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You found us. 
I'm so glad you did. 

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But I'm sorry that you had to. 
Who are we? 

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I'll tell you what, we're not. 
We're not old, we're not boring,

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and we're not giving up. 
So come on into our widow 

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circle, where trauma meets 
humor. 

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And we remind you that you can 
not only survive, but thrive. 

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This is every Widow thing. 
Hey everyone, thanks for joining

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us on Every Widow thing. 
Today's episode is a really good

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one. 
I'm super excited. 

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I started listening to Anderson 
Cooper's new podcast and it's 

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all about grief. 
He his mom died in 2019. 

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He had to go into her apartment 
and and close it up basically, 

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and he was shocked at how much 
grief he was feeling. 

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And at the same time, he finds 
things from his father who had 

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died in 1978. 
He found things regarding his 

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brother who had committed 
suicide at 21. 

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So there was a lot to literally 
pack and unpack while he was 

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going through his mother's 
apartment. 

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And so he decided to do this 
podcast. 

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Now the episode that really 
caught my attention was one, it 

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was the 2nd episode and it was 
about being grateful for your 

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grief. 
And I thought it was a really 

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interesting topic. 
So I asked the other ladies to 

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listen to that episode so that 
we could discuss it here on the 

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podcast. 
Because one of the things that I

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have said early on in my grief 
and still continue to say is 

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that I want to sit in gratitude.
I want to find the blessings in 

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it. 
But I know that that is not easy

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for people to to do #1. 
And for a lot of people, it's 

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not even easy to understand what
that even means. 

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How can these terrible things be
gifts? 

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So I just wanted to say, like, 
right off the bat, what did you 

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guys think overall about the 
podcast, about the episode? 

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It was really good. 
I listened to it twice. 

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You did. 
It made me cry, yeah. 

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I cried too. 
Stephen Colbert's had a tough 

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row too. 
I mean, two brothers and a 

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father died in a in a an 
airplane accident and the raw 

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vulnerability between the two of
them. 

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But also Anderson Cooper's 
always keeps it pretty together 

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and a he has his own show on CNN
and then he, you know, he does 

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other things. 
But so you see him as this kind 

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of news guy. 
And then on this podcast, I was 

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amazed at that he went there. 
Bawling his head and. 

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So it was. 
Refreshing because it's like 2 

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men having. 
And they were both. 

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Emotional. 
Exactly. 

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Two men that could actually go 
there. 

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It just showed me what we 
already know. 

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There's no time limit on grief. 
I mean these guys are in their 

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late 50s and they're crying 
about their fathers who died 

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when they were 10. 
You know or or also you know 

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their brothers were who died 
were they were younger. 

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So it there you can bawl your 
eyes out 20 years later, 40 

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years later. 
You know what, it took me to our

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kids. 
That's what I thought about when

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I was listening to it. 
I thought, what if this is our 

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boys and girls all these years 
later in their 50s? 

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What will they say is the thing 
that they remember? 

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Because I asked Ryder that he 
said I don't remember much and 

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I'm like I, you know, I don't 
know. 

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I don't. 
I think right now in his mind 

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because he's so happy and life 
is good living his best life. 

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But there's about there are 
bound to be things that in his 

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later life when he has his own 
children and like our kids, have

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their own. 
Children talks about when he has

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his daughter and how that made 
him think about just the 

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fragility, belt the belt, the 
fragility of life. 

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Yeah, he talked about his 
brother's belt. 

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So Stephen Colbert had this 
belt. 

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His brother died when he was 10.
He had this belt in every house 

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that he lived in. 
He put it in every closet that 

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he had, but he didn't really 
even think about it. 

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And he never wore. 
It. 

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And he never wore it until one 
day his own kid, who's happens 

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to be named after the brother 
who died and it's his belt, 

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needed a belt. 
And he asked if he didn't know 

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it was his brother's belt 
either. 

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Yeah, he didn't know the story 
behind it. 

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Right. 
And so it it just goes to show 

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if I want to keep my husband's 
clothes or take something and 

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take it with me everywhere I go.
That's not weird. 

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It's not weird at all. 
Colbert did it. 

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And Kira is having an issue with
the the mic right now if. 

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You go right into. 
Her. 

