Hi everybody. It's me.
Katie sort well. Hello, it's me.
Hey dude. Hey Eric, do you want to tell
him the news? Yeah, we got nominated for
world's best podcast intro, right?
Yes, that what it was? This one right here.
That's what we've been nominated.
This one. I don't know if that's how the
timing works on. That was, is it the TVA giving
us this award? Hashtag lucky do.
But actually, we've been nominated for best educational
podcast. I'm over at the People's Choice
podcast Awards, which is pretty cool.
And so, if you want to vote for us in a spectacular ADHD move,
we found out that we had been nominated on the 26th of July
and voting closes on the 31st. So do we think anything is going
to come of this? No.
Is this a very funny ADHD thing to happen?
Yes indeed. So if you want to vote, you can
visit podcast. Words.com or or you can go to
infinite Quest podcast.com we have a link there to vote as
well and also our tour dates schedule.
If you want to know where we're going to be going on tour and
stuff in the coming months so yeah.
And we're only nominated in the education category.
So if you want to try and find us, we're in the Seas, not the
eyes were in the Seas for Katie and Erickson, vinick West in the
education Tab. And while you're all looking at
the website, if you wouldn't mind giving a and that's why we
drink, our good friend, M Schultz's, Podcast a little
nomination over in the comedy category.
I'm sure they would appreciate it because and that's why we
drink big big, big Friends of the infoquest podcast, we're
just one big happy podcast family.
Absolutely. I was wondering how high your
voice was gonna get right there. It's pretty good.
I like it a lot because it's my, like, asking for Stuff voice
because I always feel awkward in this episode, we talk about time
blindness in ADHD, one of the more Insidious symptoms of my
mind. And at the very beginning, we
talked a little bit about Simone biles withdrawing from the
Olympics due to Mental Health. Concerns because she's a badass
in its World warns talking about and she's a very public figure
who has ADHD and is like, pretty sick about it.
So we thought we thought we'd give her some love in this
episode. Anyways, without further Ado,
enjoy the rest of this year. Episode everybody, happy
Thursday. Hello everybody.
Welcome back to infinite quests. I'm hey, Gordon.
I would I'm Katie. Is Horace, is it backwards that
time we did the opposite of what I thought were gonna do a
delightful in media res opening. I didn't know.
We're going to start with an official start.
Did that feel official? It felt kind of additional felt
really official. Normally we just bullshit around
for like 15 minutes first It season 2.
We gotta make it. We gotta make it legit, okay?
Today, I'm going to focus when we talking about time blindness
that is often associated with ADHD.
But first, we wanted to address, Simone biles has dropped out of
the Olympics gymnastics team over mental health concerns.
And I just thought we're a mental health podcast in Simone
biles, publicly has ADHD and is very, I don't know, I guess
proud. I don't know if the proud of
their eye but she's not embarrassed.
She's willing to talk about it and I'm like, yeah.
She's like publicly talked about it publicly talked about it.
Yeah. So what do you think Katie?
Do you have any thoughts? Yeah, you didn't start the Over.
Oh shit. Okay, their timer plus one
minute, you know, I made the mistake of reading a bunch of
like, Reddit threads about it, this morning.
And I always forget that like, over on Tick-Tock, like, we have
this great little insulated corner, where, like, you know,
every so often like a troll wanders in and like, you know,
we kicked them out of the dungeon and it's fine but like
wow. Now, people are being unkind in
like a really profound way in a way that has been like, frankly
really upsetting to me all day because I just realized like how
much stigma and like misconception and just like
vitriol, there is two people like Simone biles, who are like
open about like I'm struggling with like mental health and like
I have ADHD and like just like the absolute entitlement and
like on. Kindness that people are showing
to this like woman who is just done extraordinary things.
It's like I just makes me really bummed out, yeah.
Also like a weird amount of racism.
Like a weird amount of races really?
Yeah. I've been staying off the
Reddit. It's I don't, I don't recommend
it. It's I like, I was like, I feel
like I need to take a shower, kind of can imagine.
I also, I think I want to stay whenever talking about like a
celebrity's Mental Health. I just want to point out that I
want to respect her like Journey, you know.
Should I don't think she did this to be the poster child like
as a statement. I can't even imagine how hard at
my God Frank. Well like the thing is is like
the reason a lot like there. A lot of gymnasts have been
talking about it like on Reddit. And I were talking about the
fact that like if you lose focus for a second it like the level
that she's performing at like you could die.
Yeah. Like it's not just like oh no
like I fell down. I hurt my foot.
It's like you could fucking snap your neck and died and so it's
like, yeah you're like you know, if you're saying like, oh, I'm
having trouble focusing because of this, like, I meant amount of
pressure but it's like, if you can't find the ground in the
middle of like a quadruple, fucking backflip or whatever,
like you could paralyze yourself or fucking die, and it's like oh
that that's it. Makes it seem a little bit more
serious than like oh you know she's crumbling Under Pressure,
whatever. Like unkind things.
People say. Saying, she's like what she's
concerned? Well, I don't want to speculate
on specifically what her concerns are, but her physical
safety, very much follows from it because of how it's like you
said just how absolutely extraordinary and how high a
level she's performing and it's just incredible and I mean I
cannot Som like that. I always find when advocating
for myself when why and I well I can generalize a little bit when
one is advocating for oneself. What the priorities are and what
should be done. It is always up for review,
like, how tired do I have to be to say Katie I need to take a
nap, you know, because I can always deny that all I'm
actually not tired enough, I'm not whatever enough.
I could always flip it around in my head and I assume that I
actually don't deserve it. I'm just being, you know, week
or some bullshit. So I just can't imagine.
I'm ultimately like I'm proud of her.
Yeah, for me being in like this. Hot the highest of stakes like
you're in the network on the world stage representing
America, you're like America's you perfect, child thing, or
whatever, and to be able to say, like, actually, despite all that
I have enough self-respect in self, whatever to advocate for
myself, I mean that's like high altitude and self self advocacy
right there. It takes an extraordinary amount
of Bravery I think. Yeah.
Also. Hey Eric do you think for season
3, we can get chairs that, don't squeak.
Maybe. Okay.
Well now that we have it for today, we'll see I'll help build
some out of teak. That's that's the kind of idea
HCI. I'm like, why would we buy
chairs? I'm just gonna, I could just
spend three years in that of fine wood.
Yes, indeed. Fine teak.
Take a fine would see, is a very expensive would speak like an
actual tree or is it? Like I was, it was like a type
of doesn't matter. I think it's an actual tree.
I built a bench at a teak, a couple of years ago.
Go. It's like, really, really
naturally resistant to the elements and stuff.
So, like, boats and stuff made out to take expensive wood
treatment. I don't, but I don't know
anything about. I think it's actually a type of
wood, I believe. I'm Googling it right now.
What is, what is Teak? He is a tropical hardwood tree
species, look at that Tech Tona. Grandis I think.
It's friends. Just call it teak.
Yeah. Tropical hardwood tree.
I will, you know, it, will you learn something new every day?
There you go. Also tectonic Rhonda's sounds
like a cool. Cool.
Deejay name. I'll sing.
It sounds like a superhero who can control earthquakes, you
know, Tech, Tommy Tutone a grand is, I feel like it.
That's a good superhero idea is pretty good school type of Tonia
time to shake things up. We start spotting them and old
photos from San Francisco. And her fucking lavis is like
nerdy lab assistant, dr. Richter always, Wayne stuff, was
Wayne stuff with scales. I'm hearing around the scales.
