1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,840 Welcome to the Mindset Bay podcast. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,280 If you want more confidence and motivation then you're in the 3 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:12,440 right place every week at your dose of self development advice 4 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:15,760 and strategies. I'm your host Perry Richardson, 5 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:20,160 life coach, N OP practitioner, motivational speaker and mental 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:23,480 health advocate. My mission is hope you find more 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:26,280 happiness and take more action in your life. 8 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,160 Now let's begin. Hello, hello, hello, babe. 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:34,560 Welcome to the Mindset Babe podcast. 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,720 In today's episode, we're talking about healing your inner 11 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:47,760 child, handling disappointment as an adult, and how to become 12 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:54,000 your future self. This episode is a very, very 13 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:59,080 special one. If you have been curious to see 14 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:02,200 what happens inside Becoming Her. 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:10,240 Today you have a front row seat. I am going to be playing a live 16 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:15,160 coaching call I had with one of my Becoming Her students. 17 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:20,040 Becoming Her is a six month coaching program designed to 18 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:28,000 change how you feel, how you react, and how you show up in 19 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,400 your life, Especially when disappointment happens, when 20 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:39,080 things don't go your way. This work isn't about coping or 21 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,680 pushing through it. It's about being emotionally 22 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:47,280 grounded, confident and steady no matter what's happening 23 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,480 around you. And if you're wondering what 24 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:55,760 does a coach actually do? Like what is even a life coach? 25 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,880 A coach is someone that gets rid of your negative thoughts. 26 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:07,960 They're able to help you process past pain and hurt that's 27 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:13,800 holding you back, and they're able to create a game plan to 28 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,160 help you move towards your future. 29 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:21,840 And this is the exact work we do inside becoming her. 30 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:27,240 Becoming her is my private 6 month coaching program 31 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:34,360 completely personalized to you, your patterns, your emotions, 32 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:39,240 your history, your goals. This isn't just like a group 33 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,680 core, something that's very generic. 34 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:47,760 This is tailored to you. This is high level 1 to one 35 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,080 coaching. It's for the woman who has it 36 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:58,200 all on paper, the degree, the career, the home and still 37 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,400 doesn't feel good enough. She doesn't believe she's in 38 00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:08,560 enough to be worthy. She carries disappointment and 39 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,320 no matter how much she achieves and never feels good enough. 40 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:18,800 If this is you apply to becoming her, I can help you. 41 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:24,160 Applications close February 8th. You can apply with the link in 42 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,040 the show notes. If you have any questions, 43 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,800 please e-mail me. You can e-mail me at 44 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:35,080 theperryrichardson@gmail.com. Again, that's the Perry 45 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,080 richardson@gmail.com. My e-mail will also be in the 46 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,800 show notes. All right, let's get into this 47 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:47,280 coaching call. What if you could never 48 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:52,360 disappoint yourself? Like, so it was like a punch, a 49 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:54,280 punch in the gut thinking about that. 50 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,440 And what does a life like that look like? 51 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:02,360 I don't think I've ever not disappointed myself. 52 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:08,880 I think even in times when I am, I guess it's it's more of a 53 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,320 choice these days. If I'm choosing to say this is 54 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,880 good, you are good. But there's always a little bit 55 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,120 of a little twinge disappointment because my 56 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,720 expectations for myself are so incredibly high. 57 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,320 So I guess it would just have to be a choice of accepting that 58 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:33,000 it's, I can't ever disappoint myself and I'm going to love 59 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,400 myself regardless of the outcome. 60 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:46,160 But I'm also realizing now that maybe I've been focusing too 61 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:53,640 much on the outcome and not focusing it as much on maybe how 62 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,880 it makes me feel. So maybe I did something and 63 00:04:56,880 --> 00:05:03,520 it's not that I'm I did something and I did it well, and 64 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,080 that should not be looked at as a disappointment. 65 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,280 But I've been looking at it as a disappointment because maybe the 66 00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:16,280 outcome wasn't my old idea of perfect. 