1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,960 Welcome everyone to Buying Local. 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,400 I'm your host Mike Nelson from 5 Towers Media. 3 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:10,080 I am joined today by an old friend, great friend Karen 4 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:14,800 Carey, Ruby Red Rd. Karen, I don't know. 5 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:16,800 I know that it's Ruby Red Road, right? 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,120 Yes, it is. But I didn't know if there's 7 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:23,080 like is it like Ruby red Rd. coaching or is it just Ruby red 8 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,680 Rd. Ruby Red Rd. 9 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:28,120 Just Ruby red Rd. OK the easy. 1. 10 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,400 I, I feel like you don't really need an introduction 'cause I, I 11 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,880 almost feel like everyone knows you. 12 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:38,280 But just in case people have not had the pleasure of meeting you 13 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:42,200 out and about in the world, can you just give our audience to 14 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,000 kind of quick who you are and what you do kind of thing? 15 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,840 Should I? No, I'm just kidding. 16 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,280 I have only. If you want to, Karen. 17 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,080 Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm an intuitive life coach. 18 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:59,440 I'm a speaker and an author and I, you know, the simple version 19 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:04,160 is I help people get to know, like and trust themselves so 20 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,800 that the world can know, like and trust them and they can go 21 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,760 from where they are to where they want to be. 22 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,440 So yeah. Yeah. 23 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:19,280 It's, it's just so interesting. It it's funny because I was 24 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,480 skimming back through your book again just to reacquaint myself 25 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,520 with some things that you talked about in it, which is we're 26 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,080 going to talk about your book today, just in case. 27 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,680 Here it is. So we're going to talk about 28 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:37,200 your book, but it's it's an interesting thing about your 29 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:43,440 industry, right? Like it's, there's, I think a 30 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:45,120 lot of good. I, you know, obviously I'm a, a 31 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,440 big personal and professional development, not junkie, 32 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,240 whatever you want it, whatever turn you want to there. 33 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,240 I'm a big believer and a big proponent of it. 34 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:56,960 And but I still, even with that said, Karen, I still have a 35 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,800 tough time sometimes. I think you and I have talked 36 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:03,800 about this with that whole industry, the whole coaching 37 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,960 industry with all of you know, again, you and I have kind of 38 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,400 gone back and forth, but I also know like how great it is. 39 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,640 I know how effective you are. I know you work with a lot of 40 00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:14,280 people. I've worked with you on an app 41 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,720 over the years. I think what you do is amazing 42 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,640 and and effective. I promise there is a question in 43 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:25,120 here somewhere, but you know, it's before we get in talking 44 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:27,120 about the book. And, and what made me think 45 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:34,160 about this is there is sometimes a stigma associated with the 46 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,640 kind of coaching that you do. That's, I would say a negative 47 00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,080 stigma. And I just think that's because 48 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,480 like any, any industry, there's a lot of people that are in it 49 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:44,560 that probably shouldn't be in it and doing it and they kind of 50 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:47,520 give it a bad name. And I know it's a little off 51 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,560 topic, but I just as you're, as you were introducing yourself, 52 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,600 you're using words that sometimes people are like, Oh, 53 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:57,480 that's super woo, you know, and I just so I wanted to kind of 54 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,440 blow that bomb up in the beginning, like. 55 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:03,040 I like that. The blowing the bomb up in the 56 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:04,160 beginning. Yeah. 57 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:09,640 That that's an old Sandler rule. The best way to the best way to 58 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:14,960 defuse a bomb is to blow it up. But I what how do you handle 59 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,120 that? Like, what are your thoughts on 60 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,840 all that, that whole diatribe that just went on about the woo 61 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,760 side of coaching and personal feelings? 62 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:24,440 And I'm just curious of of how you approach that. 63 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:29,800 Yeah, it's interesting because there are so many perspectives 64 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,120 to coaching. So. 65 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,000 Many. So many, so many, right? 66 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,800 And so there's a certain audience out there or, you know, 67 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,440 certain set of people who actually appreciate and want 68 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,960 that sort of intuitive part. Didn't used to have that in my 69 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,360 title but I decided why hide it? Yeah. 70 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,920 No. Why not just say like, yeah, I'm 71 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:58,040 intuitive, I see things, I hear things sometimes, but I'm also 72 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:00,080 just gonna ask you the hard questions. 73 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:04,120 Yeah. I, I, I call it like, I combine 74 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:08,120 the magical and the practical because what used to really 75 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:13,440 frustrate me was I would go to therapy or I would go to 76 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,880 coaching or whatever and it would either be, it would all be 77 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,920 like in one lane. And for me that never worked. 78 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,400 I have to have a relationship with whoever I work with. 79 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,520 I mean, like they have to be a human with me, not a robot who's 80 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:36,360 got some structure that it is a really nice tight box that you 81 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:41,280 can't veer outside of. And I allow that with my clients 82 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:44,960 as well because those are the kind of people that I want to 83 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,240 work with. We can laugh. 84 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:49,600 We can, you know, we swear on occasion if somebody wants to. 85 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:58,960 And I guess how I deal with it is I, I have to deal with it in 86 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:02,960 here first, although I'm not doubting myself. 87 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:08,000 I have spent so much time studying, so many different 88 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,280 kinds of coaching and I still do it. 89 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,880 You know, my current one is, as you know, to get out there and 90 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:18,520 be seen. So, you know, that's my next 91 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:21,840 step, right? Because with a million coaches 92 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:27,840 out there, I feel like the you know, I'm not to use this word 93 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,280 so much, but the know like and trust factor is huge. 94 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:37,160 Now you don't know who is real, who's not, who's like, you know, 95 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:39,440 any good at their job. Do they have a life? 96 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,160 Do they you know what I mean? Are they in the square box or 97 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:46,760 are they outside the box or? Or have they done any of the 98 00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:48,600 work that they're coaching people through? 99 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,520 I you know that's. That's something. 100 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,560 That's something that Bill Tanzi and I had talked about in the 101 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,960 past, you know, 'cause we, again, it's in every industry is 102 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,520 but, but the, the coaching industry I feel like has become 103 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,800 so rife with people that haven't done what they're coaching 104 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,680 people to do. You know, in, in like in Bill's 105 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,000 case, you know, being a part of businesses and implementing 106 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,840 these structures and doing all these things, you know, he, he 107 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,160 has real world application of that knowledge. 