I can't make a podcast. Why not?
I burn my pop tarts significantly.
Dude it smells like burnt pop tarts in here so much.
I have never burned Pop Tarts. I never put Pop Tarts in the
toaster. And I was like, I'm going to
give myself a special little treat.
Wait, how do you make your pop? Tarts I just eat their room
temperature. Oh, I think it meant like you
put them in the microwave. No, no, I just like, I just, you
know, like room temperature normally, but like I'm so upset
about it. They're like black, they're
black on the edges. They're they're, they're barked
to a crease. I got to, I got to catch a
glimpse of these warlocks real quick.
OK, I didn't read like I was. Oh, my gosh.
Yeah. See what I'm saying?
They're very. They look like you could.
I bet you could use the edges to draw like charcoal.
It looks weirdly gruesome because it's a cherry 1 so like
the red is oozing out. Yeah.
Like, I feel like it's like a Cronenberg pop tart, you know,
like a body. It is the holes kind of do make
it a little like love crafty and.
Yeah, we should make a make an art.
That's so gross. I'm still going to eat it
though. Can I have the other one to make
art out of? Yeah, that's fine.
I. Just think it'd be kind of funny
if we like, got one of those big oh so hot body horror.
Here we go, 3rd degree burn spot tart.
I'm glad you're. What was it about diarrhoea
pocket? Oh yeah, the Jim Gaffigan.
Jim Gaffigan, man, one of the lava more employed people.
He seems really nice. He does seem like a really nice
guy. Poor guy doesn't get to play Tim
Waltz for the next 4 years. I know, that's a shame.
Speaking of which, this is the first podcast since.
Oh yeah, it happened. We should probably.
Yeah. Well, I want to talk about how
we're going to talk about it because we talked about it and
we should tell the audience about what we talked about in
talking about it. Yeah.
Sure. So here's the thing, dear
listeners. If you're listening to this
podcast, you probably have a decent idea of our politics and
how we think and see the world. And so this week and last week
have been kind of interesting. It was particularly interesting
too, because I was at D3 at sea on election night, so I was on
like a cruise ship, which was wild.
It was a wild experience to experience an election like
that. But The thing is, is that Eric
and I value compassion. We value reason, we value logic,
we value values that value other people as having value.
And so for the next foreseeable future, when we talk about
stuff, I'm explaining this poorly.
Books. Well, I don't know.
I'm trying. To remember what exactly we just
decided. Just basically like we're, we're
not going to like super dwell on it because I don't think that
helps anybody. But we are like, I think we're
just renewing our commitment to like this podcast means
something to us and our audience means something to us.
And like, we just want to be here and we want to be talking
and we want to be engaging with our community and encouraging
other people to do so. And so, yeah, we're gonna, we're
gonna do our best for the next foreseeable future to give you a
podcast that hopefully provides, you know, a little, a little
cheer and you're gloomy, maybe. Hopefully not so gloomy day.
Not so gloomy. Day well, I I just remember last
time this fucking guy, I definitely want to say his God
damn name because I just I I know he's not fucking Baltimore,
but it just it hurts. I just hate saying it, but so
this fucking guy got elected president again and I remember
the the first time this happened, everything that
happened before that day, what was it?
It was 11/9, so the 9th of November, you know, in 2016,
everything that happened before that day was just outdated.
Like, it was just, you know, if you watched Stephen Colbert
from, like, the day before, there's just a light in his
eyes. Like we lived in a different
fucking reality. And so every time I watch, like,
any TV show, if it was released in like, 2014, I'm like, oh,
well, they don't know yet. You know?
They don't know, Yeah, that America is sliding steadfastly
into fascism. Like, and so I feel like this is
another one of those moments where like, so basically we
like, you know, I want to acknowledge that that happened.
I don't want to I don't want to speak for you.
What else? I don't want to like set, you
know, this is our our podcast. So like, I want to acknowledge
that we're existing in that reality with you.
We know holy fuck. Like I want to claw my fucking
eyes out over it. But we know that that fucking
dude is going to be dominating every single part of every media
for well, probably for the next 4 years plus.
And so we just don't feel like the utility of our podcast is
like, I don't know, unpacking that because there are plenty of
other avenues and places to to unpack that.
And like, you know, I recommend like Stephen Colbert watching at
the end of the day to like, wait, did that shit really just
happen? Is that as ridiculous and
horrifying as I thought? Yes.
So anyways, we just want to acknowledge that it happened and
holy fuck. And.
Hope you're OK. Hope you're OK.
And so, like, we know, but we're not going to pretend like it
didn't happen, but we're also not going to, like, bring it up
every fucking podcast, even though every podcast there's
probably gonna be something worth talking about.
Yeah, news wise. Dude, it's been, it's been like
less than two, like 2 weeks. Less than two weeks, Yeah.
And there's already been like so much shit.
I'm just like. I can't like, I just like.
God, remember how fast it was? Like every day was like a month?
Yeah, the first time like. I mean, I already feel like
that, yeah. You know, and I feel like that's
like, I feel like that is. I think maybe part of that is
why, like, content is so weird right now because it's like
you're just living in this constant like, not only, like, I
don't know, like you're trying to make content, but then also
like the entire, like, you're just whole existence is content.
Yeah. You know, even like politics,
there's just like more, you know, and it's just, I don't
know. Yeah, it's hard to.
It's hard to remember that there's like the Internet and
the real world. There's like the content world
and the real world 'cause I, I notice that I tend to live in
one or the other. Like when I'm in content world
like I don't. But if I'm like doing not like
real world stuff, then I like, I can't also exist in the IT just
breaks my brain. So anyways, we know it happened.
