Katie. I'm so excited because I don't
know corn to do. So you know, this isn't the
mission. My friend Uncle Matt's.
We're getting another player. It's a knuckle nut.
That's his name. It's got like 14 and we legally
have a character named Knuckles nuts.
Wait a minute thinks he's gonna be a liability in.
This podcast, is a guy named blumpkin.
By the way, how many legs do you think that guy has?
My money is all 14 all waiter Hey you.
Hey, you might be thinking oh this is a D&D episode.
I don't know anything about D&D. Why would I I'm going to?
I'm going to not listen to us and go do other stuff.
No, it's a good episode. We worked hard on it and it's
funny and I talk like this the whole time because my
character's name is Bluff. Caen and he's a country bumpkin
blumpkin. He's a dumb guy and he doesn't
know how to tie his shoes. Listen to the episode.
Hi everybody. It's me, Katie source and
welcome back to cait and Eric's infinite quest in ADHD
Adventure. You found yourself.
At episode 7. Congratulations.
We have a very special episode for you today because we are
playing Dungeons and Dragons. I am playing a tiefling clerk,
whose name is helvetica else tariff the L stands for Leslie
and yes I did crowdsource. My name from the group chat on
Tick Tock when we broadcast this live.
So thank you to everybody who helped me name, helvetica, and
now, Like really emotionally attached to the name.
So it all worked out pretty well.
And Eric is playing a barbarian half-orc.
Whose name is blumpkin. This was not my choice.
Yep, that's gonna be the episode.
Here we go. So, before we begin our
adventure, we do have a couple of housekeeping notes, first and
foremost. If you are interested in
supporting infinite Quest, we do have a patreon, it is
patreon.com backslash infinite Quest.
And if you're strapped for cash, like we normally are the Best
way that you can support the podcast for free is to leave us
a review and a few stars on your podcast.
Venue of choice. Leaving us a review helps get
the word out, and if you don't mind sharing the podcast around,
we always appreciate that as well.
So, okay, about this week's episode.
I've Loved D and D for a very, very long time.
And Eric, and I got to talking, and I found out that Eric had
never played Dungeons & Dragons before.
Obviously, I had to rectify that and as it happened - Husband,
Chris is an incredible DM. And so we decided for fun that
we would do a One-Shot Dungeons and Dragons campaign to kind of
introduce Eric to playing the game and what it's like.
And then things went downhill very quickly from there.
So we originally designed this episode as a One-Shot, but with
everything involving ADHD, it turned into something that is
longer than an episode. So what we've decided to do is
we are actually going to break up a Eric's, very first,
Dungeons and Dragons experience into a three or four episode
spectacular. However, if you listen to this
and you decide that you absolutely have to know what
happens, right away, we will be releasing the entire session on
patreon and you can get early access to find out what happens
to our fearless adventurers. We also do the live
character-building session on Tick, Tock, and we let people
sort of help us build our characters, so that will be on
the future as well. So without further Ado, in the
grand Tradition of Dungeons and Dragons.
We now start with episode 7 where we find ourselves in a
Tavern transition. Bone, you wake on your small but
moderately cozy Tavern beds to the chiming of the clock tower
bum. You're in the small town of both
the onus where you have launched the past several days.
As you've been traveling in search of work bong rolling
inside check first. Okay, so you want to take that
one that says 2020? 20, mmm and you want to roll
that. So if he says it's might roll
yours down to her. So if Chris, if you say check
without like a specific thing after that, it means D20.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Okay.
Do it. In fact, in general if I'm if
you're not supposed to roll a D20, I'll tell you if you're
okay, something. 16, okay, ain't okay. 13.
Okay. This might that was my first
ever done. That was my first every guy role
in any game of the Indie. Those are first was a pretty
good roll after an extended period of unemployment bong.
You finally got a lead. You're going to meet this
morning with octopus bong, a health Noble seeking assistance
on a journey through the unified Forest.
Unified Force, connects the town of V the interest to the Klein
held and range which opens The world Beyond bong but it's name
comes less from the unity. It brings between these locales
and more from its primary residence.
The unified Forest is known for its dense unicorn population
bong. Most know that unicorns are
intelligent be so the strong sense for good and evil bong.
While they are largely peaceful Arturo's remains deeply, phobic
of them bong. And the forest in general,
you're scheduled to meet them at ten to discuss plans for the
journey and we're late bong. Oh we're late shit.
Oh my God. I mean feel free to roll a
perception check. I was counting relate.
I think, oh, we could have been counting the Bells.
We could have been can we could have actually been counting the
bells and then we would know you are doing those bells,
deliberately feel free to feel free.
What do you want perception? Check do a perception check do
but you do it with disadvantage because you have ADHD.
Do we both get? I got a nine both times, okay?
And did you roll drove for a little bit?
So you're going to roll twice and then you have to take the
lower score. This is okay.
Okay. Advantage would be the opposite.
Yeah, cool. That is a 15.
The rolls out of 40. Yep.
So yeah you're not sure whether it was the 10th Earth Gil, host
belt but uh, shit. So yeah, what do you do is there
a way? How do we, how do we know who
acts for a we act we act simultaneously but we just, we
have to talk sequentially but yeah, I mean most of the time
you're going to act in conjunction.
Okay. So is there a window in the room
in which we are? Yes, there is a there is a, look
out the window and see the clock tower.
Katie. I'm so excited.
Okay, you're gonna be good places.
You can see the tail. You can see the back side of the
Clock Tower from your fuck. Okay, um we got we always wait a
minute, did I do? No it didn't.
Where's the Sun? I mean, it's like you can just
like brightest and so it's a mean it's certainly daylight.
We can't tell the difference between 10:00 or 11:00.
Yeah it's sort of hard to say but you're in this room in this
ear. Tavern how do you sleep?
Because you both both woken up like you need time to get
dressed probably. Yes.
