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Welcome to the Mindset Bay 
podcast. 

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If you want more confidence and 
motivation then you're in the 

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right place every week at your 
dose of self development advice 

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and strategies. 
I'm your host Perry Richardson, 

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life coach, N OP practitioner, 
motivational speaker and mental 

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health advocate. 
My mission is hope you find more

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happiness and take more action 
in your life. 

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Now let's begin. 
Hello, hello, Hello, babe. 

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Welcome to the Mindset Babe 
podcast. 

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In today's episode, I want to 
talk about the number one thing 

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you're missing. 
If you want to stop beating 

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yourself up, if you want to stop
being so hard on yourself, like 

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you make one small mistake, one 
bad decision, one moment where 

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you didn't show up the way you 
wanted to, and you suddenly 

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become your worst critic. 
You start replying with 

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everything. 
I should have done that 

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differently. 
Why did I say that? 

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Why am I even like this? 
Like, Oh my goodness. 

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And before you know it, you're 
not just reflecting on the 

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situation, you're attacking 
yourself. 

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So in today's episode, I want to
share the number one thing 

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you're missing if you want to 
stop beating yourself up. 

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Before we get into it, I want to
talk about something very 

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exciting, something that's here 
for a limited time. 

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The 60 minute Self Doubt Detox. 
This is a call where I help you 

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cleanse the negative thoughts 
out of your brain. 

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The thoughts that make you judge
yourself, make you feel bad. 

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The thoughts that disconnect you
from you. 

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This is a call designed to help 
you no longer doubt yourself 

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anymore, to eliminate the 
negative brain chatter in your 

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mind. 
These calls are only available 

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for March. 
I wanted to do something for the

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spring. 
It's women's month. 

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There's just so many amazing 
things happening and I wanted to

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offer this to you, give you the 
opportunity to have the space to

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actually come to a call, talk 
about what's going on in your 

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life, the struggles, the pain, 
everything, and work through 

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that. 
Have opportunity to heal that so

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the self doubt detox is 
available. 

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It's only here for this month, 
so make sure you grab on it. 

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You can go ahead. 
You can join with the link in 

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the description box. 
All right, let's get into the 

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episode. 
The only thing that you're 

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missing is compassion, 
compassion, compassion. 

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Most people think compassion is 
about how we treat other people,

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but compassion is something we 
rarely give to ourselves. 

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I wanted to define compassion. 
I have like my definition. 

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I was like, oh, I wonder what 
the real definition is. 

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So my definition of compassion 
is to give yourself 

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understanding, to give yourself 
grace, giving yourself a break. 

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The dictionary says Google says 
compassion is the understanding 

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of another suffering combined 
with the desire to take action 

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to alleviate the suffering. 
This is so important. 

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If you haven't listened to 
Tuesday's episode, I talked 

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about the five powerful truths 
that you need to know about 

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life. 
It's something like that. 

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Let me let me search for you 
guys. 

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It is episode 286, Five powerful
lessons that will change how you

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think. 
Make sure you listen to that 

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episode after this one. 
If you didn't know, I post 

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episodes every Tuesday and 
Friday. 

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So make sure that you follow the
show, subscribe to the show so 

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you never miss an episode. 
Did you subscribe yet? 

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Did you follow yet? 
Did you do it right now? 

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But anywho, we're going back to 
the Tuesday's episode. 

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I talk about how life is hard. 
The one thing you need to know 

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is that life is very hard. 
Life is challenging, life is 

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tough, life is unfair. 
So when these situations show 

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up, because they will, because 
they will, are you willing to 

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give yourself compassion in 
those shitty moments? 

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Are you willing to understand 
your suffering without shame or 

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judgement? 
Are you willing to be your 

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friend instead of your enemy? 
I found this quote by Christine 

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Neff. 
She is a leading researcher on 

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self compassion and I found this
article she mentions with self 

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compassion. 
We give ourselves the same 

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kindness and care we would give 
to a good friend. 