Good idea. What are we supposed to talk
about today? Anyways, Simone biles is, it is,
is a badass right on good job. Not to my opinion.
Means anything to you Simone biles, but then you are fine.
Don't miss an episode. But, you know, good job.
Good job processor. Bring the stigma.
But anyways, we wanted to talk about today is time blindness
because my I feel like the last month or so of my life with all
the moves. And all the thing is, though,
all been very pivoted to has all as all rested on my ability to
manage time and I'm shit at it. So I thought we talked about
time lightness. Yeah, briefly, would you like to
explain what time? But yeah, that's what it is.
It's when clocks are invisible to you.
That's the way it is. Then that's the end of the
episode is Casino. Exactly timeline is basically
refers to a shittiness of it's the technique science.
For Russell Berkeley right there as his words, the shittiness of
rebuild use time but it's the inability to work with time sort
of on a more intuitive level. So, we're aware that there's 60
minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day.
But when we're not thinking about it, we're not actively
looking at a clock or like counting in our head.
It's hard for us to just conceived in a functional way of
like 10 minutes or 1 hour. It's hard for us.
To functionally use those concepts of duration.
So it's basically a profound inability to conceive of in work
with time and that can happen in many ways.
With with ADHD it seems to be either one of two kinds, one
short periods of time seemed very infect long.
Like a five-minute YouTube video.
That seems like it takes for fucking ever because they're
talking slowly. It's true or long periods of
time consumed very short where it's like oh I just talked to my
mom the other day. It's like oh wait a minute.
That was like seven months ago. And they both have their
distinct. Like shittiness has setbacks no
Eric to start this episode. I have a fun activity for you,
what's that? We gotta I forgot to set my
props ahead of time. Oh you got props walk across the
office. Oh gosh obviously this is you
don't need this for the first. Remember handing Me ukulele.
I'm handing your evil. It doesn't matter and I'm doing
that for a second. Oh he's giving you covering the
stopwatch okay okay I want you Eric yes to tell me when 30
seconds has elapsed I'm just handing you the ukulele for no
particular reason. Ready psycho?
All right. That's the mark the start, Mark,
should I be talking while we're doing this?
We would be weird if we just did like, 30 seconds of Silence.
That would be pretty weird, but you're not allowed to look at
your computer or anything. All right, but okay, that's
cool. That's cool.
So Katie what soap is like a visit ticker going over my head,
what are some situations that you find short period of time
feel very long. All the time, constantly all the
time. Yeah.
Like all the time. I feel like.
Well, it's weird because like, I don't know how to describe this,
without sounding like a complete weirdo.
Also has been 30 seconds. It's been 30 seconds.
I'm calling it now. Okay.
Are you sure about that? Yeah.
What was it was? 48, second.
Damn it. I was so, I was overcompensating
shit. I thought it was gonna To be too
short. So I let it go, whatever.
Okay, that's it. I would just gave you the
ukulele later distractions to hold me.
While I did that traction technique fucking exciting.
Um, yeah, just throw unlocks. Okay, I don't know how to
explain this in a way that makes sense, but I feel like all the
time. I feel like all the time, Time
is like, like, whizzing by, like like the speed of light, just
like, whizzing by and so, like, I never have enough of it.
And so, like, I don't know that the time, blindness thing, like,
I'm gonna be really honest. Because I know that I have like,
time blindness in terms of, like, for example, if you tell
me to take a nap and then I'm convinced it's been like 10
minutes and then I opened my eyes and spent like three.
You know, that kind of thing but like I always feel like I'm just
running out of time just perpetually and I don't know how
else like qualify it since. Yeah it does.
I mean in in a way I think how do I say this?
It's it's sort of a double you know versus W.
Don't know, kind of thing. Yeah we're like if I have a
certain amount of time to do a thing, let's say and I could
accurately conceive of like four hours like in a winner,
Functional way it. I might think of that time as
being like Oh that's a really long period of time or really
short period of time, but it's a known quantity and the fact that
I'm aware that I have time blindness and the fact that I'm
aware of the Fenton, you know, my inability to work with time
at a functional level and I'm on an intuitive level.
It's, I'm, I don't trust my feeling about that amount of
time. So I'm like, I don't know.
Is that way too much time? Or is that too little time?
And it like, compounds on itself.
So it's not just like, The, if the initial stress or the
initial weirdness comes from, you know, I have four hours and
that seems like no time at all. Even though it's plenty of time
to like, do the dishes or something like that, the
secondary weirdness in the secondary shitty feeling, I get
from my timeline, this is my awareness that I'm probably
wrong, whatever, I'm thinking, because I can't trust my own
understanding of time. So it's, it's almost like the
fact that it's the fact that, the, the period of time that I
have the period of time, that's left in the day or left's and
Before the deadline, or something like that because I
can't actually just hold it in space.
And, like, go okay, four hours, that's plenty of time.
I just get store, like, I have no idea.
It's almost like somebody just going to bust in the room and
say, like, hey that thing is do right now, like at any moment
and that's so weird. That's a weird thing to put up
with, because it's made worse, by my, thinking about it.
And thinking about stuff is like one of my favorite things to do.
So that's a bit of a catch-22. It's weird because I like, I
struggle with it more in, like, the, like, I don't even know
what the right word to use like it's, you know, like yeah.
Sometimes I'll like, like, I have a hard time feeling the
passage of time in like, a way that like makes sense, but like
for me, the big thing is like long-term time like short short
term time. Like I'm honestly pretty.
Okay at because most of my jobs that I've ever had involves some
sort of like high-performance multitasking.
And so like at the Renaissance Festival, Shovel.
If I had four hours I could get 15 things done or I could get 30
things done and I would like figure out ways to like optimize
my time because I was like, so busy that like I had to just be
like, okay, like timeline is I don't have to, like, literal
actual time for you today, but like now that I'm doing this,
I'll spend three hours making 1/60, s Tick-Tock and just be
like, where the fuck did my day go?
Yeah and That is, that gets really frustrating.
Yeah. But it's always like like I oh I
feel that the most was like emails because like I'll be
like, oh yeah. Oh email that guy back tomorrow
and then it's been like a week and a half and I'm like, fuck.
I forgot to send that email because to me time goes so fast
that like it was yesterday yesterday.
But yesterday was actually a week and a half ago and it's so
frustrating. Oh yeah, you think familiarity
has anything to do with Ability to pursue to perceive time and
conceptualize time. Like if you're in a look so you
had you got a job, your old job at the Renaissance Fair back
like something you were adept at something very familiar with.
Do you think your familiarity with that environment and those
sets of things that you had to do?
Do you think that alleviated your time blindness more?
So than if you were to do something you've never done
before? Yes and no like I mean because I
mean the the demands of that job or like banana pants weird but I
do know that it takes You 17 minutes to get from like the
front gate to like the very top of the hill.
And so like I was able to sort of account for okay, if I need
to get from like the front gate to like stage one, that's a
five-minute walk, you know, stage 2 is like AIDS like and
and and that kind of thing. So like I can build that
schedule out in terms of like, okay, I gotta paint the stage
and hang up the flags and I don't know.
Bring the hay for the horses were, like, whatever I'm doing
that day. But I don't know if it
necessarily has to do with like the environment.
So much is just like my inherent stage manager.
