1 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:05,700 Well, you found us. I'm so glad you did, but I am 2 00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:08,300 sorry that you had to. Who are we? 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:10,200 I'll tell you what. We're not. 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:13,700 We're not old. We're not boring, and we're not 5 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:15,800 giving up. So come on into our widows 6 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,100 Circle. Where trauma meets humor, and we 7 00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:20,900 remind you that you can not only survive. 8 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:27,300 But Thrive, this is every Widow thing today. 9 00:00:27,300 --> 00:00:31,000 We are going to introduce ourselves Eggs right on right 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:36,700 on, remember that cheerleading anyone know anyone just me. 11 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,500 Anyway, we're going to introduce ourselves so you get a little 12 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:45,200 bit of background on who these for badass widows are. 13 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,300 And I'm going to go first. My name is Whitney, my husband's 14 00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:53,900 name is Hunter and we were together for 28 years, married 15 00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:59,800 for 23, and we met in the summer before our sophomore year. 16 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,400 At the University of Texas. We were 19 and extremely smart 17 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,200 to meet each other and stay together. 18 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,100 Although I did have to work very hard for him. 19 00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:15,800 Anyway, that's for another day after college. 20 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:17,600 We got married and we moved all over. 21 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,900 We had an amazing life. We lived in Texas. 22 00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:26,000 We went to Kansas, we went overseas to London, we lived in 23 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:29,800 Connecticut, and then we settled in Los Angeles. 24 00:01:30,100 --> 00:01:36,400 For about 15 years until the summer of 2017, when we decided 25 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,000 to come back to our Roots, because Allah was getting a 26 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,000 little crazy, and our kids weren't grounded enough, you 27 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,100 know? So we wanted to get back to 28 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,500 Texas. Austin was really, the only 29 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:52,100 location we were interested in staying. 30 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:58,700 So we packed up and moved out out of Beverly Hills and back to 31 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:01,400 Texas Hills. Unfortunately, three months 32 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:04,700 later. My husband died unexpectedly. 33 00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,500 I remember thinking, this can't be happening. 34 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:12,700 We have so many plans, like, we've got so many plans and 35 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:18,100 yeah, it was very traumatic. Obviously, I didn't have anyone 36 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,600 here. I didn't know anyone. 37 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:24,200 We literally moved in the summer and right after school started 38 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:29,200 for the kids he died. We do have three kids at that 39 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,500 time. I'm my daughter was starting her 40 00:02:31,500 --> 00:02:35,900 freshman year in high school and my boys were going into Middle 41 00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:40,900 School, sixth and seventh grade. So the Ages were about 15 12 and 42 00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:43,800 11. So yeah, I had to start all over 43 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:47,300 the really, the hardest thing for me was that because I didn't 44 00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:51,000 have any of my friend group here, and I'm meeting people for 45 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,000 the first time. No one knew me as a couple, you 46 00:02:55,000 --> 00:03:00,200 know, I was just Whitney, there was no Whitney and Hunter and I 47 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:06,200 really struggled with that, the way that I coped with my trauma 48 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,100 and the grief. And that first year was, I dove 49 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:14,000 headfirst into a ton of self-help books mostly about the 50 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:18,000 soul and the afterlife, because that's really what I was trying 51 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,900 to figure out and I had a belief but I was like, but where is he 52 00:03:21,900 --> 00:03:25,100 really. And I got a lot of peace from 53 00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:28,800 that, and then the other thing that I wanted to do was find my 54 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,500 group, find other people that were going through a similar 55 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,000 trauma. And I said this before, I, you 56 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:41,400 know, want to know what it looks like and find the women that 57 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:46,800 seem to be thriving, you know, in spite of what's happening to 58 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,300 them. And that's how I found you guys. 59 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,400 And that's now why we're here. So that gives you You a little 60 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:58,300 bit of info on me and we're going to pass it on to the next 61 00:03:58,300 --> 00:04:01,900 Widow Hira. Hi, my name is Keira. 