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Yeah, most of us don't do that. 
We become our own bully. 

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Like we're not our friend or 
like friend. 

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Like who's that? 
We're our biggest bully. 

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We're our biggest self critic. 
We are the mean girl to 

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ourselves. 
Like we are not our friends. 

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We typically fight against who 
we are and what we're doing. 

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And honestly, that's why I 
created the self doubt detox. 

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So you're no longer fighting 
with yourself that you're no 

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longer mean to yourself because 
it's not you, it's not you, it's

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not your soul, it's your brain. 
It's your brain that has 

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convinced you all the reasons 
why you should doubt yourself, 

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why you should judge yourself, 
why you shouldn't love yourself.

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It's the voices in your head. 
Have you heard like I love that 

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song. 
I think the artist is Amaya. 

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Like the song is really good, 
but I've seen like TikTok 

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variations. 
I don't even have TikTok, but 

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real variations of like the 
voices in my head go. 

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I'm not good enough. 
I hate my life. 

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This is terrible. 
But it's a good song. 

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All the voices in my head go 
anywho, we want to quiet the 

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negative voices in your head. 
Everyone has them. 

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We have an average of 14,000 to 
60,000 thoughts per day. 

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So the self doubt detox helps 
you interrupt that voice. 

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The negativity in your mind. 
I want to talk about, but like 

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how? 
Like how do I give myself 

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compassion? 
I can hear you now, like, OK 

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Perry, that's cool, but how I 
can hear you already? 

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I think the best place to start 
is with an analogy. 

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I want you to imagine a kid who 
just lost a soccer game. 

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Parent number one says, what's 
wrong with you? 

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You're embarrassing. 
You should have played it 

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better. 
Parent #2 says, I know that was 

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hard. 
I saw how hard you tried. 

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Losing sucks, but I'm proud of 
you for showing up. 

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Same situation 2. 
Completely different outcomes. 1

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outcome is rooted in judgement 
and the other outcome is rooted 

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in love, rooted in compassion, 
respect, grace, giving yourself 

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a break. 
And the only thing that is 

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different is the dialogue, the 
words communicated to the kid. 

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Most of us are communicating to 
ourselves like the first parent.

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What's wrong with you? 
You're embarrassing. 

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You should have played better. 
How you show yourself more 

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compassion is by the dialogue 
that you have with yourself, the

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communication that you have with
yourself. 

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So how do you actually start 
doing this? 

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It starts with changing the 
dialogue you have with yourself 

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during the failure, the hard 
moments. 

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Instead of saying I'm such an 
idiot, I'm so stupid, try that 

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didn't go as I hoped it would, 
but I'm learning we all start 

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from somewhere. 
Instead of saying I always mess 

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up, try, this was a mistake. 
Mistakes are a part of life. 

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Mistakes are a part of growth. 
I'm proud that I showed up. 

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And this isn't like toxic 
positivity. 

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This is actually emotional 
maturity, being emotionally 

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strong and stable for yourself 
in the shitty tough moments of 

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life. 
So I wrote down a couple 

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questions. 
When you lose, when you have the

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failure, the tough moments, when
life is hard, how do you want to

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talk to yourself? 
Let's decide right now, when you

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fall on your face, how do you 
want to communicate to yourself?

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How do you want to talk to 
yourself? 

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What's the dialogue you want to 
have with yourself? 

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Something that I tell myself all
the time is, it's OK, it's OK. 

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You had missed expectations, 
It's OK. 

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It didn't go the way you wanted 
it. 

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It's OK. 
I'm proud of you for showing up,

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for trying. 
Not a lot of people have the 

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balls to do so, but you did. 
You're actually a step ahead of 

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the pack. 
And yes, I didn't conquer the 

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challenge, but I survived. 
I'm still here and now I'm the 

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person who survived this, who 
went through this. 

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What doesn't kill you makes you 
stronger. 

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And then how can you show 
yourself kindness instead of 

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hatred? 
Again, that's like the dialogue 

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you have with yourself, but 
like, what are you physically 

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doing? 
Are you punishing yourself by 

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overworking, not doing fun 
things? 