Earnest that comes when like I have the opportunity to like
really sit and plan. Yeah.
Since totally I think for me something that I found myself
doing I didn't plan on doing this but after over the over the
years I've noticed that I do this is that I'll do sort of
what you did. Like it takes me seven minutes
to walk from here to there so while I was working in kitchens,
I would measure time in task. I know how long it takes me to
dice, you know, for onions or something like that.
Yeah, like a minute, 20 seconds, something like that.
Not bragging, just saying, I have never wanted his glove for
onions more in my entire life. But I'm aware of how much, how
long does tasks take? And so, if I need to do
something at, you know, x amount of time, my brain will fit in
those tasks. I'll measure time in tasks
basically. And I would sort of do that
intuitively and so I think associating periods of time you
know conceiving of just a minute and 30 seconds in a vacuum is
very difficult for me but but conceiving of the amount of time
it would take me to do something that takes me a minute and 30
seconds is something that I can do.
So I tend to do that when I'm in a situation that I'm very
familiar with whence asks I'm familiar with I tend to do that
I'll like there's like a conversion rate of like, all
right woman in 30 seconds equals No, I'm I was probably
exaggerating when I sit for Oregon's.
Let's say two dice, two onions. I mean, in 30 seconds equals the
time. It takes to those two onions.
Eight minutes is the time. It takes to start making a pizza
to finish making a pizza, you know?
And so I would sort of translate time into corresponding tasks.
Do you like multiply the increments like if chopping for
onions? Takes like a minute 20 then.
Do you go like okay. Well, that's like 16 onions.
Hmm. Interesting, well, then, let's
What thing about kitchen work is tasks are bookended by setup and
breakdown rate. So like, if if dicing First off,
dicing to onions from a clean station, a completely empty
surface. That means getting a cutting
board taking out the correct knife, you know, owning the
knife, putting your thing, getting the container to dice
the onions, cleaning the onions, all that stuff, the actual
dicing once knife, enters hand minute, 30 seconds, but then
after that clean up, break down bring the thing to the to the
dish pit. So, if it takes me, you know,
absolute very, very start of the task grabbing The Cutting Board
to very very finished. It looked like For happened in
the task is gun, will say, 10 minutes, dicing for onions
wouldn't take 20 minutes, you know, double the amount of
onions or it would take just that little period more.
So anyways that's a very specific question but answer
your question it doesn't quite stack.
However it did want one of my old like cook mentors.
Chef mentors said, do all your knife work at once which is
something that I try to extrapolate into my everyday
life because it takes time to set up the cutting board and all
the stuff and so if you set up the cutting board to do a thing,
break it all down, and then turns out later, you had more
knife work to do it. You have to then break out.
So what do all your knife work at once when you're set up?
So I try to extrapolate that. Like, if I have phone calls to
make, I'll make all my phone calls at once because it takes
mental energy to shift gears into phone call mode.
So, once I've done that and I'm in phone, call mode, might as
well make all my phone calls. I aspire to do that.
I don't always do that other of ever been Times when you feel
that you really offended somebody because of your
timeline looks simply constantly.
I trained really hard to like, not be late for things because
my mom is serial o. Be late for everything, but like
in a hilarious way where she's constantly shocked that like
they didn't wait for her to start the movie, it's like the
movie theater, you know what I mean?
Like, that kind of thing. And so like I hate being late
like I have like a physical anxiety response to being late
because I just I fucking hate. I think it's so rude and so
shitty. But sometimes I really, you
know, I feel bad. But the big thing for me is like
correspondence and like, staying in touch with people because
it's, like, what I was talking about earlier, like, oh, I'll
send that text tomorrow or I'll shoot them, an email tomorrow.
And then it's like, oh, fuck. It's been like three weeks or,
like two months, or three months, or four months.
And then it's like that weird feeling of like, hey, I wasn't
trying to ignore you or ghost, you I just didn't have the
fucking mental energy. To send a text message and then
you feel like an idiot. You know what I mean?
I'm so, yeah. Like that.
Like yeah, I think I've I think I'm offended a lot of people and
it's usually people that like, I really care about which is like
the shitty things is like if some like random, you know,
business or something like yeah, sure.
I should probably get back to them at some point but it's like
the people that I care about those are the people that keep
consistently hurting. And so, like, I try really hard
to be like good about it, but like, Oftentimes, I'm not and
like I know that about myself and so I work really hard but
like, I still know that that's a place.
Where, like, I really struggle. Hmm.
What do you say to those people usually lie.
I'm not gonna lie to you. Like I usually like I usually
have like, I have like, a arsenal of like convoluted
stories about like why couldn't possibly like send a text
message or like, send an email or like get the thing done or
like what? Her.
And I feel bad but like, sometimes I feel like it's
easier to be like, oh, sorry. There was a thunderstorm in my
internet went out, which is plausible, as opposed to being
like, I forgot you existed because that's hurtful.
Yeah, you know, but it like that's the reality in which I
live is like I really deal with like emotional permanent stuff.
And like if I'm not talking to a person like every single day it
is very easy for me to just be like you don't exist until I'm
reminded that you Exist. Usually, because like, the
little notification, pop-up of like, oh shit, this is about in
my thing for, you know, weeks. Yeah.
I feel bad. So, I just, I just tell like a
lull. I feel like a little white liar.
I don't advocate for it, but sometimes like a little white
lie is less hurtful that like the truth, especially if like
the person that you're talking to, you doesn't necessarily get
neurodivergent. See, you know what I mean?
And I was like, well, I don't know.
I think that makes me a terrible person.
I'm not sure I'm quite positive. Quite positive, I think time
blindness and struggling with emotional.
Permanence is just a dynamic duo of fucking up, relationships
with other people and it's like, and I turn really hard, like, I
turned really hard to be like cognizant.
Like one of the things that has started like really frustrated
me and this is really dumb story, but it's a great example,
is like my phone shows, like, 10 texts messages at a time and
like For whatever reason is, much, as I've tried to, like
block them and delete them and like, whatever.
I get a lot of, like, spam text messages now, which is a thing
that I've never had to deal with before.
And so, like, I'll check my messages and I'll see like, oh,
spam, spam spam and so, like, close my phone, but what the I
don't realize is, like, in the time between, because time,
blindness in, what I think is like the hour since I've checked
my phone, which is actually like the seven hours or eight hours,
I've gotten 10 of those. And the one text message that I
need to see is like, just below the like view line.
And so I constantly mix Miss text messages from people and
then I don't respond for days because I just go, oh, it's all
spam. And it's like, I need to be
better about like setting a schedule being like, okay.
Today I'm going to like your, you know, I'm going to check my
text messages it like this time. This time and this time, but
it's just like, there's just something about like the wall of
spam and and that that it's just makes me like really difficult
and it's just silly and I The silly admitting that but like
it's a really big problem as I just constantly Miss messages
from people because they're buried under other shit.
Hmm. So before you said that you felt
that when you were in the Georgia Renaissance Faire only
write a job like that you were pretty good at working with
time, all things considered. Yeah.
You had your, you know, methods in place.
Are there any periods of your life?
Where you felt that your perception of time was
particularly bad? And if so what do you think that
was Why are you interviewing me every mode?
I don't know. It.
I can't I can't decide when it happens.
It's weird. I mean I'll answer it.
But I thought it was gonna be like here hanging out.
Maybe you should try asking me a fucking question.
Uh, no, I'm good. I'm totally messing with you,
please. I love asking questions.
