Hi everybody, it's me Katie asaurus.
Yes. Hello, it's me.
Hey dude. And before we start this week's
episode of infinite Quest, we just want to make it explicitly
and abundantly and unequivocably, clear that we
stand in support of a person's bodily autonomy.
And what they choose to do with it and the overturning of Roe
v-- Wade. Aid is not only deeply
frustrating and disappointing. But the way in which it will
impact marginalized communities, and people in the disabled
Community, is frightening and scary and upsetting, but it's
also just upsetting for everybody.
Because this affects people and and stop, you know, and So, we
just wanted to say that we know that this has been a hard week
and this has been a long week and this has been a week in
which there are a lot of uncertainties and a lot of
unknowns and there is hope and there are ways of fighting back
against this. And so on the infinite Quest
website, we are going to put up a page that will have resources
and information and all of that good stuff for you.
To check out if you are in need of, you know, medical services,
that you can no longer access, and also just to help your
community and give back to your community.
Because one thing that we've learned at infinite Quest is
that we couldn't do this without our community and our community
is the reason why we're here and so community and supporting
Community, is really important to us.
So we just very awkwardly and imperfect Wanted to say that at
the beginning of this episode, but also I've had a really hard
week. I lost a friend who was very,
very dear to me a couple of days ago.
And I'm also now facing down some medical issues that I don't
really feel like talking about right now but it's not great and
so we are just going to Vibe. We just I just I just want to
spend half an hour hanging out with you and my friend Eric You
and Bailey because she's being honestly really good right now.
It's like suspicious, how could she think she is?
Oh, and so that's what this podcast is going to be.
So hanging out hanging out. So just if you would, we just
want to take a deep breath with you breathes with you for a
minute and give you some space to just be so that's what this
episode will be. Yeah.
Transition. Hello Eric.
Hi, how's it going? You know, it goes It goes.
Yeah, I was just thinking I was trying to do some to some dishes
and what the some chores yesterday and I was like, oh
I'll listen to a thing and every piece of media but I generally
consume concerns Roe, v-- Wade as it like should very
understandable, but I was like, it would be nice to have some
place. So I'm glad we're.
Hopefully you did listen to our doing your dishes or on To work.
Maybe I know I just mentioned it now but I can't help it.
Just my whole brain. It's just, it's strange to make
content right now really is. Yeah, I keep, you know, I was
taking a break from Tick-Tock before all this and I keep being
like, what is the tick tock that you make, you know, like what
how do you how do you come back? And I realize like, you know,
and again like I don't want to keep talking about it but it's
like it's all that's on my fucking minds.
But yes, I'm gonna pet Bailey because she looks really sad and
pathetic and I'm setting the way everything at least like on
Twitter and stuff is I can either only like talk about it
and go in full Fury rant mode or completely like not and just
build houses in The Sims. Yeah.
So with that being said, Katie, would you rather would you
rather only be able to talk in like a full-on?
Yelling voice. Okay, or only be able to walk
while wildly flailing her arms about I mean, I have dystonia so
before it was under control, I couldn't eat super milkshakes in
public because sometimes I would just fling them across the room.
So I would say that one because I've already done it and it's
really not as bad as you think it is.
Like it's like a little Annoying.
I did throw soup on the president of my college.
That's a true story. Yeah, I did that.
I accidentally threw at a banquet.
Honoring him. I threw soup on him, is very
embarrassed. It was not very much soup.
Like it was, it was, it was a little bit of soup, and it was
it hot Super Macho? It was hot, soup is like a, it
was like a tomato situation and I just I like, literally like
tick And I like, I was had a spoon and I just flung it behind
me, like, over my shoulder and he was sitting like, right
behind me. Do you think that has anything
to do with why you find soup? So sad?
No, I think soup is sad because of be.
Also, if you're new to infinite Quest, you should know that.
I find soup devastatingly sad. Like I've seen you cry just like
At The Mention. Yeah, so handsome tight like
it's canned soup. Can soup is deeply.
