Hello again and welcome back to another episode of Not for
Everyone. A podcast hosted by a hater and
a lover. A podcast hosted by two
scientists who are not scientists.
Never have been, never will be. A podcast hosted by me, Jess and
the love of my life Caroline and podcast that has a pretty big
announcement today, which is that we are taking a break.
We're taking a break, Caroline. We're just say it with me, we're
taking a. Break.
We're taking a break. We're taking a break and we have
things to say about it and I'm just trying to think where to
start. We have never taken a
significant break. The podcast has been going for 3
1/2 years or so and we've taken like a week or two off for
Christmas. We've alternated weeks by doing
solo episodes so that one of us could have a break while the
other one still worked. So we've been going hard at this
for a while and I think, you know, it's not our main thing.
We both have full time jobs, so that alone is like a lot of time
energy. I personally, I think it's been
clear, have been talking about being burnt out for the last few
months. And so that's one of the inputs
into this. But I also think we have been
realizing over the last few months that we're not having as
much fun with it anymore. And that was like the whole
point. That was like the whole reason
to start it, especially since it's like a side hobby thing for
us. Like, if we're not having fun
with the hobby, then what? Why, why?
And so the two of us talked about it over the last couple of
weeks. And I think we were both feeling
it and, like, afraid to be the one to say it.
And Caroline sent me a voice memo.
She's usually the first one to say the truth.
And I was like, yeah, I relate to I, I agree.
We're aligned. I relate like, I'm tired, I'm
not having fun. And I wish I was, but I'm not.
Yeah. And we could talk about more of
the why, but let me just stop and see what you want to add.
So far, yeah, I don't even know what to say.
Been thinking so much about what to say in this episode.
I would know we both have we've been like talking about like how
do we talk about this? And it feels like impossible
that we will like, capture it correctly or like be able to
like, properly do right by like the people who've supported us
and like, like for many years and like been a really great
part of this podcast and like do right by the parts that have
been great. And like, do right by like,
you're in my relationship to each other and also say things
that are like honest here. And I also know that like
whatever explanation we give in this episode for taking a break
and yeah, for contacts, we're thinking of like several months,
like maybe six months, while we like take time to kind of like
collect ourselves and realign or figure out like what we're doing
here. I know that like whatever we say
in this episode is like the reason will be taken as like the
whole reason or the finite reason or like the this is the
set in stone reason. And, and the reasons feel like
it's been impossible thinking how to like what is correct to
say here over the last couple weeks.
Because it just feels like I can't capture every aspect of
it. While also like expressing the
gratitude I have for like the 3 1/2 years of doing this together
and of having like the audience that we have had and the support
we have had, while also like capturing the things that are
like I'm struggling with. And in a way I feel like I'm for
me at least the reason that it's like hard to all my anxiety
about trying to like caption. The reason here in this episode
is like why I need the pause. I felt like very part of it part
for me is that I think I felt like very unsure and very
anxious for like years here about how like what is the
proper way to show up? I think I've like struggled with
that maybe longer it sounds like than Jess has probably.
I would guess because I was already like had been like doing
content longer before and I already have like damage from
doing it and like self doubt and maybe self doubt in a way, in a
way almost sometimes that I think just that you don't have
like some. I think that maybe in a way you
have like a sense of self that I like.
I'm very fragile, I'm very weak and, and it's just been like
many years of like in and out of like being unsure of like what
is the right way to show up and, and then like together as a
team, just. And I, I don't know if I should
be talking to you or talking to the audience.
But like you and I have gone through so many different like
iterations and strategies of like what we think this podcast
is for and what we think the content is for and like who
we're trying to serve. Like I feel like we're like
trying to figure it out. And we've tried a lot of
different things, which may be interesting to share with
listeners. I know we talked about sharing
some of our thinking and where it landed us, but I think
ultimately it's, it's two things for me #1 I feel like I'm not
sure what I should be doing on the podcast.
I'm not sure who it should be serving or how I should be
serving or, or what my purpose should be.