108 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:19,360 And, or like in your case, on the life side, you know, and you 109 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,120 know, reading your book, right, like you've been through a lot 110 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:27,520 of stuff in life and been able to overcome it and go through it 111 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:31,520 and sit with it and, and learn lessons from it, which I I think 112 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,520 is great. And and we'll, we'll talk about 113 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,200 the I'm going to say it wrong, Konsugi. 114 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,880 And Suki, good job. Yeah, OK, good. 115 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,040 All right, sweet. So and we'll talk about that. 116 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,280 But it's just, you know, there's just a lot of, I don't want to 117 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,640 say bad coachings. I'm not here to disparage 118 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:51,160 anyone, but there's a lot of coaching that really just only 119 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,600 comes from knowledge and doesn't come from the application of 120 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:59,240 that knowledge. And yeah, so I think that's like 121 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:03,120 the big differentiator, right? Like you practice many of the 122 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,440 things that you preach. And I'm still practicing. 123 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,240 And still practicing. That's what I'm saying, yeah. 124 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:12,800 Like. Practicing right, yes, no, I 125 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,600 love that. I mean I, I think it's an 126 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,840 important part of the conversation and once again, I'm 127 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:22,880 not like some people are built for the box right and they need 128 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:27,040 that for me like it just like turns me right down. 129 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:31,520 I, I just shut down, you know, because it doesn't feel like a 130 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:37,240 human interaction. I mean, I could work with AI for 131 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,000 that, right? Yeah. 132 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,360 I just have AI life coach. Yeah, that that that's, that's 133 00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:45,640 kind of in line with some of the coaches that I'm talking about 134 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,960 is you might as well be talking to AI because it's just 135 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,520 knowledge. It's not application of that 136 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:55,200 knowledge, right? Well, when you when you did your 137 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,280 work, it wasn't in a box. No. 138 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,840 I mean, there's structure, right? 139 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:09,400 There's calling out to do something different, but it's 140 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,760 not a box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 141 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,400 It needs to be fluid, I would imagine. 142 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,960 And again, you know, working with Someone Like You, it's 143 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,080 funny, 'cause I when I was rescanning the book this 144 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,640 morning, I'd say rescanning. I was scanning the book this 145 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,720 morning just to for a couple specific things I wanted to 146 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,320 bring up that I remembered from reading it. 147 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,960 And it was just, it was interesting because there's 148 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:37,600 things in there, especially specifically in the in the, what 149 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,760 is it Part 3 of the book, the later part where you're starting 150 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,360 to get people like here's the things that you do. 151 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,360 Yeah. That were sounded really 152 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,320 uncomfortable to me. Yeah, I bet they are. 153 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:55,360 And I was like, oh, like I started to think about it and it 154 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,200 was so uncomfortable. Like I didn't want to think 155 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,360 about it. I think I'm just going to move 156 00:08:58,360 --> 00:08:59,640 on now. And I was like, wow. 157 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:04,720 But interesting in that that's typically that's where the work 158 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,560 is, right? Like the parts that are making 159 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,000 you uncomfortable, the parts that you're kind of hearing. 160 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,680 And like to me, I hear things that sound woo sometimes. 161 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:15,040 And I'm like. That silly, right? 162 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,440 I want to do any of that shit and then, but realistically it's 163 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:22,040 I'm probably immediately turned off by it because it is the work 164 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,840 that I really need to do and I don't want to do it because it's 165 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,960 going to be the more uncomfortable stuff, which is 166 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,080 probably why I haven't done it yet. 167 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,560 So anyway, I just wanted to ask you about that because it was 168 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:34,880 something that struck me this morning. 169 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,800 And then when again, when you're introducing yourself. 170 00:09:36,800 --> 00:09:40,200 So, so let's talk about your book. 171 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:43,560 Well, I wait a minute. I feel like you've you've done 172 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:46,960 some uncomfortable work. Some of it, not all of it 173 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,440 though. Well, you know, I'm always going 174 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:54,640 to challenge people to do the deeper work because I feel like 175 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,560 that's when we really get to like, transform. 176 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:02,240 But transform to what? Like, you know what I mean? 177 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:06,360 Like we, we don't want to just do the deep work and then just 178 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,520 be left with that. Right. 179 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:13,920 Yeah, there has to be a purpose and meaning to it for people or 180 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:18,840 what's the point? Maybe not once again, maybe not. 181 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:23,000 Everybody's built for that. I I started so young, like, 182 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:28,280 like, you know, from the book, like, like so fascinated with 183 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,920 people. Like I've been obsessed with who 184 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:34,280 people are, what they do, how they do it, why they're doing 185 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:38,480 it, why they gossiping, What are they, you know, so young with me 186 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:41,440 that I mean, this has been my entire life. 187 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,480 Yeah. Inside and out. 188 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:50,200 Yeah. So much so much to unpack on 189 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,280 this, Karen. I so in that you talk about 190 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:56,960 doing work like one of the things that also I continually 191 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,520 think about, and I was thinking about this morning as I was 192 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:02,160 going through some of the stuff in your book and I was like, 193 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:08,200 man, like I've been, I mean, a lot of people have been doing so 194 00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:13,280 much introspection, personal work, going through coaching, 195 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,640 going to whatever they're doing, going to yoga, whatever it is. 196 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,040 And it's like, and I was asking myself the question this 197 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,560 morning, like, do you have to revisit some of that stuff? 198 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,680 You know, 'cause like you talk a lot about patterns, right? 199 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,480 And in your book you, you specifically touch on patterns, 200 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,960 right? Like at the end of each chapter 201 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,600 you have the, I forget what the first part is, the story, maybe 202 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,240 the story that you're telling yourself, and then the pattern 203 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,960 and then. What I the story I told myself, 204 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:47,920 the pattern and the gold. The gold, yes, which I guess 205 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:51,760 we'll have to define the Kunsigi I I don't know why I have such a 206 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:52,720 some time saying it. Oh. 207 00:11:53,160 --> 00:12:01,800 You're doing it KINKINT kinsugi. Kinsugi So I'll have to explain 208 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,360 that to people so you can understand that. 209 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:08,120 But but in that though, I just, I kept thinking like there's 210 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,640 patterns in my life that I thought I had overcome years 211 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,400 ago. And then they reared their ugly 212 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,760 heads up and all of a sudden I realized I'm in the middle of 213 00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,520 one. I'm like, how did this come 214 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:17,880 back? I thought I'd, I thought I did 215 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:19,280 this already. I thought, I thought, I thought 216 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:23,680 we were done with that, right. So I, I'm interested to get into 217 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:26,880 that with you a little bit. So, and I know that you and I 218 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,080 are going to go off on some tangents. 219 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:37,720 So let let's back up Karen, OK? And let's let's define Kinsugi. 