62 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:07,300 My husband's name is Frank. We met in Washington, DC. 63 00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:11,400 We both grew up in the DC area. Went away to college, ended up 64 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,600 back in that area and met through. 65 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:19,200 Mutual friends at a party. We were was it Love at First 66 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,200 Sight? Um, I think it was for him. 67 00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:26,500 Ha ha ha. I was dating someone else. 68 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:29,700 So wasn't really on the lookout for him. 69 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:34,400 How old were you? So I was 26 and he was 30. 70 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,700 We were a little older, we had a lot in common, we both majored 71 00:04:38,700 --> 00:04:43,200 in English. We just kind of hit it off, but 72 00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,800 we're just kind of friends at first. 73 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:50,700 But ultimately, we did start dating because we just kind of, 74 00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:53,600 would not give up. We just kind of Connected and 75 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,600 just couldn't fight it. So we about six months after we 76 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,200 met, we moved to New York City together and move to the Upper 77 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,900 West Side. We were both working in 78 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:07,100 publishing. We also moved around a lot. 79 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,400 We moved to Toronto for a couple years. 80 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,500 I had a baby there, my daughter aislinn. 81 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:17,200 Then we moved back to New York. Then when I had my second child, 82 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:20,800 my son Thomas. We moved out to the suburbs of 83 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,800 New York to Montclair, New Jersey. 84 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,400 We were there for about five years. 85 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:33,200 I had a third child there, Karis in 2009, and then Frank's Frank 86 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:37,600 had a company here in Austin that was recruiting him an 87 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:41,800 education startup. And I had never been to Texas in 88 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:46,700 my life just so really not one, not even fit in so. 89 00:05:46,700 --> 00:05:51,000 Well not even a cowboy hat. People, not even an airport, 90 00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:58,600 stopover. I had no idea what to what to 91 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,400 make of it, but I was pretty adventurous back then and he 92 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:05,700 said, I think you're still Advance, let me just paste that 93 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:08,600 me here to visit. We did a little house hunting. 94 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:13,000 We moved in August of 2010, right. 95 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:17,500 As my youngest was turning one, my son was entering kindergarten 96 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:22,300 and Iceland was in second grade. We actually made a lot of 97 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:24,700 friends really quickly. Clearly, I think having kids, 98 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:28,200 those ages, I think living in Tarrytown, which is kind of 99 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,100 Central Austin. We made some really good 100 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:33,100 friends. We were having a great time. 101 00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:40,200 Life was good about four years in, we had a car accident and 102 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:44,700 Frank passed away. So that was pretty sudden and 103 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,200 dramatic. And I didn't have any family out 104 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,700 here at all. The friends really came into 105 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:53,800 play and that moment and I'll always be grateful for Or that 106 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,600 people really rallied around my family. 107 00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:02,000 The older two kids were at camp, and they weren't in the car, but 108 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,700 my youngest and I were injured severely injured so Karis. 109 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:11,400 And I were in separate hospitals, Frank had passed and 110 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,300 family, and friends, just kind of rallied. 111 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,500 And for a long time, it was pretty terrible, pretty. 112 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:21,600 We're going to go into detail, Augie, everybody's stories, but 113 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,800 just out of curiosity. How long were you in the 114 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:27,400 hospital? And how long was curious in the 115 00:07:27,407 --> 00:07:29,600 hospital? I think Harris was in for about 116 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:34,200 a month. So I was 42 had, I was 42 and 117 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:38,000 Karis was almost five and then Thomas and Iceland were at 118 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:42,900 Sleepaway Camp 11 and 9 years and they had been there for a 119 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:45,400 couple weeks. We were on our way to get them 120 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,100 and we were hit by a drunk driver. 