Hey everybody. It's it's that time again, it's
time for another episode of ADHD.
And I'm so excited because this is the episode that has the big
reveal and we've been talking about it for so long.
And now you're finally going to get to hear it.
And I'm just, I'm really excited for you.
So just know going in that this episode finally, a lot of stuff
is going to make sense. If you've heard us talking about
it on the podcast, or on any of our lives.
So, a Buckle in, because, oh, man, I'm so I'm so excited for
y'all. All before we begin I've got a
couple of announcements first if you're sitting there a little
bit confused because it is in fact, not Thursday and you're
getting a new episode of infinite Quest.
We honestly have all of you to think because of your enthusiasm
and your support and your continued generosity.
We find ourselves in the position of being able to make
more infinite Quest content. Not only are we going to be able
to drop more podcast content outside of our normal,
educational, Thursday stuff. We are also going to be
expanding to YouTube and twitch again.
We cannot stress this enough. This is because of all of you we
have been just absolutely humbled and Blown Away by the
support that we have found for infinite Quest.
And it quite honestly means the world to us that you support us
in the way that you do every week.
If you're interested in joining the infinite Quest support
network, you can do that by visiting patreon.com infinite
quest for more information. I've also got one more D&D
related announcement. Before we begin.
Saturday March 27th at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time, blumpkin,
helvetica, and a very special guests are going to be competing
in the mail, a ball March Madness Tournament.
If you're not familiar with my label think of it as like a sort
of cross between Dungeons and Dragons and Thunderdome and
dodgeball it was created and conceived of by D and D cor so
over on Tick Tock and we'll be streaming that live on his
twitch channel. It's twitch.tv slash Lark
Network on Saturday March 27th at O'clock p.m.
Eastern Standard Time, so check it out.
Now to ease you back into the world of ADHD and D when you
last met blumpkin and helvetica they had just gotten done
fighting some Vine blights and they find themselves on their
way to the Klein held mountains in order to discover a bit more
about what's going on in the world of Haven Loft.
Also Tony stomped the fuck out of a couple of gnomes so
transition I'm here your abilities right down Channel
Divinity. Okay, turn Undead.
And this, this is the, these are like subclasses of Channel
Divinity. Okay.
Turn Undead, she's okay and Radiance of the Dawn.
Okay. Which does is a, like, once per
day, sort of attack thing that will get into if you want to use
it, okay? And then add, what's your cotton
modifier? One.
Okay, so add 6 to your HP tone. Eric you get under your
abilities right down Reckless attack and danger sense.
And what's your Constitution modifier?
My Constitution under is plus 3. Okay?
So add 10 to your max HP Jesus. Whoa!
And under levels. You're going to change that
number to a to hey, We're level I'm adding 12 Twin xhp 10 to
your bangs head, all right? And also I'm you've got the
abilities Reckless attack and danger sense.
Thank you. I'm reckless attack to singing
up Reckless attack. You can choose to do when you
make an attack, it gives you an advantage on the attack.
But any attacks for the next round that are against you will
also have Advantage God. So damn dangerous sense was the
second one. Yep.
And that will be about saving throws which I'll let you know
if you Get it. Um, and you're specifically KT,
La, many turn. Undead allows you to like
present your holes. Holy expense symbol and speak of
prayer. Censoring the undead each and
dead. The concealer here e within 35.
Yeah. Katie next time we do this.
Can you make sure to buy pencils that are more prone to Breaking?
Yeah, did you make sure to do that?
Now I personally I really like pencils that break all the time.
I feel like An element of danger you like broken things.
Yes. Well, it's why I'm burning each
other and it was like, it was like I'm so sorry.
Imagine if it was a t-ball T right in between us, we both saw
what happened was is that we like we both hit the tee at the
same exact on opposite parts. So nothing happened at eat it.
So it's still sitting there thinking on the T, that's the
world holds its breath. It's here at this at this
perfectly about I was like a very mean junk that I made it
responds now, I feel bad. I'm sorry, you're really great.
It's it's it's uh, it's over KT. This is the last one.
Basically, turn less, hang sesh turn, turn into it for the
referee turning dead. At this point.
It only makes like an advanced levels.
It will kill on Dad at this point.
It just makes them run away from you.
Um, oh so when you say turn on dead, you mean like in like,
like turn around like not like haha you Or zombie now?
No, you're Claire. You're not a necromancer.
Come on, disappointing, Claire. And then in the radiance of the
Dawn, you can, as an action, present your holy symbol and
dispel magical Darkness. Additionally, each hostile
creature within 30 feet of, you must make a constitution.
Saving throw the creature that takes rainy day.
Take a creature, takes reading damage equal to 2 D 10.
Plus your Claire's level in a failed, saving throw.
And half as much damage to a successful one.
Okay. Yeah.
That one's a pretty good one. Also, I want you to know that, I
don't know why, but in my head I was like there's no other holy
symbol except for the staff from Indiana Jones and that is.
So solidly in my head that like slowly helvetica is turning into
marryin, like in my mind like she's got like the necklace and
it's when she raised Catholic Katie, I was just at that.
The staff of raw is now. Yeah, it's like that.
It's like that symbol that is like but in my mind like for
helvetica it is it is Staff of rock from Indiana Jones.
I think that is with, like, the little like the guy in.
Yeah, that is Rock Solid compartmentalization am top-tier
so so congratulations on your your level up and with that it
is it that fight happened as evening turned to night and
Tony's like it's not that far away but we should we should
probably pitch. Pitch camp for now so we'll head
will head. Well then we'll head out
tomorrow morning as long as Bumpkin lies pulls out his
bedroll and wife's asleep. He clears an area just in front
of his face while he's lying down of cleared dirt.
And as he as he was off to sleep, you just sort of Doodles
with his finger in the dirt and draws a little smiley face at
some point, which is by the way, the first use of the smiley face
in this universe, right? Correct.
DM. Is that right?
I feel I know others smiling faces.
Hi. You know?
I don't know. Well, blumpkin thinks he just
invented the yeah, yeah, maybe and it could be as you are.
You smiling thinks about all the things he's going to do with
this not with this new technology helvetica sits.
I'm assuming there's a fire that I could stays up late kind of
twirling her. Holy symbol and gazing Into the
Fire. And at some point she looks over
the pumpkin and she realizes that in his sleep, he shifted.
And so she goes over to bumpkins.
Straightens his blanket, she passes Warhead and then she
drops to little eyebrows, All The Smiling Faces surprise for
him in the morning, but blumpkin is it to respond farts.
Has in his blanket Kaiser, his blanket sort of Ruffles like a,
like a ribbon tied to a rotating fan.
I'm now absolutely on team if this doesn't get animated before
I die this planet anymore. I just want to so you will rest
for the knife it is an uneventful evening and in the
morning you wake and Tony is like all right it's it's just
down here. It's just this way and he leads
you through the forest and through to a little like
Meandering Creeks, the slowly expands a little bit, it doesn't
quite get into like full like River.
Our story. But like it's not it's not a
little creek by the time that you start start approaching the,
the base of the edge of the unified forest and what is
basically part of the base of the client Helm.
And I'm going to go ahead and sit.
Take this opportunity to look at this map with you guys a little
bit, just to give you an idea of where you guys are going.
So this is Haven Loft. Now, quite frankly, this gives
you an overview. View of Haven law that like, you
only sort of have the idea of, you know, you know, and that's,
that's why some of this imagery is a little bit vague and, and
unknown, Steve you guys started down in both the onus, you have
now, you know, full of thing. I notice is in this southwest
corner of Haven Loft and Jason to both the universe is a forest
called the unified for Just the unified Forest is named not
because it unifies of all the theaters with the rest of the
continent. But because the unified Forest
is in fact, full of unicorns next to the unified Force, the
the unified Force leads to a mountain range known as the
Klein held the clientele that is generally a pretty.
It's like people travel through it to for trade between voltage,
CMOS and the outside world. Anna Lee but he was a tough is a
tough journey and not a ton of people make it.
And so, so while you through, you know, occasional Travelers
and what not, you are familiar with the notion of the World
Behind beyond the client held, but you've never particularly
been there. Um, on the other side of the
client held you have Aaron days, which is sort of a like weird
kind of Hmm. What is the best way?
It's a commune Aaron days as a communist.
Also, it's like um, ice princess and her sister Anna.
Um, That was a frozen joke. Yeah.
So was it yes. Mother, the name of the town in
Frozen is arundale and that sounded kind of the same and
this floor engage, right? But Aaron, is that like an
emulsified butter sauce that goes on top of like eggs
benedict? Yeah, colonies.
Oh, that's a part of the Netherlands.
No, no, no, no. That's something that said
that's. That's Holland Holland.
Yeah. And that's the person who was
Spider-Man, right? Yeah.
So over here, you have the city of Prost Prost.
Is actually the largest city in Haven Loft but like honestly,
like you've, like you've heard of Aaron days and the
marshmallows but like not a lot of people like they're smaller
in comparison and not a lot of people from either of them.
Try to travel to vote with the onus.
Like what you know of them mostly comes from people of
brost because brost is the most people, the the biggest town it
and So, so we're here but like this mountain range.
Pretty much separates the like every.
Yep, you have to go through. You have to either go over
through the mountains to get through to the rest of the
world, it's kind of and then the silhouette of this kind of looks
like the GTA 5 map, and then the marshmallows honestly like Evie.
Like even as much as people from bras to have talked about Aaron
days, not like they there where the marsh Hollows generally the
marshmallows like it's the least like traffic And least sort of
note about towns because literally the marsh and like,
not a lot of people like, particularly enjoy going there
because it's Swampy Marsh. Um, it's March people.
Yeah. And, and yes, that's that's
mostly what, you know, of Haven Loft.
You are now at the base, you made it through the unified cold
Forest here at the base of the client help you've followed
this. So so you of you, follow the,
you know, Tony leads you to this like kind of Creek.
That's holy Expands and kind of winds its way out of the unified
to hook first, and to the base of the client held where you are
greeted by a, like, you know, it's not gargantuan Cave
opening, but it's big enough that the the water flows through
that, and, and into the cave and there's still ground for you to
walk into the cave itself as well and Tony's, like, it's
through here. But just so, you know, the
Locals in there, not the not the friendly swords, okay, and
spiders in here in town. So how Vedic is sees the water?
And she starts acting a little dodgy.
She starts getting a little, a little weird and she kind of
like edges closer to blumpkin as they like walk into this cave
and by the time that they are already, like all the way in the
cave, she's holding blumpkins hand.
Very tightly. You your, your shipping pumpkin
No, I'm not right now. I'm not.
I know I'm not shipping pumpkin. No, I'm not doing that.
I'm not saying on camera right now, but it would sure be a
shame if people were to ship. How that?
Yeah, it's terrible. Certainly, we sure don't want
that. So, blumpkin you have etiquette
has told blumpkin at some point in their history, why she
doesn't like water and he has forgot, he forgot years ago,
actually, why but he has, he's still gripping so strongly to
the memory that she does. In fact, forgive us He barely
remembers that she doesn't like water, certainly is no idea why.
