Are you an open mic girl? What do you mean an open mic
girl like do? You go to them and you're like,
this is fun. No, I feel like I every time I
go to open mic I feel very shitty about myself.
What about you? Whenever I leave, I'm like, have
I ever been funny? Are you saying you're not an
open mic girl? I'm not unfortunate unless it's
like run by the girlies, right? I'll get behind that.
Yeah. Lots of fun people that I've met
at like shows and mics, but I'm not getting that when I go to a
straight man Mike. That's what that's what it is.
A straight man, Mike. A straight man Mike, which is a
lot of the mics. Yeah, most of them.
Like Mike is even a straight man's name, the straightest man
name. Yeah.
Now that I'm thinking about it, every time you say Mike, I'm
going to an open mic, I'm going even if you say I'm going to a
girly open mic, you're still saying Mike, and that is a guy's
name. Yeah.
So we should change the name of the mic?
Yeah, what about Michelle? Yes, we're going to a Michelle.
I'm going to the Michelle tonight, pulling up who's coming
That's. Crazy, right?
Next, I'm going to rename. If I ever host another open mic,
I'm going to rename the mic Michelle.
Yes. And then people show up and
they're like, is this like Full House themed?
Like, where's Michelle Tanner? Yeah.
Are there famous Michelle? Yes.
There's a lot, actually. Don't go to open mics, go to
open Michelle's. Yes, open Michelle up.
Yeah, Michelle drop and Michelle drop, period.
Yes, Wait, I, I. I love this idea for you.
I feel like I'm just watching greatness happen.
So Alexa, what's keeping you up tonight?
Oh my God, I think once a man realizes he likes you, he
shouldn't talk for a week 'cause he's always saying stupid
things. Wait, he shouldn't talk for a
week at like? All I think, like mime
everything, like Charlie Chaplin, like I should not hear
you speak. Wait to not like, just to you,
not to like you Can he? Can he?
Can talk to everyone else, just not me.
OK, Yeah. That makes more sense.
Like not even texting. No, 'cause that's when they say
the stupidest things. Wait, that's when they love bomb
you. That's when I want to hear like
all the I love you. I'm so.
That's too much for me. That's too much.
I'm like, calm down. I get it.
I'm good.
You don't want. I don't need to hear it.
You don't. How much?
What? That's like the best time.
I don't get it girl. That's beautiful for you though.
Like I want to, I want them to talk for that week and then shut
up for the rest of the the relationship.
But like then it's forever. I'm like, well, I don't know if
the relationship is going to be forever.
Well, there we go. There we go.
I hear the first week I'm like, we've talked too much, it's over
then. So we're like flip flop.
Oh, that's what you mean. OK, so like your logic is if the
person doesn't talk for a week, that's like that's how you're
going to have the relationship last forever?
Yeah, that's the secret. That's why I'm single.
It's because they've been talking for a week and you just
get tired of them. Yeah, 'cause then they say dumb
things. Like very very dumb.
What's 1 of the dumbest things you've ever heard?
Last time I was with a guy, he came into my room, my sacred
space, and he said can I take off my shoes?
It's getting in my bed. Oh my God, this is literally
what just happened. No, literally, you said.
Oh, you take your shoes off, Of course.
Yeah, why do you have to ask? Yeah.
Do you think we're going to keep shoes on during that?
Like, no thank you. People are always like socks, No
socks, He was asking. Shoes.
I think that's ridiculous. Well, well, OK, First of all,
he's asking for consent, is that.
Consent, and we're all about that.
Yes, yes, he's a good guy. I don't know about, I don't know
about. Wait, so you don't want him to
ask for consent? What?
What is going on here? I'm.
Digging my hole? What if I was like, no, he
should have just taken me and put me on the bed and yes, no,
I'm saying we should just use our brains.
Right, right. Hey.
Take your shoes off. Yes, that shouldn't be a
question. Hey.
I want them off, don't worry. Yeah, those should be getting in
the bed. Yes, it's no.
It's like that's the, that's the question.
Nobody would say no. To exactly nobody would say no.
Something yeah, it's it's always questions like you, you would
think things people wouldn't say no to is like your perfect body.
But it's actually the question, can I keep my shoes off?
Can I keep my shoes on? Can I?
He's like, can I please keep them off?
I I want to go outside in the streets of New York, but I
really want to keep my shoes off please.
This like reminds me of, you know, like the the other Alexa,
she was on the podcast and she was talking about socks on or
off. Yes, I upgraded shoes on or off
guys shoes. Always.