67 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,200 Maybe I yeah, maybe I need to start looking more at me and 68 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,880 less at the outcome and I'll be less disappointed. 69 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,800 Yeah. Oh, I love that. 70 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:34,200 Like outcomes just results, then our results end up being 71 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:38,360 circumstances and we use how we think and feel and act around 72 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:42,840 those circumstances. Yeah, that sounds like a much 73 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:48,040 lighter way of living. You know, less like, wow I 74 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,760 really suck and more wow, I'm actually really awesome. 75 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,920 And then going back to like, you could only really like 76 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,200 disappoint yourself with the thoughts you have. 77 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:01,880 Like you're the circumstance and you have thoughts about yourself 78 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,880 that creates disappointment. So it's only your thoughts about 79 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,960 yourself that create that disappointment. 80 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,920 I had an experience. It's so funny building a 81 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,040 business. You have, like, so many just 82 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,200 like soaked out and like all the things. 83 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,000 And I remember another time I was like about to get another 84 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,560 consultation called, and I felt the anxiety in my chest. 85 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,440 I was just like, so scared. I was so nervous. 86 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,720 And I got upstairs and I'm like, what is this like about? 87 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:37,920 And what what I told myself was she might hurt you. 88 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:41,520 They might hurt you. Yeah, so interesting. 89 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,680 Like that was like my animal brain, the the seven-year old 90 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,160 version, like my sub, my Oh my goodness, my subconscious, which 91 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:52,760 is only 7 years old. So the seven, seven-year old 92 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,800 inside of me is like they're gonna hurt you. 93 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,280 But I was like, no one's gonna hurt you. 94 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:04,160 Yeah, I got you, girl. Like I'm an adult, like I got 95 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,440 you. Nobody's gonna hurt you. 96 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,800 Like hold my hand like I'm gonna we got this together. 97 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:13,800 And then I was really thinking yesterday in the car, like the 98 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:17,920 only one that can hurt me is me. Me telling me that it was 99 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:22,040 terrible and I suck and I can't do this and I'm not capable and 100 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:25,200 it's my fault. The person on the call can't 101 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,400 hurt me. It's me. 102 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,000 I like that. I mean, I don't like that your 103 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:37,640 friend was talking to yourself that way, but I like the 104 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:41,160 rebuttal of it of, you know, I'm the one that's causing this to 105 00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,400 happen more than the other person. 106 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:50,040 Excuse me, I think it was, I don't know, some book that I 107 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:54,640 read talked about how you have to own your portion of every 108 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:59,800 situation 100%. So it's like you, that other 109 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,320 person on the call doesn't have 100% control of how you feel, 110 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:06,800 only you do. So that's a really good point of 111 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,880 even if they tried to hurt you, I mean, maybe there is a way 112 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,600 that they could, but it's more so how you feel about yourself 113 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,480 and the thoughts that you have about it that could bring the 114 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:17,240 most pain. So that's a, that's a really 115 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:21,600 good way to look at it. If I'm the one that's probably, 116 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:24,080 I'm protecting myself from myself at the end of the day, 117 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:30,240 instead of just being my own biggest cheerleader and just 118 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:36,799 believing that I I can do it. I recently changed my alarms on 119 00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:42,679 my phone and it's been I'm capable, I'm ready, I'm 120 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:47,560 prepared, this is my moment. Oh, I love that. 121 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,720 I love that. That's an excellent reminder. 122 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,680 And then even when you're scared like that, soaked out, it's just 123 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:57,960 that little girl inside of you trying to protect you. 124 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,120 Yeah, well, you're grown. You have. 125 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,320 To. Take care of this. 126 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:06,760 I could be her mother. I mean, relax. 127 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:11,040 Yeah. That's a good point though, that 128 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,760 poor thing. She probably needs some more 129 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,640 love. What is she trying to tell you? 130 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:30,000 I think maybe she's still feeling incapable. 