121 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,100 Yeah. So I was in the hospital, 122 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:55,500 probably seven weeks and then When I was in a hospital set up 123 00:07:55,700 --> 00:08:00,700 at the house for a while. Also, because I kind of walk and 124 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:05,900 I had all kinds of wheelchairs and equipment and tanks like 125 00:08:05,900 --> 00:08:08,100 that lock how many surgeries you had to have? 126 00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:15,000 I had many, many surgeries I kind of lost count, but probably 127 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,800 like 20 fish. That's a No-No. 128 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,100 Anyway, we'll get more into that later but that was Really tough 129 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:25,800 year. Just my grief. 130 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,900 My grief Journey started a little bit later because I am a 131 00:08:29,907 --> 00:08:31,500 riding. Yeah, it was really funny for my 132 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:34,000 life and really trying to get. I just wanted to get well and 133 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,799 back to my kids, and my parents lived with me for a year. 134 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:39,900 They came from Virginia, but they are amazing. 135 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,700 They were amazing. They were traumatized to mean it 136 00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:46,500 was just hard hard for everyone, but yeah, yeah. 137 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:49,800 So that's my story. Oh, and then like I said, I had 138 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,900 amazing friends, but I didn't have friends that Had obviously 139 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,500 been through what I had been through. 140 00:08:55,500 --> 00:09:00,500 And so when Lacey reached out to me for the first time that was 141 00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,400 amazing. And then I met Holly and then I 142 00:09:03,408 --> 00:09:05,600 met Whitney and he should probably make it clear. 143 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,200 I did not know you. We had mutual friends and I say 144 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:09,500 you Annie. That's correct. 145 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,800 Yeah, we did. None of us knew each other know 146 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,300 each other. Yeah. 147 00:09:14,700 --> 00:09:18,100 But that was such a lifeline and that was sort of the beginning 148 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:22,300 of coming to this moment in time where we want to be a Lifeline 149 00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:24,100 for other. Exact purpose. 150 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:27,700 So many people do not have a group. 151 00:09:27,700 --> 00:09:31,000 They couldn't find one or in a good evening replay groups and 152 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,800 they don't click. Yeah, it's tough. 153 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:34,400 Exactly. Yeah. 154 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,500 And I'm so grateful for you guys and I'm so happy that we're 155 00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:38,400 doing this. I think it's important to note 156 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:41,900 that most of us don't know each other's stories in depth, right? 157 00:09:42,100 --> 00:09:45,500 So this is the first time I'm hearing a lot of the details as 158 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,300 we don't usually discuss that kind of thing. 159 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,400 It's not easy. Yeah, it's easy, it's not easy 160 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,000 to talk about. All right, Holly you're up. 161 00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,400 Up. Okay, let's do it. 162 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,900 Let's do it. This out of my comfort zone. 163 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,200 So here we go. I know. 164 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,100 Okay. I'm Holly my husband. 165 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:06,600 Tobe, we met at Texas Tech when I was 19, like Whitney. 166 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:11,300 And yes, we were babies. Toby was a few years older than 167 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,200 me. It was pretty much love at. 168 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:19,600 First sight at a party at a bar, but he was and we were both in 169 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,700 graphic design. So we saw each other in the 170 00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:23,700 design. Building. 171 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,700 And then he kind of started chasing me. 172 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:30,800 And anyway, and then so fun to be chased. 173 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:35,400 He, he graduated before me and moved out to San Francisco, 174 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,600 which was his dream. And then, of course, I followed 175 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,400 him out there. I live in San Francisco, with 176 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,900 some girls and he lived with some guys, and two years later, 177 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:50,100 we got married, I'll back up and say we were together, 28 years, 178 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:56,400 married for 22, we lived in. California for 15 years. 179 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,400 I had my oldest son, Gabe. And then when he was three I was 180 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,900 pregnant with Zach and eight months pregnant. 181 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,100 We moved to Austin. Oh my gosh. 182 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,200 What time of year and the summertime? 183 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:19,600 It's not easy. But I was born in September. 184 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,900 So yeah, actually, we moved in September. 