But that's like one of the things that you know is about
health Attica and so he he he squeezes your hand back but not
so hardest it to hurt your hand because, you know, it's like if
you were to squeeze as hard as he wants to, it would hurt your
hand. So he's sort of squeezes like,
as if you were like you were holding like a rabbit or
something and and as you as you move like deeper in the the path
Narrows a little and like Tony like sort of like kind of like
he like walks ahead like he he's like Tony's taken from the rear
like he's like letting you guys lead but he's like as the cave
Narrows you realize that you're going to have to wade into this
water a little bit and he's like, don't worry.
It's not, it's not so deep dog. Just just keep moving.
It'll, it'll be fine. And so you lumping immediately
grabs helvetica, and not like a fireman's carry but like just
sort of throws her over his shoulder in a way that he thinks
doesn't hurt her but perhaps would, but like in his head,
it's like the safest possible way.
He knows that there are less uncomfortable ways to carry her
but he wants her to be safe and not a relative, how comfortable
she is. And soft music starts playing in
the background and his head at least.
As you. As you as you continue to wind
deeper in and particularly with what you're doing, you're moving
deeper and and you're stepping. And you see like a, like, it's
opening back up again into a like wider whiter room, sort of
it, within this cave. It's hard stone walls.
I mean, it's not particularly well-liked carved or anything
and the like from here, like it's clear.
Bit like the water in the creek, continues to flow deeper in the
cave, but like there's a reservoir that has collected a
fair deal of water within this room, sort of distributed, the
flow, a little bit. So that what trickles deeper is
not as much of contention. But this room does have, like, a
reservoir of like, what seems like it could be deeper water,
but it's most like, it's like, it's like a fat room in.
You're like in the skinny portion of it and you get the
sense that the the side portions of it where this Reservoir are
might be deeper and roll perception.
Chad, no. Okay, and you all have and
particularly with me how you're digging around, you have
disadvantage. Hey, Katey Ann Katey.
That's going to be a nightmare for you.
That's why I brought the folks at home.
I can hear it. Okay right.
You hear that right? Yeah, the right.
It's a sort of like a rolling apart, you know I got if I'm
rolling with disadvantage, I got a six, okay?
Okay, 13 for 13 married. Okay, badass.
Well, it was a for the second time, right?
Well, it's disadvantage. We got a 4 and a 6.
So, we're and so. So like we are aware that we
replace your like, stepping deep and and like to be clear like
where you're walking, you're like, at the most you're short
of like to your knees. Like you're not particularly
deep in the water. You're sort of half and a slash
through it a little bit and that's like you you are like
sort of in the middle of the room.
Then when you hear just from the side like a sorry.
Hey and and then you the new you here at the you say that and you
you you know, here here again. n like water just like All right.
Who the hell was that? Because this early wasn't me.
And then like it it's start like you hearing and like it starts
back away. Oh wait, like I hate this.
So just like a, are we in a trash compactor or something
like that? I'm about understand.
All right. And then like you you and Tony
Tony like looks over to the side and goes.
Oh shit. Look and you like you follow his
eyes And like, poking out of the water is like, a big old frog,
like like, you know, it it's like it's submerged mostly in
the water like you're seeing. It's like had a nice, right?
And it's just like a blumpkin immediately.
Drops of Attica. She's and just straight, not no
thought given drops her and runs over to the blog and goes all
the little buddy baby boy. Hello.
And be like, you know, this is me trying to be clear.
This, this this is a big frog, like this, this the the head
like the head you're saying is like a pass, get ball size, like
it is, it is a big old dude. But again you're only seeing
like it's it right like hair up, right?
So ham and it runs over and tries to pick it up as if it
were a much smaller. And as you do that is what he
has done. Well and let's let's be clear as
you like / /. over the water and that direction it does get a
little bit deeper, but more to point this thing stands up and,
and what, what you, what you are faced with is a humanoid frog
that that sort of like looks at looks at you and goes Intruders
internist and blogging is confused because he doesn't know
whether or not to love this thing as an animal or feared as
an enemy. And so, he just, he just sort of
and does that. Well, you know, and this point
taking English at this point. The the like the, the echoing
like rubber. I like it grows more frenzied.
And like, the one that was like, I can curse Intruders like, like
readies, its weapon. And two more of these frogs rise
from like you're in one half of the pool to more rise from the
other half and roll for initiative.
Yeah. Hi Billy.
Hi, I've heard even though it's less it's actually worse for you
than the natural 20. The artificial joint he's worse.
It was a joke on artificial. Sweetener ski that that's hand
normally. I really appreciate your drugs
but I Lumpkin you out of 20. Helvetica was yours.
It was a 10. Yeah, I was, I was pretty.
Okay, thank you. Friend.
Eric, will you fetch me a beverage?
You know, yes, I don't know. Surprise me.
Okay, Chris, would you like them?
No, just a dr. Pepper weekend trip.
There's one this is, this is why people come to the podcast for
where the parts were. Stop and make drinks.
You can it come to life? No, the podcast.
We're going to leave all this in.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Or you can just do like it. Like a ginger ale.
That would be. Okay.
But like maybe me something like maybe some apple juice too.
Sure. Yeah.
Would you like I'm getting rid of this tea though?
Yeah, that spider also Moon. I was drinking the tea that you
sent me like all night. So thank you so much for Kindle
ish asst. Okay, so yeah, you have these
are three from you boys that are gonna gonna, you know, are are
preparing for battle. They are there each brandishing
a spear? Well, two of them have a spare.
One of them has a short sword and they are brandishing it in
your general direction. Was he?
That Tony You still with us though, right?
Yeah. But Tony is behind you.
It's like you guys are in the lead.
Knuckle nuts is like right behind you and Tony is in the
far back and worth noting that like, you know, and this kind of
fits in and have things go. Like it's sort of is really
fitting because like you sort of run into this situation
blumpkin. So you are first but helvetica
since he like dropped your flat into the water you are like a
little bit more delayed in the order.
So that that's that's a sweet sort of, I think, I think too.
Like I was literally picturing like that moment where like
heaps I'm she's like, and then she's like, picking yourself
like up out of the water and she's like, squeezing out her
dress and she's like, just goddamnit blumpkin like just so
it's all right, all right. You're fucking weird froggy,
basis years because it makes me move this through the water.
So yeah, it is. It's to You drama.
It's to you blumkin. These guys are brandishing
Spears in your direction to him as fears.
One of them is a short sword of the one closest to you that you
approach is brandishing a spear and poking it towards you, but
it is your action and I've collected my hand axes right.
Yeah, you you're always going to collect your unless you like do
something really stupid with them, you're always going to
collect them at the guys, got it.
So blumpkin briefly reaches for a hand axe, number two, but he's
still not convinced that this thing being part animal is
actually a threat and he doesn't want to hurt it because it's an
animal. And so after that, he actually,
as quickly as he can reaches into his pack and grabs his rope
and And tries to tries to sort of last like ties up a foal.
A so very quickly and tries to throw it at the Frog creature in
attempts to subdue it. And that's what he does.
All right, I will, I will let you know, goes on, we're gonna
we're gonna consider this a grapple attempt so it is it is a
strength roll. Okay.
Um, so roll that that's 120. Yeah.
Yep. Almost everything.
Well yeah that's not gonna be good enough.
You you get the Rope around it but like it's it's oily.
Froggy skin, just sort of like slips like slip the Rope right
out, like off of it and it's still in it.
Like it lets out like, as it as it like, slips free it, you do.
And I'll take it even a step further.
You go to like, lasso it and it just like bends its legs.
And it jumps, 20 feet in the air lands firmly with.
It's like, like the the spear still draw.
Exactly the same position. Franklin Goes or frankly
blumpkin goes. Yeah seems about right?
Let's just say 10 feet. It just 10 feet of me.
I'm Stephanie is a lateral bleep of 2015 guys?
Okay cool. Oh so it mu is moved laterally,
20 feet. No it just left 10 feet in the
air unless it it left vertical. 10 feet.
She can leave 20 feet, blumpkin blumpkin has a flash in his
brain of his childhood frog. Pet and remembers its slipping
out of his hands. And no matter how hard he tried
to grasp. It was so slippery.
It flew out of his hands and goes, oh, yeah, that's he at
seems about rat seems about right?
The second time, he says that out loud.
Yeah, so yeah. If that, that, that that fails
and knuckle nuts, Step forward and is like, oh, I hate these
things and he he rears back. And is that good enough?
That is good enough. So he takes his longsword and he
doesn't lie. Bullshit.
Swing asshole, move. Try.
He's clearly now that again. Oh, I'm shaped like a
refrigerator. Oh, look how cool I am.
Yeah, I mean In fairness he he takes this, he goes over to one
of the, the one carrying like short-sword and like they like
grab they, you know, there's their sword fighting for a
moment and then it like attempts to like do a like leap attack
and like knuckle nuts. Like adjust a little bit and
like basically is the Frog comes down.
He just he's like holding his sword straight up and the Frog
just, like, skewers himself on it.
What is with this fucking knuckle nuts?
Does, he hold it, where his dick is?
So like, it's like he's holding it up when he's turned.
He's turned this bully. Walk into a puppet always done
and and I'm like, yeah, it's and and the, the terrifying thing
is, it's not dead. Oh God.
Welcome, blumpkin sort of turns around, still just Steve.
The abject failure. That was his stupid robe attempt
and sees this skewer froggy thing and looks over at
helvetica and goes, hey, It's that, that was his daughter.
One of the bully woggs. The one that you've been
screwing with taste the sphere, and, oh, comes in.
And first, it's going to try for a bite attack like it just like
it. You see it?
Like inflate its bottom lip the way for August 2 and then it
like opens its jaw wide and like goes in for a bite and does a
What's your armor class? 14 you up in hits and so you
take It's it gives you 3 damage and then it like pulls back and
like with this like depth move depth Deft movement of its peer.
It like goes to stab you and it succeeds and its proceeds to do.
Wolf 6 damage to you. Oh my gosh, pumpkin pumpkin
despite his past despite his memories of having a childhood
frog pet now just hates all prompts.
So, in the past, two days, blumpkin has now decided he
hates all just like stacks of twigs and cross and frogs and
promised a rock. And if he ever sees a cell
because it looks like a frog, And fucking murder some.
Oh God, he's gonna destroy those Twigs.
Katie, and now is helvetica Stern.
I think partially, the problem is that helvetica is seen
blumpkins reaction to the froggy, boys.
And she she's now conflicted because she doesn't want to kill
something in front of blumpkin, because she cares about pumpkin
so much. So I think what she is going to
try to do is I think she's going to.
This is such a bad idea. It's character motivated.
So I'm gonna do some anyway. Moon Moon prison says, the TV
start, a friend /. Not friends list.
Yeah, that's actually really happening here.
It's happening. Katie helvetica.
Grabs her. Holy symbol and casts.
Radiance of the Dawn. 40 know, so it's for intense as 14 plus
your cleric level, which is 2. So, that's 16.
So yeah, the one that failed just basically like, if a /
eights has the light of the Sun that you just summoned, just
just literally like it, like like you microwave, this frog
feels like a little bit. Like she she like watches this
happen and then she looks over at pumpkin and she kind of like
she's very embarrassed and in let's let's be clear and and so
you you you successfully you you microwave whirring frog and it
just it's like it was too. It was it was doing perfectly
fine. Like it was advancing Intruders
were and and all of a sudden it just stopped in his tracks.