Sad to me. No, not just like, she sure
seemed like so it's like a fancy restaurant.
Soup is fine. Like, I was like, I will even
get this like, soup, you know, because it's like, oh my God,
like, very good soup. Right?
Good suit. But can see what I find.
Can't see tweet, Emotionally devastating from from like from,
I mean, I can see is, like, from an aesthetic perspective, you
know, it evokes images of like, you know, you're down on your
luck and your, you know, sitting in, you know, that the power
company just shut off your whatever.
So you have to eat like cold can suit their whatever which, you
know, fought but like, can't see what a resource dude.
And I've survived on canned soup for like the hard for the hotel
in the heart of times. You were like, hey, it's really
Found in the world right now and you've had a really sad week.
So let's talk about the thing. The, the saddest song.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to Vivid picture of why canned soup
is so sad and then just it'll be fine.
I mean I get it I get what you mean is I don't know.
It's like it's like a it's like a Vibe thing.
I really good memories with soup.
I remember when I was, it was one of my first favorite foods
when I was growing up was Campbell's.
Chicken noodle soup is one of my favorite like things.
I loved it so much and Oh my God, I just unlocked a memory.
But growing up, my brother was a huge Sports guy and we had like
a basketball hoop in our front yard and our neighbor.
Terry was also a basketball guy. And so, my brother would spend
like every afternoon and all weekend shooting Hoops with
Terry in the front yard and you know, I was the younger brother
and I want to like, you know, hang, you know, and so I would
like ride my bike up and down the street and like sit and hang
out. And I remember when whenever one
of them was about to make, Like a shot like a HUD difficult
shot. The other person would chant
chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup, my brother hated
chicken noodle soup. And so, we would do that to
distract him, but I love chicken noodle soup.
So I never got it was like late. It's like, guys, you're
basically, like banana split ice cream.
Like it's a good thing. You're chaining a good thing to
distract it. A person.
I don't get it. I missed here.
He's an actor now. I think he was in a couple 8024
movies, really? Yeah, I think so.
He was a really tall super fucking smart like sneaky smart,
you know, like he wasn't just out there blasting.
Equations and stuff. And he was also nice to me, when
I was a kid, like, he was like, 18 when I was like 12 teenagers
who are nice to kids. I like, like the bus people
really. This is like, I just, I remember
like, all of them, you know, because I did a lot of Community
Theaters theater stuff. I just remember, I remember like
the cool older kids, who would be nice to the younger kids and
like those people like still like I'm like, I still remember
all of their names like a remember.
Like when they were nice to me and like what they were nice to
me about like Oh my God. It's like it has such an impact
on kids. Oh yeah.
He like and people that talk to you, you know, not just nice but
they talk to you just like you're a person.
Yeah, you know. Yeah.
Because I think at every age, you know, a person when they're,
you know, when your kid at some point, you start realizing that
people talk to you like a kid and you're like, oh, you know,
people are talking the same way they talk to other people and so
when they do, it's like the most refreshing thing ever.
He was the first person I think I ever like talked About like my
mental health with because I think yeah because he had mental
health issues. He had I know what's going on
with him now. But at the time he was going
through some depression and I had moved at the time I moved
from Connecticut. This was in Connecticut, moved
from Connecticut to Michigan and then we would like come back and
visit for holidays and whatever because my family's lived here.
Anyways, I saw for the first time in like a year, I was still
like 12 and he was probably 18, just graduating high school and
maybe a little And I was riding around my old neighborhood.
You know, while this tall chick from six months ago, you know,
six months is a long time when you're 12 and it's a long time
now and there was Terry just shooting hoops and I was like oh
dude like all right. So I wrote up and I'm like,
parked my bike. I'll cool.
It did a little skid turn, you know, it was good.
I liked that was what I imagined was he was asking, was I
remembered every, I remember the day, I learn how to do those
little game changer, but I start talking to Charlie Terry dude,
how's it going? And he was like, you know,
honestly, I've been really depressed and I was like, really
what's what's up? And he talked about his
depression and how he feels lonely and how he's he never, if
he has a hard time feeling close to people and I was like, man
you know me too. I didn't know that.
