Welcome to the Mindset Bay podcast.
If you want more confidence and motivation then you're in the
right place every week at your dose of self development advice
and strategies. I'm your host Perry Richardson,
life coach, N OP practitioner, motivational speaker and mental
health advocate. My mission is hope you find more
happiness and take more action in your life.
Now let's begin. Hello, hello, hello, babe.
Welcome to the Mindset Babe podcast.
In today's episode, we're talking about healing your inner
child, handling disappointment as an adult, and how to become
your future self. This episode is a very, very
special one. If you have been curious to see
what happens inside Becoming Her.
Today you have a front row seat. I am going to be playing a live
coaching call I had with one of my Becoming Her students.
Becoming Her is a six month coaching program designed to
change how you feel, how you react, and how you show up in
your life, Especially when disappointment happens, when
things don't go your way. This work isn't about coping or
pushing through it. It's about being emotionally
grounded, confident and steady no matter what's happening
around you. And if you're wondering what
does a coach actually do? Like what is even a life coach?
A coach is someone that gets rid of your negative thoughts.
They're able to help you process past pain and hurt that's
holding you back, and they're able to create a game plan to
help you move towards your future.
And this is the exact work we do inside becoming her.
Becoming her is my private 6 month coaching program
completely personalized to you, your patterns, your emotions,
your history, your goals. This isn't just like a group
core, something that's very generic.
This is tailored to you. This is high level 1 to one
coaching. It's for the woman who has it
all on paper, the degree, the career, the home and still
doesn't feel good enough. She doesn't believe she's in
enough to be worthy. She carries disappointment and
no matter how much she achieves and never feels good enough.
If this is you apply to becoming her, I can help you.
Applications close February 8th. You can apply with the link in
the show notes. If you have any questions,
please e-mail me. You can e-mail me at
theperryrichardson@gmail.com. Again, that's the Perry
richardson@gmail.com. My e-mail will also be in the
show notes. All right, let's get into this
coaching call. What if you could never
disappoint yourself? Like, so it was like a punch, a
punch in the gut thinking about that.
And what does a life like that look like?
I don't think I've ever not disappointed myself.
I think even in times when I am, I guess it's it's more of a
choice these days. If I'm choosing to say this is
good, you are good. But there's always a little bit
of a little twinge disappointment because my
expectations for myself are so incredibly high.
So I guess it would just have to be a choice of accepting that
it's, I can't ever disappoint myself and I'm going to love
myself regardless of the outcome.
But I'm also realizing now that maybe I've been focusing too
much on the outcome and not focusing it as much on maybe how
it makes me feel. So maybe I did something and
it's not that I'm I did something and I did it well, and
that should not be looked at as a disappointment.
But I've been looking at it as a disappointment because maybe the
outcome wasn't my old idea of perfect.
Maybe I yeah, maybe I need to start looking more at me and
less at the outcome and I'll be less disappointed.
Yeah. Oh, I love that.
Like outcomes just results, then our results end up being
circumstances and we use how we think and feel and act around
those circumstances. Yeah, that sounds like a much
lighter way of living. You know, less like, wow I
really suck and more wow, I'm actually really awesome.
And then going back to like, you could only really like
disappoint yourself with the thoughts you have.
Like you're the circumstance and you have thoughts about yourself
that creates disappointment. So it's only your thoughts about
yourself that create that disappointment.
I had an experience. It's so funny building a
business. You have, like, so many just
like soaked out and like all the things.
And I remember another time I was like about to get another
consultation called, and I felt the anxiety in my chest.
I was just like, so scared. I was so nervous.
And I got upstairs and I'm like, what is this like about?
And what what I told myself was she might hurt you.
They might hurt you. Yeah, so interesting.
Like that was like my animal brain, the the seven-year old
version, like my sub, my Oh my goodness, my subconscious, which
is only 7 years old. So the seven, seven-year old
inside of me is like they're gonna hurt you.