So we're assuming we're in it. We're not we're like we're not
dressed. I mean I don't like art.
Are you implying that we're in bed together?
Because that know, you have separate.
That's very gifts, ever bets. You have separate that,
complicates all of us, you single?
So also how specific like let's say, I just said, let's say,
like I say we should leave immediately the do I have to
tell you that? I get dressed.
I mean, you don't necessarily but just like, you know, big of
a dick or you going to be like, I don't know.
You have to get up and get ready.
See this instance? All right, so maybe relate to
this a poke. So I think we should just leave
this. Umm, we're late and just go.
I think we're, yeah, I think. All right.
So so blumpkin says, what's your name again?
How about again? Hey, have Erika, we go?
Yeah, that's gonna hurt. No, here it is.
Oh gosh, can I do that? No, you should not.
Hey, hey, how's that? Give me a second.
He's finding his voice. People have Attica.
Hey, Health Attica helvetica. He America.
Oh my God. This is, this is this is quality
quad. Contact your health Attica.
Hey, you're very good. Well, that might be it.
Hey, a very good. I think we should really go
outside GE balance. Gurgly.
Uh-huh. Yeah, why would you have a very
good? I think we should go.
I'd heard so much very good. Alright, I'm doing that one.
Is that what you're going with a little?
Cause, you think I can consistently do that without
telling you? Yes or no.
I'm just telling gotta go. Yeah, I'm doing that one.
Okay, so I say, oh my gosh, this is I'm nervous.
I'm just what I'm going with. All right.
So, so blumpkin gets up and says, oh, hey, how many graphic
we should probably go? I don't know if it was 10 or 12
Bells, but, or whatever it was, but we should probably get out a
suitable to get on going. I thought you were going to sit
be alone. Sip.
These are how they're gonna talk to each other?
Well, I thought you were gonna say there's a whole cocktail.
There's also the Sun and is alike a.
Probably a rooster around here or something?
I don't know. All right, well, off tourists
ought to doctors October. This is not going well, the hell
with that. I did my best but apparently it
was not correct. You can't metagaming in
character. Can't you know, you can't look
at it. Is about the content.
Now, I'm just Rich. Victorian Widow.
God, damn it always. So, if you get like three lines
before, it turns into Richard ring Widow, I'll find it.
It's fine. I got it away from this might be
Smite. My voice is so stupid, laughs,
very excited. I'm so excited about this.
He again, most of practice of my voice clearly.
Okay. All right.
So let's go. We decide that we're going to
leave get dressed. Let's go.
Okay, so do we both have to say like this is what I do to you.
Or maybe just to say you can you can act independently or you can
act together you can, you can make those two.
So do I have to tell You like I reach for my shoes or can I say
like no you don't have to go and we do you can say you get
dressed in these Leaf, okay? All right, we get something
really, very carefully puts her. Holy symbol around her neck and
she takes a moment to send herself at the beginning of her
day and then she leave. Yeah.
And I also know you you your meeting in this tavern.
That you've been saying that. No man.
So at least you don't have to go far, you go downstairs and you
are in the vowel of the both e honest.
Volo thing on us, again. It's the town you were in.
As you come down the stairs, you see?
It's a it's a fairly nice though.
Admittedly somewhat rustic. Tavern, follow thing has a small
town and this is a small Tavern within it.
That said it has its fair share of things like deer heads on the
wall. There's a giant Boar Head.
Over the Bar, I would like to roll a perception, check to see
if I see a He told man in a red shirt and a smaller man,
following him around with a, with a, with a blunderbuss.
You can request. You can request.
Yeah, you can. I mean, you can request to make
certain roles that anytime you, like, I'm looking for something
in this, dude, you can roll a perception check.
And you had this Advantage because you have ADHD.
Okay. Do we all agree?
We all we all I rolled a natural one.
Goddamn it. We always have a disadvantage.
That's a blur. Well I rolled a natural one so
that's going to be, that's going to be it.
Yeah so Gaston is not here in the town of not here in the
tavern. In fact you you really get into
looking at like they have this really interesting specimen on
one of the walls and it distracts you and your okay.
So here's the thing use antlers and all of their Decker they
absolutely hate it because well okay can I roll a perception?
Check to see, I want to see if there's like a tall.
Red dressed woman with like big red hair with like a really
solid firm outline, just one rule for that.
Are you trying to find Carmen Sandiego?
I know I'm not gonna stay home looking for in July, unless I
can roll for it. Sure, roll a perception.
Check, there we go. Those are 19 but it'll get a
disability 7. Yeah, you do not see Jessica
Rabbit. I do this
down in the tavern. I'm downstairs.
And you're so distracted looking for the people shit.
The random people that you might, you know, that might be
there that you completely ignore the three people that are that's
nice wanted to make sure that Gaston was not there.
Okay, and I want to make sure that the I wasn't still tripping
from cartoons. So there's there's three,
there's three figures of our. They're all honestly, sort of
keeping their distance from one another Behind the bar is a
female human. She is bold and Broad, female
with brown hair and, you know, big tracks of land.
But is full-figured regardless. She looks tough as nails and
obviously has to be because she's running the bar, and
generally the entire Tavern, you actually know her from when you
checked in, in the place, her name is Lou tree.
And she is one part, pardon one part Bartender Bartender.
She's a bartender. She's a bartender.
Yeah, sorry. I said what I mean she tends to
bards because my character could be barred.
If she's cheap? She would, she would not
appreciate that humor. I'm just going to say this
before we even go on a mission. Well, he didn't say that.
I was just thinking, uh, you notice standing at a distance
From her is a tall slender high elf of indeterminate gender.
What's his name? October's is that?
I feel like I spelled it wrong and now I just feel like I'm
going to say it wrong all the time because it's what I
committed to. It's like, it's like for it's
like it's like eight doughnuts and then sitting at doctors and
then sitting at somebody going. Yep.