That was like a thing that you could just talk about.
That was like me to, I, you know, I'm meeting new people in
this new place every, but it's really hard for me to feel like
open to them. And, and he just was like, Wow.
Really. You know, he really liked
received it like this this adults while he was 18 but you
know yeah this 12 year old kid. I still remember like just what
a nice thing to do. Like one of a somebody my twitch
stream is a camp counselor at a camp that has a lot of trans
kids. I don't know if it's
specifically for non-cis kids but I know there's a lot of them
and I like teared up on stream because I was just like thanking
them for being that cool. Yeah older person when you're a
kid because like one cool older person who like, Sees you and
validates, you just can do so much.
I mean, they've literally studied it.
Yeah. Like they've literally studied
that in the specially with like trans kids and just across the
board, like, lgbtq kids. It's like if you have won the
support of person in your life, the like rate of like suicide,
self-harm, like that kind of stuff drops by like half.
And it's like, but it's like incremental, if you have to
support of people in your life, it's like even less than that if
you have three or four or five and it's like you know something
like if you surround yourself with like a dozen support of
people like you are safe and you are like okay and that just like
I think about that a lot especially with everything
that's going on is just like how Easy.
It is to be kind and compassionate and like I don't
think people know how like impactful small things like that
are you know it's like talk to the kid down the street for like
5 minutes about depression or whatever like that's like like
you remember that you remember that?
20 years later I guess. 15 years later about it.
Mash it up but you don't even like that.
But you remember that. It's like I wonder if he does,
you know, I want like I I wonder about that a lot is like just to
yeah. Kindness like do people remember
the kindnesses? You know what I mean?
The kindness is that they show other people.
Yeah. Because it's just like, you
know, like for for you it's like oh that's the first person
somebody taught me about, you know, they're coming out story
or like you know, whatever the thing is that they're talking to
you about but for them it's like it could just be like Tuesday,
you know, so that like that like strange JH thing that happens
when you're just like, oh I'm like making a difference but I
was just making a difference by like existing which is like I
think it's one of the reasons why I take This podcast of
seriously is because like we just exist, you know like like I
think like we try to be supportive and we try to, you
know talk to her community interact with our community that
kind of thing. But there's a lot of people,
there's a lot. There's a lot of people and so
sometimes it's hard to like answer every email or you know,
respond every message or whatever but like sometimes, I'm
just happy that I can just Push record and be like my friend
died and I'm probably have to have surgery and Roe v--, Wade,
sucks. And you know, on and on and on,
and it's just like, but that's okay, like, it's okay to talk
about those things. And I feel like that's like I do
I feel like we're really lucky that we have just like such a
kind and accepting Community. Yeah, absolutely.
It's fine. I think I think it's much easier
to remember the kindnesses that are done to you than it is to
remember. The kindness is that you've done
to other people before other people.
Yeah. And I think That is what I think
it's cut. That's pretty nuanced.
There's a lot, there's a lot to it's very Illuminating because
one, it shows that being kindness is very easy to give
away. It's very easy to do small
kindnesses and I don't mean like big active ones, you know?
Like, I don't know. You know, surprising Somebody by
renovating our house or something.
I mean, look at it. You Mercury.
Start us exactly. But You know, being friendly to
the grocer. Yeah.
Oh, and remembering that there from, you know, wherever
Michigan and being like, Oh, you mean like you do, every time you
go to the grocery at a grocery store, who's a U of M fan and I
grew up in East Lansing, where you were Michigan state is, and
that like Rivals. So we like do a little quip
every time but like it's a little thing but it brightens my
day every time. But I think it goes to show how
easy it is to give away the small kindnesses to just be kind
and also how much they Can do like it's it's very small on the
part of the giver, but on the receiver can be life-changing.