X. And we want explodes.
Like the frog. From that terrible Hulk.
Yep. And then the terrible one that
they had weird order one. No one was pretty good.
And then, and also the one, the one that was suspended on
knuckle, nut sword, made it, isn't there anymore either and
the, the, the, the last one is the one that had attacked.
Pumpkin ain't looking, so great either.
Damn. And let's go sort of shakes.
His head of the water off of his ears and looks at helvetica and
adjusts his pants and then looks at all the dead frogs, right
Amigos? Yeah.
Mmm, then Tony Tony sort of like
he like sort of like trots Ward and he's like I think I think
you like he sees all the like frog guts everywhere is like, I
think you guys got this one handled and like, and it's like
all I'll help. I'll give you a hand after what
I'm can says. Well, Tony, if you if you if you
could handle yourself then we would never would have met and
then it is 1. Again is pumpkins turn and
you've got one very, not particularly the one that
attacked you, the one that you tried to ensnare before and is
now looking like he's looking like he's still alive but like
in a similar way to how the other ones like sort of swolled
up and exploded. Like he's looking like that
started to happen and he managed to keep himself from exploding,
okay? Oh gosh.
Oh man what are you going to do moms?
I got a couple ideas what one can do?
Pumpkin pumpkin takes this bloated frog and grabs it by
like the skin of the back of its neck and walks through the hot.
Hobbles it over to knuckle nuts and then takes 10 takes one of
his javelins and puts it like right in front of his crotch
like so that so that you got you Got knuckle nuts and blob can
between them, is this frog creature?
And blood gets the job in front, squat and thrust forward.
So that the, the javelin blasts through the Frog.
Spewing, it's got soul over knuckle nuts and like from.
So he does that. And in from everyone's
perspective is like the frog in front of him and then blumpkin
like leans over to one side to like, sort of like go ha ha ha,
that's how that's done and blumpkin goes.
See. Now, that is how you use it.
How you, how you think of a joke, how you roll rolling
attack roll? Like as you have these Grand
designs in your head on how this is gonna play out?
Yes yeah. I'm willing it 12 plus your plus
your attack bonus that would make it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Strength - is everything making hits 15?
Yep that's going to be good enough.
That's what I am. Do it.
Yeah. Yeah.
No it like I think I think by the time whatever plays out
happens, I'll skewer you skewer him and like, like he'd like and
like Falls dead. Um, and and knuckle nuts like is
like sort of splattered a little bit with the guts and, and he's
like, Nice. And then like proceeds to like
way down in the water and sort of like splashing soap clean a
little bit Lumpkin. Pumpkin looks at knuckle nuts
with we're not, I wouldn't say Newfound respects.
But like the competition has now become like more friendly.
This is, this is starting to feel like at like a very much
like a Gimli Legolas situation. Exactly.
Yeah.
So so like in this room counting or kills out with killing an
elephant or the old, a foxhole still need to only counts as
one. That's true.
A conscious one. So are we are so weird, you're
cleared of froggy, boys and free to keep moving forward through
the cave. All right?
And as you move through the again, like you sort of get out
of where this Reservoir is and there's more open.
There's a more actual ground Beneath Your Feet.
There's less actual water at least in this section of the
cave. Um, and as you Sort of blew
through you pass a room and there's small chamber which
seems to feature nothing, but a small pedestal with a glowing
golden frog. On top of it.
Oh, oh no. Oh no.
So, so blumpkin immediately since the glowing Golden Frog,
fat black, it loving us, huh? I'm gonna Chadzmuth, but we
talked about her, it's never the volcano blumpkin he starts
spinning. His arms very quickly in his in
his apt foot is tapping on the floor with increasing frequency.
I'm gonna dunk in anybody. Immediately takes off towards
the towards this at this point. He only sees the glowing object.
He doesn't know what it is, but he Sprint's towards it and then
at some point, during his Sprint towards it.
Well, we'll see how that goes first and then we'll go go.
Go. You know, it goes totally fine.
You get you get to it and like tote like like knuckle nuts and
Tony are like, I really totally fine.
Really thought there was going to be a bolder statement.
Knuckle nuts and Tony who are like standing back and watching
all this, like Tony's, like no and uncles late nights, like
mmmm? No, no pumpkin.
As when I am. I would like know.
I care for you. I mean, are you?
And let's be clear, they're not, they're not walking.
They like they haven't even entered its small chamber.
So it's not like there's a ton of room in there anyway I just
but like they're not, they're not walking there watching that
they're very curious to see how this goes like but like have
this like mental image in my head of like helvetica is Aired
for every circumstance surrounding blumpkin.
Just like blundering and she's like, and I feel like she's like
has a bag of like I don't like I don't so I can't just do it.
But in my mind I was like picture of helvetica to be like
and she reaches into like the blumpkin bag and she's like,
she's looking around and she finds like the weighted bag.
It's just like pumpkin he, if you must hear it or how do you
go and go in the room or not. Yes, because I want to be, I
want to make sure that block, I'm so sorry.
I couldn't, you can both do a perception check, particularly
you, you have disadvantage on this, you you're keeping control
of yourself so to and Snake Eyes, baby, Snickers.
So so I'm in true, like months of the week except for the
session fashion, I'm going to treat this as a mixed success.
You see? That there's a trap but because
he doesn't, you don't necessarily see how to
deactivate it. All right.
You don't see that? There's a draft of course it up.
Ya drunken blumpkin, look at me. Look, look, pumpkin pumpkin.
Pumpkin is my son still running, right?
I haven't stopped just still know.
You're you're, you're, you're, you're ignoring the thing,
you're at the thing, you're right over it.
Okay, pumpkin. We've talked.
Yeah, it's a small chamber.
You didn't have a Our distance, right?
So I'm getting Lumpkin reaches with both hands for no reason
towards this little thing lumpkins just before his hands
touches. He notices that it's a frog and
like, just a couple minutes ago, he would have grabbed this frog
and started like licking it and naming it and stuff like that.
But he notices, it's a frog and he hates frogs now.
So he's hands freeze right in front of the, the Frog and he,
then he hears, you call call out his name blumpkin thing and he
turns around Was yeah yeah. Like and remember the casino we
don't touch. Before we check for traps.
You now I'm just Rich. Victorian 10.
That's absolutely two sessions. Everybody stop the down to
septons till you drop it. All right.
So has a better guy says not as Rich.
Victorian widow, she says she's Bumpkin, you don't don't forget,
I'm in the casino darling. No, shit, I'm just here.
So you can do Richard Cory, whatever, it's okay.
Traps first. Remember in eyes on me 123.
Yes, good. All right, blocking I think.
All right, I know you want it. I want it.
I know you do but because his gold but it's a frog.
Yeah. And you remember those frogs
from earlier, was while ago. It's like, I'm and it's kind of
fuzzy for me too, but, you know, just how they look like frogs,
do you remember? They look President was very
mean. I don't know where they got the
idea that they could, they could just stand up and be peoples of.
Anyways, I don't really, I don't know how I got mixed feelings.
I know block, I'm very proud of you for not acting on your
immediate impulse. That's very good, character
development. That's years of practice.
Thanks to you. Thank you so much.
I appreciate. All right, let me, well, we
don't want another casino accident.
So, let's do this. And why don't we both walk away
from the shiny side? Achoo.
And what another person, who perhaps the likes frogs more
than us, keep it love getting, blumpkin remembers the incident
at the casino and remembers that if it's the stage hadn't
collapsed beneath him, he totally would have had it.
He totally would have had the golden totem in his hands and,
and you briefly considered as just trying better this time.
But then he forgets all that and killing.
And and in turns around and sloshes back towards the Harbour
There's water. There's still water.
Now I'm in this room. He still slushes?
Yeah. Easier is booty in Tony Toth as
he is he is he like step out of the room.
Tony like looks at you looks at you and is like it's trapping
it? Yes.
Could you could you tell what kind of trap it was?
It was, it was you could tell that much.
I died. Yes.
So I tell him that but in oh oh. Oh my God.
I know it. I know what this is and I got
this. I'm so good at this.
I got this when you get immediately hears him say that
it just tries to pretend that he all has also got this even
though he totally knows that he doesn't and just it just says
everything that Tony says right after he says it.
But thinking he's saying it the same time and just hand him and
and Tony Tony Tony goes in Tony's not speaking Tony Tony
Tony like trots into the room and sort of like eyes the trap
out like eyes the Frog over a little bit.
I thought follows him in and buys the Frog and and Tony
should be Tony totally look Services what I thought you
weren't gonna pick this. I you gonna pick this up and he
was like well I I mean if that's like I don't wanna what we need
to do right now. I know what we, I just want to
know if you know I know what I want to do right now.
To do but I just want to know about you know this what I know
that what nevermind I have no fucking idea what I'm doing.
I'm sorry, I'm not to get us all killed and and Tony Tony.
He's like what? Watch this and he like bends
over and similar just doesn't want to, but he turns around
because he really wants to know if.
Similarly, does Emily tooth solely to the gold coins that he
like had? I see you guys about getting
earlier like, He like just take cities like like like bins over,
like takes the Frog into his mouth and like swallows it.
And as he liked, lifts it off like a dart fires from the back
of the room and like, hits Tony in the neck and like, Tony like
Trot Sova to knuckle nuts, who like pulls it out of me.
Tony's neck, and Tony goes poison immunity suck it.
Have etiquette Lumpkin leans over to help.
Pangos hat. You know, things are confusing
to me pretty often. I got to say yes, but I got what
the fuck just happened with that.
Goddamn dog hitting that unicorn in the throat and what is poison
immunity? Well, I'm so fortunate to find
immunity. I do believe glove fitted means
that poison cannot affect our unicorn friend.
Is that is that the fellow with the, I came powder that we met
directly after the volcano. It was like that.
Oh, you Mean, you mean a Jan-Michael Vincent?
Yeah, I remember him. Yeah, of course.
Yeah. It's cool.
Okay. Small bit to poison a warrant on
the mountain time. Okay, cool.
By the way, were you using FX with an e or an a blumpkin
remembers? He was reading a coffee table
book and he read that. There's a difference between the
effect with an, A and E and he goes, I'm going to I'm going to
use that with helvetica to try to get her to like me at some
point O. So he doesn't remember the
difference, but he knows that that's that.
Get smart thing to say. So just just for just for the
sake of the podcast that was my poison dart frog challenge.
You solve your poison dart frog, puzzle and Tony Tony Tony.
Tony Tony his own puzzle for us. Yeah, come on.
Here's what I did is I introduced and like I said, the
word Casino No, so I helped because always you going plot
twist. Oh yeah, I've heard that guy's
got a lot of plots in his closet.
He's got a big plot. Small plots medium plot mediums
on slots for days. Just walk around is fucking
crazy. So you keep you you did it with
it with it, with Tony, having swallowed episodes would be five
minutes long, the Tony having swallowed his his prize, you all
continue through the cave and as you're making your way through
the next sort of sort of whole of the cave.
All of a sudden, you, you like knuckle not sort of like stops
in his tracks and do a perception check both of you
just regular Either one noticed finish 66 in command.
And what are your guy, your Bonnet about everybody?
That's that's worth high-five. Nice.