And then sitting at one of the tables is like League the
broadest gnome you've ever seen like this, this guy is a known
that is built like like some men truck and he is looking
completely unfriendly to visitors though.
You know, you're certainly free to do to to speak as you will
about other to these strangers. You've you, you do not.
You've Not met October us, you've heard of him.
And so you do not know, you know, you know, he's not loo
tree but he could be either of these two strangers.
Okay? Well, seeing as you told us that
I've Taurus is a high. Oh, sorry.
Yes, one is going. Yeah, I'm going to be sure.
Sorry, that was my mistake. That's my mistake.
Yeah, you don't have to fight The Gnome.
Yeah. Wait, why would we have
friendly? And I just assume that
everything is a trap. We like, hey, man, are you here?
Dad? You be like punch him in the day
like doctores like eyes Yerevan, is because you're late.
I beg your pardon sir. I was at.
You are an hour late. Yes, I was at my daily prayers.
I do beg your Indulgence. And what is his excuse?
He was helping. Yeah, yeah.
Helping with your the helping you with that.
A remember what my mother in your ear prayers?
I was having with her prayers. Yeah.
Oh, the food with your holy little, but I do beg your
Indulgence but we have heard that you are in need of
assistance. What can we do?
My daily devotions are a part of both my religion and my culture.
And while I do understand I must, in fact, beg your
forgiveness and say, let us start fresh with a clean slate.
May I offer you a drink, my friend.
Yeah. Thanks.
Do you think you think they have Squirt Soda you?
And I've seen, you realize it is 11:00 in the morning.
Correct. Oh yes.
But there you were talking to him.
You know, one not need to. Ink alcohol.
I simply want to share a drink with you and see how we may
offer you our assistance. I agree with her fine.
We can discuss how if you would care to to buy me a drink and
you can sit in one of the tables and I will I will join you.
And what would you wait? Wait wait wait wait.
Let me let me get this one. What would you like ran.
I will take a honky honey tea. That's all right, if that's how
you want it. Do you have any money on you?
I don't know if I am and I can check real quick.
Yes, we do have money. I'm trying to actually have it
on. You have Tangled.
Okay. Yeah, we got it.
We got it enough. It's enough to get you.
I still pretend that I don't have money on me and it's all
right. I pass you a fucking thing, a
goal. And then I say I will actually
have the same. Can you please go to loo tree
and For our drinks, while I speak with our friend.
Yeah, sure. Can I get one too?
Is that? Of course, you can't do.
Do I need any more money on how much you need is cause sugar
fan? All right, there's product I'm
going to change and just let me know you're not going to need to
change. That's fine.
All right, well by all right, I'll see you later.
I'll be back soon about tall guy.
Back tourists, where they can check my notes before.
Oh, boy, things have certain against Patty in that in that
the tavern. Hey, everyone, it's me bunking.
I'm the number of the guy from before that the half-orc
Barbarian, and I'm supposed to talk to you about the Patron, on
patreon Patron, on patreon Patron, the patreon patron.
Oh, I don't know, I got it. Hey everyone.
It's me Blanca, and I'm here to talk to you about the pattern on
its Patrick Patterson on page. Patreon.com/lenguin.
It Quest. I got it.
The last time he did it was while I was, right?
Well, if you, we spend a lot of golden honey tea today, so if
you want to help us make more of these Adventures have more of
these adventures and tell them telling you about it, then go to
patreon.com/scishow, finished Quest.
And it will be really be a really nice thing.
You could do. So I was telling you about my
battle. Axe rad is that we should
probably get back to the adventure, the adventure.
Oh yeah. That's right.
Those, that whole thing we just did.
All right there is Monica, all right, hey, I'm gonna go
everybody, but obviously, you can have out you and enjoy the
rest of the show transitional transition. so as you approach a
loot Rishi kind of eyes you over and like eyes October's over ice
you over and sort of Looks at you and goes so you're going to
be traveling with him man. Secret voice diem was good.
Wait, are you wait, but I was walking away.
I'm gonna do. The bartender asked I missed
that because I was thinking, yeah, you're not in this
conversation. I was thinking about something
else. So you the parts are ask me.
You're gonna be traveling with them traveling with the hell,
right? Yeah, I guess so.
I don't really, really know what I'm doing out here.
But, but whenever I go with, have Erika, she always seems to
know what's up sighs. I just anyways, could I get
some? You have honey tea.
I'll all three of those please. Yeah, we got we got some hunt.
A here looking weak. Get that set up.
Cool, cool. You, you know, I just, I'd say
though, you need to consider your company your options here.
You know, I've Taurus is not the only one that's traveling
through needs needs help. Traveling through them, their
Woods for you. If you wanted, I'm here.
I could use some help myself. I got some family, I've been
looking to visit, oh well, I'm not really the decision maker.
I should probably check with Leslie.
Have etiqa excuse. Sometimes they're called a lives
because we're just such good friends.
I don't know, I have to check with her but that he maybe you
could come with us, you know, he'd come with us, will lead you
to. Well, here's the thing with us.
Anyway with that hole. Oh, you don't like that.
You mean, the total volume gonna have to make some hard choices,
you know, even if you were don't like the elf, even if you don't
like, even if you don't like me, certainly find better company.
And even that hot Little Gnome over there, he's looking to
travel to. All right, well then II turned
in vaguely and helvetica is and October is his Direction and
whispered loudly that so that she can still clearly hear me.
Hey, have it good? This woman wants to go to if she
gives heart. Yeah, how do you whisper in this
voice? I'm just, I'm gonna pretend you
can't have Erika YouTube. Do you reckon this woman should
come? If she gives us enough of them,
the little gold pieces and helvetica looks over from the
conversation. She doesn't like that guy.
