1 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,560 Our teaching scripture this morning comes from Lamentations 2 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:23,440 chapter 3, verses 16 through 26. He has made my teeth grind on 3 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,600 gravel. He has made me cower in ashes. 4 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:34,120 My soul is bereft of peace. I have forgotten what happiness 5 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:40,680 is, so I say, gone is my glory and all that I had hoped for 6 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:44,760 from the Lord. The thought of my affliction and 7 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:48,560 my homelessness is Wormwood and gall. 8 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:55,560 My soul continually thinks of it and is bowed down within me. 9 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:03,040 But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope. 10 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:08,400 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. 11 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,280 His mercies never come to an end. 12 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:16,080 They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. 13 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520 The Lord is my portion, says my soul. 14 00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:26,680 Therefore I will hope in him. The Lord is good to those who 15 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,800 wait for him, to the soul that seeks Him. 16 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:35,640 It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the 17 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:43,720 Lord, The word of the Lord. Before I get into preaching, I 18 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:44,920 just want to give. A quick. 19 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,880 Shout out from the front so. Our friend Luis this past. 20 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:55,360 Week, if you don't know, passed his citizenship test so friends. 21 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:01,240 This church has. Been traveling with Rachel and 22 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:04,840 Luis through this long process of, of Luis's immigration 23 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,960 process, all the ups and downs and just the tumultuous journey 24 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,400 that that's been and. Guys, we love you these. 25 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,680 Two and Rio are so. Precious to this church. 26 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:18,480 Family and just, we just wanted to take the opportunity to shout 27 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,800 Luis out from the front and celebrate that with them. 28 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,760 As a church so. If you have an encouraging word 29 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,080 or something to share, let him have it. 30 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:36,400 So the book of. Lamentations is a series of five 31 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:41,480 poems written by an anonymous. Author after the catastrophic. 32 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:46,400 Exile of the ancient Israelites to Babylon in the 6th century 33 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,480 BC. Lamentations and the other 34 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:55,280 lament poems in the Bible sort of stand as a form of protest. 35 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,680 As a way to process. Emotion and a. 36 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:03,800 Place for people to voice. Confusion with why things. 37 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:08,320 Are the way they are. Suffering makes us ask questions 38 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,440 about God's character. Suffering makes us ask. 39 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:18,120 Questions about what the heck is going on in the world and none 40 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:22,600 of this is looked down upon in scripture in. 41 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,440 Fact, quite the opposite. The words that we read this. 42 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,120 Morning the the words of human grief in the Book of 43 00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:33,640 Lamentations have become. Part of God's own word to His 44 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:36,320 people, have you? Ever thought about how profound 45 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,120 that is? That there's a whole. 46 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,600 Book in the Bible. That just. 47 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,280 Describes suffering from the human. 48 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,800 Perspective we actually. This morning, read the only 49 00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:49,040 hopeful and encouraging words in the Book of Lamentations, and 50 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,840 that becomes. Part of the scriptures, part of 51 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,200 the way that God speaks back to. His own people. 52 00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:01,280 Chapter 3 is the. Longest poem and it holds, like 53 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,640 I said, the only real. Words of hope, but our. 54 00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:08,440 Passage today begins. He has made my teeth grind on 55 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,920 gravel. He's made me cower in ashes. 56 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,560 My soul is bereft of. Peace. 57 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,240 I've forgotten what happiness. Is so I say. 58 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,839 Gone is my glory and. All that I had hoped. 59 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:20,640 For from the Lord the thought of my affliction and my 60 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,960 homelessness is Wormwood and gall. 61 00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:28,160 My soul continually thinks of it and is bowed down before me. 62 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,360 So we're in this series on the passions of the soul, the. 63 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,520 Passions are just deep, God-given. 64 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:40,000 Capacities to feel, to desire. And ultimately to respond to 65 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,120 what is good and the early Christian writers didn't see the 66 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,880 passions as enemies to be. Suppressed, but as impulses 67 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,640 that. Often need healing within us and 68 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,960 each passion when touched. By the love of God. 69 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,680 Can become a place where transformation actually begins 70 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:03,600 inside of us and so today we are looking at the fourth of these 71 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:07,960 passions in our series despondency and so this. 72 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,640 Week as I thought about. Sadness and despondency. 73 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,840 I was like Lord. You know, I'm preaching on 74 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,840 despondency and. God said I will, I will. 75 00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:19,880 Bring the the mood. So, you know, I got up this 76 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:26,080 morning and was like, wow, how fitting that it's like this. 77 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,440 And then I was like. But we were also supposed to 78 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,200 pull weeds outside and stuff, so that's. 79 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,200 Kind of inconvenient, but anyway it's fine. 80 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,840 In the early church, what we called. 81 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,960 Despondency was often described in. 82 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,080 Other words. So if you start to. 83 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,000 Look for some sort of primary. Sources or you look for. 84 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,560 Despondency in the scriptures you won't often find. 85 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:54,680 That exact word used if vagarius called it sorrow, that corrodes 86 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:57,280 hope. John Cashin called it sadness, 87 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:02,160 and later the Eastern tradition started to use terms that sort 88 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,680 of sounded. Like the idea of loss of heart. 