We're sorry. We hope you're OK Be nice to
yourself, be cool. There's not, there's no reason
to like spring into crazy obsessive action right now, this
very moment. Just take some time, regroup,
and I don't know, hopefully we make you feel more comfortable.
That being said, Katie, things you can say about a boat that
you can't say about your partner.
I store it in the poop deck. Shit, right off the bat you got
a good one. God damn it, there she blows.
That's why. That was an easy one.
But yeah, hard to starboard, you know what I mean?
OK, Yeah, just keep shoveling it in until it.
I'm so mad about this. What?
Like I'm, I'm mad about how like a, like a large facet of my
personality is based on like the fact that I grew up like working
at an improv theater, like, you know what I mean?
And it's like, I'm so out of practice and I'm so rusty that
it's like I just, I feel like the the like the.
Bailey's drinking out of the fucking.
Toilet, stop drinking out of the toilet.
I don't remember. That was my fault.
I didn't shut the door. Yeah.
Look at yourself in the mirror and think about the life choices
that you just made. Billy.
That's right. I.
Think she's perfectly fine with every single decision she's ever
made? She was such a good dog today at
the vet, too. She was like, you know, there's
somebody, like scared dogs there.
And she was just like, hey, what's up, guys?
Yeah, it was amazing. She's really like, I feel like
having the the very canine type of ADHD that I have, like I and
I think this is true for you too.
I mean, but like, I can tell when her brain is hyperactive,
but her body isn't, you know, like what?
So when she's in the vet or in the like, for example, when
she's in the car, her brain and her body are hyperactive.
She's like, oh, I'm gonna smell it this window.
I'm gonna smell it this window. I'm gonna go like, what are you
guys looking at, you know? But in like the vet, I can tell
that her brain is very hyperactive, but she's like
containing it, you know, But I can see like her just the way
she like points her nose at different places and stuff.
So I'm really proud of her. Like, it's impulse control.
I, you know, I could, I could use more of that.
Best dog in the world. Sorry, we're.
Talking about improv. Oh, yeah, I forgot.
Yeah. But no, like, it is something
that I consider myself, like, really good at.
And so like we've been playing these like goofy improv games
and I'm just like, and just like, like the dust just comes
out and it makes me feel bad about myself.
And I know it's like a silly thing, but like I'm like, should
be able to drop a bunch of like just back-to-back bangers,
non-stop bangers, but I can't right now.
And it's really upsetting me. It's like I'm, it's really
fucking with me and like my, my confidence in terms of like
being like a good writer and a good creator.
I'm sorry, sweetie. And that's not silly, I think.
That's right. That's very valid, yeah.
And obviously, I mean, I think whatever I would say to you is
probably what you're already telling yourself.
Like you got to shake the cobs of webs off.
It's like a muscle you got to work out.
I. Was like I got to shout out for
an improv class in LA. This is the place to do it, you
know. I feel like, I feel like it's,
it's like I, I feel like I'm gonna have to like, apologize
for telling people that I've signed up for an input off class
in LA 'cause that's just so fucking on.
The I think you just fucking own it.
Like just be the worst about. It I signed up for an improv
class in Los Angeles. To wear like a.
UCB. Have you heard of them?
Oh no, not University of California, Berkeley.
No, it's different. It's different.
Have you heard of ASCAT? What?
It's one of the yeah, it was like one of the really famous
shows from the Uprasers into Brigade.
It's. Bails.
Bailey, what do you what did you find in there?
What do you have I? Don't know, I think ASK is just
a computer assisted design, but for making butts, it's Asscat,
Katie Asscat for ass. You know what I'm talking about.
All right, I know what you mean.
Like when I play any stringed instrument, but specifically
like a guitar or a banjo or like a loot, when I the loot family
of instrument, Yeah, I fucking it's, it's like shatters my
brain, 'cause I don't, I don't hear what I'm playing.
I hear what I meant to play. Yeah.
And the in whatever gobbledygook is actually coming out, I'm
like, oh God, what the fuck? I used to be able to do this
like 1 to one, you know, and now I'm just like, almost like those
dreams where like you can't scream, you know?
Yeah, I know what I'm supposed to like.
Yeah, that's how I feel. Yeah, like.
It's just like, I'm like, what's funny things to say about your
boat that's not your girlfriend or whatever.
And I'm like. Boats.
They float on water. Boats float they're ships for
aft. Aft.
Is that anything poop deck? Like I got there, but like it
was not and I just spent a week on a boat.
Like that's extra embarrassing for me.
I guess that's true. You weren't.
How? How dare you?
Could you not be thinking of boat based humor while on boats?
No, I'm kidding, I'm sorry. I said how dare you.
It came out of my mouth. Weird.
How dare you? Things you can say on a podcast
that you can't say to your partner.
Sorry it came out of my mouth. Weird.
Well, Eric, when you find yourself with a woman of value,
oh God, you know, you just really have to step into your
alpha male power. Can I talk?
Can I talk about what I talked about in the car this morning?
Yeah, go for. It.
I so I was driving home from work yesterday and I went on
it's, you know, an 18 minute drive and the whole time I was
having a vivid like roast session of just an amorphic one
of those guys from one of those podcasts, like those podcasts
that you see, I don't know what, you know, your algorithm looks
like, dear listener, but like, you know, very often TikTok is
like, Are you sure you don't want to watch toxic pro
podcasts? And I'm like, yes, I'm fucking
sure, but it's a lot. It's guys just first of all, the
premise is inherently flawed because it's miserable guys like
guys who are just have a thin veil of like a persona of like,
I fuck, I have money. My I get a haircut every week.