Yeah. As it often is, which I think is
good because it's always good when you can do a lot of good
for, not very much effort. That's great, but I think it can
also make us forget how good we actually are, like, the goodness
inside of us. Yeah.
Because it can seem so ignore insignificant, you know, on days
when I'm down on myself, you know, I feel like I'm a terrible
person or something. I don't remember, you know,
Remembering the the gas station attendants name.
And, you know, ask him about his brother.
I don't remember, you know, I don't think about those sorts of
things because it's just so easy.
When I think remembering those small kindnesses that you give
on to someone else or other people, it can be really good to
rely on those and fall back on those.
And remember those in moments when you feel really down on
yourself because you don't have to like save the entire world to
be a good person, you know, just being generally.
Just It's nice to people is can really go a long way.
That's really weird thing happened to me.
The last time I talked about this as I was, I was actually
talking about it on Twitter because there was like some TT
RPG Community drama that went down and it was very boring
drama but basically some shitty people got called out for being
shitty and that was the whole story.
But I made a post and I was like, it's so easy to be kind.
And somebody will actually a lot of people push back they're
like, no, it's not. It's really hard to be kind
takes extra spoons and I was like, yeah, that's the point,
man. Like, I like, I can't stop
thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about
those replies and they've been living in my head for a while
because like, I always say kindness is easy.
But what I think I actually mean is like Kindness is like a
practice, you know, like kindness is like an active
choice and it's like the kind of thing where I am not naturally
an empathetic person. Like I'm not like I seem like I
am but like, one of my really toxic traits is that a lot of
times, my first instinct is to take the most cynical choice or
like the selfish choice or just frankly, like the mean,
Reactionary choice because like, frankly that's how I was raised.
Ha ha, this isn't after therapy episode, I forgot.
Oh sure. I'm sorry, we try to do that,
but that's what it's true is like, I was not raised in a
household were like empathy was taught.
It was like, if you were being nice to somebody it was because,
you know, you were going to get something out of it or like
whatever. Like it was never just be kind,
you know, is like be kind because otherwise you're going
to burn. Burn in hell.
Like there's always like a asterisk tonic and so when I
started being old enough to recognize the impact that
unkindness had, like whether it was something I say small, but I
mean like not societally damaging.
You know, things like being a dick to the waiter.
Like why like, why why do you need to be routed the waiter
like, you know, and then I started looking at those
situations and going, like, okay, well, like this is only
one person, you know, it's like what's one person but like that,
massively impacts the rest of their day.
You know, if you scream at somebody because the coupon
you're trying to use expired six months ago, and they can't honor
it, like, who are you yelling at and why?
You know, and that was when I started realizing that like,
it's an active Choice, it is an active Choice.
It is a, it is, it is always an active choice and like, yes,
Admittedly sometimes. I still default to like this in
a cool choice or the mean choice or I'll write a you know,
17-page dissertation about how people are wrong about
microphones because I did that the other day because I was just
fucking done, you know, like stuff like that.
But it's like you have to practice, you have to practice
empathy, you have to practice not being cynical, you have to
wake up and say, you know, if I have three Moon's.
It is okay. If I spend one of those on being
kind, you know, like that kind of stuff and if you don't have a
spoon finding ways to still Interact with the world that
isn't causing active harm because I think that's something
that is often overlooked is as we talked a lot about neuro
divergency and like, as an explanation.
But to me it's not an excuse for unkindness and like, even in
those moments where maybe you're impatient or emotionally,
disregulated, or having trouble communicating, or whatever, like
there's still an opportunity to even just take a step back or
take a break and say, hey, I don't have this Boone's right
now so like let's Have this conversation again when I can
exercise a little bit more kindness and compassion and
that's something that I've really had to work on because I
power through so often, you know like I just keep working and
working and working and I burn myself out and then I'm less
likely to be kind and I'm less likely to be generous in the way
that I want to be. And so sort of like bringing
myself back to that sort of like Center of like, okay, I'm going
to wake up everyday and choose empathy.
I'm going to wake up every day and shoes.