89 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,240 And so over time, English translators began using 90 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:14,200 despondency to capture the same. Reality that these early 91 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,160 sources. Are trying to. 92 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,720 Sort of piece together what we're talking. 93 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,240 About if you remember. A couple. 94 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:21,800 Of weeks ago when Carl preached on Acedia. 95 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,880 We're not talking about restlessness like Acedia, you 96 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:29,480 know, if you'll remember. Acedia is sort of this like. 97 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,600 Longing this kind of outward looking, you know, I'm trying to 98 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,040 get out of my circumstances, the noonday demon. 99 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,440 I hate how my life is. And so we're having flights of 100 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:42,640 fancy and thinking about, you know, how else things could be 101 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,360 in in a in a sort of attempt to escape. 102 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:52,360 But despondency is this weariness of. 103 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:54,080 The soul. When? 104 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:58,840 Hope sort of gives out. And so that's why we're using 105 00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:00,720 this word. Because it just sort of captures 106 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,040 this wide. Variety of meanings that we see 107 00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:04,560 throughout time. Despondency. 108 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,520 Has lots of faces. It can look. 109 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,680 Like a quiet. Cynicism that's kind of always 110 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:16,960 running in the background. A numb distraction doom scroll. 111 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,520 Fatigue. Sort of an inability to become 112 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,320 present in any way because internally we find. 113 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:25,120 Ourselves. So sort of. 114 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,440 Numb and almost like there's nothing going on. 115 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:33,080 The lights are on. Nobody's home in our soul, and 116 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:38,320 so we still move fast. The pace of our life doesn't. 117 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,400 Change. We're doing all the things that 118 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,240 we would normally do. But our souls have stopped. 119 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:49,400 Moving despondency is is sort. Of like your heart has. 120 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:53,840 Run out of breath. The former Archbishop of 121 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,240 Canterbury, Rowan Williams, in his book The Passions of the 122 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,520 Soul, describes this kind of. Spiritual sorrow. 123 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:04,680 Saying When love is tired of stretching outward, it curls 124 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,680 back on itself and. Calls it realism. 125 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,240 So I don't know if you've ever experienced this, but like you 126 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,600 are in a particular season of your life where things seem 127 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,000 hopeful and alive and you can sort of imagine a. 128 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,400 Future for yourself. Or your family or the community. 129 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,320 That you're a part of. And then maybe some things start 130 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,160 to shift, some disappointment comes, there's some brokenness 131 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,320 that kind of like sneaks its way in and you start to become a 132 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,600 little bit cynical, a little bit. 133 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:34,799 Hard hearted about what's? Going on around you and you just 134 00:08:34,799 --> 00:08:37,320 say, well, I'm just being realistic about the situation. 135 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,640 That's like kind of where the door is just. 136 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,159 Cracked open a little bit to this thing that we would call 137 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,200 despondency. So today I want to just name 138 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,200 despondency as this long weariness of the soul that has 139 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:57,880 stopped expecting renewal, that stopped expecting love or hope 140 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,600 to come to us as much as any of the passions. 141 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:06,560 Despondency is the one that at least I find myself. 142 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,880 Sort of. Pretending my way through, 143 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:17,080 refusing to acknowledge that there's a sense that you know, 144 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:21,840 I'm I'm here and I'm moving through my life, but I'm not 145 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,360 really here. I'm not really present. 146 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,080 There's just something happening inside of me that's taken my 147 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:31,160 hope down a few notches, and I can be present, but I can't 148 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:35,080 really be present. And so the invitation in all of 149 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:39,160 this that I want us to just kind of hold before. 150 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,000 The Lord before each other is to resist. 151 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,080 Pretending that this isn't going on inside of some of us and 152 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,520 allow God to begin to heal what's gone numb a number of 153 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:51,160 weeks. Ago I was. 154 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaking with some of the folks who are responsible for the A A 155 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,720 meetings. That we have the privilege of. 156 00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:58,560 Hosting here in the church. By the way. 157 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,160 Do you guys know? That we're about to be host. 158 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,880 To five different recovery meetings throughout the week. 159 00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:07,080 That we like have. The lights on and the doors 160 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,320 open. Almost. 161 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,680 Every day of the week. At this point, that's something. 162 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:12,960 That is just like. Really, you know, this this 163 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,240 building, this physical location is like a gift to us from God 164 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:20,240 and we have increasing opportunities to share it with 165 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,000 our neighbors. And so I'm just so pleased that 166 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,920 that's happening. But I was talking with some of 167 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,880 the folks who run a couple of the A a meetings in our space 168 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,080 and and was just sort of sharing, you know, my. 169 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:34,400 Prayer for our church is. Regularly that this gathering. 170 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:39,120 That this group of people. Would begin to look more and 171 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,720 more like what's happening in those meetings because I don't 172 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,800 know if you know this when people. 