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At the moment, as a church, 
we're in a little bit of a 

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transition period because we 
just finished our last preaching

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series. 
We were doing doing the stuff 

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and we're about to move into the
new series and thought what a 

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great opportunity to be able to 
just pause and put a spotlight 

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on a specific thing in the 
church that actually makes our 

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church a family. 
And that's our small groups. 

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And so Phil and I, many of you 
will know and if you don't know,

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we planted this church 7 years 
ago and there was me, Phil and 

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Elsie taking communion in our 
front lounge wondering who the 

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heck was going to join such a 
crazy church. 

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But it has grown and God has 
done incredible things, and 

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there are people who have come 
and they have gone, and at the 

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same time there are people who 
have come and stayed and new 

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people keep joining us all the 
time. 

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But there's a danger in the 
growing church that we can start

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to feel like this big crowd of 
people rather than like this 

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nice family or this household. 
And it's quite easy to come in 

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to enjoy the coffee, enjoy the 
doughnuts, enjoy the worship, 

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and then just kind of run off 
for your Sunday lunch and not 

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really get to know people. 
So right from the very off, Phil

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and I, we, we knew we were 
called to build a relationship 

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building church and not to be a 
collection of strangers, but to 

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be a family. 
And it is in the church world, a

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bold word to use because it's 
been misused over a number of 

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years. 
But really today what we want to

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talk about is moving like from 
the foyer into living rooms. 

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And to help us to do that, we 
have asked our small group 

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leaders to come and join us on 
the stage. 

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So if you guys wouldn't mind 
popping up and grabbing a 

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microphone. 
Yeah, you have been, of course. 

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Good, yeah. 
Absolutely. 

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Yeah, these are the people who 
open their homes week after week

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after week, and they make sure 
that nobody walks the journey of

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faith on their own. 
And so we really want to hear 

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from them today. 
So while these guys are taking 

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the seat, just just a kind of 
background overview. 

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When we look at the early church
in the book of Acts, we see a 

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very clear rhythm because in 
Acts 246 to 47, it says every 

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day they continued to meet 
together in the temple courts. 

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They broke bread in their homes 
and ate together with glad and 

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sincere hearts, praising God and
enjoying the favour of all the 

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people. 
You know, there was the temple 

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in Acts, there was this big 
gathering that and they also had

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homes. 
And if you only have the big 

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gathering, you've got 
inspiration but very little 

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application because it's in the 
home where the one another's of 

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scripture actually happen. 
We look at Nehemiah and when 

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everything came together and the
wall was rebuilt, they were 

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together one another and one 
another. 

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And to be honest, you can't bear
one another's burdens while 

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looking at the back of someone's
head in a row of chairs. 

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You know that happens across the
coffee table. 

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So we are actually going to 
question our wonderful small 

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group leaders and they know a 
few of the questions. 

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We're going to throw a few 
slammers in there as well just 

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to keep it moving. 
They're really difficult ones 

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and so there's people in how I 
know that have got no idea who 

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any of you are. 
So let's start the far end. 

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Will you guys quickly just 
introduce yourselves and just 

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let us know whereabouts in town 
your small group is please? 

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I'm Andrew and this is my wife 
Jill, and we run the West End 

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Small Group, which is down on 
Grange Road in the southwest of 

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Darlington. 
I'm Pam, Trevor's at home in 

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bed, he's poorly full coats to 
pray for him. 

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So we run our Home group in 
Herworth Moor. 

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So that's opposite the Tawny 
Owl, if anybody knows where that

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is. 
My name is Dylan, this is Jazz 

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and we run a small group out of 
South Park, Skurn Park, 

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whatever. 
I'm Tabby, this is Jordan, and 

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we run a small group in Horton. 
And so I don't know about you 

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guys who've all been in small 
groups before. 

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It can be a bit weird, can't it?
Yeah. 

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I remember our first experience 
going to someone's living room. 

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You know, we were kind of asking
the questions around faith, and 

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then somebody sat in front of us
and went back to us on the piano

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playing some worship, and anyone
started singing. 

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And it was the most bizarre, 
weird, freaked me out. 

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Never went to go back. 
Experience we've ever had. 

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It sometimes doesn't change, but
for you guys, what was your 

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first experience as a small 
group? 

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Doesn't have to be in the 
Vineyard, you know. 

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What were those feelings of 
first walking to a stranger's 

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lounge? 
So I actually got invited to a 

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small group before I got invited
to church. 

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So I went into a small group 
before I went into a church and 

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it actually wasn't in someone's 
lounge. 

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It was in the upstairs of a 
Costa because it was a student 

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small group. 
And that was how it got sold to 

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me is like they will get you 
free Costa But it was the same 

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principle of the some I walked 
in and everyone else knew each 

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other and it was the start of 
September of a new year of 

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university. 
But I was the only new person. 

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And everyone was like doing the 
like, oh, we haven't seen each 

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other from the summer and and 
knew each other, but they were 

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like so in each other's lives. 
And then someone sat down with a

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piano with their back to me. 
And I was like, I don't know any

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of these songs. 
I don't know any of these 

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people. 
This is exactly the levels of 

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weird I thought these people 
were when they invited me. 

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Great. 
Yeah, still. 

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So the first, I was in the 
church and then eventually got 

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dragged into a small group, but 
I'm a pastor at the time in 

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South Africa. 
He sort of said let's meet up 

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for a coffee on Wednesday at his
house. 

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He didn't say he was running a 
small group. 

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And so I walked in and it was 60
people. 

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It was not exactly very small. 
Luckily I'm extroverted, so it 

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was all right. 
Oh, my first experience was 53 

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years ago because I'm very old. 
So yeah, my first small group 

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was as a teenager. 
We used to do church, and then 

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our small group was on a Sunday 
night at 8:00. 

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And we would go back and eat and
talk and sing. 

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And so by the time I'd had a 
Sunday morning service, a Sunday

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evening service, and then we had
another sermon at 8:00 at night.

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So it was really good. 
But in terms of biblical 

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teaching, biblical integrity, 
and all of that kept from being 

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a really young age. 
And I can tell you now that I 

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still have friendships with 
people that were in that small 

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group when I was 15. 
So that's over 53 years ago. 

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We're still friends. 
So my first experience as a 

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small group was actually down in
Eastbourne in Sussex, where we 

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used to live. 
And it was in a couple's home 

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that had young children. 
And the lady who was the wife of

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the group used to cut off 9:30 
every night. 

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She'd be like, right, I'm off to
bed now because I've got school 

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work at the hospital tomorrow. 
But we'd, we'd have some really 

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intense discussions just about 
life and about what makes people

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tick and looking at the Bible 
and just chewing the fat, as we 

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say. 
And it was really good because 

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they always made you feel really
welcome and really homely. 

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And then when we moved back up 
here, we went to Pam and 

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Trevor's small group and I felt 
completely overwhelmed because 

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they started playing music and 
worshipping and I didn't quite 

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know what to do, where to put 
myself. 

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But you could feel the Holy 
Spirit in the room and it was 

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like having a big duvet wrapped 
around you. 

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So I think we can barely say 
that joining a small group for 

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the first time, it's a very 
strange experience, especially 

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if you're new to faith. 
And I think we would all sit 

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here and agree. 
And we know how difficult it is 

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to come for the first time. 
But with that in mind for you 

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guys, what does this look like 
from going from those first 

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groups to what you guys are 
doing now? 

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You're leading small groups in 
different contexts. 

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You all have different style. 
What does breaking bread, if you

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like, look like in your small 
group? 