Kindness and compassion like I'm tired a lot, but I would rather
be a little bit more tired and know that at the end of the day,
I did everything. I could not to hurt people but I
don't know. I really hung up on people
telling me that, it's like, there's like a like a spoon cost
to kindness because I agree but I guess I like, I don't know, I
don't disagree, but I don't agree, but I don't disagree.
And so I'm like, I never know what to say to that argument
because I just I think kindness is so so important.
Especially right now. Especially now I have no fucking
idea where I was going with that.
I just, I can't stop thinking about, I can't stop thinking
about people being like, yeah, but sometimes I'm tired.
I'm like, we're all fucking tired, we're all fucking
exhausted just be Anyway, I don't care.
Yeah, I agree. I think I think the goal is I
think kindness costs a different amount of spoons, two different
people type of whoa or something, I don't know, you
know what I mean? Yeah, no, I swear just like
yeah, that's because it's like, if I spend Two spoons being nice
but I spend one spoon screaming at somebody.
It's a different type of spoon. Yes, yeah, I can seriously.
Yeah, like I think, you know, types of students are quantity
of spoons. I think, for one for me, I
generally find and this was, you know, I don't this isn't to
venerate myself this, but I find kindness is generally costs less
spoons to me than unkindness. You know, like let's say the
server at a restaurant like Forgets a thing or puts in the
wrong, whatever. It's a lot easier.
I think at least for me to be like, oh yeah, don't worry about
a thing, it's fun. Then to be like, how dare you
know like that. That cost Sportsman's me but I
don't want to necessarily claim that that's the case for
everybody because I'm not everybody.
Yeah. So I think, you know, the goal
is to to, to practice enough to get to the point where One those
kindnesses don't cost more spoons than unkindness and to
have your default fuel tank. Empty I have no spoons Behavior,
be at least harmless, you know, because you know, I'm not saying
every time I go to the grocery store I'm like this Ray of
fucking Sunshine blowing. Moonbeams of everybody's ass.
You know, most of the time. I'm it's I usually go, you know,
the store like after work so I'm like, just yeah.
This is Aunt. And in those moments, I just try
to not be actively that like, do the bare minimum, just like yep.
Great. How do you have any taste?
Good has rats good. Great thanks.
Alright. Yeah, thank you very much, you
know, just that or maybe or even less than that.
Just literally no words, you know?
But I think a lot of times when people run out of spoons, and
I've certainly been guilty of this myself, we're when we run
out of spoons, we default to negative behavior because we're
like frustrated that Out of spoons.
Yeah, I do that. I'm super guilty of that, which
is sort of ironic because I think being, I don't say,
harmful Behavior, but you know, the opposite of kind Behavior.
I mean, I think that cost spoons to, I mean, you know, I bet.
But I think it also. Now I'm starting to think about
what you were saying about like types of spoons, because if I'm
completely out of spoons and then all of a sudden in the line
at the bank, something happens in all of a sudden, I have to do
something. Choir spoons that I don't have
the anger that I would feel about that if I were to like,
freak out or something, which hopefully it wouldn't, but if I
were to, that's still costs something, you know, it's like
it's like dark spoons, you know, like negative energy, spoons,
were the spoons that come up when you're frustrated about not
having the good kind of spoons. Yeah, I think for me it's a
combination of like I get that a lot like I very like literally
within like the past year have started realizing that a lot of
the Times where I will experience, like very
heightened. Emotions is straight up like
meltdown. It's like I'm at the end of my
rope. I am out of spoons.
I am in pain, I'm in tired or whatever.
And then all of a sudden, I'm like weeping and traffic because
like I'm going to be one minute late because there was like a
long red light, you know what I mean?
It's just like, I just like hit that limit.
But one of the things that I realized a while ago, is that I
still think Kind Behavior costs you more spoons in the long run
because you have to deal with the effects of the unkindness.
Whether that be, you know, you were like shitty to a friend or
you know shitty to your partner. Whoever will then you still have
to have that conversation and you need to make it, right.
