1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,960 Our journey of new beginnings will always honor and. 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,960 Rejoice the past. This is every widow thing. 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,120 Today's episode is brought to you by Roger Brooks. 4 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:14,200 And his team at Strategic Investment Management as an 5 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:18,040 Austin based fiduciary financial advisory firm, Roger and his 6 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,720 team bring decades of experience and empathy. 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,840 To help. People regain financial control 8 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:26,120 through life's ups and downs, so you can move forward with 9 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,640 confidence. This episode is brought to you 10 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,800 in part by spiritpieces.com. Beautiful cremation jewelry and 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:36,000 glass art pieces for people and pets. 12 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:38,560 You can find their information on the Every Widow Thing 13 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:43,560 Instagram highlight Reel. Welcome back to Every Widow 14 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,120 Thing. We are celebrating today because 15 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:53,000 it is our one year anniversary. Yay, I did it like. 16 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:57,440 Oprah, yay for us. * and. 1st but we started working. 17 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,840 It was in March. Yeah, mean. 18 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:02,880 Can't believe it. Think back on this year for 19 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:08,440 every widow thing, what are some stand out moments? 20 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,080 I think the first time we came in and recorded and everyone was 21 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,840 so nervous. It looked like a deer in the 22 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,320 headlights. Did y'all look back at that 23 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:18,920 video? I got so tickled. 24 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:24,120 I thought we are all like a deer except for Whitney. 25 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:26,360 Except for Whitney, because Whitney's been on the air. 26 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,880 Before, yeah, but it's still nerve wracking. 27 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,480 I mean you. What's funny is you get so 28 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:35,480 nervous, but it's recorded so you can cut out anything that 29 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:36,160 goes. Wrong. 30 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,720 And believe me, we have. Because then we go, we might I. 31 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,480 Feel like we that whole first recording, I mean, it was no. 32 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,040 It's up on YouTube all over. The place it's all. 33 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:50,560 It didn't end up being the first one, and it was edited quite a 34 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,000 bit, right? Well, I will say we've gotten a 35 00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:00,560 lot better with the UMS and the Yas and the those were cut out 36 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:04,040 for sure, but we've gotten a lot better at that. 37 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,440 But now it's like old hat, you guys just come in here. 38 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,840 Nobody is concerned as much about how they look. 39 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:14,680 You're just here to, you know. That's really job one of the 40 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:19,200 most beautiful things that I think has come of this for me. 41 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:22,800 I was always very like, I wasn't even on social media for six 42 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,800 years before I got off right before Oliver died in six years. 43 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,480 And I, I, I still don't love it, right? 44 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,720 But you have to do it as part of promoting your business or 45 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,120 whatever. And then I noticed that I was 46 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,840 just, oh, I would be so critical of my photos. 47 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,120 And I mean, I still am. I still don't love them, right, 48 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,480 You know, all the way. But I've let a lot of them just 49 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:42,520 go on anyway. Like if we take something while 50 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,600 we're out and I don't particularly like how I look in 51 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,400 that photo. I just go whatever. 52 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,480 I mean some days I look decent and some days I look. 53 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,000 Horrible and Holly one. Of the most critical. 54 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,640 And she's gorgeous. Like, what is she saying? 55 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,880 Because it's not what I see. So I think we're so hard on her. 56 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,480 And you kind of taught me that, Whitney, you just have to get 57 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,800 over it. And I thought I could always be 58 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,000 controlling because I wasn't an actress. 59 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,080 And even I work for people who were. 60 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:09,800 And I used to think, why don't they let it go? 61 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,040 Well, easy for me to say, because it wasn't me. 62 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,080 Right, it's hard to let. It so now I see why they're so 63 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,400 controlling of their images. Because people can be cruel. 64 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:21,440 Yeah. And quick to judge whether your 65 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:24,480 ashes are where they are or how we look. 66 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:28,640 We haven't really gotten any hate, hate comments or anything. 