173 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,200 Show up for a recovery. Meeting. 174 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:49,320 There's not a lot of pretending going on. 175 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,840 Folks seem to sort of have an idea. 176 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,720 About like why they're there. And that, you know, there's like 177 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:56,880 some. Real stuff. 178 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,120 Going on and. I just hope that over. 179 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:05,320 Time, as we grow in being a community of prayer that engages 180 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,720 suffering, as we sort of push out into the neighborhood and 181 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,240 we, you know, love our neighbors well and so on, that we would 182 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,440 also be growing and just showing up in spaces like this and 183 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,560 bringing what's true and what's real. 184 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:18,880 About our lives because. You know, there's there's so 185 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:25,640 much sort of untruth that we can be tempted to bring into. 186 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,880 Church with us. And it just, like doesn't serve 187 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,600 us well. It doesn't help us know God. 188 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,280 It doesn't help us know one another. 189 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,680 It just helps us. Kind of maintain like an image 190 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,800 and so. Just that that we would be. 191 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,520 More and more like an A a meeting that honesty and not 192 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,400 perfection would be the thing that we would understand as. 193 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,800 Sort of the doorway to. Everything that God has for us 194 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,240 in our lives and before we go any further. 195 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:58,040 I want to pause. On what we actually mean when we 196 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,000 talk about despondency. Because a lot of. 197 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,360 US will immediately wonder how does this interact? 198 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:08,320 With depression. So I know depression is 199 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:13,000 widespread or sadness and and the truth is that sadness and 200 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:17,240 despondency and depression are things that overlap in kind of 201 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,200 complicated ways, but they're not the same thing. 202 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,080 And I want to just. Provide that a. 203 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,440 Sort of a clarification and something for us to. 204 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,120 Hold. As we consider. 205 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,600 Like what is actually? Happening inside of me. 206 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,920 These aren't clinical definitions. 207 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,280 I just want to like, you know? Level with you that this. 208 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,120 Is my my sort of working? Like pastoral kind of 209 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:43,480 philosophy. Of how these things tend to. 210 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:45,440 Work together because they do work together. 211 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:50,160 Sadness we can think of as a temporary and situational 212 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,240 condition, that it comes in response to loss, 213 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:57,640 disappointment, or pain. And sadness still believes that 214 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,400 something matters. It still reaches toward healing 215 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:08,200 given time and comfort and the you know, the the intensity of 216 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,160 sadness tends to pass. It doesn't go away. 217 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:14,720 The thing that we. Feel sad about still exists. 218 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,120 As a true condition. Of our life, but it's sort of 219 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,840 the the. Body and the hearts way of 220 00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:22,120 saying something I love is missing. 221 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:28,120 Depression, on the other hand, is clinical and embodied and it 222 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:32,960 involves changes in the body and the mind, energy and sleep and 223 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:36,000 chemistry and mood. And it's a medical and 224 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,400 psychological. Reality that deserves. 225 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:44,560 Therapy and treatment and compassion and seeking that kind 226 00:13:44,560 --> 00:13:49,000 of help is not a lack of faith. It's not a misunderstanding 227 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:51,640 about how the passions work. It's one of the. 228 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:55,800 Ways that we let God heal us. Through the wisdom and the. 229 00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,120 Care of other people. Someone can be clinically 230 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,600 depressed and still very spiritually. 231 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:07,080 Alive likewise. Someone could be mentally 232 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:11,440 healthy and be experiencing a deep kind of despondency. 233 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,320 Does that make sense? So these things are not one in 234 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,200 the same. But they're very. 235 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:18,280 Similar and so you know, it just takes. 236 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,080 What it what it really takes is real. 237 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,680 Discernment to figure out what we're dealing with, what's in 238 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:28,000 front of us. Despondency is not a passing 239 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,600 feeling, and it's not a clinical condition. 240 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,320 It's a state of the. Soul where we've. 241 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:37,280 Grown weary. Of. 242 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:41,960 Hoping and where love and desire kind of fall asleep. 243 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,040 And the early church tradition actually talks. 244 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,080 About a lot of the. Other passions sort of 245 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,760 proceeding from despondency because we get sort of tuned out 246 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,960 of what's actually going on inside of us and any number of 247 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:58,320 things can follow from that. It's not. 248 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,960 The. Shock that comes with sadness. 249 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,360 If you've ever experienced, you know, something tremendously sad 250 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,040 or traumatic in your life, it doesn't. 251 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:07,800 It doesn't pack quite the same punch. 252 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,960 It's just this thing that kind of tempts us to believe that 253 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:15,920 nothing can be made new. Nothing in your day-to-day life, 254 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,560 nothing out in the world can really change. 255 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,040 And so despondency, it's not this dramatic. 256 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,760 Crisis. Sometimes it's just the quiet 257 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:31,600 decision to live in a smaller story to just. 258 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:36,480 Believe a little bit less about what could be true for you to 259 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,360 believe a little bit less about what could be true. 260 00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,960 For the world around you and to just turn the volume way down 261 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,560 on. Sort of hope for the future. 