This is every Widow thing. This episode is brought to you
in part by Meredith Schlosser, expert real estate agent in the
Los Angeles area. And whether you're looking to
sell or buy or want a great recommendation for agents all
over the world, she's got you. Welcome back to another episode
of Every Widow Thing. I'm very excited for our guest
today. It's Tiffany Rampy.
She's a fellow widow, and she also has an Instagram account
called Rebuilding Joy. And I came across her story and
was so interested because she took her grief journey on a real
journey. Thank you so much for taking the
time. I know you're super, super busy.
You've got three children or no. I'm sorry, I have three
children. You have two.
Kids, Two kids. She gave one on the trip.
That's right. I'm giving you one of mine I
want to jump right into because we are obviously every widow
thing. I want to just have you share a
little bit of your own widow story.
Yeah, So my husband and I were married for 14 years.
The kids were three and no, sorry, five and seven at the
time of his death. So he died very suddenly at the
beginning of COVID, not from COVID, but from acute
pancreatitis that just pretty much crept up out of nowhere.
And you know it was a a 24 hour turn around really from being
totally fine and having a lovely afternoon together into the
hospital and then getting that 3:00 AM call that you see in the
movies. You know those first few hours
you just do a lot of this cannot be my life and questioning every
single thing and what's going to happen and total shock and.
He was only, what, 39? He was 39.
I was 37 at the time. Yeah, we all have suffered from
the the sudden loss. All of our husbands died
suddenly and we were, you know, on the younger side with young
kids. So we definitely understand what
you were going through and it's it's been three years now.
It'll be four years in May, actually.
Oh wow, yeah. And how how was that first year
for you? Because I know what I think
about you from your Instagram stories and your your account
and you seem very brave and outgoing and take risks and want
to have fun and live life to the fullest.
Was that your response right away?
No, definitely not. I mean, you know, that first
year just felt like wading through mud in a puddle of my
own tears, sort of. Right.
I I. And you had a 5 and a 7 year
old, I mean that's so young. Oh yeah, there were very little.
I kept saying to myself, he's not going to be 5 forever.
He's not going to be 5 forever. He was very challenging and she
was too, you know, it's it was a hard time.
We had a really amazing support community.
So I know everybody doesn't have that, and I did, and so I'm
thankful for that. But you know, you just feel like
you can hardly breathe most of the time.
So when did it change? Because how did travel come in
for? So for people that don't know
Tiffany, her Instagram account has been following all of her
travel adventures and she has been inspiring a lot of people
to get out and travel solo with their children.
To put the widow aspect on it as well, I think just adds another
layer for a lot of people. You become frozen after
something like that and fearful. So can you talk a little bit
about how that came about and your healing process?
Yeah, well, like I said, my community was so amazing.
So I have this cousin who was at the time single and a little bit
in between things and she just said I'll come stay with you for
as long as you need me to. And I said yes, please come, but
let's go to Colorado. Like I just I I was sort of just
in full flight mode. So he died May of 2020, the
beginning of June. As soon as school let out, we
just drove cross country, stayed for about 3 weeks and you know,
just got away. And you also had the pandemic to
try to manage on top of that. That's crazy.
That's. Extra challenging?
Yeah, it was. Although I have to tell you, I
was sort of just like whatever, you know, like put on the masks,
sanitize your hands, We are going.
Right. Well, the great thing about
Colorado, we were in Colorado for about a month that summer
and it's people are outdoors, you're hiking, you're keeping
distance on the trail, but there's more opportunity to be
outside. Right.
In a way, the pandemic, I think, because one of my reactions was
just bring my little family in closer and you kind of had
permission, you know, without having to ask for permission
because people just weren't getting together.
They couldn't come over. And you know, Lacey was rolling
off her couch to try to avoid people coming by her house.
They were knocking on the door and she's like rolling away.
I'm. Crawling right?
You didn't really have to deal with any of that.
But it's true, Colorado. What?