131 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:36,120 Maybe it's my inner child who maybe she's just feeling stuck 132 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:39,920 and that she's trying to just communicate with me and maybe 133 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:46,160 I'm not hearing her and now she's frustrated, which is 134 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:50,960 probably making me frustrated. I'm not. 135 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:56,360 I'm just, yeah, maybe I haven't been as in tune with myself as I 136 00:09:56,400 --> 00:10:01,120 thought I had been. And so she's probably trying to 137 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,840 tell me that of, you know, girl, you need some more inward time. 138 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,880 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want you to put your hands on 139 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:14,520 your heart, close your eyes, take a deep breath in. 140 00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:21,760 Let it out. Sometimes we just need to take a 141 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,960 moment and listen to what our body is trying to tell us. 142 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:36,640 What is she trying to tell you? The first thing that comes to 143 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:41,880 mind is that she's scared. It feels really dark and heavy 144 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:49,880 and kind of like a rain cloud. And then she needs a hug. 145 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:55,000 She's just kind of going through it and just needs some support. 146 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:09,280 Anything else feeling? I just, I, I picture in my chest 147 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,680 and it's dark and standing there with an umbrella and there's a 148 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,320 rain cloud and it's just kind of dark and stormy. 149 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:25,280 And I feel like when I am in a dark and stormy season that all 150 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,840 I'm really looking for is just a hug, just some support. 151 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:40,640 Take a deep breath in. Let it out. 152 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:50,960 Another deep breath in. Let it out. 153 00:11:54,720 --> 00:12:04,280 What do you want to tell her? That it's OK, we all have rainy 154 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:14,560 days and that I am here to listen and to be her support. 155 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:30,680 And I've got hugs for days. Take a deep breath in, let it 156 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:35,920 out. I really want you to visualize 157 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,920 you and her together. You now the younger version of 158 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,320 you. This imagine you guys hugging, 159 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:57,920 embracing, feeling the love and support and then the rain stops, 160 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,640 the clouds part, the sun is shining. 161 00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:09,520 You don't have to be scared anymore because you have each 162 00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,760 other. You guys got each other? 163 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:21,880 Take a deep breath in. Let it out. 164 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,680 Whenever you're ready, you can open your eyes. 165 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:39,080 Bless you. How was that? 166 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:46,720 That feels much lighter, much lighter, feels orange in my 167 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,440 chest now instead of black and dark and stormy. 168 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:56,320 But I mean, I physically smiled when you had me walk into that 169 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,920 visualization and just kind of being there with her. 170 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:03,280 And I think it also felt good for this version of me to be 171 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:08,600 there with her and kind of being comforted at comforted, sorry, 172 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:14,040 comforted in knowing that I'm not alone. 173 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:24,080 And also grateful that I have this opportunity to go back and 174 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,920 let these past versions of myself know that that we made 175 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,360 it, that we're going to be all right. 176 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,880 Bless you. Makes me feel a little less 177 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,160 alone on this growth journey as well as like, OK, I'm bringing 178 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:42,480 along all of these other versions of me that felt unloved 179 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:46,120 and unworthy and not as good as everyone else. 180 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,280 As I'm stepping into this version of myself that knows 181 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,720 that that I am just as good as everyone else and I have my own 182 00:14:53,720 --> 00:15:00,200 strengths and my own things that make me amazing, which is still 183 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,920 a little hard to say. I had to hesitate before it came 184 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:06,440 out. So it's it's a process, but I 185 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:13,120 feel hopeful in knowing that I can kind of bring some peace to 186 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:16,920 former versions of myself, to have more peace as I'm stepping 187 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:23,240 into my future self. Why are you so amazing? 188 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:38,040 I always just default to what everyone else says about me, but 189 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:48,920 I suppose when I think of myself and what I think is amazing, I 190 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:53,840 can cook decently, I can pick edible things. 191 00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:03,960 When I allow myself to be, I can be the life of the party and I 192 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,880 can also be a shoulder to cry on. 193 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,760 So tying that into a beautiful knot, I love that I am 194 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:19,480 multifaceted and I am amazing because I'm multifaceted and I 195 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:25,400 can do and be who and what serves me in the moment. 196 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,080 And I suppose not everybody can do that. 197 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,600 So that, I think, helps me stand out and helps me feel and 198 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:39,040 recognize my amazingness. So good. 199 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,520 And then why is that like so impactful? 