You found us. I'm so glad you did.
But I am sorry that you had to. Who are we?
I'll tell you what. We're not.
We're not old. We're not boring, and we're not
giving up. So come on into our widows
Circle. Where trauma meets humor and we
remind you that you can not only survive.
But Thrive, this is every Widow thing.
Welcome to this episode of Every Widow thing.
My name is Whitney Yeah, and there are three other widows
here. Introduce yourselves.
I'm Kira. I'm Holly, I'm Lacey.
We're not going to do that every time.
It's sometimes I feel like it's important because with four
voices, you know, you know, which one is yours.
It can get mixed up today, we thought we would mix it up a
little bit. Most of our themes are heavy
because we're talking about death and it can get very heavy.
So we decided that for this episode, we're going to try to
keep it light and then you go to What's light about being a
widow, there ain't much to talk about.
But one of the things that I love to talk about are the signs
that I get from my husband. So we thought it might be fun to
talk a little bit about the idea of messages from the other side,
from specifically our husbands and it just ties in perfectly
because I'm reading this book right now, ironically called
signs, the secret language of the Reverse by Laurel in Jackson
and for those of you who have been listening, you know, that I
Whitney em all about that side, that spiritual Soulful side
talking. I love talking to mediums and
getting my palm read and all of those things.
So we're going to let the other widows talk a little bit first.
So, first of all, what do you guys was that something that you
thought of fairly quickly after your husband died?
Or was it something that that you never think about?
Give me a little insight into what you guys feel about signs.
Kind of feel like once the shock were off because shock lasts
about six weeks and sudden death.
So I read, I read it. I did the opposite.
I did a lot of reading of understanding what happens with
trauma, with the trauma part of it.
And also, when they die like, what's happening to the body, I
think it was easier for me, to process the Pain by going into
my head. But as soon as that were off, I
started looking for signs because I was looking for any
type of Peace and comfort, and like, you, I believe in God, but
I was angry. I was angry at him for all that
had happened, bro. I don't know if you guys
experienced that too, I was too very angry.
So you weren't looking. You weren't thinking, I wasn't
looking at the time because I was angry but I did have a
friend that recommended a medium and Austin, that brought a lot
of peace. Because you got to feel like you
were hearing from Toby. Yes, through the, the meeting
like the things. She knew she didn't know
anything about me. She didn't even know my last
name when I went in and she started talking about the
accident and like details that, I'm like, she would never have
known that. So that's when I kind of started
that kind of opened up the idea in your head of, oh, maybe he's
trying to talk to me, but you hadn't had any sensation before
that. No, but she told me that he gave
me signs in the hospital. And so then I was like, Scott
trials, I was like, what were they, what were they?
And she didn't. She never told you.
She didn't know, she didn't know.
But he told her that he was trying to give you some signs
when things happen that fast because people don't realize in
sudden death. And it's instant like it was for
all well, definitely us three, you had not much time, but a
little bit there's no time to think I'm going to pee.
Attention to anything. I was so grateful for the
shocked because I didn't feel much well in this book that I'm
reading. It does talk about how right
away they are trying to send us messages because they want to
comfort us because they're fine. They're over there, full body,
full Heart, full emotion, full lightful, everything, and we're
the ones that are feeling terrible and anything but hole
and so they're trying to bring us some comfort and joy.
So tell me Holly have you had a sign while, I've had a couple of
the big one that stands out is, I was moving game.
My college 20 year old this past August and when you're moving
your college age kids don't cry. Like it's emotional when you're
doing it by yourself. Yes.
And and all the other dads are there.
Yes, setting up and helping and carry and The freshman year my
sister helped me and that was in that was 2020.
So I was just so happy. He was going to college right
out of that was during the pandemic, right?
So that year was okay. And then second year, there's a
little bit of drama. I panicked a little bit but then
lat third year he was moving into a house.
So we're moving furniture. He was driving the U-Haul.
I was driving my car by myself and I just like broke down on
the Way, driving up to Fort Worth and I was like, crying.
I think I called you crying. I don't know.