Off though, yeah, always, always.
That's so funny. We can do socks though.
Like I get her point. On socks on or off for you?
OK, this is like next time. This is like gotta be like
something that I always ask for my guests like are you anti sock
or are you on pro sock? Pro Sock.
What if I was like, I'm feeling crazy one-on-one off?
No, that is kind of that's sort of manic.
I think on feet are weird. Can I just say it?
I think feet are really gross. Oh, some feet.
Some feet are not. You're like, mine are really
good. I believe that, I think.
Mine are pretty. Good.
And guys, I think it's. Why not?
You are wearing socks though, so
I think you're proofing boy. Oh my God, I can't believe the
socks talk made of comeback on pause.
It's a reoccurring. It's like your theme.
Yeah, it's your second side theme.
Socks, yes. Now, because like the sock talk
has been on my podcast and every person that's listened to my
podcast have to think about like the socks talk.
It's like never gonna go away in their head.
So like, if I ever date a new guy and they listen to the sock
talk on my podcast, they're gonna think about that whenever
they have sex with another girl. It's about my podcast about the
socks on and off. I bet you think about me when
you look at a sock. There you go and you've won.
You've won whenever he's putting on.
Socks, it's you I've won to every.
Yeah. That's fantastic.
That's a 1 queen. Okay, what was the like?
What did what did we talk about before?
How men are stupid, they shouldn't talk.
That's a direct quote from me. Yep.
That's like, that's why that's how you brought up the What is
it? The socks 'cause then we went
from shoes to socks. Right, 'cause like one guy was
asking stupid questions and you rather that he shut the fuck up.
Seriously. Sometimes, and I know they mean
it out of the kindness of their hearts, but their hearts are
dumb. They're like, oh, I want to
compliment you, but let me say it in the most uncomplimenting
way ever. What?
Like what? So I have a little scar on my
neck. And sometimes they're like, hey,
you know, even with the scar, you're so beautiful.
Oh my God. Even like.
You don't have to say it. I was like, how did somehow that
hurt? How did we make that bad?
No, it's like, it's like somebody telling me like you're
pretty for an Asian girl or something like that.
Hey. What does that even mean?
Yeah, like you don't have to put like a a prerequisite.
You could just be like, hey, you're pretty thanks.
You know, I took that. Thank you.
It's what does that even mean? If they say something like even
if blah, blah, blah, you're still pretty.
Like it's like, it's like you're diminishing.
You don't have to diminish other people.
By yeah, like just just take it, just say the good thing, say the
thing we want to hear. Because yes, that's the point At
the end of the day, that's what we're thinking about The oh,
we're pretty. That's what I want to hear.
Yeah, and we don't have to be pretty because of something.
Yeah, we can just be. We're just pretty, period.
Exactly. Exactly.
We're so wholesome. OK?
Am I the only one that's sweating?
Are you sweating? No, it's a little hot.
It's. A little.
I'm a little, yeah, I'm a. Little I was like, we're gonna
get through. If I see one bit of sweat on me
it's gonna be OK though. I'm, I'm a little sweaty.
I, I don't know, cuz I also I had coffee.
You I heard you just had an energy drink.
Yeah, right now I'm kind of like, it's like.
Kicking in. Yes.
Kidding. Kicking in.
Our best thoughts, Our best energy.
Yes. Yeah.
Victoria, are you hot or is it just us?
She's like, yes, I am. OK, you're hot.
Oh, oh, she's hot. Yeah, she's hot.
But OK, should we should we turn the AC on for a little bit?
Will you hear her? No, it's fine.
Oh, then yeah. OK, let's, let's turn it on.
This temperature you want? Yes, up to you babe.
Big questions, Big questions, Fahrenheits.
She said. I don't really know Fahrenheit.
Good for her. Yeah, but now it's toasty.
That's. Yeah, it's a little bit.
I feel like I'm my. Can you see my sweat on my
forehead? Not, not yet.
OK, I feel it. I feel that.
I feel it in my arms. I sense it coming, yeah.
Yeah, sorry about that. I should have did some
temperature control. I know it's New York City and
it's the winter, so that means yes, the heat will be on.
The heat well. Crazy hot.
Yes, right now we're turning the cold air on.
That's good. Thanks to these microphones, we
don't have to hear the heat the the AC that's so good.
That's so good. OK, back-to-back to the matter
of men. The matter of men should they or
shouldn't they? Should they?
Shouldn't they?