220 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,160 I don't know why I have such a tough time with that. 221 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:40,600 Doing good. A lot of people do. 222 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,200 It's not just you. OK, good. 223 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,480 Thank you. So most, most people know what 224 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:48,720 it is or I've heard it or heard of it before, where you've got a 225 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,720 beautiful plate or a vase or something and it falls and 226 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:56,160 breaks into all these beautiful, beautiful, terrible pieces. 227 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,400 And then you put it back together with gold inlay and it 228 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,360 becomes a a more beautiful work of art. 229 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:09,000 So that's the whole premise of the book is, you know, we have 230 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:15,840 lives. We there is as hard as this is 231 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:22,400 to believe sometimes there is gold within every experience 232 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:26,360 we've ever had. It doesn't mean we want to live 233 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,360 it again. It doesn't mean, you know, the 234 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,560 trauma. Maybe it's there, maybe it's 235 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:35,440 not, but there's something to learn from. 236 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:40,080 I don't mean like sometimes when I when I use the word learn or 237 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:45,160 people use the word lesson or learn, it's like a negative 238 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,320 connotation. Yeah, lesson learned. 239 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,200 Yeah. And I don't like that. 240 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,920 I feel like it's more of I've had this experience, I 241 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,680 understand myself better, I understand my patterns better, I 242 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:04,840 understand where they came from better and they're gonna come 243 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,520 back. But I know when they come back 244 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,840 for me, it's because there's something I'm not saying or 245 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,800 something I'm not doing. OK. 246 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,280 Makes sense? Yeah. 247 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,120 Yeah, it does. Right. 248 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,240 There's the things that that we don't handle. 249 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:26,400 And so maybe we want to avoid it, or we've always been good 250 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,840 at, or we get angry or, you know, whatever The thing is that 251 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,280 we have, that we carry around. That's our pattern. 252 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:39,760 We'll come back and if we're paying attention, like you said, 253 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:41,920 we'll notice it. Yeah. 254 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:46,880 We can say, oh. It's doing it again. 255 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,680 OK, what am I not saying? What am I doing and not doing? 256 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,320 What is going on here? Not so. 257 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,080 I mean, we're not, it's not like fixing ourselves, right? 258 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:02,280 It's like we're humans. We're going to be, we're going 259 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,960 to have these things happen for our entire life pretty much. 260 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,000 Unless you're, you know, some kind of monk or, you know, maybe 261 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,240 they don't have it. But I think sometimes they have 262 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:15,440 a little stuff too. We're not sitting on the 263 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,240 mountain in a in a ashram or anything. 264 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:23,040 We are here in life with people around us, family and triggers. 265 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:27,360 And so it's really about learning how to be kind to 266 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,840 yourself and also embracing the goal within each experience. 267 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:34,280 Yeah. I thought that was interesting 268 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:38,000 how you did that at the. I want to say it was, was it in 269 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:41,160 the second part of the book that where you're closing each like 270 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:46,240 chapter with those three things? Yeah. 271 00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,200 So I thought that was really interesting to be able to take a 272 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:52,440 look at all these experiences that are defining us in one way 273 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,520 or another, it sounds like, right. 274 00:15:55,760 --> 00:16:00,080 And then being able to see what happened, like the story you're 275 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:01,680 telling yourself about what happened. 276 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,920 And then the is it. Would you say it's the 277 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:09,120 underlying pattern? Yeah. 278 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,960 And would you say that it's the pattern that's being built 279 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,000 because of the story you're telling yourself, or is it 280 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,160 you're telling yourself the story because of the pattern? 281 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:22,800 I feel like the the story comes from the experience that you've 282 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:26,440 had. And then to feel safe, we build 283 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:33,280 this pattern around us. Be like, you know, always, you 284 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:39,600 know, hiding or maybe, you know, getting just being really good 285 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,960 at sports or, you know, like dressing really sexy or you 286 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,440 know, you know, people have different thing, different ways 287 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,680 of staying safe. And you wouldn't believe how 288 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:55,480 some people do it right? And staying safe means I don't 289 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:58,400 want to have that experience again and I don't want to think 290 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,520 about it or know about it. So I'm going to do something 291 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,839 else that replaces that it's. Interesting. 292 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,119 And so like an easy example. And that's going to be like 293 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,599 drugs or alcohol, right? Like people are feeling a 294 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,040 certain way, they turn to drugs and alcohol numbs them or 295 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,200 whatever they get from it, right? 296 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,680 Absolutely. You know that's an example, 297 00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,880 right? Yeah. 298 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:24,440 What do you think are like some subtle things that people don't 299 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:30,000 realize that they have patterns? Well, I'll just talk about 300 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:39,000 myself. So for me, I, it was safe. 301 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,120 I was always safest if I was sick. 302 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:50,560 So I spent my life with like migraines and you know, just, I 303 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:55,520 don't, I didn't want them. I didn't know that's what I was 304 00:17:55,520 --> 00:18:00,000 doing that but that was developed so young that it was 305 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,480 safer to be sick than to not be sick. 306 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:06,120 That that sort of carried with me through my life. 307 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,600 Does that make sense? Well, it does. 308 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,480 I mean, I'm thinking about that part in the book when you talk 309 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,560 about that a little bit, a little bit about going to the 310 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,720 hospital and the care that you're giving. 311 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:20,080 And it just made you feel really you had these caregivers around 312 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,840 you and being nice to you and you know the whole thing. 313 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:28,080 And so because of that, you developed this pattern that was 314 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,320 like, if I'm always sick, that means people are going to want 315 00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:33,000 to take care of me and give me love and make me feel good. 316 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:36,520 Yeah, and. If I have that right. 317 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:41,960 No, I mean, yeah, it was a way to stay like, and then there's a 318 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,480 little bit more to it. Like if I was sick, there was no 319 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,240 violence happening in my room, right? 320 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,360 And so and then I go to the hospital and and I'm really 321 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,720 being taken care of. So get that, put that 322 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,920 combination together and you've got like, oh, it's better to be 323 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,520 sick than not. Yeah. 324 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:09,360 Better to not have fun, Better to be small and insignificant, 325 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,720 Better to be, you know, blah. What are some other things? 326 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,160 Yeah, that's interesting, 'cause you had mentioned in the book as 327 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,960 well about fun specifically. I'd love to hear a little bit 328 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,280 more about that. I mean, you talk about it in the 329 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:27,000 book, but it's like where you were basically that fun was the 330 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,800 new F word, right? Like that's the and you were 331 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,440 like being told that you needed to have have fun, which is wild 332 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:38,800 because I don't think that anyone would think that they 333 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,760 don't have fun. But I guess a lot of people 334 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,320 don't, right? Right. 