But I was like, no one's gonna hurt you.
Yeah, I got you, girl. Like I'm an adult, like I got
you. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
Like hold my hand like I'm gonna we got this together.
And then I was really thinking yesterday in the car, like the
only one that can hurt me is me. Me telling me that it was
terrible and I suck and I can't do this and I'm not capable and
it's my fault. The person on the call can't
hurt me. It's me.
I like that. I mean, I don't like that your
friend was talking to yourself that way, but I like the
rebuttal of it of, you know, I'm the one that's causing this to
happen more than the other person.
Excuse me, I think it was, I don't know, some book that I
read talked about how you have to own your portion of every
situation 100%. So it's like you, that other
person on the call doesn't have 100% control of how you feel,
only you do. So that's a really good point of
even if they tried to hurt you, I mean, maybe there is a way
that they could, but it's more so how you feel about yourself
and the thoughts that you have about it that could bring the
most pain. So that's a, that's a really
good way to look at it. If I'm the one that's probably,
I'm protecting myself from myself at the end of the day,
instead of just being my own biggest cheerleader and just
believing that I I can do it. I recently changed my alarms on
my phone and it's been I'm capable, I'm ready, I'm
prepared, this is my moment. Oh, I love that.
I love that. That's an excellent reminder.
And then even when you're scared like that, soaked out, it's just
that little girl inside of you trying to protect you.
Yeah, well, you're grown. You have.
To. Take care of this.
I could be her mother. I mean, relax.
Yeah. That's a good point though, that
poor thing. She probably needs some more
love. What is she trying to tell you?
I think maybe she's still feeling incapable.
Maybe it's my inner child who maybe she's just feeling stuck
and that she's trying to just communicate with me and maybe
I'm not hearing her and now she's frustrated, which is
probably making me frustrated. I'm not.
I'm just, yeah, maybe I haven't been as in tune with myself as I
thought I had been. And so she's probably trying to
tell me that of, you know, girl, you need some more inward time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to put your hands on
your heart, close your eyes, take a deep breath in.
Let it out. Sometimes we just need to take a
moment and listen to what our body is trying to tell us.
What is she trying to tell you? The first thing that comes to
mind is that she's scared. It feels really dark and heavy
and kind of like a rain cloud. And then she needs a hug.
She's just kind of going through it and just needs some support.
Anything else feeling? I just, I, I picture in my chest
and it's dark and standing there with an umbrella and there's a
rain cloud and it's just kind of dark and stormy.
And I feel like when I am in a dark and stormy season that all
I'm really looking for is just a hug, just some support.
Take a deep breath in. Let it out.
Another deep breath in. Let it out.
What do you want to tell her? That it's OK, we all have rainy
days and that I am here to listen and to be her support.
And I've got hugs for days. Take a deep breath in, let it
out. I really want you to visualize
you and her together. You now the younger version of
you. This imagine you guys hugging,
embracing, feeling the love and support and then the rain stops,
the clouds part, the sun is shining.
You don't have to be scared anymore because you have each
other. You guys got each other?
Take a deep breath in. Let it out.
Whenever you're ready, you can open your eyes.
Bless you. How was that?
That feels much lighter, much lighter, feels orange in my
chest now instead of black and dark and stormy.
But I mean, I physically smiled when you had me walk into that
visualization and just kind of being there with her.
And I think it also felt good for this version of me to be
there with her and kind of being comforted at comforted, sorry,
comforted in knowing that I'm not alone.
And also grateful that I have this opportunity to go back and
let these past versions of myself know that that we made
it, that we're going to be all right.
Bless you. Makes me feel a little less
alone on this growth journey as well as like, OK, I'm bringing
along all of these other versions of me that felt unloved
and unworthy and not as good as everyone else.
As I'm stepping into this version of myself that knows
that that I am just as good as everyone else and I have my own
strengths and my own things that make me amazing, which is still
a little hard to say. I had to hesitate before it came
out. So it's it's a process, but I
feel hopeful in knowing that I can kind of bring some peace to
former versions of myself, to have more peace as I'm stepping
into my future self. Why are you so amazing?