200 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:48,120 For me, it's impactful because I've spent 32 years of living 201 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,840 believing that to not be true and believing that I was always 202 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:57,400 missing something or I needed to work harder, that I needed to 203 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:00,920 earn worthiness and love from other people. 204 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:06,720 And hearing myself say out loud that I am amazing and that, and 205 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,880 taking a moment to not just regurgitate what other people 206 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,800 have said to me that I've just kind of taken on. 207 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,400 Even if it's true, it's still someone else's opinion, someone 208 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,720 else's thought. So for me, it feels impactful 209 00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:25,040 because it's something I created on my own. 210 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,680 It's something I believe about myself on my own. 211 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,680 And having that mindset's really going to open the doors that 212 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,400 I've been waiting to open for a long time. 213 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:40,560 I love. That I kind of feel like talk to 214 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,840 your past self. I kind of want to talk to your 215 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,960 future self if that's OK. Yeah, we can do that. 216 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:50,840 I'm sure she's willing. All right, close your eyes, put 217 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:55,080 your hands on your heart. Take a deep breath in. 218 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:05,680 Let it out. Thinking of Courtney 10 years 219 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:11,080 from now, what does she tell you about this moment? 220 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:15,120 How did you go through the challenges? 221 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,240 How were you able to trust yourself? 222 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:19,760 How were you able to build the life of your dream? 223 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:38,280 He is telling me that she smiles a lot and that she leads with 224 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:43,680 joy. And I learned recently from 225 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:49,680 Joyce Meyer that Joy is the is being content in the trust of 226 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,720 the process. And that's what my higher self 227 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,880 did. She just LED with joy, LED with 228 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:01,360 belief and trust that everything was working out for her good. 229 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:06,200 And it did. She got here by simply trusting 230 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:12,880 and choosing joy. How can you choose joy more? 231 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:17,960 By not doing everything I said at the beginning of this phone 232 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:25,280 call. By choosing to just trust the 233 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:30,280 positive side of things instead of leaning into the worst case 234 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,960 scenario and letting that be my guiding light. 235 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,720 Choosing to follow the flow instead of the friction. 236 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:59,630 The other word of advice. To breathe and to find space. 237 00:20:00,630 --> 00:20:04,390 Find mental space. Find physical space outside in 238 00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:08,440 nature. And love and relationships to 239 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:14,080 find the freedom to exist in the space. 240 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:24,120 Take a deep breath in, get it out. 241 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:33,560 Want you to visualize your future version, you in 10 years 242 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,560 in your current self, hugging each other and bracing each 243 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,320 other. She's telling you you did it, 244 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,520 you made it. I'm so proud of you. 245 00:20:52,600 --> 00:21:02,120 Everything is going to be fine. Take a deep breath in and let it 246 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:07,280 out. Take another deep breath in. 247 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:16,640 Let out whenever you're ready. You can open your eyes that. 248 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,440 Was fun. How was that experience told me 249 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:29,760 everything. It was interesting because I 250 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,800 imagine her being larger than me, even though I'm not going to 251 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:38,040 grow in the next 10 years. But maybe it's just maybe she 252 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:41,880 wears high heels and that's why she was standing taller than me. 253 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:47,880 And she just had this big, beautiful, effervescent smile. 254 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:53,200 And this just like calmness to her, like almost like talking to 255 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:59,400 my mom. Yeah. 256 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,920 It was just, there's just a lot of peace there. 257 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:09,560 Just a lot of tranquility, a lot of like an innate confidence. 258 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:15,720 Not like a not when you think of confidence of like a Sasha 259 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,760 Fierce Beyoncé, but just like someone that like she just was 260 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:24,080 so sure of herself and just so like rooted and grounded and 261 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,560 also light and air, you know, I don't know how to do. 262 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:34,720 She's feels so complex to this version of me. 263 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:40,560 But she was very just calm and reassuring and confident and 264 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,920 motherly, maternal maybe I want to say. 265 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,800 And I guess. Yeah, just reassuring and that 266 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,840 it's going to be OK. You're going to get here. 267 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,760 You've got this. Relax. 