You know, my shirt looks cheap, but it's actually expensive as
fuck. Like that type of person.
But right behind the surface is I have no fucking idea who I am.
I've never had a real human relationship in my life.
Like I don't I don't. When I wake up in the morning, I
don't know the person I'm greeting.
Like I'm I'm so fucking lonely. Which next sense makes me very
sad. Just like on a human level.
Like fuck that sucks dude. Like get to know yourself man.
But the premise of the podcast is like how to be, how to live,
live your life, like how to be live a successful, happy life.
It's like this guy is the last fucking person.
This guy's in negative numbers. Like he's not even like at 0.
He's like actively running away from having any sort of
relationship with himself or somebody else ever, like ever.
Yeah, Like to listen to this person is is no, don't do that.
And after what happened just happened, I saw a TikTok of a
guy saying like, if you're a just a basic ass white dude on
the left, like maybe it's time to start that podcast.
Fuck it. Like these guys have clearly
saturated the space, clearly like and for whatever reason,
they're just leading people like trotting people down the right
wing, whatever. So like, you know what, maybe
yeah, it starts now. Like all you basic white dudes
fucking short start the podcast, the chat hour, whatever.
But you know, be leftist, you know, if something comes up,
you're like, oh dude, universal OK is sweet or whatever the
fuck, you know. But I mean, just using like, you
know, respects to other people and like whatever.
The fuck? Sexual education.
Basic sexual education and like anyway, so I was just imagining
being on one of those podcasts and just fucking shredding the
dude just and obviously it would sounded great in my head at the
time, but I kept thinking like they always taught just how much
there's like the people they've had sex with is like a quantity.
It's like the score and like they don't listen to people
who's for whom that score is below a, you know, a certain
amount. And it always sounded so weird
for me because it's like they can't not like they can't
comprehend that that's not the metric for everybody.
Like one, it's a terrible metric.
But they can't seem to understand that other people
don't judge their success that way.
And so they'll keep insisting on like, you know, like will, what
kind of car do you drive? Well, how many girls have you
whatever, you know, like, and they just can't conceive of.
So I was trying to think of like a, a, an analogy, like, all
right, here's how I'm going to, I'm going to act in such a way
that makes me seem as strange to you as you look to me, given
your behavior, dear hypothetical podcast host.
And I was like, you know what, dude, you don't have like
fucking any Dragon Ball Z posters in this room.
You don't have like any dude, are you OK?
Like, dude, you suck. I'm not like, I don't mean, but
like low key dude, your life sucks, man.
You're a loser. You don't have fucking any
Dragon Ball, please. But how many Dragon Ball Z
posters have you ever had? Like ever?
It's like, what Dragon Ball Z poster?
Because I have so many Dragon Ball Z posters, dude, I have
had, I've, I've had more Dragon Ball Z posters than I can even
remember. Like, see how weird that is?
Like, that's what you sound like.
It is strange. Anyways, I've just been, yeah.
We should just start a pro podcast.
But the premise is about like healthy relationships.
So it's like, Oh my God, like how many like psychologically
and like romantically intimate relationships.
Have you even had bro? Like have you really talked
about your hopes and dreams? How many girls have you told
your hopes and dreams to, bro? How many, how many, how many
women have you unpacked your childhood trauma with, bro?
How many people have you LED into the deepest recesses of
your heart and your soul and to be truly and and really seen by
that person? Have you and seen bro?
Have you? Seen.
Because I get seen every day, man, and it's awesome.
I want that for you. Yeah, I just.
I want that. Yeah, I come home and my partner
rules and we don't fight about anything and we mutually respect
each other. And then we go to bed when we're
sleepy and it's great. Yeah, bro.
Like, do you share mutual respect and understanding, bro?
Yeah. The other day I was doing
something that was bothering her and she like brought it up and
we talked about it about why and you know.
Approach you from a place of mutual respect and
understanding. It was.
Fucking sweet we didn't have to do a whole three season sitcom
arc over it. Oh my God, it's we should do
that. That's what we should do.
We should have a podcast called Are You Even seen Bro?
Yeah, I was thinking like our Chad means life now.
Yeah. I don't know.
Chicken Chad for the soul. Chicken chads is fun to say.
Chicken Chad for the soul, that's.
Great. Well, I mean, I so many shows.
I mean, we've been watching New Amsterdam.
The Doctor show, Yeah. Like so many plot lines and so
many shows. Like, no, it's not that they
don't work for me, although they don't.
It's they like, make me angry because it's like you're showing
people that like, yeah, drama and tension in life comes from
being a shitty listener and not communicating and lying to
people about stuff nobody would ever lie about for any, you
know, like, the whole episode's like, oh, I I can't possibly
tell her that, Like, I didn't shower this morning or
something. And it's like, what?
Like, come on. Yeah, it's weird because it's
like, I always fall into that. Like, I understand why it has to
be that way because otherwise there wouldn't be a show.
It would just be like doctors doing their jobs and you know
what I mean? Like, and that's like, not like,
I mean, I would watch that show, but like, you know, but then
there's like it gets to the point because I'm so good at
like pattern matching. That's why I love those shows.
Because any of those shows, Grey's Anatomy, like New
Amsterdam, the Resident, like, you know, shows about doctor,
hot doctors sleeping with each other.