And you need to apologize and you need to like, you know,
mitigate the damage that you did.
But then that is a spoon, and that's a conversation and that's
emotional labor and that kind of thing or Or maybe it is just
somebody at the bike, you know. Maybe it is the teller who
you're never going to go back to that Branch again because you
made such a big scene and you're never going to see it, but then
you still need to sit with that and you still need to sit with
that feeling of like, wow. Like was that the was that the
best that I could have done right?
Then, you know, and I think that the sort of like, dark spoon, I
like this, I like dark spoons, but I think like that the dark
spoon element of like that spoon is going to come back to haunt
you like you are. Definitely spending a spoon.
You know what, you know what I mean?
Yeah. Yeah.
Like I think that's one of the reasons why I go above and
beyond with like especially when I'm really frustrated and it's
because I deal with such like rejection sensitivity that like
and just honestly, just like a guilty conscience and so like,
you know, if I'm like kind of a little bit off-putting or
something, I'll like spend the next six months dwelling on that
like, oh my God. I said that to that birthing
that was so awkward and like you know whatever.
And so I'd rather just know that I do my absolute fucking
damnedest to always be kind no matter what.
Because then at least at the end of the day I can be like yeah.
It didn't come out, right? Yeah, they took it weird or
whatever but like I know that I was trying to be kind and that's
been really useful for me. Yeah, absolutely.
I think the cost compounds. I think the cost of those dark
stains like always compounds. You know, whether it's, I can't
go back to that place anymore or the guilty feeling.
Or I mean, I remember when I was a teenager early teenager, my
friends and I had a bit of like a I'm sorry.
I just threw my trash in the garbage.
It's really, it's really loud. I was proud of myself for just
putting in the garbage and not waiting.
And then I was like, oh shit were recording and it wasn't a
garbage like pilot like earlier today.
It was Teaming Tower of how trash it's a knot and now you
got to hear that satisfying swish ready.
Yeah, but my friends and I had a bit of like, you know a little
klepto phase would like steal candy bars from CVS and stuff,
you know, whatever. But I remember one time, the
closest I ever got. I got to getting caught.
Was, it was like a one of those chain head shops or ahead.
Like all the default hippie stuff is like probably 2009 or
something, but I stole this little hemp wallet.
I did like none of this stuff I needed it was just we were kids
and I put it on the front of my pants and I'm on my way out the
guy at the place I'd like, hey did you just stick something
down your pants and I like talked my way out of it and like
it's like no to all my son whatever and I left.
So I got the wallet but like to this day I don't think a store
Still there. But the last time it was, when I
like visited Michigan, when I saw the store, I got a knot in
my stomach. Okay, I can't go in there
anymore and the cost of, that was more than the price of the
fucking wallet, you know? And who knows if I had bought
the wallet, maybe I would have had a Charming conversation with
the person behind the counter whatever.
But doing that - sang always, always costs more in the long
run. That's what I think every time I
see somebody Making a scene about something minor.
Well, the first thing I think is I hope they're okay.
Yeah, I think like I'm like I hope one of those public
meltdowns and stuff that you see is like, oh, that person is not
okay. Like that's not like the, I
think there's some like entitlement and stuff but a lot
of times I feel like we watch those like public freak-outs and
I'm like, oh, that is a person who is Struggling with something
exact. I mean, that's how yeah, that's
in that time. That's how I feel whenever I get
like, a negative comment on a video is I don't, I never care
what they actually say. You know, if you're like, your
hair looks dumb or whatever, I don't care, but what keeps me up
is like, you know what happened to that person?
Yeah. Are they okay?
Like is their home life? Alright, is something happening.
Like, I genuinely lose sleep over it.
I think just like what would compel a person to just be
putting that out there? Yeah, I think generally in the
long run. Being kind always Costless
spoons and if it doesn't then it will with practice.
Yeah. And I like the way you use
practiced earlier because I used to think of practice as a means
to a goal, like you practice something in order to be able to
do it without having to practice anymore.