268 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,600 I'm relaxed, you know it's happening, it's coming. 269 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,400 Just find the space, find the peace, find your joy so you can 270 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,800 continue to get to get here, to get here 10 years from now. 271 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,000 Yeah, and I love that quote that you said. 272 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:12,280 Like, what was joy is like enjoying the process of the 273 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:13,240 journey. What was it? 274 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,160 I got to find it because I don't want to misquote her because, 275 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,520 you know, Joyce Meyer's queen and I love her. 276 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,880 Oh, of course I didn't save it, sorry. 277 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,320 We can keep talking while I'm searching. 278 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:33,520 I love that because it's all about the journey, because 279 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:40,240 realistically 1% of 1% of like life is achieving our goal. 280 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:45,400 Like the moment we achieve our goal, that's a moment in time. 281 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:51,240 It's not a day, an hour. Like it's like, Oh my God, we 282 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,920 achieved it. The excitement's there and then 283 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:58,840 it dissipates. 89% of life is the journey. 284 00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,760 And so why not choose to enjoy the journey? 285 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:09,240 You know, why not choose to find the joy in the process rather 286 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,080 than again focusing on the outcome? 287 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,720 Because the outcome will be what it will be, and it will finish 288 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,280 when it gets finished. And so until then, you know, how 289 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,520 can you find joy? It's like thinking about like 290 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,320 Bill Gates, like I'm sure in the process of building his legacy, 291 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:26,760 it had wasn't always easy, but he still found the compelling 292 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,840 reasons why he found the desire. He found the joy so he could 293 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,480 make his legacy. So I found it. 294 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:37,640 So the truth is, joy is a major part of God's plan for us. 295 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:40,640 Unlike happiness and emotion that can disappear as quickly as 296 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,720 it comes, joy is a choice. The joy of the Lord is much 297 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,520 greater than simply feeling happy. 298 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:49,960 It brings peace and contentment to your soul even when your 299 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:54,480 circumstances are difficult. So that's what I feel like joy 300 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,920 is, right is, is having that peace and contentment in your 301 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:02,480 soul, even when things don't feel joyful. 302 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,480 And it's it's a step up from happiness, right? 303 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,240 You're so happy, but it's a step up of that. 304 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,240 Happiness Plus, I guess is what joy is for me. 305 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,760 Happiness plus. No subscription needed. 306 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:21,120 Yes, no subscription needed. Unlimited supply so free. 307 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:28,520 That's OK, But yeah, right. If 99% of life is quote UN 308 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,760 quote, the struggle, the journey, the messiness, the 309 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:36,480 hardness, let's learn to love it and have joy in it. 310 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,720 Because imagine hating 99% of your life because you're not. 311 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:46,160 Been there, wasn't a good time and. 312 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,520 I think it's a great reminder too, to have like gratitude of 313 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,120 like, even though we're not there yet when we think of like, 314 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:59,080 like a milestone chart, like we still have achieved so much. 315 00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:03,640 There is a time where you wish that you had kids and that you 316 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,640 had a job and you like had a family and you're here now like 317 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,920 you are currently living one of your prayers and we forget them. 318 00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,040 Like you already read, you're already here. 319 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:18,320 Yeah, that's AI Love that. You're like, what did you just 320 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,560 say? Oh, no, you're living one of 321 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,360 your prayers. Or it was something like that. 322 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,520 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love. 323 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,040 That one of your prayers? Yeah, Yeah. 324 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,600 'Cause there was a point in time where it's like, I can't wait to 325 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,400 have a family. I can't wait to have kids and 326 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,640 you know, and here I am. So why wouldn't I be kind of 327 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,240 soaking this up, if you will, because then the time will come. 328 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,200 I guess the thought now is I can't wait for them to leave and 329 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,200 go to college. I can have my space from them, 330 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:46,480 even though that's not true, but you know what I mean? 331 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:51,520 Like it just different prayers for different seasons and I'm in 332 00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:54,520 this one that I've been waiting for and hoping for for so long. 333 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,360 So why would I try to self sabotage it? 334 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,480 Why wouldn't I just enjoy it for what it is? 335 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,880 Yeah, yeah. My coach told me the other day, 336 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:07,280 like, what a great problem to have. 337 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:12,560 The problems that we have are actually like a blessing. 