And I do really believe in having like clear purpose with
content. Even listeners sometimes have
commented like, oh, you could do episodes about this or you could
come on and do this. And, and I think there's a lot
of things we could do, but I personally just, I don't know,
sometimes I think about like when other people like say,
like, Oh, I really want to, you know, kids, sometimes they're
like, oh, I really want to have a YouTube channel, but like,
what should I make it about? And I'm like, oh, don't I, I
personally don't believe that you should just like make a
YouTube channel because you want to have a YouTube channel.
I think you should make a YouTube channel because there's
like something you want to say or there's this thing you really
love or these, they're these people you really want to
connect with. And I think that's how I feel
about content generally. And I think I started here, we
started here with a pretty clear idea of like what we thought our
purpose was. And then we've pivoted a few
times and I don't know anymore. And I, and I don't feel certain
who and how we should be serving.
And, and then I, I think ultimately I don't think that's
a good way to make a podcast. I don't think it's just like we
could make a podcast. We can make a podcast about like
a lot of things. But like what is I, I think I do
want to have more clarity on purpose and mission.
And I think if you don't have those things, then it does start
getting disappointing for people or messy for people or messy for
us. And, and I'm, yeah.
And I think I'm, it's been affecting me.
And I don't think I can like, I don't think I'm up to the
challenge right now of like being affected in the way that
it's. Yeah.
Yeah, I, I mean, I agree that like it hasn't been affecting me
in the same way for as long as you, but that has caught up to
me in the last couple of months. And, you know, whatever it is
about me where I think I'm quicker to say like, yeah, I
don't, I don't have to like put myself through this.
Like I think you've talked about like enduring to a fault, right?
Like that you've sometimes endured to a fault with
different things that aren't making you feel good.
And I think I have done that too.
But I feel like I've, I've come to this place and I think a lot
of it is like growth that I've actually had from the podcast
and from our conversations. Like I, I'm like a a different
version of myself than when we started in a way that I'm really
proud of. And for both of us.
For both of us, I really agree. Like I think that we, I think
everything we've talked about here has like shaped me for the
better and learning from you has shaped me for the better.
And anyway, I'm just at a point where like I'm much more able to
quickly say that something's not working and like kind of set a
boundary for myself. And so as soon as you voiced
like, I've been feeling this way for a while, I was like, maybe I
haven't been feeling that for as long.
But yeah, even the taste of it that I'm getting like recently,
I agree. And I don't I'm not in a space
right now to endure it if I ever want to endure it.
This, this battle of like what is energizing for us to come and
talk about with each other every single week and to feel like
there's purpose in putting it out into the world and also like
the Venn diagram of that with what people are going to like
and respond to and want more of. And like, I feel like at the
beginning we had that a little more clear, or at least our
purpose felt clear. And then the people who liked it
came and stayed, and it resonated for a while.
But I also think a lot of that was like us sharing personally
about ourselves. Like, the audience didn't know
me at all. So I had tons that I could
share. And even for you, they knew you
from YouTube. But there's so much more behind
what you show in an edited YouTube video that you were
like, excited about or interested in.
Curious about sharing in a more open free form, like
conversational forum with another person.
And so for both of us, I think it was like we are comfortable
sharing about ourselves more than the average person, you
know, like on a platform We that kind of intrigues us and we feel
like we have something to say from those experiences that
we've had. And it'll be interesting to like
see how each of us share some of those experiences and beliefs
and opinions and values and how we differ and how we talk about
that and navigate it together. And like, that was kind of, I
think the purpose at the beginning.
And then you get to a point where it's like, OK, this has
been working for a while, but like, feel like I've said
everything about my personal life that I am comfortable
saying. And so then it's like, OK, well,
what do we do? I still have like good advice
and, you know, opinions that I think are interesting and worth
talking about and views on the world that I think are worth
sharing. And so let's try to get more of
that out there. Let's try to maybe like respond
to listeners and give more advice based on our experience
and based on what we know as unprofessional people who are
just like kind of showing up as whole humans and hopefully
friends. And let's like do it that way.
And so for a while we pivoted from like personal sharing to
more like listener based, let's get hot, take inputs, let's get
what a dues. Let's think about like what are
the deep dive episodes, like dating episode, career episode,
family episode, like let's do it that way.
