How to affect other people with words.
That's the greatest arts in the world, to learn how to affect
other people with words. Before we dive into today's
lesson on words that influence, I have something special for
you. The self-discipline Hacks
Playbook turns the steps you're about to learn into daily habits
so your actions match your words.
If you're ready to apply this episode and see real change, tap
the link in the show notes and get your playbook.
Now let's begin. Key phrase, don't be lazy in
language. If you learn to use the gift of
your own language wisely, it can make you a fortune and build an
incredible life. Here's three other things I
learned. One is to train, training people
how the business works. And then I've used another word
called teach, train and teach. And only to say this, training
people how the business works. Teaching is how life works
because here's what all of us need for the 21st century.
Business skills and life skills. The life skills are leadership
skills. The life skills are learning how
to set goals. Now here's the ultimate skill to
learn that can transform your life and the life of whoever
will listen. The ability to inspire.
Inspire means help people to look up a little higher than
where they are and wish they could get there and inspire them
that it's possible. Here's how we inspire by our own
testimonial. If I can do it, you can do it.
Here's how else we inspire by others testimonial.
If they can do it, marry, you can do.
Getting people to see themselves better than they are.
Getting people to see themselves richer than they are.
Getting people to see themselves more capable next year than they
are this year. Getting to see themselves in the
future. To help both your kids and your
people, here's what you must learn to do.
Number one, help people to see themselves as they are.
If people have made mistakes, they got to know it.
You can't go on making mistakes and hope to achieve.
Mistakes have to be corrected, and you've got to do it with
your children. Help them to see themselves as
they are. If they've messed up, here's
what you've got to say. You've messed up.
But here's what's important as a parent.
Don't leave them in the mess. Some parents, you know, tell
their kids they've messed up and then they leave them in the
mess. They don't paint a better
picture. Here's what you could become
with just a couple of more changes.
Rather than this, here's what you could be.
So we must help our children see themselves as they are.
But here's the greatest gift, to help our children see themselves
better than they are. To transport them not only past
to see their mistakes, but transport them to the future.
To see their opportunity to see the person they can become.
My mentor had that greatest gift to help me to see myself better
than I was. At first it was difficult to
see. Then I started to believe.
And that's how I got here today. He said, one of these days, Mr.
Owen, you'll walk into a room full of people and you will hear
some of them say that's him, that's the famous man.
I, I said, well, that could never happen to me.
He said, trust me, if you keep working hard on the disciplines
like you're doing right now, that'll happen.
You'll walk into a room full of people and you'll hear one say,
that's him, that's the famous man.
He saw it and he tried to get me to see it.
And now finally it's happened. I think when I walked in here
today, I think I heard someone say that's him.
That's the famous man. That happened for me.
And if it can happen for me, it can happen for you.
Just master these skills to inspire.
Here's what else I learned, the skills of building an
organization. Learn to work with the people
who deserve it, not the people who need it.
You must be like life itself. Respond to deserve, not to need.
It doesn't say if you need, you will have a harvest.
It doesn't say if you need a harvest, you'll have a harvest.
It's not what it says. It says if you plant, chances
are good you'll have a harvest. If you plant, you will reap.
Not if you need, you will reap. So we must be like life itself.
Respond to the people who deserve it by planting, by
taking the first step. Even God himself says, if you
move toward me, I'll move toward you.
That's the condition. You move toward me, I'll move
toward you, says the Almighty. Now he could also say, you don't
move. I don't move, You say, well,
that's arbitrary. Well, when you're God, you can
set it up that way. Now we learn to work with the
people who deserve it, not the people who need it.
Now here's what's the next step. Teach people how to deserve your
time. Teach people how to deserve your
attention. Teach people how to deserve a
phone call. Say Mary, you just take this one
step and I take 2 steps. You take 2 steps.
I take 5 steps. You don't step, I don't step.
But this isn't hard. Now you step, I step, you
respond, I respond, You try, I try, you make a call.
I back you up, right? Learn to teach people how to
deserve your time and your attention.
Next, I learned to work by group more than individual.
Here's why. 80% of the people do 20% of the business.
