Welcome to the Mindset Bay podcast.
If you want more confidence and motivation, then you're in the
right place. Every week at.
Your dose. Of self development.
Advice and strategies. I'm your host, Perry Richardson.
Life Coach. N OP practitioner, motivational
speaker and mental health advocate.
My mission is help you find more happiness and take more action
in your life. Now let's begin.
Hello. Hello, hello, babe.
Welcome to the Mindset Babe podcast.
In today's episode, I want to talk about three things blocking
you from a positive mindset. This is a podcast straight from
my own personal experience. I was in the middle of doing
something and I was like, Oh my goodness, this is blocking me
from having a positive mindset. This is blocking me from just
getting this thing done and off my To Do List.
So I'm so excited for today's podcast episode.
Before we get into it, did you know I'm hosting A giveaway?
I'm giving away a $200.00 gift card to Sephora.
Yes, $200 worth of makeup goodies, whatever you want to
buy. It's a gift card so you can
literally get whatever you want. I wanted to host a giveaway
because we are on the road to 300, 300 podcast episodes and I
wanted to celebrate this huge milestone.
I wanted to celebrate with you. So if you leave a five star
review on Apple podcast or Spotify, if you do both, you get
double entries. Once you leave a five star
review, you're going to screenshot that review.
Once you screenshot that review, you're going to e-mail the
review to the perryrichardson@gmail.com.
That's my personal e-mail the THE Perry Perry
richardsonrichardson@gmail.com to be entered into the $200.00
gift card to Sephora. Again, leave a five star review.
Apple podcast, Spotify, you can do both for double entries.
Screenshot that review and then you're going to e-mail that
review to me because I only see the reviews in my country so I
want to make sure that everyone's able to participate
and sometimes like the usernames, it's like you know,
it's something silly so I want to make sure that it's you and
you're able to claim the giveaway prize if you win.
The last day to enter the giveaway is April 26th of 2020
sixth, and I'm going to announce the winner on our 300th episode
April 28th. So if this podcast has inspired
you, if this podcast has impacted you, if you love make
up, this is your time, this is your chance.
I'm giving away a $200.00 gift card.
All you have to do is leave a five star review and send that
review to me. All right, let's talk about your
mindset. Let's get into this episode.
OK so a couple weeks ago I was in my office and I was writing
emails and it was just taking me a really long time.
I was just staring at the screen.
I wasn't creative and I was just like trying to find like the
right words to say. Like I was just trying to make
the e-mail polished and perfect and just all put together.
And me trying to make this e-mail perfect and all put
together. I started doubting myself.
I was like I don't know what I'm doing.
This sounds stupid. Like my mindset slowly started
turning into a negative overthinking spiral of just how
this is terrible when I don't have time.
I don't know what I'm saying. It's like all the negative self
doubt thoughts. And then it made me realize the
first thing that is blocking you from a positive mindset is
perfectionism. When I was writing the emails
when I decided to stop being perfect and stop trying to put
this e-mail in. I don't even know some perfect
formula. When I just allowed myself to
just get the words out of my mouth, everything started to
flow. Everything just started to come
out of my mouth and I was able to get it done.
And when I was trying to put it in a perfect formula, it just
created stress, overwhelm, and again, just like so much self
doubt for me. And I even went on ChatGPT to
like help me craft some emails And literally just reading those
emails gave me more confusion and overwhelm.
And the only reason why I even went to ChatGPT is because I
couldn't trust my own answers because my own answers weren't
good enough. So I had to look outside of
myself. And so when you're trying to be
perfect, not only does it create a negative mindset, creates
negative emotions, it has you look outside of yourself for the
answers, which then creates like distrust within yourself.
You don't trust yourself and self trust is the number one
thing you need for self love. Just like a romantic
relationship, the biggest thing is trust.
Once that trust is broken, the relationship will never be the
same. And my main mission for my work
in this podcast is to help you love yourself.
And so you need to build self trust within yourself.
How do you know your imperfectionism?
I wrote only two things, but there's probably a million.
And we're not being perfect. We're just getting it done.
Number one, you have pressure. Like you feel pressure to say
the right thing or do the right thing.
And then I also wrote down all or nothing.
