Welcome to the Mindset Bay. Podcast.
If you want more confidence and motivation, then you're in the
right place. Every week at.
Your dose of self development advice and strategies.
I'm your host Perry Richardson, life coach, NLP practitioner,
motivational speaker and mental health advocate.
My mission is help you find more happiness and take more action
in your life. Now let's begin.
Hello, hello, hello babe. Welcome to the Mindset Babe
podcast. Are you struggling with your
confidence? Do you feel like you lack
confidence compared to other people?
That the self doubt, the fear, everything is at the surface?
If so, then I created this podcast episode for you.
I am so excited for this. This is a recent concept and
tool I taught in Becoming Her. I have taught all of my students
this process and it's already giving them results, changing
their mindset. They're already feeling better
about who they are and what they're doing.
I love creating new concepts, having new ideas to teach so my
clients feel better and they stop overthinking.
And this was actually a recent transformation that I went
through coaching that I received from my coach.
And I've got that coaching in December.
I'm going to like tell you the whole story and how this idea
really came to me and what made me want to teach it to my
clients. And now you is just the feeling
of feeling unworthy, having self doubt and wanting to quit on
your dream, on your goal. So let's get into it.
I'm so excited to teach this on the podcast episode today.
I had to teach all my clients this first.
So the past two weeks I've been teaching this concept over and
over and over and over again, which I re find it.
It's so much powerful now, getting all my clients
perspective and their opinions. So let's do it.
So in December, and I've talked about this before, but in
December I was feeling like a loser.
I felt like a failure. I turned 30 on December 23rd and
then also with the year ending, I just had a lot of emotions
come up. I was going to a new decade
right end of the year and I felt like a loser.
I felt disappointed. I felt frustrated because I
still work my 9:00 to 5:00 job and I'm building my business and
I just thought by now I would be a full time business owner and
just doing this like as my full time gig.
I just had missed expectations. I thought it was going to happen
a lot quicker than it was and I was really thinking if I should
even give up my business, if I should really just quit my
business and focus just getting a higher paying full time job.
And I went to my coach feeling really defeated, feeling
disappointed like why can't I figure this shit out?
Felt like such a loser. And I tell her all of this and
she's like, OK, you told me all the self doubt, you told me all
the uncertainty, you told me all the fear.
But what do you know? What are you certain of?
And that question changed everything for me.
And I've been asking myself that question since December.
And it's completely shifted my confidence, my belief with my
business, with who I am, what I'm creating, my mission, my
goal, my purpose. And it's just made me feel more
grounded and certain in my life and who I am.
Like I finally figured out this life thing.
Like, I know what I'm doing. Like I feel like I know what I'm
doing. And This is why I really created
this. And I'm going to share this
amazing tool with you so you feel like you know what you're
doing. So I realized the reason why we
feel bad. It's because of uncertainty.
Uncertain if we're doing enough, uncertain if we're lovable,
uncertain if this will work, uncertain if we should keep on
going. And uncertainty comes from the
fear of the unknown, right? The fear of judgment, the fear
of failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of getting
left out, right FOMO, the fear of missing out in the fear of
not being good enough because if you're not good enough, then
you're going to get kicked out the pack.
So a lot of fear that we experience is just because of
the uncertainty that we have. But fear is a part of human
nature. Fear is a part of life.
I was giving my. Clients this example of like
kids who are scared of monsters. So before bed, the kids like,
can you check underneath my bed? Like there's monsters.
Like can you check? And then right, you check
underneath the bed and you're like, no, honey, there's no
monsters. They're like, OK, but can you
check the closet? There's the monsters in there
and you check the closet and there's no monsters in there,
right? And as an adult, we know there's
no monsters in the room. There's no boogeyman.
We know that's true. But that fear part of our brain
never left. As a young child, that fear
attached itself to monsters under the bed.
And as an adult, that fear part of ourselves, the fear part of
our brain to have us look out in the corner of our eyes and to
make sure we're safe, went and latched on to something else.
And so now your brain will tell you, I don't know about this.
Like your brain will offer you confusion, like to keep you
safe, to keep you stuck, to keep you in place.
Because if you don't know, you don't have to move right?
Or your brain will be like, I want to do something, but then
I'll go but, but, but, but, but don't forget about this thing in
the past, the thing that hurt you.
You don't want to do that again. For example, I had a client,
she's going on her health and fitness journey and she's always
just struggled with her weight. And she's like, I want to get
healthy, I want to lose weight. But all these things in the
past, I've been doing this for years.
So that's her monster under the bed is all the things that she's
done in the past that failed. I had another client.
She wants to start dating, but her brain is telling her blah,
blah, blah, blah. Remember all those men in the
past who treated you like shit? Actually, all men are shit.