67 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:32,160 We've gotten a couple of just critical like why you doing 68 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,600 that? But I never felt like we got 69 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,720 attacked in any way. So that's good. 70 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:42,120 That's a positive. Yeah, one comment was, well, 71 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,720 what are you going to keep talking about? 72 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:46,480 Oh, right. You are. 73 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,280 Still doing these episodes? What else do you know? 74 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,120 We can talk all day, all night. That's right. 75 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:57,240 Well, we've already covered quite a bit in this year. 76 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,600 Don't we have like 30 episodes? Yeah, we have over 30. 77 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,600 One year that's a May. I'm, I'm kind of proud of us for 78 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,640 that. Yes. 79 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,880 It's a lot of content. Yeah, it really is. 80 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:09,960 What were the episodes that surprised you or what was 81 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:14,080 something that you go back to or that you're proud of, or what's 82 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,880 your favorite? That's a good question. 83 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:20,120 OK, I have a follow up to my episode where I talked about 84 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:25,760 Costco. I had, you know, Frank was the 85 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,520 primary, I guess, on the Costco account. 86 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:32,320 And I was supposed to be getting this kickback and it wasn't 87 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,440 happening because I wasn't the primary. 88 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,320 And so I had to go in around Christmas time and the whole 89 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:40,400 thing. And you can go back and listen 90 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:46,160 to that episode. But just the other day I was in 91 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:53,080 Costco with my fiance whose card was expiring and he's like, hey, 92 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:58,320 can I get on your Costco card? And out of respect for Frank, 93 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,680 when I finally got myself put on the primary, I left him on the 94 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,240 card. So Frank is still on the 95 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:05,440 account. Obviously he's not doing a lot 96 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:10,600 of shopping, but I go in with Brendan and I was like, sure. 97 00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:14,520 So I go with Brendan and the first time we tried to go, the 98 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:17,160 machine was broken. So we had to go back another 99 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,920 time. And we and we're in the line and 100 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,880 I said, hey, you know, I want to get this guy on my account and 101 00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:29,480 this guy in this moment, she says, so am I removing the other 102 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:31,800 person? Because you can only have two. 103 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,120 I guess so. I'm not sure, but she just kind 104 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,800 of looked at me and I looked at him and he looked at me. 105 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:41,200 And then you. Squeaked out a yes, but it. 106 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,640 Was one of the you know, I said yes, you it's time to get Frank 107 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:52,240 off the Costco account. Brendan getting on and then he 108 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,600 had his ex-wife, I think, still on. 109 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,760 Hilarious. So he's like, we are ditching 110 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,240 both of those people. That's funny. 111 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,200 And combining onto our Costco. So that's a hard thing, but it's 112 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,880 I'm proud of you because yeah, you have. 113 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:13,200 It's not like he's ever replacing Frank, but in this 114 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,920 Costco moment a little bit, I guess. 115 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,280 It's the mundane thing, but I still have Frank on bills. 116 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,280 Dude, I do too. My bank doesn't know that 117 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,840 Hunter's dead. Mine doesn't either. 118 00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:26,160 I just went yesterday. I'm the same joint, but it 119 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:31,320 doesn't matter I mean. Down and start all over because 120 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,400 he was the primary. But you know, we should make it 121 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,200 clear because I noticed the other day they were, and this is 122 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,840 no judgement, but at at all. I mean, as soon as they're dead, 123 00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:44,680 you're free to do whatever you want, date, marry, whatever. 124 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,440 Lately I've been noticing someone marrying within two 125 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,680 years, four years. And I looked at a statistic from 126 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,480 Social Security and they said if it if they're not within two 127 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,040 years, it it doesn't usually happen. 128 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,000 I said, well, I wonder what that age group is? 129 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:59,240 They don't break it down. But Keira's engaged, but it's 130 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,800 been 10 years. This is not like she's marrying 131 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,120 somebody right out of the gate, right? 