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My mic is. 
Getting private hot mic. 

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Literally hot mic. 
That's funny. 

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I like the fact that he, the 
belt thing came up because I 

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love the fact that here's 
another person that keeps 

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because I had one therapist, the
one that I never went back to. 

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She thought it was weird that I 
kept his clothes. 

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She wanted me to give him the 
goodwill. 

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And I was like, I'm so glad now.
I didn't listen to her. 

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I listened to my own instinct. 
Which one can judge that exactly

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what works for you and. 
I use it as opportunity. 

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So a lot of my kids have, 
they've all kind of grabbed 

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T-shirts of Frank's and you 
know, they'll the girls will 

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sleep in them or Thomas can wear
them now that he's 18 and 

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doesn't. 
It make you. 

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Happy to see. 
And I sometimes will like, if I 

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see a photo on my phone, whether
I'm looking back for something 

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or if something pops up and 
Frank is in that shirt, I'll 

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just text to the kids. 
I mean, now we have all this 

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technology where you can just 
say like, hey, look, here's your

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dad in that shirt. 
That you. 

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Left to sleep in. 
And it just kind of brings him 

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into the present and it kind of 
includes him in some way in our 

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daily life. 
You know I'm going to text you 

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this. 
And it would make Frank smile to

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see his kid in his shirt like 
he's big enough now to wear his 

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clothes. 
Yeah, it's fun. 

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It's so like I said, the 
underlying, I think message or 

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or the conversation that they 
were trying to have was about 

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grappling with this gratitude 
with grief. 

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And so I wanted to know what you
guys, what you think about that?

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What was your take away from 
that conversation? 

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Do you believe that you can be 
grateful for it? 

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Are you grateful for it? 
Crickets. 

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I I was really impressed because
I think it's so much easier to 

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go to the dark side, right? 
It's it's easier to be sad or 

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angry and depending on where you
are in your journey or like what

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people have, you know, 
recommended for you, whether 

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it's a therapist or you know, 
sometimes it's good to go into 

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the dark side and kind of delve 
into it. 

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I had a a delayed kind of grief 
reaction because of my injuries 

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from the car accident. 
And so I had one therapist that 

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said to me, you know, this was 
months later, you know, you 

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just, you just never grieved. 
You just pushed it down and you 

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never really grieved. 
And you've got to, if you've got

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to do it now, you got to do it. 
You got to get in there and so 

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sometimes. 
When you're trying to get your 

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health back and then you're 
worried about your children. 

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So it's kind of doesn't give you
a lot of time to focus on. 

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I mean, I. 
Don't think anybody blamed me 

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for that. 
I mean, I did. 

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I did what I had to do to to 
move forward. 

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But I really took that and then 
went into some of those moments 

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where when if I got sad about 
something, I would stop what I 

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was doing and take a minute and 
just go cry and just have the 

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moment. 
But what's nice about Stephen 

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Colbert is like he he's just 
super positive. 

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He talks a lot about beauty, 
though, about how beautiful life

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is, the good and the bad, the 
painful and the joy. 

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Well, I sent you guys something 
this morning. 

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I do. 
I meditate every morning and 

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just so people are clear, it 
isn't like 30 minutes. 

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I can't I have ADD or something 
because I can't sit still that 

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long. 
But sometimes it's only 5 

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minutes, 10 minutes. 
But I've made that a practice 

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for a really long time and there
was this one particular 

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devotional that was about asking
for God to to so that I could 

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see him. 
I needed to feel lighter. 

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I needed to not feel so heavy. 
It's the holidays. 

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It's what's happening in my 
family with my mother and things

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changing and my son going to 
college, it was all of it was 

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weighing on me so much. 
I could just feel like I can't 

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handle this anymore. 
And a listening to that podcast 

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yesterday that made me feel a 
little lighter. 

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And I was like, OK, you've got 
to, you've got to do the work of

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finding the good because it's a 
lot of work to find good in 

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something that's so painful. 
And then this morning and all 

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day I've had the best day. 
It's so crazy. 

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And I think it was part of the 
podcast. 

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So kudos to those two guys and 
for Whitney for turning us onto 

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it. 
But the other was that I felt 

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like I was asking God to please 
just give me some lightness. 