I was calling people crying. And I was just panicked because
I was like, how are we going to put all this Akia Furniture
together, so stupid. So anyway, everyone into a
panic. So I pull in, I got to the house
first and I was waiting, you know, pulled in, and I'm like,
sitting in the driveway by myself cry.
Sighing and Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles came on and that
was a song that was played at his memorial.
See you immediately felt I was like Homer, I got this.
Yeah. I felt a little calm when you
said that because I was always hold my breath.
When you guys are telling your stories, don't know why I find
myself doing that I guess because it's emotional.
Yeah, it is emotional. What about you Kira?
What do you feel about signs? Was it something obviously, in
your case, you We're in the hospital for quite some time.
You had to just focus on the physical here and now yeah I
think I don't know if I was looking for signs per se I had a
strong urge to know that he was. All right.
I kind of had this feeling I also you know believe in God
grew up Christian wasn't really connecting with God and those
moments but I was trying to connect with Frank for sure.
Sure. And I was in the hospital for
many weeks and there was just a lot of, like, a Fugue state
where I was in and out of surgery, and I was on medication
and I had some emergency situations even within the
hospital where I was in trouble, and a lot of in and out of sleep
and Consciousness. And so there were dreams in
which he came to me quite frequently in the hospital, he
was still alive. I've he, you know, I was so
relieved to see him and maybe that was the sign that he was
okay on the other side. But that was also very painful
because in the dream he would act he would just we were just
be hanging out like everything was fine.
And he would act as though none of this had happened and I would
say but wait, you know, we had this massive car accident and he
would say, what do you mean? Do you know?
And that Then I would wake up and I, you know, had tubes and
casts and bandages and I'm alone and I'm in the hospital room and
so it was like, moments of Joy like, you know, connecting with
him and then harsh reality. So that I don't know if that's a
sign but at least it gave me some reassurance.
I guess just to see his face and yeah I think they do come and
dreams act with him. I think it is a sign.
The confusion for me can be when the Is for them to come, and
bring us comfort and joy. And then that dream actually
does the opposite. Or, you know, Lacey.
You've talked before about your dream situation with Oliver.
They're never good. They're always that he comes
back and he acts as though nothing has happened and I'm
like, where have you been? And he never answers the
question but like, you cara, I did not look for signs early on.
I was just, you know, just trying to get through the day
and maybe it was. I was not that spiritual cause I
was so angry. Right?
But I had one when we talked about, we were going to talk
about signs. I thought about it and yesterday
and then it just kept my brain. Again, that's what happens when
you're a widow. Sometimes you can't remember
things, or maybe it's my age. I don't know.
We're going to go and Widow, Widow, brain, right after Oliver
died. I guess it was just like a month
later. I had to take him to the
pediatrician because Rider had strep to back up.
My husband died of group a strep toxic shot, which we talked
about but my son also had strip at the same time.
So the pediatrician and immediately put him on an
antibiotic, he got better. The problem was, he said you're
going to have to see an ENT. So we went to see the first ENT
and the guy, I'll never forget his face.
He's such a jerk. He said if that kid doesn't get
his tonsils out right away, he's gonna die what and he noted,
however, he already died and he said it knowing knowing and so I
took him outside and we had a chat as you can only imagine
that mana and then I took my son and we left and I immediately
found someone else, dr. Marc Brown.
God love him. I hope he hears this went to see
him and he said, look, yes, he does need to have them out if
it's not today, it's not a month, it's not six months.
If it's a year he said before the year we need to take them
out because they're rather large and he said any keeps getting
sick. So Flash Forward we set up the
surgery and on surgery day a nurse came and got him and said
we're going to take you back to the waiting room of the or and
she let me my sister and my mom. That home.
Let us come in there and be with them.
So, we started talking writers Port, of course, playing his
German Game Boy, that his dad had given him.
He's playing, that seems oblivious to about that.
He's about to have surgery and the nurse introduced her name
and I didn't catch it, but I heard her German accent.
It was super heavy. And I said, where are you from?
And she said, I'm from Germany. And I said, oh, I could tell
that I said, what did you say your name was?