I'm just letting you know what just happened with October's?
I just now remember she say and I said to him the car so I said,
pistachio ahaha Lumpkin. Laughs pretending he understood.
I'll let you and I won't, I won't always penalize.
You roll perception. Check on October has, as you
continue your conversation with them.
Oh that is a 15. You notice that he does not sit,
he doesn't sit. No, he does not sit.
He's just standing there. He's just and also why didn't
you have to roll twice for you? Even if you move, if I'm not
always going to give you guys a great disadvantage on that
because it seems overly cruel. Even as funny as thanks, because
I think if it's something that would that ADHD would
legitimately encumbered then? Okay.
Use it. You know, it's all use this
sparingly but you you noticed that I can't like even as you
move to a table towards does not sit.
It's quite fine with me rice so that I can looks over to where
it blumpkin is. Awkwardly stage Whispering
across the Box. Flew tree is retrieving your
drinks while this is happening wonderful.
And so I say Lumpkin. Dear, why don't you?
That's a new voice. Why don't you come over here and
we'll discuss. This is Friends.
Yes, come over here. Come on, come on.
Come like Lumpkin. Blumpkin looks looks at
helvetica, and then looks back, too.
Low tree and sort of gauge, it just sort of tries to make his
choice figures it out and then slowly goes.
I do okay. And then Lumbers on over to the
table. Watch as she, what did she say?
She said that she said that she's looking to go through the
forest, the the eunuch, the one with the unicorns in it, she's
looking to go through and I don't know, maybe there might be
some money and is if she wants us to she know we could bleed
This Tall ohayou still. Up.
All right, I guess yours. One of those standing guys.
I'm kind of a standing out to now that I think of it.
Yeah, I feel that, you know, you feel total, your slender frame
you. Excuse me.
Oh, yeah. Well, I have Annika what we
talked about again. Oh, wait, I remember you.
You showing that you are up to this challenge.
Of course we are. I, my friend is perhaps lacking
in tact? Like, am I too dumb?
Should I be found it up? I'm having a great time,
perfect. Ya-hoo-ee, we do.
Whatever you want to do. This is how you D&D, Eric?
Okay choice. I guess aunt, it's just, yes.
And maybe you saw this where I'd say you're here, I say yes.
Intelligence and wisdom, so you're not very smart.
Yeah, my daughter's, my lowest, a little charming and that makes
sense. Is that skin?
All right, cool. All right, you're doing a great
job, but thanks, okay, to let you know who can claim for what
I assume is five minutes, but that's probably not right.
It's not right. And it's all right, cool.
Okay, thank you. All right, so I'm helvetica
looks at October has and she says, I must apologize for my
friend. He what he lacks in smart.
He certainly makes up for in What you might call Smacks, it's
just smarts and smack sort of situation here.
That'd be a pretty good band name.
We have a word here is I heard that I heard the lady over there
as a bartender. Maybe we could get some
mayonnaise, we start a band. I don't know the wonderful idea.
Blumpkin why don't you go check on our drinks?
Oh yeah she'll probably just right over there.
I'd Lumber loudly over there my feet, making a lot of noise,
nutria still sort of like in the drinks in line and the way that
a four-year-old would, you know, when they just put a lot of
their Force just directly into the ground, they killed So I
think helvetica is going to look at up Taurus and say, well, it
seems that we find ourselves in a scenario that we did not
necessarily expect. So may I ask my friend, are you
open to the notion of traveling with more than one companion?
I can certainly say that as a person who has traveled much
myself, they're more the merrier.
And also, the more the safer most more often than not.
I would strictly Fornot. Hmm.
I've private business. That I may have to tend to
occasionally on our travels and I do not enjoy the company of
will either Lou tree or nasty Little Gnome over there and so I
would rather go it alone. Hmm.
May I ask my friend, what what sort of compensation are you
offering for a trip such as this?
Pumpkins holding in a fart. And he sort of smiles, a little
bit just to just like, just because he knows that you would
be proud of. He knew that he was holding in a
fart. Well, it hurts so much to laugh.
Eric, I'm willing to pay basically 20 gold up front.
That would be 20 goto piece and then on completion of a Jenny
you would receive 50 gold. Why don't we do this while I
understand your hesitancy to take on other companions?
Again, I must stress that this is a risky journey and it's one
that must be handled. Carefully particularly with the
nuanced. Shall we say Tendencies of our
unicorn friends as such I will offer you a bargain half your
rate 20 gold at the start and 25 gold at the end.
We'll save you some money and we can all maybe come to an
arrangement. Does that sound all right?
Block and say blumpkin says, I don't know their math.
Really adds up and pumpkin chews on his lower lip and sort of
looks around the room and goes oh never mind yet.
Does he still not? Really sure?
But you look really sure. And so he just wants you to
think that he's smart. And so he was, oh nevermind.
You rat. October us sort of like rolls
his eyes and he even says you'll certainly free to try but I
fight feel certain that that New tree.
And no, will very likely not take you up on such an offer
themselves. Well, all we can do is try,
can't we? All right, if you don't mind why
don't you tell us? Can you tell us a little bit
more? Yes.
But well, I never I'm not bunking you are now yet well,
but you never The Gnome. I know that the gnome also It's
travel, but I never told helvetica or tourist.
Yeah. That, you know, would also like
to travel. You know, I never told you Doris
knows that there's like all three of them know that they
have to hit the road. Okay.
But they do not want to drop together.
Okay? So got you got, you got chunks
of write to me or not? I was telling Eric.
Okay, all right cool. Maybe I have a plan, I don't
know if I have plan holds grateful, figure it out.
Okay. So my friend, you mentioned that
you were embroiled in business. Is there anything that we should
know before we embark on this journey together at obviously in
offer of protection, is also an offer and an extension of our
trust and because we're going to corns can tell good from bad new
tenses up at those the just the word unicorn.