You should have no high five. Okay.
No. High five for the nice.
Okay, 6910 your 11, maybe because it would be a wisdom
modifier. So you've got 11 because which
is going to be good enough. Knuckle nuts has a patch on his
clothing and you haven't like, particularly noted It before
he's wearing clothing. I thought it was made of rock.
Do you see, where's Chloe? He's got like a vest on and he's
Rich. He's a good guy from like
Neverending Story. I was picturing nothing, I was.
Why was I? All right?
Never mind. It's a I was picturing a
sideways refrigerator that is honestly what I was picturing
just in time. We made a reference to a
refrigerator box that know. It's super hot.
We're like what you have like like okay so the refrigerator
yeah, do you have a little stick arms?
And, yeah. So that's refrigerator.
And then mr. Potato Head, just like little
arms on the side. That's way better.
Yeah. And you can see, he can somehow
use those with a great sword apparently, effectively.
I mean, you know, if you believe the take Ma and and he's got
this patch, that is shaped like that.
So, it looks like just in front of mask will hurt.
You have like the free throw line and a little curvy thing.
And then on the inside British prime, the free Lemis.
Our triangle. And there's a circle thing going
on here, right? Right.
Oh, yeah. It looks kind of like a he has
to memory card. Hey, are anybody?
What's up? Think about that in its
component pieces, okay, so I'm alright.
I got a triangle here. Oh, well, well, they figure this
out. I gave them a puzzle earlier.
This week, two is a clue to what they were getting into today.
And this is, this is the second puzzle that I Given them in
term. This the I gave them a second
puzzle, that was sort of along these lines and so, yeah,
they're Katie, Katie is cracked it, that was quick.
Oh my gosh, Katie, I mean, I think I know where a lot of
Escape rooms and my job is a NG and puzzles.
So, Okay. So it's yeah.
Yeah. I still don't know what.
Ah this is all visual is. Yeah.
And and and you've no means to understand what this is.
You just know this symbol and you know that it is glowing and
what, so this symbol who's the symbol on again.
It's like a patch on knuckle knuckle, it nuts is fast.
Ok, so now let's not go. Nuts has a vest on and pants
that does it. Um, a big big, big refrigerator,
so lad, So Katie you and I now have some idea of what this
symbol means because of some events that happened last night
that we're not that, that we're not going to go into hearing
this podcasting. Yeah.
Well I'm sorry. I'm trying to make it good
pocket. It's good.
So they've been giving him a sturdy and it's glowing and he
he notices it and he stopped was a going and I said hey there is
at least half an hour Kinnear at.
I don't know if that's what the thing is trying to tell it would
be less happy. See, hmm, and he starts, he
starts like looking around and goes oh I see.
And he like leans over and he starts like shuffling through
some like rocks on the ground and he's like, oh and he starts
like picking some up into his hands and he goes here.
Taste Tip Lankan. Yes, do not swallow is Stone
blumpkin freezes immediately. Looking at what he thinks is a
stone environment. Perhaps correctly looks over,
he's Rock. Do not eat, do not eat always
saying, but put them up, but don't but don't swallow.
Do not. So let's-- rock blumpkin
blumpkin holds his hand under well, oh, okay.
Well, I guess blumpkin holds his hand under knuckle nuts.
His hand holding the rocket is about to grab it and then looks
that helvetica goes. Yeah, I mean, he's like produces
another one and like, like all visit to.
Yeah, she is, I guess from looking takes bunk and takes the
Rock and then holds it over to have a diagnosis.
I mean, I'm going to put his dick in my mouth right now.
I don't really know what you're gonna do, but I'm definitely put
this thing about. Don't swallow it, but let's do
it together. All right.
All right, nickel for every time someone said that to me, huh?
At least for me. It's weird.
It's happened. That many, that is put the Rock
in your mouth. Gotta have five Nick.
I'm sorry, I know. I'm supposed to tell you,
Abraham, had phone. That's all right.
Counting. The one from earlier and blumkin
puts of the Rock in his mouth, I am Anna's as knuckle nuts, like
takes the others, and he sort of like shoves it into a bag of
holding that he actually has on him.
And uh, as you all put in your mouth, you Taste the apples.
You taste oranges. Take them out.
Try do it is fun. And he takes EDT takes one and
he's like, he's like, put it like he like takes it out and
put like, puts his own neck and yes, very good.
Hey, mama, look at this is tastes just like an apple
because he forgot the word rooms, he just knows that small
fruits are small fruits. So he means orange.
But he says, apple, and he goes to this tastes like an apple to
you. Yes, it does actually, it's
really nice isn't. It's not since our Dyson.
It's not. We do you.
Take out try again. And this time you taste like,
like you taste honeydew and you taste pee.
Is huh? And and knuckle nuts goes, they
are Fruity Pebbles, fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you goddamn
that's fair. That's arguably very much
weight. Is honeydew a fucking flavor.
It's a pretty brutal fruit. It's melted.
Yeah, it's well, they're Fruity Pebble, right?
God's game. Yes, damn it.
You can't see this on the podcast but Chris looks so
fucking pleased with himself. He looks like you you look like
you just ripped a sick part in a car and you are controlling the
window locks that they are looking against right now.
They are, they are Stones, do not swallow, okay.
All right, but we can we can we try it again?
Blumpkins. Yeah, well, so so helvetica like
holds her hand out like in front of pumpkins mouth, just like
Bodkin. Spit spit it out.
Okay, Lumpkin, blumpkin looks at her hand and then let's hit
helvetica goes. Pumpkin spit it out.
Love you. Can we talked about this blanket
blumpkin quickly reaches to the ground and picks a random,
hello. You puts it in his mouth and
then stands back up and goes, huh.
What a swallowed it. I swallowed.
It almost immediately that he would think about it.
I didn't know what I was doing the free metal as strong as
swallowed. I swallowed the hook pretty
Pebble, that's what. Hey, hey Mom.
Hello here. Look at me like wipes.
The one that was in his mouth offenses.
Here you can have mine. All right, he did.
Pebble it goes. All right, I'm going to put this
thing in my mouth, but every who here can honestly say that they
have not put a pebble in their math that they weren't supposed
to swallow and then swim, who is propelled about not swallowing
it? All right.
Oh wait, oh wait, someone tell them.
Hey everyone. I'm just going to take this from
Chris because I want to dampen this way everyone in the room,
universally reaches ringing. That's that's all right.
So I'll take a judge of that class and had the wrong with the
grab. All right, now, can I swallow
this water who's? Well drown, we're not, we're not
leaving. So I'm not swallowing this not
eating the Rocks, but all right. They are there stones but they
taste fruity. All they taste.
Good luck immediately. Swallows the second Stone.
Completely free whole God and he'll let it go like she's
wearing white house, that it goes wire-rimmed glasses.
Nonetheless encirclements takes nothing.
Looks like frantically, like goes through and like, picks out
the free. Where's the Fruity Pebbles that
he's found and just stuff them all in his bag of holding?
Well, giving you a look like Jesus Christ, man.
You are people's taste. This wire is not just the pretty
one. What's happening pebbles for a
long time and I've never tasted nothing like that.
All the Wasted Years, all men, there was that time at the
volcano, all sorts of interesting happens there your
hey Rocky Tony, Tony, looks at knuckle nuts and goes when they
eat a mother. If he eats them, are they
considered a neutral evil? And they go through?
This is digestive system. He like that's, that's his
That's his response to this situation.
So like weird Lumpkin goes, what's a digestive system?
Is it is that is my is my belly Eagles.
That, I don't know what, because slowly takes off her wire-rimmed
glasses and she just pinches the bridge of her nose Blanca, she
takes her. Holy symbol with the other hand
and she just And she puts her glasses back on and she goes.
Can we move on gentlemen? Yes.
And you didn't you blow you do has no idea what he did wrong
but recognizes that as being like, he just did something
wrong and not do nothing, Uncle nuts.
Knuckle that's takes a pebble for himself and so does Tony and
he is really good and I would like it if you didn't ask it
that way dude. Pretty Pebble in your mouth
vertical. Like appreciate it.
But then she takes it out to the, put it in a pot.
Yeah. If you if you keep s, you kept
sucking on a little bit. It does change flavors nickel.
Um, but yeah, you you move on and you come into a, another
larger room. You enter a large open chamber,
with five, Stone pillars, rising from the earth and a perfectly
tailored diamond formation. You can see clearly from across
the room, a large gate that has been built in the cave wall,
they card wood and steel. Fortune inspiring your way
forward. You step deeper into the room.
You can see the door is a brass doorknob but no discernible
lock, you notice the stone. Archway, around the door has
been perfectly cut and tailored with each individual Stone
bearing. A unique Dwarven, Rune and a
small recess below it. Thank you, see you step towards
the pillars. You see similar rooms carve the
top of each of the four corners pillars.
The fifth Central pillar does not have any rooms but instead
has four Stones, a ruby, a sapphire, amethyst and emerald.
Yes. But Lumpkin turns over and says
I have Anika blumpkin. Definitely, no one else, but
just blumpkin was not really paying attention for the last
couple of like a minute or so, could you just could you
explain? Could you could?
You look at this room for me and my God ADHD be baby.
Here we go. It's Didi.
Okay, so there's okay. All right, no me, the only just
start over again, use just use like you enter a large open
chain. Burl, Five Stone pillars.
Rising from the earth in a perfectly tailored diamond
formation. You can see clearly from across
the room, a large gate that has been built in the cave wall, big
hard wood, and steel reinforcements, borrowing your
way forward, as you step deeper into the room, you can see the
door has a brass doorknob, but no discernible lock, you notice
a Stone Arch, way around the door has been perfectly cut and
tailored with each individual Stone bearing.
A unique Dwarven, Rune and a small recess below it.
As you step towards the pillar. You see similar runes carbon the
top of each of the four Corning pillars Fifth Central pillar
does not have any rooms but instead has four Stones, a ruby,
a sapphire and amethyst and emerald red blue, purple, green
carefully nested into recesses similar to those.
You see below each Runa March way.
The jewels and not the colors. Red, blue amethyst is purple
Emerald, this green and green. Okay, carefully nested it is
this breast. Recesses, some of those you see
about below each Rune on the archway.
Way Tony sees this and groans shit.
I hate puzzles, knuckle nuts. And All His Infinite Wisdom,
decided to throw his full weight against the door to.
No avail seems. It's up to you all to find a
way. Okay, okay.
Okay. Okay.
Helvetica, neue, helvetica. He'll let you wait, wait, wait
wait, wait before we go on, I just want to point out that
kitty. I just watched you write down
that information and I want to point out that you wrote down
the first letter of all the colors as he was saying because
he was saying the very quickly and then you went back and wrote
the rest of the word that is some top.
Not ADHD experience shit right there.
Well Goddamn okay. Who do we?
Okay, I had a canal, vertical role of perception track to look
more closely at the runes to get like which rooms are?
We're sure. Yeah.
And and can I roll, I guess this would be something that it can.
I roll perception of to see if, if blumpkin notices that he can
read Dwarven script because his language is written in the same
helvetica strength, nothing, she knows nothing.
Yeah, that's fine. She is here.
Yes. So I see because you're because
Orcs Orcs And Dwarven language very similar the same way.