What did you do then? We just did a lot of hiking you
know enjoying the outdoors but it just that just sort of
started something where even on the tiniest because this was
just like a month after I could just feel like OK that like
seeing the beauty in the world is helpful.
It's a reminder that even though I am in the total muck that
there, there are still beautiful things and I can't ignore them.
Right. So that really helped me.
And then the following summer I just said we're actually going
to leave for the whole summer and we did a huge round the
country road trip. We travelled about 6000 miles in
the car and. And you planned all that
yourself? I did.
I mean, you know, I grabbed people to come with us along the
way for some of the journey. So some of the legs, my parents
came, I had my brother-in-law came for some.
But really I was just like, this is something we had always done
as a family. I didn't want to stop and I knew
it was good for us to get away and to keep seeing the world.
But that just kind of kept spiraling and getting bigger and
bigger until I was like, let's just take the whole year and go
around the world. Right.
Which is so crazy. I get trip anxiety.
I had a little trip anxiety before my husband died.
But after he died, I really, you know, that controlling thing
tried to kick in and you can't control everything when you're
traveling, especially with kids. So it for me, it was more like,
Oh no, I'm not going to do any of that.
I would tack on with somebody else, like they were taking a
family trip and I'd be like, hey, you mind if we join in, you
know, So I didn't have to plan anything.
So to take that on is pretty impressive.
So what did your kids think about all of this travel because
the summer I can see, because everybody takes summer trips,
but like during the the world trip, leaving school?
And all of that and their friends and their routines.
Yeah, it started as summer, summer travel.
And so they were find that there were always contingencies like
mom, I want to be home by my birthday or I want to be home
for this event. So we kind of worked around that
and when the idea of the year off.
So the plan coming into this year is that my daughter was
going to be in 6th grade and my son in 3rd.
And so it just seems like sort of the last chance to be able to
do something like this. Like she was going into middle
school and I've been a fourth grade teacher most of my career,
so I was like, I can still handle 6th grade stuff.
Math, but actually. Yeah, just barely.
But you definitely. Have a leg up being an educator
because I wouldn't know how to do that.
No clue. Yeah, that's true.
But when I got the idea, and I'm kind of like the person, like
once the idea goes in my head, I just, I'm just like, let's just
go for it. So I tried to proposition it to
them like it was their idea. Oh, hilarious, I thought.
Teacher. I'm gonna take that in maybe a
little. Late.
I just told them I saw something amazing on Instagram today and I
was telling them about this other family who was travelling
and they were like, that's so cool.
And I was like, should we do that?
And they're like, yeah, Mom, can we?
And you're like you wouldn't be already packed.
Up at the corner, right? Yeah, you already packed up, so
let's go. What?
Were your friends and family saying because they had to?
I would think at least some people would be concerned and
worried that maybe you were making these big decisions in a
in a time in your life when you shouldn't be making any big
decisions. Yeah, I mean, I think because we
had been through, you know, at this time about almost three
years already of traveling and we had gone internationally,
just the three of us. And so it sort of proven that we
were capable of traveling, the three of us.
But mostly my parent, I mean, all my friends and everybody
else was like, this is so cool, Go, I'm proud of you.
My mom was like, don't go, don't go, don't go.
Right. My dad was more like talk me
through all of the safety precautions that you have
planned and make sure you register with the embassy.
You know, he was very practical. Oh wow.
I never. I never even thought about the
embassy. There's just so much plan like
healthcare, I kept thinking about that you can have those
plans that you can get through your healthcare system, but
every country so different and you went to some countries that
I don't know anything about. So I wouldn't even know if
someone got sick. Where what?
What would I do? Did anybody get sick on any of
the trips? We were very, very fortunate.
The only sickness we had was a migraine headache.
And I mean, and maybe that was my daughter who was like.
Ours that are rambling around the world with your children.
Would think. Is it scary going into different
countries with the language barrier and just, you know, as a
single mom with your kids? Yeah.
So the previous, so last summer in the summer of 20.
Let's see, what year is it now, 24. 24 We don't know exactly.
We still claim widow brain, yeah?
