What it do, what it do, what it do?
It is your boy Andrew Schultz AKA Mr. Goody 2 Shoes and who am
I with? As always, Joseph Huggins AKA
Old Man Huggy. Talk shit or get off the pod.
Episode 191 Taylor Swift at the Cracker Barrel.
Welcome, motherfuckers. How's it going, man?
And what, what do you think about the Cracker Barrel?
First of all, because there's one like out here in my city,
they're everywhere. Well, that, well, I'm in
California and they're not everywhere.
There just happens to be one in like the city that I live in.
Have not ate there at that one specifically, but I went to the
gift shop which I didn't even know existed.
Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, like, just like
hella like mushroom, like trinkets and shit.
Like, I don't know if it's like what's going on here.
It's like, I mean, we, yeah, it's like Bucky's before there
was a Bucky's. I again again I I have no idea
what the fuck Bucky's is like. It's just a big gas station.
It's like a quick trip with everything in it, like a quick
trip in a Walmart Supercenter. Again, like I don't think the
audience knows what a quick trip is.
However, fun story. Fun story.
When we when we were. When we were in high school, I
went to go to the Pink Floyd laser light Spectacular with
with our boy Kanoff and his mom stopped at a QuikTrip, took
mushrooms. I was one driving to downtown
Dallas to go see this at the Majestic.
I think it was what it was called.
Yeah. So what it is, it's it's it's
it's Dark Side of the Moon, laser light, spectacular
intermission. And then it's the Wall.
So it's like both albums. Yeah.
So I take the mushrooms at the QuikTrip.
We're like 25 minutes away from the venue by the time I got to
downtown, like 20 minutes later, your boys quickly tripping and
like I'm like, like there's lights, you know, like I'm in
like, what's the district like? Where like Trees is at like.
Not Deep Ellum. Yeah, Deep Ellum.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
OK, Yeah. Yeah, so I'm in Deep Ellum, like
thinking like, like I had plenty of time before the shrooms
would, like, kick in. But also just greatest time
ever. And also weird that our boy
Kanoff's mom was like in attendance the whole time.
Was aware of the mushrooms or not?
100% she used to, She used to allegedly, allegedly she used to
take Ambien. And remember, we talked.
I don't know if we, it was you and I talked.
No, we talked about this in Joshua Tree.
It's like we take Ambien and then you try to stay up.
And like triple. Yeah, yeah, She used to do that.
But like, like where you stay up and then you have sex.
Like it's like a there's like a term for it.
I learned about this like when I like went to Joshua retreat to
like record music, like last year.
Like they call it like it's like some celebrity like does it?
I forget who it is though. Interesting.
That's very interesting. Yeah, driving on mushrooms is
always an adventure and a bad idea.
No, no shit. Like, I just thought that we
would get there like. No, I know.
I mean. I've but I but I but I took it
at a a place called Quick Trip and I quickly was tripping.
Well, Quick Trip is just like an oversized gas station.
Right, right, right. So it's for the listeners who
don't know, but they're like very clean.
They have like cold brew on tap coffee.
They have so much crazy shit. It's like a it's awesome.
It's awesome. It's it's.
Kmart, out here in California, it's the same thing.
Kmart blue light special no like AK Mart gas station.
I know. K circle Circle K circle circle.
K, yeah, yeah, Circle K would be.
It's better. It's better than Circle K, OK.
But just that I'm taking mushrooms at a place called
QuikTrip and I quickly started tripping was like tripping me
out but I had a but I had a really good time.
Like oh man, I got a good. Time, yeah, I was like, I was
like, I thought like. I started to trip at the
QuikTrip and now I'm quickly tripping.
I'm tripping out man. It's going real quick.
Tripping at the QuikTrip? I just started tripping like
sooner than I thought. Like I thought I'd be able to
park, like get into my seat and like that's why I took it.
Like when I took it, it was like, so like I wasn't like
halfway. You tried.
To time it you tried to. Time it right.
Yeah, Yeah. I've I've been timing, timing
was off. You could never.
It's hard to time that. It really is.
That's especially when you get the private reserve.
True. True How?
Have you been? Man, I've been busy.
I've built a rock path, I've built a French drain.
I've just been going to town, like getting stuff done, but
it's been hot as balls out here. Super hot in Texas, but I've
been surviving. We got a little bit of rain last
week, so that was good. Just been grinded and working my
life away, man. The usual.
But things are going all right, I suppose.
Nothing too crazy, I'd be better.
I got an alert, I think it was last night, that there's going
to be thunderstorms in LA and I'm like, what are you guys even
talking about? Fuck yeah, I'll take it.
No, I would too. Like, I just like, it just
didn't make sense to me. It's like, because it hasn't
been raining and I was like, and it's been like 90° like every
day. And it's like, well, we've just
got thunderstorms now. Yeah, see, I went ham and was
like, I'm going to build this like stone pavers rock path like
you see everyone do or whatever, but so I did that shit.
Then I went even crazier and was like I'm going to buy tons of
irrigation equipment and I dug this huge fucking trench and
built a drain in the in the rock path so if it rains and fills up
it has a drain that drains it and runs it underground and away
from that right before my house and into this flower bed that I
built. Like some super intricate crazy
wild shit. Paging Doctor green thumb dude.
Dude, I've been going like ham, like fucking ham on this.
I'll send you. Pictures.
You'll be like this. It looks great.
It looks like I paid someone.
You want to hear something crazy?
So remember our Boy P Wig who hooked us up with Melinda's hot
sauce? Hot Saucy Boy Summer.
Is he going by P wig still? I feel like it's like.
Yeah, he is. Frat frat boy music or.
Something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, you're right, You're right.
Keeps changing. Yeah, it does keep changing.
He has a side project. Hits me up.
Ask me if I want to get on like the chorus 'cause he's been
listening to my music. And he said like the songs like
about it was originally about family and then he said, but
then it kind of changed to the Manson Family.
So I just like like in the morning, like before I like even
started working 'cause I'm like working remotely right now.
I, I hit him with like some lyrics and every single lyric I
say we're going ham. I was like, it's like, like
we're going ham. Like with the Manson fam, we're
going ham. Like we yen mansions, ma'am, we
go in ham. Fuck, I forget the the third
line 'cause I like, I just wrote it and sent it to him.
But like, shit was fire actually.
But yeah, your boy's about to be on AP wig track.
I forget what his record label is, but it's real.
I would say it's either gutter, gutter, mouth.
Gutter mouth. Gutter mouth, Yeah.
And then Manson fam is like a group of them.
So there's like four or five of them.
I do my research. There's like four or five of
them. And on gutter mouth, yeah.
It's like him. I didn't know that.
It's him. This guy named PAC Manson.
OK, yeah, I know. You send me like videos.
Yeah, like it's. Like there's like a chick,
there's like a a girl and then there's like two other people I
think. OK, so so it's going ham like
the Manson fam going ham up in the mansions, ma'am, going ham
'cause we handsome God damn going ham like the Manson fam,
like that was just my first take.
Your boy, your boys got bars, dude.
So they're going to be on AAP wig P wig track.
Yeah. Let's go, dude.
You got to come out to Texas for the video shoot.
Get Melinda out there. Shout out Melinda by the way.
Like I was I was just texted Joseph our last episode.
Most stream fucking episode that we ever had like in like 2
weeks. Like by far, like not even
close. Like I went and checked it
'cause it was like already like up.
So I just checked it like a couple hours ago and I was just
like, what the fuck's happening? Did we?
Did? Didn't we pick up another?
Oh yeah, also also they're listening to the podcast now.
In fucking Gaza, in Palestine. Dude, Palestine's not even a
recognized country like by the United States.
Shit's on our Spotify, dude. Like these dudes are getting
bombed by like some genocidal fucking maniac.
Netanyahu allegedly indicted war criminal.
That's not alleged. Yeah, yeah.
And they're listening to our podcast.
So we got dudes on the front lines of Ukraine listening to
the podcast. We got fucking starving kids
listening to the podcast in Gaza City dude.
Jesus. Not starving, it's famine type.
Shit, it's true, but Jesus. I'm just saying Allah.
Now Jesus would say, though, he would let the He would let the
food in. Yeah, yeah, well guess what?
Nanya Hutt doesn't give a fucking shit, dude.
All he needs to do is stop. Stop.
Or just let the food in. Yeah, or let the food in and out
bomb the sites where the food's being.
They just hit a, they just hit a fucking hospital and like killed
like reporters, like it's ridiculous.
That is really crazy that they killed that reporter team that
like pressed like it was like what, 2 reporters, A producer
and a cameraman like 4 of them. Right.
Like they they could just stop the war, get all the hostages
back. Like Hamas is done.
Like they're done. Yeah.
It's this is just a I'll just fucking keep it real.
Your boy Netanyahu is on trial right now for corruption charges
and will go to prison, but cannot go to prison if he is the
Prime Minister of Israel and therefore he needs to stay in
power. And so the far right section of
the parliament is the people who are keeping them in power, who
are the people who are sorry, racist against Palestinians and
are cool with bombing like hospitals.
Like that's what's happening. Both Israel, Palestine, listen
to the fucking podcast. So does Jordan, all of them,
Egypt, they'll get it. They know we all.
We all know. OK, not that you were pro that,
but I will say over the timeline your stance is less pro Israel
than it was before. I'm pro Israel.
I'm not pro the Israeli government.
And what? And OK, there's a difference,
right? It it's just like, I love
America, dude. You know the red, white and
blue, but that includes yellow, black and brown too.
I'm just not pro Trump. I'm not like, yeah, I don't
like. I'm not pro white nationalist.
Right. I'm not like, I'm not out here
like like supporting like the like the fucking federal
government right now, but I love this country and I think Israel
has a right to exist like, but I just don't agree with what's
happening right now at all. That's for.
There's hundreds of thousands of Israelis out protesting right
now because of what's happening, like, and when.
And when you say hundreds of thousands, like that's like, OK,
yeah, that's a lot of people. There's only 10 million fucking
people that live there. So that'd be like fucking 30
million people in the United States out protesting.
And there's actually a rule if 3% of the population of any
country goes out and protests, the government gets toppled.
Like that's like a scientific thing.
It's like weird. I, I just learned that like a
few months ago. So if you get 3% of the
population of any country, no matter how big or small, I'll
own the streets. Every single time there's a,
there's a, there's a coup, not a coup.
But or regime change? A revolution?
Oh damn. Oh yeah, bark it out,
revolution. Someone, someone just rang the
doorbell. Hold on one second.
Sorry. Ya, let's.
Open that door. That's badass.
But but I guarantee you it's just food delivery for my
roommate. But we both like put like,
please do not ring the doorbell and like, they just like don't
listen. And it's just cause like my
dog's protective. But you know, it's funny is
because I've been working remotely for like the last week
and a half. I've had my dog with me and
like, she just confuses me like 'cause I just don't know what
her schedule is usually. Like I drop her off at my
parents and they, they have a backyard and she could just go
do whatever she does. So I've like taken her on like
like seven walks today. Just like I'm like, are you
good? Do you need to like pee?
Do you need to poop? And then today she was like
laying like on the patio and I like walked to my room and she
figured out how to like open the screen door with like her nose.
Like I thought somebody was like walking into my house.
I'm like, what the fuck? And like, and I was like, Nah,
she just clever like that. Just like how she just opened
the barn door. Like clever girl.
Yeah, OK, well, my week sucked. I don't know how far we need to
get into it, to be honest, now that we've gone this far.
Well, yeah, I mean, I didn't. Wasn't gonna be like.
No, I don't. Know patronizing and be like,
how was your week? No, I know.
I know, I know, I know. OK, so just like I'll just keep
it brief and then we'll just move to, you know, to the
regular shit, to the. DQS.
Yeah, I got into a really gnarly car accident a week ago from
Friday, so like the 15th fractured my vertebrae, broke
multiple ribs, collapsed my lung.
I found out got probably concussed.
Have a black eye. You might be able to see it.
Don't remember any of it. Woke up in the hospital and then
I got this like weird ass fucking thing called like pure
pure prism, pure pism. And it's like where you're it's
this really happened. To me.