So, yeah, I see hate, fuck me. Yeah.
You you can't desert, you know, only even say hey, it is easy.
You can tell like this, this is an easy one, at least around the
the door. It's the fucking alphabet.
It's the alphabet here or around the door.
At least like 2012, 20 and eat 2020 is less than 10, right?
I recognize most of us we've got.
Okay, so just so I know what I am.
What we're looking at there. Yeah, door there's a handle.
There's an archway. Speak friend and enter.
I had promised. Fuck you just wrote a joke.
I was going to make him. Sorry.
All right it's fine middle of it wouldn't be there.
It was you and me read it again, man.
No, I can move straight it again.
Usually tell us what we're looking at, you don't have to
like read it. But um, I mean Elmo.
You can see clearly from across the room and large gate that has
been building the cave wall. Thick hard, hard, wood, and
steel reinforcement sparring your way forward.
As you step deeper in the room, you can see the door is a brass
doorknob but no discernible lock, you knows the stone.
Archway, around the door has been perfectly cut and tailored
with each individual Stone bearing.
A unique Dourdan Rune and a small recess below it.
Oh I see. Okay.
Okay, I get it now. Okay, so so the the alphabet is
around the door and then there's a spot underneath each letter.
Yep, we're hypothetically. The corresponding color would
fit to spell out a word in the word.
Open the door. Perhaps Perhaps, good progress.
Hey, wait a minute. Well, I guess blumpkin would be
saying these are great because you hear that I did.
Yeah, so wasn't. Honeydew, one of the flavors of
those rocks. Yes, that's a melon Madness.
Speak friend and enter, right? That would be a but that's like
a five letter and I would suggest that you only have four
Stones. There are four pillars, that
have rooms carved into them and so, yeah.
What are the, what are the ruins of the pillars?
Anything, they've let around the right.
Oh wait, you you see? You see, we have seen working
with us, try to get him. All right, so blumpkin goes out,
tries to figure out what they are recognizes that they are.
In fact, letters and goes, oh, that's dwarvish.
I remember because my grandma used to come to you.
You, you see, you see the letters be in, okay?
Hey, this lesbian, okay, I just leaving tomorrow.
Nobody helped me. Those on the top and then there
are additional things that are more complex sentences that it's
Circle, each pillar, okay, cool. And what color of, but I'll give
you the letters because, you know, the alphabet at least
whether or not you could read is or wait.
So I don't necessarily know that they're in this order.
I just want to say, I'm not saying that, that's okay.
So, the letters that pumpkin seeds are gone within these of
these are on top of the four pillars, the the, and And circle
the central pillars with the gyms on with the gym sauna?
No, I know. Yeah.
Knob is an anagram of. Yeah.
So okay. Okay, okay.
So now there's no tells it is or not has no discernible lock.
Yeah. So why would we already know
there's enough there? Great, but we're looking for a
locked on, okay? But but I think we have to put a
key in the top know, we have to put the rocks on the letter.
So it's minus one, says the blue one do better, tons of
non-uniform, the no better read. And then Central one simply says
tournament. Or it's over.
It's board goes into a rage and just start hacking at the door.
Wait a fucking second. Yes, Toby.
Okay, so we're in a room, right? There's a big old Dawn, right?
Hardwood steel reinforcements buying our way forward.
Yes, just like God said earlier, there's a brass doorknob, right?
But no discernible lock right there.
Turn the knob I was it just was a locked.
Fuck me. Hey, have we is that thing?
Even fucking a lot because if this little refrigerator shape,
little motherfucker tells us today what I tell you won't get
immediately runs over you son of a bitch.
Oh my god dude. Doraemon blumpkin runs over and
tries to turn the knob and it opens son of a Chris Christopher
Eric. I think that maybe maybe we have
ADHD. I'm starting to doubt myself.
This motherfucker there's no discernible lock you sometime.
I'm rage braiding my bangs right now.
That's how angry I am Chris. Chris how long have you been
looking forward to this moment? Like be honest like to be
honest. I just yeah I was really proud
of Designing this bubble actually.
I feel like betrayed in this like it.
I genuinely am hurt, like slightly, hurt and betrayed
because that Okay. All right, so they go through
the fucking unlocked unlocked don't, we're gonna have to bring
bring down those level was just stop screaming.
The on the, on the unlocked door.
And you make your way through the hallway Beyond and as it's a
blumpkin successfully opens the door, he's there just to be
clear. So blumpkin thinks that the door
was locked, he does he continues to think that but somehow he's
just strong enough to just crush the lock and opens it.
And so, blumpkin believes that, he's the only reason that they
got through that room. Also, I forgot to ask you this
earlier is, I'll let him choose tied up.
It's tied to a shoe, they are currently.
Timex. Well done, you.
You made it to the middle of the episode.
I'm quite proud of you. Perhaps a water break is in
fact, in order before we get back to the action, we just
wanted to let you know that this week's episode of ADHD India is
in fact sponsored by a good fantasy glasses nakos at Fantasy
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Well, mmm. Well anyway, back to the show
Lampkin. Do you want to do it?
Oh, he's he's gone. All right, transition.
So as you make your way through the hall and into the next room,
you start you before, before you get far, you hear sound that
you'd heard before you here. Nope, talk.
This blumkin goes Sarto? Wait.
Last time, I thought I didn't before, but, you know, sometimes
when those little sneaky ones comes out, so I apologize
because I'm Alive, looks over to help out again Wings, because
she taught him to read. He's like not see, I don't think
that was me. This, I'm gonna say it.
I'm just going to go out where I can say, I did not fart in this
moment. That was not me and you welcome.
You're welcome. However, because so angry from
the previous puzzle that she can't really focus right now.
She's looking body is literally shaking with actual fucking real
rage, about a fictional game of Dungeons and Dragons and is
being played. And she sort of having an
existential crisis because she's a fictional Channel characters
Bering Sea, very real emotion. And she's just so mad at her
fucking husband. Fuck, you.
It's fine. We're all okay.
It's fine. That's just good dming, it's
fine. I'm going to drink my drink and
it's stop your incessant laughter.
So sir that was the most brutal thing.
I'm sorry. Oh my God, it was so well.
That was fucking what is the best puzzles?
No puzzles. All but the best puzzle is no
those are a bunch of people with ADHD.
Yes. I said I created that puzzle.
Wait what if we typically to trigger your ADHD what if we did
you intentionally make the anagram of those letters knob
to? Yeah it's not about the goddamn
it. For those of you not watching
the live, Eric has just rage left.
Fuck. You don't even Is now wandering
about the kitchen? We've the his hands hurt his
pockets. No, but he was waving his arm
about wildly. I did the same thing earlier.
I'm just as guilty now, what is raised pacing about?
The kitchen, welcome to Dungeons & Dragons, hard to find
something to smash skating ice is my house.
Okay, listen, my husband had the same thought earlier, I was
gonna smash that know. You can't okay, please don't.
I just gestured to a to those. Do.
I just gestured to your entire the rest of your evening.
Just yes, I also. Okay.
So it's just so. So how about it, guys?
Didn't we already fun? This is a fun game.
We're having fun. This is fun.
So much fun. How many cars there shaking with
rage? Blumpkin assumes that she's
dismayed because she is jealous of him a blumpkin for being a
strong enough to destroy the clearly locks locking mechanism
of the door. And he comes over and flexes his
bicep what he thinks to be subtly.
And just goes, you know, one day have Attica, you'll be the
bustling. You walk up you and you will,
you'll smash the locks on very clearly locked doors and you
know, you know what problem Creator going to smash something
later. This is definitely not the skull
of my real-life husband. It's fine.
All right, I was very specific to Google or having this
conversation, the the croaking grows louder.
I'll give you four letters and and and like Ellie all even and
we're gonna there's a who's what's the marching order who's
Going fra. Is it is blumpkin are you in
front feel like yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Well, you know surprise fucking around as suddenly one of these
bully wugs jumps, 20 feet toward you.
But Jen they can jump ten feet vertically.
They have a lateral leap of 20 feet and so it jumps out of the
darkness towards you, but like 20 feet, The group chat says
that you winded. The dungeon master award for
breaking, both your players for not locking the door um but
yeah, it leaps up forward and it like tries to jab you with its
fear, but it misses and roll for initiative, okay?
All right. Pretty doors involved in this
because we're done. Oh, that 20 baby bird.
Okay, that's good. 17. So the bully wigs, jump forward,
trying to attack you missed, and it is now your action in
response to that and you've got a bully will, ugh right in front
of you, spear like drawn and tried to stab you with missed,
what do you do? Stab it in the face.
So, Isabella noise is the same creature.
As we get more, these are these are more big fraud kids, the big
tall thing. So, at this point and bold and
by the fact that I just broke the there was a lot door in
front of me. And I was so strong that I just
unlocked it with my Shear strength.
And this is frog, which I now don't like, I pull out Martha
and hand-axe number two when I attempt to, and I attempt to
swipe its head off again, like, what?
Like like sort of like an action.
Yeah, so I go one hand, my left hand swings laterally to the
right, my right hand swing slide, 11.
I try to just us. I Supply cut it.
Head off and it, right? Right as I'm about to bring my
hands down for, like, two for the hit.
I look over at helvetica, to make sure she's watching as my
hands are swinging. Okay, roll for roll rolling
attack. Well, so I I just all right, so
I tried to pick it up, but I dropped it.
If that conflict conflict. No, no, it's up to you.
It would give it a real rocket, cool.
But it's a roller. You keep yours.
Yep. That's going to do a roll roll
damage. I'm going to say regular one is
B6, I'll give you an additional plus 2 to whatever your role
because you're double swinging. But you're so like bullshitting
a little bit there but we're also just we're at like 11:00
and I still have a lot of ground we want to cover.
So yeah, that didn't feel well. Yeah, you you bash this dude but
because it's like a little frog. If we were like squeezing frog.
They're really flying. I usually so so it like it like
a Zach. Comes down it just like its head
like swells for a moment what and then it like returns of
normal as you pull the axle back when those toys episode terribly
and he punches SpongeBob SpongeBob SpongeBob has made a
sponge squeak squeak just happen with that frog.
It did not like that experience let's be clear about that but it
is you know it's not Terrible shave after it and it's gonna
like turn around is going to try to bite you, which did not go
well for it. You would a c14 right?
Yep. That list and then it goes with
its sphere then and that does succeed and you take for
piercing damage as it sort of chriskate.
He's eating a cheese that she's allergic to cheese.
It's I'm eating habit. He's drunk.
Okay, you take you take for damage as it sort of like Jabs
you you as it sort of Jabs at Jabs.
You with your sweet it's fear. You take poor damaged, okay?
Just out of curiosity. How much?
How much healthy. Okay, so you're good.
Then from there it is. I'm going to guess, it's
helvetica is turns sweet. Is it just the one frog there
are, you see multiple others in the background that are going to
be coming your way soon. All right, in that case, you
know what? Fuck it.
I'm just fucking hit another thing.
Speak, did you do that? Because you know that I wanted
to achieve that until you got me another snack that I'm not
allergic to. So I could eat that snack
instead. Yeah, because that's really
that's really A good french all gasp.
I'm sorry you were saying, sir, gasping, very good friend.