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You know, how how is this 
impacting your faith as small 

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group leaders with what you're 
seeing? 

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Can you give us a little bit? 
And now, let's start with jazz. 

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Right, OK. 
Well, it's a bit linear, isn't? 

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It no. 
So we, we kind of work really 

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late to be honest. 
And so we breaking bread for us 

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looks more like all of our small
group members coming in for 

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7:00. 
But we just have snacks in front

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and we have about half an hour 
of catching up and we always 

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make sure that we check on each 
other and then we kind of 

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discuss what was happened during
the day and, and all of that. 

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And I think from the get go of 
joining small group, it's always

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been a place of a place for for 
us to just be ourselves and to 

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just for us to come with other 
people to tell them what 

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actually what we've been going 
through. 

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And so we've seen quite a lot of
people share with us what 

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they're going through and the 
fact that they've been so 

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encouraged to get prayed for. 
And that's that's the thing. 

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We, we always, always end with 
about half an hour of prayer and

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making sure every single person 
is covered and that someone is 

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covering them in prayer as well 
afterwards. 

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That's been really impactful for
for us and that for me as as as 

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someone who's been coming to 
church actually started at you 

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guys as so good. 
Phil Elisa's. 

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It's been the thing that we've 
always wanted is to always make 

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sure that whatever that you 
don't have to go through life 

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alone and that there's always 
something that we're if we have 

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anything to go through, whatever
it is, we are celebrating with 

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you with joy and we will be with
you in in the sorrows because 

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that's what Jesus said. 
And so that's what also my small

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group leaders beforehand as well
have, have, have embodied and 

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have shown us. 
And so that is never changed in 

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our small group. 
And also when we also have 

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little bits of times when we're 
a bit tired, don't really want 

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to lead, we could also feel that
in the room and we just sit 

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there and chat. 
We sit there and just, you know 

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what? 
We, we've, we've got something 

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planned. 
But actually, you know what, 

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let's just sit and and for 
people to just kind of voice 

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what they're going through and 
because that's just the kind of 

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the the place that we want to 
really win it. 

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Awesome. 
Thanks, Jess. 

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Pam. 
Yeah. 

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So I suppose for Trevor and 
Icus, we're at the kind of stage

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of life really where, you know, 
we've, we've done this in, in 

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all the stages of our marriage 
and our raising children and 

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grandchildren and so on. 
I think for us, community is 

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really, really important. 
And at whatever stage of life 

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you're in, it's important to be 
part of a community that grounds

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you, that kind of helps you to 
feel safe and secure. 

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I suppose what we say is we do 
life with people. 

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So we eat together, we do break 
bread together in terms of 

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community and we worship 
together. 

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We pray for one another. 
We try and encourage people to 

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be real and open and honest 
about what is happening, for 

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them to take an interest in one 
another, to listen as much as 

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talk and all of those kind of 
basic things. 

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I think what probably the thing 
to say, and I was really 

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impacted by this this morning, 
is that in church, I've seen so 

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many people come through church.
They don't connect into a small 

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group. 
They do get hurt, they do get 

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upset, they leave. 
Hopefully they'll go to a 

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different church. 
Sometimes they stop going to 

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church altogether. 
And the sadness of that is, is 

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not understanding that actually 
as human beings, when we do life

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together, there is the vial and 
the precious, there's the salt 

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water and the sweet. 
And what we have to do is to 

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bear with one another and to 
develop one another and to be 

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kind to one another, to be 
gracious with one another, to 

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forgive one another because it's
hard. 

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00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:18,040
I mean, actually, you know, life
in 21st century Western, you 

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know, Britain is, is not easy, 
but we're called to obedience to

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the biblical principles that 
Jesus gave us. 

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And somehow we have to hold one 
another to account in love for 

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those things. 
And I think small group is the 

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best way for that to happen. 
Great. 

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00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:42,360
Thank you. 
So our our, our small groups 

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00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,120
brought earlier today new. 
So we haven't gone through the 

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00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,960
whole cycle of events in the 
year and we've been studying the

227
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,840
emotionally healthy spirituality
course. 

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00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,240
So we haven't done any, any sort
of bring and share meals or we 

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00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,520
haven't done the BBQ or anything
yet. 

230
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,680
But we will be getting around to
doing that sort of thing as the 

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00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:03,600
group develops. 
But the most important thing in 

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00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,240
our small group, I think is a 
proper brew to start with. 

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00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,160
So if you come to, if you come 
to our group, you'll get a, 

234
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,760
you'll get a mug of Yorkshire 
tea whether you like it or not. 

235
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:16,360
And there'll be biscuits and 
there'll be cake. 

236
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:25,720
And we, we just, we're just, you
know, we, we don't, we get a. 

237
00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:29,080
Lot of that as well. 
We don't, we don't, we don't 

238
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,240
sort of hide any of The Dirty 
pots or anything. 

239
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,200
It literally is just as you 
know, as you'd find us. 

240
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:39,760
So we're not, we're not out to, 
to make you, you know, make us 

241
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:42,840
appear something that we're not.
So that's, that's who we are. 

242
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:45,160
I think Jill wants to say 
something. 

243
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:48,120
Jill, feel free to add. 
No, I think he's summed up 

244
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,520
really. 
We're still sort of very much in

245
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,120
the infant stages of being small
group. 

246
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,520
So developing more prayer time 
and and things like that. 

247
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:03,440
We, we do need to develop that. 
But I think as a group, we've 

248
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,320
got a lot of wise people in our 
small group and it's good. 

249
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,440
I think we're going to learn a 
lot from each other. 

250
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,080
Great. 
Jordan. 

251
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,160
So for our group, no one's going
to play the piano at you, so 

252
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,880
don't worry about that. 
But Breaking Bad for us looks 

253
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:22,800
like having a meal together all 
squashed around Tabby's dining 

254
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,040
table, like 16 of us sometimes 
just having a good conversation,

255
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,400
having a good laugh together, 
getting to know each other more.

256
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,760
And then we go into some more in
depth Bible study, really get to

257
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,680
know the word of God together, 
and we always end in prayer and 

258
00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,640
great fellowship and community. 
Awesome. 

259
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,440
I do have to say that some of 
the funniest stories that we 

260
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:46,160
hear do come out of your group. 
There's some of the games these 

261
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,360
guys get up to. 
You know, if there was a line, I

262
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:53,520
think these guys push it. 
Anyway, shall we say that's a 

263
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,320
nice segue. 
I think Andrew kind of summed it

264
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:57,160
up. 
The small groups. 

265
00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,480
There's this myth that it's 
always like 6 people in a 

266
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:05,160
perfectly tidy room having a 
polite theological discussion. 

267
00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:09,120
But if we're being honest, you 
know, leadership is a sacrifice 

268
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,320
and it's a sacrifice of time, 
It's a sacrifice of space, it's 

269
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,000
a sacrifice of your sanctuary, 
your home. 

270
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,720
And, and actually it's a 
sacrifice of your own comfort 

271
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,920
actually. 
And real community is messy. 

272
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,480
It involves struggles. 
It's got different personalities

273
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:27,800
and occasionally even the odd 
argument. 

274
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,800
But I think also Pam summed that
up really well that we bear with

275
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,040
one another and it's God that is
refining us. 

276
00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,120
And we as we're looking to go 
from glory to glory to glory. 