And I think that worked for a while.
I think also because like once, yeah, like I think we started
sharing a lot personally and then they're just began to be
natural places. I think in a healthy way that
we, it didn't feel appropriate to share.
Like when we started the podcast, I was dating, you know,
I, it wasn't, I didn't have like 1-1 intimate relationship and a
person to like protect and even, you know, just in talking about
dating, there were people who were affected.
And I, I like learned pretty quickly I shouldn't really be
talking about dating. That was a big deal.
And then, you know, there's things with family that I wanted
to express and share, but then like, they're also known.
And at a certain point that didn't feel very appropriate or
fair. And yeah, so then it felt like,
OK, well, we know some of our most popular episodes have
always been the ones like kind of giving more retrospective
advice to like, things we've already passed through phases,
maybe breakups or starting your career or dating or things that
were it's kind of more in the rear view.
So it doesn't feel as exposed and personal and seems like
people really value those. Those are always our biggest
episodes. And so, yeah, we tried to lean
into that for a while. That was our like explicit
thinking. With that, go on.
And I feel like we've no that was like help helpful additional
context. And I think we both Caroline
more vocally and me in my own head, we're like got annoyed
with ourselves at some point after like a year of doing it
that. Way of giving advice.
Of giving advice like I'm sick of hearing myself drone on
thinking I know what these people should do.
And obviously we try to show up to it with awareness that we
don't know shit like humility about like we're just talking
and doing our best and sharing what was worked for us.
And but it just got to a point where it's like, there's
there's, I don't know, I don't feel good giving advice every
week. I don't like listening to myself
do that. It's like I know I'm annoyed
with myself, even if other people, I think the audience was
kind of liking it, but I didn't envision that as like how I
would spend week after week on this podcast when we first
started. It's like never been my
intention to be an advice column.
So I don't know if you have more to add about that.
Oh yeah, giving advice trigger triggers myself hatred so
strongly. Like I mean, I for I guess this
is ridiculous to say, but like I all at once think that like on
the topics we choose, we chose to give advice on.
It's not all things I don't think I have good advice on.
All things. We've skipped things that we're
like, I don't know what to do with that or like I'm actively
struggling with that thing. But for the areas that we've
like felt confident enough to like share a perspective on, I
actually feel like pretty confident about like your and my
advice in those areas. That's why we chose those
specific areas and not others. I I've like, I think we have
good advice and also it triggers myself hatred so hard to hear
myself giving advice or like thinking I know anything about
someone else's life or like telling them what to do.
It's like ironically in my private life, like in my
personal growth, I am one of the biggest things I'm working on is
like not trying to influence other people's life is not
trying to tell people how to live or what to do or speak with
judgement or like direction and like to like help people.
If if I do anything, it's like to help people navigate life on
their own, not to be telling them what to do unless they
specifically ask. But it's like it's so at odds
with it makes me feel, it really makes me hate myself that it's a
very, very weird feeling for me. But that feels hard.
And then and then it also feels so self serious that I think we
are both craving like, all right, we can't just be an
advice podcast, even if people like that are valid, that to
some degree, it does get very heavy.
It's very self serious. It can feel very self important.
It doesn't make me like myself. And so why don't we?
Maybe we can like use listener write insurance more.
It's kind of like a jumping off point, a conversation starter.
And we can like maybe talk about that, but we can spiral into
tangents. We can talk about things that do
come back to us and feel personal again and connected,
but like, maybe, yeah, take tangents off of that.
So it's not just advice, but it can be personal again.
And I feel like that's like where we pivoted.
That was like our third pivot maybe.
And it felt risky. Like I think it felt for a
little while more energizing to us of like, oh, OK, like we can
touch on the advice stuff that's been resonating with the
audience, but we can also veer off into like, exploring stuff
about ourselves or telling this other story and moving on from
the conversation or whatever. And it felt like we we could do
both. Like, OK, maybe this idea makes
it so we can do both. We can do the advice that we
have noticed that the audience likes a lot and we can do more
of the like banter and self exploration and self sharing and
whatever in like a, a guided way, like a more structured way.