Let me start over, you can edit that up.
OK. So last summer in 2022 we
travelled to Spain and Portugal and did like a month long road
trip there and that was sort of my tester to see you know, how
is it travelling internationally with the kids also personally I
had travelled to Honduras several times when I was in my
20s, so I was familiar with Central America.
I speak a pretty good amount of Spanish and I don't have a lot
of fear. I just don't carry a lot of fear
as a human, so and. That I'm shocked.
That didn't change after, because you know, for a lot of
people, when your husband dies, suddenly there becomes this idea
that something bad could happen at any moment.
I'm actually really impressed by that, the fact that you didn't,
because trauma usually does rewire the brain and fear gets
introduced. So that I want to know your
secret. I I I don't have a secret.
I just feel like for me it worked out like we were living
life in a quote UN quote Safeway and he died and I had 0 control
over that. And so if I was going to then
live in fear that all of my loved ones could die any moment,
I might as well make the most of every day and go out and take
hold of it. And that's just kind of what I
would have been driven by, I think, since he died.
Was there any moment on a trip when you did think you were
going to die? No.
What about the laptop situation? Like those kind of things?
I don't know. I do have fears from trauma, so
I'm learning from you because I would really like to be able to
change that that dialogue in my head and the when the thing
happened with the computer, that would just be like, OK, of
course that happens. Everybody tells you be careful
in Rio. So what happened in Rio is we
had an overnight flight into the city and then we arrived at
like, you know, 6:00 AM or something, got picked up by an
Uber cause. In theory, Uber's safer 'cause.
It's like vetted and, you know, reviews and everything.
But we were so tired and the airport in Rio is an hour from
where we were staying in Copacabana.
So we. All sing the song the.
Whole time I was there, I know. So we were sitting in the in the
cab and I had my backpack between my legs.
But I was in the middle and the kids were on either side of me
and we were all just like sleeping.
And I think the cab driver just reached in my backpack and that.
Is crazy. And and I wasn't afraid.
I was just like, oh, that was so stupid.
I knew to be more careful in Reno and I fell asleep and it
was right there. So I just, you know, I wasn't
more afraid for my life because of that.
I was like, this is the petty theft that everybody told me
about and I wasn't cautious enough.
And then what do you do? Cuz it's not like, I mean, maybe
there is an Apple store or something and you just walk over
and pick up a new one. But this is also what you do.
You have an Instagram, so that's a big part of your quote job.
I just only did work I could do on my phone for the next 4 weeks
until I got home for the holidays and then I repurchased
Oh my God, it was more of a oh crap moment.
Like I just wasted $2000, right? Hey guys, Whitney here and I'm
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Meredith or reaching out to her, please let her know that you
heard it here on every Widow thing.
And now back to the episode. I don't.
I know. We've talked about it on our
podcast that when we return from Trips and you don't have your
husband, coming back into the home was always a little
daunting to me, so I liked being gone.
Any chance I could be gone, I would take it.
Think Kira definitely had that way in the world too, but how
did you feel when you would return from those?
Trips. Yeah, for a long time that was
really hard. Even like going to the park and
coming home at the beginning, I remember being hard.
Yes, big huge trip let down. And like, you know, it's like
reopening A wound when you walk in the door and you're like,
he's supposed to be here. He's still not here.
Like your brain expects it that he's going to be there.
I'd say that lasted probably until we came back from Spain,
so until we went on our big, big trip.
And then once we had come back from then from that trip, I was
in another relationship and so I had another human who I was
expecting to see and waiting. Yeah.
So we hear congratulations are in order that you recently
engaged and we're all just awesome.
Like, how did you manage dating and beginning a new relationship
in the middle of all of your travel adventures and
homeschooling your kids or? The the question in and of
itself, which lends to like there's too much going on there
is ended up being why we came home early because the travels
were amazing and wonderful and super hard, but really was like
so hard to maintain a healthy relationship while on the other
side of the world. But he and I actually started
dating just about a year after my husband passed.