277
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,040
But it's also leading a group 
isn't about having all the 

278
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,480
answers. 
Jill was saying, you know, we 

279
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:46,200
learn from one another. 
It's not about having the 

280
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,120
perfect house. 
It's actually being willing not 

281
00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:51,360
just to open your front door, 
but to open the whole of your 

282
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,880
life. 
And this is a vulnerability that

283
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,560
all of us feel. 
We open up our our vulnerable 

284
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,840
spaces so that people can 
actually come into that in an 

285
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,760
authentic environment and 
actually belong. 

286
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:06,800
And, you know, in this church, 
our small group leaders are not 

287
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,600
expected to be the Bible 
teachers. 

288
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,080
They're expected to be Kingdom 
facilitators. 

289
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,200
And that is a very different 
thing. 

290
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:17,320
That is where we become family. 
And we always say in a vineyard,

291
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,160
come as you are, but allow the 
Holy Spirit to change you. 

292
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,920
And as we invest in 
relationships with one another, 

293
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,640
this just kind of happens. 
And it's all it's a because 

294
00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,960
we're in a vulnerable space. 
The Holy Spirit gets that, you 

295
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,040
know, gets our attention, that 
quiet whisper. 

296
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:36,720
So some folks have been leading 
small groups longer than others.

297
00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,080
And one of the questions that I 
wanted to put to you is can you 

298
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,040
share a time when leading was 
actually quite difficult? 

299
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,640
You know, maybe there was a 
struggle of friction and how did

300
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,480
you navigate that while actually
just keeping the the small group

301
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,480
together and anyone will take 
it? 

302
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:57,760
So for a while when I was 
travelling across the country 

303
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,840
for work, it would mean I'd get 
home. 

304
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,920
So I'd needed to go to office. 
I'd get home just before 7 

305
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:07,839
before small group, maybe 2-3 
minutes. 

306
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,800
They would attend small group 
and everyone would know at half 

307
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,599
nine I would say I'm shooting 
back and I would jump and drive 

308
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,800
all the way back to Manchester 
or back to Hull. 

309
00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:25,839
That was, that was quite tense. 
We've, we've had some heated 

310
00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,080
discussions in our small groups 
and, and my experience in the 

311
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:33,240
past and generally it's, it's 
God that's really interesting 

312
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,880
and, and sort of passed the 
conversation around. 

313
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:40,440
But I remember there was one 
particular theological debate 

314
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:41,920
and it was getting really 
heated. 

315
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,240
And I kept jazz and I kept 
trying to pull it aside and I 

316
00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,840
kept going and I kept going and 
I looked at jazz and I ate a 

317
00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:50,800
ginger biscuit, one of my 
favourite biscuits. 

318
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:57,360
And then I pretended to choke 
and I and I coughed, you know? 

319
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,200
And everyone stopped and looked 
at me. 

320
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,000
Oh, are you OK? 
Do you want some water? 

321
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,240
I said, oh, I need some water. 
And by the time I was dealt 

322
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,040
with, the conversation was over 
and we moved across. 

323
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:16,080
And. 
It was great it worked. 

324
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,560
We're just, we're just, we're 
just making some notes to pop 

325
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:23,440
in. 
So if you go to a small group 

326
00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:25,560
and there are ginger biscuits on
the table, you know what they 

327
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,400
have to do. 
Any kind of biscuits. 

328
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,520
A great thing. 
Great. 

329
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,040
Thanks, Joe Tabby. 
I think kind of similar to what 

330
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:33,480
Dylan was starting with there 
about the kind of timing 

331
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,400
sometimes. 
So I quite often end up with my 

332
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:41,240
clinical time at work being a 
clinic on Wednesday afternoon, 

333
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:46,320
which is really inconvenient, 
but it's if it, if it overruns 

334
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,160
or there's like a challenging 
patient right at the end. 

335
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,520
And then obviously with Jordan, 
I not living at the same place. 

336
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:53,880
So then we're both trying to 
convene. 

337
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,920
She can't get in to start 
setting up a small group until I

338
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,480
get there. 
And actually, if I'm running 

339
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,440
late from work, we've had times 
where we've got in at what, like

340
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,400
20 to 6 and we're doing a full 
meal for people And we've been 

341
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,000
like, what can we make in 20 
minutes? 

342
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,360
Like how fast can we cook a meal
actually? 

343
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,960
And, and our small group can 
attest at the time that 

344
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,920
sometimes everyone pitches up at
six and we're like, 

345
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:19,040
realistically, dinner's going to
be 6:45, not 6, because it's, 

346
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,640
it's just not happened this 
week. 

347
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:24,080
And the stress of that can 
sometimes create a little bit of

348
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,080
friction and a little bit of 
stress. 

349
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,680
I think the other thing for poor
Jordan is that she's got very 

350
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,440
used to where all my cleaning 
supplies are in my house and, 

351
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:34,560
and where everything is, 
everyone turns up even for, 

352
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,280
like, social events. 
And it's like, Jordan, where's 

353
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,800
Tabby's whatever. 
And Jordan's, like, I'll go and 

354
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,360
get it. 
And she's got very used to, 

355
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,000
yeah, how my house works as well
as her own. 

356
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,520
Awesome. 
Chill. 

357
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:54,600
I don't know that we've had any 
like major things. 

358
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,080
It's because you've got all the 
wise people. 

359
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,760
Right. 
I think probably, I think 

360
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,440
probably I flap more about 
getting home because Wednesday 

361
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,680
night is my night where I'm 
getting home from work at the 

362
00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:07,720
latest and we've got to have 
dinner and the dog's got to be 

363
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,880
walked and then people start 
arriving at 7:00. 

364
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,440
And sometimes if I've had a 
migraine that day or something, 

365
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,360
then it's. 
Difficult to think, right? 

366
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,120
I've just got to keep going just
for the next few hours. 

367
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:24,120
But when people turn up and you 
start chatting and stuff it all 

368
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:26,240
kind that all kind of like melts
away. 

369
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:31,960
So yeah. 
I think we've not had any kind 

370
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:36,920
of messy situations yet. 
I don't want to pre empt it, but

371
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,960
I think one of the things that I
have learned as I've got older 

372
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,520
is that you've got 2 ears and 
one mouth, right? 

373
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:45,760
So if anything like that does 
occur, I think the best thing to

374
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:50,120
do is to listen first, think 2nd
and talk 3rd. 

375
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,800
And hopefully by the time you've
done all of that, then you'll 

376
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:58,200
have assessed the situation 
properly and you know, you've 

377
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,000
also got time to say a quick 
prayer and and ask for God's 

378
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:06,880
help in resolving it. 
I think there's something really

379
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,920
important about the rhythms of 
church life and I think being in

380
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:14,320
a Home group that is a rhythm 
that we we do life together. 

381
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,600
We occasionally come in here on 
a Wednesday. 

382
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,040
But whatever is happening in 
life, So whether that's, you 

383
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,720
know, whether you're poorly 
because we've been through the 

384
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:25,840
whole cycle of, you know, 
weddings, births, deaths, 

385
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,880
sickness, all those different 
things happening, mental health 

386
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:33,360
challenges, you know, financial 
challenges, you name it as a 

387
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,680
family over the last, you know, 
5 decades. 

388
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:40,880
But in terms of leading a Home 
group, I think the important 

389
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,400
thing is just being very real 
and actually saying this, This 

390
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,640
Is Us, this is what is 
happening. 

391
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,600
And actually it's not. 
Trevor and I do serve our Home 

392
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,600
group. 
We do and that there's no doubt 

393
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,640
about that. 
But also our Home group love us.

