of style, Old Hammer artwork, you know?
Yeah, I just think there's, there's something to it even
same with the miniatures. Then you can look at some of the
modern miniatures like I, I even bought some of the some of the
modern AOS ones because I thought they they looked really
nice. And then they, they, when you
pull them out and you put them up next to some of the old ones,
like I bought, I kind of remember what they called the,
the ghost looking ones based on all of them, John Blanch's
artwork. And they, they look lovely.
But then when you hold up like a piece of lead from the 80s or
90s and you just like, you know, comparison, you know, the
character that's being put into it.
And even even the, the sensation of painting it, I find these,
the 3D Craftsman are just too smooth.
There's nothing, there's not enough texture and there's
nothing like it's, it's not a nice an experience to paint.
And you know, and there's something about the weight of
them, you know, the physical weight it kind of gives us.
I don't know exactly, but you know, a lot of the ones I'm
painting are those, those skeletons from the 80s.
So they don't weigh very much. But if you compare them to the
modern skeletons, there's just no comparison.
They're just, they're gorgeous. The old ones, they're just so
brutal. That's the problem.
Yeah, the. Problem I've been having with
them is just I buy them in lots and I get get lucky.
Sometimes it's a really good price and sometimes you know,
that's, that's less than a dollar of skeletons at times,
but that somebody else has painted them.
And for me, I know some people share this aspect and some
people don't. But just for me personally, I
feel like I don't own a miniature until I've painted it.
Everybody's different, but that I for me personally, like it's,
I kind of get to know the miniature through the process of
painting it. And we kind of, I don't know,
like develop a bond in that way. And what I've completed, it's
like this is something I have created.
You know, the problem is that they're so brutal that I'm
having so much trouble removing the old paint jobs.
So I end up just painting over them.
Very, very. Carefully.
That's a good idea. That's a good idea.
That's what. I would do too.
I find you can get away with a lot of it, but some of them,
some of them you just really have to try your best to get the
paint off them because they're just being painted by a 12 year
old and they've just like I can't see any of the features
anymore. But that's why the lead minions
are good, because you just Chuck them in a bucket of acetone and
they come out beautiful. Yep, Yep, that's right.
You can't go wrong with lead. That's it, mate.
That's what I think too. So praise the lead gods for our
lead miniatures. That's a process, yeah.
Just kind of can't afford them, unfortunately.
Yeah, You know, everyone kicks themselves, as many people.
I've heard you interviews say the same thing.
I just remember a few times where I've hesitantly thought I
want to get back into the hobby over the years and looking at
the prices of of them. I remember maybe 10 years ago
saying that maybe a 1 1/2 thousand 2000 point high off
army, beautifully painted like 150 bucks and being like, Nah,
it's too expensive. And then be like, why didn't I
buy it? You know why didn't I buy that?
It's a steal. Someone's giving it away, Yeah.
I know. But this, I think this is just
as you know, the the old world was destroyed and a lot of
people were just like, Nah, stuff is getting rid of all my
stuff. And I think I, I, I regret not
getting into the hobby earlier, like during COVID would have
been the perfect opportunity. That's.
Yeah. I'm just happy I got in when I
did because you know, from everything it's given me and the
longer I would have waited the the more it would have become
impossible price wise I think. Yeah, yeah, it makes.
You appreciate. The the stuff you have got the
IT makes you, it does make you appreciate the lead models you
do have, Yeah. And you?
Never, never get rid of those ones.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Yeah. And also, you know, a lot of
these second proxy sort of miniatures from these other a
lot of them I've learned about from, you know, this community
and made in the old Hammer style.
True, you know, more affordable. Let's say they're beautiful.
You know, I've never never even considered playing with
miniatures that weren't Games Workshop.
But I don't really I've realized I don't really care as long as
they had that old hammer look to them.
They could have been made yesterday unhappy with them, you
know? So I've found found quite a few
nice pieces from my army from from some of those
recommendations from here. Good.
