The problem is we can't control how we feel.
Yeah. And we might love somebody at
one point, Yeah. And then not love them the next
day. So I should say I love you for
the moment. Like I love you right now.
Yeah, I love you at like I've been loving you recently.
I've been loving you recently. Yeah, that's actually so sweet.
If someone told me I've been loving you recently, that's very
kind. Yeah, so because you.
Yeah, I'm not going to say I love you forever because then
I'll be lying to you because I don't know.
Yes, I'll love you forever. Yeah, yeah, that's I think the
three times I'm like, I love you.
Such a deep statement. You can say I've been loving you
recently. More specific terms to that
person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I've been loving you since we met.
I've been loving you for the past three months.
I've been loving you since, like, I don't know.
I don't know, Memorial Weekend I.
Don't know, I've been loving you since specifically Memorial
Weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Put a time stamp on that exactly.
Yeah. Well, so Beanie, what's keeping
you up tonight? What's keeping me up tonight is
that I believe you can only tell someone that you love them three
times Max if you're in a relationship with them.
Three times, Max. What are the, what are the three
times? What are the times that you can
Is there like a, you know, yeah. If I've already in a
relationship with them and I've already said three times, does
it mean it has to end? You have to end.
Yeah, you're done. Oh, no.
Yeah, Yeah. Why?
Well, I think it just overused and loses its power.
Like I feel like also like coming from an immigrant like
household like in in Max. This is what my mom says and my
mom is has. Wait, tell us about yourself.
My background, Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm white Mexican.
I'm white Latina. And in my family at least, love
is shown through actions, not through words.
So you have to love them through your actions.
Like, why are you just telling them that you love them?
That's not real. OK, Yeah.
So love them through like making them food or doing their lawn.
No, don't do their laundry. Don't don't do their laundry.
Not yet. Yeah.
After getting married maybe. What do you think?
Would you sell someone that you love them?
OK, I you called me off guard. I feel like I I've, I've
recently learned that you should like show affection through
action instead of, you know, words of I'd although I feel
like a words of affirmation is important sometimes too.
Yeah, cuz I feel like I'm also an immigrant.
I'm I'm Chinese and we don't like my mom.
Never say I love you. Yeah.
But she shows the reaction. But I feel like sometimes I wish
that on top of the action she would say something nice
sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I have that same
thing. I literally talked to my mom
today about it. She's.
Really. Well cuz so in Spanish you have
taquiero the ammo ite de seo. OK, for for us who are
illiterate, what does it? Yeah, what does it mean?
So the Kyeto is like most commonly used.
You use that with your friends, you use that with your lover.
It means I. It means I want you.
Literally. I can say it to my friends like
I can say it to you, Tequieto. Yeah, yeah, you can say
tequieto. Even though it's it means I want
you. It's more casually like I love
you. I have deep affection.
For you, OK. Then the ammo is like I love you
like I love you. Of you like capital L, capital
L, yeah. And my mom was like, you can say
that only if they got if they're in a car accident and about to
die, like, like immigrant mom telling you, I'm only gonna tell
you I love you if you're in a car accident about to die, which
is which is crazy, that is. Yeah, but I kind.
Of agree with that. The fact that thing is, I agree
with it, Yeah. And then the last one is
Tedesale, which is more sexual. That's like, I want you
sexually. Oh, wait, wait.
What's the last one? How do you say it, Tedesale?
Oh, OK. So then if you're in a
relationship, I say use those three.
Don't say the animal like saying the animal like I love you.
I just think it over, it over uses its, IT loses meaning I
guess, Yeah. I don't know, I feel like OK,
I'm very conflicted on this because I feel like even though
in my culture people don't say like parents to children don't
really say I love you but I feel like friends or like casual
relationships. They say like love you like a
lot like love you babe. Like yes.
No, and that's something I was almost conditioned into because
I didn't tell my friends I love them.
And then I recently started doing that.
I'm doing. It I assimilated, yeah.
Yeah, you are. You are against your own take.
I well, well, well. I'm against my own take with
friends, with romantic lovers. You just can't give yourself
away. You have to keep yourself.
I'm almost like you can't be too vulnerable with your with your
lover. You can't, no.
I agree, yeah. I feel like if you're the one
that's like more vulnerable, you're, you're the one that's
like, I'm losing. It's not a.
Game. Should be losing or.
Winning I I'll take a bullet for my lover before.
Before you say. I love.
You that's kind of romantic. What do you, what are the what
are the three times that you can say I love you?
So first time you say I love you, I think it's like when it
when you feel it. When you feel it.
Oh my God, the crush. The crush.
Like when you feel it kind of bursting out of you, you have to
say it. But I feel it all the time.
You feel it all the time. But like what if you feel the
burst with with like a lot of people, like multiple people at
the same time? Would that happen?
Or if that happens, then it doesn't count.