There's like a set of rules. There's a set of rules that all
of them follow. And like you can draw a picture
of like the way that the episode is going to like fall.
It's same with like SVU, right? And so like all like the really
good SVU episodes, like they all follow a certain format except
for the one don't. And then everybody's like, oh,
they wrote the format on this one is so crazy and they didn't
catch the guy or like whatever. A.
Certain procedure. Yeah, I'm just connecting now
that that's why they're called procedurals.
Jesus Christ. Yeah, 30 years old.
That's good. But yeah, but I love them
because they're just like, comforting.
But it's like anytime anybody makes a choice that is something
that they want, I'm like, bad call guys, bad call.
You can't want if you are a character in Grey's Anatomy, you
cannot want anything, right? Because if you want it, it's
going to go to fuck. You're going to get, you might
even get it for a little bit first, right?
And then the helicopter, you're going to get in a helicopter
crash and then you're going to get in another helicopter crash
because you wanted to get back on a helicopter.
Fuck you. 2 helicopter crashes. Like it's the rules.
It's the and I feel like. But it's like, I see it.
I see it in the work that I do. Like there are women who really
and truly like, watch these shows and goes, Oh, well, then
love means that there has to be like, all this conflict.
Like love means that, you know, oh, like he's been following me
around for six weeks. Like it must be love because he
won't leave me alone. Like, like there are these
really healthy perspective or unhealthy perspectives on
relationships that show up over and over and over in the media
that we consume. And I feel like like, I don't
know, it's how I will die on the hill that like, if just one
character on any fucking show was in a healthy polyamorous
relationship and just was like, oh, you, you talk to a hot girl
at a bar. Good for you.
I am so happy for you. You had a great night and then
you move on, right? But then it's like, no, I have
to be jealous. We have to get in a fight, and
then you have to come chase me in the rain and bring me flour.
Like it makes me so mad. I'm sorry.
I just talked to her. Really.
Long no, no, no, I was honestly I felt bad about how long I
talked about too. No, I mean it's it's it's a
vicious it's a cycle like I you know how like I'm I'm pulling
this out of my ass a little bit here, but how like the the tone
of like where are you and I'm so sorry.
It's like kind of a California accent, but like not a real
accent at all. How that came from people like,
you know, bands in the in the UK hearing bands in the US and
imitating their sound and then bands in the US hearing that and
then imitating that sound and then bands in the UK hearing
that. And so it just went back and
forth this like imitation until eventually it gets to like,
where are you? And I'm so sorry.
That's that's pretty good. Where are you?
No, that was fun. Where are you?
But yeah, I mean, I think culture and popular media is
that I mean, this might be this is like a basic white thing dude
to say, white dude thing to say. But like when I, I think it
leads to an immense amount of human suffering, not even, not
on, like a, on a huge old, but just on a day-to-day level
because it sort of constructs the way that we assume reality
is. I mean, I remember like in high
school, if I had a crush on somebody, I was such romantic
about it. Like, like there was one time I,
2 times actually, but I, I made them a bouquet of flowers
because we were, I was at boarding school And so you can
just like go buy flowers. And so I would like scab and
shit and I would like make them a bouquet of flowers out of like
paper and whatever else. That's so cute.
Oh my God, isn't it? That's so charming.
And I would leave one of them. I I asked her her favorite piece
of music and I printed out the music and I used the score to
make the flowers. That's delightful.
Isn't it? And then I like I left it in
their like cubby, you know, in their dorm, which I think is
very sweet. But to do that like early on
meeting somebody, I mean individual relationships on
their own. Maybe you, dear listener, are in
a relationship where that would have been fucking amazing right
off the bat. But like, that's a lot to do at
16 years old at boarding school when especially when you know
the person is a high level classical pianist or something.
And so they have like shit to do.
But I was just imitating the movies.
Like that's what you they do in the movies is a big grand
romantic gesture. We're like a big grand romantic
gesture to tell somebody that you like them.
It's like, you know, that's a choice.
You know, it's, I mean, maybe that's to sort of the choice you
make, but I wasn't making a choice.
I just thought that's what you did.
And anyways, I that's what bothers me about lazily written
plots in sitcoms is like, we then learned that that's what
reality is. And then sitcoms have to seem
realistic on some level. So writers imitate what they see
in everyday life, which is just people imitating the work that
they already did, you know, Grey's Anatomy or whatever the
fuck. Until eventually it becomes
actively hard as an adult to remember like, oh, we can just
love each other and that's it. You know, maybe we get into a
fight every once in a while or whatever.
But like, it doesn't have to be, I saw you looking at that guy
just because, you know, nothing happened in the last 20 minutes.
So you got to like make an event or something.
I don't know. Do you want to hear a really
crunchy story about a thing I did for a guy once?
Please. So when I was in 6th grade there
were so also very important to the story.
I'm not going to use real names because there were 18 people in
my graduating class. Like the people who know me from
my real life absolutely know who this person is.
It's fine. But anyway, so there was this
guy and we're going to call him Steve.
And Steve was like the funny guy in class.
And I had such a crush on him. Like I thought he was so cool
and he was so funny. And he was also like one of like
the athletes. And so he you know, he was like
1 of like the cool guys and I was not what you would call it.
And again, there were 18 kids in in the class.
I was not top 50% cool. Like I was easily bottomed 25%
in a class of 18 kids. Like I was struggling.
Who were you cooler then? I can't.
I'm not going to say I know who I was cooler.
