Welcome to the Mindset Bay podcast.
If you want more confidence and motivation then you're in the
right place every week at your dose of self development advice
and strategies. I'm your host Perry Richardson,
life coach, N OP practitioner, motivational speaker and mental
health advocate. My mission is help you find more
happiness and take more action in your life.
Now let's begin. Hello, hello, hello babe.
Welcome to the Mindset Babe podcast.
In today's episode I want to talk about the biggest
misconception about self love. Now listen, this episode might
be a little triggering but it needs to be said.
So buckle up. I have a lot to say and it may
be hard to hear, but I need to say it to you with so much love
because this is a reminder of what self Love Actually looks
like. Also, I have a very special
announcement I'm going to announce at the end of the
episode. I'm so excited.
I've been working on this for weeks and I can't wait to tell
you at the end of the episode. So if you've been comparing
yourself to others, if you struggle with your body, if you
lack confidence in your body image, if you're always so hard
on yourself, then stay to the end because I created a special
free gift for you. But before we dive in, if you've
been enjoying the Mindset Babe podcast, make sure you leave a
five star review. It helps more women find the
podcast for them to be able to have the opportunity to feel
good, be positive and make change in their life.
I go through the reviews. I read them almost every single
day. They mean so much to me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has left a
review. And if you haven't, girl, what
you doing? Leave a five star review today.
All right, let's get into the episode.
This is actually inspired by one of my students inside becoming
her. Becoming her is my personalized
one-on-one coaching program where my clients get weekly
coaching and daily support. And it's really personalized and
customized based on what's happening in their lives every
single day. And something you should know
about me is when you work with me, I will constantly be
thinking about you. I'll be thinking about you in
the shower, while I'm driving, while I'm walking.
And I'm always asking the question, how can I solve their
problems? And for the past week or so,
I've been having this particular conversations and one of my
students was telling me about how she's, it's been struggling
after work, how she works all day, how she's tired, how she's
exhausted and how there's a million things that she needs to
do when she gets home. And so all week I've been
thinking about her problem. And so not only in becoming her,
you get personalized coaching, you also get personalized
podcast episodes. So you know who you are, and
this episode is for you. So I was texting with one of my
students, 'cause you get daily support, you get my personal
number. And she was saying how when she
gets home from work, there's so many things she needs to do, but
she's just not doing them. And one of the hardest things
for her is to make dinner after work.
But instead of making dinner, she'll end up just like,
snacking all day. Maybe she'll get some fast food
or just grab whatever is easiest.
And she told me, Perry, I know what works.
She said when she meals preps on Sundays, her entire week was so
much easier. She ate better.
She felt better. She had less stress.
Everything improved. But lately, on Sundays, she
would rather rest. Now, listen very closely.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with rest.
I want you to hear me please. Rest, take breaks, get 8 hours
of sleep, stop working through your lunch break, relax, watch a
movie, take a nap. I am not anti rest.
However I think we have accidentally created a huge
misconception about self love. That self love equals rest.
That self love means bubble baths and face masks and
sleeping in and scrolling and cancelling plans.
And yes, sometimes those things are self love.
But a lot of you guys are resting a little too much,
spending too much time taking a break, spending too much time
watching TV, spending too much time on your phone.
I had another client tell me that she spends so much time on
Instagram and she knows that she shouldn't.
But every single day, it's like a habit.
She'll doom scroll for hours. And the way you spend your time
is the way you spend your life. I'm going to say that again.
Write it down. The way you spend your time is
the way you spend your life. So how are you spending your
time? Are you spending your time
relaxing and resting and just being on the screens all day?
Like have you ever had been on the couch with your laptop and
your phone and you're watching TV?
He's got all the screens. Are you spending your time just
consuming all the things, the TV, the food, the alcohol, the
snacks? Or are you spending your time
creating, creating opportunities, creating
memories, miracles, creating things that are actually going
to elevate and enhance the self love that you have with
yourself? And so the biggest misconception
to self love is self love is just rest.
And yes, rest is necessary, but spending every single day
resting is not necessary. What self love truly is.
Self love is taking action towards your dreams.
That is a real act of self love. Taking action towards better
health is an act of self love. Going to the gym is an act of
self love after work instead of sitting on the couch and
watching TV. Yes, I said it.
Taking action towards your finances is self love.
Not spending money on lunch when you know you brought food.
Your lunch bag is in the fridge. Do not buy food today.
Taking action towards your goals.
Starting the podcast is an act of self love, not distracting
yourself with hours and hours of Instagram content.
When I my most productive self, I love myself.
I really feel myself and I'm interested for you.
I want you to imagine your most productive self.
She's motivated, she's consistent, you're getting
things done. You just feel like such a badass
for completely just doing the day, right?
You did everything you wanted to do.
Like I want you to imagine your most productive self and how do
you feel about her? How do you feel about yourself
when you're productive? Getting things done off your To
Do List, actually taking action towards your goals.
How does that feel? It feels so good versus I want
you to imagine yourself when you're just resting, resting and
resting. When you're just watching TV all
day, scrolling on your phone. Like you're not even really
paying attention to the episode 'cause you have the phone in
your face and you've just watched TV all day and you
avoided the things on your To Do List.
How do you feel after a day of just sitting on the couch
avoiding the things that you need to do?
For me, it doesn't feel good. My best self is my most
productive, consistent, taking action self.
That's when I love myself the most.
I love that version of me. I love when I get it done.
The grind, the grit, that's self love.
Self love is feeling a little uncomfortable.
Self love is determination. Self love is discipline.
