Welcome to the Mindset Bay podcast.
If you want more confidence and motivation then you're in the
right place every week at your dose of self development advice
and strategies. I'm your host Perry Richardson,
life coach, N OP practitioner, motivational speaker and mental
health advocate. My mission is hope you find more
happiness and take more action in your life.
Now let's begin. Hello, hello, hello, babe.
Welcome to the Mindset Babe podcast.
In today's episode, I want to talk about feeling behind.
Feeling behind in life, feeling behind in business and career,
feeling behind in relationships, just feeling behind like you're
not where you're supposed to be. And I really wanted to do this
episode because with the new year, it can be a mixed bag of
emotions. On one side, it's exciting and
it's motivating and it's like, let's go.
And also, there could be some shame, some guilt, frustration,
and some disappointment. And I really want to touch on
this today and first say that no matter how you're feeling right
now, it's valid. It is so valid and you are fully
capable of feeling this emotion in your body.
And I recently just experienced this recently.
This is actually going to be kind of my recent
transformation, something that I got coached on.
So being super honest and vulnerable in today's episode.
But I remember last year, so like going into 2025, I was so
defeated. I wasn't motivated.
And typically with the new year, I'm like, yeah, like, let's go.
I'm so excited. But I wasn't.
And I had so much disappointment because I didn't hit my goals
that year. And this year I didn't hit all
my goals and at the same time, I still have that excitement and
I'm still ready to go. And I have such a great plan for
this year. Actually, in my mastermind,
we're doing a three-year plan event.
So I've been planning and thinking about my next three
years and my life and my business.
But I really wanted to record this episode.
I have some notes here. I guess I'll get into it, but I
think it's really important and I think this needs to be said
because I think a lot of people may not be excited for the new
year. Then you see all the stuff on
the Internet and you're like, something's wrong with me.
And I'm not excited for the new year.
I'm not excited for my goals. And I actually feel very, very,
very heavy in the new year. So let's get into it.
But before we get into it, make sure you follow me on Instagram,
The mindset, babe. I started a community over
there. There's a literally over 200
people in this. Like it's so crazy.
And in this community, I'm posting real time breakthroughs
behind the scenes. Like I posted like me at lunch,
like in my car at my 9:00 to 5:00.
Like I really want to show the more authentic version of me and
really show you behind the scenes of what it's like to be a
regular person just like you with hardship, with obstacles,
that who is still working a nine to five job and also still
showing up for their dreams, their goals, their passions.
So follow me on Instagram, the mindset Babe and make sure you
join the community. It's right in my bio section.
It's called the mindset babe community.
And if you're in the community, you already know that I'm
talking about this. Like I already dropped like a 3
minute voice note about this topic already.
So I'm excited to do a full podcast episode, but make sure
you get into the community because I'm dropping wisdom,
knowledge, inspiration. Literally, it's going to be the
best place on Instagram. All right, so a couple days
before my birthday, which was in December, December 23rd, I have
a whole two-part series about lessons in my 20s.
I just turned 30. But anyhow, it was a couple days
before my birthday and with my birthday becoming 30 and then
the year coming up, I felt like a fucking loser.
Y'all. I felt like a loser.
I felt like a failure because I didn't accomplish the biggest
goal I had for 2025. Like my biggest goal was to
finally leave my 9:00 to 5:00 and to go full time in my
business and it didn't happen. I'm still working on my 9:00 to
5:00 job and I felt like a loser that I didn't accomplish my
goals and really just thinking I'm a loser, I'm a fucking
failure. Created so much disappointment
for me and frustration. And I kind of had a lot of
shame. Like what's wrong with you?
Like why has it been taking you so long?
And I was thinking about this just for like 2-3 days and it
was so painful. Like when you feel like you're
behind, it's so painful. It's a terrible experience.
And I was like, I need help, I need coaching.
So I got coached and what my coach told me was so amazing and
completely shifted everything for me.
I was like, I got to record a podcast and tell you.
So my coach asked me, whose timeline are you comparing
yourself to? Whose timeline are you comparing
yourself to? Because you only feel behind
because you are comparing your timeline to someone else's
timeline. And I realize I was comparing
myself to someone who is literally like 8 years older
than me and been in business for 10 years.
And I was comparing my timeline to someone else's timeline.
And we're at completely different points in life.
So of course their timeline is more advanced, right?
You've just been on this planet for a little bit longer than I
have. Of course, your timeline may or
may not be advanced, right? Of course, right?