Oh I got confused at all. I'm like I'm in Alice in
Wonderland right now, falling down this rabbit hole.
Yes, I was just actually, I just saw like something about Alice
in Wonderland today and they're talking about Alice in
Wonderland is just Alice tripping.
No, literally like on mushroom. She's just lost and confused.
Yeah. And finds, like, random people.
It's like, I don't know, if you go out, you make friends with
everyone. But like, I try to.
Yeah. I'm like.
And I've made 10 new best friends tonight.
Do I know any of their names? No.
What's my name? Rachel deep like the guys like
that's a good question. I.
Thought we're best friends and you know my name, that's why I'm
in your. Bed.
I only go to bed with people I'm best friends with.
Oh yeah? Hell yeah, me too.
Yeah, me too. I just fucked Victoria.
No, it's OK. I don't see updates.
I don't. Know how that come out?
I don't know why. I don't that's it clipped.
It's the it's the coffee, it's the caffeine.
Victoria just left the room. She's like, I don't some comfy.
Just like I didn't ask for consent.
I don't know. I don't.
Know she's like I told you to not tell anyone.
They can't know it's going to ruin the integrity of the pod.
No, they can't know. No, it's like, can I say this
stroke? No, it's OK.
Can I say it's a stroke? She's she nodded.
She gave us consent. So it's like, there's like one
clip of me, I, I'm queer and I, I made a video of me and
Victoria. We're like acting as like
lesbians and we're like, oh, this is like what happens when
the means lesbians invite you over and people are like, you're
not lesbians. Don't.
Don't do this. And who's saying that?
Yeah, like how do you not know the I'm a lesbian?
So like to prove their point, we fucked, No?
And to prove it. Like we just like needed them to
be wrong. So yeah, yeah.
So like if you want to check that out, link down below to my
only fans. No, it's we.
I haven't gotten that far yet. You should.
Oh. Go for it, you know.
Yeah, small business, right? I just saw today a comedian I
know. She just started a only fans for
her clips. And I think that's sort of fun,
yeah. I wouldn't do it personally
because he wants to see me be like, hey boys, whoever's
watching. Sort of it's like for her comedy
clips. And that's what I meant.
I meant my jokes, right? What else would I be talking
about? My body?
No, no, no. I feel like that's such a
brilliant idea because I'm like, people are saying if you post a
clip on social media, you basically, like, abandoned that
joke. Yeah, 'cause then people watch
it and then they see you in person.
They're like, I heard that already.
I saw it on Instagram. So then you can't make money
from like, their ticket sales. Yeah, but if you post it on only
fans, you still make the money and you can still do that joke.
Exactly, 'cause who's watching that?
And if they call you out, that means they're watching your only
fans. Exactly.
We've mastered the comedy scene today.
OK, advice for all the comedians out there starred and only fans.
Yes. Not for your body, but for your
voice. Exactly.
I love that quote. We should, like, start a
business or something like that. Should be the slogan, yeah.
Not for your body, but for your voice.
Wow. Wow.
That's good. Yeah, We're working on
something. We're working on something for
sure. That's wild, though.
Only fans for stand up. Is it like clip clips though?
Like. I haven't, I haven't subscribed.
So I haven't supported a woman's business.
Wait, trans men's business. But I I should I should I will
subscribe and check it out? We support comedy here, Yes
yeah. Up and coming comedians.
Yes, but I don't know about regular men starting only fans
and hosting their. Especially stand up comedians.
I don't think I need that right now.
I'm not like I just crave to see another man hold a microphone
and talk. That's all I need, yeah.
Wow. It gets to too much.
Are you an open mic girl?
Well, I know you. Host Mic Yeah.
What do you mean an open mic girl like do?
You go to them and you're like, this is fun.
No, I feel like I every time I go to open mic I feel very
shitty about myself. What about you?
Me too. Whenever I leave I'm like, have
I ever been funny? Why?
What's the point of this and like?
What's the point of? Life.
No, seriously. And then you talk to the same,
like, type of person there, and they're always there with their
little, like, iPhone camera recording their set.
But nobody's laughing at it, which is what I find the most
fun about it. Because at the end of the day,
isn't it comedy? But we're not.
I don't know. I don't know.
Well, but why so you're not? Are you saying you're not an
open micro? I'm not unfortunate, unless it's
like run by the girlies. They'll get behind that.
Yeah, Because then they make it like sort of a show vibe, you
know? Yes, because they support.
They actually laugh. Yeah.
And it's like, oh wait, we like each other.