185 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:27,000 And he was born September 24th. Let's see. 186 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:33,700 So you moved to Austin and you had your youngest and then fast 187 00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:37,800 forward fast forward. Happy living our best life. 188 00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,800 And honestly, we've talked a little bit, Holly and I about 189 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,200 her relationship with Toby and he was like, the perfect 190 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,800 partner. Yeah, yeah. 191 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,700 Yeah, he was. Well, he would every holiday. 192 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:56,400 I would get some amazing color. Wash heartfelt, you know, that 193 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:59,200 he made and I'd be like, shut up. 194 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,800 I got to make something up for him for his birthday Christmas. 195 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,800 Let me run to Randall's forgiving right. 196 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:08,800 Here's our there's no there was none of that why I asked. 197 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:13,100 I was like you know when you're married for that long there's 198 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:16,200 typically some resentments or whatever and I was like she 199 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,300 would always talk about him and I go. 200 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:20,500 Okay well hold up is there wasn't there? 201 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:25,400 Some resentment like we're just like Unload the dishwasher wrong 202 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,800 or whatever and you're like, they're really, I mean, not 203 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:33,800 really so well there, you know typical couple, right? 204 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,500 I mean, but there was still a lot of. 205 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:40,100 I mean, we were really good about date nights and couples 206 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:42,400 you know two of us traveling together. 207 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:45,500 We were really good about that. What you have to work on? 208 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,100 Yeah, you do. Make it happen. 209 00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:51,400 Anyway. He he was driving Zach and three 210 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:55,200 friends home from Baseball practice, and they were hit by a 211 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,700 drunk driver. All the other boys survived. 212 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:03,500 They're all fine. Now, and Zack was 11 and Gabe 213 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:06,800 was 14. He was as freshman year in high 214 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:12,300 school and I was in fifth grade. I think we all the way I got 215 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,300 through. It was being with my friends and 216 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:19,000 and Zach to, I mean, willing to share it. 217 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:23,500 So Toby, died instantly but Zach had to go. because in the 218 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:28,700 hospital who are weak, had surgery on a spine, we broke his 219 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:33,000 arm, he had a lot of injuries and so he was surrounded by 220 00:13:33,700 --> 00:13:38,300 friends and family also and I just focused on him and Gabe and 221 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:42,700 that was my You know, just like Saving Grace. 222 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:45,800 This is all I'm going to focus on Holly and I have this weird 223 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:49,000 crossover where our accidents were on the same road. 224 00:13:49,300 --> 00:13:52,000 Yeah I did not know that I didn't today. 225 00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:58,400 So both drunk drivers and this on the same Highway. 226 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:02,200 Yeah yeah and a bunch of people reached out to me a bunch of 227 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:05,000 people reached out to me when you're when Toby's at. 228 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,100 Yeah happened. And again I didn't know Holly 229 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:13,100 our boys had Kind of maybe cross path and path and baseball a 230 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,300 little bit. But I remember Zack seeing 231 00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:18,400 Thomas at a friend's house. Why? 232 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,600 After the accident and I've followed you because our kids 233 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,500 were the same Elementary School. Yeah. 234 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:27,200 But we didn't know each other. I knew the story and I followed 235 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,400 on the caring caring Bridge. Yeah. 236 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,900 And I would talk to Toby about it and be like, oh my God, I 237 00:14:33,908 --> 00:14:38,700 can't imagine, I can't imagine. And in that interesting, I mean, 238 00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:42,300 there's just this weird Connection between us and all of 239 00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,300 us really and if you look for it, it's there. 240 00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:48,000 But yeah. I was happy you connect. 