262 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,520 It's it's. Fatigue of meaning. 263 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,240 It's this corrosion of trust that life. 264 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,280 Could still surprise. Us with some kind of. 265 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:58,240 Gift of grace. You know you you can maybe think 266 00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:02,600 of a time where something beautiful in your life happened 267 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,760 or you experienced. The love of God through. 268 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,040 Something out in the world, something in your life A. 269 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,440 Beautiful piece of art or a. Moment in nature or something 270 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,760 like that, and despondency. Is just sort of like. 271 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:21,400 Yeah, that's not really for me. Depression can empty the energy 272 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,640 and the focus and the. Capacity to feel joy. 273 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:28,000 And when that goes on long enough, despondency often moves 274 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,120 in behind it. Just in one of these. 275 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,920 Sort of ways that they work together. 276 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,360 It it whispers this must. Be all that there is. 277 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:39,840 And so the emotional fog of depression becomes. 278 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:41,600 A. A spiritual. 279 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:45,920 Weariness of meaning. It's why. 280 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,320 The way forward isn't just through willpower. 281 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,960 And it's not just through treatment alone. 282 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:55,400 Those things are very important. We allow God and other. 283 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:59,360 People to reach into all of these dimensions of what's 284 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:00,920 happening inside. Of us, the body's. 285 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,320 Exhaustion. The soul's loss of hope. 286 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:08,400 The conditions of our life and the love of God can touch the 287 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:13,040 whole person, not just the mood or the mind. 288 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,000 But the whole all. Of the things that are happening 289 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:20,720 inside of us. And so I just want to emphasize, 290 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:24,119 we don't sort these things out alone. 291 00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:27,640 It it must be something that we discern in community, in 292 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,680 therapy, in what we call formational healing, in 293 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:34,640 spiritual direction, in friendship and community. 294 00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,480 These are all places where the light. 295 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:41,400 Of another person's care can help us see what's really going 296 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,600 on inside of us and there are times when it's. 297 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,600 Hard to tell. Where one of these things ends 298 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,280 and the other begins. And so that's why all of these 299 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,600 things work best together, the healing for what's going on in 300 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:56,880 our inside. Life rarely. 301 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,680 Happens in one lane. Does that make sense? 302 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,440 So whether it's your therapist or a pastor. 303 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,280 Or a small group, or a trusted friend. 304 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:11,640 That's why as a church. We want to lean into just a lot 305 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,680 of imagination for the. Life that we share together. 306 00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,960 God's healing presence. Reaches us. 307 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:22,160 Through the discerning presence of other people, I can remember 308 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:25,280 a stretch when Bri and I hadn't been married for long. 309 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,600 We were both still undergraduates and in addition 310 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,080 to working part time. For the Vineyard church that we 311 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,240 were at. At the time I was taking a full. 312 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,720 Load of classes. And I was working the overnight 313 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,760 shift at a restaurant from 8:00 PM to 4:00 AM four or five 314 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,760 nights a week, and everything in my life kept moving. 315 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,520 I I successfully. Completed that season of life 316 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,920 and I never missed a day of work and I didn't get sick. 317 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:56,360 I I did skip a lot of class but it. 318 00:18:56,360 --> 00:19:01,160 It all kind of happened like it all kept going but underneath I 319 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,680 had completely. Stopped. 320 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,560 Believing that anything new could happen in my life. 321 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,160 I mean, just the mind numbing nature of working in a 322 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:14,000 restaurant alone, some of you know, is enough to do this for a 323 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,800 person and with all the other things kind of layered on top. 324 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,720 Of that I was just. Flat I wasn't. 325 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:22,240 Angry. I wasn't particularly sad. 326 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,920 But I just kind of, you know, woke up tired and went through 327 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:29,640 the motions and felt a little bit. 328 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,480 Like I was. Watching my own life from a 329 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,480 distance. Have you ever? 330 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,200 Maybe experienced a season of life like that. 331 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,080 That's kind of what despondency feels like. 332 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:41,520 And so the days. All blurred together. 333 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:46,120 And nothing felt terrible, but nothing felt particularly alive 334 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:49,320 either. And my whole life, my whole 335 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,400 inside life was just kind of on autopilot. 336 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,400 And This is why, you know, I talk about pretending at the 337 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:01,200 very beginning because listen, that whole time I'm preaching 338 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,040 regularly and praying for people and, you know, having good 339 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:08,080 conversations at the restaurant. And have a very active. 340 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,760 Social life and all of that, and nobody. 341 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,960 Ever. Would have been able to look at 342 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,760 my life and say like. That guy is completely checked. 343 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:19,200 Out but the truth. Is I was. 344 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:24,160 Completely checked out. There was nothing going on in 345 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:25,280 here. Does that make sense? 