And I don't know if you all know this, but I host a podcast
called Dating After Death. Yeah, you do.
So how did you guys meet? We met on Hinge.
So did my fiance plug for Hinge I.
Guess I could get. On hinge.
Hinge is where it's at, ladies. Yeah.
So how long did you how long did it take before you knew he was
like your? Person oh gosh.
I mean, there was a lot of, there's a lot of up and down.
I think the answer to that is more in like if if you really
want to know all the roller coaster of it, you could listen
through the seasons of that that show.
But it's just so complicated. Those of you who have done it or
are doing it like dating after losing your spouse is is mind
boggling sort of. I would say we were both very
committed. I think being away and having
this time where where I was gone, gone made us really
realize like, Oh no, we want this every day, all the time.
And when I came home for Christmas just a few months ago,
we I decided like this has been enough.
We miss each other. It's time to, like, commit to
this instead of some arbitrary goal of making it around the
world and hitting a certain amount of countries right.
But you did, you did go around the world and how many
countries? How many countries?
Nine or something. Like that Nine.
Yeah. Including one that I went to
just by myself, but yeah. That's incredible.
So back to the Instagram. One of the things that resonated
with me a lot, because I traveled a lot too.
I had huge escapism. In fact when I was, I was
injured in the car accident that took my husband and I was in the
hospital for weeks and weeks and on a lot of medication.
And I had all these delusions of moving to Hawaii, which I had
never visited. And I was telling people all
these things when I was on drugs in the hospital that like I was
going to just run, take the kids and just vanish off the face of
the earth and just run away. So I'd.
I get that desire so much really resonate with that whole like
fight or flight and just kind of feeling better when you're away.
But one of the things that I also experienced was when I was
in a beautiful place that reminded me of my husband.
It was almost like a religious experience where I was feeling
close to him, like standing on a beach or in a mountain.
And you mentioned in your Instagram, I don't have the
quote in front of me, but it was something really beautiful about
how it started as running away from the pain.
And then in the end you realize that you were bringing him with
you, which I thought was really touching and moving.
Yeah, I have that same experience.
I think that's why for for so long I went to the sunrise every
morning or most mornings because we were living by the lake and I
could just pop over there and it was like I sat there and
watching the sunrise I felt like I was getting this little
glimpse of heaven and I feel like it was a way to sort of
spend time with him. And you know that was my also my
time to spend with God and I just it it felt very enriching
right. And just like again about the
beautiful things. You know it's it just it's also
sort of puts things in perspective right to see the
rest of the world and how so many people are dealing with so
many large challenges and. You know, and there's this
endless world to explore and to see.
And I don't know, for me, it made me feel like I don't want
to under undersell the difficulty of widowhood, right?
But like, for me, I really put it in perspective like, OK, lots
of people are going through challenging things and we are.
We're going to make it. We're a big world out there,
yeah. Well, and I love that you're
you're dressing. I mean, look, it's not like
you're healed and, you know, everything's happy and you're
getting remarried and we're a new family.
I mean, you're still, you still have your days.
And I would imagine I had a lot more days when I was travelling
with my kids by myself, you know, because there wasn't my
husband there. I mean, I got cussed out in the
Louvre by one of my kids. You know, how were the kids with
all of this travel and being away from their what they know?
Because was it you, Lacey, that said something?
Yeah, my son is an introvert and he's, well, he's in college now
in London, so he's having to get over it.
But he didn't like change. And so the therapist that I had
said you're going to have to be very different than because I
like to escape. I wanted to go all the time, but
he was not going to thrive in that environment at all.
So I had to be more grounded and be home a lot more.
I just wondered how your kids were, what their personalities
were like. I think the experience of
traveling full time was a lot harder than I thought it was
going to be. Like I I even remember hearing
some travel families say like, oh, those were the best years of
our life, but they were the hardest.
And I remember thinking like, what could be so hard?
Oh, happening all over the place.
Like, seeing the world sounds amazing.
And really, I think it was, it was them genuinely missing their
friends. And then the only way they could
miss their friends was like, by talking online.