And she said Dagmar when she looked at me and said that, you
know, when someone's looking Look at you and they see see
you. Yeah you know I was getting
chills right now about was Oliver's mother's name.
Oh she died when Oliver was 10 and it was like and I'm still
that day. I saw her looking at me and I
said, you're kidding. And she has, I'm not.
And then she started speaking German to.
My son who'd had three years of German classes, but he wasn't
back if I guess he was like my dad, but you still need to good.
So that's about all I know. So he was Seeing her and then as
they went back they were speaking in his limited German
on the way back and I just got this sense of Peace.
Did you tell her that the nurse? Oh I told her that my late
husband's mother's name was that but she was looking at me as
though she knew. Yeah, it was weird.
Yeah, my sister said, I said, am I imagining that she was no.
She's that's part of, you know, when you think of signs, it
doesn't just have to be like a bluebird that literally lands on
your shoulder, you know, and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
Like, it's, it doesn't have to be.
That would be amazing by the way.
That would be nice but it can be circumstances where, for
example, they bring a person in at the exact right time that has
a tie. Like I'm still getting chilled
restful moment, a stressful moment, rather son's going into
surgery, and had to have surgery right after and I wasn't
prepared for that. It's just scary and put your kid
under Yeah, I was a mess. My kids have both of those two
out of the three have gotten their wisdom teeth.
Pulled. I have been a disaster both
times when the boys went in, because one, I'm by myself,
right? And I'm the emotional one, I
know y'all are shocked, but in the relationship hunt, was the
grounded one. And I was always up here and I
was trying to ground myself and both times, I'm sitting in the
waiting room and our band was Journey Hunter always came to me
through music that That's his main way for us to communicate
is through music and a journey song played both times.
Now, you could say the naysayers or the I rollers, or whatever
out there could be like, okay, well journey is a popular band,
especially now elevator music type, you know, whatever and I'm
like, so, okay fine, one time may be a coincidence but both
times he brought me that calmness through that song.
And I hear that song just over spring break, I was sad.
Because I was skiing with the kids by myself and that's when
it hits you a lot. You know, when you're doing
something as a family and he's not there and so it doesn't feel
like you're with your family fully and I was really bummed
about it and and four different times he brought a journey song
to me and he is he loved Bulleit Bourbon and I see that as a sign
a lot too and we went into our Airbnb and I opened The cabinets
and up at the very top, they were like throw away cups, you
know, like little like plastic cups that most people, it's not
like the Airbnb was like we're going to put these nice plastic
bullet, you know cups or whatever up there.
It was like somebody had just saved them and they were up
there at the very top and and I was like, okay, he's here, it's
not the same. I want him here to help me.
Take these freakin boots off, you know, but it's so much
worse. Oh my God.
Exhausted people. Was those vacations are hard.
Yes, thank you. We are you go alone with your
kid. Part of it.
Is you have no other adult to talk to.
Yes. But I think yeah, it's hard
trying to find other adults to go on vacations really hard
because their kids have to have the same spring break or other
holidays. I've tried to do that and
sometimes it works out, but a lot of times it doesn't so it's
you and your kid. The good news is it's brought I
don't know about you, but it's brought our me closer to my son
will ski together. Sort of, I'm Going in there,
going down the mountain. But you're going down the map.
Yeah, but when we got home, they kind of want to veg in their on
their phone only think in those moments especially like on
vacation be aware and it can be something like sometimes it's
like very specific to you. You talk about there's a license
plate Lacey. You had a nickname for Oliver
that you don't want to share because it's a little But what's
the give us? Give us that story.
Again, I posted on our Instagram.
Every Widow thing that it's happened twice that I was
driving along. Usually it's happening when I'm
kind of upset just thinking guy and I'm talking to myself, I do
that quite a lot. So if you see me in the car and
I'm riding around, I'm not singing I'm actually talking to
myself. Wow slightly things out in my
head but I do it out loud. But this particular day that I
posted it, I ran into a car, I was right behind ahead.
In GB, and that was his nickname in the moment.
I met him. That's what I started calling
him, and it's stuck with him, but I don't want to share it.