241 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:54,500 Well, I met Lacey like a week after Toby died and I don't 242 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:58,200 remember our conversation. But will person that we knew she 243 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,100 called me to come. Visit you? 244 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:03,800 I know I was grateful. You were there, but I see what I 245 00:15:03,808 --> 00:15:11,100 said call Lacey and God. Also just says a lot about our 246 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:13,500 community. I mean the community were in 247 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,800 which was really there for me and then the way they connected 248 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:22,000 all of us through unfortunately this tragedy but that was that's 249 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,200 kind of special. I think that makes this area 250 00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:26,300 kind of special in the community that we're all in. 251 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:32,100 Yeah I my parents I remember at the hospital which I mean they 252 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:35,600 the hospital gave us an extra room for all of our friends and 253 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,100 family to hang out in there so many people. 254 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:42,600 And I remember my Parents coming up to me and they were like, 255 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,500 wow, you have a lot of special friends we had no idea. 256 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:51,100 Yeah, I remember my East Coast friends that came in, couldn't 257 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:54,500 get over how many Austin friends we had made and such a shame 258 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,700 time. They were just amazed at the 259 00:15:56,700 --> 00:16:00,600 community and the outpouring of support and that was kind of 260 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,200 cool. And I was interesting because 261 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,700 Toby was different. Like, most guys don't like 262 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:12,000 connect with their friends. On their own like, you know, men 263 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:16,700 like he gave connected with that kept in touch with his group, 264 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:22,600 from high school, and college and now they all live in Austin 265 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:27,200 and slowly like well and they all followed him to California 266 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,600 to. Oh, that's funny. 267 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,500 Who's the leader later? Whole half the cult of. 268 00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:37,900 So, but it's I'm so grateful, they're here now, because, you 269 00:16:37,908 --> 00:16:41,400 know, it means something to have Pull that knew him for such a 270 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:46,300 long period of time and have the memories and then can see in 271 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:50,700 your kids, the evolution. Yeah, I find that really helpful 272 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:54,300 to Hunter was the same had the friend group for a very long 273 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,800 time and I love that. They'll be like, oh my gosh, 274 00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,800 that was so Hunter right there, you know. 275 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:01,500 Yeah. And and then they can tell 276 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:04,599 stories of like, imagine you're dying high school and people 277 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:08,000 don't not talk about them. Helps me when someone brings up, 278 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,599 I love that. I love it. 279 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,599 A shared story of the force. You'd, you know, of let's talk 280 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,400 about. Yes sir. 281 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,400 Let's share your story. Like talk about Lacey and 282 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,500 Oliver. It's funny. 283 00:17:17,500 --> 00:17:19,700 We were talking about this in our planning meeting and I 284 00:17:19,700 --> 00:17:22,200 thought there's only certain things I want to say and don't 285 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,500 say, because they're not easy to talk about, as I'm sure it's for 286 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:28,600 you guys. I moved here from Los Angeles. 287 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:31,200 I lived there for 10 years. I'm originally from Mississippi. 288 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:36,200 Thus, the southern accent. My husband is from Hamburg, 289 00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:39,400 Germany. His name is Oliver and he was 290 00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:43,700 working for Vignette, Germany and I was working for vignette, 291 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,400 Austin. We still laugh how I got into 292 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,600 Tech. I don't know because I knew 293 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,600 nothing about it. I was in the film industry in 294 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:55,100 Los Angeles for all those years and we literally met in the 295 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:57,500 elevator. So that was our song at our 296 00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:02,500 wedding was loving the elevator and all he did was just say 297 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,100 hello. So it is true. 298 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,800 You had me at hello, but I will say this. 299 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,400 I thought he was going to be my boy toy. 300 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,400 Not my husband, right? Right. 301 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,500 So I just thought he looked good. 302 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,900 Yeah, he was both anyway, we met on the elevator. 303 00:18:16,900 --> 00:18:18,900 We ended up. He came up to me that night. 304 00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:21,100 I was giving a presentation to the western region. 