It's either perfect, amazing, awesome, or it's terrible,
shitty, and not good enough. Versus there is a middle ground.
There's always things that are working and there's always
things that are not working all of the same time.
Two things can be true at the same time.
I love doing this with my students.
Like currently it's Monday April 6, which is my one year
anniversary guys been married for one year been together for
8. Like today's the actual day that
we were on our first date eight years ago.
Then we got married last year on today's date.
But anywho, today is Monday, April 6th at six O 5 in the
morning and also it's Monday, April 6th at 9:00 in the morning
if you live on like the Eastern Time zone.
But also it's probably, I don't even know, 2 in the morning.
The Tuesday in Japan. I'm not 100% sure about that
one. I just made that up.
But even something so basic, like with numbers, something
that is just so tangible. There's different times at all
different times, right? It's 6:00 AM Pacific, it's 7:00
AM mountain, it's 8:00 PM Central, and it's 9 Eastern Time
all at the same time. Multile things can be true at
the same time, and when you're trying to be perfect, that's not
an option. It's either right or it's either
wrong. So instead of being perfect,
allow yourself to be you. Get the first draft out of your
mouth, write it down, whatever it is.
For me, it was e-mail. Sometimes with this podcast,
like I just got to get the words out of my mouth to let it flow.
It does not have to be perfect the first time or the second or
the 5th or even the 10th time. The most important thing is that
you do it, that you do it, OK, so that's the first thing.
Blocking you from a positive mindset is perfectionism.
Trying to be perfect when there's no such thing as
perfection #2 which they're kind of hand in hand together is
compare and despair, which is using other people's success
against yourself. My coach told me something so
powerful last week. This is what she said when it
comes to comparison. When you focus on other people's
results, you lose the opportunity to create your own.
When you focus on other people's results, you lose the
opportunity to create your own. When you're focused on someone
else's story, you lose the opportunity to write your own.
When you're focused on someone else's life, you cannot create
your life. And when my coach said that to
me, literally, I've never had like a profound breakthrough
like that in such a long time. I've just been in the game with
personal development. There's not too many things that
like what like really just like shake my core and give me a
whole new reality of how I should look at my life.
When you look at someone else's results, when you're looking at
their story, when you're looking at their life, you lose
opportunity to create your own. It's literally so beautiful.
It could be a tattoo, to be honest.
All right, so how do you know if you're doing this?
Number one, you feel like you're behind.
The only reason you feel like you're behind is because you're
looking at someone else's life and you feel like you're behind
compared to their life, right? That's the only reason you feel
behind #2 you don't feel good enough.
The only reason you don't feel good enough is because you're
looking at someone else's life, comparing and despairing of
thinking this is what a good enough good enough life looks
like, and my life is not good enough.
You're too much of something. You're too fat, you're too
skinny, you're too shy, you're too unfashionable.
Whatever it is, you're too much or not enough of something.
Another reason how you know you're in compare and despair is
I should, I should be doing this.
Like for me, it's like I should be posting on Instagram.
I should be starting on YouTube, whatever it is, I should have a
great relationship with my family.
Whatever it is I should, I should, I should, you know
you're living in compare and despair because how do you even
know that you should be doing it is because right?
You're looking at someone else's results to determine your
results, which is never a good thing to do.
Something I've been doing recently is a gratitude
practice, but I've been saying I have the privilege or I'm
privileged. For example, what a privilege it
is that I get to talk to you today.
What a privilege it is that I have hot water.
What a privilege it is that I get to drive to my corporate job
today. What a privilege it is that I'm
able to manage my time, that I'm able to build a business and
also work my corporate job. What a privilege it is that I
get to have yummy food. What a privilege it is that I'm
currently just laying in my bed. I have a five star podcast and I
just do it in my bed. What a privilege.
So what helps me stop comparing and despairing because there's
so much, right? Social media has us compare all
day long. I always have to stop and I have
to look at my current miracles. I have to look at the privileges
that I currently have because our brain, right, will trick us
when we're in compare and despair will turn a good thing
into a bad thing. Versus like how we step into
that positive mindset is looking at the blessings, the miracles,
the privileges, all that we have.
That's what we need to focus, focus on.
All right. And then the very last thing I
want to talk about, the last thing that is blocking you from
a positive mindset, which also is a perfect segue, looking at
what's not working. How do you know this is you?