346 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,120 And so this is this is despondency. 347 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:33,120 It's not dramatic. It's really easy to maintain for 348 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,480 a long time, but. Slowly it just erodes. 349 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:41,160 Our sense of meaning, our sense that like, yeah, I'm, I'm here 350 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,840 in the world for a reason and there's a purpose for my 351 00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,960 existence. You keep showing up that you've 352 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:50,640 lost any real expectation that God might meet. 353 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,400 You where you are. And so you smile when you're 354 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:57,920 supposed to, and you fulfill your duties, but inside there's 355 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,800 this dull sense that the color is just completely drained out 356 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,560 of your entire life. That's despondency. 357 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,480 At work. And. 358 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,440 I think it's actually really helpful to have. 359 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,200 Language to give to that feeling. 360 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,600 That's such a common experience that many of us have, and so 361 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,880 despondency is like. Exhausted. 362 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,120 Pain. It's it's the point. 363 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:22,560 Where our hearts just shut. Down in the spiritual tradition 364 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,120 it's sometimes described as. The heavy collapse that. 365 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,040 Comes when hope gives out, like when we just kind of hit this 366 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,520 point where it's like, I don't think I can continue to believe 367 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:34,400 that anything will get better. And it just the whole thing kind 368 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:39,440 of comes down on itself. And in this weariness, the ways 369 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,720 that we find ourselves pretending that we're fine and 370 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,960 we hide our numbness are vast. We kind of curate competence. 371 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:52,560 We call exhaustion calling like, well, this is just, you know, 372 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,240 what I'm supposed to be doing with my life. 373 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:59,480 And and you're way overextended, but you seek some kind of 374 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,200 purpose in that. Avoidance becomes something we 375 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,480 call peace. So I just have so much peace in 376 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,120 my life. And it's actually because you've 377 00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,320 just decided to sort of look. Away from everything that's 378 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:14,760 consequential, we call numbness maturity. 379 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,040 So, you know, you're just totally numbed out to the needs 380 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,760 of other people or the things that are going on around you or 381 00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,560 the complex web of relationships. 382 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,040 That you're a part of. And we? 383 00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:26,200 Just sort of say like. Well, it's because I'm mature 384 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,760 that I'm not affected by all of the stuff that's going on around 385 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,400 me. The reality is you've just tuned 386 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:37,280 out, we tell ourselves. If I keep moving fast enough, 387 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:41,880 maybe I won't have to. Feel how still it feels. 388 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:47,160 Inside of me. We paper over the the. 389 00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:52,800 The deadness inside. And sometimes we cling to the 390 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,080 illusion that we can fix ourselves in in this. 391 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:59,440 Regard we we tweak. Our commitments to just make 392 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,320 things work a little bit better for how we're feeling or we read 393 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,520 another book or the thing I always. 394 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,720 Do is I I. Delete everything from my Google 395 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,920 Calendar and then I start. Over I've probably talked about 396 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,360 this. Before, But you know, I'll just 397 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:14,160 like sit down and just take out all the recurring events and all 398 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:15,280 the things that I've planned to do. 399 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,760 And then I think, OK, given how I feel and the circumstances of 400 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,440 my life, I will rebuild my Google Calendar in a way that I 401 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,880 can sort of manage and show up for all the things that I need 402 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,080 to do. And so then I, I build it again. 403 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,880 And I think now I'm going to like live into this new reality. 404 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:37,600 And then I'm still sad. And this is, this is what makes 405 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:41,240 it a passion. It can't be healed by better 406 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:47,880 management. It can't be healed by any effort 407 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:50,120 of our own. It can't be. 408 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,400 Healed by just. Praying a little bit more or 409 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:54,320 just reading your Bible a little bit more. 410 00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:58,880 Did you say that? Yes, it can't. 411 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,600 It, it just can't. There's not a thing that we can 412 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:07,840 do that will make it go away. It bends reality until some kind 413 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:11,960 of illusion about what's going on inside of us feels safer than 414 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:15,720 the truth. And we would rather maintain 415 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:20,000 some kind of facade than taking the terrifying leap into 416 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,400 whatever lies beyond self disclosure. 417 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,920 And just saying to somebody, I'm not really here. 418 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:34,200 I don't feel anything when I pray. 419 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:41,000 I don't feel anything when I think about my family, whatever 420 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,880 it might be. That's just. 421 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,280 The reality of what? This thing does inside of us 422 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,000 despondency also, and this is important. 423 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:57,000 For our public life. Becomes fertile soil for 424 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,160 manipulation. I think this is particularly 425 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,320 important for the season that we are in right now, all the things 426 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:08,280 that we're observing going on in our city, in our nation. 427 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,160 In the hearts of people. On. 428 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:18,080 Facebook or X or your. Drug of choice when people. 429 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:24,280 Are too weary for hope. They start looking for borrowed 430 00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:29,640 energy. They start outsourcing moral 431 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,360 feeling to whomever promises certainty. 