And then I felt guilty, 'cause they were on their devices and I
was like, we're in Ecuador, get off your screen, you know?
But they were like, but that's where my friends are, you know?
So there was a really hard push and pull between like
remembering this wasn't vacation and they still needed their
social outlet and we still wanted to see the places we
were, but not like at vacation speed.
It was just. How long did you stay in each
spot? Yeah, it kind of varied.
So Ecuador, we stayed the longest.
We were there for a month. Most other places we were there
two to three weeks. But there were some other things
I just didn't really plan well, Like Ecuador was probably our
hardest month. And I think we were in this
apartment building, and it was filled with sort of retired
expats, American expats who did not want children in their
building. And even though we were very
respectful and quiet, there were like, complaints because my kids
were hanging out on the rooftop deck by themselves.
And, you know, they're 11:00 and 9:00.
It's not like they're causing commotion.
But so I was like, OK, they have nowhere to go outside.
They need to talk to their friends.
There are no toys here. I can't just let them wander in
the city, you know? So that part, it was just very,
it was challenging. And I think it's not really
natural to spend that much time with your kids.
Right, right. Yeah.
Even now with my big kids, so mine are what are they?
They're 2018 and 14. We just did a Costa Rica 910
days at the holidays and that was plenty.
And then they want to get home. They want to see the dogs, they
want to see their friends, They want to get their space from
their siblings. I think one thing that happens
when you're widowed, when you lose your spouse is you get real
close, real fast with your kids. I mean, my kids and I, we are
tight because we went through this horrific thing together and
we miss this person together and you get really close with them,
but they definitely, they definitely need their space and
the friend piece I would think would be and that would have
been hard being away like that. Like we are close but almost too
much like to the point where I especially when we came back and
over the holidays and everything, I was just realizing
like they are too dependent on on my pension.
And you know my son is very chatty and he is used to having
happy audience at all times. But you know I'm like you you
first of all you can't have my attention all the time.
Like when when then my fiance comes into the picture.
It's hard for him, for my kids to share my attention And I'm
like, no, we need to like find sort of a share, share each
other situation here. That makes a lot of sense.
My fiance has a daughter and she's an only child of divorced
parents and so it's she's used to I think having a lot more
focus on her and her needs met or mine like basically raised
themselves after my husband died.
I was like I don't have time for that or the energy no.
But it is just a different dynamic when they're used to
having more attention and like needing and then you bring you
know I I sometimes try to figure out where my role is with with
her and her dad right. Like, she's super, super close
with her dad and likes to have a lot of his attention and energy,
which I appreciate. But yeah, you have to find a
balance. We're trying to figure that out
now like he's doing a little acting out I think because he
has to share my attention. So we're trying to figure out,
right, like, OK, how much one-on-one time do I give him
every day so he feels satisfied that the rest of the time he has
to share me and. I have a question about the
relationship side of it because I we've all dated and the thing
that I and we have one that's engaged obviously in the group,
but it's hard to. I talked to a widower friend of
mine who's remarried and he said that it's hard in that situation
because you want to be able to honor your past but also not
alienate the person in your present.
It's a fine, you know, dance there.
So how do you manage all of that?
I think to his credit really knows the importance of of my
late husband. Mike's like legacy and and it's
part of my story, but in my kids life too.
Yeah. I also will say, you know, it's
not like I talk about Mike all the time because I think there's
a certain level of respect for him, right?
Where I if I'm telling a story that Mike was involved in, I
never would shy away from saying, oh, we did this and we
went there and this was a place of ours.
But like he had, he doesn't. My my fiance, who?
Actually, this is news, but we actually just got married this
past weekend, 'cause we're about to move in to.
Congratulations. Thank you.
So we just did a small wedding here.
First started here first, yeah. But so my now husband, he, you
know, there's nothing in him that feels like jealous of my
relationship with Mike. You know, he knew it was
beautiful. I think he recognizes it's part
of who I am and who we are as a family.
Does he have a brother? I was just going to say.
That. Because we're single.