Self love is starting the podcast, going on the walk,
going to therapy, setting boundaries, keeping promises to
yourself. And when my students said on
Sundays she's just resting all day and not meal prepping.
I'm like, girl, how much time do you need to rest?
You had a whole like 24 hours. Like what is happening?
Like you're going to tell me you sat on the couch and did nothing
for 10/12 hours. What is happening?
You had enough time to do it, you just chose not to do it.
And cooking dinner isn't even that hard.
You could do something so easy, so simple.
And I told her and I was like, if you wanted to sit on the
couch and watch TV all day, I get it.
But you could have done like those one sheet pan recipes and
had that in the oven for an hour and a half.
You could've watched a whole TV show and your dinner would've
been done and prepped for the whole week.
How much time do you need to rest to recover?
And I want to offer to you, you really don't need that much
time. You don't even need a full 24
hours. You don't need anything more
than 24 hours. And I know this because I work
9:00 to 5:00, actually eight to five.
I'm there 9 hours every single day.
I have my corporate job. I post 2 podcast episodes a
week. I have my one-on-one students in
becoming her. I post on Instagram.
I am married. I have all my family that lives
in Las Vegas with me. I'm busy and also I don't need
that much time to rest. And I think the biggest thing,
and I teach this in becoming her is you need to learn how to
schedule for appropriate rest because a lot of you guys rest
and it's not resting because you feel guilty for resting because
you know you should be doing something.
So the rest isn't even rest, it's just more mental energy
being leaked out. And I teach you how to stop that
in Becoming her. It's one of the courses in there
how to get things done. So I know it's possible to get
things done and rest. Like last week Saturday, I ended
up cleaning the kitchen and the bathrooms.
I scheduled it for like an hour and a half.
I did an hour and a half cleaning session.
I saw two clients and then I went to date night.
I saw a stand up comedian, Dave Attell.
If you know who he is, he has a couple of stand ups on Netflix.
He's so good and I didn't need all day to lay around to recover
from my week to go out that night.
No, I was productive and I still had so much time.
Like there were times I was lazy on the couch, on my phone not
doing anything and also I still got shit done.
I think that's my biggest message is there is A and you
can rest and do the food prep. You can rest and work on your
dreams and goals, get the clients, record the podcast.
You can rest and also go out with your friends, have an
amazing date night. You don't need to rest all day.
You really don't. And I know that might sound
super triggering and I'm so sorry if it does.
But as your big sister, I have to tell you probably 1 of the
reasons why you feel behind is because you're resting too much.
I'll say it again, one of the reasons why you feel behind is
probably because you're resting too much.
And I'll say it again, one of the reasons why you feel behind
is because you're resting too much on your phone, on the
couch, literally watching the time go by, having opportunities
fly right past you. The opportunities to actually
change your life and for you to become her happen in the moments
when you over rest. And I want to give you this
example. So imagine you have a plant and
every single day you water it, you make sure it gets at
sunlight, you protect it, you take care of it, you help it
grow. That's love.
Now imagine you stopped watering it because you didn't feel like
it. You stopped moving it into the
sun because it felt inconvenient.
You stopped taking care of it because it was easier to scroll
on Instagram instead. Would that be love?
No, that's neglect. And I think some of us are doing
the same thing to ourselves. We are starving our confidence,
starving our goals, starving our dreams, starving the future
version of ourselves, and then wondering why nothing is
growing. Self love is about taking care
of ourselves, nourishing ourselves, replenishing
ourselves. That's a true act of self love.
Over the past couple of months I have been thinking how I can
support you and really hope you love yourself more every single
day. I have women tell me how they
lack confidence, how they don't feel good enough and how they
don't like their bodies, like they feel uncomfortable in their
skin. So I'm so excited to announce 30
Days to Self Love. This is a free challenge. 30
days of self love. Every single day for 30 days,
I'm going to be dropping 5 minute daily audios to help
increase your body image, your confidence, and yourself esteem.
And this is what I know. One podcast episode can inspire
you, but 30 days can change you. I want you to imagine spending
the next 30 days intentionally working on the most important
relationship you have yourself. For the next 30 days, I'm gonna
help guide you to truly rebuild that relationship, re heal that
relationship. We're going to be talking about
so many things in this challenge so you're able to truly love
yourself. I'm going to be talking about
boundaries, people pleasing compare and despair, your body
image and negative thinking that is holding you back from you
truly loving yourself. This challenge is completely
free. We start July 1st.
From July 1st to July 30th, every single day I'm going to be
dropping daily audios to help you build confidence, create
self worth, and overcome negative self talk.
This challenge is for the woman who beats herself up for the
smallest mistakes. It's for the woman who cares too
much about what other people think.
It's for the woman who criticizes how her body looks
every single moment of the day. And it's for the woman who is
consistently second guessing herself, but most importantly is
for the woman who knows that she could love herself more, respect
herself more and care for herself more.
Join me for the free challenge 30 days of self love.
So excited to be doing this. You're going to get daily audio
lessons and community access. I'm so excited for this.
You can go ahead. You can register at
www.themindsetbabe.com/self. Love again.
That website is WWW dot themindsetbabe.com/self love.
I will also have that link in the description box.
It's 100% free. I would love to support you in
July, helping you increase yourself worth, your body image
and your confidence. I will see you inside.
I love you so much and I'll see you in the next episode.
Bye, Thank you so much for listening to the Mindset Babe
podcast. If you are looking to get more
confidence and take action towards your dreams, then I want
to invite you to work with me Ioffer private one-on-one
mentorship. This mentorship will teach you
everything about goal setting, time management and
manifestation so you can transform your mindset.
Get the tools to become the badass you were meant to be.
Register with the link in the show notes.