335 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:46,760 Because there's this like, you know, I can be too. 336 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:49,240 You know me, I can be too big sometimes, right? 337 00:19:50,080 --> 00:19:52,120 I can get. I mean, I don't think so, but. 338 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,760 Get a really loud laugh sometimes, you know my voice 339 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,280 when I get excited and passionate like whoa, you know? 340 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:07,080 And I was kind of like that, but I didn't think like, it was kind 341 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,760 of unacceptable at the time. I was thinking for people to be 342 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:19,200 like that. So, yeah, I mean that I go to 343 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:22,440 this reading and you know, and she's on the phone and she's 344 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,720 like, oh, I'm hearing like your she said your guides are really 345 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:27,760 funny. And I was like, yeah, what they 346 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,840 saying she's like, you need to practice the new F word. 347 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,040 And I was like, what's that? She said fun. 348 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:39,520 And I was like, oh, OK, you know, and I didn't really ever 349 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,720 put together that I wasn't having fun. 350 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:50,280 I have always worked sick and work sick and work sick and 351 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:55,240 work, you know, because what else is there to do, right? 352 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:57,440 Take a vacation, you know, now and again. 353 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:04,960 But you know what's fun? You know, so yeah, yeah, I. 354 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,360 Mean, I mean, you know, my thoughts on those things. 355 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,560 We talk about it often enough, but you know, like I'm like 356 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:12,400 vacation. That sounds terrible. 357 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,080 Got to. I got to work all the time. 358 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,360 And then of course, the second one, and you notice in the book 359 00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:23,520 where she says, I mean, when I got it the second time, which 360 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,680 was I don't know how much later, a couple of years, or I was 361 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,720 like, I sit down. She's the first thing she says 362 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,920 out of her mouth. And I'm at the Mind Body Soul 363 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,280 Expo here and I have a table and I got a few minutes. 364 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:43,200 So I go over and I sit down. She's like all work and no play 365 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,520 make Karen a dull girl. Yeah. 366 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,120 Like what? How is this possible? 367 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:55,400 I'm having fun, aren't I? But then I have to ask myself, 368 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:57,080 like who am I being in this world? 369 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,840 Like so serious and taking I can be an over thinker. 370 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:10,760 So that's why I meditate a lot. I read like, you know, the, the 371 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,600 books that teach me how to get my system to settle down. 372 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,280 Like if I'm having a, if I'm doing a speaking engagement, 373 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,760 like I can be awake for, I remember one times I, one time I 374 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,880 didn't sleep for like 3 weeks, you know, but that was in the 375 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:30,600 beginning of doing some speaking and it was a bigger crowd for 376 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,760 the first time. It was like a couple 100 people 377 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,240 as opposed to 10 or 12 people, you know. 378 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,720 But even still, I have to like keep my nervous system like in 379 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:47,240 check when I no matter what I'm doing, which means yoga for me, 380 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:54,280 something called NIA, which is a dance choreographed, you know, 381 00:22:54,280 --> 00:23:00,520 great, you know, nice thing. You know I have to do the things 382 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,680 and sometimes I don't. I get AI don't wanna mode. 383 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,760 Yeah, I know that mode very well. 384 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:09,320 Yeah. Do you ever feel like that? 385 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,480 Like I just don't want to. And then I go for like. 386 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,600 Ever feel like it? I feel like that almost all day, 387 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,120 every day. Yeah, right. 388 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,160 I'm like, yeah, like I want to do this right now, but I have to 389 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,360 do it. Exactly. 390 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:26,560 Like, and for me, it's like the stuff of like, like meditating 391 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,120 or something I just don't wanna do. 392 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:30,800 I don't feel like it today. Like, why don't I feel like it? 393 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,680 You know, it's just getting me and my body and settled down and 394 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,240 relaxing and, you know, and then I can step into the day properly 395 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:45,480 and, yeah, silly. So, so when you're putting the 396 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,920 book together, Karen, like what was that process like for you? 397 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:57,240 For me, it was quite an extraordinary process because as 398 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:02,000 you know, the stuff that I talk about is old and deep and very, 399 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:07,400 very traumatizing. Very personal just to say that 400 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,760 for the audience, right? Like. 401 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,600 Very personal. You're sharing very personal 402 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,680 things with in your book that I think probably a lot of people. 403 00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:19,120 I mean, I've known you for, I don't know, almost 20 years now. 404 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,720 So some of that stuff I knew, but there's a lot of stuff in 405 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,880 there I did I never heard before from you. 406 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:31,280 So it's and very personal stuff. Yeah, and the, and The thing is, 407 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:36,600 is my intention wasn't for people to really know about me, 408 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:41,960 but that it would provide a way for them to understand 409 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:46,320 themselves. And in order to do that, I felt 410 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:51,000 like I needed to actually. I always feel like people aren't 411 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:55,760 real enough sometimes in books sometimes, 'cause I know I've 412 00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:59,760 worked with a lot of people in my life and they got shit going 413 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:04,880 on and it looks like these perfect lives and these perfect, 414 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,520 everything's perfect and no, things are not perfect, but 415 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,480 that's OK, right? It's not supposed to be perfect, 416 00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:16,160 but I always feel like I, I felt like it would open a door to 417 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:21,280 people for people to be able to just, you know, look at their 418 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:26,480 life differently, maybe give them a little bit of space to 419 00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:29,520 explore. Like, what are my, I wonder what 420 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:34,960 my patterns are, you know, I wonder, you know, is there gold 421 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,080 in there? I don't think so, you know, but 422 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:42,840 ultimately there is. And it was a long process, but 423 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,760 it was a good one. All right, I'm just writing down 424 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,600 a question here. I want to make sure I, I asked 425 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:54,680 you before we before we end today, which is not yet, 426 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,240 obviously, but sorry, just want to make sure I wrote that down. 427 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:02,520 So don't forget it. So you're going through this 428 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,960 process, you're writing this book, you're sharing a lot of 429 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:11,040 personal stuff. I'm curious to know, like, you 430 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,120 know, you're, you're being very vulnerable. 431 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:15,920 I'm putting all this stuff down on paper. 432 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,800 How many times do you think 'cause I'm assuming this 433 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,800 happened, how many times do you think you're like, no, I can't 434 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,440 share that or I probably shouldn't put that in there? 435 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,520 Yeah, I mean it. I mean, there is nothing spared 436 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,920 in this book. Yeah. 437 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:36,600 Right. Yeah, there's a lot in there. 438 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,680 What I thought about most, Mike, honestly, is my children. 