305 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,500 And so we started seeing each other and we got married in 306 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:27,700 eight months. I know, I know. 307 00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:31,300 So yeah, it was very fun of at First Sight and the elevator, it 308 00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:33,000 was lust at First Sight, total it. 309 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,300 Then wended its, which because you got married, eight months 310 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:38,700 later and my parents funny enough who'd been married 65 311 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,800 years. They got Engaged in three months 312 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:45,600 to so we did two which was interesting that his dad wasn't 313 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,000 super excited about it because he didn't know me. 314 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:51,200 So, we ended up everything had to be like, really quickly done. 315 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,600 I had to go meet the family had to beat mine, and anyway, so we 316 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,000 were married. Exactly, 10 years. 317 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:02,900 When he died of group a strep toxic shock, he was misdiagnosed 318 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:09,000 with a stomach virus than a and a pulled muscle in his back and 319 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:14,400 went to Coleman died that day. So it was all quick and we had 320 00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:19,000 our son was 6 years old at the time and he was in first grade 321 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,600 and I'm trying to think what else Riders your son. 322 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,300 Yeah he's my only son. He's amazing kid. 323 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:30,600 Yeah, I was older when I had in my career, I'd had a long career 324 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:36,000 before I ever had him so and he's 18 now and he's a senior in 325 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:41,300 high school and he's the Isn't that got me through all of this? 326 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,500 But I have to back up and say, we were all talking about our 327 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,700 careers. I had literally just gotten into 328 00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:49,400 an agreement with a production company for my television show 329 00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,300 that I created. So we were casting on a Saturday 330 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:55,700 and my husband died. The winds day prior. 331 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,900 So I tell people all the time, my career blew up my family blew 332 00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:03,800 up, and I didn't know what I was going to do. 333 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,000 So having writer literally was the thing that kept me going 334 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,500 every day. So I'm grateful Before that I 335 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:14,600 never looked at it as like, God, this is, it was hard. 336 00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:16,300 And I'm sure you guys can attest to that. 337 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,500 How hard it is to raise kids by yourself. 338 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:23,900 And I have the one but it's tough. 339 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:27,500 I find it. It's he looks a lot like his 340 00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:29,500 dad. Oh my gosh and he has a lot of 341 00:20:29,508 --> 00:20:32,100 the mannerisms and you and I have talked about this because I 342 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,900 saved. Well, I mean, look, I still have 343 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,000 all my husband's clothes in the closet but I'm in the attic. 344 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:41,300 So I try to get my move. One house to another and put his 345 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,500 clothes in the new houses closet, right? 346 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,300 But everybody handles things their own way, but you recently, 347 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:51,300 he was wearing his dad's like jacket. 348 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:56,700 You know, his whole Sue's, he can, he had his senior, the, 349 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,700 their homecoming, or whatever. Dad's it was winter formal was 350 00:20:59,700 --> 00:21:02,500 what it was, and he needed a black suit. 351 00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:06,200 And so, I thought, let's go up in the attic and, and rifle 352 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,500 through what Oliver had him, because he was in Hamburg, 353 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,300 Oliver was kind of a nerd. Heard he was a tech exact. 354 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,800 Fortunately, he had had a girlfriend in his past that 355 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,600 helped him learn how to us. Oh my gosh. 356 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,300 Yes. But I all the beautiful journey. 357 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,100 I feel like it would be very stylish and German German style 358 00:21:21,100 --> 00:21:22,500 system is very good. Looking. 359 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,100 Yeah. But we dug around in there and 360 00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:27,900 found this beautiful Italian suit and beautiful tie. 361 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:32,300 And when writer put it on, it fit in my like I love, I didn't 362 00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:36,800 have to create alter anything. So and he loved wearing acid. 363 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,500 You feel weird. Is this weird? 364 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:41,700 He said, no. I I could tell that he felt good 365 00:21:41,700 --> 00:21:46,200 about himself, but he does look eerily similar sis and he has a 366 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,700 lot of the same. I don't know if you guys are 367 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:51,400 finding this with your kids, he has some of the same mannerisms 368 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,100 and sadly, he doesn't remember his father. 