394
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,400
So it's a reciprocal 
relationship because we're 

395
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,480
brothers and sisters in Christ. 
So the important thing is to not

396
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,600
feel like it's it's only you 
that's doing it because actually

397
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,840
in in the mess of life, then we 
share that and do that together.

398
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,400
It's important that you find the
people. 

399
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,960
I mean, I'll say to Phil and 
Lisa, not everybody is a lefty 

400
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:18,080
as some people are right elbows.
You need to find the people that

401
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,040
that you can connect to who 
doing life together is 

402
00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,520
meaningful. 
And if you're not in the right 

403
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,800
Home group, move to a different 
1, you know, but find people who

404
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,200
you can feel real and feel 
vulnerable with and who you know

405
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,560
you can trust. 
And that's not easy. 

406
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,600
And people will hurt and 
disappoint over time. 

407
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:39,760
They will. 
But I, I think that for us, the 

408
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,800
challenge has been just about 
that is about being real and 

409
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:48,240
doing life and expressing that 
to people who we know God has 

410
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:51,360
asked us to do this. 
We so it's an obedience thing 

411
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:56,120
really rather than a sacrifice 
thing, I guess, but believing 

412
00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:59,080
that the people that you're 
doing life with that actually 

413
00:22:59,320 --> 00:23:05,440
that God is in that. 
Just adding on to what Dil was 

414
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:11,000
saying earlier about him being 
away and it's often quite like 

415
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:14,920
quite close to it starting small
group and I'm just there by 

416
00:23:14,920 --> 00:23:17,680
myself. 
And I think there have been a 

417
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:22,080
couple of times where so just 
prior to this just a little a 

418
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,320
little talk, not other people do
know actually I'm quite 

419
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,280
introverted. 
I don't really I need to be in 

420
00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:33,200
the mood for for people. 
I need to make sure I've got 

421
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:37,400
that in my head that there are 
people coming that I need to be 

422
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,760
OK with that and that and and I 
am OK with that more than more 

423
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,280
than fine. 
But Dylan is more that person in

424
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,640
in that all the time. 
But it's it's the kind of we've 

425
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,120
had friction. 
We've had diamonds where I just 

426
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:56,720
said I have nothing in I, I, 
I've so much has happened in at 

427
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,640
work. 
The guys, I'm feeling really 

428
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,800
vulnerable today. 
I don't know what to say. 

429
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:05,480
I don't know what's going on and
deal with sometimes then lead 

430
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,480
there and then kind of lead in 
discussions on that point. 

431
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:10,760
We've alternate in that sort of 
sense as well. 

432
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,280
But then also with, I think 
there's something as Pam was 

433
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:19,360
saying about knowing what it's 
like and that your small group 

434
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:24,200
knows what it's like for you to 
be to be vulnerable and open is 

435
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,560
very, very important because 
then they know they can start 

436
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,520
feeling the same way for for 
such. 

437
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,440
As What makes the sacrifice 
worthwhile? 

438
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,840
What is the sacrifice 
worthwhile, do you know? 

439
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:41,920
I think it's seeing people come 
together, praying for each other

440
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,000
without us kind of prompting, 
without us saying anything. 

441
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,040
And it's, it's them sort of 
meeting up outside a small group

442
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,400
and saying, Hey, I want to have 
a cup of coffee with you. 

443
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,400
It felt like this, like when you
were saying this in small group,

444
00:24:56,600 --> 00:25:00,840
I felt something in the spirit 
and I just wanted to kind of be 

445
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:06,240
with you on that and just really
continuing to do life outside 

446
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:11,560
really, which has been something
that has happened to me quite a 

447
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,480
lot. 
So that has been, it's, I guess 

448
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,120
it's not really a sacrifice A 
lot of times. 

449
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,760
Sometimes it is because it 
really is a joy and it really is

450
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,640
a, it really is great to have 
people over. 

451
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:30,840
But I think knowing the fact 
that people do then get to do 

452
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:36,200
this outside of our allocated 
time and a Wednesday evening is 

453
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:38,000
really important, yeah. 
Great. 

454
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:38,480
Thank you, Tim. 
I. 

455
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,880
Just want to add something about
kind of bouncing off of what 

456
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:41,920
both Pam and Jazz have said 
there. 

457
00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,880
The one of the times where we'd 
both had, we'd both had a, not 

458
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,360
just a late finish, but a really
rough day at work. 

459
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,240
And we'd literally got back at 
what, like 35 past five. 

460
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:53,640
And we were like, and we were 
both a bit frazzled and a couple

461
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,760
of people pitched up early and 
we were both a bit like, and 

462
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:01,760
then 10 minutes later there was 
a production line going on in my

463
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,160
kitchen because we were just 
really authentic. 

464
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,640
And we were just like, listen, 
we got home 3 minutes before you

465
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,760
just got here. 
And I actually just, I don't 

466
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,360
have anything ready. 
There's nothing cooked. 

467
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:12,080
The house isn't cleaned. 
And then you've got someone 

468
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:14,400
chopping chicken and someone 
chopping onions and like, and 

469
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,400
someone making the drinks. 
And everyone was just like, 

470
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,920
yeah, OK. 
And like, and just got on with 

471
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,440
and, and it kind of didn't feel 
like we were hosting small 

472
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:22,720
group. 
It felt like the small group was

473
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,640
hosting small group. 
And everyone just pitched in. 

474
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,280
And, and it's those moments, I 
think with the sacrifices where 

475
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,360
you go actually, like we've 
built a community here where 

476
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,680
everyone's just like, yeah. 
And like, we're all family. 

477
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,360
We've come for a family meal. 
If I can put the plates out, 

478
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,160
let's get the plates sorted. 
And I think we've experienced 

479
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,480
that as well at the end of the 
small group when you're kind of 

480
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:43,120
like, Oh my gosh, like the 
kitchen's like this with dishes 

481
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,280
and things like that. 
And I'd be thinking I'd be 

482
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,320
talking to somebody and then I'd
walk in the kitchen. 

483
00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,200
And usually it was Tabby who was
actually having a quiet moment, 

484
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,320
to be honest. 
Like we treat him from the 

485
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,640
conversation. 
But the dishwasher was loaded 

486
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,000
and everything was being washed 
up. 

487
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,560
And it was kind of like me being
me, if she said, could I do that

488
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,080
for you? 
I said, no, no, you leave that, 

489
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,080
you know, I'm hosting you. 
But I think as we learn to allow

490
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,440
people to help and assist and 
all of that sort of thing, it 

491
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,640
just brings such a an incredible
richness to to the group. 

492
00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,520
We used to be part of a small 
group up in Newcastle and one of

493
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,680
the leaders was a GP. 
I don't what time we started. 

494
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,960
It wasn't as early as ours here 
as that half seven or something.

495
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,160
And he'd roll back through the 
door. 8:00 mid small group and 

496
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:21,760
he's when the leaders, he'd go 
up and get a shower. 

497
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,160
He'd come down and he just like 
absolutely wiped out and 

498
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,040
knackered slump in the chair in 
the lounge, wouldn't he? 

499
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:28,600
Somebody would put his food in 
front of him for him and then 

500
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,200
he'd slowly come back to life 
again. 

501
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,320
And then eventually everybody 
gets diminished time. 

502
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:33,600
We would leave at 11:00, won't 
we? 

503
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,600
Yeah, there were long days, but 
there were, there was, there was

504
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:35,960
good. 
Fun. 

505
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,520
I'm gonna put the cat cat 
amongst the pigeons with this 

506
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,400
question. 
Feel free to pass it if you want

507
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:44,000
to and we'll move on. 
But tell us one thing that 

508
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,240
people who come to small groups 
do that's really irritating. 