So 20% of the people you can work with individual, 80% you
have to work with by group. But group is very powerful, less
confrontational. Then here's what's important for
all of you to learn as a sponsor helping other people.
You can help 1000, but you can't carry 3 on your back.
And I'm sure all of you have already gotten that experience,
even though you've been here a short time.
Some people will try to get on your back.
That's where we got that expression.
Get off. That's where we got that.
A guy discovered somebody on his back and said what I can't carry
you get. Now if you're like some I see
here, you know, 6 foot four and you weigh £300, you might carry
1. And if if you were really big
enough, Kareem Abdul Jabbar or something, you might carry 2 but
you can't carry 3. When babies are born, they were
not designed just to be carried. Babies were not born to be
carried all their life. Someday you got to try your
legs, Someday you got to try your wings.
Someday you got to try. Even if you fall down, you got
to try 'cause you can't just crawl around all your life.
You can't be carried all your life.
So as quickly as possible you can help 1000, but you can't
carry 3. Next, don't expect the pear tree
to bare apples. I used to try to change
everything. You can hang apples on a pear
tree. I'm telling you won't help.
You can put up a sign this is an apple tray.
Sure enough, come the season pairs.
Here's what I learned. You cannot change people, but
they can change themselves. You cannot change people, but
they can change themselves. Capital in your business isn't
what matters, OK? It's not the money that buys you
a future. It's your skills that buy you a
future. Money and no skills.
And I'm telling you, you're still poor.
Money and no ambition. Where are you?
Money and no courage? You're broke.
A little bit of money and a whole lot of courage.
That's all we need. I'm looking for people and I'm
recruiting back in those days and the money didn't matter.
What mattered to me was somebody's willingness,
somebody's ingenuity, somebody's willingness to try, right?
If they had a dollar to invest, that was plenty for me.
A dollar and some ambition and I can show you how to get rich.
And it'll be one of the classic stories of the company.
I go to recruit somebody, they say I don't have any money.
See, I've been looking for you for six months.
Let me show you how to do it without any money because here's
the rules of capitalism. Jot this down.
You can either buy and sell, or if you're in certain
circumstances, you can sell and buy if you've got ambition.
Now, if you haven't got ambition, we can't cure that.
And money won't cure lack of ambition.
But if you've got a dollar and some ambition, I'll show you how
to get rich. And even if you don't have a
dollar, I'll show you how to get rich because you can sell and
buy. Somebody says as soon as the
product arrives, I'll sell it. Then you don't understand.
You don't understand the magic of fortune if you say I have to
wait till it gets here to sell it.
And you probably don't understand the value of your own
story. Once I understood that, I knew I
was going to be wealthy. That's why right in the
beginning, I started giving big tips.
I knew I was going to be wealthy.
Say, wow, this guy tips like a rich man.
That's right. He tips like a rich man.
Even in the beginning, I tipped like a rich man because I knew I
was going to be rich. Isn't this fun?
I've got these phrases down as I close #1 the greatest value in
life is not a bank account. The greatest value in life is
not a car, a home to live in. The greatest value in life is
this. Make a note.
Living a good life in the midst of all of our achieving and
recruiting and building and growing, helping other people,
being a part of society in the country, in the world, being all
of this stuff. Here's what you must figure out
all of your life, how to continually live a good life.
So let me give you my short list.
I'll cover the long list the next time I see you.
Here's the short list on the good life #1 productivity.
If you don't produce, you won't be happy.
Here's #2 good friends. The greatest support system in
the world is good friends. You got to work on that.
Don't be careless here, friends of those wonderful people who
know all about you and still like you.
Here's next spirituality. I'm not asking you to be a
believer. I am a believer that humans are
more than an advanced form of the animal Kingdom.
I'm a believer that we're a special creation.
I don't ask you to be a believer, but here's what I do
ask If you are a believer, Here's what you must do.
Study, practice, and teach whatever's valuable to you.
Study, practice, and teach. Repeat it after me now again,
study, practice, and teach. Here's why.
It builds the foundation that builds the country, that builds
the nation, that helps us to compete among the nations of the
world in the 21st century. And this is one of those
subjects to study, practice and teach.
Next, my parents taught. Don't miss anything.