I do send, it can be license, plate numbers.
There are some common ones that a lot of people feel red
Cardinals. I just saw one yesterday, you
know, on args ladybugs. I have a bazillion ladybugs.
Music is another one, rainbows have a story.
Okay, share. Yes, we were talking about
spring. Break.
So our spring break plans, got changed due to a tragedy.
So my older Sons one of his best friends mitted suicide.
And so our plans changed, we were at a funeral over spring
break, and I was sitting there with with my son and his two
friends, they were all best friends and We were in Seattle.
So it was cold and rainy. I was like, I stressed over.
What shoes I was going to wear to the funeral.
We are sitting in the in the church and the priest was
talking about my son's friend and his life and there were
windows in the church, the clouds cleared and the sun
blasted through and like shine directly on Gabe and his friend
is so amazing. Amazing.
And I just like looked up and they all they notice it but it
was bizarre. Oh guys, ever talk about it
after that? No, but I will talk to Gabe a
but I mean we were all you know kind of thought about it later
as well. I mean I noticed him down on
these boys. I just I love that and it's in
it. Actually I know so many people
say why don't get any signs but I'm telling you, you are getting
Thing and it's just don't let your brain talk yourself out of
it. It's a song.
Oh come on the radio or you'll have a moment a thought all of a
sudden they'll come into your head and you're like oh well no
that's not them. Yes it is.
Yes it is well and since I met you, I've been better about
that. I had a spring break sign.
Also. And I tend to rationalize
everything like, oh well that's just because this, that and the
other and then I decided this time to just embrace Race it as
you know Frank reaching down and yeah lending a hand.
And so what hat was it? Well as you guys know so my son
Thomas I have the two girls on either side and then I have my
son Thomas in the middle. He's also senior in high school.
We've been going through the college application process,
which has been really stressful and he has really tried to
emulate his dad. He was nine when his father
passed. So he has a lot of memories and
good memories and You know, he plays soccer, because of his
dad, he plays guitar because of his dad and he's very good at
math and at one point along the High School Road decided, you
know, I want to study business, you know, his father has an MBA
from the University of Virginia. Last April, a good friend of
Franks from Darden, business school, reached out and said I'd
like to take Thomas to. His name is also Tom which I
think is kind of cool. That's cool.
I'd like to take Thomas to The Darden reunions with me.
And my daughter and who's also looking at colleges and, you
know, he can meet some of Frank's friends from be school
and see the college and all of that.
And I was just so grateful. Because when someone reaches out
to help, absolutely, I'm already struggling with college visits
and juggling the other two kids. And so I'm like, thank you so
much. That's fabulous.
Thomas would love to go. So he goes to the business
school reunions and gets to meet a lot of people that knew his
dad in an academic setting. Which was kind of cool.
Got him kind of, you know, jazzed about college in general.
And about UVA so fast forward to the fall.
He decides. He wants to early decision to
University of Virginia and unfortunately, he was deferred.
So that was disappointing. And the whole time I'm praying
to Frank, I'm like, okay, Frank just, this is what he wants.
Just throw him the bone, just get them into the school.
Like he's worked really hard. He's such a good kid, he just
wants to follow. In your footsteps so he was
deferred. So we kind of like you know as
you do if you've had a kid go through this process, you kind
of move on. You've continued with your apps,
he got into some other great schools and then over spring
break, I actually wasn't with him.
He was in California with some friends and I get this, you
know, email that the UVA regular decisions coming out and I'm
like, you know what, I'm not even gonna bother Thomas, he's
having fun with his friends, and And we're on the mountain all
day skiing on Friday. I don't have any service up
there, really, so we get down the mountain return, all the,
put the equipment up, get trudged back to the car and this
horrible boots get in the car. And I look at my phone and
there's a text from Thomas that he got into UVA, I know and I
mean I just started bawling and my his sister from backseat like
Mom, Mom Mommy. No, it's wrong.
It's wrong. That is and I'm like, I'm just
so happy for your brother like he, this is something he wanted
and that was like, in my head. I'm with my boyfriend.