509
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:53,240
I got. 
I got a list. 

510
00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:57,160
I got a list. 
Now, now be, now, be cautious 

511
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:01,160
because because this, this, this
is kind of a picture. 

512
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,520
It's really good. 
Look at the South African. 

513
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:08,360
Go and deal. 
It's it's when you put all the 

514
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:11,480
drinks out nicely and you stack 
all the coasters and you come 

515
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,800
back and everyone's got a glass 
and not a single coaster has 

516
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:19,400
been moved. 
Similarly, when we're serving 

517
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:21,800
food and we're all sat around 
the table and we passed on the 

518
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,840
plate and it just comes right 
back to the start. 

519
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,080
Everyone just passes it around 
and they do it because they know

520
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:33,360
it winds us up. 
So my little pit peeve is so 

521
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,960
because there's a lot of people 
in our small group, Jays are now

522
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,240
on like the other side of the 
room and we put the snacks on 

523
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,960
the one side and you'll see them
helping themselves. 

524
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,920
But it never comes around 
people. 

525
00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:46,800
People get up in the middle and 
like help themselves, but no one

526
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,160
ever passes it around. 
And Jazz says, I want crisps. 

527
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:58,000
So And then the other one that 
we have is when when people have

528
00:28:58,080 --> 00:28:59,840
like they brought food, they 
were late. 

529
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,120
Maybe they've gone for 
takeaways, which is fine. 

530
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,320
You can. 
And then they'll get up and 

531
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,880
they'll leave the takeaway bag 
on the floor and then leave the 

532
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,440
house. 
And I'm like Jazz, we're going 

533
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,000
to have to show people where the
bin is. 

534
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:14,840
Take the whole small group in 
the kitchen. 

535
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,080
This is the bin. 
And you? 

536
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:19,840
And your Pam in there. 
Pam, after over 50 years of 

537
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,320
small group leading, you know 
you've so mellowed. 

538
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,560
I have to say, in terms of our 
current small group, I can't 

539
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,800
identify with any of these 
things you guys are saying. 

540
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:34,480
All are also well behaved. 
They're so helpful. 

541
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,440
And yeah, we don't have any of 
those problems. 

542
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,000
Trevor usually bakes a cake. 
People are always bringing 

543
00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,280
things. 
Nicholas is a French pastry 

544
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,400
chef. 
Oh my goodness, So this? 

545
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:45,160
Is not a pitch for small groups,
yet I'm. 

546
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,280
Sorry. 
Well, if it was, you're in the 

547
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:52,960
wrong one if you're not in ours.
But no, I, I, no, I can't think 

548
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,280
of anything right now. 
I mean, in previous ones that 

549
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,720
I've been in, yeah, people 
hugging, hugging the floor and 

550
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,600
not giving other people an 
opportunity to talk and all that

551
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:03,080
sort of thing. 
But I we've never resorted to 

552
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:07,200
the ginger biscuit. 
Maybe that's why Jazz puts the 

553
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:10,000
snacks at the other end now, so 
we can't choke on them. 

554
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,960
You guys. 
We got our toilet door lock 

555
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:21,080
fixed downstairs. 
Somebody who shall remain 

556
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,640
nameless was like, I can't get 
out of the toilet. 

557
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:26,320
David, David and Suzanne will 
attest to this. 

558
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,560
When you go through home church 
planting training and say one of

559
00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:30,760
the core things we start church 
in your home, whether that's 

560
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,640
small group or church plant, is 
make sure that you've got a lock

561
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,480
and a toilet because if you 
don't, people don't come back to

562
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,920
your house. 
We planted a church. 

563
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,640
We never had a lock. 
Didn't we ever, for five years. 

564
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,480
I still don't. 
I still don't. 

565
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,680
Actually, if you go to Tabby's 
small group, the cat opens the 

566
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,200
door, so just watch out for that
one. 

567
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:51,240
Can I have my invitation? 
Oh no, it's. 

568
00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,400
The vapours and the smokers who 
go at the back and then walk the

569
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,480
mud back through the house when 
they've had a vape in a fag. 

570
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:03,120
Anyway, so you know, our small 
groups are places where, you 

571
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,680
know, they see what we're doing 
day-to-day. 

572
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:09,000
We don't figure out how we do 
life with each other by reading 

573
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,360
a welcome leaflet, do we? 
We actually come alongside each 

574
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,760
other, rub each other up the 
wrong way, walk mud into your 

575
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:15,640
house. 
Maybe not that you'd notice this

576
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,200
on our carpet. 
It's a bit old, but we talk 

577
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,200
about values that are caught and
not taught. 

578
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,520
And so doing life together like 
this at close quarters and 

579
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,320
seeing who we are, who we real 
people, authentic people, this 

580
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,920
is how we actually imbibe the 
values and the vision of the 

581
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:35,440
church as well. 
But actually, crucially, small 

582
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:38,520
groups are actually part of our 
pastoral care system in that 

583
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:42,280
they're all of the church that 
we're called to look after each 

584
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,360
other, You know, and Phil and I 
can't be at every visit and 

585
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:48,400
things like that. 
You actually wouldn't want us 

586
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,840
there because as Pam says, you 
know, we're a right elbow and 

587
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,000
she's a left ear and all of that
sort of thing. 

588
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:57,120
So, you know, we are gifted in 
particular ways in ministry. 

589
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:00,560
So when you're in a small group,
you're not waiting for like a 

590
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:02,440
professional to come and care 
for you. 

591
00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:04,680
You're surrounded by brothers 
and sisters who are already 

592
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:07,480
there. 
And you know, it's this group 

593
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,560
member that I can attest to 
this. 

594
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,360
We, we haven't run a small group
in probably about a year now. 

595
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,760
Phil and I were going through 
some really, really tough stuff 

596
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,800
and somehow it got wind across 
the church. 

597
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:20,680
And generally, you know, when 
you, when you're leading the 

598
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,560
church, it's a very, very lonely
place. 

599
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,600
And you're kind of like doing 
top down and not up. 

600
00:32:26,640 --> 00:32:29,400
And, and the camera starts 
pinging on the door. 

601
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,080
And when we open the door, 
there's a, a Sainsbury's bag 

602
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:33,880
there with a box of chocolates 
and a bottle of wine. 

603
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:35,200
And we're like, oh, that's 
really cute. 

604
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,680
Those people who creep up, we 
actually know who you are, but 

605
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:39,080
they're trying to do it 
secretly. 

606
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,960
And then about half an hour 
later, same thing happens. 

607
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,320
It's another bag on the 
doorstep. 

608
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:47,040
And for us, that just really, 
really touched us because it was

609
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,960
kind of like, we're not invading
your space, but we see it and we

610
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:51,520
care. 
And like, depositing wine on the

611
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:53,040
doorstep is always a winner for 
me. 

612
00:32:53,400 --> 00:33:00,000
So there you go. 
So how have you guys? 

613
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,720
How do you see? 
So we talk about it all as some 

614
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:03,560
of the few have been pastoral 
care of the church. 

615
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,120
You know, we are the all. 
We come alongside each other. 

616
00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,760
Sometimes we need the sum, 
sometimes we need a little bit 

617
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:12,760
more dedicated pastoral support 
and then the few, you know, 

618
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,080
sometimes we need to direct 
people out the church for some 

619
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,560
real specialist help. 
Sometimes we marriage 

620
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,240
counselling within certain areas
of church. 