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really bad about asking
questions if people don't know, but we don't bother at all.
I'm I have a whole list of notes about Skip timing and stuff.
So I'm taking charge blacking, I'm doing.
I'm doing time blocking. And this Episode and doing a new
Venture into trying to Pace the podcast.
Panic. Ironically it's the far.
I feel like it's going fucking great Katie.
That's good. I think it's going wonderfully.
Cool. What was the question?
Well there any periods in your life that you feel you were
particularly bad about understanding the passing of
time? Um, All the time.
I mean I feel like especially like in grad school, grad
school, got really hard because like I wrapped all of my
self-worth in my like self-esteem and my like whatever
in just being like the best like the like I had to like get
everything done and be like 20 fucking shit all the time and so
that meant like there was a lot of like you know, late night
just head down. Make the costume, look up.
It's like the next morning like that kind of thing.
But also honestly like right now, like with with like
Tick-Tock and like an everything that we're doing in the podcast
and everything, like it's been really hard to like, notice how
much time I'm spending. And so I started counting how
many hours a week I'm putting into this and it's an upsetting
number. So I stopped counting because I
was like oh that doesn't feel good inside my brain.
So we're just gonna ignore that. But yeah.
Right now is tough. What about you?
Good job. I think I agree.
I think this current gig this current job.
What we're doing infinite Quest although the most satisfying and
I feel the most important thing I've ever done it is by far the
job that I have been the worst at At, like, I spent years and
years learning to function in a kitchen, despite my ADHD and
timeliness. And now it's sort of like I'm
starting over again particularly because everything involving
content creation is so nonlinear.
Yeah and so we're my time blindness.
You know sometimes very often for me with my ADHD short
periods of time feel very long like a five-minute YouTube video
feels like it takes forever. If I just have to stand there
and wait for like somebody's in the bathroom, that feel It's
excruciating, but one of the times when very long periods of
time feel very short and they have no idea that like three
hours has passed its when it's when I am sussing through
something. I'd like to do in terms of
content creation and then I arrived at one little part of
it, you know, like let's say I'm making a new twitch overlay for
Minecraft or something like that.
I'll spend like four and a half hours just making the one.
All green screen dude, running across the screen and it's
because I feel like it's because since I'm being productive I'm
like not going to be hard on myself or what I'm doing.
It's like hey this is a productive thing to do.
I'm glad I'm doing this but it's not like efficiently productive.
So while I'm like patting myself on the back for like, oh look
at, I've been working like Reagan working hard right now.
Look at that. While I'm doing that, I'm
unaware. That like there was emails.
Ice was supposed to respond to and there were we are all
videos. I was supposed to make it
rampant perfectionist when it comes to stuff.
Like you spend so much time like like that shaving milliseconds
off your Tick-Tock sound like like just just editing the Pod
and I'm just like, I just like, throw up my phone.
Like, you know, it's like, sometimes I like refill more
like reshoot or something, if it's like really bad.
But like, there's a lot of stuff that like, I just don't worry
about because like, I'm like, if because I know, if I start
spending the time on it, that's it.
Like that's the rest of my day is just going to be like getting
it. Absolutely.
And so like I have to just be like, the phone is up.
I have made a Content. Here I go.
Well, I think part of it is specifically when it comes to
like timing and videos. If I pause making a point in a
tick tock or something, if I say a lot of people, they used you
struggle with such and such and there's like a just a half
second. If I finish this last sound of
the last syllable of a clip then listening back to it, I get
bored in that period of time. I swear to God, like, in that
pause, I'll be like, can I say, Oh wait, this is my Tick Tock, I
can't swipe away from it. I'll get bored in that period of
time and that's why I'm so attentive to how much time
bookends Clips because I get bored in that period of time.
Or if I'm talking like on up on this podcast, sometimes I'll be
making a plane and I'll pause to think of a word or something
like that and then I'll start talking again and I'll think
holy shit I just stopped talking for so long.
I'm going to have to go in and find it and cut it out or maybe
I should leave it in so people don't feel as embarrassed when
they do it and then I listen back to it and it was Like an
imperceptible little hesitation. So it looks like it looks like a
really harsh with time blindness or I'll assume the worst in
Timeline that's when it's when it's about critiquing myself
apparently. But with other people like you
know, I'm so sorry. It took so long.
It's like I don't know, I'm always forgiving about other
people. Oh boy, look at that.
You made it to the mill, the episode.
You did such a good job. Could use a good job.
I'm really proud of you. You should have some water.
Yeah, you should take your meds, not some meds.
You should take your meds if you still need to take him today and
also eat some food. Hey if you enjoy infinite Quest
and our mission of advocacy and education and conversation with
neurodivergent, see we have a patreon it's patreon.com slash
infinite Quest and this year especially your support.
Is what is allowing us to go from?
Convention to host panels and conversations and workshops
about inclusivity and neurodivergent.
See, so if you're interested, you can give it a check gold
out. That was good.
That was very angry and humor,
thank you. It's good that stutter at the
end. Anyways, in the rest of the
episode, we talked a little bit about the strategies that we
employ to deal with our time. Blindness, what works and
doesn't work and it's and then at the very end, we actually
disagree a little bit like right at the very end.
Do we get in a little fight or Rito Thats?
Right, and I won. So, I didn't we I was one of
those good fights where we learned.
We weren't actually fighting at all.
The real fight was the friendship that we made along
the way. That's right.
Katie transitioned. Ciao, I guess deal with your
timeline. As you work hard to be on time
to things. What does that look like to you?
Leaving early. I don't know, it's weird because
I get asked the same questions a lot.
I've just he's leaving it in, do it leaving it in.
Now, everybody knows what I sound like when I sneeze, it's
embarrassing. Um, but like I get asked the
same questions a lot. And like, a lot of the questions
that I get asked, have to do with things that are like, well,
how do I be on time? Like whatever.
And like the thing that I hate the most about that question is
that my answer is like, you just do it.
You just be on time and that's like the easiest thing in the
world to say, you know, and I like and so for really long
time, I was like, I would get like a little, like, my bull to
you. Sometimes you just got to take
out the garbage speech. Yeah.
But then I realized, I was like, I was doing myself a disservice
and how it was answering that question.
Because what I realized is that, first off, I hate the word just
so I was being an asshole to myself, but then also like it's
not just being on time, it's the fact that like I have
meticulously built my entire life around being on time to
things so like I don't wear makeup.
I don't really do my hair like I don't put a lot of time or
effort or thought into my clothes most of the time the
caveat, you know, sometimes I do but like I keep all my shit in
my purse like on and on and on and on and on and all of that is
a system and all of that is in service to like if I'm going
somewhere and I'm going to do my makeup, I'm I know.
I'm gonna like fuck up the eyeliner.
Like one eye or something. So then that's extra time that
I'm going to spend, and I'm going to start hyper fixating on
my hair because my hair is not the way that I want it.
And then I'm going to have to go choose an outfit and, you know,
and just on and on and on and on and so like I keep a lot of
stuff like really minimal because I don't want to have to
like spend time on it and I value efficiency so much.
So, like last week when we did the podcast on the couch, I was
Losing my mind about the inefficiency of like moving the
microphone and then we're going to set up the microphones and
then we're going to put the fucking pop filters on which the
who built these pop filters and then we have to move all the
cables around but then I also knew in the back of my mind.