Yeah. Well we're playing D&D Focus.
Do you need the old about friendship?
Radiance of the Dawn bitch. Yep.
Okay. What art was so darling again.
So are you doing? And they're all going to make
Constitution saving throws, which seat succeed or fail.
There's a bunch of frogs and see you.
They're coming at us. Right helvetica. so earlier,
earlier to d-10, 8 & 9 is 17.
Plus two is 19. So yeah.
One at, like, one of the two of them, the one that attacked him
initially explodes and so does one in the background.
He said, see popping Legend, holy schnikeys so they call Mom.
Um there are still two others that are pretty rough shape
right now but they're they're still standing and knuckle nuts,
sort of like sort of like writing this is stored in case
of an attack but he doesn't do anything yet and one of them is
going to act and he's going to shout for the king.
Is it like Leap Forward and is going to try to attack helvetica
because you just blew up a bunch of his friends, like a goddamn
fish, like a goddamn, it's B misses.
But then it goes for its Spear and that does hit.
So you take five piercing damage, has it sort of stabs you
with that spear then Tony is like oh God I don't want I don't
want Want frog guts. I'm staying out of this and he's
so sticks back and self Tony who's is not to fight, because
he doesn't want to get dirty. That's, that's hides.
But have I blew him and then he'll answer guy with that same
blown horn and now he's like frogs, Yeah, Tony doesn't have
to be used like me, you know, Tony Tony's neutral evilly
doesn't have to be helpful if he doesn't want to be, that's
valid. Um and one of the other
Bollywood Leaps forward and attacks.
You once again, it's and and is protect the king and a taxi
blumpkin. And and uh, yeah, both of those
hit. And you should you take 8
damage? Oh my gosh, am I?
Yeah. Oh shit 3.
We've never seen injured Bumpkin before.
Yeah, I'm Junior get in your honor.
You're well and bloody. Oh, yeah.
Also, it is the king. It is your turn.
It's your turn at this point. This is after I've sustained
that damage. Yep, it's pumpkins go.
Okay, so I take, I'm still in possession of my hand, axes,
right? Because you have on them.
So blumpkin despite his great injury takes Martha the hand
axe, and Exit at whichever threat is nearest to toning for
fun. I mean, they're like one's on
you and one son on helvetica. All right, so excuse me.
I was trying. I was hoping that would be a
funny joke. Yeah, I guess that's he whips it
at the one that's that's nearing helvetica.
Yeah, Roland attack roll. I've never hurt another
character. The way that that'll do it if
you have and you don't don't even worry about the damage.
Roll you toss this axe at it. And Like it like embeds in the
back of this thing's head and like you just see its eyes just
like go in other directions and it just like bumps over that.
Hey, I was that sweet. It was very sweet.
Blumpkin I thought it was cool and and helvetica it's your go
helvetica is going to see pumpkin stumbled and she is
going to without a moment's hesitation.
The tation or falter run to blumpkin and she's going to cast
cure wounds. Okay.
How do you? I mean, you just do a cure
wounds as a it's just eat wine. It's not a D21, I don't know.
But I don't want to because I know sometimes you gotta give
this thing a blumpkin, you know, you just gotta be like, you know
what matters? Right now.
A blumpkin. That's what I need.
It's really pink comedy with you.
It really is ma'am. One d8. + your spell-casting
ability modifier, so it's one da, plus your wisdom.
I want to be very clear that helvetica is holding back tears,
as she tries to cure pumpkin. But what I actually mean is that
Katie is holding back tears, as she promised me Parker, bumpkin
You upset about Morgan, are you? She managed to secure pumpkin
before I was. Well, I was thinking more in
terms of tick-tock doesn't like the call this thing, isn't she?
Yep. So we doing that directly.
She's in contact with his yep. Yep.
Keep touch with you. So you're at 7:00.
Gotcha. And and with that, not like I
wasn't clear. If anything happens to blumpkin
we've Riot. Now, not will not knock on that
steps forward and and sort of like flicks his sword.
And he liked the the Frog manages to like jump out of
nothing knox's, blades. It's out of the way of it, and,
but that does her turn the frogs attention, and not the nuts.
And he's gonna attack knuckle nuts and he's Miss both times
and Tony is like tired of this and so Tony just like turns
around and like, kicks the Frog. And yeah, so to paint the the
visual picture like Tony like trots around and sort of
positions itself. So it's back end is is by this
frog and like it rears bet like Tony like rears forward.
And just proceeds to like back kick this frog so hard that you
watch as the Frog just like is launched across the room and
just splatters on to one of the cave walls.
Hey um hey have etica. How many frogs just take to
paint a wall? Don't answer.
It says how it depends on how hot dog.
He kicks it about right and and Tony Tony.
Let hell was that. There's, there's a deep breath.
Tony's like oh, you're pretty, you're in pretty rough shape,
aren't you? How are you doing?
You're both pretty rough shape? Well, I've been better but
you're not, you're not, you're not terrible.
Wow, you're pretty bad though. I'm concerned about Blanca.
Yeah, I heard about lumpy hidden 46, right?
You'll be 46 hit me for 477. Yeah yeah.
Yeah. All my old here and he like
takes his horns. Like I won't I won't make you
suck at this time and he's just like Like tab, see with it and
like this fucking thing. Thank you, I will make you gain
you gain, you gain 11 hit points.
Wow, gosh. What do I do?
Hey, Heather. I just want to make sure you
don't have one of those, right? It's just kidding.
Are you? We've talked about this, okay,
so, you're not even a corner, I'm not.
All right. I'm trying to figure out what
your whole deal is about process of elimination.
Wow. So I'm going to go ahead and
strike unicorn. Off the mental list.
Yes. However, is not a unicorn.
I'm not a unicorn. Are you one of those?
Are you a frog? No member.
I would explain why I like you so much but that would also
explain why I don't hate you now know it's I'm a tiefling attempt
as clear as it leaves around the room.
Something as as you guys continue to have this argument
you hear from the next chamber. Tea leaves.
Just echoing loudly. Just like this.
This like groaning like hey, maybe if I actually do fart, I
could talk to these things. Hello.
I did something. I would I would have this
juncture. Is that perhaps we move with a
bit more expediency? That is not get distracted by.
Oh my God, we got distracted by shiny thing.
I see what I did there and perhaps we should we should take
it upon ourselves to just move as fast as we possibly can
emeralds. Oh, the shiny thing that, oh,
yeah, that fucking thing is it the golden frog doesn't done
anything yet. No, it's just inside of Thoth.
It's just inside a building. Yeah.
So we let you literally distracted us with a shiny
thing, son of a bitch. Oh my God.
You can't see it at home, but RDM looks quite pleased with
himself. Oh yes.
All right. Well, and also for the record I
want to apologize with how many fart jokes.
I've injected into your masterful DMV again, you know,
I'll go but you know what? It's just fair play at this
point because you know, what? Chris Is entire job is in the
murder mystery to put fart jokes in the murder mystery.
So yeah. You you make you make your way
into the next room and it is me, this is a cave and and let's be
clear. This is K.
But there are some nice features gay.
There's are like the, the weird room with the door that you will
not speak too much of like clearly.
Like someone had taken some significant time in carving out
some Stone in that room too. Build this just to distract some
fucking idiots, one through it. Apparently, but in this this
room like even though it's still cave it's also it's a throne
room and it kind of look there's there's some frog hey there's
some some stuff that that's nice about it was has to yeah across
the way up a steep sort of incline of Rocky steps.
There's there's a throne in sitting on it is like just like
this gargantuan leaf. That frog that that is like and
he's like, sort of like he's got this chalice in his hand and
he's just like he just takes a long, it's trashed.
It's a drum frog. Did he toast us for a long time?
Was that what he was? Yeah, no, yeah, I mean he like
sort of like raises his come to you and goes And you just like
chugs Chums a lot from this glass, jugs.
A lot from this chalice. Well look, it looks although how
about I get standing directly next to blumpkin bucking still
looks almost straight down at you because you're that much
shorter than it's very important for me to make it clear that the
case just goes hey you want a drink analyzed over there?
Oh cuz the fucking drunk ass frog sitting on that Throne.
How about you? That's why I was insulting.
And 9/16. Once again at this, this isn't a
hard one. Um, uh, nothing.
Not to his thing is glowing again.
Even perhaps even more intensely than, uh, they're gonna add some
with, with the Fruity Pebbles and, and not on, That's goes
He's that what I think it is and and Tony.
Tony is like, yeah, I think so. And the Frog.
Like, once again, sort of like her, it's just like takes a long
swing. And here's the thing.
And, and I'm gonna like Particularly like and I'll see
you had a high perception check. So I'll just let that ride as he
takes another Swig of this. You realize that this is not a
big chalice that he's holding and yet he is drinking more
talking from it. It's a glass of drinking, lots
of, yeah, Holdings, a good glass of glass to schmeckle and yes,
the smackle and and so he he looks down at you guys and is
like, You guys going through? Gotta gotta pay the toll.
Well, first off pumpkin sees the that Insignia glowing and he
doesn't, he doesn't know that he's made the association of
that thing growing and tasty rocks, being proximal but he
immediately starts Scavenging, the ground for rocks that
perhaps taste similar and and after tasting a couple
Immediately starts just basically tasting any small
object. I think that helvetica whip
while while, while looking at the corner of his eye and
helvetica trying to make sure that she doesn't see him, even
though she very small wigs, that's very small looks if
there's subtle with, um, I think helvetica is going to turn to
Tony and say, What, what, why what's what, what's happening?
Okay in Colorado, the Indian Pony, Tony looks at you, and
like, looks the Frog came in and looks at knuckle nuts and and
Tony's, like I think, I think we need that cup and knuckle nuts
is like, yeah, I'm about to take that gum.
And right. Um, well, I also want to just
want to point out that blumpkin would do anything.
Helvetica told him to just say yes.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't but of just that's might be
useful for you. Yes.
I think helvetica sizes of the situation and she sees Tony and
just whatever and and but she realizes that.
Like in this moment this is this is like a distanced attack,
right? and so, I think, Is what is the
cup made out of? If I like set this homeboy on
fire, is the cup. Going to go to know.
It's a silver cup. Are we looking at like the cup
of a carpenter? No it's just it's like this is
so again I think that's just going to be my go-to is going to
be my poke zone of Truth tyrol. What?
I do. No Heroes Heroes.
These real drunk. I think you should have
disadvantage. No, he doesn't a disadvantage.
He Sexy but still roll. Each still takes damage.
Okay, so roll roll the damage in. 7. + 3 + 2012.
Yes. So you take 6 and at all you
know, here's a we saying he has a disadvantage.
I'm giving you this to you as a surprise round because they
sloshed like this happens and he's like rubber and and it's it
is clear that like he was not Fucking that and like he he like
immediately like gets up off his throne and starts like stumbling
down the steps toward you and like he's got in his hand.
He's got this big old like wicked-looking scepter weapon
thing. And as other hand, he's got this
cup. And as he reaches the bottom
step, he He falls and because he's drunk because he's clearly
stumbling and as he liked Falls over the The Chalice goes
sideways. And what you see is just like
like the and and like you see fluid just started gushing from
it bro. That's such a cool visual DM.
As it has it like as it like fall.