621
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,600
So we talk about pastoral care 
or some few. 

622
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,680
But for you guys, how have you 
seen this all happening across 

623
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,560
your groups? 
What does this look like when it

624
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:29,560
might be a bit hard for you 
guys? 

625
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,600
You know you've been going for 
three months, but you know, how 

626
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:33,960
do you see this working of the 
all across your groups? 

627
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,040
And sometimes not even if you 
know for you to not be the 

628
00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:39,400
catalyst behind it as well. 
Go on to have you can start. 

629
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:43,480
I think for me, it's always in 
the little things, like there's 

630
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,480
the big moments and people get 
behind each other, but it's 

631
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:48,480
actually in the little things of
like never once having to worry 

632
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:51,360
about whether everyone who 
doesn't drive in the group is 

633
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,600
definitely getting a lift to and
from small group and couldn't be

634
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,040
less involved in that. 
But I know that they all are 

635
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:02,440
knowing that people like hearing
from people that they've like 

636
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,760
Jazz was saying earlier spent 
time with each other outside a 

637
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,360
small group that something's 
come up in prayer. 

638
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,639
And then it's like, actually, I,
I thought that that sounded 

639
00:34:08,639 --> 00:34:11,840
quite deep. 
And I'm, I'm quite close to that

640
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,280
person. 
So actually I've taken them out 

641
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,800
for food, whatever, for a 
coffee, for a drink. 

642
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:20,239
And, and again, it's those 
little things of like you were 

643
00:34:20,239 --> 00:34:23,880
saying about, about the 
doorstep, like I had a really 

644
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,760
tough couple of weeks a few 
months ago at work and then came

645
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,639
home one day and there was like 
chocolates that had been posted 

646
00:34:30,639 --> 00:34:32,880
through my door from someone in 
the small group. 

647
00:34:33,159 --> 00:34:34,719
And, and like, it's all those 
like little things. 

648
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,960
But I know that lots of these 
people are, they're all doing it

649
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,080
for each other. 
Like, not just for me or for 

650
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,560
Jordan, like everyone is just 
collectively looking after each 

651
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:47,199
other in the little moments. 
Great Geo Andrew. 

652
00:34:49,639 --> 00:34:54,159
I think we've kind of we're good
at just popping a little what's 

653
00:34:54,159 --> 00:34:57,640
up in our group, saying praying 
for you because we know that 

654
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:02,120
somebody's got an appointment or
got something that needs, you 

655
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:05,840
know, me to prayer or just 
encouraging or saying, oh, you 

656
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,360
know, to people have a nice 
holiday, have a good break. 

657
00:35:09,720 --> 00:35:12,360
We'll see you when you get back.
Just little things like that. 

658
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:15,080
I think that's where we're 
starting from as we're getting 

659
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,520
to know each other more deeply. 
Announced. 

660
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,360
Yeah, we, I mean, we do do all 
of that. 

661
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,160
Our our WhatsApp group is very 
active. 

662
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:29,120
If people have got stuff going 
on, they they do put stuff in 

663
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:32,360
there or people will contact 
Trevor and I ask us to pray 

664
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,280
about things, tell us stuff 
that's going on. 

665
00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:37,480
I think being able to be honest 
and vulnerable with one another 

666
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,760
and to put that out there 
because Trevor and I when you 

667
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,360
get a church and there's the 
size that that our church is now

668
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,120
for the Lisa even to know 
everybody's name is difficult 

669
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,200
for Trevor and I to know 
everybody's name is difficult. 

670
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,160
So I think that's when when 
small group is really at its 

671
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:53,520
best is because you are 
intentionally choosing. 

672
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,440
It's not about being in a 
clique. 

673
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,880
It's just about it's just about 
I know that I can't know what's 

674
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:02,040
going on in in everybody's life 
and I can't pray for everybody's

675
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,160
everything. 
There's not enough hours in the 

676
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,240
day, but I can intentionally be 
invested into the lives of 

677
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,720
people that God has connected us
with. 

678
00:36:10,720 --> 00:36:15,640
And I would say that the all the
summon the few is that not all 

679
00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:18,880
Home group leaders are pastoral 
by nature, Although I think 

680
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:23,560
pretty much this bunch of here 
are, but I but I think it's 

681
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,240
about the whole church knowing 
that that is the model the 

682
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,040
church works on. 
So if you're not in one, it's 

683
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,760
very difficult then in terms of 
having your pastoral needs met, 

684
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,240
because unless you specifically 
go to Phil and Lisa or come to 

685
00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,440
somebody and say, I need this or
want that or this is hard, 

686
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,440
people are not going to know. 
And then it it's then easy for 

687
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,440
people to feel that they're not 
valued, that they're not 

688
00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,760
understood, that people aren't 
listening or all of those 

689
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,560
things. 
But the process of Home group, 

690
00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:56,040
if you like, is that that that's
really where that is meant to be

691
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:57,720
lived out. 
And I think that's the thing 

692
00:36:57,720 --> 00:37:00,800
that I've learned in 50 odd 
years is that how we live out 

693
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:04,960
our faith is in those 
connections with with one 

694
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,680
another. 
And, and I can't pray for 

695
00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,800
everybody and I don't expect 
everybody to pray for me, but I 

696
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,160
know that there are a dozen or 
more people that anything that 

697
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:17,320
is happening in my life, if I 
send a message, I know that they

698
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:22,880
will pray for me. 
So for those folks that don't 

699
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:28,280
know, the Vineyard movement is a
multiplication movement and we 

700
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:30,880
are the sort of church that 
should this church get to a 

701
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,640
certain size, rather than go to 
two services, we want to plant 

702
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:35,720
another one. 
So we're not about numbers, 

703
00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:37,800
we're about multiplication. 
That's something that's very, 

704
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,440
very different. 
And we don't want to end up in a

705
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:42,680
holy huddle. 
We don't want to end up in a 

706
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,120
clique. 
We want to have space for 

707
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:47,560
everybody to be able to find 
somewhere. 

708
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,920
And I think if we truly believe 
the gospel is good news, you've 

709
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,920
got to be willing to grow and to
multiply into new groups so that

710
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:57,080
they, all of the pastoral care 
can reach more people in our 

711
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,840
community. 
We've heard a lot of stories. 

712
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:03,600
We've a lot of heard about how 
everything happens in the small 

713
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:05,600
groups here. 
And some of the small groups are

714
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,640
actually straining the seams. 
They're, you know, not enough 

715
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:11,120
time around the dinner table. 
The cost of multiplication is 

716
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:16,240
going to be hard because as 
Pam's put so eloquently, we are 

717
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:18,200
in each other's lives. 
And then to actually part 

718
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:21,960
company and go as a little 
fraction off to somewhere else. 

719
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:24,000
I know. 
But look what you've birthed, 

720
00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,600
you know, it means saying 
goodbye to people that you've 

721
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:30,400
grown close to, doesn't it? 
So you can start something new. 

722
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:33,200
But actually what we, what we 
need to be looking at, it's a 

723
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,480
Kingdom mentality. 
It's Kingdom of God 

724
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:38,720
facilitation. 
And actually as we send people 

725
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,080
out into new small groups, it's 
a joy actually. 

726
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:49,400
So just one more question. 
We've used a model before where 

727
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,840
we would start a small group, we
would have a healthy small 

728
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,400
group, and then we would pass 
the whole small group to the 

729
00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,200
other person and bless them and 
they do a really good job and 

730
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,440
mop up the pieces. 
But for those people who've 

731
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,520
actually encouraged people to go
to another small group that's 

732
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:09,400
just started out, if any of 
you've got any kind of stories 

733
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:12,000
or anecdotes behind that and 
what it feels like and what it 

734
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:13,320
looks like, we'd like to hear 
it. 