Like once we do that then we have to put everything back in
like I have time blindness. And so like Looking Back, Now
moving the microphone the six feet from the table to the
fucking desk. Was like 30 seconds of unscrew
and then screw it back in. But in my timeline brain I was
like this is gonna take hours. This is going to take so long.
This is so deficient I'm so frustrated.
I was like it's fine like it will be fine, be patient going
to be whatever but it's just like it's that kind of stuff.
It's where it's like I can't estimate how much time.
Something is going to take me because I my timeline is just
makes me assume. It's going to take for
indefinite forever. /. And that gets really frustrated,
right? I think that's for me easily.
One of the most frustrating parts of the timeline is I think
the most is making my, you know, loved ones.
Feel like I don't love them because I don't respond.
That's my the words, but very closely after that.
Is that if I have a chore to do at home dishes, to do the box to
move something about A future tasks.
I just assume it's going to be the rest of my day.
Yeah. If I have dishes to do and I
know that means from now until the rest of the day, I'm going
to be doing dishes that becomes my whole day.
Somebody always amazes me about my mom who does not have ADHD
show like get a phone call from the bank and says like, Hey,
we're a bank and something happened but we do you need to
call this number but that if that happens to me, that's like
a month-long task that's like at least a week of self-loathing
about, At least, you know, I'm getting better about it, but at
least a week then I forget about the phone number, but it's still
in the back of my head like, you know, the task itself, I forget.
But the stress from not, doing the task remains.
And I'm just so stressed out. Then I remember that I forget
again, I remember. And then eventually I make the
phone, call my mom, she'll get the phone call and she'll just
go. Oh, and immediately make that
phone call. It's read a number into the
phone, and then hang up and it's resolved like before the
commercial break is over. It's resolved.
I'm just how the fuck did you You do that and it reminds me of
that thing of if I have a task to do this in the future, I
assume it's going to take just the rest of the day.
It makes me think of the concept of a Time Horizon, which is a
very cool phrase but the time Horizon is basically how far
ahead are you okay? Are we capable of planning for
me? An hour.
Maybe really like I can conceive of tonight and what I might want
to do tonight but I have no idea.
Like I can picture myself sitting at my desk, at the end
of today click-clacking around on my computer.
Like I can picture that and I can imagine the things that I
would do once that's the case. But I cannot go from right now.
To that moment, I there's a whole like I can't conceive that
far at most. I can usually do about an hour
so you like I don't know if I had a podcast breakthrough or
not. I'm deciding the like, so do you
like plan because of that, or do you not plan?
Because I teach interests. Well, I think I would like to
plan because of that. I would like my response to be
to plan, but no, I think I and you have just gotten incredibly
good at solving. Basically, well, that's becoming
very good at pulling audibles, you know, if something changes
tonight, I can, you know, shift my brain around me, like, okay
this is what we're doing now. So I guess my response to that
is to be very have a lot of agility when it comes to
conceiving of what the next hour of my life is going to look like
the make sense. Yeah I guess so.
I mean I think I just take the opposite strategy because like I
think I mean a lot of it I'm just like I don't care what To
have for dinner. So I don't plan ahead was like,
figure it out but also like one of the questions I get a lot.
Well, I'm not a lot a lot but every so often I get is like
planning a wedding with ADHD or something like that.
And I was like my wedding got featured in like, Bridal
magazines. Like my wedding was fucking sexy
as fuck. It was a great wedding, but it's
but like it was because I planned everything like
everything. I DIY to every single detail of
my wedding like down to handcraft.
Rafting the flowers out of paper like I did everything and so
like I don't know like and so when people ask me that question
I was like I mean I'm a professional stage manager with
ADHD like I know how to like keep a schedule and like work
backwards but like I don't know, like I don't want I don't think
about time that way I don't think is what I'm like
realizing. Hmm.
You know what I mean? Well, I also think I'd like to
amend my previous answer. I very much go one way or the
other very much go. I'm not going to make any plan
at all because I know things are nebulous and things like change
and I can honestly can't even really conceived that amount of
time. Anyways, I do that quite
frequently, but in other Realms I think I do stage manager,
Katie where like you know, for example this podcast like
alright I want to talk about this for a little while.
I've already neglected that but you know, I felt the need to
start doing that and I have, you know, a bunch of documents on my
computer of all you exactly how to schedule a Hey, you got a
majestic imply exactly, which I find is very useful.
But sometimes like either one chip schedules on my computer of
exactly how our days. I'd like to break down my
current work day of like, okay, get into the office at 9:00
takes that content from 9 to 10, tasty research from 10 to 11,
whatever, like that sort of thing.
I almost never actually stick to that schedule.
But clearly part of my brain craves having a schedule.
I think the most productive times in my life.
Have been when a schedule has been put on me, like, at
boarding school or something like that or less.
So, in a kitchen because the schedule is input on you, but
your deadlines are hard. So that sort of kicks you in to
go mon or kicked me into government.
I suppose. Do you have any strategies any
little tips and tricks any little things you do that?
Help you deal with time in a more effective way.
Um, I pretty much consistently plan backwards.
Hmm. That's like oh that's always
been sort of my strategy is like if I need to be there at, I
don't know. Seven will say p.m. to wherever
like. OK, at first, I'm going to look
up the drive like that's, you know, okay.
It's going to be 20 minutes or whatever.
I grew up in the midwest where like, you always had to drive 20
minutes for everything. So, like, that's just like,
what? I've been a costumed in my whole
life, but then kind of like, talking about what I was talking
about earlier. Like, I, you know, it's like,
okay, Okay, if it takes 20 minutes to get there, then, you
know, I need half an hour to get dressed or like whatever.
But like, I also consistent like I've done the same thing for a
really long time, like, I very like, set patterns and like, how
I do a lot of stuff. And so like, it takes me, seven
minutes to get ready in the morning that is like that has
been my number. Since I think I was like 17
years old, it takes me 7 minutes.
Start to finish waking up to be out of the house.
I need seven minutes and so Like that's really helpful because I
just like I just know that it's just information that I have in
my brain and so I've got a lot of like set systems.
I've got a lot of like little set strategies.
Yeah, that's my answer. It's really bad.
And no, it was like, she was like, I don't know, I think
ahead, but like, it's like I feel like my stage manager
showing in this episode. Like, there's a lot of stuff
that I struggle with, but like, by the very just necessity of
like my job, I've gotten better at time management because like
I had to be in order to like be an actor and then when it turned
out that I actually, like, I was pure and managing time, when I
was a stage manager, like I just can't control, you know, But
yeah, I think very similarly, in kitchens.
Yeah, it was the satisfaction of somebody saying how long until
this is, you know, until this is ready and you say, like 12
minutes and it's exactly. 12 minutes is one of the most
satisfying things along times, that was constantly pursuing.
So, I think, I think working in kitchens improve.
My timeline is quite a bit. I also think I think working
backwards is easily. The thing that I do that I think
is the most effective in curbing.
Timeline is what it is, especially when it comes to
being on time for things or making flights is, you know, if
I need to be at work at, you know, ate half an hour drive now
or at 7:30. But since you know, we work
backwards backwards backwards. And I make sure to follow all
the way through that was that's really big for me is to follow
all the way through until eventually I get all the way
back to the initial action that needs to be taken like getting
out of bed because if I have in my head I need to leave for work
at 8:30 then. When the go time, the time of my
reign is like, all right now, here we go.