No, I'm going to bring it up. I'm just going to bring it up
because like people need to know how serious it is because I did
not. So I was, I, I, I, I woke up
with an interaction on Tuesday. We're recording this on Tuesday.
So we could go from today. And it never went away.
And I didn't do anything about it, but I was staying at my
parents house because I had a fucking fractured vertebrae and
broken ribs. And so I needed like help like
literally getting out of the couch from like the car
accident. And my mom was, like, talking to
me about how, like, I had an erection, like, and I'm like, if
like, stop talking to me about my Dick mom.
Like, you know, like, yeah. It's like, of course they say
like, after four hours on the commercial of Viagra, I call a
doctor. It's like, it's like they're
just trying to cover their ass. Like, I didn't think it was a
big deal. Shit doesn't go away for all of
Tuesday, all of Wednesday. Wake up Thursday.
And it is the most painful shit ever.
So I put ice on it does, does nothing.
And I like I just immediately go into my mom's room and I go,
yeah, we got to go go to urgent care.
As soon as I get to urgent care, doctor comes in, He he's like,
yeah, you need to leave. Like you need to go to the
emergency room. Like right the fuck.
Now I'm like, he's like, like for real.
And but luckily like the emergency.
So like I have Kaiser, just Full disclosure.
So like I was like, I like the Kaiser urgent care, but they
contract with this hospital in Ventura that's close by.
So I that my dad has gone to a lock Z like had a stroke.
So I've been yeah. So go there 10 out of 10 pain 10
out of 10 your boys wearing like sweatpants, like not sweatpants,
sweat shorts, the boxers. So just walking into the
emergency room with like a full like gas erection, which would
have been funny had it not hurt so much 'cause like half the
people would be like, like, what's this fucking weirdo he
was? Literally the boner guy, My
boner guy, what are you doing? But then, but then like like
half the other people be like, yeah, it is like.
It's it's like crushing. Crushing.
That that that he came in fully chubbed.
Nah dude Nah I I I have a fractured fucking vertebrae,
broken ribs and now I've got 10 out of 10 pain in my penis.
A 64 hour boner. That that hurts.
Hurts like more than you can imagine.
Back in the emergency room. Third time, 7 days, 'cause I
went to I got taken off in the ambulance in a car crash and
then I went to the hospital the next day just to like 'cause I
don't even the whole car crash thing was crazy.
I. Want concussions and shit like.
That yeah, I don't know what happened like at all, like what
happened with it. So I just wanted to like go get
checked out again, so I went. So the car crash was Friday.
Went back Saturday to to to this same hospital that now I'm at
with my penis. And they like, try to like, fix
it, but it was because, like, I waited for so long to go that it
just was not going to get fixed like in a normal way.
And basically the doctor was just like, yeah, dude, you need
to have surgery right now or your Dick's fucked.
And I'm sitting there with a fucking fractured spine, broken
ribs, totaled car. Just like, what the fuck did you
say to me, dude? That.
And there's a nurse next to me and she just grabs my like arm
because she just, she just knows like this is the heaviest shit
you've ever heard in your life. And so it's just like, I have to
make a decision, right? The fuck then if I'm getting
surgery or not on my Dick. So obviously I do.
And literally like 2 hours later I get pulled into like the
surgery room, right? They're playing fucking Lady
Gaga. I ask if like the surgeon like
listens to music whenever they do surgery and they're like, it
depends on the surgeon. But yeah, doctor I'll, I'll
shout him out. Doctor Yang.
It was tight like he does. And I go, OK, cool.
Can we change it? Cause your boy like thinks like
he I, I might just died like at this point, Jada, like I've just
been in like a car accident like that.
I thought I almost. Died you just you just yeah,
yeah, going going through it. Through it like through like
beyond. I'd like a better walk up song
than applause by Lady Gaga. Not that it's a bad song, no no,
I would just pick something different.
This is not me shitting on Lady Gaga like I'm this is my, this
is just, I'm, I'm just giving you contact.
I'm giving you contact. Yeah, no, I'm, but no, no.
So so so the so the nurses asked me what I want like to put on.
I go my music and then and then I and I get them to, to, to go
to at Mr. Goody 2 shoes at YouTube, throw up on my shit.
And then, and then this anesthesiologist is like could
not have been like better. Like like she's just like, hey,
listen, like I know this is fucked up.
Like, like I'm going to be with you this whole time.
Like you like, it's going to be like a time warp.
Like, you know, we're going to give you the medication, but I'm
going to be here this whole time if anything goes wrong.
Like just like making me feel like really comfortable, right,
with the promise of giving me like Xanax so that I feel less
anxious leading up to this. 5 minutes goes by, some slumpy ass
like old dude, like out of shape, just like walks in.
He's like, oh, I'm the anesthesiologist now I'm on
call. So the so like the woman who
just gave me like the pep talk made me feel like super good.
Like how she was never going to leave my side the entire time
for the surgery already gone. I'm like no so dude.
I was on call so I'm here. I swear to God it was creepier
than that. Is this your music?
Dude, I was like yo, what the fuck?
And also when does the Xanax come, dude?
And then they hit me with like the Xanax.
It wasn't like Xanax, but it was whatever.
It was like the same type of shit equivalent, like through
like IV and then yeah. And then I just woke up like 2
hours later. And then I had to stay like the
night over in the hospital and my mom like took me there and
she went to go move the car because like where we parked was
2 hour parking only. So she just went to go move it
at the exact same time that they told me like, bro, like you have
the you have to go to surgery now.
So she's gone while they're saying that to me.
So she runs into the nurse who is there in the room as she's
coming back. And the nurse tells her like,
I'm going to surgery and I'm sorry.
They're good, ma'am. All right, so like she's crying
and apologizes for crying and that like crushed me.
It's like, you know, to say sorry to me.
But I did luck out like with what's crazy is like I got a
therapist the day before just 'cause I was so bummed out about
like what app? Like I I like I was just think
it's good app a therapist. And I was just, like, bummed out
about, like, the car crash and like, just, yeah, yeah.
They're going through a lot. Right, and but your boy had the
erection, you know, the whole time, like untreated at this
point, 'cause it's when like I went to the hospital Thursday,
it shit started Tuesday therapy sessions Wednesday.
Luckily though, she had a couch with like a pillow.
So I got to like put it over. But like my therapist doesn't
even know the next day I'm like going to like get surgery like
on my fucking Dick. Like it's insanity, dude.
It was like what is going on? OK, And the reason why this
happened was I went to my car to get shit out of it, like when I
was at like at the towing place because it was totaled.
And like they put all like the broken like stuff like from the
outside of my car, inside of my car.
So it was like hard to like get to shit.
But like I had my backpack in there with like, you know, like
the supercomputer and shit. And so I was like trying to get
stuff and I had this like prescription called Trazodone
that it's like, it's like you it like it's for something else.
I forget exactly what it's for. It's like seizures or something
or like, but they use it off. They found out like off label.
It's like good for sleep and like they prescribe the shit out
of this like like all the time to people.
Like I used to take it like all the time, but like I just was
trying to get off of like all like prescription pills.
So I just like had a full bottle and it and it was like one thing
I could grab. So I just grabbed it out of the
car, right. And then I just took it like at
night on Monday, which is, you know, the accident was Friday.
I went Monday to my car, got the shit, took it on Monday, like
with like the Tylenol and Advil whatever, and when I Google
finally googled like hey, like your Dick's been hard for three
days Like this is a problem. It said like multiple things
like could cause like the that to happen.
One would be like side effects of taking a a drug and the only
drug they listed was Trazodone, which was the drug that I took.
But then the other causes were damage to your spinal cord and I
had both happen like within like that weekend.
But isn't that insane? That's like wild thing.
Like I didn't like I stopped taking like this shit.
Like I don't even know why it was in my car like.
Yeah, but it's like, was it like, how old was it?
Like old old. Like at least a year.
But but no, but no. But when I told the doctors
about it, like like saw multiple doctors like that, like
throughout like the Thursday, Friday process when I mentioned
that they're like, Oh yeah, yeah, that is actually inside
it. Like that is for sure why I'm
like, why are you guys like handing this shit out like it's
fucking. Like, Oh yeah, that happens.
I'm. Not kidding though.
So I had a another appointment with the doctor already lined up
before all of this. So like at the same place as
like the therapist. So like the therapist works at
this like behavioral health thing with the Kaiser.
And but then there's an actual doctor.
Yeah. So I had that lined up for
Monday. And so I'm telling him like the
story, right. Like I got discharged on Friday.
The therapist has no idea. And I'm telling him the story
and he tells me how he fucking like prescribes Trazodone to
people all the time and he had no idea.
I know this is going to sound like I'm making this up.
This actually happened to me. So the boy gets discharged on
Friday. I go and walk the trail that's
like right by my parents house just cause I've been like laying
in a fucking bed for 24 hours. I just wanted to like.
Move. Yeah, yeah.
I get, I get a call from CVS pharmacy in Port Wanemi, which
is like not even, it's like 25 minutes away from like where I
live, saying that a prescription from Rite Aid at in Port Wanemi
had been transferred to the CVS 'cause that Rite Aid had closed.
And I'm like, and I had been getting like Tylenol and Advil,
like prescriptions, you know, from the doctor, like from the
hospitals for like the accident and then whatever.
So I'm like, I'm like, I was like, OK, like I was like, well,
can we just, I was like, what prescription are you talking
about? Not kidding.
I've been out of the hospital for one hour, just had surgery.
Everybody thinks it's because of Trazodone.
They say there is a prescription available for me at the CVS in
Port Wainemi for Trazodone. I go what?
And then she says it's for one tablet.
Like what is the timeline I'm living in?
What some So somebody made you a prescription for Trazodone for
one pill? Which doesn't even make sense.
The bottle that I got out of my car, I had like fucking 300 of
them. What?
Who cut you that prescription?
No clue. They they can't tell you.
I didn't ask are they? Taunting you, I have.
No, I swear to God that happened dude.
Like like immediately after I got this child.
No, but no, no, I I am like no, please laugh.
That's fucking crazy. Wild, wild.
I'm like, what prescription are we even talking about?
Like, you know, it's like, and then she hits me with the trust
and I'm like, are you fucking kidding?
And then I was like, no, I don't want that.
Like the last doctor I talked to, he's like never ever again
trusted. And I was like, trust me, I
never wanted to do it ever again either.
I just was in pain and thought it would help me sleep.
And I just had it because I got it out of the fucking car
because I was trying to grab all the shit out of the car that I
crashed that I don't remember crashing.
Like, like, you know, it's like this like whole like Confluence.
And then she goes, well, it's just for one tablet.
I'm like, like, like, what did you just say to me?
That's almost like intentional. Yes, yes.
Like unbelievable shit, dude. Like I'm like, what are you
doing? And OK, and then I just got to
just keep keep it going. So five day, like within 5 day
mandatory check up on your boys. You know, we'll, we'll just
refer to my genital. Doctor Yang's got to check the
Wang. Yeah, there you go.
Big facts is what we'll call it. OK, you can call it that.
Actually, well, yeah, I different story.
I I, I got back into my online poker account and with a
different e-mail as, as, as suggested by you remember, I got
shadow banned. Yeah.
So instead of going by Mr. Good Air, go by big facts now.
And it worked fine. But anyways, so.
OK, so I had. So I thought that that would
just be scheduled, right. It's like I got your boys got
sutures and it's big facts. Yeah.
I have no idea what this shit is supposed to look like.
Looks fucking crazy. Just figured that would be part
of like the discharge. Like, you know, I sent so much
paperwork. It's like, you know, everybody's
like taking care of me. Like this is what you got to do
this what you got to do. Now I have to schedule the
appointment. So I do go and call the number
to schedule it. They need a referral from
Kaiser, even though they contract with Kaiser.
And that's why I went to the place where I went to the
hospital in order for him to do a follow up on my surgery that
needs to be done within five days.
We're here at 5 days. So your boy now has to go to an
appointment tomorrow at 2:00 for a nurse to look at my Dick to
then refer to a hospital for Doctor Yang to look at my Wang.
Everybody's got to get a slice, man.