735
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:17,320
Microphones. 
Nice. 

736
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,800
Just relax, don't think you've 
got to do everything to a 

737
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,960
schedule because I think that's 
what I was like the first two 

738
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,480
times I did it. 
And obviously we've not done it 

739
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:34,640
for very long, but I was like 
right written out, actually just

740
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:38,520
stop and you've got to let the 
Holy Spirit do it's thing, do 

741
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:42,960
their thing and get to know 
people and just chill out. 

742
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,280
So that's what I've learnt. 
I've just chill out. 

743
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:53,600
Jazz still. 
Dylan cries when people leave 

744
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:55,440
the small. 
Group I do, I do. 

745
00:39:56,120 --> 00:40:00,200
I think like Pam said, becomes a
family. 

746
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,880
And I know like for jazz and I, 
we don't really have any family 

747
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:07,760
around in England, so church is 
our family anyway. 

748
00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:12,600
But you know, you argue with 
uncles and you argue with aunts 

749
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:15,640
all the time in a family. 
But that small group is so 

750
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:21,360
precious to us. 
But we've, I think for for jazz 

751
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,160
and I personally, we love the 
people in our small groups. 

752
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:29,400
We've created such friendships 
that if they were saying, oh, if

753
00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,800
we saw that they were going to 
lead another small group, we 

754
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:33,920
would just pass our entire small
group over. 

755
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,680
We don't mind starting from 
fresh, but we know that we will 

756
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:41,840
see them still during the week 
because we've got such great 

757
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,160
friendships with each other. 
And I think when you know that, 

758
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:47,800
when you know, I don't need to 
speak to the person on Sunday 

759
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,320
because I can just invite them 
over on a Friday, it allows you 

760
00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:53,160
to release things a little bit 
easier. 

761
00:40:54,320 --> 00:41:00,800
But maybe not yet. 
My, my heart's still healing. 

762
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:04,440
It's fine. 
But but realistically, knowing 

763
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:08,160
that you can see them sort of 
whenever you want, it makes 

764
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,880
releasing it much easier. 
Absolutely. 

765
00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:15,640
I think sorry, really sorry. 
I think for us as well, what we 

766
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:21,440
are definitely the kind of 
people always want to see more 

767
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,000
of what God's doing in the end 
people's lives. 

768
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:28,640
And we're always on the lookout 
for the next and, you know, 

769
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:29,560
next. 
We like. 

770
00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:32,480
Strangers, we do like strangers 
we do. 

771
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,480
And we've, we've kind of had a 
vision in the beginning of, of 

772
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,080
starting our small group, but we
kind of thought what, what, 

773
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:42,840
what, what is it actually? 
What is it like for us as 

774
00:41:42,840 --> 00:41:46,680
international people who are not
from Darlington? 

775
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,680
And we've kind of had this 
vision that we're going to have.

776
00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:54,040
I think we're going to, I think 
it'll be good to, to bring in 

777
00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,160
people who also are from 
different countries who don't 

778
00:41:57,160 --> 00:42:01,280
have their families nearby. 
And so we've got 2 lovely 

779
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:06,120
Nigerian families right now who 
can come or who do come when 

780
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:10,840
they, when they do, when do have
the time and when they when they

781
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,480
can do with their kids and 
families as well. 

782
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:17,880
And then we've got like 
literally a whole different 

783
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:19,280
people. 
But that's the kind of sort of 

784
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:23,120
mindset that we've always had is
that we how many more people 

785
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:28,200
outside of the British culture 
can we invite so that we've got 

786
00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,400
they know that they also feel 
like they've got family just 

787
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,880
like we've been given families 
through small groups. 

788
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:36,760
I. 
Mean we say that half, half the 

789
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:41,720
small group is from England. 
I think it's just, it's just 

790
00:42:41,720 --> 00:42:47,080
this idea that we wanted a 
culturally diverse small group 

791
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:51,520
and dealing with the cultural 
clashes is can be difficult, but

792
00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:54,120
it is fun. 
But you know, it can be the 

793
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,840
weirdest and wonderful things, 
things you never thought you 

794
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,640
would have a clash with seems to
clash. 

795
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,240
But just living life and going, 
OK, this is a cultural thing. 

796
00:43:03,240 --> 00:43:06,320
This is not a personal thing. 
Let's work on and let's find 

797
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,920
out. 
Oh, why do they believe that? 

798
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,800
Or why do I believe that? 
And it does bring you the best 

799
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,800
bring you shared meals. 
Yeah, yeah. 

800
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:14,280
So if you. 
Say spicy. 

801
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:17,200
If you're in Dylan Jazz's group 
and you are British, I do 

802
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,360
believe prophetically that the 
Lord is calling you on to plant 

803
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:25,520
a small group. 
So there's two things in me at 

804
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:26,840
least we really want to say this
morning. 

805
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:28,320
You know, as you listen to these
stories. 

806
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:31,080
No, Perhaps, you know, you're 
feeling stir in your heart. 

807
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,080
You know, we're looking for new 
small group leaders that don't 

808
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,680
have to have come out of a small
group, but you know, maybe they 

809
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:38,600
are. 
You know, we're not looking, as 

810
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:40,400
you've noticed, for perfect 
people. 

811
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:44,960
Absolutely too much. 
Too much. 

812
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:50,400
You can say that again actually.
It's OK, they all know already. 

813
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:53,000
They all know us. 
You know, we're looking for 

814
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,360
people that who want to help 
build this House of God, you 

815
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,280
know, so today, you know, we're 
putting a call out for anyone 

816
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,560
interested in exploring 
leadership in a small group 

817
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,640
setting. 
You know, we also want to speak 

818
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,240
to people who aren't in small 
groups. 

819
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:07,360
You know, you've heard some of 
the amazing things that go on in

820
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,120
small groups. 
You know, we've got 1000 

821
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:10,680
stories. 
We've got a million more 

822
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:12,600
questions we just don't have 
time for, which will get a 

823
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,320
little bit more out of these 
guys as well, you know, But you 

824
00:44:15,320 --> 00:44:17,720
know, you hear the importance of
being in small group around 

825
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,480
pastoral care, around 
fellowship, you know, around 

826
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,360
eating some great food. 
And you know, it's not about the

827
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:25,600
whichever time it is. 
And, you know, we don't have a 

828
00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:27,680
strict model. 
Small group is Wednesday at 7:00

829
00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:29,600
PM. 
You know, we need a diverse 

830
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:32,120
range of small groups at 
different times, different days,

831
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,040
daytime ones for certain people 
to come to that. 

832
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,480
So, you know, we need people to 
think outside the box of what 

833
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,120
could a small group look like 
for me if I was going to leave 

834
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,280
it. 
So what we're going to be doing 

835
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:48,400
is at the end of this talk and 
when you're all getting coffee, 

836
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,680
all the small group leaders are 
going to be standing at the back

837
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,360
of church. 
So if you want to grill them 

838
00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:55,120
with any question that you want 
to that we haven't been able to 

839
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,240
get through here, feel free to 
do that. 

840
00:44:57,240 --> 00:45:00,080
At the same time, Phil and I 
will be standing there as well. 

841
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,120
And we are looking at round 
about October, November, we will

842
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,720
be starting a four week small 
group. 