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I mean, you could. 
That's the least you can do 

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today. 
And it worked. 

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I was lighter. 
I love what Stephen Cabrera said

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in the in the conversation. 
Something like if you're going 

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to be grateful for your life, 
you have to be grateful for all 

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of it. 
And that is that means the good,

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the bad, the trauma, the highs, 
the lows. 

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And so when I try to look at the
the gratitude and my trauma, I 

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will go to things like, well, 
I'm grateful that I loved that 

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deeply and and so now that grief
is going to be deep because that

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it's it it's it's equal to the 
love. 

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Somebody said it was the actor. 
Andrew, Andrew, whatever the 

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actor, is it Spider, the British
guy, Garfield. 

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He said something that the the 
tears that I'm crying are just 

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the UN, not unresolved grief 
but. 

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There's no way for me to put. 
There's nowhere for me to put, 

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no one, no one to tell anymore 
because they're gone. 

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But I feel my love. 
Yes, it's still the love. 

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And so that I'm grateful I 
remember this story. 

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I may have told you all this 
story before about the kind, the

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family who lost their 
kindergartner. 

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And my mom was a teacher. 
And I remember this story and 

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this was years and years and 
years and years and years ago. 

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I had no idea that I would need 
to to draw on it. 

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But this family in the school 
where my mom taught, they lost 

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their kindergartner. 
The kindergartner died, and she 

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was talking to me about how the 
family was handling it. 

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And she said it's just so 
incredible to watch because 

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instead of lamenting over all 
the time they're going to lose, 

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they're sitting in the gratitude
of the time that they were 

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given. 
I don't know. 

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Grateful. 
That is amazing to. 

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Me. 
But that is also a practice, you

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know, It's a practice. 
And they must have been doing 

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that before they had the 
tragedy. 

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And yeah, that's a way where I 
could find gratitude in, in the 

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grief, You know, I don't like 
that he's gone. 

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I hate that I lost him, but I'm 
grateful that I had him. 

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I'm grateful that I loved him. 
We can walk into a room now much

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more acutely than before and 
feel people's sad and Gee. 

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00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,720
Yeah, they touched on that much.
More profound. 

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The value of having gone through
loss and that you can have 

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compassion for somebody that is 
going through it. 

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00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:17,600
Like, I mean it was kind of the 
same like when Gabe's friend 

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00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:23,160
died and we had to go see his 
parents and Gabe's like, I I'm, 

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00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,720
I don't know if I can do this. 
And I said you've done the 

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00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,520
hardest thing you've ever had to
do. 

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00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:34,880
You can do it And we walked in 
the room and it, you know it 

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00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,320
went as well as could go. 
I mean. 

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00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:42,800
But that that has given you and 
I or all of us an opportunity to

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use that grief to help other 
people who are grieving, you 

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00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,760
know, that's that's something to
be grateful for. 

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00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:54,120
Yeah, because before Toby died, 
like I I wouldn't have known 

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00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,840
what to say, like, to any of 
you. 

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00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,520
Right. 
I don't even said that. 

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00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:03,800
Even being a widow and someone 
else ended up being a widow. 

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00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,400
I even thought to myself, I 
don't know what to say to them. 

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00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,160
I thought you're so crazy. 
Of course you do. 

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00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:14,840
But it's once you've gone, I'm 
12 years in, the acuteness of 

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00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:17,240
his death is not with me as much
anymore. 

227
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:21,240
My grief comes from other things
that are piled on not as much 

228
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,680
about. 
I guess that's the beauty is 

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that when you do the grief work,
when you do the therapy, when 

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you have friends, when you have 
meet three other ladies that 

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have been through what you've 
been through, that can relate to

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00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:37,320
your story and the hard things 
that it it does get a little bit

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00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,880
easier over time. 
You learn to live with it 

234
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,680
better. 
And one of the thing, another 

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00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,760
thing that Stephen Colbert said 
that I love, I know, well, we're

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00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,120
supposed to be talking about the
I feel like I'm like, in the 

237
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,560
book group and I'm the only one 
that read the book. 

238
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,600
No, I'm just kidding. 
I have notes, dude. 

239
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:52,520
I read the. 
Book. 