369 00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:56,300 Super well, I mean, was only six. 370 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,600 He remembers some of the things they did. 371 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,500 But the nuances of the relationship he doesn't 372 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:04,700 remember, but he does some of the things that Oliver did that. 373 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:08,500 I felt so strange. Like that's how I know it's 374 00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:12,400 nature and nurture. Hmm, well yeah, I agree. 375 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,100 That gives me Comfort. Well, now you're getting to know 376 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:17,900 a little bit about each of us. You're going to learn a lot more 377 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,900 but before we go, I thought it might be fun to do a little 378 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:23,700 lightning round of rapid-fire questions. 379 00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:28,000 Just to get a little bit more insight into each of our 380 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,800 personalities. So Holly, we're going to start 381 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,500 with you, okay? Which means everyone else has an 382 00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,800 advantage because they're going to hear these questions. 383 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,500 But I'm going to start with the first different question. 384 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:42,500 I don't have time. Time for that unless I give you 385 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:45,900 like 5 questions or something. Alright, first texting or 386 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:52,900 talking on the phone? I don't know why I picked you 387 00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:56,400 prefer more weight. What is a pin texting or talking 388 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,900 more than not vexing? Okay, hot or mild. 389 00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:02,900 Mild. Okay, favorite day of the week, 390 00:23:04,300 --> 00:23:06,700 Friday. What something people don't know 391 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:11,700 about you or get wrong about, you know, this I need more than. 392 00:23:12,500 --> 00:23:16,500 So let me ask you this, what's a hidden talent that you have 393 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:22,800 Remind me what? That would be. 394 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,200 My me. I was trying to help her. 395 00:23:24,700 --> 00:23:25,900 I'm trying to tell you what you're here. 396 00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:28,400 In town ahead is she's like past. 397 00:23:29,700 --> 00:23:31,200 All right, I'll go to the next one. 398 00:23:31,300 --> 00:23:33,900 Last song you listened to on purpose. 399 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:39,200 Harry Styles which one was on in the are all of them over and 400 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:41,600 over. How long does it take you to get 401 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:46,600 ready in the morning 45 minutes in turns out what I'm going? 402 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,500 Introvert or extrovert introvert. 403 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,100 Okay all right. Dear Good job. 404 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:56,000 Yeah, I mean, you have to say, are you getting ready to go? 405 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,900 Work out or go detail-oriented or don't care about details go. 406 00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:08,400 He is the designer yeah. For sure, designer, and she is 407 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,200 an organizer, she had a closet organizing our home organizing. 408 00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,900 Well, what, if we can talk about that, we talked about where her 409 00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:18,400 husband's clothes are right. Oh interesting. 410 00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:21,400 Okay Lacey. I'll try to I'll Try to switch 411 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:22,900 it up a tad. Yeah. 412 00:24:22,900 --> 00:24:26,900 So that you're not cake or pie cake or pie cake. 413 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:31,600 Sander snow, see him. I'm a surfer. 414 00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,900 I'm a surfer favorite day of the week. 415 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,400 Saturday what something people don't know about you. 416 00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,600 Or a hidden talent that you have. 417 00:24:42,500 --> 00:24:47,300 I don't know. Are you great karaoke singer 418 00:24:47,300 --> 00:24:50,100 something or like absolutely rhyme in your mouth? 419 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,900 Absolutely. The splits. 420 00:24:52,300 --> 00:24:57,000 Look at the people online, through western dance now, and 421 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,300 that's true. I saw, I kind of think all 422 00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:01,800 righty. I'm A hip-hop dancer. 423 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,300 Know nobody would laugh at my age that up, doing that, sorry 424 00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:10,800 of it Lacey, extrovert or Ver, a ver, a ver which is both. 425 00:25:10,900 --> 00:25:12,600 Mmm. I draw my energy from being 426 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,700 alone but I'm outgoing but I need a lot of alone time as all 427 00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:19,600 of, you know. Yeah, we'll go out and everybody 428 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:22,500 else will go out. In addition to the restaurant 429 00:25:22,500 --> 00:25:25,300 and then I go home Lacey's, get it opening up boundaries, she's 430 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,100 like no. I've already had two glasses of 431 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:30,300 wine, I'm good. And it's time for me to go home 432 00:25:31,100 --> 00:25:33,400 for the rest of us are like, wishing we did. 433 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,600 There we go. And a I know part of that is 434 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,800 survive. Ville to. 435 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,100 Yeah. Hot or mild mild and favorite 436 00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:44,100 holiday. None of them probably changed. 