I always just default to what everyone else says about me, but
I suppose when I think of myself and what I think is amazing, I
can cook decently, I can pick edible things.
When I allow myself to be, I can be the life of the party and I
can also be a shoulder to cry on.
So tying that into a beautiful knot, I love that I am
multifaceted and I am amazing because I'm multifaceted and I
can do and be who and what serves me in the moment.
And I suppose not everybody can do that.
So that, I think, helps me stand out and helps me feel and
recognize my amazingness. So good.
And then why is that like so impactful?
For me, it's impactful because I've spent 32 years of living
believing that to not be true and believing that I was always
missing something or I needed to work harder, that I needed to
earn worthiness and love from other people.
And hearing myself say out loud that I am amazing and that, and
taking a moment to not just regurgitate what other people
have said to me that I've just kind of taken on.
Even if it's true, it's still someone else's opinion, someone
else's thought. So for me, it feels impactful
because it's something I created on my own.
It's something I believe about myself on my own.
And having that mindset's really going to open the doors that
I've been waiting to open for a long time.
I love. That I kind of feel like talk to
your past self. I kind of want to talk to your
future self if that's OK. Yeah, we can do that.
I'm sure she's willing. All right, close your eyes, put
your hands on your heart. Take a deep breath in.
Let it out. Thinking of Courtney 10 years
from now, what does she tell you about this moment?
How did you go through the challenges?
How were you able to trust yourself?
How were you able to build the life of your dream?
He is telling me that she smiles a lot and that she leads with
joy. And I learned recently from
Joyce Meyer that Joy is the is being content in the trust of
the process. And that's what my higher self
did. She just LED with joy, LED with
belief and trust that everything was working out for her good.
And it did. She got here by simply trusting
and choosing joy. How can you choose joy more?
By not doing everything I said at the beginning of this phone
call. By choosing to just trust the
positive side of things instead of leaning into the worst case
scenario and letting that be my guiding light.
Choosing to follow the flow instead of the friction.
The other word of advice. To breathe and to find space.
Find mental space. Find physical space outside in
nature. And love and relationships to
find the freedom to exist in the space.
Take a deep breath in, get it out.
Want you to visualize your future version, you in 10 years
in your current self, hugging each other and bracing each
other. She's telling you you did it,
you made it. I'm so proud of you.
Everything is going to be fine. Take a deep breath in and let it
out. Take another deep breath in.
Let out whenever you're ready. You can open your eyes that.
Was fun. How was that experience told me
everything. It was interesting because I
imagine her being larger than me, even though I'm not going to
grow in the next 10 years. But maybe it's just maybe she
wears high heels and that's why she was standing taller than me.
And she just had this big, beautiful, effervescent smile.
And this just like calmness to her, like almost like talking to
my mom. Yeah.
It was just, there's just a lot of peace there.
Just a lot of tranquility, a lot of like an innate confidence.
Not like a not when you think of confidence of like a Sasha
Fierce Beyoncé, but just like someone that like she just was
so sure of herself and just so like rooted and grounded and
also light and air, you know, I don't know how to do.
She's feels so complex to this version of me.
But she was very just calm and reassuring and confident and
motherly, maternal maybe I want to say.
And I guess. Yeah, just reassuring and that
it's going to be OK. You're going to get here.
You've got this. Relax.
I'm relaxed, you know it's happening, it's coming.
Just find the space, find the peace, find your joy so you can
continue to get to get here, to get here 10 years from now.
Yeah, and I love that quote that you said.
Like, what was joy is like enjoying the process of the
journey. What was it?
I got to find it because I don't want to misquote her because,
you know, Joyce Meyer's queen and I love her.
Oh, of course I didn't save it, sorry.
We can keep talking while I'm searching.
I love that because it's all about the journey, because
realistically 1% of 1% of like life is achieving our goal.