Don't miss the game. Don't miss the performance.
Don't miss the show, the movie. Don't miss the words.
We're all inspired by the words. Elton John says she lived her
life like a candle in the wind, never knowing who to cling to
when the rains set in. You can't miss those lyrics.
You can't miss the music. You can't miss the song that
nourished the soul. You can't describe how brief and
fragile life is. Much better than that.
George Harrison, one of The Beatles, sings If not for you,
the winter would hold no spring. Couldn't hear a Robin sing.
I just wouldn't have a clue. If not for you, wow, you got to
remember the words, The words that reflect the experience.
Barbra Streisand sings. It used to be so natural to talk
about forever, but used to. Bees don't count anymore.
They just lay on the floor till we sweep them away.
You don't sing me love songs, You don't say you need me, and
you don't bring me flowers anymore.
Illustrative of all of our experiences, Winston Churchill
said The truth is incontrovertible.
Malice may attack it and ignorance may deride it, but in
the end, there it is. You got to use that feast on
someone else's comments because see, you could stay up all night
and not think of that. I'm asking you to do your
research. I'm asking you don't miss
anything. Don't miss the play.
When my father was 93, just before he died, if you would
have called him at 10/30, 11:00 at night, he wouldn't be home.
He's at the rodeo and he's watching the kids play softball.
He's at church, he's watching the concert somewhere every
night. My parents taught me that don't
miss anything. Even little small things.
Don't miss. Big things don't miss.
Don't miss. Don't miss.
It's part of living a good life. Here's why.
Jot this phrase down. It'll serve you well forever.
If you live well, You will earn well if you live well, It'll
show up in the texture of your voice If you live well.
It'll show up in your face if you live well.
It'll show up in the magnetism of your personality if you live
well. So don't miss the nourishment of
all the things around you that could help you live a good life.
Next is the inner circle. Take care of them, they'll take
care of you. Inspire them, They will inspire
you. Nothing more valuable than the
inner circle. That's where the power to
conquer the world comes from. The inner circle.
If a father walks out of the house and he can still all day
long feel his daughter's kiss on his face, he's a powerful man.
That nourishment of the inner circle is so incredible.
If a husband walks out of the house and all day long he feels
the imprint of his wife's arms around his body, he's
invincible. Who can touch him?
One person caring for another, the old prophet said, is the
greatest of virtues. There's many virtues and values,
but the greatest is love. One person caring for another.
Better to live in a tent on the beach with someone you love than
to live in a mansion by yourself.
People caring for people, and especially that inner circle
where the power is so magnificent that if you draw
from it, if you nourish it, and then it nourishes you.
Now here's my last comment. Ask for God's help.
We could all use a little help, but my whole seminar was what
you can do. A man took a rock pile, turned
it into a fabulous garden. Somebody came and saw it and
said, you know you and the good Lord have this fabulous garden
here. The gardener said.
I understand your point, but you should have seen it a few years
ago when God had it all by himself.
So we do play a part. So make this the last note.
Now we have a chance as human beings to participate in the
miracle process. We have a chance as human beings
to participate in the miracle process.
And you can go do that every day, as often as you wish.
Changing somebody's life, rescuing somebody from oblivion,
building an organization second to none so that your name will
appear in many people's testimonial.
And that's why I came today, so that by chance, I don't need the
money. It's not why I'm here.
I take the money, but I don't. I don't need the money.
But here's why I'm here by chance.
Perhaps if I've come along at the right time, I don't know
what time this is for you, But if I've come along at the right
time, just maybe a week from now, a month from now, a year
from now, five years from now, you might say Jim Rohn came by
and gave us a little piece of information that started me down
the road. Here's what's happened to me.
And my name might appear in your testimonial.
Now here's the drama as we finish.
How many of you have my name in your notes?
Here's the part of the drama. Then I go with you.
When we all leave here and the lights are out and the place is
dark, I go with you because you've taken my notes and
hopefully some of the spirit, some of the stuff I had besides
just the notes. So I go with all of you.
But here's the big drama. All of you go with me.
See, that's so unbelievable. So as I leave here, I promise
not to leave you behind. I will take you with me in my
thoughts and in my heart. God bless.