338 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:17,560 For example, I was complaining 'cause the podcast has been on 339 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:21,280 the top charts and it's like slowly like lower, good going 340 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,280 lower and lower on the charts. And I was like, Oh my goodness, 341 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,040 like this is terrible. Duh, duh, duh. 342 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,840 Like all this stuff down. Like maybe no one likes me. 343 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,640 Like all the things. And she's like, what are like, 344 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:35,680 great problem to have that you're even like falling off the 345 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:37,480 top chart. Do you know how many people wish 346 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,280 they could even? Be on, be on the top chart. 347 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,320 Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. 348 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:48,920 You're right, even like I was cleaning up like New Year's Eve 349 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:52,120 because I wanted to come in like the new Year with a clean house. 350 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,600 The toilets I'm like, I have toilets to clean at. 351 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,920 Least I have this to clean. Yeah, but at least. 352 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,120 Have a house angry gratitude cleaning. 353 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,320 I'm into that. I hate this stupid toilet, but 354 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:11,840 at least I have a toilet to clean. 355 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,400 It's not an outhouse you're not peeing in a hole in the 356 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,080 backyard. I mean, it could be worse. 357 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,160 It's. Not like a porta potty, yeah. 358 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:26,720 Yeah, it could be worse. But also, you know, I think 359 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,600 that's something else that you've taught me of starting 360 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:32,720 with gratitude is is always a good way to work on your 361 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,880 mindset, right. When I listen to your podcast 362 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:39,160 about the five questions you should ask yourself before the 363 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:42,000 end of the year. Aw, scoot, what? 364 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,680 Did I just lose my train of thought? 365 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,640 Oh, you were saying that it's a good idea to start with 366 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,480 gratitude because when you're in that mindset and then you start 367 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:55,600 doing the rest of the list, you're going from this place of 368 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,200 gratitude and happiness and peace versus let me look at all 369 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:02,520 the stuff that sucked this year and then go into the good stuff 370 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,840 like it's, there's something about that starting your brain 371 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,400 with, yes, good things happened. Now we can go from there and 372 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,600 continue to process. So I like that even on a daily 373 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,320 of just starting with gratitude to get through my day a little 374 00:29:17,320 --> 00:29:20,360 bit easier, maybe because I started with a place of peace 375 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,040 and happiness. I like, I like that. 376 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,480 I'm gonna try that. And then also I'll send you the 377 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:29,280 podcast episode. But like my morning routine, the 378 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,640 four questions. The very first question is like, 379 00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,720 what are my blessings, wins and celebrations? 380 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:39,680 I make a list of 10 things and the time like I get to 7, I'm 381 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,040 like, I don't know if I can get to 10, but I always force myself 382 00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:47,520 to get to 10 because there's goals and blessings in my life. 383 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,960 They're there. I just got to search for them. 384 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,280 And when celebrations, blessings, what's working? 385 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,000 Pretty much. And then my second question is 386 00:29:57,000 --> 00:30:00,200 what are three things that need to get done today? 387 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:04,720 Like today, why? I need to get them done to 388 00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,920 create a compelling reason why for me. 389 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,800 And then when and where am I going to do these things? 390 00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:16,200 Because I just say I'm going to do a podcast episode today, but 391 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,640 like, when am I going to record it? 392 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,680 Like when is this actually going to happen? 393 00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,600 Yeah, I like that, which goes along with scheduling your weeks 394 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,600 out or your days and things of that nature of it's on the 395 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,520 calendar. So you're less likely to not do 396 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,920 it if it's on the. I mean, that's what I've noticed 397 00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,840 in my experience is I'm more likely to do it when I get that 398 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:39,000 little ping on my phone of hey, it's eleven time to, you know, 399 00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,880 throw the load of wash in or whatever it might be. 400 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,360 I'm way more likely to do it when I have those reminders and 401 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,120 when I don't. So yeah, I like that. 402 00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:46,720 I like that. Please send me the episode. 