Is like 8:30, but that's what I have to leave in.
So I'll get it'll be a to be like 8:25 and I'm going to start
like, throwing clothes on stuff like that.
I try to go all the way back until to, like, get out of bed,
like, get out of bed at 7:30. Yeah.
Because then 7:30 becomes the number that I'm concerned with.
I know, if I start, if I run sequence starting at 7:30,
Everything else will be on time. I used to really like riding
public transport for that reason because I knew like alright I
know if I am leave if I leave the front door at 8:00
everything else is set. That means I'll have enough time
to walk to the bus stop. That means you know, once the
bus gets there, I'm just on the bus.
Get rid of that thing where you set your clock, you know, like
forward. So you look at your clock and
you think you have less time, they are kind of a No-No because
I fucking I know like I know Like, I like, I don't know what
it is. That's been like a piece of
advice of people giving me free. Oh yeah.
I'm still your clock 10 minutes back.
I don't like, but I'm gonna know that I did that.
For me, it's always been a worse re because that I'm like, I
just, I just know that that clock is, I have more time than
that. Yeah, like I was like, oh great
cool. I've got 10 extra mint.
Like no, like I would rather my clock be right.
And then that way the expectation and the pressure is
on me to be responsible and like Yeah, oh, yeah, absolutely.
Again, it like that working back from like the thing that needs
to happen showing up to work on time, working all the way
backwards, All the Way backwards to the initial actionable item.
Yeah, that has relieved so much fucking.
You know, Screw if setting your clock forward works for you,
fucking great, go for it. But doing that has alleviated so
much fucking stress in my life because then once I know, if I
start getting ready for work at 7:30, you know, if I, if I get
up from whatever I'm doing or get out of bed, Or whatever.
If I start going at this time, then all the stress that comes
before that. I mean if it's 7:30, I'm likely
just getting up but like if I have to leave later in the day
all that time beforehand, that I would normally spend like, oh
God, I have to start waiting getting ready for work of guys.
What of ablated? But did it that all goes away?
Because I know if I start getting ready at this time then
I'm good. And so all that time before that
time that you set suddenly is like free, it's not just time.
You're spending worrying about being late and that is cool.
That is that's the satisfaction of that alone is like worth it
for not just being, you know, going to work on time.
But the fact that I don't have to spend the entire time before
going to work, freaking out about being late is that's
that's a big one for me. Lots, lots more video games have
been played, because I can actually relax and sit before
work rather than just stressing out about it.
Do you ever use timers on stuff? Yes.
And no, I used to be better about time.
Whirs. But there's it's weird because I
feel like I self sabotage myself in terms of like effective time
reuse which is like weird but like the problem is that like
ultimately I am Responsible for my own actions, I guess is like
maybe what I'm trying to say. And so like for me if I set a
timer for like 15 minutes, I know that I'm the person who set
the timer nothing happens. Then 15 minutes, you know.
So like I use it I use timers a lot in terms of like seeing how
much I can get done in like a Time Break.
Like if I'm like really like stress about cleaning or
whatever. I'll be like cool.
I'll just send an alarm for like, you know, 10 minutes or
like 15 minutes or whatever. And I'll just clean for that
like, little period of time. And a lot of times what will
happen is like that will give me the motivation.
Into like just keep going past that 10 minutes but, but it
doesn't work beyond the other way.
It doesn't like, okay, you have to stop in 10 minutes that has
never worked for me. It only works in terms of like
giving myself the option to continue afterwards.
Hmm, But like stopping, it's like well I said the timer, I
can just give myself another 10 and another 10 forever, which is
why I like alarm clocks are really hard for me because I
just will snooze until Infinity, but yeah, like, How much can you
get done? And then you have the
opportunity to expand is like, really useful the other way,
doesn't work. Yeah, I just have the same thing
four times in a row. So when you do the other way,
doesn't work. That's like, I have to finish
this in 10 minutes, 10 minutes, right?
I'm gonna be like it has to be done or, or what?
It was me, I did. What are you gonna do you like
fucking take away your candy? Like you know?
I mean it's like I mean the only time that I really like find it
is to be useful is like okay I really Li like I know that I'm
going like hyper focus on this. And so then I'll set a timer not
necessarily as IQ have to be done by 1:00 in the morning.
But as a like, hey, it's 1:00 in the morning, just so, you know,
it's more of a just so, you know, moment and then sometimes
I give me like, the cognizance of being like, you really don't
need to finish this tonight because at a certain point like
them, Like the sunk cost fallacy of like if I build this costume
until 7:00 in the morning, inevitably I will set a sleeve
and backwards and I'm just going to cause more work for myself
later. But that's it.
That's the thing that I am really guilty of is like I rush
through things and I like, I like, I will make like, really
stupid mistakes. Like the, the more tired I get,
because I have time Linus. And I don't realize, like, how
much time has passed it. So I'm just like, exhausting
myself as I'm like, doing whatever it is that I'm doing.
What do you think? You feel so compelled?
Till is it like you want to finish it in that session or
yeah, like a lot of times like I also do the cool thing where
it's like, oh DragonCon is tomorrow.
I should build for cosplays. Like I always seem to take on
big projects like way after the timeframe of it being a
reasonable project to take on happens and the like I don't
know if it's like a dopamine thing.
I don't know if it's like a hyper fixation thing but like
that's something that I really struggle with.
If is like this, seems like a good idea to do right now.
You have three hours until the costume party but I will build a
full tutor gown and then, you know, and then I get like
frustrated because I'm like making mistakes and it's like,
well, you didn't need to do this.
You have 400 perfectly serviceable costumes.
You didn't need to make something new, but the dopamine
says yes. Well, it's missing register do
for me. I think, very often times, my
time, lawyers will work in one of two ways where I assume a
task that's really not Going to take a very long time, while in
fact and take the rest of the day, like doing the dishes,
sometimes, I'll take of a task that is going to take a very
long time, but all Sumit takes way less time and I find that
which one of those I do given a task is a pretty good gauge of
whether or not I want to do the task.
Because if it's something that I want to do, then I'm gonna take
my ten minutes. I can get it done, we have
something. I don't want to do them.
My brain is like, oh, it's gonna be like 10 hours in length.
Oh, gosh. And sort of to combat that the
the, the ladder one, the one where I don't want to.
Do a nice so I assume it's going to take all day.
The timer staying has is easily the most effective idiots D
strategy that I've ever installed in my life.
Because I mean II know I've got on this rant a million times
before but I'm going to do it again just in case you dear
listener hearing it for the first time do it.
When you set a timer do something, if you have to do the
dishes, you have to clean your room, you have to unpack boxes,
whatever it is think of the smallest amount of time that you
are positive that you can white-knuckle doing it.
No matter how little I want to do the dishes, could I do the
dishes for one minute right now is one minute of dishes.
One just could I do that? Can I just wipe backlit through
that? Sure.
So do that, do the one minute thing and that will get you over
the initial. Hump the activation energy
required to do a task is the hardest to install.
It's harder to get yourself moving, and it's to keep
yourself moving people with ADHD often struggle with task
engagements, you know, starting a task, and task re-engagement.
You know, if you digress from a task while you're doing it, How
likely are you to remember? Again, that that's what you're
doing and to go back. So the timer method is really
helpful in combating. Your brains false narrative that
doing the dishes is going to take 10 hours, break it down
into really small time increments that your brain can
work with. And that, you know, you can
force yourself to do, regardless of motivation then that'll help
you get past that initial push of getting started.