Mate, that's great. Excellent.
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with some of the some of the stuff
being made now from Nightmare Games and.
That's a good one, Yeah. And 9998 games is excellent.
That's an excellent stuff from there.
Yeah. And there's, yeah, there's,
there's so many now that have popped up or I've discovered.
So there's just a wealth of, of old Hammer, not replicas, but
you know, in the same theme or style as the old Hammer models
just created in in modern times. So, you know, there's, there's
loads of stuff out there for people to get into.
And yeah, I really want to support and help out the guys
who are still making metal models because as you know, in
the UK especially, they're sort of a dying breed, those
companies, because obviously metal prices go up or the
material costs go up and it's it's sort of forcing them out of
business. So the more people that can
support them, the more they're going to be around and you know
that that'll be just better for the hobby, I think.
Definitely. Well, Emil, it's been really
wonderful to talk to you, mate. I appreciate your time today and
for coming on to tell us all about your story.
Yeah, thanks. Thanks very much for having me.
It's been privilege coming on. And you know, again, thank you
for everything you've done for the community and.
Through that, everything you've done for me, it's made a big
difference to my quality of life and I'll be forever grateful for
that. I'm very happy to hear that.
So you keep the bong and the miniatures in the garage on
standby if you need to break out and, and to, to escape the world
and find a better place, because that's what I like to do in my
little man cave here in the create command studios in the
bunker, Come and paint some miniatures and escape, escape
everything from outside. It's wonderful.
And I'm just glad that your life is back on track, mate.
Your quality of life is getting better and, and I hope that will
just improve over time, you know, But if anything, you've
got the hobby there and a great bunch of guys to to connect
with. Now you've got Ken, we're going
to call him Krell Now that's your that's your, that's your
life heterospectual life partner.
You know, your best buddy in your, your camela and what's
what's kind of well, you got kind effects got lots of KS here
actually kill Creme. So we're gonna, we're gonna have
that Mordheim or Warhammer quest game.
I, I, I enjoyed seeing your photos of the, the club days
with you guys getting to play. I think it was, I think it was
Warhammer Quest you played last time.
No, it's more time. What was it?
They. They.
Yeah, they, yeah, they that, that is played in the club, but
I have not yet played that. But that's again one of one of
the games that's due to play at some point soon.
Wonderful. OK, well, I'm I'm really, really
glad you found those guys that kind of fixes taking, taking you
under his wing and got you guys playing.
So let's let's make 2025 the year of the old hammer and let's
get some games of one the third edition played.
And you're going to help us with a siege game as well.
You're going to be Gming us in a siege game sometime at some
point this year. I've got to get my mighty
fortress painted up as well in in in preparation for that.
But just don't. Spray paint it.
Yeah, no, I'm not going to spray paint it.
No, I I actually found actually found images of my old, my
original one that the guy I sold it to is selling it now in
Australia. But it didn't look too bad.
Actually I was quite, I was quite impressed with it.
It looked. Pretty plastic one or Styrofoam.
No Styrofoam, the original 1. I bought it years and years ago
on eBay in the UK for not so much money back then.
But then I did. I coated it with textured paint
and sprayed it over the top, but the textured paint sort of
filled up all the all the brickwork and everything,
unfortunately. So it was, but it was good.
I I enjoyed doing it. That was during my sort of old
Hammer collecting days back in the 2000s, somewhere around
there. But anyhow.
But yeah, we're going to, we're going to make 2025 the year of
old Hammer make for sure 3rd edition fantasy 1 role play,
first edition Rogue trade. I played that once, enjoyed it.
Want to play it again? Yeah, Adaptors Titanic has
played that. Loved that, although it was
fantastic. So yes, the year of the old
hammer, mate. Let's do it.
Awesome. Look forward to.
It OK my friend. Well I'll I'll catch up with you
soon again on discord but until then look after yourself and get
some more skelly bobs painted. Shall do.
Thanks mate, take care.