We're like, he sounds amazing, yeah.
He does. I have found that it's so
important, like as the relationship, as my relationship
became more serious and there was more foundation built and
more trust there that, yeah, the same thing.
Like they're, they welcome it just like any other piece of
your history. And you don't want to be
tiptoeing around your partner. Like, oh, can I, can I talk
about Frank? Can I tell that story?
I was just in New York City this past weekend with Brendan, with
my fiance and a bunch of my husband's friends from Graduate
School at a party. And it was a blast.
And they were in that moment, in that magical evening, they were
both honoring. You're talking to me about
stories from from Business School about Frank.
And then they were also like, Oh my gosh, we love Brendan, He's
awesome. And it was sort of like the
world's Clyde and it was a really special moment for me.
My mother-in-law, my, my late husband's mother, she was at the
wedding yesterday or on Monday, like she was one of like 40
guests, right? Because we've stayed close and
everybody just knows that this is, you know?
Well, and they want you to be happy.
I mean you know your your in laws that's incredible where
you're. I'm assuming your kids were
there. Oh yeah, of course.
It was not a surprise to them, right?
I think that's really cool that your mother, your mother-in-law
was there because that's, I mean, this was her son and it's,
I can't imagine losing a child. So I put myself in thinking
about her and that's just very cool and supported that.
She wants to see you happy again.
That's really neat. So back to the travel, because
so you have the dating podcast, then you have the Travelling
around the world, Instagram, and then you also have a new
venture, or I don't know how new IT is called Widows in the Wild,
which sounds really fun. Tell us a little bit about that.
Yeah. So the first widows in the wild,
actually we went to Costa Rica in April of 2023 and it was
just, it was really just like I had heard on Instagram, people
were traveling in groups and and I hosted this one through dating
after death when I was still in an anonymous entity.
But it's people were so hungry to travel with somebody, you
know, because when you usually travel with your spouse, right.
And then when you lose them, it's like, oh, I still want to
go, but I don't want to go alone.
So I I launched this trip anonymously and it booked up
very quickly and just had such an amazing time on that trip.
You know, those girls and I all still talk on WhatsApp regularly
and, you know, share each other's wins and frustrations
and all of that. So then I, I don't know if
you're familiar with Dana Frost. She's at the Forest Joy Project.
She and I both have a real love for travel and she was on the
Costa Rica trip and we got to talking and just said, like,
let's do this together. Let's let's host as many trips
as we can and get them around the world and hopefully do some
in the States and some internationally.
And that's amazing. So we're about to do 2 trips to
Bali 2 back-to-back weeks because the first one sold out
in like 6 hours. Oh wow, how many spots are these
trips usually? The Bali trip kept out at 20 I
think, and then this summer we have a trip to Italy that was
kept out at 24. Is it just all widows or are
there widowers included also? Yeah, so we opened up the so
Costa Rica was only women and we opened up this one to anybody in
the community who wanted to come and we have like 2 guys signed
up, so. Well, they're smart.
They have a bunch of little ladies then.
I was going to ask that, yeah. Yeah, I think the Italy trip, we
have one one brave man coming. So the beauty is it's organized
through an organization called Trova Trip and they do all of
the itinerary planning. So I just put a out, Dana and I
will put out a survey to the community and say you know where
do you want to go, when are you available, how long, what's your
budget? And then we try to pick based on
what the community wants. And so pretty soon I think we'll
be looking at 2025 and getting new dates on the calendar and
opening up trips soon. So it just is a really
fulfilling thing for all I think that would be involved.
And I can't remember were you this?
Were you also considering doing something where it's with the
families, like the moms and? Children really want to.
That's kind of like the next arm of the business I'd like to
start is sort of like a pop up hubs that could be hosted by
different people that would welcome families in and yeah, so
I'm sort of envisioning how to facilitate that.
I'm sure a lot of listeners want to know how you just took up and
travelled around the world, and maybe you can share some of your
favorite travel tips. Yeah.