We're about having fun. That's why we're here at the end
of the day. Yeah, I agree.
I've been to some girly, girly open mikes.
So what do you do? I I, I mean I don't want to be
an only going to open mics then, but I don't know what else I can
do. It gets complicated.
Like seriously, you're like, then where do I go?
How do I try out things? How do you?
Because I can't crack the code. Sorry I interrupted you.
No. I talk over everyone, so you're
all good. I think for me, I'm sort of
evil. I just talk to my friends and I
do bits and then I wait to see if it lands.
I'm like there my open mic crowd.
Oh I I like it. It's like you form your own open
mic. Crowd.
Yeah, I'm like, they have to love.
Yeah, and you don't have to pay or you have to buy.
Drinks. Well I do end up buying drinks
if I'm out with my friends. Well, at least it's going to the
friends, you know. Yeah, yeah, a good 'cause.
Exactly good 'cause you can pick which bar you know.
Maybe a woman owned bar. Truly.
That's good. That's good.
Are you a are you a what do you, where do you usually go for?
Like your What's your recommendations for open mics
for girlies? Imagine I had like really good
ones off the top of my head. Let me.
Think I really like femmes and friends.
Yes, that one is fantastic. I've heard I haven't like oh
really gone gone yet, but a lot of my friends have done a lot.
Of. I've been at Mike's there and
chose. They're doing shows now too.
Yes, they are. Which is fantastic.
I am so happy for them. I think Victoria went with me
once. Or is it Victoria Or is it
another hoe I was fucking? Anyway, sorry, I've daddy's been
busy and I yeah, I think I went. It was so it was really fun.
It was it's gotta feel like you said, it's like a show.
I really so supportive. I've never been so supported in
like a open mic setting. Like it would never happen if
you go to a late night all male open mic.
Oh. My God.
Horrifying. Why would they not?
I don't get it. Why would men not laugh?
No serious. Oh, like they don't want to talk
to people after That's another thing yes, because like after
like a girlies mic or leg the girlies, the gay is all of that.
We're talking after we're like swapping Instagrams.
We're like finding a way to stay connected after that yes,
because I think community is also a big thing when it comes
to comedy. And that's why I think I have a
good group around me of lots of fun people that I've met at like
shows and Mike's, but I'm not getting that when I go to a
straight man Mike. That's what that's what it is.
A straight man, Mike. A straight man Mike, which is a
lot of the mics. Yeah, most of them like.
Mike is even a straight man's name.
The straightest. Man name?
Yeah. That or like Dave.
Imagine that Mike, hosted by Dave.
Like evil. That's disgusting.
There's a guy named Dave watching this right now.
He hosts a mic and he's like, Oh no, did I do something wrong?
Yes, you. Yes, you did.
Yeah. Change your name, Dave, please.
Like Dave. What's that girl name for Dave?
Davina. Davina Exactly.
Go with Davina. Davina and friends or.
And friends. Yes, Davina and and the girlies
and the sisters. That's cute.
Maybe we should like, now that I'm thinking about it, every
time you say Mike, I'm going to an open mic, I'm going.
Even if you say I'm going to a girly open mic, you're still
saying Mike. And that is a guy's name.
So we should change the name of the mic?
Yeah, what about Michelle? Yes, we're going to a Michelle.
I'm going to the Michelle tonight, pulling up who's coming
That's. Crazy, right?
Next, I'm gonna rename. If I ever host another open mic,
I'm gonna rename the mic Michelle.
Yes. And then people show up and
they're like, is this like Full House themed?
Like where's Michelle Tanner? Yeah.
Was there famous Michelle? Yes.
There's a lot actually. Don't go to.
Open mic's go to open Michelle's.
Yes, open Michelle up. Yeah, Michelle Drop.
And Michelle drop, period. Yes, wait, I actually I.
I love this idea for you. I feel like I'm just watching
greatness happen. Right.
Yeah, you're eating. Yes, we're making this a clip.
Yes. Oh good, goody, goody good.
Anything else other than Michelle because I feel like
Mike is short. Michelle is a.
Little I was thinking about like the like but what?
What's a short M girl name? M girl name, right?
Like Mary. Mary.
Oh, yes, yeah. Mary.
Drop Mary open Mary.
Mary's a good girl. Yeah, Mary is a good girl's
name. Yeah.
Michelle. I don't know.
I still like Michelle. I think that's good too.
I. Feel like Michelle is more like
naughty, but Mary is more like, you know, because it's like the
Mary's like class. Elegant she has her little lamb.