But what are we doing, dude? Like, why do I have to even
schedule it? And then now I have to go to
someone else so that they can confirm that I need to it to get
looked at like I like, that's not even like a shot.
I get the American healthcare system.
That's just like retarded hard R, hard I I just don't like it's
like dude, dude, dude, how many LS, how many LS?
But at the same time, at the same time like, you know,
everything else is good. Like I'm in better spirits, like
my like body actually feels better.
Like I like for like my neck and like back was like really fucked
up like but now it's just my penis.
No, it's another no. It's something that has nothing
to do with the crash. Well, kind of, though I never I.
Guess. It's all kind of related.
I'd never like a like a president was in my car for like
a year. I'd never even thought about
taking. Final destination kind of way.
Yeah, like, like butterfly effect.
It's like, yeah. Dude.
Final destination, dude. Yeah.
But OK, so but what I did here, like I'll just leave at this
like as anonymous as I can just for just, I don't know, whatever
responsible purposes the place that I went was at actually got
shut down. I found this out while I was
there because they were like selling drugs behind the bar and
like doing like off shit. And then like got and then they
were allowed to like reopen. Like I don't know, like I forget
the story of why, but my sister used to work like 3 Doors Down.
I got this other bar and she knew exactly like the place that
I was at. And she told me like, yeah, no,
they were like notorious for that.
And so like, I was there for two hours.
I don't remember leaving. It's like, what the fuck
happened? Let me just leave it at that.
There's 2 Austin stories. There was the Yasin brothers.
They were big in the Austin club scene.
They owned like Kiss and Fly, which was a big gay bar, bunch
of other bars and downtown Austin.
And they got caught with like murder, extortion, distribution
of narcotics. They were like selling coke and
stuff in their clubs. Crazy story.
I think they both got arrested. I know one of the brothers fled.
I want to say they were from Syria maybe, But they like
booked it. One of them booked it.
Then there's another. There's a girl I used to date
and her roommate worked at this place called Hovito's.
It was on South Congress. Shitty little place was like a
part music venue. These motherfuckers got arrested
for murder and shipping heroin. So they were reusing Hovitos as
a front and I like went in there and ate and like talked to the
people who like owned the business, who were like
murdering heroin dealers, but ran this little shitty ass Tex
Mex place in South Congress Austin.
That's way more prevalent than like you realize like that
shady. No, no.
No, because a lot of it's like especially it's all cash bar
stuff like that. It's really easy for you to wash
stuff. Right.
Well, it wasn't all cash, but it was divey.
Yeah, yeah, I like. But but, but, but it was like it
was in Sherman. I'll just, I'll just say it was
in Sherman. I was like in a busy place like,
but it's like nothing about any of it makes any sense to me.
But like what I like it just like the last thing I remember
is just like having a good time, like just totally fine.
And then I just wake up in the hospital.
I don't remember any of it. Like, like, so just like, I just
don't get it. And I talked to my insurance
company and asked if they were going to like investigate it,
you know, and they said no, but it would be a good idea if I did
because it was like at a cross street.
So I'm like wondering if like maybe there's like cameras, like
on the stop lights because I like, really like, it doesn't
make sense. Like how like and just for y'all
didn't know like I'm the only person that was involved in this
crash like like nobody else was like hurt or anything even there
it was just me. Like that's what, that's the
part that just doesn't make sense to me.
Yeah, I don't know. That's fucking wild, man.
I mean, I'm glad you're OK. I'm glad you're healthy.
But. And then my penis fell off.
It didn't fall off it like it it it went.
It went too hard. I'm glad your penis will be OK.
Well, we hope so. I mean, fingers crossed if if we
can see if we can ever get to Doctor Yang.
Yeah, Doctor Yang takes a look at the Wang.
I'll let you know that there ain't a.
Thing, you know, it's funny, like the the doctor's
appointment I had scheduled for my body on Monday yesterday.
His name is Doctor Lang totally different.
Just like a chilled out like white dude like who like looks
like he like plays like in like a band with like Ben Harper or
something. But yeah, but then, but then,
but then I had Doctor Yang, you know, like just just like giving
me hand jobs, like for like 24 hours.
Asian guy. Yeah, but but, but, but I I
Irish last first name Patrick Patty Yang.
That's what I called them. Patty Yang, That's a sickest
name under these therapy questions.
Let's do it. All right, so yeah, as we've
mentioned, I'm in charge of the therapy questions and I've
brought them strictly back to Would you Rather's and
ridiculousness. Also just want to give you a
shout out actually old man Huggy.
I shared the notes with someone and that's someone.
From today. Yeah, today, like right before
we started recording. OK.
Gave you a shout out. What'd they say?
They said I like him already. Oh, because of what I picked.
Yeah, yeah. Because we had been talking
about see, well, that's that's the thing that I was trying to
say. Like I think like a few months
ago was like that we should like run down what we're going to go
over in the beginning of the podcast because I feel like a
lot of podcasts do that and for a reason.
But like, people have no fucking clue.
Like what we're. About but we have like we have
like good banter and. Like no, I know shit.
Talking So that's like where it's good is it's like a like
while we're we don't really edit, we mean we stream this
everything live, we record live. So there's a like an organicness
to it that it's nice that we just like kind of shoot the shit
for a little bit. Sometimes it's 5 minutes,
sometimes it's for 20 minutes. Well, that's also what this
person was asking was like, because I showed the notes and
like the like, oh, so you're not going to talk about any like
personal stuff? I was like, no, we always do.
That's just that part's just not in the notes.
But my point is like, like I'll listen to a podcast and be like,
this is like, this is what we're like.
Pod Save the World is so like on Spotify, you get to pick like,
what is this podcast similar to? So like I got to pick like 2
podcasts that I like that I feel like they're similar to ours,
but they're not really. They're just my favorite podcast
Pivot and then Pod Save the world.
But like like they'll like breakdown, like this is what
we're talking about. Like these are the topics like
in the beginning. And it's like, I'd like to me,
it's like, I don't really give a shit, but like, I feel like
there's a reason they do that, you know, It's like that.
They've like tested it and it's like.
Yeah, we can do that shit. No, I know, I know, I had
mentioned it before but like I just.
Anyways, so here comes some ridiculous shit and and you only
get to know about it ahead of time.
If you know you exclusive like that, you and the club there be
question #1 would you rather relive your most embarrassing
karaoke performance or your most awkward first kiss?
See, I'd probably say most embarrassing karaoke performance
because if it's ever embarrassing, I I don't
embarrass easy in that sense. So if it was embarrassing for
me, I probably had a blast and that was fine.
So I mean, most awkward first kiss, That would just be weird.
I don't even, I mean, but I guess I feel like that'd be like
cringy a little bit because you'd be reliving it so you
couldn't change anything to not make it awkward.
You know It's funny. OK, well, this is, this is where
I'm at. Like, I don't like, yeah.
Like I have no trauma in karaoke experiences.
You know, it's like, it's like this shit's going to be like
probably wack like, you know, like, or expected to be wack.
Like for the. Yeah.
So if it's like, if it's good at all, like, you're good.
Like people love you just for going up and seeing in the 1st
place. They're like hell yeah man.
Like get back up there. You were terrible.
Go again. Right, right, right.
So so there's that. But also though, anytime that I
have like a bad first kiss, I don't blame myself.
I blame it on the on the. Yeah, you're like whoa, bro, get
it together. No, I blame it on like the
chick. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
You're like. Whoa, you said bro.
You said bro. Yeah, because if it's that
awkward, you'd be like, bro, what are you doing?
What? Is this?
I just wouldn't refer to it you're making out with as a bro.
At that point, if it's that bad, you're already I'm.
Putting you in a new category, you're.
Shuffled off, you're in the bro category.
I'll make out with the Bros. Like it's just, and it's not
like I just automatically do it. Like I'll like overthink it and
be like, did I fuck that kiss up?
No, but. But I couldn't be me.
No, like I know I'll, I'll, I'll consider like the fact that it
was me, but it's like, I don't know, I just feel like I'm good
at it and like it's like, if it's off, it's off like, like,
and I'd, I'd, I just would rather not do that.
Like I'll just go up there and embarrass myself in karaoke all
damn day. Yeah, I mean.
I mean your your boys dropping like fucking like YouTube covers
like like every fucking day. So I got to care less and
couldn't care less, I should say.
Somebody in the chat on YouTube just said big facts.
They're talking about big facts. Big Facts is going to be making
a comeback. Don't call it a comeback.
Been here for years. No, I mean, and like most, I
feel like most people's awkward kiss moments are normally when
they're younger, so it's like. I disagree.
Hard disagree. You can have them.
What I'm saying is no, they're more impactful when you're older
because you're like, whoa, what? But you've had.
But there's an all sorts of awkward like kiss moments when
you're younger because you're trying to like find your game.
You know, you're trying to like trying to find that season and
you're trying to find the right combination and then you.
Figure it out. I don't know.
I feel like it's it came out the
womb just crushing it. No, no, I feel like that like
the older that like I got like the less consistent that like
the first kiss is good. I always felt like the first
kiss was good, like every time, like up and and then there was
like a moment where it was like I was like, right what?
Well, but that's like, oh, this is you have pizza for the first
time and you're like, this is the best fucking pizza I've ever
had. And then you need another pizza
place. By the time you've had like 15
pizzas, you're like, you know what?
That first pizza I had wasn't that great of a pizza.
I've had better pizzas. So it's like the more pizza you
try, the more you can identify bad pizza, but the more pizza
you try, the more bad pizza you're going to encounter.
What I am saying is if you reach a certain point to where, yeah,
it'd be more, it's more awkward if you were older and you were
to like kiss somebody who doesn't know how to even do it
and you're like, what the fuck is this?
That's what I'm saying. That would be weirder.
That would be weirder and more impactful than when you were
younger, because when you were younger, everybody's trying to
figure out if they can, how to do it in the fuck first place.
That's what I'm saying, to some extent, trial and error and you
find a group, whatever. But you both are figuring that
out. So it's like man, you know,
like, hey, you know what, that we both we're both going to mark
Parr on our golf cards, but we both took nine shots last hole.
But like, we both. Suck at all.
You know what it is. Maybe it's because it's so like
when you're younger, it's like, so like you're in the moment in
the present, like, and it's happening.
So, so therefore it is good. Yeah.
Whereas like maybe like people are overthinking it when they're
like, you know, like they're 30s or whatever 40s what you know,
and then or, or as you would say, as you would say, maybe
she's single for a reason, dude. I'd say that about so much.
You said that about. You said that about the the ex
and. Voldemort.
But like, but like day of like the breakup, I was like bro, I
was like just. Spin.
Right. Just pump the fucking brakes
bro. I tried to.
Gand off.
I know, I know. Gand off the Gray you did.
I know, it was just too soon. Shit was shit.
Hashtag too soon? Stumbled back across me in the
woods like a glowing white lady. Like who's that?
It was like Gandalf the White Son.
But no, yeah, I'd rather do embarrassing karaoke
performances because sometimes, sometimes I'll pick embarrassing
songs that have no business singing on purpose just to get
people into it. Because you can change the room
with karaoke if you're shameless about it.
They'll get inspire others to make an ass of themselves.
Exactly what I. So it's like it's, you know,
it's karaoke, it's everybody's in it together.
Not not even kidding. So like I I'll put out covers
all the time, like on YouTube, but I've been practicing a
karaoke song and you, you know what it is.
Hey, baby Hurricane Chris. And like, to me, it's like, it's
like. Hurricane Chris killed somebody.
No, Hurricane Chris took his own life.
It was it was the Now watch me whip.
Wait what? Pack the fuck up, Dark Alert.
I'm pretty sure. You just say that.
Did you say Hurricane Chris either murdered somebody or
committed suicide? Just like unprompted when I was
trying to say that like I'm choosing.
Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Robert. Kate.
Hurricane Chris spent time in jail in 2020 after being
arrested for second degree murder in connection to a fatal
shooting at a Shreveport gas station.
He maintained he acted in self-defense, which was later he
acted in self-defense when he tried to steal his vehicle,
which was later found to be stolen itself.
So he was driving a stolen car and killed shot a man trying to
steal a car from him, 2023. That's the hardest thing I've
ever. Found him not guilty on all
charges he was released on after a trial that lasted almost three
years and was released from jail on a $500,000 bond.