Like the moment we achieve our goal, that's a moment in time.
It's not a day, an hour. Like it's like, Oh my God, we
achieved it. The excitement's there and then
it dissipates. 89% of life is the journey.
And so why not choose to enjoy the journey?
You know, why not choose to find the joy in the process rather
than again focusing on the outcome?
Because the outcome will be what it will be, and it will finish
when it gets finished. And so until then, you know, how
can you find joy? It's like thinking about like
Bill Gates, like I'm sure in the process of building his legacy,
it had wasn't always easy, but he still found the compelling
reasons why he found the desire. He found the joy so he could
make his legacy. So I found it.
So the truth is, joy is a major part of God's plan for us.
Unlike happiness and emotion that can disappear as quickly as
it comes, joy is a choice. The joy of the Lord is much
greater than simply feeling happy.
It brings peace and contentment to your soul even when your
circumstances are difficult. So that's what I feel like joy
is, right is, is having that peace and contentment in your
soul, even when things don't feel joyful.
And it's it's a step up from happiness, right?
You're so happy, but it's a step up of that.
Happiness Plus, I guess is what joy is for me.
Happiness plus. No subscription needed.
Yes, no subscription needed. Unlimited supply so free.
That's OK, But yeah, right. If 99% of life is quote UN
quote, the struggle, the journey, the messiness, the
hardness, let's learn to love it and have joy in it.
Because imagine hating 99% of your life because you're not.
Been there, wasn't a good time and.
I think it's a great reminder too, to have like gratitude of
like, even though we're not there yet when we think of like,
like a milestone chart, like we still have achieved so much.
There is a time where you wish that you had kids and that you
had a job and you like had a family and you're here now like
you are currently living one of your prayers and we forget them.
Like you already read, you're already here.
Yeah, that's AI Love that. You're like, what did you just
say? Oh, no, you're living one of
your prayers. Or it was something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love.
That one of your prayers? Yeah, Yeah.
'Cause there was a point in time where it's like, I can't wait to
have a family. I can't wait to have kids and
you know, and here I am. So why wouldn't I be kind of
soaking this up, if you will, because then the time will come.
I guess the thought now is I can't wait for them to leave and
go to college. I can have my space from them,
even though that's not true, but you know what I mean?
Like it just different prayers for different seasons and I'm in
this one that I've been waiting for and hoping for for so long.
So why would I try to self sabotage it?
Why wouldn't I just enjoy it for what it is?
Yeah, yeah. My coach told me the other day,
like, what a great problem to have.
The problems that we have are actually like a blessing.
For example, I was complaining 'cause the podcast has been on
the top charts and it's like slowly like lower, good going
lower and lower on the charts. And I was like, Oh my goodness,
like this is terrible. Duh, duh, duh.
Like all this stuff down. Like maybe no one likes me.
Like all the things. And she's like, what are like,
great problem to have that you're even like falling off the
top chart. Do you know how many people wish
they could even? Be on, be on the top chart.
Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.
You're right, even like I was cleaning up like New Year's Eve
because I wanted to come in like the new Year with a clean house.
The toilets I'm like, I have toilets to clean at.
Least I have this to clean. Yeah, but at least.
Have a house angry gratitude cleaning.
I'm into that. I hate this stupid toilet, but
at least I have a toilet to clean.
It's not an outhouse you're not peeing in a hole in the
backyard. I mean, it could be worse.
It's. Not like a porta potty, yeah.
Yeah, it could be worse. But also, you know, I think
that's something else that you've taught me of starting
with gratitude is is always a good way to work on your
mindset, right. When I listen to your podcast
about the five questions you should ask yourself before the
end of the year. Aw, scoot, what?
Did I just lose my train of thought?