You don't want to do that. And so our brain will tell us
blah, blah, blah, blah because of the fear and uncertainty, and
that's our monsters under the bed.
So I really want you to ask yourself, what do you want to
do? But your brain's like, blah,
blah, blah, blah. But don't do that.
Because XY and Z, that's the fear, that's the uncertainty.
That's the monster under your bed, and the brain will feed you
fear and uncertainty. To keep you safe.
Under the covers. And as a kid, sure, you might be
able to stay under the covers and hope the monster doesn't see
you, but as an adult, you just can't hide under the covers all
day. You have to be a functional
member of society like you just can't be in bed all day.
You have to get up. You have to deal with the scary
monsters. So that's the what that's the
like uncertainty, the fear. I really wanted to set the stage
for it. Why this is important, why this
is impactful and why you need this tool every single day in
your life. Why you need this mindset tool
and like your tool belt to help you shift your state of mind
One, because it shapes your identity.
You don't act from your goals, you act from your beliefs.
If you're uncertain about who you are, you're going to
hesitate. If you are certain about who you
are and who you're becoming, you're going to move.
Identity always wins over intention.
You can set the goal to lose weight, get healthy, whatever it
is. But if you don't see yourself as
someone who eats healthy, as someone who gets exercise and
moves their body, you're never going to do it.
Or if you have a goal to get married and have a family.
But if you have the identity in seeing men as shit, that's never
going to happen for you. Or you're just going to attract
a man who's shit. If you don't trust yourself, you
don't trust other people, you're not going to create that loving
relationship that you want. It all comes from the inside #2
because it determines your action.
Uncertainty creates overthinking, and then
overthinking creates delay, And then delay kills momentum.
And if you want to achieve your big goals, you're going to need
momentum to get you going and to keep you going.
Uncertain women wait. They wait to move.
They ask for permission, they're waiting on the sidelines.
Versus certain women move, they go for it.
They take action, they take risks, they make bold moves,
they try something different. And going back to the last
point, that certainty really forms your identity in who you
are, and then who you are drives your behavior.
Then your behavior is what makes your results, what drives your
results and creates the life that you truly desire.
Another reason why this concept and tool is so important is
because it changes your emotional experience.
You can have the same circumstance but with different
certainty and that changes how you feel.
For example, like nothing has changed for me.
Like I'm still working my full time job, I'm still doing my
client calls after work and on the weekends.
Nothing has changed but my confidence, my willingness to go
after the challenge, to work hard to go after it.
It's almost like I double down on my belief and my commitment
to where I'm going. Nothing has changed.
Just my certainty of winning has my certainty of belief of that
it's working and I'm capable. And I want you to think of those
two different realities. The reality of me thinking I'm a
failure, I'm a loser. I can't believe I'm still doing
this. It's never going to work.
It's not working. I'm just going to quit.
Should I quit that mindset? What do you think I do and how
do you think I'm feeling? I'll tell you one thing.
I felt really defeated. I felt disappointed in myself
and then the actions, right? Probably not doing too much,
doing the very like bare minimal versus the mindset, I know what
I'm doing, I'm capable, this is working.
I'm certain that I'm going to win.
I'm certain if I keep taking action, this will turn out.
Imagine the feelings that you're going to have and then when you
feel those feelings, the action you're going to take two
different certainties. You can be certain that it's not
going to work or you can be certain that it is going to
work. And when you have the certainty
that it's working for you, your life is going to change.
You're going to take more action because what you think your
mindset drives your actions and your actions create your
results. So I looked up the definition of
certainty and I thought this was so interesting.
All right, so Are you ready? Certainty is the emotional
commitment to belief, certainty the emotional commitment to a
belief. And I love this definition so
much because certainty is a feeling you have, the emotional
commitment that you have. And then our feelings are caused
by our thoughts are caused by our beliefs.
And I already mentioned this, but the two different types of
commitment, you can be committed to the belief of it's not
working, I'm a failure, I'm a loser, I hate my life, I'm not
worthy. This isn't working for me.
I have been there. I have been there.
Or you can have the commitment to the belief I know what I'm
doing. This is working.
I am capable. I got this.
And so the tool I'm going to teach, don't worry, I'm going to
get into it at the end of the episode.
I'm going to teach you it, but I got to make sure your mindset is
on board because I can tell. You what to do?
But if you are on the other side of uncertainty, you're not going
to do it. But the whole point of this tool
and concept is to help your brain get on board with the
certainty of it's working that you can do this.
The certainty of feeling motivated, of feeling
determined. That's where I want your brain
to be in the whole point of this exercise and what I'm going to
teach you the tool at the end of the episode.