So I think, yeah, he's acquitted for almost three years.
So he was found not guilty on self-defense, but he did kill
somebody. Well, no, yeah, no, he shot
somebody and then but self-defense and then.
He he defended his stolen car. Yeah, he was driving a stolen
car and someone tried to steal his car.
That's Hurricane. Why is he now like a fucking
legend? Bro, that's my whip.
That's my whip. Hey, baby, but like, but it's,
you know. This this car is stolen.
But it's exactly what you're talking about.
It's like get the like vibe change like in like in the room,
like, 'cause I feel like everybody can get up for that
song, you know? It's like.
Whip, nae nae guy who's whip he was sent Ricky Hogg.
Now watch me, whip and watch me. No, I know the song, but I
didn't know Yeah if y'all yeah on the audio Joseph's hitting
you with. A hand whipped it, whipped it
pretty hard. Was sentenced to 30 years in
prison for a 2021 shooting death of his cousin.
He pleaded guilty to mentally ill to voluntary manslaughter
and other charges related to the killing.
So both of those guys shot some motherfuckers.
One of them shot his cousin and he's locked.
Why are they? Why are they related?
Well, you just like whipped Mayday.
And I was like, oh wait, you said Hurricane Chris.
I was like, hey, wait, I think that fool killed somebody.
And then I was like, no, wait, that's the whip Nae nae guy.
And then it was no, they both killed somebody.
So I was right and wrong. There you go, both shooters.
And I'm actually never wrong. One time I actually thought
never wrong. One time I actually thought I
was wrong, but I was wrong. I was right.
Now that's a joke that I used to have.
I'm never wrong. I'm always right.
One time I thought I was wrong, but I was actually right.
There's an old episode, it's super stupid, but it's Aqua Teen
Hunger Force. Love that show.
Used to love it all the time. And there's an episode with the
moon and nights. So they're like the little cube
dudes that come down from the moon and they're flat and they
say Outland is shit all the time about how like they're perfect
and they have this thing where they'll just be like everything
we do and say is right. I was like, I love how that
sounds. So I'll say that sometimes just
arbitrarily, like everything I do in that I say is right.
Well for the for the record I'm very self aware and I know that
I do wrong things and and am ready to admit it and apologize
for them. Next question.
Fucking staring at you, dude. No, I'm serious.
Me too, motherfucker. Me too.
There's a question #2 would you rather your therapist office be
a bouncy castle? A would a a jolly jump bounce
house? I think they call it jolly jump
out here. Bouncy castle, that is.
The jolly jump. Get the fuck out of here.
The jolly jump. No, no, no.
Did you not make jokes about the California No no figure a former
former music artist that we would play on the podcast Wifey
in the jolly jump like at a part like a kids party jumps knee to
her nose, concussion breaks her nose, has to get surgery like
months and months of therapy. Jolly jump, bro.
That's what we're talking about here, OK?
Would you rather your therapist's office be a bouncy
castle? Bouncy castle or a haunted
house? See, I thought about this.
Is this a bounce house that's got multiple people in it?
Like is it just open? Like are we sitting in the
middle of it and they're bouncing around?
Or is it just like an empty bounce house is?
Just you and the therapist. See, that would be kind of
tight. It sounds like a Paul Rudd
movie, like something that would happen in a Paul Rudd movie.
Like, oh, I'm falling in love with my therapist in this
session I've imposed upon her 'cause she works as like a.
Falling in love with your therapist is like so so
problematic. Oh for sure.
That's why it's a Paul Rudd. Movie and then your boy's got
like a hard on when he's like me and his therapist for the first
time, like, you know, just about to get surgery the next day.
Like just just come on dude I did not want to be in a bounced
castle falling in love my with my therapist.
I'm just saying that sounds like something that would happen in a
Paul Rudd movie. You meet your therapist.
Or or like Adam. Adam Sandler, like Billy
Madison. David Spade, David Spade type
shit. Now the haunted house.
I instantly was like haunted house and that of course.
Because you love ghosts. There'd be a little brevity, be
a little comedic relief because I'm assuming it's a haunted
house where there's like, people are going to pop out.
People might scare you. It's a haunted house.
OK, but where's the comedic? Really.
I've never laughed at our haunted house.
That would be funny. You would kind of laugh.
You got a jump scare when you were talking about something
traumatic and then some dude acts like he's going to get you
with the chainsaw. Everyone has a laugh, they
leave. I mean, I've never seen that.
It would mix it up. It would mix it up.
It'd be it might be easier to talk about heavy topics if.
While some dudes like just jumping out with the.
Yeah, he's not going to hit you. You know you signed the waiver.
But you're like, yo-yo, yo. They said that I needed surgery
on my Dick. Yeah, like feel better.
But you know what I do? I thought, you're going to cut
my hands off for a second. No, I got my hands and my Dick.
I'm good. Because a bounce house would
just be. That would be fucking.
OK, Well, OK, So what you're saying is I went to the Ventura
County Fair recently and I was trying to convince someone to go
on the on the Hyperloop with me, which is just like, it's fucking
sketchy, but it's like not. All those sketchy dude, the fact
that we used to get on that shit is like so.
To me, this was to me, this was like third on the list of
sketchy of of the rides. Like there's a lot of rides, but
it was like 1's like obviously we're not doing like that's
fucked up the zipper. And then there's the Gravitron
where it just spins you around to you puke, not doing that
Hyperloop sketchy. But like I wanted to trauma
bond, you know, couldn't, couldn't convince.
But that's what you're saying is you're trauma bonding with your
therapist here at the haunted house.
I'd rather that over the bounce house because I'm just going to
be sitting. Indians selling a bounce house
also sounds like. Are you?
Are you going to a haunted house with the homies?
Like I'm I would only go to a haunted house if it was like on
a date or like with a girl and. I haven't been to a haunted
house in years. Right.
But that's what I'm saying like, like, are you like signing?
We're sitting down. We're just sitting down in A
room having a therapy session. Sit down in a bounce Sit down in
a bounce castle and you don't have something to do with the
chainsaw coming out you with fake blood I.
Choose that I choose. That and also haunted house is
like a lot of things, like what if it's actually haunted?
Like you believe in ghosts? And then a real haunted house.
Then, then, then. You're the one who believes in
ghosts. We'd both be leaving with
therapy. When did I say I believe in
ghosts? Like at least 10 times on this
on this podcast that you think? Yeah, I do OK.
What are you talking about? To a certain extent, yes.
I don't think everybody think people that leave.
Us, we've established, we've established that you think of.
Even then you could just. I talk about too much crazy shit
to assume that I don't. That'd be like, oh, Joseph
totally thinks like that. There's some sort of Bigfoot.
They'd be like, what? No, I don't.
No. OK, well I get that part, no?
But then there probably is. Oh, OK, maybe, maybe, maybe a
home girl who who got injured in the in the jolly jump figure a
the the the hubby AKA also put his music on the pod.
He believes that Bigfoot exists like for real.
Like he's he's a big Yeti supporter of that.
Like he like golfs a lot and he's just like, convinced.
Obviously not. It depends on the source.
If somebody's telling me a Bigfoot story they got, that's
like AI don't know. I guess you call it like a are.
You telling me like? These an 8 an 8 tooth like meth
rule. If they've got less than 8 teeth
and I'm probably not going to believe them as much.
But if they got like, you know, if they're not too methy, I'm
like, OK. So 9.
So 9 is the limit for teeth. Yeah, if they have 9, I'm like,
OK. How many teeth do you think you
have 'cause I think you like are underestimating how many teeth
it like you? Know but I mean nine would 9
would be. 9's still like. It's not a lot, but remember
this is these are Bigfoot people, so it's not like you
know. I need, I need, I need, I need
double digits on the teeth like if I'm going to like take
anything seriously and. You're never going to find
yourself a good Sasquatch hunter, dude.
I don't want need a Sasquatch. Between 15 and 9 teeth.
Guess what? Guess what?
It turns out that there are no good.
But I want them like in sections, you know, like I want
like there to be a good like four or five in the top maybe
they got. Two in the back, one over.
Here. You want like the like symmetry.
Yeah, no, no, no, they can't be blocks of it, but I'd rather the
blocks not be symmetrical. So it can't be like 04 and then
5 or 6. It's got to be like, you know,
4/2, 1A molar still, that's for chewing.
That's when you're gonna trust them.
Yeah, I trust that guy. Just point me in the direction
of a Sasquatch. Well, my point is there are no
good Sasquatch. And and if he sleeps, if he's
like I haven't slept in days, then it doesn't matter how many
teeth he has. I would think you're just
hearing. Shit.
OK, let let's just play this out like for real.
So if Sasquatch A Yeti exists, big friend.
OK, OK, they're pre human, right?
Pre pre homo sapien, I should say.
Or or let's say like at least around the same time.
Well, yeah, there would be. The timeline.
The timeline is similar, right? One of the biggest, Yeah.
Well, you would be talking about a potential like missing link.
No, no, there's been like what I'm talking about is that that
these are less evolved beings that are being alleged to exist
yet. Yeah, it'd.
Be like, it'd be like a yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nobody can fucking find them, and they're just like the most
elusive motherfuckers on the planet.
Like come on, Like are, are you like a retarded autistic human
who's just oversized Christ, All right, Like as portrayed or are
you like, it's like with Joe Biden, It's like, it's like,
like Joe Biden's like like out here, like dealing with like
Ukraine and like, you know, like the, the Biden crime family.
But he also has like dementia and can't like like, you know,
like wipe his own ass. It's like, well, which one is
it? Is he like this like
international, like criminal or is he fucking like like
incontinent like? I think we, I think both.
I think that when we realized that he was Joe was sailing out
to sea, I think they just stopped as much.
And then they laid off the crime family a little bit.
They're like, Oh no, this motherfucker is as old as we
thought he was. They were saying both at the
same time. I know I'm just a criminal.
Fucking genius who can't wipe his own ass.
Like like if you told me it like an octopus, like we never
received an octopus but you told me an octopus existed but we
never seen it. I believe that.
What do you think is more likely to exist?
Actually no, because this probably be the latter.
So it's actually stupid. What do you mean you're also
breaking up a question? Type that.
Just be cool. That'd be cool if Sasquatch was
real. No, I agree.
I just don't. I just, it's like, come on.
Like we, we we would have figured that out by now.
Yeah. We have some.
Fun. Like, weren't you?
Weren't you the one who was saying like, like we could drop
drones on like people like at the border?
Yeah, I'm just saying if you wanted to actually like surveil
the border, you could like surveil the fucking border and
militarize it if you want to be serious about it.
That's all I ever. Said you're like that's.
And I love when I said that I think for the first time on the
pod, you were like, that is a crazy stance.
I'm like, no, I mean, yeah, that'd be pretty extreme, but
there's a lot of conservatives that would be like, that's way
too much. But I'm just saying if you're
serious about it, then you'd do something about it.
Probably a war crime, but OK. No, it wouldn't be.
How would it be a war crime? To drop drones on innocent
bombs. Not saying bad, I'm not talking
about bombing drones, I'm talking about surveillance
drones. Like infrared shit, right,
right. Well, like high tech stuff that
they can use to track people. I got you when you set it up
though, like when you said it, you were talking about how we
like hit hit that one dude with like the with the missile that
just like chopped him up like it and like on his balance.
Well, yeah. Well, I was just saying.
That's how you set it up. And I'm like, I was like, that's
what you wanted to do? No, what I'm saying is that we
have we, if we have the technology to do that, we have
the technology to just like. Right, right, right.
Right. Make sure nobody crosses if you
don't want them to do without. Hurting them, right?
But we all know that they do want them to cross.
It's just a fucking politics, yeah.
For sure. There'll be question #3 would
you rather eat spaghetti with your hands or soup with a fork
forever? Spaghetti with my hands.
I don't want to eat soup with a fork for forever.
Even if people judge me and think I'm gross because I eat my
spaghetti with my hands, people think I'm a fucking moron if I'm
sitting there eating a gazpacho with a goddamn fork.
I guess spacho is the soup that you go to.
Being wordy and I'm scooping it with a fork.