So in my mind I'm like thank you Frank for doing this for, for
our son. And anyway, it was just I took
it as a sign. I mean, I could have said oh
well he just worked really hard and he's really good student and
he deserves to go there which he died.
So he's he's pretty excited about The option and you wants
to go take another look. So we might go.
Yeah, you're right. You can make the decision to
say. No, it was, it had nothing to do
with signs but why not believe that it actually does have
something to do with our loved ones?
Of course, these when, when people die their bodies die, the
love that they have their personalities, their that
energy. That's not gone.
And so they still love us. They want to help us Protect us
and support us. I choose to believe that most of
the things that that bring Hunter to my mind are from
Hunter. For example, like I said, hunter
likes to talk to me through the music.
She was very musical, he played the guitar and the drums and but
he's very musically loved music. He was always looking for new
bands and stuff to follow. He was also very athletic.
He was a renaissance man. He did everything.
Well, one of the things that he wanted for our son who was very
athletic, Is soccer and to be on a club soccer team.
So, when we move to Austin, that was something that he wanted for
my son and I said, fine, you can you have to do that.
I got three kids and I'm like, I'm not putting one more thing
on my plate. You can handle that because it's
out of town tournaments and back and forth.
You know, Holly from baseball and stuff and you did club
soccer to co-write so much soccer.
It is ridiculous. So I was like, I'm not doing
that, have fun and then he Died. So guess who's stuck with it?
Me and there was one night, probably two months after Hunter
passed away. So I'm on Southwest Parkway
pitch-black 10:00 at night. I'm exhausted and I'm driving to
pick up Hayden from soccer practice and I just started
dreaming on Hunter. I was just like this is
bullshit. This wasn't part of the plan.
I don't want to do this. I shouldn't be having to do this
and now you've got me doing this and this is This is just so
unfair. And the next song that comes on
the radio is too late to apologize, but I'm not public.
And I just started laughing, I was like, you know what?
It is too late to apologize but well played, you know, and then
I just sang the song as loud as I could and went and picked up
Hayden. But those that is Hunter like
and if you think about your husband and their personalities,
that's also how they're going to give their signs eggs yesterday,
I saw that red cardinal Go out on the tree and I was like, okay
Hunter, if that's, you can, can the bird, please come to the
window sill, can I just get a little closer and I was staring
at the bird and the bird was staring at me and I had this
thought of like, oh no Hunter, doesn't like to do what?
He's told, he's not going to perform, you know, he's not
going to let that bird come closer.
I should just be happy that the birds here, you know?
So that's that's another thing that you need to consider.
When you're considering the person that you want the sign to
come from and it can be, you know, like I said something,
generic a lot of people talk about coins showing up randomly.
I just thought of something it can come through your children.
I don't know if you've seen that.
Yeah, I remember it just came to me just this minute.
Thank you early, and he was an introvert and very quiet polar
opposite of me. So everything was always subtle.
So I the signs, I guess they are subtle but I remember this now,
Now right after he died, I remember crying in the kitchen
and writer was, you know, he's six years old.
So I would let him see me cry a little bit, but never going into
quote, the ugly cry because I just don't want to scare him.
I went in the cotton in the closet exist how it to the
bathtub. And so I was sitting, I did
trying and he was upstairs. That's where his playroom was.
So I could always feel like I could hear him for some reason.
I didn't hear him that day and he came down the stairs, and
he's such a sweet little boy. He goes just let it out Mama and
he took his hand and put it in the small of my bag and yes, up
and down. That's what his dad used to do.
I just got chills. Like, his dad would never come
up and try to fix my problems. Because I hate when people do
that, when you're having just listen, he would always just go,
okay, sweets. And he would kiss me on top of
the head and he would rub in the small of my back and keep going.
And I thought did right or notice that he did that, or did
he do that? And I thought he wouldn't have
noticed that kids don't pay attention to Stuff like that,
how he was 60 in that momentarily, reached the small
of your back problem here. So that all well that's true.
He was really little. He does really little to temper
your head need a ladder. No I think so.
Absolutely Oliver coming through those things are also validation
so that your brain. Can't say, no, that's just a
coincidence. Us all being together is a sign.