The more time you have on the timeline, the more opportunities
you have for growth, right? And so I was comparing myself to
this person, and also I was comparing myself to an invisible
marker that I created for myself that I just made-up a random
number of like, oh, once I hit this number, then I'll be
worthy, I'll be fully capable and I'll know that I have
arrived. And I just made this number up
and it was just so interesting when my coach asked me this
question of like, whose timeline are you comparing yourself to?
It just broke something free, like, inside of me.
And I realize the biggest problem when it comes to feeling
behind, like the only reason we feel behind is because we're
comparing ourself to someone else.
Like that's the problem. And the solution is instead of
using comparison, we have to use inspiration.
And so when you compare yourself and you do it in a negative way
versus using them as inspiration and possibility, it's so
painful. You feel like a loser, you feel
like a failure. Like you're like, what is wrong
with me? Like, why am I, like, what's
wrong with me? Like I feel like I should have
figured out Wi-Fi now and clearly it's not happening and
I'm just what the fuck? Like, I feel like that was
really like my dialogue, to be honest with you guys.
And when you're in that space, it's so hard to love yourself.
And we have to learn how to love ourselves when we're not at our
goal yet. Recently I was listening to a
podcast and she talked about 1% of life is when we hit the goal.
99% of life is going for the goal.
Like 99% of your life is the journey.
And we have to want the journey. We have to love the journey.
We have to be excited for the journey.
And to be excited for the journey, we have to learn how to
use other people for inspiration instead of comparison and doom
and gloom and to find evidence that we're not capable and all
the things. So I have 4 things on my list to
help you stop comparing yourself to other people in a negative
light and use them as inspiration.
All right, the first thing you need to know is the law of
oneness. This law states that everything
is interconnected. What is possible for one is
possible for all. I'm a huge believer and I've
talked about this on the podcast.
Every single human being is a window of opportunity of how
your life could be. The person that is rich,
beautiful, family, traveling the world, whatever it is, whatever
you want. You see that on Instagram, on
Netflix, whatever it is that is possible for you and also the
person on the street begging for money while you're waiting to
get off the freeway, that is also a possibility for you.
And every human being is a window of possibility of what
your life could be like. And anytime that you're jealous,
it's actually a secret desire of being like, I want this.
The only reason why you're jealous is because you want
that. You secretly want that and to
own it, to own your desires and to know if that person can have
it, so can you. Because what is possible for one
is possible for all. So you need to know that number
2 is actually like a strategy. Like what to do?
Please please please please please please please unfollow or
mute someone because I understand unfollowing people
can cause drama. Mute them or unfollow them.
Mute or unfollow anyone you compare yourself to.
If you compare yourself to them or you are like talking shit in
your mind about them, like judging them.
If you're judging yourself or judging them, mute them, block
them, unfollow them, get them out of your orbit, get them out
of your feed, please, immediately.
You can mute people on Instagram.
I have done it several, several times.
And you can actually unfollow someone on Facebook, like go
still be like friends with them, but you'll like unfollow their
stuff like on the Instagram or sorry, the Facebook feed.
So you can unfollow people and not get that drama and that self
doubt and that judgment, like all the negative thinking.
We need to get rid of it. So unfollow, unmute the people
that you compare yourself to and instead follow people that
inspire you. If you're listening to this
podcast, I'm just going to assume that I inspire you, which
is so much fun. I love you so much.
Follow me on Instagram. The mindset, babe.
Get into the community, what you do when you want daily
inspiration, Listen to this podcast, but also follow me on
Instagram. You can follow me on Facebook
too. I'm pretty sure it's a public
Facebook page. I'm pretty sure it's public.
Follow me, it's Perry Richardson.
If you want to be friends on Facebook, let's do it.
But you want to make sure that you follow motivational
inspiring accounts and I actually like on Instagram,
that's where I spend most of my time is you can actually like
favor it. I feel like I said, that's so
weird. You can favor it accounts and
those accounts will automatically like appear first
on your feed. And I believe you can do maybe
30. And all of my favorite accounts
are inspirational accounts and they're the first things I look
at when I go on Instagram. So do that.
And also I wrote down did you know you can mute suggested
post? It's like my favorite thing ever
because I feel like I compare myself the most to suggested
posts. Like I'm not even following you.
Like why are you even in my feed bro?
Get out of here. So you can actually snooze
suggested post on Instagram. I'm pretty sure also on
Facebook. You know when there's like a
post, there should be like 3 little dots I think on the top
right. Click that and it'll be like
snooze. And then Instagram will prompt
you. Do you want to snooze suggested
post for 30 days? Hit yes, you're welcome.
That has honestly changed my life.
All right, another thing to know, so you need to know the
law of oneness, but you also need to know you are currently
living one of your prayers. You are currently living one of
your prayers. Girl, I remember a time where I
prayed to have a car and I do now.