Cold ass soup is what you're talking about.
Yeah, I'm in Texas right now. It's really hot and everybody's
like, hey, look at this ass who's eating his soup.
It took him 20 minutes to have half of his soup because he
refuses to use a spoon. Like that's crazy.
Like people would think you're nuts, man.
Every time we go to Spaghetti Warehouse, so you get spaghetti,
man. He just uses his hands, dude.
He's crazy, man. How often?
How often are you at Spaghetti Warehouse?
If you are known as the guy, oh, that's the guy who eats his soup
with a fork, people are going to be like, that guy's a fucking
psychopath. Yeah, yes, yeah.
That is like. So is American Psycho.
So is eating. Yes, but.
You could make, but you could make that way more like oh ha ha
ha, and then you just don't fucking eat spaghetti.
But if I have to eat every time I.
Have soup, but OK, so. So you'd rather have soup than
spaghetti is what you're saying? Like.
No, I'd basically just eat it with my fucking hands.
I wouldn't give a shit. I come up with something beyond
Shark Tank, like spaghetti spaghetti gloves.
You said then you don't eat spaghetti.
No, you could if you were really trying to avoid it and not
worried about. It obviously I'd be worried
about it. But eating soup with a fork is
psychotic and people will be afraid of you.
People will be like, oh man, life of the party, that party
animal, the way he eats that. Spaghetti.
What if it's like a chunk with his hands?
Like a chunky soup. No, then you're like, what?
Like picking the beans out, Like get the fuck out of here, dude.
You're going to be in some like business setting, whatever.
It's going to be a very important, you're going to be in
a very important business life. Like big potatoes soup?
And your partner's going to sit there and be like, dude, we got
to book this deal. If you do the fucking soup fork
thing, I'm going to fucking kill you.
Don't do it. And then the soup's going to
come out because it comes with it.
It's lobster bisque. It's going to be super creamy.
And you're going to go straight for the fork.
And that dude's going to be like.
Lobster bisque works if there's chunks of lobster.
Yeah, to get the chunks of lobster.
Otherwise you're going to be like.
Yeah, OK, bro. Bacon bro, Bacon bro they bring.
Out of here. They bring the lobster bisque
with the spaghetti at the same time.
You're telling me spaghetti with the hands is going to look
better? You don't order the spaghetti.
I'm saying saying they come out at the exact same time they put
both of them. OK, then yes, then you could.
Then you could. Just what?
No, no, no. Which one?
You you got? You got soup with the fork.
You got spaghetti with the hands.
They're both in front of you. You got to pick one.
Which one do you think looks better?
Probably. Obviously God.
Damn, but no. But that's also.
The hands is insane. If you keep doing that, it's
going to catch up with you and you're going to be known as the
soup fork guy and you could spaghetti hands guy is is the
party guy and he's a fucking party.
He's spaghetti. And you could do it like, kind
of like, like, like delicately with the spaghetti, be like, you
know, like pick it up with like maybe a couple fingers.
You can make up some story, make it like 7.
It doesn't have to be like, it doesn't have to be like, like
messy. Yeah, you could be calculated
with it, but you will look like a fucking lunatic.
Well, especially if there's a spoon available.
Yeah, you know, there would be and you'd be, you'd refuse to
use it because you couldn't use it.
So that's what I'm saying is people be like, dude, if you do
that shit again and there was a spoon on the table, I'm going to
kill you. You will lose friends over.
What if it was like Spaghettios though?
But it's but. That's so that's different.
That's different. Spaghettios.
There's a whole wrench into it because that's spaghetti.
You use a spoon and it's and and it's and it's spaghetti and it's
soup. Yeah, spaghetti OS mascot.
Weird. That's how you that's that's how
you break the fucking timeline, bro.
It's is. You either have to eat spaghetti
with your hands or soup with a fork and you just eat
spaghettias and the simulation's over.
Yeah, you shoot. It's then you meet the
architect. Yeah, Mr. Anderson, you know,
it's it's fucking Elon and ketamine.
Yeah, yeah. He's like, oh man, I'm so hot,
right? You're like, you were never hot,
dude. That was never a thing.
Like no one ever said that about you.
He's like no no, the the chick out Hot Topic did.
Yeah, she's going to have my kid.
Oh, definitely, Obviously. Yeah, where's her?
I would have Elon's kid if you if you would actually pay like
child support, you know, like what she doesn't allegedly
therapy question #4 would you rather every handshake be a
thumb war or every hug be A and it's deleted out of here for
some reason. What?
What was it? I have to go pull it up.
Hold on, it was every handshake be a thumb war?
How did that get deleted? But I have it saved somewhere
else on man, man we slipping. Hug be oh, oh, I know what it
was. Hug be a tango.
There it is. I don't remember what I put in.
Hug. Be a tango or more, thumb more.
Like like do you have just irrational confidence with your
thumb game? Pretty good at thumb wars.
And that'd be less awkward than like, hey, like nice meeting you
or hey, and you meet someone every time you hug somebody.
You got to do a tango. That'd be a little much.
Kind of tight. Meeting a girl's parents for the
first time. Tango Dip.
Are you hugging? Are you hugging the girl's
parents the first time you meet them?
Maybe. Maybe if they seem nice.
Maybe it's a strong handshake. If you get well, the dad, my
mom's are always like, like, oh, OK.
You know, you gotta break that barrier.
Hey, I like some sweet dads. You give them a firm handshake,
good respect. Like hey, thank you for letting
me spend time. Well, you know, like, like there
is like a difference like in Texas and California, like on
how that shit works. Yeah, 'cause I feel like in
Texas, like it's a hug no matter what almost.
It's a, it's a hug unless otherwise.
And then in California, it's like the opposite.
It's like a handshake, unless like you're feeling comfortable
enough for a hug like in the beginning.
Yeah, and see, with my last name, Huggins, people are like
oh so. You, you just be getting hugs
out here. Yeah, sometimes.
OK, what if they don't even know what the fuck your last name is?
They'll be like, oh, is it OK if I give you a hug?
I'm like, yeah, sure. But then also like, but both of
us. My name My name is Huggins.
I have, but but we'd be managing people like it's like, I'm not
trying to hug anybody. No, but you know, sometimes
people need hugs. No, I agree.
But also recently people have been been trying to hug me, you
know, because I've been going through some shit but I got like
4 broken ribs and a fractured. Oh, and the boner gives distance
too. It's like, hey, you got.
To I had to say that so close to my roommate today.
You gave me a hug and I was like OK but also watch out bro.
I'm like, yeah, back up, dude. You have to.
You don't have to take your keys off the belt loop.
Put them in the pocket, man. Yeah, I thought more over every
hug be a tango. That'd just be obnoxious.
It would take forever seeing. Your why is it forever?
Does it be a TT? Doesn't have to be forever.
If if it takes me 10 seconds, 10 seconds.
If it was everybody got a 10 second hug.
That would be creepy. No, it's a tango.
So a 10 second tango that would take a while.
That means that it would literally take 10 seconds.
That means if I went, I met up with family and there was like 6
people there, would take me a minute to hug everyone and say
hello. Fuck that, hey what's up?
He wants a hug, cool. Boom boom boom.
Get them that way. Boom, let's see.
Let's go sit down. I mean, it would be kind of
tight, like, like, especially if like, whoever you're hugging is
is just now involved in the tango.
Well that's they would be, so they would have to be either
they fight you on it and not be into it.
OK, well then, well, I don't like that part.
Yeah, exactly or. I want, I want it to be just
like the hug is consensual, I want the tango to be consensual
as well. But if the thumb war was
consensual, that'd be tight. No, I agree.
Job interview, shake hands with the guy you're about to
interview and you beat him in a thumb war.
Then you sit down and ask me questions.
I just whipped your ass dude. What if?
Yeah, like real talk like your boy.
You know, we we've talked about the irrational confidence.
I found out that there was a tournament for like money for
rock, paper scissors and for years and probably still right
now I'm just like trying to be more humble.
I think I could win that tournament for real.
Rock paper scissors. That's what that's what the
thumb more. Well, I don't.
I just heard this is like I haven't like researched it but
like start training soon as I heard I was like I was like, Oh,
I'd win that shit. But like they're it's like
there's no rhyme or reason why anybody would win.
It would just be a pure luck. No, there's got to be some sort
of strategy too. Like like there might be tells
on like some people. Well, not just tells like what's
the most probable and being odds, like what's the most
probable picked thing or you know, whatever.
No, there's. What?
What do people pick first? Most paper, rock or scissors.
Right, but then, but then you, but then you have to think about
like that person's thinking about that too.
So then they're thinking about, you know, it's like a fucking
chess match, but it's just random.
But just like the irrational confidence that I would like
definitely win that tournament. It was just, I think it's funny,
I was thinking about it the other day.
So do you show that rock is used 35% of the time?
Scissors around 30. We're talking about tournament
professional players, bro. We're not talking about your
average Joe. It's a Reddit threat.
How to mathematically win at rock paper scissors.
You could do a little research. Take the game by storm, man No.
I'm sure like there's an edge to it, but I feel like everybody
who's entering into the tournament has already done the
research. So it's like you got to do like
counter. It's like it's like
counterintelligence. It's like, it's like, I know
that you think that I, you know, rock is 35% and then I might
come out with that so that you're going to do this.
So then I have to counter that, you know what I'm saying?
Like. Strategy gets hard and it's to
the point where it's just fucking random and makes no
sense that you would anybody would think that they were.
Like I guarantee you, there's no repeat champion rock paper
scissors tournament winners. Back-to-back.
No, I mean, that'd be to talk about underrated.
Then you'd be that'd be GOAT status.
Have you ever won back-to-back Rock, Paper Scissors
championships? Yeah, that person would be a
legend. A legend.
We would know that person's name for sure.
It's like, what? What?
What's the dude who eats all the fucking hot dogs?
Joey Chestnut. Joey Chestnut, Like, you know
what I'm saying? Like that dude goes.
Out there scarfing down glizzies and we know his name.
That's glizzying it up. That's right.
That was for you, Jen's ears, which is like.
Shout out, shout out. I've had the pleasure.
I don't really talk about work much, but I got to train
somebody for the past like 5-6 weeks it's been a fucking blast.
And she just went off. That was great.
It was she just went off to wherever she was going to go and
one day we were working and it's like early like 630 get there,
shit sucks and walks in fucking glizzy.
She picked up at like QuikTrip. She was like, yeah, man, I was
eating this hot. She's like, yeah, breakfast,
man. It's like a.
Six start Start paying your boy. She was like, she was like 6.
She was like 6:00 AM. Glizzy just gets it done
sometimes. And I was like, fuck yes.
Like that's not for me, but fuck yes.
Not kidding, like when I when your boy was doing pool boy shit
the the gas station like that was in between my office where I
get the pool boy truck to the pool boy supply place.
We're selling glizzies. 3 for a dollar. 10 That's a steal.
Then I walked in one day and it was 3 for 298 and I asked him.
I was like what? What happened here 'cause I just
found out about it. Like like, 'cause it's like 7:00
AM. Like I'm not really trying to
eat a fucking hot dog at 7:00 AM, but like that's steal 3 hot
dogs for a fucking dollar. And I asked the lady about it,
it was, it was you get one for for $0.99 or you can get 3 for
298, which is actually more money than if you just bought
one, one and one. And but it changed all of a
sudden, right? It used to be 3 for a dollar.
So I'm like, what happened? And then she told me like the
owner like, like had been been like bitching about this for
years, how he's like losing money on the hot dogs and then
finally raised the price. And I'm like, OK, but like, you
realize that like you're charging more if you buy three
than if you bought three single ones individually.
And then I I went in there the next day and they had changed
the price. Shout out.
I mean, I was like, what are you guys doing?
Like you're not hooking anybody up by like like this.
Like discount buy three paid pay 1 cent more like that's the how
that shit works. One gallon is 5 bucks or I could
sell you 10 gallons for $500. No, it'd be like, it'd be like
for like 1 gallon's 5 bucks or I could sell you 10 for 51.
Yeah, it'd be like, wait, what? Like, yeah.
Oh, that sounds great, babe. We should get that deal.