I feel like our guys were like, we need to get this.
Are women together. Are so that they can support and
help each other. Now that we're not there, I
don't think it's a coincidence. There's lots of widows that,
especially Lacey, you've been introduced to, you're not
pulling them into a group. No.
You know, there's a reason there are many that I've met that are
really nice people, but you gotta have more than just.
The fact that our husbands are gone, exact be able to hang out
on the do fun. Things with exactly there's a
deeper connection. It's an energy thing that I
think. Car guys have kind of helped
facilitate. I love, I could talk about this
for hours upon hours. I did want to share because I,
because I have heard several times and even some of you in
this group of said, why don't get a lot of signs or maybe I'm
not open enough to it. And so I wanted to, you know,
I'm reading this book Signs by Laurel in Jackson.
It's really awesome. She shares a little bit of how
you can kind of try. First of all, you don't have to
be ready for. Sign.
You don't have to be open necessarily.
I thought that oh, you have to be really open and aware and you
do to see all of them but they're going to get the sign to
you, whether you're ready or not just like that small of the back
sign that you got from Oliver. You weren't necessarily
registering it in the moment but when you look back you
recognize, you know, it's that hindsight is 20/20.
So one of the things that she suggest in the book for Going
for signs is going back and thinking, well, could this
possibly have been hunter or Oliver or Toby are Frank?
And the answer I think is yes, it is, it is.
So that's one way to kind of think.
Well, you are going to have some signs.
So you look back. Another thing that you can do
is, like I said before, if it's in your head, if they come into
your head, that's them. Don't question it.
And some would say, well, aren't you always thinking about them?
It's different, you know what? I'm saying like sometimes Hunter
will come into my head and I just feel his sense of humor or
something. It's not really from me.
Does that make sense? No.
Yes, most of mine comes through. People are some at a life
through my son because they're similar.
Yeah. Just their nuances are very
similar and unlike I don't know about your, your, some of your
kids were older. Writer doesn't remember him.
All that. Well, so the his way in the
world makes me think gosh, is that him?
Or is that just that they're biologically?
Both, I think similar growth, but I have read not in this
book, but in other things that I've read they'll say like if
you see someone, On the street. And it and it looks like your
person take that, as just a little nudge, a hello from them,
or if you see their name, one time I was sitting on on my
porch and this big truck came by and it had Hunter on the side.
I've never seen that truck before.
I don't think I've ever seen it since I say Rider Darkness all
the time. Well, sure.
But if you saw an Oliver, you know, when he was little he
thought those were his eye. Share one more because I know
I'm sharing way too many but this one was really crazy
because I was driving in the car and I can't remember, I think I
was just it was early on and I was sad and I'm listening to the
radio and I just said, you know, I'm just really missing you
right now. I just can you just give me
something and the radio announcer came on and he was
announcing the winner of some contest that they had just had.
And the winner was window. Oil.
Okay, well you ought to know this but that's Hunters.
First name is Wendell and I was like yeah you knew that I don't
know. I didn't remember why I know
that. No.
Because you said oh because when we that's why did they name him
after his grandfather. So y'all can all suck it.
Some people would say, okay, well, but whose how many windows
do you know? Number one, and how many
windows? There's one on Bumble?
What? Right, Holly Holly the whole
nother and we are going out with Wendell Palace.
Don't have a thing about names. She's like I can't go out with
him. His name is Wendell, I went on a
date with a Frank. I was set up with a Frank.
Oh that's funny. And I mean it's a pretty common
name. I remember being really
conflicted about. We just went and had a bite to
eat. It was not a big deal but I
remember being so forthcoming because that was like, why we
like Like, I don't know if I could date another Frank Wright.
How odd with that? Do ya.
We better was in Wendell. Hey, I mean, I don't know if I
could ever data Wendell to be fair.
But well, guess what? You guys I did.
And it was amazing. All right.
Go by with but his yeah, he went by Hunter but it was a reason he
went bad. Yes.
There definitely like Anyway. Going back to the sign.
How crazy is that? How crazy bird?
That's okay, I just want to talk about.