132 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,120 I mean, right, all been and. She's a long. 133 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,960 Quite a fair amount of time. Oh wow. 134 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:12,720 OK. Well, you know. 135 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,840 I've been with Brendan for four. Years. 136 00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:17,000 Yeah, Yeah. So. 137 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,800 He's not the first person you dated, so it it was thoughtfully 138 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,840 done, meaning he was not. Yeah, but I, I think that that's 139 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:28,880 something to think about that you're almost seven years and 140 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:32,880 Holly is 7. I'm 12 1/2 and she's 10 so I 141 00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:34,840 think we've done our fair share of dating. 142 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:37,520 It's time to change your Costco account up, people. 143 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:40,200 Sometimes, maybe. 10 years, I don't even have one. 144 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,560 It might be time. I mean I well. 145 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,560 That's you on mine now. There's no room. 146 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:46,240 That's my. Family's too small. 147 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:48,160 I mean, it's now like empty nesting. 148 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,760 Well, that's The thing is so one of the things that has changed 149 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,600 in this year of starting this podcast is Kira got engaged, 150 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:59,280 which is huge and. Yeah, it was for me again. 151 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,640 You know, we dated for quite some time and then it was really 152 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,560 only when we were talking about combining house, we had 153 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:07,760 maintained separate households. We still have separate 154 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:10,280 households, but we're in the process of combining. 155 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:14,000 And then at that point I said, you know, I want this to be more 156 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,200 official if we're moving in together. 157 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,440 And I just think that's better for the kids and for me. 158 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,080 But yeah, there's it's definitely been a slower 159 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,360 process. I find that I really take my 160 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:33,520 time with everything now. Since the accident I just 161 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,280 everything just kind of slowed down for me. 162 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,760 Which is not. That's a good thing, I think, 163 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,480 yeah. Well, you have other people to 164 00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,360 consider. I mean, the first time around we 165 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,919 didn't have kids to consider. It was just us. 166 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,360 I mean, I certainly wouldn't meet, marry someone in eight 167 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,800 months now. I mean, that's different. 168 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,160 That's how I did it the 1st. Round you never know, never say 169 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,240 never because. I may not, but I yeah, maybe. 170 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,440 But I know now what a marriage looks like and what it takes to 171 00:08:57,440 --> 00:08:59,960 make it work. So I'd be much more cautious, I 172 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,360 think right than I was before. Hey, but you know what? 173 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,000 You're right. Famous last words. 174 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,320 They'll be just me. That be like. 175 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,040 Yeah, you'll be like we met in an elder. 176 00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:08,920 I don't. Know, I don't know. 177 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,800 Yeah, you never know, you might. Be married before I am Holly. 178 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,760 What about I feel like Holly, you have changed quite a bit in 179 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:18,720 the last year. I have I've become more 180 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:23,880 confident and make y'all give me time to talk. 181 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:25,840 That's right, you fight for your time. 182 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,800 Got to fight. And you started dating. 183 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:30,520 Started. That was big. 184 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,760 I mean, that was because you waited, what, five years, five 185 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:37,280 years or six years? To 55. 186 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:42,280 Yeah, and you're doing you. You went on TV. 187 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,680 That's right, on TV. That was. 188 00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,280 Really uncomfortable for me, really hard. 189 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:53,280 Yeah, on the local news, we had a segment and Holly was like, 190 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,320 I'm doing it. I'm it's out of my comfort zone, 191 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,680 but I'm gonna do it. I feel like out of the four of 192 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:03,520 us, you have done more out of your comfort zone. 193 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:04,600 I think so. Too. 194 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,360 Than the rest of us, yeah, which is awesome. 195 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:11,120 And even like, being on social media, putting myself out there, 196 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:14,600 it was really hard for me to post stuff on like my personal 197 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:18,200 Facebook page, yes. But if we're trying to promote 198 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,920 ourselves and grow and we're doing it all together, and then 199 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,920 I had to do it. You know, I think that that's 200 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,560 one thing the audience doesn't know. 201 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,520 That I don't think I realized when I signed on for us doing 202 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:35,480 this and we all agreed to do it, is that it's more than just two 203 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,000 hours in front of in a recording. 