But then like, put a sticker out there for like the deal, yeah,
after you just raised the price on everybody who's like stoked
they're getting 3 hot dogs for a dollar for like the last 10
years or whatever the fuck. Yeah, and you know, he's just in
the back office like fuck. And then they would give you
like all the condiments and shit for free, which got kind of
messy. And so I just like.
I don't. Know yeah, the public condiment
stations are always pretty rough.
Well, they'll give you like the packets.
It's just like, it's like it's 7:00 AM, dude.
Like I'm eating a hot dog and I'm like getting like relish
like on myself. Like it's like I, I, it's like I
only did it like maybe twice. That's a live commitment, dude.
It's like it's but. Yeah, the chick glizzy 6:00 AM
Glizzy ketchup won't. Is that what we're calling her?
6:00 AM Heard she's Queen of Elizabeth, now Queen of.
God, I like it. I.
Like it. Thanks.
Yeah, but you got 6:00 AM glizzy ketchup only.
That's rough work. I was impressed.
I was like. That's why girl.
I was like, that's what I thought.
Was that did she have the caucasity?
Half Caucasity. When you hit me with the
ketchup, your boy's putting mayonnaise on his just because
they would give it to me. So they give me in the.
Middle. Of course he did.
You walked in. White.
Boy, they're like, oh, you want? He wants mayonnaise.
No, I just he needs that. He wants I just they asked me
like like like again. I did this like twice but like.
That boy, White white, his Mama put.
No, I just like, give me all the commentments that you have
because I didn't know what they had, and it would be relish,
mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup. And it's like, well, I got all
the shit. Like might as well do it then.
It's like getting fucking messy. It's like, dude, I have work to
fucking get to. Like, you know what I'm saying?
Like what am I doing? Like eating a hot dog.
Yeah, this white boy wants some mayonnaise, Dude, his mom used
to put Miracle Whip in in his in his baby bottle.
I grew up on Similac. I grew up on Miracle Whip and
titty milk. My dad's, my dad's mom, my
grandma worked in a mayonnaise factory in Philly.
That's the whitest shit I've ever heard.
The most Irish shit you've ever heard?
Yeah, mayonnaise factory is ain't white.
Yeah, it's like a office yellow hue.
It's like bro coming out something like mayonnaise
everyday. Shout out Gigi.
Dude, that's gotta be tough. Like on God.
Is that what we're calling my grandma?
So it's called my grandma. So grandmas are just Gigi.
I called her little grandma and then and then big, and then in
my mom's big grandma, even though she wasn't big.
It was just that my dad's. I don't know if that's what I
think. What's the term?
She died young. She seemed old, but she died
young from lung cancer. She fucking power smoked.
Damn Mayonnaise Factory will fucking do that to you.
Dudes like fucking shit power. Smoking.
She got, yeah, she got, she got her pension too, so she earned
that shit, dude, for sure. Well let's give her a shout out
though she did make this blanket for me when I was like 8.
OK, shout out. Yeah, still have it.
Oh yeah, I think every blanket I have my grandma made and I've
got a shit ton of them or she got me.
I like I could literally just build a pallet, a big comfy king
size bed pallet of blankets if I wanted to.
So and you can't get rid of. Them you're like a polygamist,
bro. Like you can't.
You can't. Well, like, like, like you
can't. Well, but they're all for my
grandma, and that's her whole thing.
It's like, well, it's Christmas. Chill the fuck out like.
No, give them a hand them over. That's sweet.
Well, to me it's like she made me one.
There was when I was in California last time, there was
a Kelly green, Eagles green one that she knitted in like the 70s
or something that she still had that she was like, yeah, if you
want to take it. I was like, fuck, yeah.
So I still have it. Like it's on my couch.
I use it all the time. It's great, but it's big Fuck
off. Kelly green knitted.
And she's like, oh, I guess that is Kelly Eagles green.
I was like, hell yeah. We're about to get into Kelsey
Eagles Green here in a second. Do you need a break?
Yeah, that was, that was kind of like a longer therapy question.
We're we're almost 2 hours in, we're an hour 40 with the
runtime, you were 10 minutes late, so we're about an hour
and. 1/2 yeah, whatever, but with the audio there is no
break. We'll be right the fuck back.
All right y'all, Now we are back for the articles.
Joseph, start us off. First article.
Oh no, one second. You know it always does this.
I don't know why. Boom.
AP News Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
Travis Kelsey's love story from friendship bracelets to
engagement rings, 'cause they got engaged today.
Do you give a shit? I do partially A cause Miss
Avalon was talking to me about it.
We'll just call her that. And also our homie, you know,
his brother is a Hall of Famer. Eagle.
I just think it is. I don't know, like I have a song
that that says like, I have no desire to date Taylor Swift.
I just know one day it's just going to be my turn.
So like, I hope they don't get divorced and I don't have to do
that. But like, I, I don't know.
What do you think? I used to like make jokes like
if like Adele and like Taylor Swift, like like ever like got
into a relationship together and then broke up, like the fucking
hits that would come out of that, you know, like, like I
feel like people forget that like Taylor Swift used to just
be like a homie hopper. She's always been a homie
hopper. I know but like but then she
became like icon billionaire like she.
Became like the she's toxic as fuck.
She is the future. She is like what future is for
guys. That's what Taylor Swift is for
girls. Maybe she's the problem.
She has a song that says I'm the problem.
I know, but like I but I literally made a joke about like
hey, maybe you're the fucking problem and then she came out
with a fucking song called that. But then also boy Morgan Wallin
came out with I'm the problem and like your boy just covered
it, might be releasing it so. Yeah, I mean, I like good for
them. I don't give a shit.
They're. Like 35, they announced in the
news in a joint Instagram post on Tuesday.
It's the last chapter of the couple's love story, one that
spanned 2 years. 2 That's what it says.
Or latest, Sorry, latest chapter.
I was like last chapter. Yeah.
I was like was never used whenever you swooping 2 Super
Bowls an an album announcement in the highest grossing tour of
all time. I mean, I guess there was
something about friendship bracelets.
He gave her a friendship bracelet.
If you met her, he if he couldn't meet Swift and
presented her with a bracelet with his phone number.
She doesn't meet anybody or at least she didn't want to meet
me. So I took it personally quipped
on the podcast on Instagram. Anyone know how to get a whole
get a bracelet to at Taylor Swift asking for a friend.
So he was shooting a shot and she was like, hey, hey, hey, So
I mean. This is what I say about like,
what is it 50 Shades of Grey? What what's the book?
Is it the? 50 Shades of grey.
Is that a book, right? Yeah, that's what it's called.
Yeah. Like it's like, if that dude's
like not a billionaire, that's like a like a law and order SVU
episode, you know, it's, it's like you giving your number out
to Taylor Swift on a fucking friendship bracelet doesn't work
unless you're the best tight end in the fucking league.
You know, it's like it's like, it's like things that seem like
really sweet and nice are only sweet and nice if it's like
coming from like someone that you would want to like actually
hang out with. Otherwise it's creepy.
Like that's that's creepy if he's like just like a random
dude, but it but it's romantic that.
Yeah, but we've been so bombarded with this shit that
it's just like, obnoxious. I don't feel that bombarded by
it. We whooped their ass in the
fucking Super Bowl. In the Super Bowl this time, but
I'm just saying at one point it was like T Swift, ice spice.
It was just like the most random shit that was.
Fine with it. It was.
Annoying. It was annoying.
I mean, you know, like I do like to get us like try to get us
like cancelled, or at least like that's great, attempted to get
cancelled. Like, you know, like hate on the
Swifties, talk shit about K pop. We never come out to Bay hive.
Never, never, not once. But will not.
I won't. I probably would.
Joseph would Joseph likes to talk shit about strong black
women like Oprah. Oh, wow, wow.
That's because Oprah's a monster.
Somebody agreed with me. I was talking about this, and
they were like, no, they were like, absolutely.
It doesn't. There's no way she hasn't done
some horrible. I know, but I just, I would feel
like that you would have more hesitation than than.
Oprah, she's got her best friends flying.
Gayle King's flying up in a fucking penis ship with Katy
Perry. She's If there's a deep state,
Oprah is the deep state. No shit.
But that's fine. That's that should be like my
that's called progress. Latest progress.
Latest edition to Book Club of the Month Mein Kampf.
Oh Jesus, 6 slaps. They're like, oh, it's like,
whoa, bro, Oprah's gone wild. Yeah, 200 years ago.
She's like, like, you know, running behind Harriet Tubman,
like trying to get the fuck out of like Alabama did.
So the fact. Color The Color Purple too.
Yeah, my point is like is like that, that the fact that Oprah
is the deep state. I love how you can't get over
that. I'm that I'm just not trusting
of Oprah. Like well, well.
Well, it triggered me when you said that you would talk shit
about the Bay Hav because I just would never would do that.
But I feel very talk Cassidy up to talk shit about Swifties but
I also feel like that it would just get the numbers up.
No do Taylor Swift's lame as fuck.
I don't think she's lame as fuck.
OK, OK. I was saying that like, put me
in a writer's room, like for music with Ed Sheeran, Jay-Z,
Nas, I'll come out the winner every time.
And then somebody said, what about Taylor Swift?
And I said, I actually feel like that she deserves to be in that
room. Like I'll still win, but she
just, she just deserves like she's a good songwriter.
Like so this one time I like manipulated this guy and then I
Oh my God, and I and I do you think I have a song of it?
What do you mean, dude? There's like, there's like a
timeline where it shows. Like like.
Relationship relationship. Well, John Mayer is a scumbag,
so if anything John Mayer would set her up to become.
A Slack What about what about our boy kind of toxicity?
What about our boy over, you know?
All the other dudes, she the. Roadhouse, Roadhouse.
She she made it to where? Who I I I I.
I can't stop loving you, you know.
Who am I talking? About she's she's the problem.
Gyllenhaal. Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal.
Yeah, yeah. You're telling me that like
she's. Easy.
She played both Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer, like probably
those dudes. Those dudes are like fuck boy
central. They got played by Taylor Swift
or she just is just too vulnerable.
Then then she purposely gets in toxic relationships to write
songs about them. No, I think that she is the
problem at some point, at some point, at some point, you would
think that, but the fact that it's worked out here, but also
it's worked out because like Travis Kelsey is going to Super
Bowls, you know, and like is like legit and like, you know,
and he is like an actual athlete.
He's not like an actor or like a or like a songwriter.
You know, it's like, I feel like, like he she met her match.
Like he is the Taylor Swift of tight ends, right?
I would disagree, but. I mean, you don't think?
There's I don't think. That Tony Gonzalez and like
Antonio Gates and and and and him, it's like that's the three.
No, you'd have to have Rob Gronkowski in that.
Conversation. Gronkowski is way more dominant.
OK, how about this? How about this top five?
Yeah, he's top five. Probably, and Taylor Swift's
probably top five. Shannon Sharp.
I take Shannon Sharp over. And.
That's fine. But my point is that he is elite
like she is. I'm not saying she's the best.
I got it. Look, you are pro Kelsey Swifty.
Well, I'm I'm I'm pro his brother and so so I just got to
buy with the. Family.
No, I'm in good form. It's easy to hate on him.
It's just for me. And I've gone out of my way to
shit on Swifty's but like again, for the clicks I think she like
I respect her. No, I mean, I guess I respect.
I feel like she got she got so like, you know, like we're
talking about like fuck boy phases.
She was like, I wouldn't say fuck girl phase.
I think she was like in her like exploring date they.
Call it. They call it their hoe phase.
I don't think that's what it was though.
I think it's like a different version of the same.
Hoe era. No, I don't think she was being
a hoe though. Like, I think she was being
like. A serial monogamist.
Yeah. So she had to be with somebody.
Right. Yeah, there that that's that's
what she. So it's like if she's always
with somebody and a relationship doesn't work out, how much work
are you actually doing on yourself before you jump into
another one? No, for sure, and it feels like
this time it's worked out. The Instagram post is a little
odd. They just have marketing teams
that they're surrounded by, people that are coming up with
ways to market them. And for Travis, as his career is
winding down because he is losing the ability, he's not
what he once was. He's so great, but that's not
his fault. He's a 30.