Name, we are going to talk about dating.
Are you looking at me? Because here s because Carrie,
you've dated the most out of all of us, take it away carrots.
Our Akira our how many funny stories anyway.
We just want you guys to know that you aren't alone.
And if you are interested and looking for signs, ask your
person, send me something and having faith that when you do
have the feeling it's from your partner, or your loved.
One that it is actually them. That's, that's the worst part.
I think our brain tries to tell us that it's not true.
And if you're talking to people who don't believe it's true, it
doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what they think.
It only matters what you think that they were your person, not
the right person. That's when they didn't lose
that person either. That's there's a big cause I'm
sure all of you felt the same way that the way you look at
death is very different now that you've experienced it.
So closely. I mean we probably all
experienced death in terms of things that weren't Closes like
a spouse, right? But this is very different.
It is. So I just want to say one thing
about science because for me, I tend to fight these things.
I'm probably the opposite of Whitney.
I'm not looking. I'm always looking for the
rational explanation, and I'll even fight it if it's coming at
me. I'll rationalize and say, oh
well, this is just in the other but this one time a little bit
over like a year and a half after Frank's death, I happened
to be in San Francisco on a trip.
I was on my own that. Day.
I walked the whole city. I was just trying to, you know,
have some alone time without the kids and walking around the
city. I end up in Golden Gate Park, I
end up in accidentally in the AIDS Memorial Grove and there's
this really lovely area. That's kind of it's like a
Grove. It's in, it's enclosed and it's
quiet. There happened to be nobody else
there and I just sort of sat and took a moment.
I looked down and some of you may have been There, but there's
a bunch of names on the ground and it kind of spirals out into
a spiral in its names of people that have passed away from AIDS.
And I, I'm just sitting on this bench, relaxing.
I looked down and the first name I see is Frank, and I'm going
okay that, you know, it's a common name II, just went there,
and I played this little game with myself.
I mean, if somebody had been there, they would have thought I
was insane because I play this little game.
I love where I like looked away and I close my eyes and I look
down at like a totally different area of the spirals, this big
spiral of, you know, hundreds of names and I saw another Frank
and then I was trying to just and rock, listen woman, right?
I was really trying to just like, snap out of it.
This is crazy. I did it for more times and I
got finding Frank's in the spiral and I don't know if
that's just subconscious mind, if that was him.
No, your cell doing it, and, of course, it was him.
I know there's other Skeptics out there.
What is it? What is wrong with thinking?
It was him like, with all your dating, he wanted you to
remember Frank Frank, nothing wrong with it, but that was one
of those like a hammer over the head.
My mom was like, okay, I can't be a skeptic anymore.
This might be some something coming through and it was just
this very peaceful beautiful place obviously you know in
memory of people that had passed away.
So I did feel like okay of all the places this is an
appropriate space. Oh, him to reach out but I
haven't had a ton of those like Hammer over the head, like,
well, look at. Look at how you talk yourself
out of things. So quickly.
At first, he had to prove himself like four times and in
even now in you're telling the story you're like, well, maybe
I've come now you're doing great.
I'm like thanks for UVA. Yeah but that on him I'm given
that. I love it.
If you think about your person they loved us so much.
They want us to be well, they want us.
To be happy. They want us to live life, fully
especially now they recognize when you're an Earthly person,
you don't realize that how special it is that we're all
here. I mean it's pretty amazing that
we're literally spinning on this round thing.
And in space, we can breathe, we can walk on.
I mean, it's just crazy. I'll my mind is being blown
right now as you can tell. Anyway, I'll get off my
pep-talking but I love it. I could talk.
About it forever. The signs, I truly believe are
there and it is supposed to bring us comfort and peace.
Keep your eyes open. Talk to your person.
Asked them to bring you a sign and then don't question it when
it comes on and just enjoy Embrace and enjoy.
Yes. As always, you can go to
Excellence. That's right.
And you can go to another sign right now is to go to Instagram
and follow us. Every Widow thing, just click
the the follow button and you'll get more interesting information
like this. Stuff.
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Stuff. You got today.
Thank you.