OCH Taurus, why can't you sit down?
I would rather not discuss it October has.
Once again, I must I must stress that we cannot escort you on
this journey. If there is a, shall we say bad
blood between you and the unicorns?
Because I'm not willing to risk the health and safety of myself.
Oh, my compadre blumpkin blumpkin Smiles because in
pretending to know what that weird movies with you in
secretly, he assumes it means like the highest compliment and
he leans over and says this guy's got like 14 legs under
them. It was way too many legs, he's
going to be a liability. He then, even when we
understands back straight up and is very proud of himself for
knowing what the word, liability doctores tenses up.
And basically, basically goes then, perhaps you would rather
find another travel companion. Well, October's, I certainly do
not want to be a disappointment, but I would worry that going in
Without knowing the full sort of situation that you find yourself
in. I'm not willing to commit and
take that risk for me or my friend.
So either you start talking or we start walking look.
All you need know, is that I suffered oh he's ready to give
me just a second and he loved his back over trauma and I would
rather not discuss it right? I I do apologise for intruding,
you needn't Say anymore, or if you don't mind I'm going to
assist my friend with the T, the T, the T, it was T, right?
Misty was honey tea, honey. Um, II.
Don't know how if this scans with the rules but blumpkin is
only like, halfway over to the thing and you like, catch up
with me. So I have enough time before we
get to the actual bar to lean down and slightly more
successfully whisper, but still not very successfully at all me.
Like what if his woman gives a more money?
But I'm kidding someday. I'll go to teach you about the
rule of diminishing returns but for now just go with what I say.
All right, is that like okay as this is happening, you can see
that the gnome and the corner is like, like cat, like like
shooting eyes in your direction, like trying to like get your
attention without really speaking up, okay?
Bloom can if you would Would you mind asking our friend at the
bar, which you? Sorry.
So, I have perception is one of my skills.
Can I roll to see if I notice him?
Laughing at me. Absolutely, I'm getting it,
everybody. All right, you're doing it.
You're playing Dungeons and Dragons, why disadvantage?
No, not in this case. No because I feel like I would
be looking around the room, too, it's a 14.
Yeah you can. You definitely spot him like
cool. I don't say anything to sort of
note it. All right.
Helvetica steps up to the bar. And and she has this like habit
helvetica has of constantly sort of playing with her holies up.
That's out of filthy. What I said it out loud.
It's not the necklace. She's got like a necklace and
she like chores are playing with her.
Holy symbol with my Holy Hill better cause you can't fingers.
He's never true but I gotta leave it to the bar or less with
this fucking Cherokee. It's really do you want some
water? I'm fine.
Okay. And she says she's a she says,
excuse me, my friend here. Informs me that you are, perhaps
looking for Passage through the unified Forest.
Is this correct? Indeed, I am.
Well, I must confess. Jess out, we find ourselves in
something of a conundrum in that, that fine fellow over
there. I would not say he is a fun
food. Yes.
Can you? I wonder actually I don't know
how you feel about First Impressions but I got a lovely
first impression from you last night when we checked in, but I
must say that I'm not getting the same from that fellow over
there. You know, anything about him or
his situation? Yeah.
How many legs does he have? Because my numbers are 14.
I got like ten gold pieces. 14 just with nobody just just in my
head. Look, I can provide you note,
but I can provide, you know, answer about that.
But I can tell you that he and I'm slipping into his voice.
He's a righty pretentious prick. And I am not particularly fond
of his company. Have you met him before?
Oh yes. He's I mean, he comes around
this Parts, pretty pretty frequently.
What does he do? Do you know anything about his
line of work? He was very dodgy about it.
I must say, I mean, he's traitor, he's he trades and on
the up-and-up, or on the down-low.
I mean, I believe he trades in certain artifacts or magic items
from time to time that, you know, certainly depending on
what he's carrying, might be totally Open up more in, might
be my beauty, little bit little bit on the darker bands, excited
the Spectrum, but I have no idea.
He maybe, you know, he might even be carrying anything at
this point, he might be retrieving something.
Blumpkin has since become very concerned with the sensation in
his foot and attempts to take off his shoe to shake it.
Out to see if there's anything in there.
Do I roll to see how well I do that?
No, you. Okay, and so he does take it off
and it turns out there's nothing in there and And I become very
confused and then, then put it back on.
Yeah, this is seem to apologize for my friend.
I'm sure that some kind of health code violation but we'll
move on. All right.
Well, I Bumpkin. Can you step into my office for
a second? Yeah.
This is the only room. I don't think it was already,
right? Just over it.
Okay. Just come over.
He office. Doesn't have any Walls by this
blumpkin. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, come with me. All right.
Yeah, of course pumpkin. I'm not quite sure that these
problems. Sure about it.
I know you aren't but I'm not quite sure that these people are
going to travel well together. And I very strongly feel that
unless we get some sort of muscle or, or some sort of
assistance. I'm not quite sure that we're
going to be able to make this work.
Where do you saying it? That you don't think that I'm
strong enough to fight the culture.
You want a car sink that you woke up?
You say I'm, you are there. I have one horn.
It's a unicorn. You told me that means one.
It that doesn't packed mean one, but I'm kidding.
But I'm just like that unitard. Yes.
Well have you heard you said that dutrey mentioned that there
were others perhaps looking for passing.
Oh yeah. She said that the guy with the
the know the little guy over there in the very wide is the
very interesting he was really wild.
He was like he was he was like a frigerator foot like tipped over
you know we have refrigerators in this University.
Yeah couple hundred years from now in an alternate universe.
Of Us - anything. He didn't look.
Just like that one day. They'll save the life of a man
called Indiana Jones. That's right, that does happen.
God, that movie exists. Okay, wait, okay.
I'm sorry. Yeah.