Yeah. But I think even then, I don't
know, like it's very sensitive like to bounce off of.
Someone else's life experience. Someone else's life experience
and a write in that they've been vulnerable to share.
Like it's sensitive and we don't that tone is really hard to
strike and get right to do both of those things.
And so again, it felt like this isn't working if we've tried all
of these three different, you know, approaches, not to mention
other approaches sprinkled in between of like just sillier
episodes and hot takes and like talking about pop culture and
doing things that are impersonal to anyone that are more just
like bippity bops. I don't think I could do that
every single week. Like there's not always
something to bippity bop about in pop culture that really gets
me going. Like Taylor, Frankie, Paul, you
know, which we've talked about like 4 times.
So it just leaves me at least in a place where I'm like, I don't
know where to go. And, and I don't think I can
figure that out while doing it. Like I think that's a big reason
for wanting a long break for me is.
It's like I'm too close to it and like we haven't stepped
back. And plus everything else in
life, I don't have a lot of space outside of the podcast to
really think about the podcast. Like I'm doing work and I'm
getting here, like in between calls and I'm coming back.
And so there's just not a lot of like creative space, like
freedom and like time away from it to say like, oh, it, it might
feel good to do this or we haven't tried this or actually
even more than any of those tactical things.
I want to return again to like, what's even the purpose to what
you said originally? Like before we get tactical
about what the episodes should be and what's the format and is
it advice or is it personal sharing or is it funny or is it
something else? It's like step back and think
about what even is the goal 'cause I think the goal has
changed for both of us, but we don't quite know what it is.
We just know it's not the same. And there's kind of like goals
for what we want to. There's like for me, there's
like 2 categories of goals. There's what we want to share
and like the space that we create on the podcast and the
content. And then there's also the
overarching like where do we even want this to go?
Because at the beginning, I've been vocal and like on my other
podcast Peeking, I've talked a lot about I, my dream at the
beginning of this was can we get it to a place where we've grown
it and we can make a living off of it?
And I can leave my corporate job and like do this thing that I
love. And I don't know if I want that
anymore. And I've been realizing that
over the last year or so. Like, that was very clearly my
personal dream outcome from this at the start, and I wouldn't
have known if I wanted that or not if I hadn't like tried and
tested it and seen. So I'm so grateful to have had
the opportunity to do this, to do it with you, to have an
audience that's been stuck with us through all these different
versions. And like, let us be ourselves at
least most of the time. And also like, as we did that
over the course of the 3 1/2 years, I think at some point I
started to realize, like, this is still, maybe there's still
something here, but I don't actually know if I would want
this to be my full time. And if I don't want it to be
that, that's OK. But then what do I want it to
be? And I haven't answered that
question. And I don't have space to figure
out the answer to that question. And that's part of what in
addition to like what's the content, that's part of what I
personally want to spend a lot of time figuring out is like,
what's the overarching goal in terms of like my career
aspirations or my like dream job, passion project, side
hustle. But like, do I even want that
anymore or is it something else? I don't know.
And I've been kind of tossing that around in my head for at
least the last, yeah, almost a year probably.
Like since last summer, I would say I've been actively chewing
on that question. And it's a hard question to
answer because it involves letting go of what was once a
dream. Even if it's right to let go of
it. I that's hard.
So I can't, I can't do it while we're also showing up every week
tired and not sure what to do and kind of feeling like it's
not as fun anymore. Like I can't.
I can't figure it all out at the same time without a break.
Is there more you feel comfortable saying about like
what changed for you that you're like, oh, I don't like the more
you learned that you're like, oh, I don't know if I want this
to be something I quit my job for and do full time maybe.
I don't know if there's more you can say publicly.
I think I've said it a little bit, but it's worth exploring,
which is like the way that you talked about how this has been
hard for you for much longer than it has been for me.
And a lot of that to do with the fact that your whole career is
YouTube and is on the Internet and is involved with like
getting outside feedback and having to like tailor how you
show up accordingly. And it triggers yourself hatred.
And I mean, you're amazingly talented at what you do.
So I hope that never is a reason for you to stop.