403 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:48,520 Yes, I will. I will. 404 00:30:49,200 --> 00:30:55,080 Anything else I can help you? With, I don't think so. 405 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:59,040 I'm excited to see where this momentum takes me. 406 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,480 You know, if I've taken some time today with my inner child, 407 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,840 taking some time with my future self, let's see what present 408 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:09,280 self is going to do with this this momentum and get some shit 409 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,840 done. Yes, yes. 410 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,760 And you are capable. You're physically well able to 411 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:19,760 do all the things and your brain will tell you it's your fault. 412 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:21,400 I'm not capable, I can't handle it. 413 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,520 But going back to your soul, it's fine. 414 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,360 It's already been handled. It's OK. 415 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:32,360 To trust the process, yes, it's OK to relax. 416 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,960 I think that's yeah, I might need to write that on the wall 417 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,120 going up and down my stairs so I have that physical reminder. 418 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,240 I think that's actually a really good idea I'll do that. 419 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,840 I. Love it. 420 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,040 OK, when do you want to meet next? 421 00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:56,960 If you're listening and thinking I want more, I need this help, I 422 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,240 need this type of support, I can help you. 423 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:05,960 This is what we do inside of becoming her every single week. 424 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:10,080 Me and you, working on your confidence, working on yourself, 425 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:14,880 esteem, handling tough emotions, talking to your past self, 426 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,440 getting wisdom from your future self. 427 00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:21,840 We cover so many things. Every week you and I get on a 428 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:26,240 call together. We slow things down, we work 429 00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:31,440 through what's happening for you in real time, and we process 430 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,560 emotions as they come up. Not months later. 431 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:38,440 Not after you've been feeling heavy for months. 432 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:42,160 After you've already spiraled down into a rabbit hole. 433 00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:48,360 No, we address it right away. And that consistency is what 434 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:53,360 creates real, lasting change. You also get daily 435 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,400 accountability because transformation doesn't just 436 00:32:56,400 --> 00:33:00,120 happen once a week. It happens in the in between 437 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,120 moments. You're not doing this alone. 438 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:07,080 You're supported as life is like actually happening around you. 439 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:12,240 You also get supported through monthly group calls when you're 440 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,800 in a room with women who are doing this work right beside 441 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:23,480 you, the women who get it, who are growing and who remind you 442 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,320 that you're not behind or broken. 443 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,200 And that kind of support changes everything. 444 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:37,200 And you get access to a private podcast where there's on demand 445 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:41,080 coaching, guidance, and emotional processing work that 446 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,000 you can come back to anytime you need it. 447 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,000 Support in your ears, in your body, in your life. 448 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:53,440 It's waiting for you. Becoming her is high touch, 449 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:56,720 personalized, and very, very intentional. 450 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,560 It's not for everyone. It's for the woman who is 451 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,880 suffering with a lot of self doubt right now. 452 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:09,040 She doesn't feel comfortable in her body and it kind of feels 453 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,600 like being overwhelmed and anxious is now her natural 454 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:17,000 state. If this is you, apply to 455 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,880 Becoming Her applications close February 8th and you can apply 456 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:26,239 with the link in the show notes. I love you so much, have a good 457 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:27,920 day. Bye. 458 00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:33,159 Thank you so much for listening to the Mindset Babe podcast. 459 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:37,040 If you are looking to get more confidence and take action 460 00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:41,639 towards your dreams, then I want to invite you to work with me. 461 00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,040 Ioffer private one-on-one mentorship. 462 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,120 This mentorship will teach you everything about goal setting, 463 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:51,280 time management, and manifestation so you can 464 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,560 transform your mindset. Get the tools. 465 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:56,960 Become the badass you were meant to be. 466 00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,920 Register with the link and the show notes.