The little guy, the woman with the T&A Hands by the way we
still haven't gotten that t and I just want to say that like I
paid for it you remember how I said that I would pay for it and
we should get that teeth right? We have yes what's T?
But it's like beer but sadder oh BR is pretty sad that I've been
out of it. Anyways, yeah, she said that,
that little guy over there, the wide one, he that he will be
looking for looking for Superior passage, but he was making some
weird as it is lit. And he was looking at me with
his little surprise in the small as for how wide is frame is and
he was looking at his, not too cool.
I mean I speak with him. Yeah.
If you would you mind if I perhaps do the talking?
Yeah. That from now on.
It's not, we're just just let you in this specific cell.
Think yes, that sounds cool, right?
I think I have a rock in my shoe.
I'm going to take it off. I'll wait.
I just do that. Never mind.
There's no rock in my shoe. Pumpkin.
Did you check your other shoe? Only have the ones.
Oh, look at that. I found another shoe last night.
I forgot about that. Yeah, I'll check the other shoe
here. I'll do that.
You go talk to that number over there.
All right, you check your other shoe.
Do you know how to untie laces? I do.
Remember you take the rabbit and you know you put you pull him
from around the tree, right? And then you pull the string and
then the shoe just comes right? All right.
Cool. I think I could untie.
But will you tear? For, of course, I will.
Can I do it every morning? You're the best.
I'm so glad we met. I'm glad that we didn't add
volcano. Your place.
It was a strange place. He was a alright.
We could we can flesh out the details of how we met later but
I'm going to go do this whole shoe thing that I just run gonna
do. Hey hey hey I love you.
I love you too. Okay.
All right thanks up by All right.
So how many fucking legs do we think that guy has?
I don't even know. All right, screw it up.
Hi everybody. It's Eric.
Hey dude. That's actually me.
No, not that other guy. I just wanted to say, I've spent
the last three weeks with Katie doing stuff like this and it has
been one of the more transformative experiences of my
life and meeting hers. I can't imagine my life.
If I hadn't met Katie, and I'm moving to Atlanta.
I'm going to move to Atlanta if I can financially swing it, so
that we can start doing projects like this more often in more
developed projects. We started a business together,
we're both 50, 50 new owners of a business to create content for
all of you about ADHD, and whatever the hell.
So if you were to donate to patreon.com/scishow to Quest,
you would be directly helping change.
My life, frankly, so that would really just mean that the whole
world to us. So, thank you.
Anyways, now back to the show transition.
So helvetica goes over to the table where the refrigerant
rated gnome is. And she says, pardon me, I hate
to be a bother but my associate said that you might be in need
of some assistance, the the camera pans over to blumpkin and
the thing, the camera pans over the blocking and he is about
halfway through time tying his shoe.
But he forgets one of the steps and he seems kind of frustrated
but he's making he's making progress.
The Gnome The Gnome sort of looks at you and goes You let's
see which one one King of the Hill.
They said. Yep it was they all three of
them did and then one of them said right, wonderful and what
type of assistance might we offer?
travel wonderful traveling through the unified Forest, I
assume Yeah, good and I hate to ask this just straight off the
bat in fact and I shot because whom what's business between
friends. I what's your name?
My friend. Your name is knuckle nuts. can
we legally have a character named knuckle nuts in the sea
pod cast is a guy named blumpkin All right, well not come first,
that's printed on paper, your name was created.
Well knuckle nuts, I am helvetica and my associate over
there. With the shoe issue is blumpkin
my friend, might I ask you a favor.
I know it's a strange to approach you with a favor but
might I ask He won. Maybe do you see that very tall
poncy looking man over there? Yes, and our friend, the
bartender. Both of them find themselves in
need of Transport through the unified Forest.
But I must confess, I'm not much of a fighter, I'm more of a
conversation. However, if you will, and he
looks you up. Hey, I'm so I wonder if in
exchange for safe passage, I might ask your axe to coin a
phrase. No, no.
Is that something else? You might we could offer an
exchange to persuade you. No travel to not.
Two. Oh, I see you.
You only want to travel with us but not them.
Might I level with you, my friend.
Knuckle nuts. Level, my friend, Nicole nuts.
Did you just say knuckle nut, that's his name.
Okay, you missed it. My friend also matters,
sometimes in our lives, we all have pain and we have sorrow,
but if we are wise, sometimes you find One to lean on and I
think uniform that's might be that.
Knock on, that's not lean knuckle nuts.
Fall over. Um actually do you mind just
blumpkin can you can you come over here please blumpkin is
just about to get the last part of his heel back into the shoe
where he successfully found a small rock, that he decided to
keep and Lumbers back over and says, oh hey yeah, I've been
looking at, we used to going to tie my shoe right now.
I'm kidding. I promise I will tell you if she
would just a moment but this is our new friend knuckled.
Now Do we do when you meet someone from another culture we
are respectful. Remember.
Of course, he takes the part of his like clothes.
That would would be a skirt if you were wearing one, and very
surprisingly, delicately curtsies.
And says it's a pleasure to meet you sir.
I love this character more than any other deity character I've
ever played. Really knuckle nuts.
Look, so go on, Rex Lumpkin, and this gesture and goes.
Hmm. Yep.
Blumpkin if you would, I wonder, if you could talk to our friend
knuckle knots and perhaps persuade him to come along with
us. I'm as part of a group.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well that's dumb guys know our oh no.
It's all right. They blumpkin like sort of goes
up and in I just for a second. Yep, and looks it and looks at
knuckle nuts and looks at you and then forgets what he was
thinking about because I just did and he goes well, hey, not
go nuts. Can I cut?
Can I call you? Sure.
I cook, can I call you knock or nuts?
I don't like too many syllables in the, in the things that I
have to say. You want me to say, okay, no
coconuts. Well, hey, see, where we live
strapped for cash. We didn't really know, You're
going to do after like this morning.