204 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,360 Student. It's it's editing. 205 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:43,200 Whitney knows that all too well. It's it's posting content on 206 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:47,440 social media, it's following up with we get countless DMS and we 207 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:51,960 try to be so respectful of people that DM us and ask for 208 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,600 advice. So they want to know, you know, 209 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,800 ask questions. We try to make sure that we 210 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:59,440 answer all of those. It's so in an events, I mean, 211 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,640 Holly turned us on to this, to the place where she works, and 212 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:07,200 they were so gracious to give us a percentage of sales for our 213 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,880 podcast. I think that people don't 214 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,800 realize this is so much more expansive than just two hours in 215 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,920 a studio, right? Talking about our stuff. 216 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,120 Right. And so when when everybody 217 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,040 signed on, it's like, oh, this will be fun. 218 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,160 I think Kerry even said, oh, we'll just drink wine and it'll 219 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,200 be recorded. Well, we were. 220 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:28,600 We were going out and sort of venting to each other anyway in 221 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:32,120 a way that only widows can share, you know, what was going 222 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,920 on with us that other people just couldn't really understand. 223 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:40,200 And so then Whitney said, well, this was, I don't know, sometime 224 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:44,320 last fall, I guess. And I think. 225 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,680 We said we should. Around the holidays, we. 226 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,120 Should have a podcast. Yeah, and of course y'all are 227 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,080 just like, OK, you don't know what? 228 00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:55,000 Like I said, you were just like, yeah, we'll do this, but it'll 229 00:11:55,000 --> 00:12:00,360 be recorded and now you're in. Now we're really diving into the 230 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,080 business aspect of it. And now we're an LLC, and we're 231 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,840 going to have a nonprofit arm and Laceys learning how to 232 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,400 PowerPoint. And I've been doing a lot of 233 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,960 Xeroxing. Yeah, behind. 234 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,000 The scenes era is. Still para PowerPoint. 235 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,080 Vaccine. Do you need a Xerox or 236 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:21,600 something? But you know. 237 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,520 Well, what about you, Whitney? What has 'cause I know you've 238 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:27,840 been on air before, so that part's not that different for 239 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,160 you. Yeah, it's been the most. 240 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:33,800 Different, I think one of the things is having a group to, to 241 00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:39,240 take on this project with me. And, and so I'm learning how to 242 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:46,120 make sure everybody feels good about what's happening and also 243 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:51,240 making sure that I'm, it's not just my voice that everybody has 244 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,160 some part of themselves being shown. 245 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,520 So that's why I'm glad that you guys are starting to feel 246 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,440 comfortable because we're going to do a lot more videos, right? 247 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,760 She's trying to get her buy in on that. 248 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:06,280 None of us really wanted to do the the videos by ourselves. 249 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,840 Asking questions. Doing it on social media is not 250 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,920 something I've ever done. Yeah, you're way more. 251 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,440 Private. Yeah, yeah, things. 252 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,160 Are going to change this year, Lacey. 253 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,640 Apparently it already has told my whole story. 254 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:22,120 I mean I remember I was in the bed 2 days after that, like I 255 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,480 had to get out and take care of my kid and everything, but at 256 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:26,320 the time I was just like it. Hit you hard? 257 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,720 It hit me hard like like opening up Frank over here. 258 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:34,080 I don't these are when I saw Frank's certificate, he just. 259 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,040 The record, we didn't get it open. 260 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:40,120 We, it hit me hard. There's something very, I think 261 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:44,760 it might be that 12 1/2 years later, I think, wow, that it's 262 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:48,560 still something you live with. I think I thought by now, 12 1/2 263 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,800 years later, that I wouldn't feel at all this way. 264 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,520 I thought every day would just be so much better. 265 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,680 Right. And you did have more, better 266 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:57,440 days. Right. 