She has a, She has her. She has her Jesus.
Truly. Yeah, just a good around girl.
Yeah, full. Full Madonna?
What about Madonna? Oh, then we're singing, then
it's karaoke after, oh, right, then it's Mike, then karaoke.
Then that's then that's if it's a variety Mike, it could be
Madonna. And you ate with that.
That was good. That was good.
You've been to Saint under Saint Mark's.
I'm doing a show there soon, actually.
Yeah, I'm really excited. I think it's a cute area.
Anything around there is great. It's like a great little comedy
scene and great cutesy little bars too.
Yeah, you should. Yeah.
But because like that one is like a variety mic, that's why.
How fun. How fun.
This Is Us giving our best open mics.
Yeah. So like so here's the list guys.
We got it. Don't worry.
We're making new ones and yeah, so St. if Saint Mark's, if under
Saint Mark's has a variety open mic, it should be under St.
Madonna, yes? Or is that too redundant?
Under St. Madonna?
No, I think that's good. Under St.
Madonna. And it's hosted by you.
Thank you. Yeah.
Under St. Madonna Open Michelle.
I'm just seeing Madonna open, Michelle.
I would get so lost in saying that.
I'd be like, yeah. I'm sorry, I'm I feel like this
is going too far with the with the Michelle with the mic
Michelle. No, I think this is great.
This is so good. Thank you for pitching the name
Michelle. I I like Michelle.
Yeah, I love how. Our feet are out.
You were really inspired earlier.
You were like, I do have to show off how beautiful my feet are,
yet not show them at all. No, I think that's good.
That's behind the pay wall. That's why I'm we're.
Yeah, it didn't start that. Only fans yet?
Right. Oh, I should.
Oh my God, I'm so inspired by you.
Like I have so many ideas today I.
Didn't I was not like this on other mics.
You thank you. You're such a muse.
That's what I tell myself every day.
No, no, no. Oh, you are.
Thank you, dear Open Muse. Keep them close.
God. Oh, I know, I'm already in your.
Bed but calm down. Oh my God, we have a lot of M
girl name that's like that's ready to replace Mike.
Yeah, so we just need to wait and find the right time to
attack. Exactly.
Get a game of. View yes.
That would be great to read in the history books.
The female stand up revolution. Whoa.
I would if anybody writes this into like a like, you know, a
fiction, you know, I would buy it.
I would read it. Yeah, Somebody like come, come
pay, pay us for the, you know, copyright.
Yeah. And the credit, yes.
And then we'll make bank, but we'll give them a, a discount
because we, we do want to see a fantasy about like what you
said, a female, women, woman. Comic revolution?
No biggie. We could do it.
We're living it right now. Get out your notepads.
I don't know if we're living it exactly.
Yeah, right now we're losing the war, but one day we'll step up.
What we'll step up we're we're going to have Open Muse, Open
Michelle, Open Madonna and Open Mary.
Yes, period, period. I'm glad you got all that out
because I forgot half the Ms. halfway through and I was like,
Yep. I was like, I know it's not
Mike. That's all I know.
Exactly. That's all that matters.
What were we talking about before this?
How did we get into it? You were like you went on a
wonderful, beautiful tangent about Mary and Michelle and I
loved we were talking about how men shouldn't talk for a week
after they. Men shouldn't realize their
feelings only a week. Yeah, I think that gives them
enough time to work out whatever is going on up in the noggin.
I don't know, I feel like it's always me that's the one that's
like love bombing. But I think it's fine when it's
you. It's fine.
I think it's. Fine, is it?
Like you mean me or women in general?
No, just you. Just you.
Yeah, you get the special. Pass So you're not allowed.
Are you allowed? See, I could get a little crazy,
right? So probably not, but.
So the the take should be nobody should like.
Nobody. It should be silent.
You should like, block each other for a week.
No, I think you still have to be around each other.
It's just sad. It's like mysterious.
Oh, like we're in a movie. Right, shut the fuck up, watch
the movie, feel the ambience and.
Yeah, like, I just know that you're here and that's enough.
That's cute. Sort of in a freaky way.
Oh, freaky. We, we just went somewhere.
Where did we go? You like lit up?
No, you know this. I don't know why this lit up the
area in my brain that's thinking about Donald Trump and and
Mumdani. Yeah, like what?
No. Have you not seen, have you seen
the clip of like Donald Trump and Mumdani?
Making out No guys, guys no, no. There must be a clip of that
it's but it's probably no. Have you seen like the clip of
like like the reporter asking? The fascist thing, yes.