240
00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,280
I have one of those that goes to
book club that doesn't read the 

241
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,120
book. 
He says that grief can be, and 

242
00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,960
this is sort of to your point. 
Grief doesn't have to be a cave.

243
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,720
And you can, you can visualize 
grief instead as a tunnel. 

244
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:10,000
So there's a you do have to go 
through that dark time to come 

245
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,240
out the other side. 
And that really resonated with 

246
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,680
me for some reason, because I 
think, you know, there's all 

247
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moments where you feel like 
you're in a cave, you feel like 

248
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,960
you're alone, it's dark, it's 
sad, maybe you're angry. 

249
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,120
There's no, you can't see the 
other side. 

250
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,600
And for me is visualizing. 
You know, when I'm in those 

251
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,080
moments, I just love that 
analogy of like, turn The Cave 

252
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,080
into a tunnel. 
You're going to get through the 

253
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,800
other side. 
And I just love that. 

254
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:38,400
I thought that was so positive 
and smart, funny, helpful for 

255
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:38,960
me. 
What? 

256
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:41,680
He used another analogy that I 
was curious what you guys 

257
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,120
thought about it. 
He said his grief was like a 

258
00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:49,440
beloved tiger. 
Tiger can hurt you, but it's 

259
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,240
your tiger. 
I just thought it was 

260
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,560
interesting. 
He's just trying so hard to help

261
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:55,080
everybody. 
I'm. 

262
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,480
Going to stick with the tunnel 
one, You can have the tiger one,

263
00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,560
the tunnel one made sense to me.
The tunnel. 

264
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,240
Maker I don't know. 
The tunnel means that you'll 

265
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,680
you'll get through it. 
But like the Tiger, you're 

266
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:08,600
always going to have that 
beloved tiger sitting next to 

267
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,600
you. 
I always feel like that 

268
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,280
represented rage, but maybe 
that's not what he meant. 

269
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:15,440
But for me, a tiger is like 
rage. 

270
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:19,480
And that's kind of what I 
thought of is the tiger that 

271
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,560
won't let go is that rage stays 
with you on some level. 

272
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:25,640
Can't remember who said it, but 
he said anger is the armor 

273
00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,680
against how you really feel. 
You have to go to a very 

274
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:33,680
vulnerable place. 
Anger is kind of the easier 

275
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,200
emotion. 
But it's the most propelling. 

276
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,840
To other people covers up the 
pain, yeah. 

277
00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,160
That's what I took away from the
the tiger part was that it's the

278
00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,600
rage. 
And that rage really represents 

279
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,200
pain, enormous pain that's not 
been dealt with. 

280
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:54,280
I thought it was interesting how
both of their mothers handled 

281
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:58,360
their own deaths. 
So Anderson Cooper is going 

282
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:01,840
through her his mother's 
apartment, and she's left little

283
00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,680
note. 
Everywhere that was just. 

284
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:08,840
When your person dies, you're 
the only one left to hold on to 

285
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:10,760
them. 
So Anderson Cooper's mom left 

286
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,920
little notes all around the 
apartment. 

287
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,720
Polly, tell us what Steven's mom
did that, I thought. 

288
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:20,040
Was so great and the reason she 
did this is so all the siblings 

289
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:23,560
would get together and they went
to her house and they. 

290
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,400
It was in her will that they had
to do this. 

291
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,240
Yes. 
And they drew a number and then 

292
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:33,440
they, you know, could go pick 
what they wanted and then they 

293
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:36,080
would talk about each item. 
I love that. 

294
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,120
That's a great tradition, and 
we've touched on it a little bit

295
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:44,080
outside of the podcast, and I 
think we'll, we'll do an episode

296
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:48,040
on it. 
But part of what I felt was 

297
00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:53,200
lacking when Hunter died was I 
didn't know what to do to honor 

298
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:58,200
him, or to heal or help the 
kids, or in some instances, I 

299
00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,120
know, Holly, you were like, I 
don't even know how to bring him

300
00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,160
up in conversation. 
Not Hunter. 

301
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:09,360
Toby Hunter gets around. 
I was get too early on when we 

302
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,680
were younger and now I talk 
about him, yeah. 