Five year old he's transitioning to. 35 year old tied in so he
this is going to podcast the transition that they that she is
going to help facilitate him and his transition out of football
and into something else like he's going to be doing him and
his brother will both be calling games.
And it's not that Travis Kelsey is nearly as care.
He's not as charismatic. He's not as good as a public
speaker. He's not.
He is not. He did have his own reality show
and that's actually like was my first like real introduction was
his like VH1 reality show where it was like where he was dating
women and I thought he was like a complete fucking asshole.
And then like as like the years have gone by, I'm like, it
doesn't seem like that bad of a guy actually.
No, he's just like a dude bro. He's like.
No, he's fine. Like like, but no on that.
If you ever go back and watch that fucking reality show,
you're like, you're like, dude, what are you doing?
Like, you know, it's like you're acting like Jacks like on
Vanderpump Rules, like and you're like a fucking like Hall
of Famer. Like what?
Like what are we? What are we doing here?
Yeah. But it worked out.
You know what? You want to throw some money on
this? On what?
I think they'll be OK. This is contingent on them
actually getting married, but once they get married I think
they'll be married for at least five years.
I think longer but like over under 5.
I mean I would take over 5. For sure, yeah, yeah.
Like I like, I feel like this is it.
Like I feel like it worked out and and until the CTE kicks in.
Taylor. Until, yeah, until he starts
acting wild, like he's going to fuck it up.
She's not going to fuck it up. CTE got me not knowing what to
do. I will shot her with a 22.
You're like, whoa, Travis. We've already we were seeing
like his his brother wild out like, you know, just like on
like national TV, like, you know what I'm saying, like like.
Yeah, but he's awesome. And then no.
Yeah, I know. He's awesome.
And everybody tries to copy him. So it's not like, authentic, you
know? But Travis Kelce is definitely
like the douchier of the two brothers in my opinion.
Yeah, I mean depends on your definition of.
Dude, he'd be he'd be the dude that you'd want to go out and
like try to talk to girls with go out to the.
Bar disagree, disagree. Hard disagree.
You don't think between him or Jason?
Jason, Jason. I'd much rather be hanging.
Yeah, I guess he's got the dad. Yeah, well, that's like, if
you're just hanging out with, I'd rather hang out with Jason,
I'd go party with Travis. And go with girls like like like
he's having a good, good ass time.
My point is like, he's a little wild.
And I'm just not sure if he's wild because that's just who he
is or because he was snapping balls for the Eagles for 10
years straight. Don't go into fucking nose
tackles, you know? True.
Next article US restaurant chain cracker barrel scraps new logo
after backlash this is the weirdest shit the people were
that upset the like the old man who probably is racist just what
just I look at the depiction I'm looking at the logo right now
and that guy is leaning in that chair on that barrel like he
woke up inside the end of your boys put out your.
Boys put out cover art of like, you know, like on his songs like
and like these people don't even exist half the time and
sometimes they're like. That's a dude.
That dude exists that. No, I'm just saying like, like
it's not a real person. Once was, and he was probably
racist. You think so?
I can say it was it was pre pre AI you.
Go you go back far enough in time.
Like more likely than not, like your family was probably racist.
Well, you know, it's actually weird is like there's like it's
like a parabola if that's the right word.
Like where race didn't even exist until like 1760 where this
dude like wrote a book about it. Like like the concept of race
was not even a thing even though shout out Slovakia, listener of
the pod Slovakia. Slav is the original word for
slave and Russians used to enslave people from the Czech
Republic and that's why they're called Slovakians, the original
slavers, slave owners. Fun facts for the pod Dark
Alert. US restaurant chain Cracker
Barrel has abandoned its plans to adopt A new logo fog
following fierce backlash. We thank our guests for sharing
your voices and love over Cracker Barrel.
We said we would listen. We have our new logo is going
away and our old timer will remain, the company said on a
social media post. Cracker Barrel received
criticism after it unveiled a modern version of its logo,
which scrapped the Old Timer in quotes figure.
President Donald Trump was among those slamming the rebrand
applauded the reversal. Congratulations Cracker Barrel
on changing your logo back to what it was.
All of your fans very much appreciate it.
The new version of the logo was unveiled along with the new menu
on the 19th of August. Removed an image of an old man
sitting in a chair and leaning against a barrel known as the
Old Timer and replaced it with an emblem featuring only the
chain's name. That sparked accusations as a
company known as a southern style comfort food with
nostalgic atmosphere was abandoning it's abandoning its
roots. President Trump urged the brand
to return to his old logo and then admit a mistake based on
customer response. The full poll and manage the
company better than ever before. He said the chain had got a
billion dollars worth of free publicity if they play their
cards right, adding make Cracker Barrel a winner again.
You know what we should do? What A.
Fucking. Tool, you know what we should
do? Start a fucking TikTok campaign.
Why? Why are you calling a Cracker
barrel? You're calling me a cracker.
It's like using the N word for white people, no?
I couldn't. I guarantee you if Trump said
like using the word cracker to talk about your company, all of
these people who are upset about them changing the logo would be
like, yeah, why are you calling us a cracker?
I'm on my Ritz white boy crack. David Johnson, CEO, branding
agency Strategic Vision PR Group, said even.
My Cracker Barrel. Oh, I'm back the fuck up.
Do you even like it? Not really.
It's kind of weak. I've been there.
I. Feel.
Like it's it's pretty lame. Like I could DoorDash it and
like I looked at it a couple times and I'm like, I'm like
like because to me. It's like Waffle House for life
bro. OK, well, we don't have those
out here, so. Come on, why don't you don't?
No bro it. Would crush out there.
No shit. I don't get it.
It's like how in and out that is like barely like outside of
California, it's like it's creeping out, but it's like
there's. A bunch in DFW now.
No, I know. But like there used to not be
like, Oh yeah, used to be like one in like Las Vegas, one in
like Arizona and the rest were in California.
It was like on. Yeah, why does shit always end
up in like Scottsdale? I'm like why are?
We well, that's where that's, you know, where Scottsdale is.
That's Cougarville bro. True, True.
True. That's like literally that's
where divorced 4 year old women go to fuck for the audience.
What they did wrong is they went against their brand, their brand
story, which was the old logo that reflected the southern
whimsical atmosphere in the stores.
The other shares, those died 7% after the announcement.
You know what that reminds me of is like when they did New Coke?
Do you remember that? We were super young.
They did like, a yeah, like, so Coca-Cola changed up the flavor
and it just like, bombed. Like probably cost them billions
and billions of dollars. Like, just like whoever the fuck
made that decision probably like got off to like Jeff, Jeff
Epstein, like, you know, just like, here's the.
No, they just got, they just got sent to the island and he's
like, why are you sending me then?
Like, oh, you'll find out. Yeah, you're dumb, bro.
Yeah, Guantanamo like, but Eptonamo.
Yeah, I got a rhyme where it's like I prefer New Coke over
classic they just because it's controversial, because nobody
thinks that. Like nobody liked it.
Yeah. But I was talking about cocaine.
The announcement there's, the company said at Cracker Barrel,
it's always been and always will be about serving up delicious,
warm, delicious food, warm welcomes and a kind country and
the kind of country hospitality that feels like family.
As a proud American institution, our 70,000 hard working
employees look forward to welcoming to meet you to the
table soon. It's founded in Lebanon, TN.
There are no more than 600 across the US.
They have a front porch with rocking chairs and a gift shop.
Overhyped gift shop. Gift shop sucks.
Hard to disagree. Like I, I, I'm telling you
there's one right here in my. Cock Cassidy, dude, it's get
you. You see that Cracker Barrel in?
Your, I was, no, I was just surprised by the gift shop also,
though I did buy a bunch of I forget what they are like what
it was, it was some sort of like sweet treat that like doesn't
like it's like not available like other places.
So I bought like 3 different like flavors of it and it was
like $40. I was like, what the fuck?
Like I just thought I was like buying like, you know, like some
like $3 cupcakes type shit. But like the little trinkets
like mushrooms and stuff. I was like surprised by it was
like a little bit trippy. Be trippy, man.
Well then my point is like, it wasn't like all like hardcore.
It wasn't like fucking confederate flag type shit.
So they're, well, obviously. Well, I don't know.
About they sell that in the back.
They sell that in the back. Yeah, come on, man.
Over with the roofies. So I was watch this guy and he
was talking about all of these rebrandings.
Pizza Hut, McDonald's, Burger King, how Starbucks, and now
Cracker Barrel, how they're changing the concept, Waffle
House, changing the concepts, the designs of what their
property looks like. Because like, the largest
commercial real estate owner in the entire US is McDonald's.
So they own all of the buildings that they put a McDonald's in.
If you open up a franchise, you pay them rent to McDonald's and
then you operate the business. And the locations are strategic.
So it's like right off the freeway, you know, it's like,
it's like it's so it's like actual good real estate.
Yeah, you're exactly right. I learned about this in Business
School. So what they what they're what's
happening right now with a lot of these brands, Cracker Barrel
is the porches, the lighting, the logo, the design, the specs
that make a Cracker Barrel or Cracker Barrel or a McDonald's
with a play place with the crazy roof that we used to always have
when we were kids. Those are so specific and niche
that if you want to sell that building at that place fails.
It's harder to get rid of the building because it's so, so
specific. Like how many times have you
seen an old Pizza Hut that had dine in that's closed, that's
still sitting there because it's got that weird Pizza Hut roof
with the red? Tie, I see what you're saying.
And so be so. A lot of these companies are now
taking a switch to a more like neutral, beige, Gray, very, very
bland building and doing away with.
A lot of get the fuck out of there if it doesn't.
If they want to get this, if they want to get the fuck out of
there, it's easy to sell. He used an example of he's like,
there's if you put a, if there's an old, if there's an old Pizza
Hut, an old design Pizza Hut and you sell it and you put a Vape
store in it, people are going to be like the Vape store.
It's going to be, yeah, the Vape store that's in that old Pizza
Hut. But that's actually actually, I
mean, your boys in sales and marketing, you could like, spend
that like, pretty like, tightly like, like that's like an old
T-shirt like that you had in high school that like, you like,
got over. But then like now you're 35 and
it's cool again. You know, it's like that.
You're wearing it like, you know what I'm saying?
It's like, bro, the dispensary. Is it the old Blockbuster?
Like that's. Yeah.
But block. But Blockbuster was pretty
neutral. But you.
Know what I'm saying? OK.
Like like I was just thinking of businesses that have gone out
like. Like like like if it's an old
Rosa's Cafe, Rosa's Cafe is in. Texas, or like an old school
Taco Bell. Yeah, like those are really
hard. To but it but it's a dispensary.
Yeah, I know. So it's going to be a business
like that that's going to want the property.
But if you want somebody to come in and buy it and sell it for
top dollar, the more neutral it is, the the less you have, the
more it the property. 'S right, right, right, right
but. So they're looking to increase.
Their profits on the back end total totally get it.
I I get why they would be doing it like trying to make it like
neutral in case I have to get the fuck out case shit hits the
fan which it seems like it probably will in like 3 years
whenever your boy like decides not to leave.
You know Velveeta, Voldemort, I get that.
But my point is if they had a guy like me, I saw the shit out
of that. I I'd make it like a fucking
value add. I'd I'd make them pay more than
it looked like a fucking McDonald's.
Then you should get your real estate license.
So we'll see. I mean, I don't get the big fuss
over the logo and the goofy old white guy, but.
I mean, I I do because people are stupid.
Well, I know I get that part. I just don't know how they get
to that. There's the the stupidity.
I don't. I can't make that.
Leap Well, well, what I was going to say was like, just look
at our boys over at HBOHBO Max, HBO Now, HBO, Oh yeah, just Max,
they, they changed it seven times in like 3 years.
Like that's the that is the epitome of what we're talking
about. And they could get away with it
because they're HBO. No, they could.
I mean, they barely got away with it except for the boy David
Zasloff. Like the CEO just gets paid $51
million a fucking year. Like shit.
The stocks like in the fucking like gutter.
It's like you have like the most like iconic, like like respected
brand in media, HBO. Everybody thinks like anything
that comes out on HBO is going to probably be good, right?