Yeah. Isn't that fun?
Isn't that like? Yeah, that's what Freaky
reminded me of. When I saw a freak, I thought of
Trump and, you know, yeah, yeah. He's like, just say it, Just say
it. Don't worry.
I just saw a clip today. It's like, it's like Zoran is
like, you know, I don't know if I should call you this in front
of all these people. And.
And Trump is like, it's OK, you can call me that.
He's like, I like to hear it. Yeah.
And he's like, he's like, yes, you fucking fascist.
And he's like, Oh yes, yes, I like that.
Yeah, and like, we're all just watching.
Are we all like they're like part of their play?
No, seriously, it's very euphoria, you know?
And they're like, is this about us?
Euphoria the show or Euphoria the the word?
OK, yeah, I'm glad we're here. Yes.
Euphoria up here. What a good time in
entertainment when that was like.
Yeah, before Sydney Sweeney turned republican.
Yeah, and put on jeans. Girl, girl.
Cassie girl, no. Yeah, where's our Cassie?
Long gone, Long gone and in the grave with Nate Jacobs.
Honestly, I was just thinking that Nate Jacobs, the actors, he
doesn't have Instagram. What's his name?
Jacob, O Lordy. Jacob Alordi, Yeah.
So his character's last name is his first name.
Yeah, his two names. Two first names.
And that's how you know not to trust a bitch.
Two first names. Exactly.
Yeah. Yes, if your last name can also
works as a first name. It gets confusing.
Like, I don't know, Dwayne
Johnson. Yeah, that's confusing.
Yeah. And he's a little freaky.
No, he's not. But like Michael Jackson like
that, we should have known. We should have known at that
point. Yes, it's redundant.
How are you saying two first names twice?
Yeah, just change your last name.
Yeah, this is the Change Your Name podcast.
We would like to change every name to make it suit us, please.
Yes. Thank you.
Yes. And I was thinking about posting
this a little bit earlier, but because we were doing topical
content like Donald Trump and Mum Donnie, I probably would
bump this up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, why not? Yeah.
Bring it back to them. Trump's in his gay era.
Can I say that? Am I allowed to say that?
I think it's fine I. Don't come for me, I.
I think you're OK. You're American.
Oh, so I can say anything I want right now?
Yeah. America.
How does it go? What's the song you're trying to
sing? I made-up my own apparently.
I thought it's like part of like the American and national anthem
that I don't know. Imagine there's like a secret
part where we're like and everyone keep going and the.
Only real American. Only the real Americans don't.
Yeah, that's the test. Yes, that's part of the citizen
test. It's like finish the verb, the
the last chorus. That would be felt like a finish
the lyric but for a citizen test.
Bizarre. Yeah, it's like plant karaoke.
Blind karaoke, but for the citizen test.
They're like, so it's behind you guess the song.
You're like, I got it, I know it, can I go, please?
How does it go? How does it go?
Well, there's like a couple. There's a couple American,
National. Anthem there's like the just
like genders. I'm getting real stupid right
now. There's people ripping this
apart like girl, you're dumb. Get out of here.
Oh, the New Jersey showing. Yeah, but it's like America,
America, God shit his. That's not like there is also
like, I'm so confused. Say, can you see?
OK, that sounds more familiar. Yeah, that, that's like the
basic one. That's the one they made us like
salute to in school. Like uh huh, stand up for and
like be like, this is our. OK, OK, this is our home.
What's the first line? Oh, say, can you see?
That's the star spangled panel. Oh, say yeah.
Say like speaking. Yeah.
Oh, say, can you see? Yeah.
Can you see and then what? By the dawn's early light.
Yeah.
It's very poetic. Oh, yeah.
They they were wordsmiths back then.
Yeah, I don't understand. But like what you mean by the
first line? Like it's very metaphoric.
Yeah, like. They they were on to something
back then. They were on to it.
Yeah, it's, yeah, it's, it's like euphemism.
Yes, very much, Very much. Because I was thinking like the
Chinese national anthem. The first line was, I feel like
the Chinese national anthem, OK. Oh, I'm ready.
It's get up the people who don't want to be slaves.
That sort of sounds like a really fun, like club song
though, like Get up the People and everyone's like yes.
Yes, yes. Wait, I'm like, what's the next
line? That's wild put.
Our bodies and blood into a new the Great Wall, right?
Yeah, Victoria said. Yes.
This is sort of art. This is crazy.
Wait, when do you know when this was like a staple song?