Then I know you were going to say it.
I just wanted. To see, like, I can tell you I
was quantifiably cooler than two people.
I moved up a little bit in high school.
But like, is that right? Also, they're both.
And they're here tonight. Well.
I was going to say, and they're both incredibly successful
doctors now. Good job, good job, guys.
Different kinds of doctors, but they're both doctors.
We were like chasing women in glory.
They studied the blade this scalpel.
This scalpel and. His doctor is different than
surgeon. Yeah, that's cool though.
But yeah, so anyway, so anyway, so the cool, funny guy who we're
going to call Steve wore this like specific type of Cologne.
And I was like, I know I'm going to show him that I like him by
buying him Cologne for Christmas, which I gave to him
awkwardly in front of like half the school.
Well, and like, to be fair, it was junior high.
So it was like the 6th, 7th and 8th graders all shared the same
building. And like, there were 18, and I
think they were like 22 and like 14.
So like, this was like maybe a group of like 50 kids who saw
each other every day of our lives, right?
And so we didn't have lockers. We just had like hooks in the
hallway and so like everybody would come out and get their
backpacks and shit, 'cause again, 50 kids Max.
So I was like, gave it to him in the hallway in front of
everybody, but I was too scared to like talk to him.
So I just kind of like threw it at him and then like, and then I
was like, I think I was like, and he like looked at it.
I will never fucking forget. He like looked at it and he was
like, he clearly was like so uncomfortable.
And that was the moment where I knew I'd fucked up.
But he like was trying to be nice and he was like, wow,
thanks. And he like took it and just
like put it on top. There was like a top, like a
shelf above the hooks that people would like put our books
on to like put them in our backpack.
And he just like put it up there.
And I was like, I got to go. And that was and he was the only
person I got a Christmas present for too.
And the entire it was, it was deep cringe.
So how did you know what Cologne wore?
Did you recognize it by scent or did you see the I?
Feel like he like talked about it in like gym class or
something because it was also like that like 6th grade time
when boys were like just you know, it was before Axe body
spray, you know, but it was like that kind of thing.
Not before X body spray but it was like.
Before it was it was when axe and tag.
Yeah, tag. Everybody used tag.
Tag wars. Yeah.
God RIP tag Yeah. They lost.
They lost the wars. They lost the Descent Wars I.
Don't know, but yeah. So anyway, Steve, you, you know
who you are one, I hope your water skiing career is going
well. He's water stain.
He's water ski. Water skiing.
He became like a professional water skier.
He does like, yeah, he does like sick tricks and shit.
That's just sick tricks. He does he like, he's like, he's
like, you know, like in like the, the, like the like in
Wisconsin they have like the, like water skiing shows.
Do they do the thing where? It's like they do like a human
pyramid. Yeah, He, like did that.
He was like a professional water skier.
I don't know what he does lately but I remember like after high
school he did that for a while. It's just like.
Steve, if you're listening, get in touch.
If this were a Quinn Tarantino movie, we would have flashed for
like half a second with a very strong soundtrack of like, just.
Yeah, that. Yeah, that's very cool.
I always wondered how that worked because like there's not,
there's more weight from the more people, but there's not
more surface area on the skis. So like a boat, one's pair of
skis on one person can support the weight of that person and
presumably more, I guess. And so if you have a line of
people, each person is being supported by their own set of
skis. So you can have a line of
infinite people and they would still support the weight.
But as you start going up, you have more weight for the same
amount of surface area. So maybe the boat has to go
faster, or maybe water skis can hold way more weight than I
thought. We need to do some testing is
what I'm saying. We need to go get that squirrel
that can water ski, not the other squirrel.
Oh, I thought you were talking about Peanut.
I was going to get into the furious at you.
I was like, not now. I just.
Learned how fucked up that we don't have to talk about it, but
I just learned how fucked up that was.
Subject change. Subject change.
Oh, Speaking of fucked up shit, that's not a sad squirrel.
Did you hear about the new hilarious tick?
This isn't a joke by the way. Like this is a real thing.
The new hilarious TikTok prank I.
Have not. Oh, well, Eric, let me tell you,
it's so super funny, my dude. So the premise is you take a
woman who you know in your life will say your mom or your sister
or your girlfriend. All three have been unwilling
participants in this trend. And then you suggest that we go
on a walk. Let's go on a nice walk
somewhere, right? And then you get them into the
middle of the woods. And then you say to them, no one
is going to hear you scream. And then you film their
reaction. Isn't that a funny prank?
That's horrifying. Isn't that a funny prank?
So funny. Jesus, especially if it's like
your girlfriend, like if it's a blood rel, like obviously that's
horrifying across the board. But like like it.
Would take a lot for my mom to believe I'm gonna.
Yeah, there's been a couple of moms, though, who were like
instantly like. Christ.
Yeah, this super fun super. Just a prank, bro.
Hilarious. Don't do that.
Happening to the men in this country.
I don't know, but can you help 'cause you're great.
I speak. Bro, you're a good, you're like
a generally good dude. Thanks.
I don't wanna, I don't wanna make this about me, but because
I feel like that's a pretty cardinal sin right now.
But what about me, the most privileged class of person in
this go to? But no, I mean, I, I do feel a
sense of personal responsibility about it.
I mean, I because I remember like when I was streaming a lot,
part of the function of my streaming was video game
streaming thing. Like, you know, if you post on
TikTok about mental health, you're not going to get many,
you know, 15 year olds who also watched like Ben Shapiro videos
or something like that. But if you're a streaming GTA or
whatever, you know, yeah, you're going to get some people in, you
know, and being able to like catch them there and be like,
hey, look, you can find community from being fucking
nice and like enjoying things and love and stuff.