303
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,840
I feel like Americans or people.
I don't know a lot of people. 

304
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,880
There are no traditions in 
place. 

305
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,520
Well, that's why I love the 
Jewish tradition of sitting in 

306
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:24,280
Shiva. 
It's a beautiful way to do it it

307
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,200
it tells you basically what to 
do, but it gives you time to 

308
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,320
honor the dead. 
It's. 

309
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:32,560
Just like our society is so like
people don't talk about death. 

310
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,840
Well, that's what I loved about 
Anderson Cooper said that, he 

311
00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:36,880
said. 
I can't. 

312
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,760
I couldn't believe under any 
circumstance that I would have a

313
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,560
podcast that would be discussing
this, he said. 

314
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,720
But he couldn't not not do it 
because of all that was 

315
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,600
happening around him and I think
having his own children now made

316
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,400
him it changes how you view 
everything. 

317
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:57,600
Well, it's a universal thing. 
Every single person on this 

318
00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:04,520
planet is going to have a loss, 
even the loss of like a divorce 

319
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,440
or a job. 
I mean, they're all different 

320
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,720
kinds of grief. 
Talking about traditions, in the

321
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:14,920
olden days you dress in black 
for a long period of time. 

322
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,760
About that too, where like years
ago that you would? 

323
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,440
People knew you were grieving. 
For like a year or what was? 

324
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:29,000
It called black days. 
I don't know, grieving. 

325
00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,080
I have no idea. 
What is it called? 

326
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,600
You're in mourning. 
Mourning. 

327
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:33,840
Is that? 
Now you. 

328
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:37,040
Wear black to weddings, which 
used to be like you did not do 

329
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,280
that, and now that's. 
Complicated. 

330
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,920
Now, you don't wear black to 
funerals. 

331
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,080
What did you guys feel about 
that? 

332
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:46,520
Because I feel like I've felt 
this way at times, because my 

333
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,240
brother passed away, which I 
haven't really discussed on the 

334
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:53,160
podcast yet, two years before 
our accident in which Frank 

335
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,640
died. 
But Anderson talks a lot about 

336
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,080
how he just feels completely 
alone now that everyone's gone. 

337
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,800
His whole immediate family is 
gone. 

338
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,960
And where do those stories go? 
What happens to those stories? 

339
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:12,280
And just the weight of carrying 
all of those memories on your 

340
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:13,720
own and not really even being 
able to. 

341
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:17,480
I find I've had times where 
without Frank, I'm sure we all 

342
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:18,560
have. 
I haven't been able to cross 

343
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:22,160
reference like right, remember 
that time when you know Thomas 

344
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,320
fell and you know Thomas will be
telling some story about him 

345
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,520
falling and hurting himself or 
something when he was younger. 

346
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,240
And I I can't look at Frank and 
say I don't remember how that 

347
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,560
happened. 
There's no terrifying details. 

348
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,440
What house was? 
Your three children. 

349
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,400
Yeah, nobody. 
Else talked to about the births 

350
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:36,920
of your. 
Children. 

351
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,400
Yeah, I didn't have anyone. 
No one was there except for him.

352
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:43,080
And I thought that was an 
interesting piece and just to 

353
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:47,640
segue to sort of ideas that I 
was, I'm looking into for my 

354
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,920
parents and I have a friend in 
Pilates who exactly is doing the

355
00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:53,440
exact same thing for her 
parents. 

356
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,720
Is getting that one of those 
storyboard. 

357
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,800
I did it, yeah. 
One of those books where you 

358
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,520
send it to them and they can 
write it all down and then you 

359
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,240
know memories that they have. 
I guess there are prompts that 

360
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,160
come every week. 
Yes, it's an amazing I gave it 

361
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:13,600
to my mom, my my in laws. 
I gave it to a couple of friends

362
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,040
and they've given it to their 
parents. 

363
00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:19,800
Yeah, you you either write your 
own question and it's a year 

364
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,960
process. 
So every week they get a 

365
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,320
question. 
I've never heard of this and 

366
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,440
they can. 
And then they have a week to 

367
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:30,360
answer it and then the next 
question comes, yes, they e-mail

368
00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:34,040
it to them and you can go in. 
And actually this is just story 

369
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,560
worth. 
I don't know how it is. 