432 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:38,640 And we look for belonging and we look for strength. 433 00:25:39,120 --> 00:25:42,480 Outside of ourselves. In something out in the. 434 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:47,320 World that feels particularly. Strong or certain. 435 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:51,960 And when a whole culture sort of sinks into spiritual 436 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:58,040 despondency, it stops believing in this kind of interior renewal 437 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,960 that's available to us and starts reaching out for some 438 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:05,360 kind of spectacle to make us feel something and we become 439 00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:09,040 vulnerable to. False fire to. 440 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:14,600 Voices that promise passion without love and energy without 441 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:18,200 empathy and conviction without discernment. 442 00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,880 And I just want to. Say a little bit about this idea 443 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,200 of false fire or deceptive lights. 444 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,240 Have you heard that phrase before with regards to? 445 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,720 Sailing, I know we don't have many sailors in the room, but 446 00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,120 you know, something that would often happen, like when? 447 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,440 When? Yeah, yeah, I know. 448 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:41,680 It's silly when there would be enemy ships right coming toward 449 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:44,160 the. Shore of a particular place. 450 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,800 One of the things that would happen in sort of ancient 451 00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:51,640 warfare is, you know, ships. Look for lights to dock. 452 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,200 In a particular place, or to invade in a particular. 453 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:55,920 Place. And so this idea of. 454 00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,000 False fire is sort of that. You know the the defending 455 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,280 forces would set up. Bright lights, torches, fire 456 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,560 that would be visible to ships. From kind of out in the sea to 457 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:12,760 lure them into dangerous. Waters to actually cause 458 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,360 shipwrecks and I think this is a really. 459 00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:18,520 Helpful analogy for what's happening inside of us with 460 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,200 regards to despondency. Because what's happening is, you 461 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,480 know, whatever is on the inside of us is so unclear. 462 00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:27,120 It's so foggy. It's so murky. 463 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:28,960 That we're sort of. Like looking out. 464 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:33,560 There for like where to dock what do we do because all of. 465 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,440 This is so uncertain that I have to find a place where I know I 466 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,080 can kind of guide this thing into safe. 467 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,720 Harbor. And we become really vulnerable 468 00:27:42,320 --> 00:27:46,960 to a kind of. Spiritual or social false fire 469 00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,160 where we see. Passion out there. 470 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,560 We see something out there that we don't see in ourselves. 471 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:54,480 And we just steer this. Thing straight into dangerous 472 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,640 waters the Catholic writer Romano Gardini said that when 473 00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,600 meaning. Collapses power. 474 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,680 Becomes its own justification. Hannah Arendt warned that 475 00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:09,240 loneliness prepares people for totalitarianism. 476 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:15,520 Everyone that studied sort of dangerous movements that happen 477 00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:19,520 out in the world root this stuff in what's going on inside 478 00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:22,560 individual people. And as a result. 479 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:24,520 What's going on in the collective and? 480 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,680 Where we sort of put. That energy when despondency 481 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,880 goes untreated, we become allergic to nuance because the 482 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:36,840 idea of thinking carefully about something consequential is like, 483 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,400 I'm, I'm so confused inside of myself. 484 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,160 There's, I don't have the capacity to to think deeply 485 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:49,120 about this right now and. History is full of these 486 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,960 moments. People are exhausted by war or 487 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,600 poverty. Or any number of things. 488 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,600 And so they turn toward people who promise dignity through 489 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:02,240 domination. There are disillusioned people 490 00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,560 who channel their pain into scapegoating and blaming the 491 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:06,680 other. For the. 492 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,440 Ache that they can't quite name. And the crowd. 493 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:13,760 That's full of. Despondency can't find its 494 00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:17,840 pulse, doesn't know what to think, but it must have 495 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:24,120 something to do with them. And so if we scroll long enough, 496 00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:28,080 we can see all of this stuff happening, like despondency 497 00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:32,040 curdling into nihilism in real time, and people that we know 498 00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:34,600 and love. People trading hope for memes. 499 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:39,080 And listen, I love a good meme. Disillusioned folks finding 500 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:45,480 community in contempt for one another, this kind of 501 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:49,000 scapegoating and finger pointing, it's all animated by 502 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,600 this passion of despondency. And it's not just a passion on 503 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,120 the individual level. It's it gets. 504 00:29:55,120 --> 00:30:00,840 Gathered up and it morphs into ideology when fatigue sort of 505 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:07,560 seeks relief in outrage when. People look for. 506 00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:10,000 An enemy to help them feel alive. 507 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,960 People look for someone else to feel for them because they can't 508 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:17,840 feel anymore. It's an emotional outsourcing on 509 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,000 a. Wide scale. 510 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,720 But remember. I told you that today's. 511 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:29,720 Passage contains some of the only hopeful language in the 512 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:32,520 Book of Lamentations. But. 513 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:36,640 This I call to mind. And therefore I have hope, the 514 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,280 steadfast love. Of the Lord never ceases. 515 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,880 His mercies never come to an end. 516 00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,960 They are new every morning. Gray is your faithfulness. 