It's not, you know, whatever and catch them like there before
they go down the pipeline. Like that's.
That's why I want you to do your, like, maker tour.
Yeah, I want you to do your maker tour so bad, dude.
Yeah, I'd love to. I am I, I are you talking about
like the the crafting challenges, escape roomie thing?
Yeah, Yeah. Well, so the premise is.
That you wanna like, blow up your spot.
No, not at all. I mean I, I I wanna manifest.
It TMTMTMTM. But it's also because it's
something I can't directly work on.
Like, yeah, you know, I can write stuff down, but
ultimately, like I just it's administrative, the stuff that
needs to happen. But but yeah, I was thinking
Jill listener. And also I guess this is to
gauge interest. Remember, you can leave comments
if you're listening on Spotify. I'd love to hear.
Or e-mail us at infinitequest@gmail.com.
No. Ask at infinite what?
Ask@infinitequestpodcast.com That's what I definitely said,
yeah. For sure.
But so I just went to Maker Faire with Mike.
I think I talked about it in the last episode and it was awesome.
It's a bunch of people who make stuff, showing off this cool
stuff that they make. And anyways, I was thinking it
would be really cool to do an event.
So imagine it's like an escape room.
So you have like a team or it's like a duo or whatever and they
go into like these little, you know, curtained off rooms and in
the room is a table, but instead of like an escape room, it's a
crafting challenge. So you walk in and there's like
a paper cup, a needle, a a cake decorating stand, a battery
operated like little fan and an assortment of Lego wheels.
And then on on the table is also an unlabeled record like a like
ALP or whatever vinyl record. And the challenge is, tell me
what song is on this record? And the time starts now.
And so the idea is that the team would have to work together to
build a thing such that it would play the record enough that they
could hear it. And once they say, you know, I
don't know, some recognizable song, yeah, happy birthday.
It's like time. And you could have like a
leaderboard or not or whatever. But it would be stuff like that
to do it like, you know, conventions, wherever the fuck.
But I think that would be really cool.
And I just talked to some people.
I don't like name drop, like just talk to some people who are
very experienced with Maker Faire and doing like bigger
stuff like that. And it sounds like they've been
tossing around something similar, like they're they're
interested in that type of thing.
So like, which is not to say that like they're going to pick
it up or whatever, but I just mean to say that like, I think
that would be successful and I think that would be really cool.
And again, like catching younger people and try to introduce them
to that passionately. How many, you know, 19 year old
jerks would not be jerks if they discovered that they really like
making shit when they were 10 or whatever.
Or like how many angry 30 year olds would have a totally
different life and career instead of passions or just
passions if they had discovered, you know, because a lot of
making stuff is really intimidating because there are
people who are really fucking good at it who have, you know,
$1,000,000 studio as an access to the craziest tools and
materials ever. And so you're sitting there as a
nine year old, 8 year old with ADHD.
It's midnight, You're not going to sleep for another three
hours. Mom and dad are asleep.
Like I have nothing to do, but I do have a pair of scissors, some
duct tape, cardboard, and I. Don't know, there's paper.
Jesus Christ, there's, there's no jokes I can make about that
that I feel comfortable making on a podcast.
But you know, like, I mean, I was that kid and, and I don't
know, I had people who led me, you know, Adam Savage or, or
various Youtubers and stuff who like pulled me in that
direction. And I think if I had somebody
who looked at me like directly and was like, dude, you know,
you could that weird creative impulse that you have that you
might not know as a creative impulse yet.
You can satiate that with anything, literally anything,
dirt from the ground, like the wrapper of the thing that's
sitting next to you. Like that never has to go
unanswered. You can always, I mean,
sometimes you're driving or whatever, but like you can
always find a way to to satiate that and to play with that.
And because that's such a massively important part of my
life. But anyway, so I think it'd be
really cool to do something like that.
We wouldn't have to be like that much of like an escape room.
There's a score involved. You know, it could be like a
pass fail thing where like, you know, an egg drop type thing.
It could also just be like, you know, I get a bunch of broken,
you know, action figures and spaceship things and just
throwing a big pile with a bunch of hot glue or whatever and
saying, hey, kids, come on, we're making spaceships or
whatever you want. Give parents a break, too.
Yeah. But anyways, I think that would
be really cool. I would love to do something
like that. I'm surprised somebody isn't
already. You could be the change that you
want to see in the world, bubs. Yeah, dude, yeah, dude.
I also want you to get, well, I mean, you do whatever you want,
but you, you, you know, mentioned a couple times that
you could do the maker world stuff.
I yeah, I think you would like I, I just, I keep thinking about
like I want to get back into photography because I forget
that I really liked photography. Like I was really into.
You studied photography? Didn't you?
Yeah. I'm like, I really liked it, but
I think it was one of those like I just kind of picked it up as
like a hobby and then it kind of became like a kind of school
adjacent thing. And I was like, I really like
event photography. I really like.
And I was like, maybe like not like journalism, but it's like
maybe approaching content from more of like that perspective or
something. I don't know.
I've been like, I'm just trying to figure it out because I'm
sad. Yeah, it's scary to make stuff.
Yeah, in intense moments like this too.
Well, see, that's The thing is like, so I just watched this
dope ass movie, dear listener, you should watch it.