439 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,240 Is what I'm sorry you cut out there. 440 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,280 Sorry, my children. OK. 441 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:55,400 I thought, what would it what would it be like for them to 442 00:26:55,400 --> 00:27:01,840 read this and will it harm them in any way? 443 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:06,560 I don't think they've actually read it, but I've read a couple 444 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:14,040 chapters to them and the feedback was from my daughters, 445 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,720 at least my son was like, you know, they read it. 446 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,720 He and his wife read it together and they're they did good. 447 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:29,000 The feedback from them, which encouraged me by what they said 448 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:36,520 to move forward, was that a lot of books are just like theory. 449 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:43,120 And this is not a book that's about theory, it's the whole 450 00:27:43,120 --> 00:27:48,120 picture as a just a drop of it. Does that make sense? 451 00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,280 No, it does make sense. I mean, I've read it, so I had 452 00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,920 the context of what you're talking about, right? 453 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,000 So. Yeah, but it was, you know, 454 00:27:56,000 --> 00:28:01,520 well, it was my my inner children gave me a lot of 455 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,040 migraines. Let's just say that. 456 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:06,280 I bet. Even though I don't have them 457 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,400 anymore. So I was like, no, we're going 458 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,880 to finish this. That's it's going to happen. 459 00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,560 I don't care if I have a migraine every day. 460 00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:21,120 Let's gather around and do this and make it happen. 461 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:26,440 And so I did. And, you know, there were some 462 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,320 mishaps along the way, as you know, and. 463 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:31,920 I mean, yeah, right. Putting a book together, 464 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,760 especially 1 like this, is not always, you know, an easy 465 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,400 process for sure. Yeah. 466 00:28:37,120 --> 00:28:44,720 Exactly was it was good though. It was a actually a a healing 467 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,120 process for me as well. Yeah. 468 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,560 And I could have just never put the book out there and it still 469 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:54,360 would have been healing for me. Just writing it down. 470 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,240 Just writing it down and going through that process of, you 471 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,120 know, the story I told myself, the the pattern so old, you 472 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:08,160 know, that that in itself is revealing even to me. 473 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,960 Well, you talk about that in the book too, like as kind of one of 474 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,880 the things to do to help identify these patterns, right, 475 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:20,120 is to start writing things down, which I thought was interesting 476 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:22,320 because it's like, oh, I was like, oh, I was like, so she 477 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:26,480 literally was, I know that you do this stuff all the time with 478 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,880 people that you work with. But also, like the act of 479 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,600 writing this book was this, I don't know, I don't know, 480 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:35,480 cathartic process of being able to get these things out and look 481 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:39,600 at them and did. Did you find as you were going, 482 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:44,360 as you were doing that process, that you learned new lessons or 483 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:48,320 found new gold, so to speak, in some of these experiences that 484 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,720 you hadn't previously identified? 485 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:54,200 I I believe so, because I hadn't really thought about it in that 486 00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:56,240 way. I didn't intend to write this 487 00:29:56,240 --> 00:30:02,200 book this way. It just sort of came about and 488 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,880 that's not how most people write. 489 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,400 But this, you know, the the pattern and the, you know, all 490 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:13,320 of that just happened in one after I wrote one thing. 491 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:17,240 And I guess it's because of my first experience just, you know, 492 00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:23,320 made the really created these patterns of like just loving 493 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:27,000 humans. Like, what are they doing hiding 494 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:28,840 in the closet, listening to the gossip? 495 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,360 I am so sorry. I did not need for that to 496 00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:32,160 happen. Can you hear it? 497 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:35,280 Can't hear it. Oh, all right, never mind. 498 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:39,840 I'm not sorry The. The the zoom background noise 499 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,080 cancellation is pretty good, so. Lovely, yes. 500 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:51,480 So, yeah. So it was really, some of the 501 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:54,760 things were eye opening to me. I didn't realize I knew the 502 00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:59,440 impact the nurses had on me, but writing about it was different, 503 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:03,640 almost like a tribute to them, you know, And I've talked about 504 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,200 it in other ways before, but I don't know, it just sort of 505 00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:11,720 really defined it. And then the like the, the 506 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:15,600 guidance counselor who said I had a high IQ, right? 507 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,720 I mean, that was always in the background for me. 508 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:20,120 And it made me feel like I at least had half a brain. 509 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:28,160 But writing about it once again, like, sort of like it freed 510 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:29,760 things for me. That's what it did. 511 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,760 I didn't have to. When we're no longer, it's not 512 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:39,480 like walking behind us all the time, like saying I'm here, I'm 513 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:43,160 here, let's be safe, let's not do this, let's not do that. 514 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,280 It it's a new perspective. It opens a door to like looking 515 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,640 at things differently. Yeah, yeah. 516 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,240 Kind of like re examine it in a different, different light. 517 00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,080 It's weird what happens when you write things down. 518 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,560 Yeah, I've been writing dead, so yeah. 519 00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,480 Well, and that was, you know, that was one of the questions 520 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,480 that I, I was writing down while you're talking was like, now, I 521 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:08,920 mean, I again, I've known you for a long time. 522 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,080 I know that you have always done a lot of work in different 523 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:17,960 realms and modalities and been exploring your life and your 524 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,640 past from all different points of view and directions. 525 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:25,040 And so I it's, and, but like you said in the beginning, like 526 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:29,920 you're still doing work, right? And I'm my question about all 527 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,240 that is, you know, well, it's kind of A2 parter, right? 528 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:38,080 It's #1 is like, do all people have patterns all the time that 529 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:41,960 they're operating? And then the other part of that 530 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:46,200 question is like, how do you revisit these patterns? 531 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,280 If, if you do have patterns all the time, like how do you 532 00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,320 identify them? How do you figure out which 533 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,520 patterns are good and bad and what you should work on? 534 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,680 Yeah. I mean, that's a really good 535 00:32:54,680 --> 00:33:05,000 question. I I perceive that we do all have 536 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:10,440 patterns. However, some they're different 537 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:13,840 for everyone. Some people maybe it's spending 538 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:18,600 too much money or you know, for another person it's drugs and 539 00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,960 alcohol. For another person, maybe it's 540 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,800 they go from relationship to relationship to relationship 541 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,800 because they don't feel worthy or something. 542 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:40,320 But sometimes what happens is OK. 543 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,840 This is what I used to say to people all the time. 544 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,040 When you get sick enough of yourself, you would change. 545 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:51,480 It's when we get sick of the same old experience over and 546 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:57,520 over and over again, something inside of us can wake up and 547 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:05,760 say, oh, ah yes, here I go again, rejecting this beautiful 548 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:10,280 human 'cause I'd rather stay in with this abusive person, or 549 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,400 because I'm not worthy of something better or, you know, 550 00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:17,400 who knows, right? There's always different, so 551 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,840 many different versions of this and everybody has their own. 552 00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,600 Or I'm angry cause, you know, I didn't get what I wanted. 