In the ground. It like just even though it's
the small cup, it just like a constant flow of liquid starts
pouring from it. And he quickly, you know, let's
be clear. He quickly like gets his feet
under him and he like lifts the cup up and like balances it and
it stops you know it stops flowing but he like sort of like
one cup in one hand and his scepter Didn't you of the other?
He's like, hmm. Gonna have to pay the toll and
roll initiative. Would you say that?
It's a troll toll, that's pay the troll toll.
If you want to get in that boys hole, we're getting less than
eleven six because there's a line on the bottom of my telling
you this because I always thought it was the other way.
I thought that was the nine that signifies Bottom.
Well, I was today years old. It is actually Tony that goes
first, um, and the the like he like sees what all's going down
and he's like Well, fuck it and like charges in and proceeds to
attack this gargantuan drunky polliwog wolf.
So like as it goes in for its attack.
It's like a horn like makes like solid contact and like,
definitely like Pushes the bollywood's back and the
Bollywood takes out a hard hit, but as it like wood, as Tony
would be, like, preparing to like stomp on him afterwards, he
likes lips in the like liquid. That is Spilled Out on the
ground and sort of like hands of like.
Yeah, Tony's Tony's like slipping around just like a
unicorn just not able to get into is like we're well back up.
Yeah, that sort of thing. Actually full know.
He's he doesn't have his footing.
So until further notice, that's what's happening.
Yep, that was Tony in the then. Next up is going to be blumpkin.
It's up to you. All right?
Blumpkin, or dysfunction do Blumpkin.
All right, so wait, so what's the total of the totality of
what's Happening here. So we have Tony's slipping on
the fluid after running up to try to gore.
Yeah. Who still insisting that?
We pay the toll, right? Yeah.
And let's be clear, I think has the way he is fostering.
The toll is, you know, at the particularly at this point since
you have attacked him this is the toll is a metaphorical toll.
It is What if just about to be like?
Has anybody asked what the toll is?
Because maybe it's just like a rock.
Oh I got plenty of those in my in my mouth.
No you ate them. All I was thinking after the
first to swallow every single I'm like a chicken and stuff or
or in terms for the tracks also, swallowed, walks rocks, tell the
digest things in the stomach's, who smashes them up.
Those aren't, we can either ask for the toes, or we could just
not guys drunk. I'm just And it'll be like all
right. Fuck you.
I'm taking that cup and we're going to.
We're going to fuck all the way off.
Yeah. You do that to do.
That would be just take this cup.
All right now can take the cops well it's mine.
Well do you can she yelled Lumpkin?
Take the cup. Yeah you can you can certainly
yell that and it is your action, you can try to take it.
Oh there you go. Um but it is gonna be a
contested string type check. Okay?
If you do that That so very strong.
Hell are you yell? Yeah, I think I'm better cut
like looks at the situation. Just like Jesus fucking Christ
on board and then she's like, blonde kid, get the cup.
So we can go try to put some pumpkin.
You know why? She was Richard Dory Widow
again, but here we are. Yeah, blumpkin looks over at
helvetica and his eyes widened and as he hears her, he quickly
shoves a couple more pebbles in his mouth like a chipmunk and go
home. Whoa.
And sort of sort of gunders over with, with, with, with intention
with intent, over to this drug frog and attempts to take the
cup. And as he does as on his way,
over rocks are sort of falling out of his mouth.
He forgot he had in there. This case, Rowley role of
strength check. So it's just roll plus your
strength. As a state.
Okay, here's here's the thing. And you gotta understand this
guy's a fucking frog. And so as you like and he's,
he's got both that like both that like strength and sort of
like squirrel Enos of a really drunk frog 1.
Plus he's probably will he's like as a really drunk person.
Plus he's a frog. So he's slippery like his skin
is literally. You sort of oily.
And so like, as you like, try to Grapple and to get this cup
away, he's both like is like, like he's got that, like,
jellyfish shorter drunkenness. Like an oil band as a.
It's a frog. He's even.
Yeah, yeah, it's bad. Like, he manages to slip away,
prevent that slip away, fairly loving, blumpkin goes, becomes
enamored with the weird tackiness and slipperiness of
the stuff that snow covering him.
And and and yeah, I mean, you get sweaty like, you Get a bunch
of this stuff on him. Let's see.
Like the baguettes on me. You big it gets on your fingers.
That's nasty. Hey, hey!
Hey! You got something on you and he
walks over and just smears. A bunch of it right now but it
gets cheek and then and then laughs like this.
Ha ha ha. Yep.
So I just can't. He goes ha ha ha ha.
It is now knuckle that's his turn and nuts.
That is just does not have any care for this nonsense and he
pulls his longsword and set of Moves In Front ack, fucking guy,
as long as you are, I'm telling you, how does even hold it, you
hold it like a plan and as knuckle nuts, like sort of like
goes for the attack, this bully wug is.
I mean he's squirrelly, this is a squirrely bully would look
like it's it's like some Drunken Master shit like he just as sort
of like me. Whoa, like manages to, to get
out of the way of knuckle nuts is attacks and and starts
licking all the stuff that's that failed.
It is now the king bully Wilkes turn and he is going to start by
like just sort of like looking and knuckle nuts.
And just like I mean he's a bit. This is this is this bully bug
is significantly larger than Other ones that you've
encountered and it just like takes its jaw and basically like
unhinge is it and tries to like, try to basically eat knuckle
nuts. Fuck that guy, I'm soap want
this and put it. It like it, like, he like goes
up and goes over and like tries to Encompass and falls on his
face. And once again, the cup hits the
floor and starts overflowing and, and spilling out all over
the place. And And the Frog like lift
himself up and as he loves himself out, he like takes his
staff and he swings at you blumpkin.
That's a cool and he does hit with that in his drunken sort of
messiness. And um it like simultaneously
like it hits you and then you you realize that this weird
staff is Like this weird scepter that he's got as he like hits
you with it. It like has like a pincher to it
that grabs you and suddenly you're and his grip and you take
five damage. Oh um, oh wait a minute.
I forgot to write down all the stuff that happened with the
Unicorn heal this 411, right? Yes, you did.
But I forgot to write it down, that's time.
It's eleven clashing. Cool.
I'm fine. He's like I got it now well.
So I also want to point out that our motivation is not to get
this cop. That's what Michael not said.
We need to do for Tony Armored Division, is not that what is
our motivation right now? Our motivation was to live.
What are we supposed to get to knuckle nuts to a place of you
would pay us? Yes, that was our original
matches. The original goal, Chris, were
you trying to get us to forget what our original goal so that
we would fuck around? God damn it, right?
It is back to Tony's turn and Tony like hats.
Oh no it is your turn sorry yeah you were correct.
So alright I think in this moment, helvetica, realize is
that not only does she have no patience before she also has no
motivation for drunkenness and debauchery.
Okay straight-laced? And she's just done.
And then the couple all of that King drunk frog has started
fucking with her blumpkin. And she is having none, none of
that. None of that is roll.
Fuck with someone's Plunkett, and so, helvetica.
Very briefly takes moment to take her holy symbol and she
takes to Cleansing breath and she places her hands together
and she casts burning hand directed at the Frog.
Probably looking. Yes, whoops.
That's 4 + 7 + 24/7 and 2013. So yeah, that's that's pretty
good. Hit a police box with my blog
like he's like he doesn't like the light and in fact, it throws
them for such a loop that he liked.
He releases the step that is holding pumpkin.
Yeah, the blunkett is free reading time, lumpkins really
like it's Tony's turn toad. He manages to get his feet back
under him, which is enough of an effort that he, he doesn't
really get an action, this turn. But he's back on his feet and
he's sort of solidifies himself who get back offices and it is
blumpkins turrets. Yeah, well, concern, concern,
cool. Then I take certainly take
Stephen, the great acts out and go into a rage.
Yep, I'm not in any that happened a couple room.
You know, I'm not. Yep.
You when you yeah you're not in and it's been so cool.
So I go into a rage, pull out Stephen the great Axe and sort
of well I basically take a double-handed thing and just try
to try to hack the polliwog king in half.
Yep. Just straight down the center.
Like, if you were to hold a Subway sandwich labor.
Yep. And just let it fall, apart
rolling-attack roll, and then let all the ham.
Fall out, 89 for all your damage, that's a healthy hit.
And as you hit that the the chat like you hit him hard enough
that he like sort of like Skeeters and stumbles hard and
the Chalice goes flying out of his hands, which is it's means
liquid good everywhere, right? That's not why we're here.
Well here's here's the thing, here's the thing.
I mean you don't hardly it's but a couple things you don't see a
path out of this room. You need to get through this
cave and Island CI, The Way Forward, maybe it's in the car
and then the second thing is absolutely while like good news,
the cup is no longer in his hand, bad news as it clatters
across the floor, it just starts like spilling out voluminously
and it It starts flowing and flowing and like what it's not
long before, like there's a solid, like, pool of water
across. Like, you know, like it's like
just to your toes. It first?
No, it is. And let's be clear.
It is a sickly sweet, honey. Mead that pretty much smells
disgusting to everyone but maybe blumpkin, very specific about
that. Smells disgusting.
We're not the Rocks, the Rocks, taste different to everybody.
Nothing smells terrible to everybody except me.
Is this like a mirror of erised said so it's just a really
shitty. It's just a really shitty Mead.
Okay so well - like to shitty Mead and yeah as a half work
like like this is something that I have Fork would or that Orcs
would drink like Orcs And bollywood's would drink and so
you're like you're used to it but it's far too disgusting like
for anyone else, okay? So first off, nothing closed
behind us. So we can just leave just saying
if our motivation is to not die, just leave that's super boring
but like that's what I'm here for motivation, is that that
that was Blum, concern is nothing, not stir, no, she
didn't do anything and you didn't you attack the like
totally forgot. That's responds.
I'm like.he like disengages from the bully Wolfgang and he just
like Sprint over and like grabs the cup and turns it up, right?
And that is his action per turn. Scribble says, helvetica has a
refined palate, King polliwog. Thank scribble.
Scribble is like you took my cup and he proceeds to try and
Right? You are and he succeeds and you
take for damage from the son of a bitch.
And then he sort of like bites you and then like lifts a frog
foot and kicks you back. And then he like uses his
propulsion to that to LEAP towards the.
The do I do a flying leap towards knuckle nuts.
To get us, cut back. But in the process of doing that
move, like I'm like imagine that like it's like he tried to do
like a kickflip like a, like a phone, like a, like a Ms in a
pool or something like he was he was using you to like Propel
himself forward and so he goes leaping across the room and you
stumble back when he does this. It's not, it's not hard and it's
too but he liked. He goes flying towards knuckle
nuts. But again, because he is slime.
He just like hits the ground hard, like, like, he just he
overshoots hard. Like he just flies over knuckle
nuts, head, knuckle nuts. Like what and like hits the
ground hard and like, just sort of face plans.
And it is held that it has turned, right?
I think helvetica is had quite enough of this.
Men's nonsense and so helvetica is just going to Jesus really
going to leave into that. Radiance of the dog.
She's pretty excited. Sure level to yep.
And so yeah, I think she's going to radians of the down again.
Here we go. Big money.
Okay.
Roll your down. That's a 9.
Yes, that is on the bottom. Yes.