Like oh, when did it? When did it write it?
Yeah, or like when did you have to like?
Listen to it every day. Like not every day, but like,
you know what? This is what we stand up and
sing along and like when, like at the Olympics, OK, yes, like
you don't play this every day when you were in needle in high
school, Vic. 'S going to say we had like that
in school where we had to do like the pledge.
OK, we can't hear what Victoria say, Victoria said.
What was Victoria say? She was saying that she had to
listen to it like every day in middle school.
High school, right? Yeah, I don't wait, did I?
Or at least on Monday. OK.
On Mondays? Yes, every.
Week only on Mondays. Monday you have like the you
like raise the flag and that's where you can listen to it.
Did you have that? We didn't have to like raise a
flag because this was like all inside in class.
Like before announcements, it would be like that.
Then they'd be like, and now for lunch, we're having chicken.
Oh, that's like what's followed by.
That's it was like, salute your flag.
Here's what's for lunch. Start class.
Yes, very I yes. Yeah, which is very.
I'm very America was like, be proud, eat food, go.
Yeah. What?
What did Victoria want to say? Not really.
Oh, OK. I thought she looked like she
wanted to say something. She's not not.
Really. Yeah, I don't want to talk
today. OK, I got.
I don't know, we can go back. Let's go back.
Yes, I didn't need for this to be.
Patriotic. It was like, like, this is going
to get clipped crazy and I'm going to be somewhere that I
don't want to be. Yes, yeah, me neither.
Let's go somewhere else. Let's let's.
Go safety. Let's go back to men.
Yeah, that's where I feel safest.
How about you? With a man?
A diabolical evil. Evil.
Truly Yuck. But I can't help fall for it.
Unfortunately, when is when was the last time you fell for a
man? I started to cry.
Imagine I'm like it was just do it.
No, I could never. I don't think I've fallen
recently. OK, I only rise.
Oh. Hell yeah, like a queen.
Yes, like a phoenix in the ashes I rise.
That's something. You you seem very like
nonchalant about man. Yeah, because like I used to be
like crazy. Obviously you seem.
Very nonchalant for your age. Thank you.
Yeah, you have like maturity. It's like you've you've seen
everything and nothing matters anymore.
Nothing matters knowing nothing matters.
Wicked. It's a quote.
Oh really? Which like.
What does that mean? Wait, what's the lie?
Nothing matters knowing nothing matters.
It makes no sense yet all the sense in my head.
Yes. And after I heard that, I was
like, you know what? The men will come to me exactly,
and oh, they do and don't. And don't worry, we're doing
good. Yeah, well, yeah, they're always
here, always there. We keep them back there behind
the door. Yeah.
Behind this wall is that there's actually I built.
I told you, it's my roommate, but it's actually like a dungeon
that I built for all the men that I've seen.
You better work. Yeah, Every time.
Every time, Yeah. That's the other show you're
working on, yeah. Yeah, the other show, that's why
I'm having these like very soundproof microphones, because
then you don't, you don't hear them scream in the back.
Because we can't do that, they ruin it.
And that's why men should be silent for a week.
Hell yeah, full circle. Moment I was like, I sense it.
I sense silencing men. Yes, that's the theme.
There we go. Sometimes silence is better.
Yeah, let's take a moment being silenced.
Let's do a breath work exercise. I honestly don't know how to
lead a breath work exercise. I don't know why I dig myself
into that hole. I.
Just loved how you were like, let's take a moment on this
podcast to not talk Blessed. Sorry, I know we can't hear the
sneeze, but I needed you to know that I was blessing you.
Victoria sneezed. It's OK, but Victoria is not.
Victoria doesn't believe in God. Can you still bless her?
Yeah, I think so. Wow.
I'm getting like on a really. This is going on My.
I still go to hell after I die. No, no, I also, I don't really
believe in anything. Here's my lore.
I don't believe in anything. But I also believe in everything
because I don't want to offend people.
OK, so I'm just like, you know, everyone's right.
Me too. I'm like, you know, you all live
your dreams. Everybody has a point.
Yes. So you go on what you want to go
on. Just don't be like mean.
Yeah, don't be mean. You do whatever you want.
It's like, it's like you can't change a belief.
Yeah, because, like, how am I going to do that?
How am I going to do that for you?
Yeah, I'm like, no, you should keep your socks on during sex.
Like it's just like that. It's the same.
Thing yes, it's OK if I don't want to keep my socks on, but I
respect that you want to keep. Yourself, because we all have
our own feet at the end of the day.