553 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:31,920 Or, you know, who knows, right? And then it's what kind of 554 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:37,760 steals our life energy from us and it can stop us from being 555 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,320 present. I know I said my word. 556 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,199 Yeah, I told you earlier my word for this year's presence. 557 00:34:42,199 --> 00:34:45,840 But that's all the distractions everywhere. 558 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,920 You. Know between all of the 559 00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:54,719 technology and everything else. So to be more intentional about 560 00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:59,920 that, but when people can start being more, once you notice, you 561 00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:05,520 can't not notice ultimately. The patterns you're saying once 562 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,400 you notice them, yeah. Once you notice them, it's like 563 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:14,920 oh, and then am I? Oh, there it is again. 564 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:19,080 Oh OK, do I want to do this different or not? 565 00:35:21,040 --> 00:35:23,800 I encourage people to set their intentions. 566 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:30,720 Not like because studying things and trying to fix yourself all 567 00:35:30,720 --> 00:35:36,120 the time, all it does is make us feel broken or confused or 568 00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,880 confused. Well, you know, when you're as 569 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:41,720 much a mess as like I am, I'm like, Oh my God, like what's the 570 00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,480 what do I work on today? I got so many things I got to 571 00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,520 work on. Right, exactly. 572 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,040 And so and, and you're one of the best people I know, so stop 573 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:54,320 saying that. I was fishing there. 574 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,800 I did it, you know, I was trying to say nice things about me. 575 00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:05,400 Yeah, because you as soon as we start making all it all, making 576 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:10,840 ourselves wrong all the time does is feed the wrong right. 577 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:13,920 And so then we're we're always feeling like there's something 578 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,680 wrong with us. So we're always searching for 579 00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,760 something new. And oh, maybe if I go to this 580 00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:21,680 person, that'll fix it. And the truth is we have to 581 00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:28,280 learn how to sit with our feelings and let them let our 582 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,680 body know and our mind know that we're safe. 583 00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:37,880 Nobody's coming to get you. Nobody's, you know, and when, 584 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,520 when we have those feelings and we can't quite release them, 585 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,960 maybe we need to have a, you know, I mean, it's not bad to 586 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,920 have a coach or a therapist or things like that. 587 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,960 I just want people to remember like, don't make yourself wrong. 588 00:36:51,720 --> 00:36:54,520 Don't spend your life making yourself wrong because that's so 589 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,000 sad. And. 590 00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:02,480 It just keeps it going and I know that's hard to do. 591 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:11,080 So with regards to the book you're writing, this book, 592 00:37:11,240 --> 00:37:16,240 you're sharing lots of personal stuff, some of the trauma and 593 00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:22,640 tragedy, you know, some of them are it, you know, just wild to 594 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,120 me that any human should experience some of those things. 595 00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:26,400 Karen I. Know but. 596 00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,360 What's that? Yeah, it's crazy. 597 00:37:31,920 --> 00:37:36,680 Yeah, it's wild. And when you're writing this 598 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,240 book and you're putting this stuff together and you're 599 00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:44,800 talking about some of the ways that you have found to, I don't 600 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,840 want to say cope because that's not the right word. 601 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,840 Cope doesn't sound like overcoming or triumph, you know, 602 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,880 it's like, but the ways that you've been able to improve your 603 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:59,720 life when you are writing this, like who are you writing this 604 00:37:59,720 --> 00:38:04,160 book for, I guess. Yeah, I think it's for for 605 00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:10,440 people who are sick, kind of sick of themselves and the 606 00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:14,200 predicaments they put themselves in without knowing it. 607 00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:20,640 They've maybe oftentimes they've done the therapy, they've had 608 00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,840 coaches, they've done this, they've done that, but their 609 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:30,800 self worth is still quite not there or their feelings of 610 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,080 confidence or, you know, they feel like something's still 611 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:37,280 missing. And sometimes that has to do 612 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:42,400 with just going a little deeper and digging a little deeper. 613 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:52,640 And also like, I'm not afraid to give people language to use, you 614 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,200 know, when they're, they've got to have a hard conversation, 615 00:38:56,680 --> 00:38:59,680 whether it's a business owner that's working with an employee 616 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:04,440 or a, you know, employee that's working with a, with an owner or 617 00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,720 it's their partner or it's their children or whatever. 618 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:15,320 Sometimes we need some words that just help us to go, Oh, 619 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,960 right, I don't have to go like this. 620 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:25,320 If you'd stop doing this or I'm this or and instead of saying 621 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:32,520 so, what I'm noticing is or, you know, whatever, right, you know, 622 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:36,040 start with why or for me, you know, when it's with people that 623 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:39,720 you're really close to a business, you know as well, 624 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:44,880 mostly, but that feels like something that's really 625 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:49,000 important that people don't know how to have that next level 626 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:53,440 communication. You know how many people not 627 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:57,360 over the last few years that I would ask them because 628 00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:00,760 occasionally I would work with people that are having really 629 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:06,680 complicated relationships and whether it was the couple or the 630 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:13,640 OR the one of the individuals in the in the conversation, I would 631 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,760 say, do you would you rather have? 632 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,720 Just get a divorce and have no conversation or have a 633 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,640 conversation and then work your way through it. 634 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:27,920 They would almost always say I'd rather just get a divorce than 635 00:40:27,920 --> 00:40:33,160 have the conversation, which is maybe we have more tools now. 636 00:40:33,160 --> 00:40:37,480 I'm just talking, you know, I've been coaching for what, 1718 637 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,240 years, something like that. First few years that was more 638 00:40:41,240 --> 00:40:43,400 common. I think we have more tools now 639 00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:47,600 with podcasts and, you know, friends and coaches and things 640 00:40:47,600 --> 00:40:51,000 like that. But sometimes people just can't 641 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,200 they they cannot have a conversation. 642 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:56,840 Yeah. Communication's hard. 643 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:04,760 It can be, can be, especially I you've heard of reflective 644 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,680 listening. I think only through you, but 645 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:10,760 please for our listeners, please describe it. 646 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,360 It's just a really good, speaking from personal 647 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:18,520 experience, yeah, really good tool to use. 648 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:23,960 I yeah, we went to this imago therapist at one point in time. 649 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,080 You know, Kevin and I are the most happy couple on the planet 650 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,360 and we've had our moments, right? 651 00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:32,520 And we were both willing to like, oh, let's let's look at 652 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,280 this picture. We had sort of this pattern that 653 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,240 was happening at one point in time. 654 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:41,120 And. And so I learned reflective 655 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:46,600 listening and it's basically, and, and let me just tell you, a 656 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,440 lot of people get triggered by this. 657 00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:52,360 What I'm hearing you say, you don't have to word it exactly 658 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:56,800 like that, but it does help. So you say, listen, is there 659 00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,400 something going on here? Is there, you know, in the 660 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:02,920 person, you know, they're mad or whatever and they say blah, 661 00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:04,840 blah, blah. And you say, oh, what I'm what 662 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:07,400 I'm hearing you say is this, did I get it? 663 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,800 And then you go on to they said the next thing. 