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Like you're like, I can't do 
this anymore, whatever it is. 

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Like, are you punishing yourself
for doing something quote UN 

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quote wrong or not right or 
whatever the reason why you're 

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not giving yourself compassion 
because XY and Z, are you 

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punishing yourself for that or 
are you giving yourself 

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kindness? 
For me, I love a good hug. 

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I always hug myself anytime I am
just feeling like I need love, 

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grace, compassion. 
When I just need a fucking 

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break, I give myself a hug. 
I'll take myself and get some 

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ice cream. 
I'll let myself watch my show 

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and I'll allow myself to cry. 
So how can you actually show 

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yourself the grace, the 
compassion? 

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How can you actually let me go 
back to the definition? 

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How can you actually understand 
your suffering and at the same 

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time have the strong desire to 
take action to alleviate the 

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suffering, which I love the like
second part of that definition. 

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It's not like we're just 
understanding the suffering and 

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staying in the suffering and 
wallowing and pitying ourselves 

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for weeks and weeks and weeks at
a time. 

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So now we understand and we move
forward. 

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So how are you going to move 
forward? 

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The last question I wrote down 
is looking at the house 

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improvements instead of doing a 
whole home like remodel and 

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demo. 
Like you don't need to tear down

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the whole kitchen to have a 
beautiful home. 

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Maybe you just need to repaint 
the kitchen cabinets, or maybe 

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do the counters like a different
marble. 

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Whatever it is, do some granite 
in there. 

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Maybe just change the floors, 
the tiles, or maybe you just 

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want a cute little mat in front 
of your sink. 

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Like you don't need to 
completely change everything to 

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have a different outcome, to 
have a different result, to give

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yourself that compassion. 
So you want to look at what's 

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working. 
You want to look at what's going

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right. 
You want to look at the 

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positivity, the lessons, the 
self improvement projects 

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instead of tearing yourself 
down. 

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That's the number one thing 
you're missing. 

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If you want to stop beating 
yourself up, if you want to stop

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being so hard on yourself is you
need to start giving yourself 

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compassion, understanding your 
suffering and taking action to 

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relieve the pain. 
One of my favorite authors, 

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Brené Brown says talk to 
yourself like you would to 

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someone you love. 
Your inner dialogue is the 

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environment. 
Your confidence grows where 

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yourself love grows. 
Criticism kills the self well 

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that you have, while compassion 
fuels it. 

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If you're realizing today that 
your biggest struggle isn't 

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discipline or being motivated, 
it's the voice of self doubt in 

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your head, then the self doubt 
detox is for you. 

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Inside, you're going to learn to
break the cycle of overthinking,

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stop the consistent nagging and 
self criticism, and build real 

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self trust, confidence and 
compassion. 

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And you probably know by now 
that beating yourself up doesn't

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make you feel better. 
It makes you feel worse and it 

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keeps you stuck. 
Compassion allows you to learn, 

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adjust, and move forward because
life is hard. 

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You will make mistakes and 
things won't always go according

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to plan, but in these moments, 
the most powerful thing you can 

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do is give yourself compassion, 
grace, understanding, and a 

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little break. 
This is why I created the Self 

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Doubt detox. 
I would love to support you this

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month. 
You can go ahead. 

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You can join with the link and 
then show notes. 

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All right, I love you so much. 
I'll see you in the next one. 

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Bye. 
Thank you so much for listening 

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to the Mindset Babe podcast. 
If you are looking to get more 

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confidence and take action 
towards your dreams, then I want

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00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:31,240
to invite you to work with me. 
Ioffer private one-on-one 

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mentorship. 
This mentorship will teach you 

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00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:36,640
everything about goal setting, 
time management, and 

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00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:40,200
manifestation so you can 
transform your mindset. 

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00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,080
Get the tools to become the 
badass you were meant to be. 

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00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,040
Register with the link in the 
show notes.