Oh, you were saying that it's a good idea to start with
gratitude because when you're in that mindset and then you start
doing the rest of the list, you're going from this place of
gratitude and happiness and peace versus let me look at all
the stuff that sucked this year and then go into the good stuff
like it's, there's something about that starting your brain
with, yes, good things happened. Now we can go from there and
continue to process. So I like that even on a daily
of just starting with gratitude to get through my day a little
bit easier, maybe because I started with a place of peace
and happiness. I like, I like that.
I'm gonna try that. And then also I'll send you the
podcast episode. But like my morning routine, the
four questions. The very first question is like,
what are my blessings, wins and celebrations?
I make a list of 10 things and the time like I get to 7, I'm
like, I don't know if I can get to 10, but I always force myself
to get to 10 because there's goals and blessings in my life.
They're there. I just got to search for them.
And when celebrations, blessings, what's working?
Pretty much. And then my second question is
what are three things that need to get done today?
Like today, why? I need to get them done to
create a compelling reason why for me.
And then when and where am I going to do these things?
Because I just say I'm going to do a podcast episode today, but
like, when am I going to record it?
Like when is this actually going to happen?
Yeah, I like that, which goes along with scheduling your weeks
out or your days and things of that nature of it's on the
calendar. So you're less likely to not do
it if it's on the. I mean, that's what I've noticed
in my experience is I'm more likely to do it when I get that
little ping on my phone of hey, it's eleven time to, you know,
throw the load of wash in or whatever it might be.
I'm way more likely to do it when I have those reminders and
when I don't. So yeah, I like that.
I like that. Please send me the episode.
Yes, I will. I will.
Anything else I can help you? With, I don't think so.
I'm excited to see where this momentum takes me.
You know, if I've taken some time today with my inner child,
taking some time with my future self, let's see what present
self is going to do with this this momentum and get some shit
done. Yes, yes.
And you are capable. You're physically well able to
do all the things and your brain will tell you it's your fault.
I'm not capable, I can't handle it.
But going back to your soul, it's fine.
It's already been handled. It's OK.
To trust the process, yes, it's OK to relax.
I think that's yeah, I might need to write that on the wall
going up and down my stairs so I have that physical reminder.
I think that's actually a really good idea I'll do that.
I. Love it.
OK, when do you want to meet next?
If you're listening and thinking I want more, I need this help, I
need this type of support, I can help you.
This is what we do inside of becoming her every single week.
Me and you, working on your confidence, working on yourself,
esteem, handling tough emotions, talking to your past self,
getting wisdom from your future self.
We cover so many things. Every week you and I get on a
call together. We slow things down, we work
through what's happening for you in real time, and we process
emotions as they come up. Not months later.
Not after you've been feeling heavy for months.
After you've already spiraled down into a rabbit hole.
No, we address it right away. And that consistency is what
creates real, lasting change. You also get daily
accountability because transformation doesn't just
happen once a week. It happens in the in between
moments. You're not doing this alone.
You're supported as life is like actually happening around you.
You also get supported through monthly group calls when you're
in a room with women who are doing this work right beside
you, the women who get it, who are growing and who remind you
that you're not behind or broken.
And that kind of support changes everything.
And you get access to a private podcast where there's on demand
coaching, guidance, and emotional processing work that
you can come back to anytime you need it.
Support in your ears, in your body, in your life.
It's waiting for you. Becoming her is high touch,
personalized, and very, very intentional.
It's not for everyone. It's for the woman who is
suffering with a lot of self doubt right now.
She doesn't feel comfortable in her body and it kind of feels
like being overwhelmed and anxious is now her natural
state. If this is you, apply to
Becoming Her applications close February 8th and you can apply
with the link in the show notes. I love you so much, have a good
day. Bye.
Thank you so much for listening to the Mindset Babe podcast.
If you are looking to get more confidence and take action
towards your dreams, then I want to invite you to work with me.
Ioffer private one-on-one mentorship.
This mentorship will teach you everything about goal setting,
time management, and manifestation so you can
transform your mindset. Get the tools.
Become the badass you were meant to be.
Register with the link and the show notes.