But I think in this context practice is an infinite thing,
it's not the practice is the goal is when you're practicing
doing something you're just doing it, you make a practice of
it, not practicing because one day, all the sudden all of this
will be Siena. Yeah.
Well and I also think practice involves Like ongoing education.
Like that's that's another thing too is like and and that part
can be harder because a lot of times that can be really
uncomfortable, you know that can be like, you know, because
that's you know, it's less about like unpacking your attitudes
towards kindness and more like unpacking your you know like
implicitly like complicit - and like white supremacy or you
know, whatever and it's like I can think of times were like not
on. Purpose.
But like I've said something racist or I've said used a term.
That was like, wow like we don't use that term anymore.
You know like that kind of thing and it was like well because I
didn't educate myself. Like I wasn't actively trying to
practice kindness in those ways and so like the more that like
the work has been done. I'm like oh like that's why you
know like referring to like Romani people in that way is
like really offensive and hurtful and it's like okay like
I work at the Renaissance Festival.
Like let's make This change, you know, like that kind of thing,
you know. But like there's been a lot of
those moments where I look back and I go.
Wow, like I wasn't trying to. I wasn't I wasn't actively like
thinking that this thing was like, racist or harmful or toxic
or whatever, but it was. And so that person that I
interacted with, like they now carry that, and they have that
like memory of that time, that, that like random person was
shitty, you know, and it's just like, and I feel bad about
those, you know, and it's like, you can't do.
Anything about it. Like I think you just have to
sort of like, be like, yes, I am part of the problem.
And so like it is my responsibility to do that work.
But that's why I think like, practice isn't like practice
doesn't make perfect practice just makes simpler and easier
and I think it Fosters understanding and a need for
education and a need for like ongoing growth and like, that's
the hard work, I think, you know, because it's really easy
to be like I'm not racist. It's like well you are you are
probably like you are but like really like I'm packing that but
even you know, just thinking about like my own ableism and my
own, you know, just like internalized, like misogyny and
stuff too. Like all of that is is Fester's
with unkindness, and it festers and like this, very like - place
and so it's easy to want to ignore it.
It's easy to not want to work on it.
It's easy to go like, oh no, I Not like that.
I'm a perfect Magic Rainbow person, you know.
And it's like nah, like you got to do the work, you got to do
the work and you got to want to do it, where can you go to mean
the work? Because that's how change
happens. Yeah, and I think like being
nice to people is not just smiling at them.
At the grocery store, it is really Thinking about how you
like interact with the world as a whole and doing your goddamn
best to make sure that you don't hurt anybody while you're doing
it. Yeah, I think the pursuit of
self actualization and examining our own biases and the language
that we use in our behaviors for me.
It often helps Whenever practicing anything to have some
sort of set goal in mind. I mean I know earlier I said you
know this is practice not necessarily for go but sadly the
North Star and I think examining our own biases and examining our
own prejudices and Andre you know, okay judges and Privileges
and you know, cleaning house with our language, making sure
we're not we don't have any, you know, Antiquated terms we're
using I think all of that. At the end of the day Is for the
purposes of seeking the most meaningful, most effective and
most numerous ways of being kind to other people.
Yeah. I think if you're trying to do
that, as much as you can, as often as you can, I think you'll
be pretty. Okay.
It's okay to mess up. It's okay.
You know, like, and I think that's That's also really hard
to like look at the times when you fucked up, but I think being
able to say, hey, I did fuck up, right?
I could have handled this better.
I could have handled this differently or whatever and
acknowledging that. And instead of trying to like
Weasel your way out of it or, you know, like shift the blame
or whatever. Just be like, hey I did do that
because I wasn't informed, I wasn't as educated.
This was a bad take, but I've listened and I've learned, you
know, and I'm sorry like I think that's a really powerful.
Thing that you can just give to your community, is the ability
to learn and grow and listen, and do better, you know, yeah.
I don't know. Yeah.
Hey, we'll hey, you want to go? You want to go take this, dog on
a little Robbie Robbie, you know, get some new smells out
there. Yeah, it just rained.