Like I want to always be a person that's there to help you
keep going and push through those moments because of how
much I think what you do is so special.
But at the same time, when I think about myself, like putting
myself in in that type of setup, or rather when I think about why
you perceive me to be a little bit more like self assured in
this way or like, you know, just like the sense of self that you
perceive in me in this way. I think a lot of it does have to
do with the fact that I have something totally separate from
this going on where if this doesn't work, I don't have the
threat of the other thing not working because it's a corporate
nine to five job where I make a paycheck.
And like, they don't care. They don't care.
They don't see the comments on my podcast.
They don't know if it's successful or not.
It's not relevant. And I think that having that as
like an anchor is actually helpful in keeping me true to
myself here, which then begs the question of like, OK, if that's
helpful for me, like, what then? What am I doing here?
Because initially what I was doing here was pursuing a
different career path. Yeah.
Yeah, that makes sense.
And so, yeah, it's like I don't have to be pursuing a different
career path here. It could be a hobby, it could be
a passion project, There's lots of configurations.
I could leave my 9 to 5 corporate job and do more like
freelance self-employed work and then also do something like
this. And I don't know how I feel
about that, but like that's a possibility.
There's just like a lot of ways I could set it up.
But I, I do feel like I need for me to have a different thing,
which you have a different thing, but it's so closely
intertwined that like it's the same thing.
It's a different thing and it's the same thing.
And, and I think that's just what I've connected the dots on
recently is like, I don't think I could.
I think the self assuredness that you see in me, I think I
would crumble just the same if my setup was different.
You know, I don't think that's a flaw in you.
I think that's the environment. Could be a combo, could be both
or that, but it's funny. Yeah.
I feel like even though we both have like different jobs that
support us outside this podcast, like I think my reasons feel
like kind of similar. Like in a way when I to me, when
we were starting the podcast, I think my original goals were a
few. I was like 1 I wanted to have
and and another I wanted to add in a different like work project
or work energy with someone else.
I didn't want to do anything else alone.
I'm just alone all the time talking to a fucking camera.
And I was like, I would I did not want to do like a podcast
alone or on anything alone. I wanted to do it with like
someone who gives me energy. That's my Princess Jess.
I wanted and I, I secondly, I wanted a place where I could
feel less edited, less restricted than I do on my
YouTube main channel, where I could just kind of be more free
flowing. And thirdly, I thought it would
be a good business idea to have like a backup business kind of
as like, you know, well, YouTube will probably come to an end
eventually. Might as well start building
this other thing can kind of build them in tandem.
And maybe eventually the podcast will be the main thing.
And I think now 3 1/2 years later, we know it's a really
hard business. Like we don't really make money
from this business. I think it's better to think of
it as a hobby. It's not really, it's not going
to be something that replaces or like even break like usually
breaks even. And I, it has become, I think
largely through my own fault, like a place where I actually
feel more restricted than I do on my main channel.
I feel more unsure of how to show up and I feel more like I'm
struggling personally. And in my head I think a lot
more. So those are both gone.
And then the one thing that has remained is that like, like I
said to you, the hardest part of leading the podcast is like you,
like you of those three things have been the thing that
delivered and that has been really special.
And like our relationship has like, like, I know we've both
like changed as individuals and like our like friendship is
like, it's been so special and unique.
Not only has it deepened, but it's like different than like
anything I've done with anybody and been like challenging in
ways that like we pushed through together and like has been like
really beautiful. And you've been obviously you're
like the best business partner I could think of.
So like, of those three things, I went into one, one remains,
but yeah. But that's what I'll miss the
most. Yeah, that's not me.
Sad. Yeah, and scary.
It's like, obviously our friendship still exists and like
I am, I want to always invest in that, but it's really rare to
have like a built in hour long session with one of your friends
every week. And so like just the thought of
like, we're not going to talk like that every week, especially
when I think about the earlier days of the podcast when we were
sharing a lot more. Personally and like.
We were getting to know each other as adults because we.
Yeah. We have a history.