843
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:09,840
Phil and I, for anybody who 
wants to start a small group, 

844
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,640
wants to ask questions. 
We'll talk about the vision and 

845
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:15,320
the values of the church. 
We'll spend 4 weeks together. 

846
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:17,640
You can be attending your usual 
small groups or we'll do it on 

847
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,360
another evening. 
And it'll just be basically like

848
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:23,560
a lovely little pod of people 
that we can actually mix 

849
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:24,960
together. 
We're all starting out on this 

850
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,160
journey together, can support 
one another. 

851
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,880
And after four weeks, we'll pop 
you out into the church and 

852
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:34,600
you'll have a small group. 
And so if you feel disqualified,

853
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,720
we all do. 
If you feel like you can't do 

854
00:45:36,720 --> 00:45:40,480
it, we all feel like if you have
a row with your spouse every 

855
00:45:40,480 --> 00:45:42,920
single time you're about to go 
out to small group, the row is 

856
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:44,520
going to be worse. 
When you're leading a small 

857
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:48,760
group and you know all of the 
above and all of the little 

858
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:51,200
niggles and choking on biscuits 
and things like that, It's all 

859
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,240
par for the course because we 
are authentic and we are 

860
00:45:54,240 --> 00:45:57,200
actually just people and none of
us are out of the realms of 

861
00:45:57,720 --> 00:46:00,840
getting upset and, and, and 
having to take things on the 

862
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,400
chin and such like. 
So if you feel like you're 

863
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:06,400
called to become a small group 
leader or even if you're not, 

864
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,720
the four weeks you won't be held
to account to actually start a 

865
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:12,880
small group. 
Just come and and we won't have 

866
00:46:12,880 --> 00:46:15,200
any biscuits. 
We'll make you some food and 

867
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:16,880
then you can just talk about 
what it means. 

868
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,920
Awesome. 
Well, we're going to have a soft

869
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,520
close to service today. 
We're not going to go into 

870
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:25,440
ministry, but I wonder, is there
a willing small group leader who

871
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,640
would close us in prayer? 
Fat list? 

872
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,160
Any last comments from you guys 
before? 

873
00:46:30,160 --> 00:46:34,240
Can I just, yeah, please do. 
I mean, I know we've been making

874
00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:38,800
jokes about bits and pieces, but
leading a small group is, has 

875
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,600
been one of the greatest 
privileges of, of jazz in our 

876
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:44,520
lives. 
There's something so incredible 

877
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:49,240
when you lead a small group and,
and what the Holy Spirit does in

878
00:46:49,240 --> 00:46:53,800
your life and how it changes it.
So if, if you're thinking about,

879
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:57,520
or maybe God's calling me to run
a small group, do please step in

880
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,800
towards that and into that. 
You know, it's so wonderful and,

881
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,600
and all of the bits and pieces 
that go wrong. 

882
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:07,280
It's all worth it. 
When you see people say, Oh, 

883
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:09,840
I've been praying for someone 
for the first time or they 

884
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:13,840
stepping out in faith or you 
know, it's it just everything 

885
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:19,000
becomes worth it. 
But we all agree, we all agree 

886
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:22,520
that it's never the right time. 
We never feel qualified. 

887
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:25,160
We're always rushing to get 
ready, There's always shoes to 

888
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:27,280
trip over and pots that aren't 
in the right place. 

889
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:30,080
And we always have amazing 
evenings, even though we 

890
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:34,560
probably all argue with our 
spouse or or friend before we 

891
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:37,040
open the door. 
Is that fair? 

892
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,280
I think that's very fair, Pam. 
You look like you're busting 

893
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:41,800
with a font of knowledge down 
there. 

894
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:43,880
Well, the font of knowledge 
you're. 

895
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:48,360
Best be wise. 
I suppose it is just this sense 

896
00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,760
really that that we are all 
living stones and we are all 

897
00:47:51,760 --> 00:47:54,840
meant to be built together. 
If you're not being built 

898
00:47:54,840 --> 00:47:59,120
together, if you're not kind of 
doing the whole intentionally 

899
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,840
connecting. 
But what it does is we were 

900
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,200
talking just the other day about
the horning stone thing. 

901
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,280
You know, in Lopidary they shove
everything into this tumble 

902
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:10,680
thing. 
Now you can tumble and it's 

903
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:13,560
painful and there's snot and 
there's tears and there's all 

904
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:15,520
sorts of things. 
And doing life together isn't 

905
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:17,600
easy. 
We will annoy one another 

906
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:22,640
because we're not all the same. 
But actually, Jesus is wanting 

907
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,840
us to be more like him. 
And the way that we get refined 

908
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,920
to be more like him is to do 
life together. 

909
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:34,880
When you take yourself out of 
the Tumblr, which sadly in 50 

910
00:48:34,880 --> 00:48:37,840
odd years I've seen a lot of 
people do because it is painful,

911
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,160
it is hard, you do get chipped 
and hurt. 

912
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:43,040
And I think anybody in church 
that tells you that isn't the 

913
00:48:43,040 --> 00:48:46,880
case is lying to you because 
just as in life, you know, doing

914
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:50,680
life with people, it's hurtful. 
But if our goal is to be more 

915
00:48:50,680 --> 00:48:54,760
like Jesus, then we have to 
intentionally keep putting 

916
00:48:54,760 --> 00:48:59,680
ourselves back in to the Tumblr.
And I, that's what I would say 

917
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:04,320
really, is that whether it's 
this church, whether you go to 

918
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:08,240
another church, whether you 
whatever, however you do it, if 

919
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:12,400
you love Jesus and you want to 
be more like him, then you have 

920
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:16,520
to make the hard choices to do 
the things that help us to be 

921
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:20,280
more like his image. 
I guess that's what I would say.

922
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:22,360
Will you pray for us? 
Yeah, not me. 

923
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:28,320
At least today all. 
Of us, Father, we thank you that

924
00:49:28,720 --> 00:49:31,520
church is your idea. 
Lord Jesus, we thank you that 

925
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,400
this is your bride for whom you 
died. 

926
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,840
Jesus, we thank you that one day
you will present us faultless, 

927
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:48,560
clothed in your righteousness, 
beautiful in the presence of 

928
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,840
God, and that we will all be 
there together. 

929
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:55,960
And I cannot say about my 
brother and sister in Christ 

930
00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:59,160
that I don't have time for them 
or that they're not like me, 

931
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:02,720
because I know I will share 
eternity with all of these 

932
00:50:02,720 --> 00:50:06,320
lovely people who love you. 
And even the ones I don't really

933
00:50:06,320 --> 00:50:08,680
get on well with, Lord, they'll 
also be there. 

934
00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,520
So Father, I pray that you would
help us. 

935
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:17,040
Help us, Lord, to keep on 
forgiving, to keep on loving, to

936
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:23,080
keep on getting back into that 
relationship, that way of living

937
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:26,680
as church that is authentic, 
that is real, that allows you to

938
00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:30,760
do what you are doing in us as 
individuals and in us as Your 

939
00:50:30,760 --> 00:50:34,200
body. 
Father, forgive us when we don't

940
00:50:34,200 --> 00:50:37,520
do that, when we judge one 
another harshly, when we're not 

941
00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:42,080
kind. 
Help us all to see in each other

942
00:50:42,080 --> 00:50:46,400
your image, because you made us 
all in your image and you are 

943
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:50,600
refining us to be like You. 
Lord Jesus, let that be the cry 

944
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,080
of our heart. 
In your name, Amen. 

945
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:54,720
Amen.