437 00:25:44,100 --> 00:25:47,300 I mean well I plan my husband's funeral on my birthday so that 438 00:25:47,300 --> 00:25:50,900 one's no longer fun. I think I don't know, probably 439 00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:53,000 New Year's because my son was born on New Year's Day. 440 00:25:54,100 --> 00:25:55,400 Great. All right. 441 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:56,600 Cara. Okay. 442 00:25:56,700 --> 00:26:01,200 Texting or talking. Oh, I'm definitely a texter but 443 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,100 I'm barely, I'm told, I text like a guy. 444 00:26:05,100 --> 00:26:08,900 She does Larry See, just one time we were dating. 445 00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:13,000 I was told that, but I really like, just in person 446 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,900 interactions. I'm not a big phone person. 447 00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,800 I would say text like crucial information and then let's get 448 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:19,600 together. Yes. 449 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:23,000 Yeah, hot or mild. Hot favorite day of the week 450 00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:24,700 Thursday. Hmm. 451 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:26,300 Last song you listened to on purpose. 452 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,700 Probably lured here on something the night. 453 00:26:29,700 --> 00:26:33,200 We met or nice. How long does it take you to get 454 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:36,200 ready? Not long today. 455 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:40,500 I put Makeup on which is unusual for me, but not long at all, on 456 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:42,800 a scale of 1 to 10. How good of a driver, are you? 457 00:26:43,700 --> 00:26:46,500 Whoo, um, I think I'm a good driver. 458 00:26:46,500 --> 00:26:49,800 I think I'm an eight. All right, Dawn, or dusk Dawn or 459 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:53,500 dusk, oh, probably dusk sand or snow sand. 460 00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:57,300 Favorite holiday. I mean, I'm with everyone here. 461 00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:02,800 Holidays used to be amazing and then you lose your husband and 462 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:07,000 suddenly really, really hard. I would say that it was 463 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:12,500 Christmas first few Christmases were really tough, but now that 464 00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:15,700 my kids are older. We usually travel, we usually 465 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:20,800 open gifts, and then take a trip and more about an experience for 466 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:25,800 the kids and then the gifts. So, I would say Christmas again, 467 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,600 because it's we've made it super fun, and we've made New 468 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,200 Traditions. Yeah, extrovert or introvert. 469 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:35,500 I was always borderline on the Myers-Briggs but people probably 470 00:27:35,500 --> 00:27:37,900 think I'm extroverted. But Like Lacey. 471 00:27:37,900 --> 00:27:40,700 I kind of need a lot of time to regroup. 472 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:41,800 All right. Yeah. 473 00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,700 You don't get a lot of. All right, I'm gonna pass 474 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,900 questions to Holly and then you pick a couple for me. 475 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,400 Okay, though. I've seen them all. 476 00:27:51,500 --> 00:27:53,900 We might just have to make somebody like some up. 477 00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:55,600 Yeah, sure. Okay. 478 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,800 Texting or talking I used to be talking but then now I've become 479 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,000 lazy and I don't even want to answer the phone texting 480 00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:07,000 favorite day of the week, Wednesday, hump day. 481 00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:13,600 Hey, just because I like to say hump day, favorite food, who 482 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:17,200 Mexican food. Any kind all the time. 483 00:28:17,300 --> 00:28:21,700 Ask permission or beg. Forgiveness, beg, forgiveness. 484 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,500 That's a good one. Would you rather be able to 485 00:28:23,500 --> 00:28:26,500 speak every language in the world or be able to talk to 486 00:28:26,500 --> 00:28:29,400 animals? I would talk to my dog pearl. 487 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,900 What ask her, why? She Wise job barking. 488 00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,700 I would like to speak every language in the world. 489 00:28:37,100 --> 00:28:39,400 I'm a communicator. Don't, they don't care that 490 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:43,300 you're trying. I feel like wimbley tells me 491 00:28:43,300 --> 00:28:45,900 what he needs me to know, Wembley's my Bulldog. 492 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,300 He's a grumpy old, man. All right. 493 00:28:48,300 --> 00:28:50,900 Well, as always, we are here for you. 494 00:28:50,900 --> 00:28:54,600 We've got an Instagram account, every Widow thing, you can go 495 00:28:54,700 --> 00:28:59,300 over there and check us out. Follow us for content, and other 496 00:28:59,300 --> 00:29:02,200 helpful tips, and stuff, for just everyday shit that we're 497 00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:04,900 going through because that doesn't stop just because your 498 00:29:04,900 --> 00:29:06,900 husband's dead. Thank you. 499 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:07,100 You.