But I do think certainty and confidence, they're the same,
but a little different. For me, confidence is external,
like confidence can be determined by circumstances.
For example, if I do a full face of makeup, put my eyelashes on,
put some red lipstick. On.
Have a cute outfit. I'm going to be feeling
confident. Like I can do these things to
feel confident versus certainty. When I feel certain, it's a
internal knowing. It's very grounded, very
powerful and I wanted to give 2 examples kind of illustrating
this. One example is example.
That my client gave. Me.
She talked about going to school like she was very certain she
was going to get her bachelor's degree.
But the classes not every single.
Class she took, she had confidence.
Not every single test she took, she had confidence, but she was
certain that she was going to get her degree.
Another example, like my personal example, I am certain
if I take action in my business, I will get the result that I
want. I am certain becoming her is
life changing. It's going to help so many
women. But sometimes my launches in
between launches, my confidence varies between launch, every
single launch. Like, I'm certain that it's
going to help people, but sometimes, right, my confidence
dips. I had another client tell me
that she was certain that she wanted to be a mother and she
was certain that she's going to have a family and she wanted to
be. A mom, but the.
Confidence of being a mom. She had no idea what she was
doing pregnant. She, she was, you know, back and
forth with her confidence, but she was certain this is what she
wanted. And for me, certainty is also
like commitment, like you are committed to the result no
matter what happens. You don't have to be confident
in every single moment of taking action towards the result.
You just need that certainty, that internal knowing that it's
going to work out, that it's going to happen for you.
I hope that makes sense. I hope those examples really
like clarify it for you. But you can not have confidence,
but you can be very certain with who you are and what you're
doing. And that's the conversation that
I really we're having today. My coach always tells me you
don't need to be positive, you need to be powerful.
And it makes me think of like this example, right?
You don't need to be confident, you just need to be certain.
There's two quotes I found that I think will really help this
podcast, give it more weight and more value, really be impactful.
Quote #1 Whatever you think you can or you think you can't,
you're right, Henry Ford. So if you believe that you can
do it, you can. If you believe you can't, you
can't. Another quote is you become what
you believe, Oprah Winfrey, Whatever you believe to be true,
whatever you're certain of will happen for you.
You become what you believe. We have two options when it
comes to our mindset. Right, we have our.
Confident mindset, which is our certain mindset and then we also
have a self doubt mindset which is the uncertain.
Mindset on. Average a human has 14,000 to
60,000 thoughts per day, 80% of those.
Thoughts are. Negative unless you interrupt
it. When I told this to my client
she was like what does like interrupt like really mean and
to me? Interrupting your thought.
Means switching. Your thoughts?
Jumping thoughts? Changing.
Thoughts. I had another.
Client tell me. I just love doing.
The one-on-one coaching sessions with Becoming Her 'cause it gets
so many like perspectives and so many ways I can explain this,
especially for the podcast audience, for you right now, but
my client. Said it's awareness like.
How you interrupt is having awareness of your.
Thoughts. And I just.
Thought that was so genius but pretty much interrupting it is
having the awareness. That you're having that thought.
And then changing. That thought.
And the very first step in becoming her is teaching you how
to redirect your brain. And I give you so many.
Tools to do so and the new. Tool I just created.
Which I'm so. Excited to finally.
Give it to you 20. Minutes in this podcast.
It's called the certainty game. The certainty game is a hope.
You. Dig for the positivity.
To help you. Interrupt the negative thinking
for you to feel certain and for you to feel confident in
whatever you're doing. The certainty game.
There's only two rules. Only two.
The very first rule, positive answers only.
You can only answer. With positive thoughts.
Positive. Answers and rule #2 You can't
say I don't know, you have to force yourself to answer the
question. OK, so those are the 2 rules,
positive answers only. And you can't say I don't know.
You have to force yourself to answer the question.
Other things to know, be creative.
The questions can be related to any subject, any topic.
During my coaching calls this week, like I was using the
certainty game towards their individual challenge, their
individual problem. Again, like people come to me
for everything. I solve all the problems with
the coaching tools that I have. And so I was just using the
certainty game to solve all my clients problems this week.
So what are you certain of? I asked my client this and she's
like, I don't understand what you're asking me.
Like what do you mean? Like I don't understand?
And I was like, OK, so it's like what do you know?
What are you certain of? What do you know?
Some things that I am certain of.
I am certain that I am deeply loved.
My husband loves me so much. My family loves me so much.
I know that I am deeply loved in those two areas.
Friendships hit or miss. Did you see what I did there?
I was talking about the certainty and then I was but in
this area, but this area, I did that on purpose.
I did that on purpose because I actually had that experience
like a couple minutes ago, like thinking about what I was going
to say for this part of the podcast.