You would like it. It's called Lee and it's called
what Lee LEEL EE And it's about Lee Miller, who was a female
wartime photographer in World War 2, who wound up being one of
the first people to to document the concentration camps.
And her work was lost for like a really long time.
And then it re emerged in the 70s.
It was like in her attic. And so, yeah, so there's like
this. But anyway, she's like a wartime
photographer. Her her life story is like super
interesting and cool. Like she was like in like this
like super cool, like model and like artist in France.
And then like World War 2 happened.
And then she became like a journalist for Vogue and it was
really good. But anyway, but I was like, I
want to do that. Like there's part of me that
wants to like document and there's part of me that's like,
maybe that's what I should do is I should just get my camera gear
up here and just start like I don't, but I'm like, what do you
document? Like here's me looking sad on my
couch today. Have.
Have you seen that one photographer?
I'm not saying you should do this, but you know this.
There's one photographer whose name I totally don't remember,
but if you Google like Candid St. photos, he'll be like a
first one. But basically he, he's this guy
was, and I don't know if he's still alive, who would walk
around. He had like a smaller camera.
I don't know enough about cameras to really say what it
was, but it was like an unassuming camera.
You know, you wouldn't immediately be like, holy shit,
that guy's got a fucking camera. And he kind of just walked
around. He had this look like he didn't
really know what he was doing with it.
You know, like a, a person, you would just sort of walk past in
the street and like be like that guy, you know, and he would just
sort of walk around and, and his demeanor allowed him to get very
like he was, he was sort of invisible in a way.
Like he could just sort of walk around and, and he would just
take pictures, but they were so like he wouldn't even like stop
and take a picture. He would just sort of wave the
camera in such a way and just, and I'm sure he took a million
terrible pictures, but just out of those you've got these
moments that were just insane. I think I know what you're
talking about. Like there's a, there's one, one
of my here is just a close up of a man's face who's like almost
not in frame, but it was like the very moment he realized
somebody was standing there. And there's just like this
honesty in his face. It's just the strangest thing.
But anyways, there's just, there's always stuff to take
pictures of, you know? Yeah, Isn't this like, I don't
know, I also really like that sort of like black and white
capture photography. Totally, but.
I was like I could do that. My mind I'm like it would be
cool to take pictures on cameras that you made.
Novelty. That would be really cool.
So like, or like I thought about getting like an old camera, like
a film camera because I feel like the thing with like DSLRs,
like they're great, but it's like you can just camp behind it
and take 5000 shots. And I think it'd be kind of cool
to have like one of those like, old cameras.
Really to be very deliberate in. The View Hey, speaking about
being deliberate, we have to deliberately end the podcast
now. Yeah, I.
Was going to say I don't know if we were going for 1/2 an hour or
an hour. That's great.
We get that nice happy medium. Hey everybody.
Well, let's see, do we have any announcements?
I don't know if I have anything right now.
The book is booking I. Know I was just I was thinking
about working in the stable book we'll.
Talk about it later, I. Know we just haven't gotten an
update on the while and it's the whole fucking thing it is
happening like there's no like it's total.
It's just there's no more information on timeline to give.
I just want to get this guy's name this the.
I think there's like a yeah. The street photograph hair.
What else? Hold on, let me check my
calendar. Bruce Gilden.
Let me check my calendar. Oh hey, bad news everybody.
Unfortunately, my mom is dealing with some health stuff and so I
am going to be going home to Illinois to be with her over the
holidays. So that does mean that I'm not
going to be at PAX U. So if you're going to PAX U for
me, there's better stuff there anyway.
But I'm very sorry, I won't be able to make it this year, but
hopefully next year and I'll be back at Gen.
Con next year. Oh, I do have a cool.
No, I can't announce it yet. Just kidding.
I have a cool thing, but you'll find out about it later.
And yeah, D3 at C went really, really well.
Had a great time. The swag bag was the most
impressive swag bag that I've ever seen in my entire life.
Really. I don't think I've seen.
This it was. It was ridiculous in my two
guys. I'll show you it was.
Ridiculous. It was the swaggiest swag bag
that I've ever seen, Really. Yeah.
They got like, I don't think I'm supposed to say the number on
the podcast, but they got like a shocking amount of free stuff,
really. Yeah, from the cruise.
No, from the sponsors, cuz they're all these sponsors who
sponsor the event. They bring custom dice and dice
trays and stuff. It was so great I.
Guess it is a more exclusive. It's not like thousands and
thousands of people have. Gone.
Yeah. It was like a little group and
everybody made friends. It was so nice, you know?
I don't have anything to announce.
I do. I'm more connected in like the
Maker Faire community now though, and I help Mike with his
stuff. So if you see a Maker Faire near
you, there is a chance that I'll be there.
It's worth looking into. I'll announce stuff that I I do,
but. And as we gear up for the
holidays, I am pleased to announce that once again, I have
put off making the Turkey video till the last minute and it will
be not be coming out this year. I'm really sorry.
Maybe we'll do like a like a Turkey Part 2 or something.
But I know that many of you have written in to tell us that you
listen to it every year as a holiday tradition.
But like. You said that episode's still.
Yeah, we'll post a link to it again, but like, I'm so mad.
I had like I started scripting it in like literally February
and now it is November. No, maybe just throw it away.
Just fucking make it, you know? Or not or, but I just, I wanted
to be like, I have such a specific vision for what I want
it to be. And it's like a fully realized
documentary. And then there's part of me
that's like, maybe I should just make a fully realized
documentary about the Turkey and A Christmas Carol just to get it
out of me. Like, and then I can, I never
have to deal with it ever again. And I can call like Ruth Goodman
and be like Ruth Goodman. Come be in my documentary.