664 00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:16,720 And sometimes people just need to be heard, honest to God, like 665 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:22,160 they need to say what they need to say without us defending, 666 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,160 without us. I mean, defensiveness was my 667 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,760 yeah, I was really good at that. That that was your superpower. 668 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,600 That was my superpower. Oh yeah, baby. 669 00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:36,360 So it just changes the whole conversation. 670 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,800 And some couples, you know, aren't meant to stay together, 671 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:44,520 but some are. And then we just get in the next 672 00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,120 relationship and that same exact thing happens, only it's a 673 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:51,160 different flavor. Like it's vanilla ice cream, you 674 00:42:51,160 --> 00:42:53,520 know, that's the, you know what holds it. 675 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,880 But then one's got chocolate chips and one's got caramel 676 00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,080 swirls, you know? But it's same pattern. 677 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:03,840 Same pattern, yeah. Yeah. 678 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,920 So would you say that a lot of the work that you're doing with 679 00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:12,520 your clients is to recognize or identify the patterns and then 680 00:43:13,120 --> 00:43:15,600 help them find tools to deal with those patterns? 681 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,040 Absolutely. Like, are the are the patterns 682 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:23,880 inherently bad? Or is it just that the the 683 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,800 pattern itself and the result that you typically get from it 684 00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,360 are always the same and so you're looking to change it? 685 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,000 Well, it depends on how damaging the pattern is. 686 00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,200 OK. Like a pattern could be as 687 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:41,480 simple as like, oh, when I, when I, you know, notice something, I 688 00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:45,800 just go for a walk. It's a great pattern, right? 689 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,280 How many people learn that when they're kids? 690 00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:53,840 It's all about our childhood? Honestly, it's and it's not like 691 00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,440 I want it to be about our childhood. 692 00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:56,840 It's just the. Right. 693 00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:00,880 It just is, yeah. Not like, you know, I'm not 694 00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:03,720 saying, oh, if you had a great childhood, good. 695 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:08,000 I love that. You know the pattern. 696 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,400 You were too well taken care of and now you just want to be 697 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:15,240 taken care of and you get fired from jobs because you don't you 698 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:16,640 know, you don't really know how to work. 699 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,920 And you know, unlike me, who had to make dinners and do the 700 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,160 dishes and take care of my younger brother and sister. 701 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:26,400 And you know, like all this, you know, now I'm, I'm like 702 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:30,800 ridiculously hyper independent, which doesn't serve me. 703 00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:36,160 And I'm it's a practice for me. It's a practice, yeah. 704 00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:48,360 F word and the R word receding. Yes, it's it's. 705 00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:50,000 Interesting. That comes back and it's really 706 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,440 funny too that you that you're mentioning that because when I 707 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:57,320 was going back through the book and looking at stuff and like 708 00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:00,840 one of the exercises you have to do was like write your childhood 709 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:05,160 self a letter. And I was just like, Oh no, I 710 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,440 don't want to do that. So I was like, oh shit, that's 711 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,240 probably, there's probably something there I should 712 00:45:10,240 --> 00:45:14,000 probably investigate, should probably take a look at, but I 713 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:18,520 don't want to, Karen. What the is, is are you, are you 714 00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,480 happy? I know you've got, you're a, you 715 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:23,320 have, I think a pretty good life. 716 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:24,680 Yeah. We have things that we're 717 00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:27,440 working on, all of us, right? Yeah, everybody does. 718 00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,760 And it's OK not to write yourself a letter, but if 719 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,600 there's things that are still lingering, I feel it like it is 720 00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:42,400 so beneficial. Like nobody's ever, you know, 721 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:45,000 it's not like somebody said to me along the way, God, you're 722 00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:50,320 look at you, you're taking care of this, that, that, that you're 723 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:53,160 in and out of the hospital. You're, you're this, you're 724 00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,320 that. Let's, Oh my goodness, what a 725 00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:58,960 good job. No one you know. 726 00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:03,200 So sometimes I know I talk about inner children, but it's our 727 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,160 childhood, right? Yeah. 728 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:10,960 I mean, I still have one of them that kind of wants to sit over 729 00:46:10,960 --> 00:46:12,320 in the corner. She's a teenager. 730 00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:15,240 She's like, what? Can we just not do this anymore? 731 00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:17,640 You know? And once in a while, I have to 732 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:19,680 say, come on, like, let's have some fun. 733 00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:22,120 She's the one who doesn't want to have fun because it's not 734 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:23,680 safe. Right. 735 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,920 You know, so does that make sense how I'm saying it? 736 00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,640 Did I even answer your question that time? 737 00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:30,800 No, it does to me. Yes, it, it does to me. 738 00:46:30,800 --> 00:46:32,880 And, and again, I, you know, well, you mentioned the inner 739 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:35,760 child stuff. I think it's fascinating, you 740 00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,920 know, there's, what is it, Doctor Burns transactional 741 00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:42,440 analysis from like the 1960s and they talk a lot about inner 742 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,560 child and natural child and all that stuff. 743 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,640 And it's, it's fascinating to see how that stuff actually 744 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,720 shows up in your day-to-day, whether it's your personality or 745 00:46:52,720 --> 00:46:55,960 how you do things or what you do and why you do it. 746 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,560 And it's really interesting stuff. 747 00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:03,040 And it's, yeah, not to go up on a big tangent on that, but. 748 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:05,200 No, it is. It's interesting. 749 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,680 And fascinating that it's a thing and that it, you know, 750 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,680 even at 48 years old, there's probably some stuff for my 751 00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,000 childhood that's still impacting my day-to-day as we speak. 752 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,280 Right? Yeah. 753 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,800 Did I say how old I am you? Can help you are. 754 00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:24,120 I. Won't ask how old you are 'cause 755 00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:26,440 you're not supposed to do that, but you are welcome to volunteer 756 00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,120 that information, Karen. Well, what's interesting is 70. 757 00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,160 I'm still learning things. Yeah. 758 00:47:32,120 --> 00:47:35,680 You know, and I don't, I don't feel like I'm an old person. 759 00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,920 I can't stand it when people, people say I'm so old. 760 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,920 I'm like, will you shut up? Like. 761 00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,640 You know I age isn't a death sentence. 762 00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:47,120 Yes. You're gonna die someday. 763 00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:48,520 What? Could you just live while you're 764 00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:53,200 here, you know, to fly and get some fresh air? 765 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,000 You know, like I can't expect everybody to be to be like me, 766 00:47:57,520 --> 00:48:07,040 but I just feel like stop it. Yeah, so I know we're getting 767 00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:10,080 short on time. You're OK. 768 00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,160 I just want to make sure we get everything in. 769 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:17,640 So the book Unbroken, turning your pieces into peace and joy. 770 00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:22,720 Where can people get it? It's on my website at 771 00:48:22,720 --> 00:48:31,280 rubyredrd.com and it's also on Amazon, excuse me, also on 772 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:35,800 Amazon. Just make sure like it's easy. 773 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:39,400 There's a lot of unbroken titles. 