And so just notice my brain even did that.
Remember, we want to stick on the positive.
No, but but, but but buts. So we're going to start over.
I am certain I am deeply loved. I have people that love me.
I am certain that this podcast creates an impact.
Like if I just show up on this podcast, like I'm going to
change so many lives. I'm certain I love what I'm
doing. I love personal development.
I love learning new things. I love helping women transform
their lives and for them to completely change who they are.
I love coaching. I love being a mentor.
I am certain that I live in such a beautiful city yesterday.
I live in Las Vegas, NV yesterday I could see the
mountains with the snow and I'm like driving past like the strip
and it was just so beautiful being on the 15 yesterday,
seeing the mountains with the beautiful strip.
Like in between that and the Legion stadium where the Raiders
play. It was a gorgeous drive to work
yesterday. I am certain I live in such a
beautiful city. I am certain of that.
I am certain that I know how to make money.
I am certain I know how to save money.
I am certain when it comes to finances.
Like I finally have figured that out.
I am certain in that area. So what are you certain of?
It can be very broad or can be about a certain topic.
For example, like this was originally for my business.
So what I'm certain of when it comes to my business, I'm
certain that hundreds of people are engaged and interested in my
work. I am certain that people want my
work. I am certain that I know what
I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about.
I am certain that becoming her selves.
I am certain that people of the mindset, babe, like I am certain
I got this so you can have something about business.
I had a client who's on her health and fitness.
So I asked her, like, what are you certain about health and
fitness? What are you certain about food?
What are you certain about diets?
What are you certain about your ability to show up?
And that question actually was kind of in all of the certainty
games that I played with my clients this week, It's like,
what are you certain about your ability to show up?
I am certain if I have a game plan, if I schedule the time to
do it, I'm going to do it. I am certain that I will show up
for the things that I want. I am certain that I just have to
get my brain on board and to get myself motivated.
Like I am certain that I know how to show up.
I am physically able to show up. I am certain that I can do it.
What are you certain about life? Like, what do you know about
life? I know life is hard.
I am certain that things are tough and they are difficult.
I am certain that life is 50, fifty, 50% terrible and 50%
amazing and awesome, like life is going to have difficult
times. I am certain that life is
beautiful and there's so many things to be grateful for life.
I'm certain that life is a gift and we are the present.
I am certain that you have to work hard like if you want
results, you need to put the time, energy and effort like I'm
certain you have to show up to get the things that you want in
life. What are you certain about who
you are? What do you know about who you
are? Right?
What are you certain of? I am certain that I am
determined. I am a disciplined person.
I am certain that I'm a positive person.
I look on the bright side and I am certain that I have good.
Energy, and I am. Certain that I am actually
really hilarious. People say I'm funny, but I am
certain that I am full of light and hope and positivity and I am
certain I know how to have a good time.
When you focus on the certainty of your life, when you focus on
what you do know instead of what you don't, you shift your energy
to positivity, to confidence, to motivation.
You just like level up. Like the best thing I can think
of is like a battery. And like when you're thinking
about what's not working, when you're thinking about the
uncertainty, the fear, the self doubt, it's like the red part of
the battery. It's like very, very low.
It's like 5% and the best way to refill your battery is by doing
the certainty game. So I challenge you for the next
30 days to ask yourself every single day, what are you certain
of? It could be literally about just
that question. What are you certain of about
life or do you certain of about health and fitness, finances,
whatever you're working on, What are you certain of?
You can write this down. Honestly, I don't care.
It could be in the shower, it could be driving to work and
could be cooking dinner. As long as you ask yourself this
question again, positive answers only, and you have to force
yourself to answer the question. And I love a list of 10.
What are 10 things you're certain of?
I love 10 because it really helps you shift the energy
because you could do like 3 or 4 but when you get to 7 you're
like, I don't know. But when you force yourself to
say the answer, when you dig for that positivity, you will find
gold. So make sure you do list of 10
every single day for 30 days. I promise you this will change
your life. And when it does?
Message me on Instagram The mindset babe.
I want to know how this changed everything for you.
This is a simple, easy, impactful exercise for you to
do. I'm so excited that you finally
know about the certainty game. I love you so much.
Thank you, thank you. Thank you for listening to the
mindset babe podcast. If you enjoy this episode, make
sure you leave a five star review.
Leave your girl review. Let me know your favorite
episode. Let me know the thing that has
impacted you the most. Let me know what you want to
hear. Leave a five star review in
Apple podcast or Spotify. Follow me on Instagram, The
mindset babe, I love you so much and I will see you in the next
episode. Bye.
Thank you so much for. Listening to the Mindset Babe
podcast. If you are.
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