267 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,400 It's less deep, less dark, less often. 268 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,120 That's why where that came from, because I kept thinking, oh, 269 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:05,240 it's, you know, the other day when I had a a moment, it lasted 270 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,560 a moment, but I felt it. I felt it. 271 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,840 Yeah, but you're still going to learn to live with it and you do 272 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,840 have things you look forward to. But I think the privacy thing is 273 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,720 what is still. I have moments of like, wow, I 274 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:21,640 can't believe I said that whole world to, I mean, 40 countries. 275 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,240 I mean, our analytics say we're in 40 countries. 276 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,120 Yeah, that's pretty crazy. Did you ever think that? 277 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,000 I didn't. No, they. 278 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:33,080 Think of our y'alls and our our Austin. 279 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,880 Our Texas twang. Yeah, I wonder what the other 280 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,120 countries think of that, but. I think they they love it. 281 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,640 How are how are things changed Lacey for you now that you're an 282 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:47,320 empty nester? That has been I put a post on 283 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,480 with my son's photo turn, like with his little bowl cut. 284 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,280 Poor thing. I I posted it because I don't 285 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:56,000 think I really started thinking about it till senior year and 286 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,600 two of you've got seniors, you'll be empty nesters too. 287 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:02,640 Whitney and Holly will be empty nesters next year, and it might 288 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,920 be why I started thinking about dating more. 289 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,080 Before, I just would kind of, as one of my guy friends says, I'm 290 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,280 a lazy dater. I would go out on one day and 291 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:13,240 then I just wouldn't follow up because it just felt like work 292 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,240 to me, right? And I had my son at home. 293 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,240 I was busy with him, I was busy with my job. 294 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,120 So I just never thought about it that much. 295 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:23,000 And then now when it's completely quiet at home, you 296 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,200 think about it a lot because it's there's no breathing going 297 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,400 on in that house, right? So you're. 298 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,960 Only heartbeat in there. Right. 299 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,800 And if I, if I want to be with people, I have to make the 300 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:36,000 effort to call them up. I have to make an, you know, 301 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,680 make a plan. And I'm not the best planner 302 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:43,360 when it comes to social stuff. Everything else is so planned 303 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,080 that by the time social stuff comes right, I just don't have 304 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,240 the energy. To spontaneous. 305 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:51,000 But a lot of times people can't lob on you know what? 306 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,440 Like I've even texted you guys and said hey, anybody want to go 307 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,480 have a drink? You guys begged me to go. 308 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,600 Before I know. And I was always like, no, no, 309 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,880 no, too busy job kid, whatever. Now I'm like please. 310 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,960 You're like, hey guys. Somebody but y'all have kids at 311 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:08,360 home still so it's their days. I'm like yippee I don't have to 312 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:12,880 do breakfast but I would say it has been a tougher adjustment 313 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,680 than I thought so. So check on your friends that 314 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:21,920 are empty nesting make. And solo, solo parents, like 315 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:26,880 it's hard for if you have your spouse with you, then you're not 316 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,040 the only one in the house. But yeah. 317 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,680 But I think that's why people find a a a significant other or 318 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,720 insignificant other, because it's lonely. 319 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,040 Do you think Yeah, it can be lonely? 320 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,360 I mean it can be lonely even with you guys only having one 321 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:42,840 kid at a. Home, my kids, never home. 322 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,800 Mine's never home and I if I make breakfast he's not not 323 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:50,480 hungry or already ate so. But I always assume, Holly, that 324 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,800 you all because you have the circle of friends that loves to 325 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,240 go out and drink wine together or come over each other's house. 326 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,600 So I always assume you're busy. That's my. 327 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,640 Assumption. That's not always the case. 328 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,800 Yeah, just assume and then you have your boyfriend, so I just 329 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,599 assume y'all are doing something together. 