We we have a lot of trust just from like how long we've known
each other, but we didn't know a lot about each other as adults
and our adult lives. And like that, I feel like we
built such a foundation of like, you really know me in a way that
in a way that no one else does. And I think part of that too is
navigating the behind the scenes harder things we've had to deal
with or like navigating have it trying to have a business
together and like strategy and like, it's such a layered type
of relationship that I, I don't have with anyone else and I
can't imagine having. I couldn't even explain to
somebody else. I couldn't even like just
explain all the like, what it's been like to figure it out
together. Yeah, it's like really the
biggest gift and the biggest thing I'll miss.
And I hope that we find a way to do it again or do it more.
But yeah, I just wanted to echo that.
Like I I can't describe what our relationship is to me other than
it's like 1 of 1, you know? Yeah, I agree.
I think the part that made me like, I thought, well, I did say
this to you and I'll say on the podcast, something I realized in
recent months is like my favorite parts of our
conversation each week are before we press record.
Because usually we sit down, we get on here, we get on Zoom
together and we like say all the things that are on our mind,
private things, messy things, ugly things, things that involve
other people, that things that can't be aired, everything
that's live and raw. And like that's my favorite part
of the conversation. And then we say, OK, enough of
that. Are you ready to hit record?
And then we start the conversation that can be aired.
And so on one hand, I'm like, I have that same fear of like,
it's nice to have something on the calendar each week.
And I think we're going to have to work to like make sure we
keep it up. And also, I don't even know how
to say it, but like it, it feels like it's harder to have it on
the podcast. And my hesitation around saying
that is because I'm, I'm I'm all at once trying to like give
listeners, the listeners who like care and have been
supportive. I'm like trying, I know we're
both trying to like give them a satisfactory like understanding
of like why this is pausing right now without while also
like being grateful to them for the support they've given and
like they've done no one's done anything wrong.
When I say like it's hard to know how to show up on the
podcast or it's hard for us to like have our connection on the
podcast after we have record after we hit record.
I think it's just we're struggling with the reality of,
like, the Internet and the reality of, like, doing this
bizarre thing that is like sharing your thoughts, sharing
your private thoughts, like, it's a weird thing to do.
Yeah. So I'm like, it feels hard to
know like. It feels hard to know the lines.
Yes, and that's the whole thing. That's the whole issue.
That's that's the whole reason we're pausing is like it feels
hard to know, like how to say the thing that is true while
also being I don't know. Well, I think the thing that has
united us this whole time is that we feel really strongly
about saying the truth like that.
We value honesty, and I think that was part of what we
anchored around when we started the podcast.
And then over time, it feels like there's less space for that
or like we have gotten in our heads about like, how honest can
I really be or how much should I really share?
And even if there's no change, like even if it's imagined,
which I don't think it is, but even if it is just that feeling
alone, like sits in the back of our brains while we record,
we're, we're not able to show up as authentically and honestly as
we want to, as we value like as we meant to, as maybe we did
previously. I think we still, we do our best
to push ourselves through that, but it's scary.
And I think that's like one of the biggest things to figure out
in returning to the podcast. I feel like we're talking about
it like it's over and I don't know what it is like.
It's a long pause and we need to figure out what is next.
And I hope there's more. And I think we just can't even
fathom like what that is. So many things about how we
started have changed and in this new landscape of like who we are
now, how much we've already shared up to this point, how
many more people are paying attention now, the scale that
your channel has gotten to over this time, like all of these
different aspects of it just make it like the landscape is
different now. And I don't know what there's
space for at this moment. I hope there's space for
something from us together, but I can't even figure out what
that is. So like it is a pause and we
think about six months is right to take a good chunk of time
away. But if that's on the other side
of that, like if we don't figure it out, it could be longer, it
could be it. I hope, yeah, we're aiming to do
a check in in six months. I think that's what we decided.
Yeah, yeah. So I just want to be clear about
what they should expect. And unfortunately, I can't be
that clear about it because we don't even know.
I know, but. I can't even tell if people
care. I'm like, I feel This is why
once again, I feel so in my head, I'm like, at what?
I know at one point I was like, Oh, some people are might be
really upset. Some people have supported us
for so long and love the podcast and are so good to us.