In fact, I don't really even know if we had enough money to
pay for that room. We stayed in those night.
So I think we were really relying on this whole thing to,
like, pay for the Rook. Could you help a guy out there?
I don't really know. She does all the thinking and
stuff, but I would just really appreciate it.
If you would like, you know, let us a scorcher and red.
Hey, you could let you see, be some fat, some unicorns like
unicorn. Oh, you like mousey?
I like unicorns to, but the thing is, we'll see.
I've been, I've been hearing from the law around town from
posters and and just the things I've been overhearing that
there. Yeah.
They lack Madonna's. Early work.
What? And that's dangerous.
I've heard, I don't know. So occasionally, you got a fat,
some of them at least. That's what I've been told.
Also, who's bandana, knock on that not fight unicorn.
All right, well, what if I hear hear, I'm just going to tell you
this. Yeah, and Eileen really close to
knuckle nuts. Is what I perceived to be his
ear, but I'm so thrown off by his apparent wideness that I'm
starting to doubt his anatomy in general and I leaned forward and
go, I'll tell you what I won't fight.
A single unicorn this whole time.
No matter what. If you just agree to stick
through it with us and come on through the forest with these,
with the, these two people over there, which, you know, the, the
lady with the tea and the guy with the F-14 legs, by the way,
how many legs do you think that guy has my money's on 14?
I'll wager thanks. For it's only got four legs on
it. Well, I guess you judge brother,
pissed off us Jackass forgets for looks like a jackass.
Well, I think so, if you need means one and art means, I don't
know what that means. I just realized I don't.
But if he had four legs, well, if I guess if he had 14 legs,
they'd have to be real skinny to be hidden by that slender little
dressy looking thing. I bet I could see real well that
I had that thing on how about a wonder why he bought that.
What were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, I won't hurt any unicorns.
Or anyone else, if you come with me and and are all right,
apparently, large amount of legs between a small amount of
people. Thank you for your time.
He's been my opportunity to meet these three people and generally
both like, upset and offended. All three of them.
So, so, here's here's what. I'll tell you, you can You can
you you can generally discern from the three of them.
They're not gonna they're they're not going to travel like
together. Only one of them really like
they dislike each other to a quantity that if one of them
goes the other two is not going to, all right.
So what if, what if what if your choices to be joined by October
us, who is a high elf Ranger blue tree?
Who is a female human bards tender or Up on the outside.
Oh no, I'm fighter. This is Eric.
This isn't the mission. We're getting another player.
That was a job interview. That's what's happening.
Another player Chris is giving us another person to go with us.
Yeah, well, yeah, I know, but it's somebody going to play that
player. Is he going to be an empty?
See going to be an MP series that was that was yes.
Fuck. That wasn't even the fucking
thing. I know that wasn't the mission.
I was I was just wasting your time because my favorite thing
this is and guys, I'm just gonna pause this.
This is a, this is the ADHD experience because I knew if I I
gave you three options that you would never be able to decide.
Fuck you like a fiddle. Well alright alright well so I'm
thinking we promised we pick one which we should take a moment
and then we promise that we'll do it quickly enough that we can
come back and grab the other ones but they're all ultimately
going a similar path. They are all trying to go
through the the unite unified Forest.
I thought we are trying to get them to all Go together.
I thought that was the whole campaign.
No. But I thought those like the
start of it was like, we had to like, fucking get them to work
together. That's what I thought, too.
Yeah, yeah. No.
It was just, we just have to pick one guy.
Okay, well thing, Eric, who's the most fun character?
I like the legs guy? I don't know.
Well, the gnome is kind of. What is?
No? No, he's got bad.
He's got back. Oh yeah, that's right.
He's gonna fuck them. Likes the Unicorn.
I think the gnome I think we go with Uncle Monty is the best
name but then the bartender has really big tracks of transplant.
Yeah, but it's fine. Should I go with, who?
I think we should choose her who blumkin would want?
I don't. I feel like you have to do what
your character of want to do. Well, my character would want to
listen to you because he's gonna do what he's fucking doing.
Well, my characters wanted, he would ya.
And so I'm gonna write Lumpkin says, hey can I talk to you in
eight? Hey, listen to this.
Could I talk to you in my office real quick?
Of course you can pumpkin, I'm going to take it.
Can I use your office? Yes, I take us to like,
surprisingly specifically the Same spot that you took us to
earlier. All three of the people in the
bar are eyeing, you with deep suspicion.
I pretend to open a door and let you in first.
I like pretending we are and let you.
And first, do you want you and you walk in?
Yeah, thank you. And then We both sit over.
This is a table. The table is the office.
So we both sit down at the table, all right?
And Eileen Way Forward and for the first time tonight
successfully whisper in your ear, I think we should go with
the big tracts of lands, lady. Just I'm just saying they could
become useful. We needed, you know.
What's up? Cuz I don't know corn.
So dear, so you're not caught I've heard from flyers and other
things that they're like, Madonna's earlier work because
that was before the whole cone business and you can get a
better view of, this is the worst fucking stupidest thing.
I'm like, boobs, that's why I think we should go with her
because I really like her boobs. I do appreciate your honesty and
I salute your vulnerability in this moment in an in speaking
with me. Your sexual preferences.
However, I do sort of think that perhaps we should choose someone
who is peaceful and our friend knuckle nuts.
Has already indicated that he's not looking for a fight.
And I think the safest and most Surefire way to get through the
unified Force without causing issue.
Is to pick someone who clearly Harbors, no ill will to our
unicorn friends, even though they are a fan of Madonna's
earlier work, which honestly between you and I, what are they
thinking? Did they do they have the
Unicorn to have ears blumkin? Clearly had stopped paying
attention almost immediately until you said Madonna and which
point he snaps back to you and agrees.
Why like vigorously and says, well, I think Heavy.