Thank you. + 10 + 2. So not 21.
Is that math did that math 9 plus 10 plus A2?
Yes, 21 came out. Nice.
Remove the bully. Walk is like getting up off of
like getting up off the ground like getting its feet under it
and it like takes a stumbling step towards nuckle nocks.
It is like, mmm. And then explodes.
I was gonna kill this fucking frog.
Oh my God. And yeah, Duncan Duncan just
wherever he is. Just yells in the room.
Hey, fuck you from and that's it and so it was about to change so
that that done don't go. Nuts takes a like long moment
with this cup, sort of like studying it for a little bit
before. Like he like very carefully
produces from from his cup of Holding like a, it's like a
Contigo lid like it. What lid like, it's like, the
sort of live that you put on. You have to parse a bob, pulls
out something like that, and he just like, like, very carefully
Clips. It, like, puts it on the top and
then locks it, shut and then like stuff that into his bag of
holding. The bully.
What? King defeated arrest soon.
Travel through the notch neck. Mine is fairly uneventful.
Once you are out in the open, you take the time to rest and
complete the journey to marshmallows marshmallows is
larger than both, the Animus, but has made similar to remote
by its environment. That's its name, suggests is
still a City built upon a large sprawling Marsh, much of the
land is swamp or swamp like, and while there is some Solid
Ground, many buildings and businesses.
Built on Stilton or floats, houseboats are common and travel
into a out and around town courses, on a complete complex,
series of rafts and fairies nothing, that's all for you, all
and Tony to come join him at his home, where he will pay you for
your journey and discuss further opportunities.
Okay, well, there's a merchant here.
I would like to be the merchant Merchant of Venice or 10
minutes. Oh real nice was actually
several people. It wasn't one person.
I'm going to several different people.
I'm going to hit you in your face.
So nothing that's about is like small and like fairly
comfortable for an OHM, which makes it may be a little tight
for both a half work and a few flying.
And literally like Tony. Is like outside like sort of
like precariously on like the raft that he used to get you
here like literally with his, like head sticking in a window.
But he's got like a little drink like in front of them as like a
little straw that he's the Tony is like sucking on, um, and not
go nuts, like sits you down and he like, like, offers UT like,
what's your favorite? What's your favorite drink?
Oh, I feel like I feel like helvetica is like really into
like hot top. He's like accessories music?
Yeah. Toddy up.
Without you telling him that, that's what he serves you.
Oh. And what's your favorite drink?
Just this well Round Up rocks but his favorite drink is
basically just a warm Grodd. That's that, isn't that again,
without, without you telling him that he serves, you that.
Wow. And none of that sort of like
sits down with his own tea and as tone is and and in like
there's an awkward silence except for in the tub in the
corner you can just hear like Tony like so how is Tony
drinking Tony is Liz? Is he who bet?
He just kind of like there's a strong, there's a strong, okay?
It's his lips and there's a strong knuckle nuts, like sort
of like something for a moment goes.
I may not have been fully honest with you both.
Yeah. You think your refrigerator
looking ass bitch with your glowing tattoo and all that?
A nice taste and rocks. By the way, do you have any more
of those rocks? What?
I like I found like two or three.
Will you put this in your mouth? Real quick.
Stop cannot. I'll put it in my mouth hole
right? Well I understand you may have
any questions. I will start by saying I you I
did not hire you to take me home.
I hired you to bring you with me so I might help you remember.
Remember what wait, I don't remember most things I'm pretty
used to that, but do you give us a fucking money at other way?
Where are you giving us the money after we remember?
I don't think I can, I think this is a matter of more nuanced
than that. I know what, what if it's like,
sort of like, takes a sip of his tea and and he's like, I
understand you want your money. I We'll give you that and more.
And he like turns and he like collects a couple of days.
He turns into this bag of holding any like pulls out some
more gold and then he like pulls out something else.
What is it? And he hands it both both to you
and it's to Badges and they both have that same symbol on it.
And he goes these already yours. Is this a void fish?
Have we been void fished? Hey to those who don't know what
avoid fizzers do not, do not know what that is.
All right, we wait. What, what?
What awesome did you avoid, vicious?
You motherfucker did weight back and we do not have a good
gathers himself and gets back in character because you got very
excited for a second. And she says, What are?
These are your badges? A what for what?
What are these? You and I are.
Armed agents of the anomaly detective hunters and the
commissioners. But why don't you man?
And I at that Tony in the background go oud commission is
now is that what you are and and not going that sort of like
bristles up a little bit. And and is like we do not.
Knock on nuts. Does not operate like the old
ways and I don't understand weird.
Part of an organization that we are unaware of.
What? What, how, what why?
Yeah, whether we normally. But did you checked every we do
not understand what happened to you, but what happened to him
know that you were investigating?
A major anomaly. What what?
Something happened. And you disappeared, we
disappear to have one just disappear.
And I've helvetica is like, very helvetica is like you like how
that it gets so like straight-laced.
And like you said like babysitting Bumpkin.
But she is like not used to moments where like Make sense.
And she's like, she's like, genuine, nominally detecting
Huntington, an anomaly detectives Hunters, D
Commissioners. And it's but helvetica is like,
is she's like, genuinely, like struggling to like accept all of
this because she's like, this is, this is all she has no idea
what your and and and knuckle nuts, like sort of like takes
another step and Heat. Like, puts his hands together
and he has to think for a moment.
And he so you're saying he says, in our world, there are
Anomalies. All right, what sort of
anomalies will? For example, Fruity Pebbles,
three zones. That tastes like fruit should
not be. But they are right when you see
become an anomaly is a what? We consider a true neutral
anomaly. Can Do no harm and post, no
harm, but he's anomaly is, is something amiss and similarly,
is chalice, chalice is one we have looked for for sometime
called, we call it the ever flowing chalice We consider it
to be chaotic neutral in that it has properties, that are
chaotic, but can be neutralized if necessary.
Hmm, so it will have Erica. Do you remember the time has
volcano? You remember that 10?
Remember the term helvetica? Remember how, when we met
before? And I'm going to say this and
this is this is your Going to your you start talking about
that? And the more you try to put
together that time, the volcano. Like you keep talking about
these in a reason the volcano but then you like, you realize
that it's all just really abstract who like you don't.
Click. You remember the volcano?
You're sure you remember that volcano?
But God do not know what happened.
What do you remember? The volcano we were there.
We were definitely there. Yes, yeah.
And then we were together. I remember that.
There was a moment when everything was sort of red and
it was loud. And is that where we met?
Is that for that, what we measure is that where I was born
and die, blumpkin steps back and just sort of looked at his
hands. It looks good.
Sounds and looks at his hands and His Hands.
Start to shake and he puts them over his mouth and he goes.
The volcano, the volcano. I remember the volcano and
Michael nuts, Knuckles. It's it's it's hard to explain
everything, but what you need know is anomalies all around us,
some are objects, some are Things, living things physical
things. Some are places.
Anomalies good, some anomalies bad but and and Tony speaks up
and says some anomalies are just neutral evil.
What can I say? But what does this have to do
with all of us? This is this is this is this is
more than what love can't. Let me, my blumpkin starts
walking around and starts poking things as if to test them to see
and and nuckle nocks. Nothing Including everybody in
current company, write an algorithm their noses, all the
time. In the news I am and knuckle not
sort of like like, is he's clearly struggling because he he
doesn't know how to explain the full.
He doesn't know what happened to you all right?
And to anybody struggling to, to explain the full weight of of
what is, what what how the world is.
So and the, the like this, this is like, True nature of the
world stuff. You're saying a little you're
peeking behind the veil and but, okay, of course, that is
difficult but but but alright, helvetica takes off her glasses
and she pinches the first Bridge of her nose, because that's what
she's doing in real life, as well.
So, so you're saying that will wrap all around us duel times.
There are things that are wrong or not, quite right?
Yes, No. Yes, and this organization has
classified. These are not anomalies you call
them anomalies. Yes, into categories, such as
what did you say neutral evil chaotic, neutral classified them
Tony, Tony Tony speaks up and says they classified me.
Tony Talking, Unicorn neutral, evil, Tony.
Well that's bills that I've been at Lumpkin.
Looks at how that got in sort of wings because he knows how he'll
impressive. What he's about to do.
With says, well, that's fails to Nay, actually, that doesn't
spill total and Tony's like tune is a stupid fucking name.
My name is Tony. All right?
Your name it, that's that's fine.
So do we have a classification? Yeah Duncan leans over and
Whispers terrifyingly. Am I an anomaly?
Are you an anomaly are not anomalies will give you some
agents like me. Wait ization that we are unaware
of and do not remember being participant self.
It is complicated. What we?
What do not know what what was the last nobly that?
What how did this happen? He fucking stress.
And, and, and and he takes, he takes a deep breath and he wants
to try and, like, make you understand anything?
You are agents of, we are agents of neutrality division.
We You've traveled any division, we see to read maintain balance
and protect World from anomalies wait so hold on.
I gotta ask real quick if we're these agents of the know not
only the division be things. What?
Why hold on Hold on. What why did why hold on quack?
Why is it that iyy? Feel like why I would do?
I would feel like I would know something like that.
How about I could you remember to?
Because I feel like, I remember being a goddamn lung cancer,
it's getting good. Oui oui?
Why would I do number? We do not know like and
stuttering. What, what were we After after
after I don't know how to say that if I was some sort of some
sort of agent of an anomaly division that I whenever you pay
me to do what was I doing out there to understand?
You must understand, but truth. Haven Loft.
Oh well, I will show you stand. You think you you finish your
drinks and we just got to finish.
Welcome nuts. Guides his raft deeper into the
recesses of the swamp surrounding the marsh Hollows.
I mean, it now steam Rising steadily as the mud Bubbles and
boils finally. The raft comes to a rest on a
thin patch of Terra Firma, a gently kept path leading away
from the swamp engine to the woods surrounding it.
You can see light ahead as the trees are thinning and you can
see the Open Sky Beyond. Tony is taking up the rear
chattering. Yeah.
Is telling some strange perverse story that might be a joke or
might be a personal experience. So then I looked at the Gob and
said if you're not gonna take her to bed I will he doesn't
actually get it. He slaps fucking lightly on the
shoulder. What the fuck did he just say
before you can laugh? Nothing about suddenly spreads,
his thick arms wide, catching you all before.
You can take another step, it takes you in a moment to process
what is happening? You listen for the sound of
footsteps. You look for something circling
overhead, but there is nothing nothing, but beautiful, blue
skies, full of puffy, white clouds, trees, grown fat, and,
and toll of the rich nutrition of the surrounding swap.
And look. Down.
Welcome, except we love. We love, we love down.
I'm freaking out and you do It takes you a moment to understand
was having to truly see. They are so hot now that it
burns your eyes but you blink and you're still looking down
and now you're starting to see you look down, past the edge of
the continent that ends, just a step away.
You blink again and you're looking down hundreds of feet
through Steam and clouds and Open Sky.
You blink and you're looking down and see a world, the real
world with sprawling continents and swollen.
See, fuck out of here and you blink and you're looking down
and you see it, the gargantuan gaping maw of the volcano below.
I know, right? That that reveal though, right?
Oh man, it's so good. It's so good.
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