774 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:43,800 Sorry. Get some tea. 775 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:46,800 Anyone that's read the book knows that you like a lot of tea 776 00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,120 and that you're not heating the water in the microwave anymore. 777 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,400 So that's good. Should we start this again? 778 00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:56,280 No, I'm just kidding. Appropriate time, right? 779 00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:58,640 Don't be seeing Karen. Let's give you a little. 780 00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,400 Yeah, So it's on my website and Amazon. 781 00:49:05,280 --> 00:49:08,320 It's easiest. Sometimes it comes up when you 782 00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:11,720 put in unbroken, turning your pieces into peace and joy. 783 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:13,680 But sometimes you have to put my name there. 784 00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,920 OK. There's I can realize how many 785 00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:19,200 books were named Unbroken. After. 786 00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:23,480 I did it but that was the name so the. 787 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:28,880 Name and one more time we talked about it, but just again, the 788 00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:32,880 people that are going to get the most out of this book, who are 789 00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:41,480 they? They are people who really want 790 00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:45,800 to get to know themselves. They've done the work. 791 00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:47,320 They feel like something's missing. 792 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,760 They'd like to. You know, I work with a lot of 793 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,040 entrepreneurs. I mean, it sounds crazy, but 794 00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:59,160 sometimes I mean, there's this match between being this 795 00:49:59,960 --> 00:50:06,160 independent person with also just having all of these things 796 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:10,120 that are following around behind you that you would like to at 797 00:50:10,120 --> 00:50:15,760 least at least solve the puzzle pieces and then have some tools 798 00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:18,880 to move forward with. Like what's it say on here? 799 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:23,600 Let me see what's. It say on your on your book. 800 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,480 What's it say on the back it says. 801 00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,040 I wrote this book for anyone who has carried pain, shame or 802 00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:35,000 silence thinking they had to hold it all together. 803 00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:40,840 Yeah, I mean, most of the people that I work with have had 804 00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:45,200 trauma. Most of us have, but some are 805 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:51,000 more significant and they don't understand the pieces and how 806 00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,040 to. A lot of people don't know how 807 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:54,760 to set boundaries for themselves. 808 00:50:56,160 --> 00:51:00,280 Once again, I'm not a big fan of, like, category words. 809 00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:07,680 Boundaries, I think is one of them these days, but to be able 810 00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:11,960 to be more intentional around their life, to have make 811 00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:18,760 decisions based on worrying, not worrying about other people, but 812 00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:23,680 caring about people but not selling their soul for the sake 813 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:28,040 of others all the time and just wearing themselves out. 814 00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:29,720 A lot of people experience burnout. 815 00:51:29,720 --> 00:51:31,920 They don't know what it's from, but sometimes when you 816 00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,560 experience burnout, it's from all that stuff you haven't dealt 817 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,080 with yet. OK. 818 00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,360 And it sounds crazy, but it's just true. 819 00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:46,600 Yeah. And then if people want to get a 820 00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:49,160 hold of you, they're interested in working with you. 821 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:51,320 They have questions about the process or how you work with 822 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,960 them. How do people find you for that 823 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,040 stuff? Yeah, it's on my website. 824 00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:59,320 They can just, you know, submit, you know, get in touch with me. 825 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:04,760 You can also just e-mail direct to me because that's if you go 826 00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:09,960 to my website, that's what it's gonna do anyway, and it's Karen 827 00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:18,640 at Ruby RUBYREDROAD, Ruby redrd.com, 828 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:25,280 awesomeyeahkaren@rubyredrd.com. OK, well Karen, thank you so 829 00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:28,040 much for taking the time to talk to me about your book. 830 00:52:28,040 --> 00:52:32,000 I really did enjoy it. Now it's my turn to need a glass 831 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:35,520 of water here. I really did enjoy it. 832 00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:39,160 And again, you know, a lot of respect for you for being able 833 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:43,920 to share those pieces of yourself with complete strangers 834 00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,520 and putting yourself out there. Very we, I, we talked about it, 835 00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:51,280 I think on the last episode that we recorded with you maybe a 836 00:52:51,280 --> 00:52:53,920 year ago, a year and a half ago when you came out to the farm. 837 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:59,120 But just the act of even writing A blog is sometimes challenging, 838 00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,680 let alone putting together a whole book. 839 00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,880 And I thought it was great. I certainly thinks I'm going to 840 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:06,240 be going back to in there, so thanks for writing it. 841 00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,000 Yeah, thank you and thank you for having me. 842 00:53:09,000 --> 00:53:15,160 I always appreciate your, your wisdom, your you know the way I 843 00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,960 don't know, you help people. One of the things that what's 844 00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,920 the word you use unwavering. I never forget that. 845 00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:26,800 Like unwavering is so important and I think of it sometimes. 846 00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:30,120 What would be the unwavering support thing today? 847 00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:33,200 Yeah. My my answer for you know, 848 00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:38,080 whoever and how can I do it like and you also care about people a 849 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:41,120 lot. You I know that's part of the 850 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:46,720 unwavering part, but you, you, you notice things. 851 00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:52,720 You help people that need help. I don't know you. 852 00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,960 You're a participant in life. I'm trying to be Karen. 853 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,840 I'm also trying to take the compliments that you're giving 854 00:53:59,840 --> 00:54:04,920 me and not not deprecate too much. 855 00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:08,520 And yeah, so. Thank you for the. 856 00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:11,960 Yeah, thank you for having me. Absolutely. 857 00:54:11,960 --> 00:54:14,680 Thanks for being you and appreciate you. 858 00:54:14,720 --> 00:54:16,800 And actually, I should say too, you know, as you're talking 859 00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,680 about who you help, you know, you and I have worked together 860 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,320 off and on throughout the years, different times. 861 00:54:22,720 --> 00:54:27,400 And without a doubt, it's I'm always very business focused and 862 00:54:27,400 --> 00:54:30,600 trying to achieve and do the things I'm trying to do. 863 00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:35,160 But I also know that it's always the trash in my head that's 864 00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:38,200 getting in the way. And you have always been 865 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:42,280 unwavering in your support to help me with that stuff and to 866 00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:44,880 help me with it. And I, I've always gained a lot 867 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:48,760 from our time together. So I just want to say that it's, 868 00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,480 you know, when you and I work together wasn't because if we're 869 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,480 doing any kind of trauma work, it was I'm trying to be more 870 00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:58,840 successful in life and you are helping me see the blind spots 871 00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:03,400 and, or helping me see the patterns that I have that are 872 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,120 maybe are blind spots. I don't see them. 873 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:08,920 So I really, I respect you and the work you do and you know, 874 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:10,120 very appreciative of it. So. 875 00:55:10,520 --> 00:55:13,480 Thank you very much. I appreciate that. 876 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,560 OK. And we appreciate everybody 877 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:17,680 that's listening to this, of course. 878 00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:19,360 So thanks everybody for listening. 879 00:55:19,640 --> 00:55:24,360 You can find all of our podcasts on buying local dot US as well 880 00:55:24,360 --> 00:55:28,720 as listen to them or watch them on Spotify, YouTube, Rumble and 881 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,680 Apple podcast. So thanks everybody for 882 00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:32,640 listening and you'll hear from us next week.