How did you afford to do this? Yeah, so on the practical side,
so my husband worked in finance, he had a corporate job and so he
paid the maximum into Social Security, which means I get the
kids get the maximum survivors benefits.
So the amount of money I get in every month from Social Security
is not a small amount. It covers my mortgage and
probably my car payment. That is obviously a ton of
security for me. So I planned to I set up my
house for Airbnb, which was not a small thing, if anybody's
thinking of doing that. Was one of my questions all
about Airbnb and? It is so much work.
Well, how did your kids feel about that?
They were fine because they knew.
They knew we weren't selling the house right.
They knew it was still ours and even still we've we've now
purchased a house with my husband and we are moving and
so, but I still haven't sold the old house.
We're going to just continue to rent it out.
So while you're on these trips, you're Airbnb ING it.
I hired a property manager so I am hands off with the house.
So once like it was set that's it.
He does everything. So that money really covered
sort of the house expenses. So now the Social Security
money's helping with income. So in addition I like I have a
few side hustles right? Like the podcast brings in a
little bit of money and I do this work with travel freely to
help people with like affordable travel and how to use the points
and miles system to travel for like which.
Is very overwhelming. Can can be you know the place.
I've been doing some consulting just with individual people
about how to sort of. Work the travel points.
Navigate. That's right.
No, but like a little side
hustles, but I will also say just because I think it's only
fair that we did have life insurance.
And so there was a large lump sum payout, which I was not
using for this, but of course gave me a safety net that I
don't know if I didn't have that, if I would have been
willing to take the risk to. Do you have mentioned before
about using your credit card points?
Can you talk a little bit about how that has helped you with
these adventures? Oh yeah, yeah, for sure.
Basically the system works in that you sign up for.
So there's like a few essential criteria, Like you shouldn't
have any debt, you should be able to pay off every month and
you should have a good credit score like above 700.
And if those things are in line, then you sign up for a new
credit card with a good bonus offer and they offer you points
that go into this bank system, right?
So let's say you signed up for Capital One's card.
Maybe it has an annual fee that can be offset in certain ways.
And if you spend $4000 / 3 months, which when you think of
it isn't really that much money if.
You're putting everything on there for a. $100 a month?
Yeah. Then just in regular spending,
so not like extra money. Then they'll give you 60,000
points into their into their bank right of points.
Those points can be transferred to lots of different airlines or
hotel brands, and they can be used for travel.
And it's through that credit cards travel benefits.
So you're doing it all through the credit card?
You can, you can book all through the all through Capital
One. They have a search engine just
like Expedia or whatever. Or you can take those points and
say I'm going to send these to Air France and I'm going to fly
round trip to Europe for, I don't know, it varies, right.
But maybe I'll fly round trip to Europe for 45,000 points, right?
Right. So in that one credit card where
you've gotten these points, you've now you now have a free
round trip tip ticket to Europe. In the first year that I did
this, I probably took about I think legs of flights.
I took like 12 legs of flights and it ended up being like $25
per leg because I was using all these points and miles to to
fly. So the goal was to accrue enough
points to get around the world for, you know, maybe a few $1000
each and it was it was doable. I haven't totally crunched the
numbers yet, but I think we're at a under $2000 each to travel
for six months around the world. Wow.
I don't even know how you did that.
My brain explodes. Just there must not be a
Starbucks anywhere. You can 'cause my kids can drop
that at Starbucks like in a weekend.
No, no, no, that's I just mean for flights, not like
everything. That was just I really love the
planning portion like, you know, searching and finding the best
deals every once in a while. I like open slots of card
consultations, just for free. So like, you know, I'll meet
with people and tell them, like here's the best card to sign up
for now. And you know, because I'm an
affiliate with Travel Freely, I get a tiny kickback.
But it's totally free to you, so.
Yeah. And you offer people I I know on
your Instagram, which is rebuilding joy rebuilding dot
joy. You can.
I got a little one sheet that was very easy to understand and
this is probably this is an easy card to start with and don't
forget this And so you can definitely get some free
information from Tiffany, which is very, very kind of you
because it is overwhelming. If you want to send Adm and just
ask for the the travel guide, I'd be happy to send it over.