517 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,440 The Lord is my portion, says my soul. 518 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,720 Therefore I will hope. In him the Lord is. 519 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:51,240 Good to those who wait. For him. 520 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,000 To the soul that seeks. Him. 521 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,680 It is good that one should wait. Quietly for the. 522 00:30:56,680 --> 00:31:05,320 Salvation of the Lord. Without those words, the rest of 523 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,040 this passage. Would identify. 524 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,400 Pretty closely with what we're. Identifying as despondency. 525 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,920 But the truth is. The poet in Lamentations does 526 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:21,280 not find himself in despondency, because there is this turn in 527 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:24,000 the passage. And so when we read these 528 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,480 verses, remember we said this. Is about. 529 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,120 The. Israelite exile to Babylon. 530 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:33,840 The city is still in ruins. Nothing external has changed. 531 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,680 There's no sudden breakthrough, there's no light breaking 532 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:38,880 through. The clouds, the poet. 533 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:42,360 Has not stopped lamenting. They go on for another. 2 534 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,680 chapters. Of lament after this and has 535 00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,600 been painfully honest from the beginning. 536 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:53,520 But what happens? Here is a move from not, not 537 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:59,280 from truth to pretending, but from despair to remembrance. 538 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,280 It's easy to read a passage like. 539 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,280 This and think you know these are just. 540 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,960 Feel good words that this. Person is sort of recounting to 541 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:11,440 to pretend like everything is going to be OK and that's not 542 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,160 the case. This is in the middle of sorrow 543 00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:17,560 yet. The poet refuses to let. 544 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:22,000 Sorrow have the final word. He stays in the ashes and calls 545 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,160 to mind what he cannot yet. See the Steadfast. 546 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,840 Love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies will never come to 547 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,600 an end, and this is what. Faith looks like. 548 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:36,040 Inside of despondency when we find ourselves in that place, 549 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,440 the whole thing that I. Described and it's like, yes, I 550 00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:40,440 check all those. Boxes, at least I do. 551 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,440 I don't know. It's not the denial of pain, 552 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,520 it's the decision to. Face it before God. 553 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,720 The poet doesn't climb out of the situation. 554 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,920 He doesn't. Sort of leave all that. 555 00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,440 Behind him and say I'm pretending like that's not the 556 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,680 case. It's not willpower, it's 557 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:02,280 consenting to let the memory. Of God's love address. 558 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:05,960 The ache that won't go away. It's a. 559 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:06,720 It's a. It's. 560 00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,160 A consent. It's a concession to say I know 561 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,360 these things about God, I've heard them said, and I don't 562 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,240 even find it particularly resonant right now, but I'm 563 00:33:17,240 --> 00:33:20,120 going to call to mind. This truth? 564 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,320 And Lamentations even ends. With the poet's brutally. 565 00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,640 Honest reflection. Are you familiar with the the 566 00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,560 closing words of Lamentations? Restore us to yourself, O Lord. 567 00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:32,480 That we may be restored renew our. 568 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,160 Days as of old, unless you've utterly. 569 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,320 Rejected us and are angry with us beyond measure. 570 00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,920 That's how the book ends. That's the, that's the close. 571 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:49,480 I mean, it's like, wow, OK, but listen, there's hope. 572 00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,400 Not when the world is. Fixed. 573 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,120 But when the poet remembers. That God's love is. 574 00:33:56,120 --> 00:34:00,160 Still moving in the ruins. Of the city that he loved. 575 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,080 It's the smallest act of resurrection to say, even in 576 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:07,760 deep. Sorrow, therefore I will still. 577 00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:10,880 Hope in him and. This is the gospel. 578 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:16,040 Of the Kingdom, friends, this is Jesus Christ that that in Christ 579 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,679 God entered the ruins himself, and in the cross and 580 00:34:19,679 --> 00:34:23,679 resurrection Jesus has broken the power of sin and death and 581 00:34:23,679 --> 00:34:28,440 despair and the future reign of God has already begun to break 582 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,440 into the present, even if that's. 583 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:35,760 Through a weak. Word of remembrance in the 584 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:40,000 middle of sorrow, that's where we find the Kingdom. 585 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,120 And so, if you find yourself overwhelmed by the heaviness of 586 00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:50,560 your soul, hear this good news that the Kingdom is already 587 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:56,360 coming near and even now. The Spirit of Christ is at work. 588 00:34:56,400 --> 00:35:00,440 Within the ache that we feel for ourselves, for our families, for 589 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,560 our world. Bringing life out of death. 590 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:08,000 Bringing meaning out of sorrow and hope out of despondency. 591 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:13,640 The love that raised Jesus. Is already moving in the ruins 592 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:18,520 of our inside life. Of our life together. 593 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,800 And this passage serves as a beautiful reminder just to sort 594 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,760 of call that to mind even as we acknowledge the reality of 595 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,560 what's going on around us. There's a David Lynch film I 596 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:32,120 Know You're. Worried you were like he. 597 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:36,440 Hasn't talked about a movie yet. There's a David Lynch film 598 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:37,800 called. The straight story. 599 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:41,200 Has anybody seen it? The straight story. 600 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,040 It's one of my favorite movies. I love this and I actually 601 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,640 hadn't thought about it in a long time. 602 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:48,080 And then as I was preparing to. Preach this week, I thought. 603 00:35:48,600 --> 00:35:52,800 I'm going to watch that again, and it's based on the true 604 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:57,920 account of Alvin Straight. A 70. 