You could. Go to like London, like film and
shit, like see, but now I'm talking like because I also feel
this way about I feel this way about the Turkey video and I
feel this way about the comedy special.
And both of those things are like, I don't know if that's
like a, but I really fucking want to do it.
Yeah, maybe it's like. Just make the best fucking
documentary, yeah. I keep thinking like it'd be
cool if it was like maybe even interview format, like it's an
interview. Like it's not necessary.
This is totally your thing. I don't mean to tell you about
it, but it's so it, rather than have it be a documentary about
the size of a Turkey in The Christmas Carol, it's a
documentary about the story of you finding out how big the
turkeys in A Christmas Carol. So then I had to figure out.
So it's like we're following you.
But see, I want to do the thing though, where it's like, and
we're here in London's West End where this road has existed for
500 years. And like in 1843, like that's
what I want to do is I want to have the like thing where I'm
like, and if you could look at this map and then like walk down
the street and while you're doing it, me like, and it
probably would have taken Bob Cratch at about 15 minutes to
walk from home from this because we have the maps.
We have the maps of London. So you like hypothetically go, I
mean, you might be like walking through a skyscraper or
something. But like, I'm just saying, it'd
be so. So anyway, what I'm saying, if
there's any documentary producers who want to get get at
me, ask at infinitequestpodcast.com or
kate@katiosaurus.com. I also think it'd be funny again
your thing if there was just an unnecessary shot.
Not an unnecessary shot, but a shot of you with a Turkey.
So we were like the Turkey and you're just this is a Turkey.
And then it cuts back. Just like, why do they live
Turkey? They spent like a whole day
going to a place where there's Turkey, just a Turkey to get a
shot of you. I would go to a Turkey farm for
that. That's funny, I don't.
Know I came and lost myself. Also, I'm trying to figure out
how I could justify like interviewing people from Muppet
Christmas Carol. Like I would like Michael Caine
has to be there for some fucking reason.
That would be so like interview all the famous Scrooges about
their like be like and I here's Patrick Stewart to talk about
how much he does or does not like Turkey.
Who's your favorite Scrooge? Oh my God, that's such a hard
question. Yeah, I'm sorry.
That's a big one, a big up at the very end.
I Michael Caine is up there, but I also honestly think that fuck,
what is the name of that movie that just came out?
The one with Ryan, 10. Spirited.
Yeah, that is honestly that is a
slut dog fucking movie. I give in 20 years that movie is
gonna be a Christmas classic. People didn't know what to do
with it, but like it is that is a good fucking movie.
But my favorite version of Christmas Carol is the musical
version that featured the Kelsey Grammar.
And so like Kelsey Grammar was in that, but but he wasn't like
a particularly good Scrooge. Like that was the thing.
It's like the musical is great. The book and the lyrics are
fantastic. His fun fact?
Written by the guy who did The Little Mermaid, No.
Way was was it like a a film thing or was it like a stage?
Well, OK, so it was a stage. It was a stage thing in New York
for years and years and years. Like they would do this
production every year. And then they made it into like
a made for TV movie. And it had like a bunch of like
famous people in it, like the whose names I can never
remember, but they had the lady from 30 Rock, Gina Fey, no the
Jane. Krasinski.
Yeah, Jane Krasinski. She plays the Ghost of Christmas
Past and she's so great. And that's also my favorite song
in the whole movie. But yeah, it's very good.
And there's also you can listen to the soundtrack.
The Kelsey Grammar 1 is really hard to find out because I think
like something happened with the rights, it doesn't matter.
But you can listen to the original Broadway soundtrack on
or the original cast recording on on like Spotify and Amazon.
It's purple. It's purple.
I don't think I've ever seen the Patrick Stewart Scrooge.
It's old. It's a.
It's a much older version, but it's pretty good.
Huh. I'm picturing him from Hamlet
with David Tennant. It's like very different
character. Yeah.
Well, I mean. How similar is how?
Similar is Claudius and Scrooge. You can make a compelling like.
I mean, it's you're not casting against type if you cast the guy
who plays Claudius as the guy who plays Scrooge.
Yeah. Anyway, I think it's funny.
We, I think we have a thing where one of us will say usually
you will say like, OK, well, we gotta wrap it up.
And I feel like whoever's listening is gonna be like,
there's 12 minutes left in the episode.
Yeah. I feel like there's like that
you do that like podcast going up.
It's like when you're like driving.
And you're like, Oh no, it's not.
No, it's not. There's.
No way they have that much housekeeping.
Yes, that concludes housekeeping and a miniature lecture on A
Christmas Carol. Thank you for being here.
Well, hey everybody, what are you doing?
I was being a weirdo. But anyway, thanks for being
here, everybody. We know this is a really weird
time, but we just want to let you know that we appreciate you
and we see you and we value you. So Please remember to drink some
water. Please remember to drink some
water, Please remember to eat a snack.
Please remember to take your meds.
Remember to be kind to yourself, remember to be kind to others,
and remember that we love you and.
Remember that a baby puffin is called a puffling.
Is that true? Yeah.
Very cute. What's the name for the child of
a version? Like a cub or like a a kid?
Kangaroo A. Puffling.
Yeah. Well, what's the general term
for that? A ping, A puff often No,
there's. A linguistic category.
I don't know well. I didn't expect you to.
Let us know in the comments. Bye.