And then he's like, now it's just called Max.
I was like, what are you a fucking moron?
Like, but that that's kind of like what you're saying is like
it's like, it's like they just like are trying to be generic.
They're trying to be like risk adverse when it's like.
When it comes to certain things, but it's.
So hard to build that brand equity like, you know, like
you'll like, it would take decades for some company, like
for Netflix. Do you even get respect like HBO
has? You know, yeah.
And you just piss it away by like, 'cause you want to just
like, change the shit up. Yeah, article #3 AI dead bots
are persuasive and researchers say Researchers say they're
primed for monetization. AI avatars of deceased people,
or dead bots are showing up in new and unexpected contexts,
including where they have the power to persuade.
They're giving interviews advocating for tougher gun laws,
such as when the family of Joaquin Oliver, victim of a 2018
Parkland shooter, created a beanie wearing AI avatar of him
to speak with journalist Jim Acosta in July.
This is just another advocacy, advocacy tool to create the
urgency that makes people urgency of making the things
change. Weird anime.
A bearded AI avatar of Chris Pelkey, A deceased victim of a
road rage incident in Arizona, gave an impact statement at a
sentencing of a man who fatally shot him.
Stanley created the dead bot. I feel that it was genuine, said
the judge after hearing the AI generated impact statement and
then handed down the maximum sentence.
Well, so did the judge. Didn't know that it was AI.
No, he did. He just said like, I feel like
that. I feel like I feel that that was
genuine. I hate when people say that,
that yeah. So he heard the statement and it
was just read by an AI. When people say that that like
the the word that the word that twice in a row, yeah, I hate, I
hate when I when I get that in an e-mail and I have to like
figure it. Out.
Hey, this is Judge Todd Lang. We got another ang in here.
Dude. We had Yang Lang and Lang Mark's
on his hang. Hey, got him looking like Ang.
That's a take K-47 line free take K.
If if Oprah was born 200 years ago, she'd be Hang.
So yeah, so he this road rage guy killed Pelkey, killed Pelkey
and his family, wrote a statement and then created AAI
generated version of the shooting victim to.
I cannot believe, cannot believe that the defense, the defense
like let that be entered into court.
It's an impact statement, so you can't really do shit at that
point. He's already been.
Yeah, you can. I guess you could.
It's AI though. Objection.
No, no, no. It has to be like given to the
defense ahead of time. Like this is the evidence that
we're going to provide and then has to be agreed upon by the
judge. So like this is OK unless they
just like Willy nilly just like fucking played it.
And so like, oh, that'd be weak. It's not even going to be that
believable. And then they play it and he's
like, shit, that was really good.
Fuck, I'm done. I'm screwed.
Yeah, well, they're not shitty lawyers.
The digital afterlife industry. That is going on back the fuck
up. OK, so So what you're saying is
these people are dead because like we've talked about on the
podcast about like uploading your memory, you know, so like
so this is just like AI generated of what this person
might have said, but then it looks like.
Or you'd be. But you could.
Well, no. You could make it say whatever
you wanted. So you so like the mom could
just type out like a statement and then just and then make it
look like like her dead son was saying it.
And that's immiscible in court. That's what we're doing.
Judge said that that, that, that, that, that, that looks
genuine. Dude, that that, that, that,
that that seems not fair and. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
Obviously not OK And like that's a that's a slippery ass slope,
if that's even like continuing past like this.
The. Also, by the way, by the way,
Joseph and I had a special interview with a guy, a bail
bondsman, the the spokesperson of bail bondsman in Texas about
cashless bail. Yeah, I just saw a headline
earlier today that Trump passed a bill that ending cashless
bail. Quick update.
The afterlife industry, which manages a person's digital
assets after death, is expected to quadruple in size to nearly
$80 billion over the next decade.
That includes the creation of dead bots.
The more immersive these bots become, the more technology
companies are exploring their commercial potential, causing
concern in the research community and elsewhere.
This is powerful rhetoric with a dead bot because it's tapping
into all that emotion, longing and vulnerability it, said New
Yorker cartoonist Amy Cruzenwheel Kurtzville.
Her work? OK, So what if what if it was
like somebody like Mark Twain? Wait, he's just going to say the
N word and be like sorry man, it was my time.
No. Product of the.
Times no what? Like not even.
But like what? Mark Twain was like, like, like,
like, like. More progressive than I know.
I'm just What would Mark Twain say that would be relevant to
now? Oh.
All all sorts of shit. I just but.
Like, no, I know. Well, you could make him say
whatever, but I'm saying is it'd be it depends like the connect.
Like if you just read like, like, just like quotes from Mark
Twain, they like, like easily could be applied to like, like
what's happening right now, like he's like.
People would use him in a way that's not going to be for that
It's. Like, well, no, I get that.
I get that. No, I get that part.
My, my, OK, this is what I'm saying.
Is there a difference between using like historical famous
dead people AI versus your son died in a car accident when he
was 27 and we're using it in a court case.
You know what I'm saying? And, and it's like, it's like,
like like the Tupac, like hologram at fucking like
Coachella, Coachella or. Whatever.
Yeah, yeah, Coachella, you know, like that's what I'm trying to
say. It's like, like, like there's a
balance to this. And like I used to sell like
Zippos wholesale and like I would and like they would buy
like a display for like 190, like 192.
And then they would just like ask me to pick them out.
And it's just like all like Bob Marley, Tupac.
It's like all like all Jimi Hendrix, you know, like it's
like all these like families like cashing in on like their
namesake and it feels like that would like I could see that
happening like with AI and. But it's a Gray area.
So like, that's what I'm saying. Are they going to have to pay
these families, right? Well, if they don't have to.
No, no, they will. No, that's what I'm saying.
I think these families are going to license the shit out, No?
Probably. But using it in court?
Are we kidding? Unless it was like a suicide
note that that person wrote or something you know?
Yeah. That makes sense to me, 'cause
then maybe it's like, OK, it's like maybe like that letter
doesn't describe or like maybe it's like it, it like you get
like the impact of what they were saying more like if you get
like AAI video of them saying it, but as long as it was like
their words. But if it's just like somebody
else writing for them and then making it look like them like
any of like that AI like vocals that I put out like on my music
I wrote like, you know, it's like I like I would never like
have AI like fucking like like put vocals out and write the
shit for me. It's like, it's like, Nah, it's
like I'm either writing it and singing it myself or covering
somebody else's song, or if it's AI doing the vocals, like I'm
writing the lyrics, like I'm not like just like letting like a
robot just like handle this and like, I don't know, it just
feels awful to me. Yeah, this is a quote.
Ethically, I think using dead people is not sound at all, said
Camille Chang, head of content for AI marketing company Next,
which is currently developing AI avatars for professional
basketball teams to use in advertising campaigns.
Only they're working with living athletes, not dead ones.
Why the hell would I want my grandma to say anything that's
not authentic? Alex Quinn, CEO of Authentic
Interactions Incorporated, the parent company of Deadbot
creator Story File. It would really turn me off as a
consumer, and I don't think that leaves us with any high level,
with a high level of reputation. But Quinn said he's absolutely
interested in seeing if there's other ways to make Deadbots ad
friendly. One scenario could involve
inserting ads into people's conversations with dead bots.
Just like how traditional commercial breaks pop up during
TV shows, we can instruct those avatars to actually probe for
intubation. You know, who's your favorite
athlete? What jersey might you be
interested in? So I mean, yeah, I mean, that's
what I'm saying is even he's like, that's terrible.
But I am interested to see how we can make money off of this
and fucking use it. But that I don't like it.
But you know what? I like it, so it's gonna happen.
It's just kind. Of weird, you know, you know
who's gonna be the first like, well, I wouldn't say first, but
for sure, like, I don't know, victim's the right word but.
Elvis. No, Snoop Dogg do.
You think? Snoop Dogg's in once he passes
away, God willing, it's like 100 years from now.
But like, Oh, yeah. But like, there will still be
Snoop Dogg commercials after he dies.
Like Super Pizzle. Yeah.
Like where It's like AI Snoop Dogg.
Like it's not even him like. You want to clean your floor,
you got to get a swiftful swift like.
Yeah, him and Shaq. It's just like, well, that's.
What I'm saying but you can name off like if they start doing
this. I'm talking about like, yeah.
Like, what's their dad when they're when they're not here?
Shaq. Snoop Dogg.
The entire 27 club the. Madonna.
The entire 27th club like. Elvis, they're all yeah.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Tupac, Biggie, all of them did.
Diddy no AI Diddy last article Trump moves to ban flag burning.
He's burning. He's signing an executive order
to ban flag burning, which is fucking stupid.
I already thought that was a law.
It is. You can't like use a flag to
like start your BBQ, but you can burn a flag in protest.
It's freedom of speech. That's what I thought.
Yeah, I know. Oh, so you're saying that no
longer? That first?
Well, no, I mean what? What if the flag?
What if? What if the flag was made in
China? It's going to get, it's going to
get challenged because it's been a, it's like, I mean, it's not a
super precedent, but it's a precedent that it's been the
1st. What if it's a Confederate flag?
Yeah, that's fine. It better be fucking fine.
You can start your BBQ with that.
I cannot. Wait.
But it's stupid because I think the first case was in 1989, then
there was another court case that upheld it in 90 where it's
been challenged by the Supreme Court.
There's a guy arrested for like, burning one not in protest in
front of the White House the other day.
So the next day, Trump's like, I'm setting an executive order
trying to make it a minimum of one year in jail and get the
Department of Justice to like, prosecute these people.
But it's stupid, like I said, because this is going to get
challenged. It's going to get upheld by the
Supreme Court that you can in protest.
It's just no, don't, do not be so sure about that, bro.
I wish, I wish, I wish we could be sure about that.
I do not trust the Supreme Court right now.
Yeah, I I trust them more than I did, which isn't very much.
I I don't know. I don't know.
I did. If they were as bad as I thought
they were going to be, they wouldn't give push back on
anything. I don't understand why they give
a fuck about anything. They have lifetime appointments
bro. They're the third branch of
government equal branch. Like they could tell Trump to go
fuck himself and like it wouldn't matter.
Like you can't fire him. Like like that's why I just
that's why I don't trust him. It's like it's like y'all are
like bending the fucking knee dude.
It's like I I don't even get it with the Supreme Court.
Dude bro, they overturned Roe V Wade.
Well, yeah, but that was a lifelong goal.
Right. But three of them testified in
front of Congress saying that they wouldn't do it, and then
within a year they did it. No, I know they're full of shit.
That's why I don't trust them. That's all I'm saying.
Well, we'll see, but he's trying to be signed an executive.
Well, also also also Elon, Elon and and you maggot magtards like
over fucking like freedom of speech.
We we can't burn flags anymore. Like you guys made it illegal to
like support Palestine like out of college.
You know, it's like we thought there was like ultimate freedom
of speech. Shout out Gaza, listen to the
pod. Oh, I mean, there's not really
much more to say about. This or the West Bank?
He's just trying to do it. No, I know.
Well, yeah, And that's the thing.
And that's how you know, Trump is weak is because he has to do
executive orders because he can't get shit put through
Congress, because he's not a real fucking powerful dude.
So he has to like, try to act like a king.
It's like executive order. Executive order because he,
because he don't actually like have like money moves, dude.
Like it's like you can't get shit through Congress because
your shit sucks. He's got no motion.
He just did. I don't even get it.
It's like I don't understand his mentality.
Lost in lost in the sauce. Totally.
It's like, I like, is Stephen Miller really like, like
hypnotized his motherfucker or what?
Like, why would he even care? Like, why wouldn't he just,
like, enjoy life being president?
Like chill the fuck out, Yeah. True.
Watch it for articles. Meditate, bitches.
Make sure y'all like, follow, subscribe, share, leave a
comment, whatever. We appreciate y'all listening.
Shout out Gaza listening to the pod.
That's fucking awesome. Good.
Show. And yeah, y'all just be good, be
safe, don't take any Trazodone. Definitely not.
Public service announcement. And as always, go fuck
yourselves. But not me for two weeks.
Yeah, two weeks off. I guess a week now.
Layoff Goody's piece. Or doubt, shout out.