The travel guide. All right, a couple of quick
questions. I mean, you know, quick.
But as a widow, what, what advice would you give to a new
widow that's just starting their journey?
What have you learned in your short amount of time as a widow?
I think two major things. One is take as much time off
from work as you can there if if you're financially able.
For me it was really, I mean I was a classroom teacher so it's
insanely overwhelming to try to do that and probably not a great
idea. But I think a lot of things
change in your head and and what you enjoy and what you are
passionate about and you need time to figure that out.
And the second big thing I would say is say yes to all the help
that's offered and don't be afraid to ask for help.
People want to help. What advice would you give
someone new to traveling with their kids solo?
What? Do we need to do?
I think, I think it's a really good idea to travel somewhere
you're familiar with first and kind of work your way into
something that might be a little bit more of a risk.
I would also say that the unknown is scary, but usually
once you arrive, like do your research, know where you're
going and how to get around and the safety of places and but
like once you arrive you realize like, oh, this is just another
place in the world and it's not scary, it's just different.
Right. It's such a good lesson for the
kids, too. A lot of people ask me about the
language barrier and I just feel like because of it's the day and
age we live in, there just isn't a language barrier in the world.
Like Google Translate, it solves everything.
What was your favorite place, your best experience that you
would like to go back to? So if I had to pick a place to
go back to tomorrow, I'd probably go back to this little
town in Brazil called Itakare. It's like a few hour flight from
from anywhere really in in Brazil.
But it was just this tiny little town with no chain anything.
It was like a surf town and you could walk everywhere and I
could give my kids money and say go to the grocery store with
this list. And they went by themselves at
11 and nine years old. And it just, and it's filled
with like music and dance and capoeira and the beach and the
sunset and it's sort of like very.
Magical. One last question that I have.
To me, I've I feel like I'm seeing a lot of blessings that
have come out of this trauma, and I just wanted to know your
thoughts on that. Yeah, I think, you know, we kind
of tiptoe around that, right? Because we don't want it to seem
like there's a silver lining. The biggest thing immediately
for me was just the love and generosity of people, you know?
I mean, people rushed to our side and even the people who say
let me know what I can do to help, like I've never been a
cynical person in response to that that 'cause I know they
really do want to help and we don't know what to say as a
society, right? So yeah, it's sort of annoying
and you want them to be specific and just do it.
But it also I'm just like everybody is desperate to help
and I did not find that after a year my support went away.
I felt like people maybe because I'm very vocal about what I need
and I asked for help and still continue to.
Sometimes people showed up, you know, and my relationships with
my girlfriends really deepened. My husband and I were sort of
like each other's everything. And after, after he died, I just
like my friendships developed so beautifully.
And yeah, I think there's been a lot.
There have been a lot of really beautiful things in life since
his death. Yeah.
Do you get signs from him? Are you do you hear, hear.
Sometimes I'll hear, you know, just in my own head, like my my
husband, given his opinion on some things.
I what? Early on, I felt that a lot.
Most recently I was actually just recently I was at church
and I had this vision like, I don't this doesn't happen for me
a lot, but I'm going to share it anyway.
I had this vision of thinking about Mike in heaven and then
thinking about when my now new husband arrived in heaven, like
he and I together and I just hugging him and saying like.
Thank you for taking. Care of her and for loving her
and. That now you're going to make me
cry. That was awesome.
Yes, that's a beautiful vision
and I had 100% believe that that, that that will be true.
I liked her trauma response. I'm going to take that with me
today to people. No Fear.
Yeah, No Fear. Thank you so much, Tiffany
again. If you'd like to follow Tiffany
and her amazing journey, she's got two Instagram accounts,
rebuilding dot joy and dating after death.
Go in and check out what is in the wild.
You might have four people trying to get in on that next
trip. And congratulations to you on
your new relationship and everything that you've done to
keep going. Very inspiring.
Thank you so much.