I remember I prayed to be a home owner and now I am.
I remember I prayed to have a job and now I do.
I remember I prayed that this podcast would be successful when
someone would actually be listening to me right now.
And it's happening. Even though I felt like a loser
and I felt like a failure and I didn't hit my big goal, I am
still currently living one of my prayers.
I remember a time my eczema was so bad my skin was literally
falling apart and I was wishing and praying please I don't want
to look like this. And now my skin is healed.
I remember a time I was like I wish I knew how to save money.
I wish I was disciplined with money.
I wish that I knew how to manage my money and now I do.
Even though my life isn't amazing and perfect and I didn't
hit my big goal, I am still living one of my current prayers
and I bet you are too. There was a time where you
wished and you prayed that you would have this life.
Now you are currently living one of your prayers.
Can I get a Amen? And this principle right here
woke me the fuck up. I was like, why am I
complaining? Why am I complaining?
I have food, I have water, I have shelter.
I even have sour Patch kids and a top rated podcast.
And I just got married. Life is pretty good.
It's OK. It is OK.
And I'm recording this in my bed.
Like what is like, girl, you're going to be fine.
You're going to be fine. You're currently living one of
your prayers. You're good, you're Gucci, OK,
You're currently living one of your prayers.
It could be way, way, way, way, way worse.
Way worse. The last thing I want to talk
about, which is like another strategy thing, I got to have
what you need to know for the mindset, but also action is very
important. We got to talk about the
strategy. So the second strategy action
question is when you think about their timeline, like the person
you're comparing yourself to, why do you think their timeline
is more advanced than yours? Like what do you think the
difference between you and them are?
When you answer that question? You can use that as bread
crumbs. Like you can use that as, oh,
this is what I need to do. The only reason why you're quote
UN quote behind isn't because you're broken, isn't because
you're not good enough, isn't because you're not capable.
It's because they're just doing different things than you.
And for me, when it came to my business, I was like, oh,
probably because she has higher prices than me and she just
creates more opportunities for her audience to engage with her.
Like she's doing podcast, she's on Instagram, she's on LinkedIn.
Like she's out there, she's being visible.
OK, maybe I should start being more visible, but I also had
another example of like becoming healthier because that's also
one of my goals this year. Like I really want to focus back
on my body and my health, but I'm like, oh, the only reason
why this person has a better body than me or is more
healthier than me is because they decided to be in the gym
and to eat healthy. Like that makes sense.
That checks outlet me do those things because success leaves
clues. This is why coaching is so
important is if you want someone's timeline, like ask
them for example, like for my business coach, like I want her
timeline. So I'm working with her, my life
coach, like my personal life coach.
I get coached on just all the life things.
I want her life, so I work with her.
So coaching mentorship is so important because if you want
someone's timeline, you can ask them because they already
created the path, They already created the map for you to go
on. And they're like, Oh my
goodness, watch out. There's going to be a snake down
there and you might get bit and don't go down that path because
it's just going to loop you around.
You're going to start from the beginning.
Like they know how to get you from start to finish.
And that's why I invest in coaching.
Literally every coaching investment I've made is because
the coach, I want their fucking life like I want it.
And if they're offering help, if they're offering to teach me how
to live their life, teach me everything I want to know, teach
me how to be successful, happy, all the things in love, like I
want to know it. Tell me the secret to the
universe. Tell me it.
That's what I have for you in today's episode.
Just a recap. Like, how do you actually love
yourself when you're feeling behind #1 the law of oneness?
You need to know this. Like this needs to be like
embedded in your mindset immediately.
The law of oneness. What is possible for one is
possible for all #2 please unfollow or mute anyone that you
compare yourself to. Please #3 also know you are
currently living one of your prayers.
Can I get a Amen, Amen. And the last thing is let's
actually use them as strategy. Like what did they do it?
Let me do that. So what do you think that person
did? And just copy them?
Just copy what they did. That's what I have for you in
today's podcast episode. I love you so much.
I know this is going to be so impactful, so helpful, and I
just love this episode. I feel like I really didn't have
too many notes, like I'm really trying to express more of me in
the podcast. That's one of my goals is to be
more real, more honest, and to show you what it's like to be a
human with big goals, with all the life shit happening.
I love you so much and I will see you next week.
Bye. Thank you so much for listening
to the Mindset Babe podcast. If you are looking to get more
confidence and take action towards your dreams, then I want
to invite you to work with me. Ioffer private one-on-one
mentorship. This mentorship will teach you
everything about goal setting, time management and
manifestation so you can transform your mindset, get the
tools, become the badass you were meant to be.
Register with the link in the show notes.