Is that what? I whispered into earlier?
Because I wanted to not really sure what the guy over there,
but I think they have ears it. Okay.
Actually kind of hope they don't because I forgot to close the
door behind you and I will stand up very quickly and look at you
in the eyes and close the door knowing that there's no door
there. But just sort of trying to earn
your affection really by being committing to the bit.
And then I say, I sit back down and go.
All right now that we're alone. I'll do whatever you say.
Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm so scared all the time. I'm so scared him now.
Starting to think that we are actually alone in an actual
sealed room. I leaned over the table and grab
your hands and start to cry saying like I don't know.
I'm so big and everybody thinks that is what about all the time
but I'm so scared. This actress like gives you a
look at least, wait before you go.
How many legs do you have? Oh, man, he sort of sweeps.
He doesn't say anything, but as he sweeps his Coke, you see
that? It is certainly more than two.
Well, well the guy said for and I said 14 II My pumpkins Eyes
Full of Tears. He manages to shoot a knowing
glance at nup nup but not Aleppo.
Guess what was his name? Nothing that knuckle nuts and
and and goes and Winks but he doesn't actually wink.
He just blinks, but as like hard really hard?
I winking real life. Yeah, I know that's, that was my
inspiration. Thanks.
And then. Puts his hands back in pumpkin
Leviticus. I want you to know that ever
since the volcano, I've noticed, how, why do they say people and
brave and strong you are. And I am very, very proud of you
every day. So, if you want to take Lou
tree, we can take Lou tree. That's alright with me.
Do you want to take root tree or do you want to take the big
Square man? Well, I do like squares.
No, I think you're right. We can take the square, man.
Let me just let me just let me just.
Can I go over and see if I could like it?
Like a couple pieces of her hair?
No, something we talked about this.
Oh, that's right. That was though.
There was like yesterday, I'm sorry about that whole ordeal
with you. Oh wait.
That was her, wasn't it? Yes, it was.
I still have now that I think of it.
Well, why don't you give them back?
And we'll go speak with our known friend.
Okay. I walk over to the bar and take
out and I reach through my pack, my backpack and take out one
hair after realizing that I've dropped all the others.
Almost immediately after grabbing them.
But then save the one and placed it on the table and just laugh.
Left. And I don't know if I can play
God here, but it blows away immediately and some pretty
nice. The breeze of me walking away of
loaded with, right right? Well, Lumpkin, do you want to go
break the news to our friend or shall I?
Oh, knock knock. So, what was your name again,
knuckle? Knuckle, knuckle, knuckle.
Knuckle knuckle knots? No.
Haha. Alright.
Okay, I'll get it. All right, as we walk over but I
ultimately agree to go break the news in, as we walk over.
I'm clearly muttering knuckle have I never get further than
that. I'm also, I just want to make
very clear, certain helvetica, just walk straight through the
invisible door, like just straight.
I'm gonna surprise for a moment and then like very, very like
almost as if like looking at himself in a mirror goes sort of
thinks to himself. That's right.
It's not real. That's right.
This character is whispered more than I've ever whispered my
entire life and I think, you know, someone, Someone putting
the cows to you do, get up to, to go over and and talk to
knuckle nuts. Yeah.
Oh yes. Oh yes.
I go over all the dexterity. Saving throw.
All right. Okay, my shoes have come, you
never tied my shoes. Oh shit.
No, no, no. All right.
Wait wait, wait, no, no, no. All right, all right.
Do I have disadvantage on this? No, no.
I just just straight up and down.
Seven. Yep.
You one. You definitely you definitely
fall over God. Okay.
I won't give you any sort of permanent damage, but you're you
just sort of write on your face. So I fall over and as if I felt
no pain at all, get right back up immediately and try to
remember where I was in my Gates and And sort of strut, even more
confidently, to try to play it off.
And and right before I sit down or white before, I sit down in
front of nuts nuts, I look back at the spot at that.
I tripped angrily as if to sort of show to everybody else like,
hey, you guys see that? And then I sit down in front of
my got Nuttin. What the fuck is his name again?
No, no, I'm actually for, I knew it in the first place, knuckle.
Knuckle knots. All right, so I see in front of
Michael nuts. And say I fucking told you that
that mother. That's all right.
So do you win the better? Do I do?
Our know as always in front of and say hey man, I got a nice
sort of tap his leg gingerly and say I've got some good news we
decided to take you because I like the cut of your jib lets's.
So what do you say? Yes, let's go.
Oh, great, and I leaned in and say, I just want you to know
that. I remember what I told you about
a little, no unicorn hurting agreement and just out and
forget stuff. And I should remember to remind
people that I remember. So, I remembered and I promise
and I wink again, not actually winking just blinking.
The hard as I lean back you travel on foot from both Anna's,
it's not a long journey to the edge of the unit 5 unified
Forest. The path is straight forward and
easy to follow. And that is where we leave our
fearless adventurers. For episode 7 of Katie and
Eric's infinite Quest. We just want to thank you all so
much again for listening, we are so excited about these
characters. This started off as this really
silly one shot and somewhere along the line, it was I think
right around the time where Eric decided that blumpkin didn't
know how to tie your shoes. I got deeply emotionally
invested in these characters and soon.
World is kind of along for the ride of ADHD in the just a
reminder that if you can't wait to find out what happens to
helvetica and Lumpkin, the full recording will be available on
the patreon. It's like 3 hours long.
There's a ton of content, it's patreon.com backslash infinite
Quest. So thank you so much to Chris
for dming. Thank you all for listening, and
thank you so much to the bear head, bards of the Georgia
Renaissance Festival who are kind enough to let us use their
music for our episode. This week.
You can find them on Band camp at Bear head barks at band
camp.com and he's also follow them on Facebook because they're
all great. Thanks Murray.
As always, thank you so much.