3 year old man who set out 605 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,080 to reconcile with his estranged brother. 606 00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:03,160 He couldn't drive, he couldn't obtain a driver's license 607 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:04,520 because his eyesight was too. Poor. 608 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:11,040 So he hitched a small trailer to a lawn mower and set off from 609 00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:16,760 Lorenz, Iowa to Mount Zion, WI, more than 200 miles away. 610 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:20,920 This is about a 250 mile trip. It took him six weeks going 5 611 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,320 miles an hour. Across back roads. 612 00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:27,520 And cornfields breaking down and being helped by strangers and 613 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,040 then starting again and it was nothing. 614 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,480 Spectacular. It was just slow. 615 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,360 Stubborn. Movement like it is exactly. 616 00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,320 Like it sounds if you just imagine a stubborn old man who 617 00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:44,200 decides he's going to drive 250 miles on his lawn mower. 618 00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:50,680 That's what this story. Is just on its face and what 619 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:52,880 makes it so moving. Is is actually that? 620 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,080 Alvin is not. A heroic figure. 621 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,280 He's old. He's broken, he's full of 622 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,840 regret. He can't stop smoking Swisher 623 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,160 sweets the entire time. You know he's, I mean. 624 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:08,960 The the trailer that he's got. You know has 1 iron chair and 625 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,040 hot dogs. He eats hot dogs for the entire 626 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,160 trip. But. 627 00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:20,160 He's done pretending. He's done pretending like there 628 00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:24,640 isn't something really wrong with his unreconciled 629 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:31,240 relationship with his brother, and he moves at only the pace. 630 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:35,160 That his body. And his 1966 John Deere riding 631 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:39,880 lawnmower can handle sort of like Lamentations. 632 00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:44,440 It's this story about grace. That doesn't come to Alvin 633 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,200 through. Escape or insight, but through. 634 00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:52,440 Facing his demons head on. And I won't spoil the end of the 635 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,160 movie for you, but it's beautiful. 636 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,120 It's one of the most beautiful sort of moments in cinema. 637 00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:00,600 I've actually. I actually feel like I'm about 638 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,760 to cry thinking about it. It's really good guys, you 639 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,960 should watch it. I know I've there are a lot of. 640 00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,040 Movies that I've talked about. From up here that I. 641 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,360 Can't give like a full. Throated endorsement of you know 642 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,840 as. A pastor to say like, go watch 643 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:15,600 that. You should go watch the straight 644 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:21,200 story. So listen again to these words 645 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,400 from the poet. The steadfast love of the Lord 646 00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,560 never ceases. His mercies never come to an 647 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,160 end. They are new every morning. 648 00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:34,080 God's compassion for you is not a mood swing. 649 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:41,560 It's an ecosystem. It's an environment that we can 650 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,000 choose. To live our lives in. 651 00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,880 It's it's the constant background. 652 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,520 Of reality, the love that. Keeps pushing beneath everything 653 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,840 else. If we'll let it. 654 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,360 It's not, you know. Did God wake up? 655 00:38:58,360 --> 00:38:59,760 On the right side of the bed. Today. 656 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,040 And so there are all. Of these ways. 657 00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,280 Silence and lament and honest. Prayer. 658 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,560 Eucharist. Embodied community. 659 00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:18,080 All these tangible reminders that God's kindness is not an 660 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:20,720 idea. It's a body. 661 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,000 That breaks, and it's love. That's poured out for us. 662 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,240 Henry now and once wrote, You must believe in the yes that 663 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,200 comes back from God. Before you hear it. 664 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,640 From any human lips. Faith isn't pretending that 665 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,280 things are fine. It's quietly. 666 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:41,040 Trusting that God's love still holds in the midst. 667 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:44,040 Of your everyday life. Even when you can't feel it. 668 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,040 So that's where the. Healing of despondency begins 669 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,360 and I just want to. Close with. 670 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:56,560 This that if you found yourself identifying with some of these 671 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,520 things and saying I think I might have a little bit of that 672 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,760 going on inside of me. Right here. 673 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,360 In the refusal to pretend about what's actually going on inside 674 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:11,440 of us. Is where the mercy of God? 675 00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:17,240 Comes to us so we'll invite the worship team back up and we'll 676 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:22,040 have folks along the sides to pray and I just. 677 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:25,840 Want to what to propose because a lot. 678 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,200 Of times moving into prayer time. 679 00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:28,440 We think you know this is a moment. 680 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,480 To like get get healed and maybe it is. 681 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,160 That's great. But I want I want to. 682 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:39,080 Just suggest that maybe this. Morning isn't about feeling 683 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:40,520 better. It's about. 684 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:43,560 Getting honest about what's going on. 685 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:47,680 And so if you find that you've been sort of holding it together 686 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:52,120 on the outside, but you're a little numb on the inside, come 687 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,160 and let someone pray with you. If. 688 00:40:55,680 --> 00:41:00,200 You find that God feels distant. Just come, come and name that 689 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,040 before God, before another person. 690 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,240 And if you find. That you're tired of. 691 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:10,760 Performing Wellness. Come and receive prayer. 692 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,000 Just invite you to stand for worship.