370
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,160
Yeah, and other people. 
Carmen is doing a different one,

371
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,840
so there's a few different ones 
if you want to, with different 

372
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,360
styles if you want to shop. 
Around, yeah, but I think that's

373
00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:46,480
a great way and even do it for 
your anyway taking. 

374
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,280
Advantage of all this technology
that we have now, Because back 

375
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,480
then, you know, Colbert was 
talking about how he didn't even

376
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:57,200
have any recordings of, I think.
Was it his brother's voice? 

377
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,080
Yeah, it was his brother. 
And then he found an old tape 

378
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,880
recorder. 
He had recorded him and his 

379
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:04,880
brother talking on this tape. 
Fascinating. 

380
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:08,880
I will keep voicemails. 
Now this is kind of morbid, but 

381
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:13,440
of like my mom leaves me a 
voicemail or my in laws or even 

382
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,360
my children, I save I. 
Have way too many. 

383
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,880
I do too. 
But I'm like, so afraid. 

384
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,240
I don't want to lose their 
voice. 

385
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,080
I agree with you. 
Trying to leave us a voicemail 

386
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:27,800
and it's full, that's why. 
Well, I have all those videos. 

387
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,080
I'm sure all of you have iPhone 
video too, but I was listening. 

388
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:33,680
I took writer into the living 
room one day because I finally 

389
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,960
got the DVD fixed. 
It was such a poignant thing to 

390
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,960
was he had never seen them 
because writers now almost 19 

391
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,760
and never seen any of him when 
he was little and his dad 

392
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,120
obviously died 12 years ago. 
So it's been a long time. 

393
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,440
I haven't heard his voice in a 
long time. 

394
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:50,760
So I had it put in and I can and
he came into the room and I 

395
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,080
said, well, what do you think 
about that? 

396
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:57,240
And he said, wow, he sounds we 
sound sort of similar, but it 

397
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,600
was just a weird feeling because
I had so much emotion attached 

398
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,600
to it and his voice. 
But I think it's a smart thing. 

399
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:08,240
Like what Anderson's and Stephen
Colbert's mothers did. 

400
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:13,200
I mean, what a beautiful way to 
help them in their memories of 

401
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,800
the things that they could no 
way, no possibly be aware of. 

402
00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,680
Yeah, I really encourage 
everyone. 

403
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:20,080
I haven't. 
Have you all listened to any of 

404
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,880
the other episodes? 
I haven't. 

405
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,240
I haven't either, but I'm going 
to because I think it's really 

406
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:28,240
interesting to hear other 
people's stories. 

407
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:30,080
Obviously that's one reason why 
we're doing. 

408
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,040
Like Holly, I like that it was 
men. 

409
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,640
I love. 
Men, we're vulnerable and we're 

410
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,920
sharing. 
Feelings. 

411
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:40,600
It's unusual talking about their
grief and get and and sharing 

412
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,440
some enlightening views that I 
hadn't really thought of before.

413
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:49,440
So it's called Anderson Cooper. 
All there is is the name of the 

414
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,760
podcast. 
And yeah, the episode that we're

415
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,440
talking about is grateful for 
grief. 

416
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:56,280
All right. 
Well, thank you for listening 

417
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:59,520
in. 
Head on over to Instagram, shoot

418
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,040
us a little text, let us know 
what you're thinking, what you 

419
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:08,360
need from us. 
And on a future episode, we are 

420
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:10,960
going to be sharing some widow 
confessions. 

421
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:15,160
Things that maybe you thought or
did or wanted to say. 

422
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,160
Feelings that you may have had 
that you just didn't feel 

423
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,000
comfortable owning up to. 
We want to hear about it. 

424
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,320
Don't worry, we won't share your
names. 

425
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,200
But we do want to share your 
confessions to let everyone know

426
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:33,360
that anything is normal. 
You can share those confessions 

427
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:38,480
by DM ING us on Instagram or 
sending us an e-mail to 

428
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:42,080
everywidowthing@gmail.com. 
Thanks so much. 

429
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,280
We look forward to hearing from 
you. 

430
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,760
All right, we'll see you soon. 
Bye. 

431
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:45,840
Bye.