Yeah, we have our own feet, and you keeping your socks on
doesn't really matter. To my pleasure, I can.
Even if we're in the same situation, we can both enjoy.
Yeah, you just have if you like your socks on better, or even if
you want to get freaky and just have two socks, have one sock
on, or have two socks on 2 layers, it's.
Up to you. Layer as much as you want, take
as much as you want off. That's on religion.
Wow, right. We did that.
So we did that so deep, truly. Wow, I did not expect this
episode to be this deep. No, serious.
I don't think I've ever talked about anything so substantial.
Before me too, is this substantial or is it not
substantial because. For me it is.
It is substantial, but but not not substantial because there's
no substance. There's all like, you know,
intellectual. Yeah, which I don't have, so.
That's no we you. You do well.
Thank you. Yes, I think you.
Got a whole lot, thank you. It's intelligence in the eye of
the holder. Snaps for that.
It seems like I feel like this part, this episode is becoming
like an ASMR, Yeah. I should have like big nails on
and be like, do you like that? I'm so sorry.
Yeah, I I guess we're we're almost running out of time.
I can't believe time runs so fast.
Yeah, time flies. Time flies when you're talking
to Mike, having fun chatting about.
Everything Yeah, hey, hey, we we we believe in women equality.
So yes, this is not this is use another M word talking to a.
Yeah, talking. To a Michelle talking to a Mary
talking To a Margaret talking to a.
We can keep going forever and ever.
Mary Ann still a part of Mary. But why not?
Yeah, yeah. Talking into our Michelle's has
been really fun. Today, yes.
Michelle's so good, right? Yeah.
This is not a mic like how? Look at how pink it is.
It's. Seriously magnificent.
Another M. Exactly Magnificent Maleficent,
although that's. But that's an M name.
That is an M name. That's the Halloween episode,
right? Yeah, right.
That's when I changed the mic cover into like, I don't know,
like, what's Maleficent's colour?
Isn't it, like, purple? OK, like purple vibes.
Yeah, yes. Changing it up.
Oh yes, OK, I did not know this but like why don't you talk
about purple? I thought about lavender and I
did not know lavender marriage meant.
What'd you think it meant? Wait, I don't know.
I just thought it's you were like, it's so nice, you know,
it's like people have golden marriage, silver marriage.
That means like they've hit like a 50 year old mark.
Like they've been married for 50.
Years and there was like, it's been a week and it's going
pretty well. Yeah.
I think it could go well. A lavender marriage, Yeah.
Like, yeah, it's because it's a colour and that's like golden
and silver is also a colour. Lavender is just that's
beautiful. Maybe.
Yeah, I did not think too much about what that meant.
When did you find out? You're like, I'm in one right
now. I found out and I don't know how
to get out. No, I'm not in one yet, but
maybe in the future because my, my hollow.
What is it called? Horoscope reader, What is what
is that? Oh Astra astrologist.
Yes, my astrologist told me that I'm going to get married four
times and how can you not have one lavender marriage out of my
4 marriages? You know, maybe.
What do you do with that knowledge though?
Like when you get married the first time, you're like, OK.
One down. Yep, who's ready for the next?
I don't know. I think I don't know how how I
deal with that information right now.
I just talk about it on the podcast.
Yeah, you're like, I just got to get through it.
Yeah, just got to wait till it happens.
Yeah, I trust in the timing of the universe.
Truly, that's what I do, Yeah. I think.
That's magnificent. Yeah, yeah.
And yeah, I Is there anything you would like to add before we
finish? Before we finish, before I put
on my shoes and get out of here. No, it's OK, you can you.
Can keep your shoes on. Don't worry, you can keep your
shoes. One thing about my bed is shoes
are always on. You.
No, I think that's gross. Yeah.
Why do you say that? Because I like to lie.
Like a diva. It's OK, we need more women
lying. We need yeah, more women lying,
more men shut up. Yeah, shut up, period.
Let me app about nothing. Thank you.
Yes, first week men don't talk. Silence and women lying.
Yeah, OK, That's the secret to a good relationship.
Yes, and and don't forget to call your mic Michelle.
Yeah. Yeah.
We love him, Michelle. OK.
Thank you so much, Alexa. This is such a fun episode.
OK, I guess we can wrap up. I can.
We can turn it off. Yeah.
Hey, you're such a good host. Am I so?
Good, what like this is you're so good.
This is just so fun. These vibes.
I'm like. Oh, Oh my God, I I don't really.
Yes.