330 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:09,720 Yeah, so in. The week I, I, I don't know, for 331 00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,640 whatever reason that the podcast seems to, I feel like it takes 332 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,640 up a lot of my time, but but it's more like headspace. 333 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:19,319 I think so too. You know. 334 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:22,800 Until the PowerPoint. And then I'm tired and then I 335 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:26,359 just go to bed or whatever. I don't, yeah, I mean, but then 336 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:31,240 there are weekends like this last weekend where I was out and 337 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:36,520 about the whole weekend and had to put myself to bed at like 338 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,840 8:00 PM. It was fun. 339 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,720 It was fun. We will be right back. 340 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,880 Imagine a financial partner who meets you. 341 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,600 Exactly where you are. Acknowledging your grief. 342 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,040 And taking. The time to listen, empathize, 343 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,680 and truly understand what matters. 344 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:54,280 To you strategic? Investment management can help 345 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,120 you plan a course that honors your past while embracing your 346 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,520 future. Whether you're worried about tax 347 00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:02,760 implications, paying off debt, or stewarding your asset 348 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,840 distributions, Roger's team can make a plan that's aligned with 349 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,920 your family's needs and goals. For more information. 350 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:14,320 Visit www.strategic. Im.com or give them a call at 351 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:23,320 512-341-9898. Again, that's 512-341-9898. 352 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,400 Tell them you heard about them on every widow. 353 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,160 Thing. All right, Well, we recently had 354 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,560 a podcast about our husband's ashes. 355 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,960 Sadly, Kira still can't get into the box. 356 00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:32,880 Can you? We have. 357 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,280 To get in the. Box I'm working on. 358 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,440 I'm working on the box. The whole point is you want to 359 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,520 be able to do something with those ashes. 360 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,400 I came across a great website, itscalledspiritpieces.com and 361 00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:47,000 what I love about it is that they give you a variety of 362 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,680 options. It's jewelry, it's glass art, 363 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:52,560 it's statues. You can do a ton of stuff with 364 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,600 ashes, and we all have quite a few ashes. 365 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,400 There's a lot in the box. Yeah. 366 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:01,000 There is a lot in the box. I like the paperweight idea. 367 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,160 And you know what's so great? And there's one that I'm 368 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,200 actually going to order. It's this heart paperweight and 369 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,640 it's beautiful. But what I love about the glass 370 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,320 art is that they have like hanging pieces and stuff. 371 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,760 And when the light hits it, it feels very heavenly. 372 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,840 That's so pretty, I know. So if you're interested, if this 373 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:21,080 is something that you would like for your own loved one, 374 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,840 spiritpieces.com forward slash every widow thing so they know 375 00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,800 that you heard about it through us is a great option for for you 376 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,080 and for your loved one. We hope you check it out. 377 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,240 And now? Back to the show. 378 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,880 All right, so let's go back to favorite episodes. 379 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,400 Do you remember what your favorite? 380 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:45,040 Episode My favorite one was the episode with the means love 381 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,040 after loss. Whitney and I met them at the 382 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:51,920 Lionel Richie concert and they're so cute, so they came on 383 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,360 go. Get run over widower. 384 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,480 Yes, they met in their 70s like they lost their spouses. 385 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,800 They'd been married over 50 years. 386 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,920 They were close to 70s, right? Yeah, they were 14 years. 387 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,040 Now they've. Yeah, but they married their 388 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,560 spouses that died. They were over 50. 389 00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:10,520 Years. They're so cute. 390 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,520 So cute. I was just thinking about them 391 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,160 today. We need to reach out to them. 392 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,440 But yeah, that's a great episode because it shows you that at any 393 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:23,080 age, you're ready and willing for love and sex. 394 00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:27,000 So inspiring, I think, I think a lot of people when you lose your 395 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:30,320 spouse, like just your whole world drops out just to see 396 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,880 something, you know, inspiring like that. 397 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,160 Agreed. That there are a lot of 398 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,400 beautiful women in Austin, so it might be hard to find somebody, 399 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,640 according to one of. Our listeners. 