And then at some point during this conversation, I was like,
they're probably thinking we're so dramatic and they're probably
thinking like, how can they be so like they're grieving this
and La La. And it's like even in doing
this, I, I have there's so many voices and they all contradict
each other and both of them make me hate me and I don't it's like
I even in like trying to talk about it.
I feel like very I'm in a very bad place in my head.
Yeah, yeah. So it's a box.
It's a box. And we don't know where the
walls are. I don't know if anyone cares or
if people care so much and they're going to be mad.
It's like, how can I have no idea?
How can I not know? I don't really know either, but
I will say this. I've talked about when my
favorite podcast ended and like that was almost a year ago.
No, it was probably over a year ago.
I don't know. I still, I still miss it every
day and I still go back and listen to old episodes just for
like comfort. And I don't want to be have a
big head and be like, people are going to be obsessed with this
podcast where people are obsessed with this podcast in
the same way I was obsessed with Nikki Glaser, a famous comedians
podcast. But I maybe messages from people
who really write the most, the most generous kind, like
appreciative, thoughtful notes to us.
And whether that's five people or the whole audience or
something in between, I'm talking to those people.
Like I, I think those people are right here with us in terms of
like the, the gravity of this, I guess, and.
Yeah, I ran into, I texted you. I ran into a listener yesterday
in Chicago, and she was really sweet.
She was like, I listened to your podcast.
I just wanted to let you know. And I was like, I think I was
weird. If you're out there, Rebecca, I
think I was weird. I was like, I was like, we are
recording this episode tomorrow about taking this break.
And here I am meeting sweet Rebecca.
And I don't know how to be. She doesn't know yet.
And I have this like secret in my head and like, I don't like,
I don't know the level of listener that she is like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a funny thing, you know.
Like this, is she just being like, oh, yeah, what?
I just listen to it. Or is she being like, no, this,
this means a lot to me. And she's going to be one of the
ones that's really upset tomorrow.
And she doesn't even know how upset she's going to be.
And I was like, I have to thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
So much I have to go. It's but that, you know, that's
part of this. And I think we need a break from
that over thinking too. Like there are so many, there's
so many reasons why this came together and we both were like,
yes, this is the right decision. And I think we were really
considered in how we approached it and we've talked about it a
lot and like it is the right decision, even though we cried
and even though we don't know what's next, like we know it's
right at this time. And we appreciate you all for
sticking with us and getting it now.
And I, I hope, I hope to talk to you more soon.
I don't know. Oh, I did want to do something
else though. OK this is how I want to send us
off. OK, so picture picture.
Can I close my eyes? Episode of The Office, Yeah.
OK. The episode of The Office in
season 2 or 3 when Michael is heartbroken about his breakup
with Carol. She went to Sandals Jamaica with
like, somebody else or something.
And he like, Oh, no, she went on like a ski trip with somebody
new and she like, with her kids. And he Photoshopped himself into
the photo because he was mourning their breakup.
And somebody walked into his office while he was playing a
song, 15 second clip of a song on repeat because he didn't want
to buy the song on iTunes. So he was just playing this 15
seconds over and over again. And it's song by James Blunt.
And it goes, goodbye, my lover. Goodbye, my friend.
You have been the one. You have been the one for me.
And then he plays it again. Touch my heart and touch my
soul. That's going to make me cry
because you actually have an amazing James Blunt esque voice.
That's like one of my most thought of scenes from The
Office ever. And when we were voice memoing
about this decision, it just like came to my soul.
I was. Playing.
Yeah. And I wrote it down and I was
like, this is what I'm going to sing to her.
This is what I'm going to sing to her.
And do a full do a full verse without me interrupting.
I don't know more than that because that's the 15 seconds
that he. That's the whole song.
Goodbye, my lover.
And like Michael's kind of like singing along to it very meekly
and his eyes are watering and I think Jim walks in.
It's just I think I'm going to watch that tonight.
I recommend it to everyone. I'll put the episode of The
Office that it is in the description.
I'll call you tonight. We can watch some of it
together. Cute.
Let's do it. OK, Love you.
I love you. Good luck.
To us, we love you guys.