And then after that, Minute is up.
You have one you've succeeded in what you tried to do?
You tried to do the dishes for one minute?
And you did you have succeeded? You haven't failed at doing the
dishes, which you might think you would done if you had done
one dish and then stopped without the timer.
But since your goal was to do the dishes for one minute,
you've succeeded in doing that. And that dopamine head is like,
ooh, I wouldn't do another minute.
Like haha like and then you get the dopamine it from the second
minute. Then you're like I'm going to do
another four minutes. Just constantly setting these
little dopamine pit stops. Using time as little rewards
things, like every minute that you spend doing, this thing is
another win and they're in your pocket, like gamify it.
Where it's like, how many dishes can I wash it a minute?
Oh, yeah, totally because that's, that's the problem is I
always do that and then I fucking wind up, like, throwing
a cup of cross the room and breaking it and then I get more
mad at myself. Like I literally, I can't handle
that kind of pressure. Oh yeah.
I like this. I like this.
I do, this doesn't work as often as I would have liked, but it's
still fun when it does work. I'll guess how long it's going
to take me to do a task? Like, if I were to just do Uh
dishes. How long would it?
Take me 15 minutes then I'll subtract like 20% from that.
Make it 12 minutes and see if I can do it then.
And then it's like Dan and I race to the Finish.
But again, I know that I set that period of time, you know.
So like I could have like, said 20 minutes and then minute 15
but, you know, honor System, whatever.
I feel like a lot of times I'm just I'm just far too like Spock
brain to like have stuff like that work and it really
frustrating because like I feel like There's a lot of places in
my life, where, like, gamification or something would
like, really, really work, but like, I know, I know that like,
I'm the person who set the timer, I know that I'm the one
who, like, me to feel like rules for, like, whatever.
The stupid thing is that, I'm trying to do.
And so then I like, have this like weird sort of like outside
perspective from I'll like on myself where I'm like, really?
This is, this is what we're going to do and then I'm like,
judging myself for like wanting to play the game in order.
Order to like, do the task. It's like, it's like I don't
like, it's like how I can't do workout videos in my own home
because what if somebody walks by the house, it's like a real
thing. I litter, I cannot I cannot deal
with with the embarrassment of doing like at home like workout
videos, it's like a Ritz. Is she it's a we have to do
at-home workout video. It's it's a Ritz like I can't do
it. It's like I get so stressed out
because I'm like Definitely watching myself like look like
an idiot and like I like I get so weirded out like it's a whole
weird thing that I have just got to embrace it.
That's what it is. Just embraced.
The fact that you look ridiculous, try to look as
ridiculous as you possibly can. I just lean into it?
Literally never do well. So here's the thing, here's the
thing, I think I might I might be able to hijack your gifted
and talented kid rain for several.
Okay, but now that I've told you, I know not going to be able
to tell me how you're going to do as you want me to be right.
Also think of it this way, okay? If you have a task and you break
it down into five minute blocks, right?
You do five minutes, you do another 5 minutes, you do
another 5 minutes. Yes.
At some point, during that task, you're going to start to wonder,
how many more five minute increments?
Is it going to take me to finish this task?
So you'll start the timer again and you're just thinking I bet
this is the last one. And then if it is or if you say
I bet this is going to take two more five minute increments and
then it is you get to be right and that feels good you're like
wow I accurately predicted how long much longer I was gonna be
doing this task you know try to get it done.
You get to be right. Don't know, that doesn't make
any sense. We've got to get to people like
think about like how many 10 minute blocks?
Is it gonna take me to do a thing?
Like hey, let's say, let's say Clean this office, please
office. It would take, I could do it, 20
minutes, 20 minutes. Yeah.
Okay, Tina. We're going to do after we've
stopped recording. I'm sure it's going to be clean
the office that will. Now we have to because you said
it's going to be four minutes. So you don't, you want to know
if you're right though, is it party want to know if you were
right? No, because I'm just
disappointed in myself. That the office is dirty enough
to have to clean again. So it's ha ha lawyered not
lawyers. What do you think?
That's a problem is like I I'm always judging myself from the
outside at the same time. Do you find that to be useful?
No, not at all. I didn't say it was.
I'm just saying I'm aware of it. I didn't say it's a strategy,
I'm not recommending it, but I know buddy.
I'm just saying that. That's the reality in which I
live. I'm constantly like, wow, that's
what we're going with today. I was born, that's what that's
what we got. Hmm, I'm sorry.
Call myself a sporting. It's cool.
It's kind of like you're like a football team or something.
Yeah. It's because I'm like, always
was more. Get out.
Yeah, cuz I'm My Own. I'm a coach.
So I'm always like yelling at my coaches in charge, you know?
The coach is the fuck if the coach is, if let's do this.
Alright, I'm going to go to football now.
This is not going to work because any watch football.
But, you know, if the coaches defensive line is not very good.
Yes. Any time they spent, they should
practice on the back, nine with their golf carts.
That was see what made it bought a funny.
It was funny because the wrongs, but it's wrong for Katie as
funny as funny as funny. Thank you.
But anytime the coach spends embarrassed about the defensive
line sucking and is a waste of time, they I'd just be like
acknowledge that the thing being objective but acknowledged that
the defensive line sucks and then work on improving it rate
but the defensive line needs the shame and guilt of embarrassment
in order to get better. Not Shane, Katie no, shame is
ashamed. Can be an excuse to not learn
the lessons of guilt. What's whole rant about that?
Okay, well, we have to be done. I, we don't have time for this
right now. Shame episode.
We're gonna do a shame. Do we already do a shame episode
know, we were gonna, we ended up doing some.
We don't have doing something else.
All right. Yeah, we could do shame episode.
He said, shame episode, who she said she was a shame episode of
Young Werther. Same episode.
Yeah, we should do it. Awesome.
Episode alleles, fish medicine. Katie!
You got one minute, closing thoughts on timeline disco.
You can't look at the timer time.
Is really difficult because it, it affects a lot of things.
It affects like how you live your life, it affects your
interpersonal relationships. It affects the way that you
navigate through the world and so the best piece of advice that
I have is to find efficient systems that work for you.
Maybe don't judge yourself as harshly as I do.
That's not I don't give good advice to myself and I don't
take my own advice but yeah that's what that's what I would
say is like, work on finding The systems that allow you to
forgive yourself and be compassionate to yourself and be
patient with yourself because it can take a lot of time.
Ha ha to learn how to be patient with yourself.
And it's something that I work on, I'm still working up nice.
You even use the word time, I didn't know, like we should have
a little sound effect or something being.
I'm not gonna answer itself picture, can it be the clock
lady from Loki? Oh yeah.
Hey y'all. Hey y'all, Tara Strong in here?
Something like that. What about you?
What's your one minute, why? One minute.
I would say one timeline is matched with emotional
impermanence and struggling with object.
Permanence can be a really Insidious thing and so I think
try to think of your own dealing with time as functionally and
objectively as possible. It's really easy to feel shame
about being late or feel shame about not responding to an email
or, you know, your mom texted you three days ago about you
know, do you Want me to keep this painting and you forgot to
because you know, you assumed, she just texted you in the three
days ago. You know, acknowledge the
reality, the situation try not to get mad at yourself for it
because nobody's being helped by that.
You don't get to decide how you feel you know.