400 00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,280 Social media followers. Oh my gosh. 401 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,960 All right. What's your favorite Kira? 402 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:52,280 I really enjoyed the recent episode where we interviewed the 403 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:57,200 author, JJ Elliott. I enjoyed the book and the idea 404 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,440 of this whole not being able to say goodbye. 405 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:04,360 Not there was so much I didn't get to discuss with Frank 406 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,520 because it was just over in a minute. 407 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:11,600 And I really appreciated her take on that in her book. 408 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,560 And then talking with her about it, about how the friends 409 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,200 decided, you know, let's plan the funeral now so all the 410 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,600 things can be said in case something, in case something 411 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,080 happens. And we all know shit happens and 412 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,480 you're not ready and you didn't get to say goodbye. 413 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,400 And that was one of that's one of the hardest continues to be 414 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,520 one of the hardest things for me that I didn't really get that 415 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,600 last moment, many last moments with him and the kids didn't. 416 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,320 And we didn't get to say all the things that we wish we could 417 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,280 have said. Do you think you'll make this, 418 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:45,800 this 10 year mark kind of like a goodbye I. 419 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,880 Don't know. I'm trying to sort of see how 420 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,320 that evolved. I think we'll together as a 421 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,880 family and talk about what we want that to look like. 422 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:56,520 Yeah. And if we want to say some words 423 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,040 and maybe sprinkle some mashes if I. 424 00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,120 Can get I can I can send you a link to the fireworks. 425 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,960 Maybe shoot. Them maybe? 426 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:09,160 Shoot them up the skies. We will look, probably, yeah, 427 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:12,200 I'll, I'll just talk to them about it and we'll make sure 428 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,240 everyone's on board. And I don't want to force 429 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:16,560 anything and I don't want to make it sad. 430 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,400 I'm going to do it on the actual date or you trying to figure 431 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,920 that out. Yes. 432 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,960 So the date is the 21st of June. It's always right around 433 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,640 Father's Day. And his birthday is also June. 434 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,360 So just like June is kind of the month and we're going to have 435 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:37,000 Brendan and I, we'll have our parents there for Father's Day, 436 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:40,760 our fathers. So it's still evolving, but 437 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:44,480 definitely trying to nail down all the kids and the family to 438 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,840 all be together. It's challenging these days, 439 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,480 right? So we've got that week kind of 440 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:51,960 blocked off. What's your favorite Lacey? 441 00:22:52,120 --> 00:22:54,040 It's hard. There's it's between 2:00 one's 442 00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,080 funny and it's the gross episode because that makes me laugh. 443 00:22:57,360 --> 00:23:01,240 But the kids episode really hits home to me because that was my 444 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:03,440 main fear. When Oliver died. 445 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,280 He was only 6 and I was looking at, I sent you guys those 446 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:07,840 statistics. I love statistics. 447 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:12,120 I'm a weirdo, I know, but I like to know like because there's so 448 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:16,600 few of us that that lose a spouse when children are young. 449 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,440 I mean, even, I mean, six and below was a low statistic. 450 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:21,120 It was like 3%, something like that. 451 00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:25,760 It's ridiculous. But the point was that people 452 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:27,680 could see that your kids are all right. 453 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:29,760 Just like that movie, the kids are all right. 454 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:33,440 I thought about that. That's the main thing, knowing 455 00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:36,160 that he is OK and doing well and thriving. 456 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:42,080 And I've had so many people send notes about it through Messenger 457 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:43,920 and people that I'm not even friends with on Facebook through 458 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,000 Messenger. And then Holly, one of our 459 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,360 mutual friends, said something about, I can't believe her son 460 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,080 was on there because he's he's pretty. 461 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,000 Zach's pretty quiet. And I said he not only was on 462 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,360 it, he was happy to do it. He was there. 