We should we should we do the fade out now.
And then you can come back for the announcements or should we
just I just keep talking. I feel like I bit it.
I have like three announcements. Those go for it dude.
Okay. Hello.
If you're still here, I don't know if Eric put a break-in or
not. I'm going to assume decided that
he did not. So thanks for keeping listening
I might do like a fake out fade out where I like how you think I
feel well Cynthia is think so okay, a couple orders of
business. Number one we have patreon.
Is patreon.com slash infinite Quest.
We kind of got away from letting people know about it because we
just like finish the episode and be like Oh God, we're so behind
but we just wanted to let you know that if you are interested
in supporting our mission of advocacy and education, the
patreon exist, it is how we pay our bills.
And so even, you know, a buck a month, really goes a long way to
keeping infinite Quest up and running secondarily you're like,
hey, okay, I don't have a book a month, I don't got that.
I'm not flush with cash, like like the Kings, I don't know.
What I was going with that. That's okay, friends, because
it's once again, time, Name for our annual review, Dr. That's
the thing just made out of thing right now.
Here we go. So I just made it up.
So here's what you're going to do.
If you like infinite Quest and you're like, boy, howdy this
show is so good. Go over to iTunes, or I think
Spotify has a now to or wherever you have your podcast of choice
and give us a five star review. I mean you don't have to give us
a five star review. You could give us a one star
review if you're mean but if you like our Pockets reviews
actually really helped us a lot. They help determine our place in
the algorithm when people are like searching different
podcast. They help like different like
advertisers and stuff. We're looking at guests and they
look up. Who are these people?
Yeah like oh God, are they real podcast?
A lot of that has to do with just the sheer number of reviews
that we got? And so we'd really appreciate
it. It takes like 30 seconds, just
go is good podcast, smiley face. You can see more if you want but
that's it. Eric is laughing at me because
I'm So awkward about asking for help from people.
I'm laughing because I did the same thing earlier.
Didn't you return my twitch stream?
I was like, I was never mind. I had a very never mind.
I'm doing it now. Look at that.
I'm doing it now, and then third, and lastly, we just want
to let you know. We are going to be at gencon is
coming up. We are going to be doing several
panels some together, some not together.
So it will be one of the first times that Eric, and I are
separated on a panel. Yeah, I'm so scared.
It's fine. We'll be great.
But we're going to be doing the Tic Tac D&D panel.
I'm going to be doing a couple things with like morning ritual
and possibly running a game question.
Mark, that's still kind of up in the air.
They're also be the return of tacitus and basket.
I've heard rumor. I've D&D show with a bunch of
cool folks. Yeah, the return of basket.
Praise basket basket. And so yeah so we got a lot of
stuff going on but we just wanted to let you know kind of
about those three things because one of them you can do right now
the other two. You can think about, but I'm not
going to tell you which ones it's the review to see the
review right now, it's the review Dr. Good good episode.
Everybody was so good. I was like, Terry, Gross.
Really got about about edible. All right, everybody think
seriously, thank you so much for being here, please.
Take some time to just take care of yourself, drink, some water,
drink, some water, take a bubble bath, whatever your thing is,
build houses in The Sims. Yeah.
Whatever you got to do and just because I feel like I need this.
Under remember that, this is a marathon, this is not a Sprint,
it is really easy to throw, all your passion and your ire and
your anger and your resentment at the first like four days and
then get tired. So please remember that.
It is okay to take breaks, it is okay to refresh yourself, you
cannot pour from an empty cup and so as we continue the fight
for justice and as we continue the fight for frankly, bodily
autonomy, I'm fucking human rights except fucking human
rights. Please just remember that.
None of us are going to do it alone but together we can
accomplish a great deal. So from all of us here at
infinite Quest, please stay safe, please stay healthy.
Remember, drink some water, take your meds, eat a snack.
Pet your dog be kind to yourself?
Do a little dance behind others. Make a little off there and
remember that we love you. Those are different.
Looks