So if you do get mad about it, don't get mad about getting that
it's okay that you but try to think of it as functionally and
develop, try to observe in with that objective observation.
Observation try to find the specific things that you
struggle with and develop systems to remedy that for me.
I struggle with starting to do something and that will cause me
to put it off and put it off and put it off and then not realize
that I've been putting it off. For a very long time.
So the tire method of setting up a 5-minute interval in, which I
start that helps me out a lot setting.
My clocks forward does not help me out, but the opposite might
be true for that for you, okay? So, find the systems that work
for you to acknowledge your faults objectively.
Try not to get too down on yourself.
Use those timers, baby. Use those timers, honestly.
I think one of the, one of the most important things to
remember is like, what works for you might not work for somebody
else and that is so, Profoundly okay.
Yeah, absolutely. Like, I can't do setting, my
clock ahead, it just doesn't work for me, but like the option
to expand past 10 minutes. If I'm feeling it, like, it's
great. Like it, it really works in my
brain, but like you don't again, I'm not taking my own advice,
but like, you don't have to judge yourself.
You don't have to worry about, you know, looking silly.
And it's something that I work on all the time because I
recognize how often I do that. And how like much literal actual
time I waste worrying about that kind of stuff.
No yeah I mean interactive get discouraged if certain systems
don't work out for you. I mean the amount of listicles
I've read about ADHD and timeline as you know one of them
was get an analog clock. So that way you know as a minute
hand reaches the our Like You It's A visual representation of
it. You can see it getting smaller.
One of them was like set an alarm on your phone for every
hour of the day like and I've I've done all those things.
It's uh A point in my life is none of them really worked for
me. But eventually I started to find
systems and I'm still fighting systems that work for me.
Somebody on my twitch stream says, something really smart
today. They said the cool thing about
failure and is that like when systems fail or like, you know,
you fail at being good at something.
It still teaches you something and I like, I know I've talked
about that before. But like I think especially in
conversations with things like listicles, it makes a lot of
sense because like If you if that system fails for you, then
you know, that doesn't work. But like, is there something you
can take from it? Is there something you can
adapt? Oh, yeah.
Absolutely. Herrick remember the time that
we did an episode about time blindness?
And it went long, then we went off.
It's okay. We're going on, the timeline is
episode. I also would say I wanted to
touch on this a little bit, but I guess I forgot but identify
the people in your life that you feel you can talk to about it.
So like if you have, you know, a spouse or roommate or whatever,
You feel that? They're a person.
You can talk to it. It's good to acknowledge like
hey just so you know it's not personal when I you know and
late to a thing it's not personal like I'm sorry I'm
doing my best but just letting them know some people, it might
not be the best, you know, use your judgment on who to do that
with, you know, some random co-worker but, but for a lot of
people, it would be useful to just, at least bring it up and
and say like, is there anything, you know, that's particularly
important for you. That I remember, you know, like,
do you get particularly offended of how you take too long to?
Respond to a text message or something.
I have to be one. I'm so mad that you said this,
the very end of the episode. Hmm, I think this might be the
first time that I actually viscerally disagree with you.
Oh, really? Yeah, what do you got?
You have to be responsible for yourself.
Oh yeah. You know what I mean?
Like, oh yeah. Like I think you can.
If you can explain it, you can say like, hey, I just want you
to know that like, time, blindness is something that I
really struggle with the like, also, you cannot use it as an
excuse to be late every single. You know what I mean?
Because like at some point the impact of your actions, even if
you mean the best in the whole world, like, it doesn't, it's
not going to save your job. When you've shown up for your
fifth late shift in a row, you know what I mean?
I fully agree with. I'm like, yeah, I just, like,
I'm always very cautious when we advise people to explain because
I feel like there's a very fine line between like an explanation
and an excuse. If not treaded, that's not the
right word, but like if not dealt with very carefully and
with, like, a lot of compassion and a lot of nuance.
And so I think there has to be like a lot of trust and a lot of
like, communication. Even if the conversation is very
difficult for you to hear, you know, like I think that's like,
I think that's just important to acknowledge.
I'm not sexually wrong. I'm just saying, like, you also
have to be accountable with like Context of that explanation.
Does that make sense? Yeah, no, absolutely, I
completely agree with that. I think that's really how I said
I'd be having Italy disagree with you and then I immediately
back down because I didn't want her, you didn't back down.
What did you what did you back that?
I guess like I'm just like okay I'm sorry, you know what are you
worried about uncomfortable? I got super comfortable like
like she liked but it like butting heads so I'm just like
I'm just gonna soften this as much as possible.
Well okay, well my delicate sensibilities are remained
unscathed. You very much.
But II know, I completely agree. I think that's why I was so
adamant about like, deciding who you do that with, you is doing
with your boss saying, you just have to be okay with me being
late. No, they don't.
They don't you need to be on time to your job.
Yeah. But if it's like you, for
example, if I say to you, like, hey, you know, like if you send
me a text message in the morning and I don't respond to till
date. That's not personal.
I'm not like, it'll fuck you Katie.
Like, you know, that's the person.
I'm sorry. And, and just trying to get on
the same page because I like, I had a friend a couple years ago.
Well, I mean is she still But she said it had, we were having
this conversation and she said yeah when you when I send you
something and it takes you like hours to respond, she's like she
said, I know it's not personal but part of me like doesn't
know, you know? Like it's just I still feel
offended even though I know that it's not personal.
Yeah, and so she was very vulnerable and very proud of her
doing. She said like it would really
mean a lot to you. If you made more of an effort to
respond within a certain amount of time, she's like, I
understand that that's hard for you, like, but she made.
That need clear and I was like, fuck.
Yes. Like you know it was still hard
for me because I've done Blackness but she made her needs
her needs. Clear.
Yeah, and then you took accountability in terms of like
doing better. Exactly.
That's a really good example. Yeah, absolutely.
I never want to be, I do get really nervous when asking
people to like that, you know, perhaps advising somebody should
talk about their time blindness or their whatever symptom ADHD
symptom here. Because those it's all, that's
all for information. That's not to excuse Behavior.
It's a to excuse Behavior, you're still responsible for
your actions but it might clarify to the other person
exactly what you're going through and perhaps they can
support you or whatever, you know.
Yeah, that's a good way to put that.
Yeah. Anyways, thank you so much for
being here, everybody. Stay tuned for a really cool and
very well done. Outro sequence with this song
that we definitely spent a lot of time writing, that's right.
We made it to the end. Good job.
You did it. That's it.
That's it for all of us here and put a quest this week.
Just a reminder that the last episode of ADHD captive.
Audience are live, special ad. Play on Khan will be released
this coming Tuesday, so stay tuned for that.
And also, stay tuned for other things that I have forgotten.
What I was supposed to say is it was just patrons on patreon.
Eric, I have my new ukulele. Lee and you have my blue ukulele
for both blue but here we go. Ready?
This is the first two uke to you guys.
Yeah and we got ready? Ready musician.
Thanks to David and Amanda Leon and also our new friend Violet
which he eschewed Persephone let's hit the Violet, when she
and my father.
Leon to forget about Amanda came to my mind, everybody.
From all of us at infinite cost. You were supposed to keep like,
let's hear it for us this week. Thank you so much for being
here. We couldn't do it without Out
your support and we are so grateful for each and every one
of you. So until next week, drink some
water, eat a snack, take your meds be kind to yourself, be
kind to others and remember that we love you.
That was a pretty awesome.