463 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:01,080 He was really able. To be on it and all of them were 464 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,720 so confident and it just made me feel better about all of it. 465 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,960 Even though this has been a terrible thing that's happened 466 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,640 to us. It didn't have to be everything, 467 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:13,600 you know? Yeah, it it, it's. 468 00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:15,960 Not going to define our children either. 469 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:18,800 Yeah, they are. Proof positive that your 470 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:22,280 children will be OK, but air mask here first. 471 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,760 Air mask to your children and do those grief things and your kids 472 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,160 are going to be all right. And that's the main thing I 473 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,880 think people look to us for, don't you think? 474 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,080 Kind of. I do. 475 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,600 I think that's one of the things that, yeah, it's one of my 476 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,760 favorites too, because it's opening the door for these new 477 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,240 widows who don't know. They're not sure, am I doing it 478 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:45,440 right and is my kid going to be OK? 479 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,160 What's going to happen? And we've your children. 480 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,360 Mine weren't involved, sadly, but your children opened up the 481 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:55,040 door and gave them peace. I think because we didn't all 482 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:58,080 handle it the same way. Or always will. 483 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,040 Therapy. Some didn't, yeah. 484 00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,920 Yeah, but they all said the same. 485 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,360 I mean they have the same message that they like their 486 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:10,760 lives and that they are happy. It made me feel so good because 487 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:18,640 my boys are are very quiet and, you know, kind of like me and I 488 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:23,120 was so grateful that they agreed to be on and I was happy with 489 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,240 what they said and contributed all of our kids. 490 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,360 And I could say for me, I didn't do it perfectly. 491 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,560 That's what I wanted the listeners to hear too. 492 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,560 I mean, please, I screwed up so much and writer and I've even 493 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:37,040 talked about that so many things that he may have seen or heard 494 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,840 that I wish. And he says that's that makes 495 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,600 you human. That's why I love talking to 496 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:43,040 Maggie's. That makes you human, mom. 497 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,400 I mean, you lost your best friend and your your husband. 498 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:47,680 Of course you're going to feel that way. 499 00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:51,120 So I thought, wow, these kids are so evolved. 500 00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:53,240 I know. A lot more than I would have 501 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,560 been at that age or was at that age, or even if they're. 502 00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,360 Older, I think it's hard for when for it first happens and 503 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:03,640 you're going through it and it's like not only have your children 504 00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:08,560 just lost a parent, they're also watching the other parent 505 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,400 struggle. And that was also something I 506 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:15,640 worried about with my kids that they had to watch me struggle. 507 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,920 And I did my very best. But I know I made mistakes and 508 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,680 I, you know, when I put my kids back in therapy when they were 509 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,600 kind of a little bit older, I gave them permission. 510 00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:28,400 I said, you know this is your space to complain about me if 511 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,680 you want and things that maybe I didn't do perfectly. 512 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,840 There is no perfect and there's no like JJ Elliott says in her 513 00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,280 book. There are no rules for this. 514 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:40,560 There's no wrong way. As long as you're doing your 515 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:44,800 best, you love your kids, you're trying to be the parent for them 516 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,720 that they need the most, and that's all you can do. 517 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,960 I'm proud of us for this last year. 518 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,840 We've worked really hard and we'll continue to work hard to 519 00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,200 bring you guys more episodes. We're excited for this next 520 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,800 year. As long as you've listened to 521 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,760 one episode, you can go on Apple Podcast and rate and review. 522 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:07,080 And we need those reviews. So send a a review through Apple 523 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,280 Podcast. It helps us out tremendously. 524 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,360 If you're listening on another platform, I know that you can 525 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:14,800 rate US there. I'm not sure about reviews, but 526 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:20,720 share us, like us, review us, rate US, follow us on social 527 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:24,160 media and DM us. We love to hear from you and 528 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:24,880 we're here to help.