You're thinking about the things you didn't get done versus the
thing you did get done. So many of my students will tell
me they'll get on the call and they're like, yeah, like, this
week was OK. Like, I worked out three times
and I drank all my water and like, I actually, like, cleaned
out, I don't know, the closet. And I'm like, wait, what?
Like you actually did like, so, so much.
Like what was actually on your To Do List?
And they tell me like, oh, actually there's only two things
I didn't do on my To Do List. I actually did everything else.
And it's just so interesting how our brain focuses on the lack #2
you look out how far you are versus looking at how far you've
come. Like you're looking at the
distance in front of you instead of behind you.
It makes me think of like hiking, like if you just look up
the mountain the whole time, like it's going to be like
draining and it's going to be a lot of work.
And you're going to be like, Oh my goodness, it's so hot.
And it's just going to be not as an amazing experience compared
if you take a moment and stop, turn around, look how far you've
come, refresh yourself, get some water, maybe have a little
snack, sit down, whatever it is. When you take a moment to
appreciate the view, that's when it feels so good.
And that's when like the hard work, that workout is so
rewarding. And the last thing, like, how do
you know you're looking at what's not working is you're
looking at what you don't like versus what you want.
When I ask my students what they want, most of the time they tell
me what they don't want. I don't want to have negative
thoughts. I don't want to feel overwhelm.
I don't want to be stressed. I don't want to have this
anxiety anymore. I don't want to doubt myself any
longer. Instead, I want a positive
mindset. I want to feel calm and
grounded. I want to feel confident.
I want to feel powerful. I want to feel free.
And I really want you, like my homework for you for this
episode is to talk about all the things like write it down, talk
about the things what you don't want versus what you do want.
Just shifting that will put you in a positive mindset.
When you're looking at what I want, literally like the same
thought, like I don't want negative thoughts versus I want
positive thoughts is a completely different energy
vibration. It switches your mindset.
It helps you feel good when you say I want versus I do not want.
So crazy. Like we're just removing the
word like don't. And it completely changes your
experience of the situation and the mindset that you hold.
And your mindset is the key to the life that you desire.
That's what I have for you in today's podcast episode.
Just a little recap for you, 3 things blocking you from a
positive mindset #1 perfectionism.
Stop being perfect because perfect doesn't even exist.
And just be you. Could you just be you?
Can we just like try that on for a little bit because you being
perfect isn't working. OK, The second thing blocking
you from a positive mindset is compare and despair.
Again, this is so good. Write it down.
When you focus on someone else's results, you lose the
opportunity to create your own. When you focus on someone else's
story, you lose the opportunity to write your own in.
The very last thing blocking you from a positive mindset is
focusing on what's not working, focusing on the negativity,
focusing on all the things you haven't done, all the things you
haven't accomplished, and all the things that you still have
to do. So make sure you focus on the
things that you want to. Make sure you focus on the
things that you have achieved. Look at the blessings, look at
the celebrations. Look at the privileges you have
in your life. What a privilege it is that I'm
talking to you right now. What a privilege it is that you
have opportunity to win a $200.00 gift card to Sephora.
Make sure you enter again. You want to leave a five star
review on Apple Podcast and Spotify?
You can do both for double entries.
Let's go. Hey #2 you're going to
screenshot those reviews and then make sure you e-mail that
review to me at theperryrichardson@gmail.com.
Make sure you leave a review. Honestly, it means so much.
The reviews that I've gotten so far have just made my day so
spectacular and has put a smile on my face.
So if you love the podcast, if this podcast has impacted you,
inspired you, please please, please, please, please leave a
five star review. I can't believe we're about to
hit 300 episodes. It's so crazy.
I just have so much love, so much gratitude for you.
I hope that you have a great week.
Let's kick some fucking ass. Let's go and I'll see you the
next one. Bye.
Thank you so much for listening to the Mindset Babe podcast.
If you are looking to get more confidence and take action
towards your dreams, then I want to invite you to work with me.
Ioffer private. One-on-one mentorship.
This mentorship. Will teach you everything about.
Goal setting, time management and manifestation so you can
transform your mindset. Get the.
Tools become the badass you were meant to be.
Register with the link in the show notes.