Like you can't, you can't count. OK, so the three times can only
it doesn't have to be the same person.
It doesn't have to be the same. OK well that's good though.
Almost I'm I'm for that. Distribute your love so you
don't get too attached to one person.
Right. So say I love you to multiple
people to multiple people. OK, and maybe if you're like,
oh, I love this one person too much, say it to other people so
you don't have to say it to them.
You're off to something. Yeah.
OK, I'm gonna start doing that. They love you.
I love you. Oh, my God.
I love you, Rachel. Yes, then sweet.
OK, the second time. Second time, maybe if you got in
a fight. The biggest?
Fight well, it's hard though,
because I don't know, like. You don't know if there's gonna
be a fight that's topping. Yeah, this one.
That's why you don't fight. But actually I like to fight in
my actually I'm a fighter. You are.
What do you like about the fight?
I like kind of beat people being honest with me, being real with
me. Yeah, but I mean, wouldn't you
want them to be real with you from like all the time?
Yeah, then that means you have to fight because because you
can't just agree with me all the time.
And I'm very passionate and combative almost.
What do you what's your like? Do you, do you like, like
gaslighting? Yeah.
You do. Yeah.
Do you? Yeah, yeah.
I try. I feel like I should get better
at that. At gaslighting, yeah, it's, I
think, a very feminine way to manipulate.
A feminine. Way well, is it 'cause men do
it? Yeah, I feel like men do it.
Yeah. But women gaslight in a way of
like, why? Women gaslight in a way of like,
I'm not saying that, I'm saying this, yes.
Yeah, I mean that, is that even gaslight?
No, it's just not what you're saying.
Yeah. So we're not gaslighting.
I feel like maybe I don't. I'm gonna change my take here.
Oh, well, already. No, no, no, no.
Well, more so like gaslighting wise.
Like I don't gaslight because I like to be almost
problematically honest, I believe almost with being
direct. Yeah, I love, I love being
direct. That's why I say I love you all
the time. Yeah.
So it shouldn't be 3 times. Oh, 'cause you feel it.
Right, 'cause if you're being honest and like direct you
should you would say it all the time.
But I just get annoyed with couples that are like babe and
sweetheart and. Yeah, that's a little annoying.
Or yeah, I'd rather see like affection through action.
I feel like, OK my take is if someone says I love you or like
a lot of like compliments and words of affirmation, a little
bit of of it is good. But when it's too much, almost
like love bombing, then it makes me think that this person does
it to everybody else, so then it's not special anymore.
Yeah, it's not just to me, yeah, but like.
I don't know, I feel like acts of service can also be like this
person does it to everybody. Yes, it can be toxic.
Yeah. Well, at least or maybe you're
not thinking of me when you're doing it right.
Yeah. Yeah.
I don't know. I guess like I do romanticize
this idea of like someone's there's so much unsaid.
Yeah. Whereas I love you is I love
you. But in the unsaid is so much
more like. You're a, you're a romantic.
I am a romantic, Yeah. What's your sign?
I'm Aries. Aries.
Oh wait, you're Aries. What are you?
Your birthday is coming up. April third.
Yeah. April 3rd Wow.
OK. Oh my God, yeah, I have.
I have a party that I wanted to go to on April 3rd.
It's a Saturday or Friday, I think.
Well, I'm going to LA for my birthday 'cause I get too shy to
have a birthday party where all my friends are.
I have to leave. What?
Yeah. That's a that's a hot take.
Why? Because it's just awkward.
It's like, I don't want to be worried about that or people
having fun at my party. Stuff like this.
I almost want to be anonymous. What do you I mean, I just don't
have a birthday party. Yeah, well then it's people
like, oh, you're not doing anything for your birthday.
Yeah, that's kind of sad. But so you're gonna be spending
time by yourself in LA. In LA, yeah.
Wow. Well, actually I've that's.
Actually liberating. I have a friend that lives
there. You're gonna spend with one
friend for your birthday. For my birthday.
OK, that's well, yeah, I, I think that's good.
Yeah. I feel like I don't wanna like
sometimes I don't wanna like mix my friends cuz I feel like they.
OK, this is yeah. This is like comedy related.
Comedy specific because there's like bringer shows and sometimes
bringer shows I invite different friends that are in different
friend groups. But when they come, the host
asks them who are you here to see?
And they're always like, oh, Rachel.
And then the hosts sit them together and I feel like they
they're like forced to talk to each other and I feel a little
awkward about it. Are your friends like your
different friend groups are not vibing their different energies?
Yeah, I feel like sometimes. Well how are they have like more
like straight laced? Or like, like, I don't know,
like if you, if I invite a guy that I'm kind of seeing and then
like they sit them with like a bunch of friends, then I feel
like. That's a little awkward, I know.
Yeah, I love to do that, though. I love.
There's nothing I actually no, but I love talking to my
friends, potential partners. What if like it's just you're
like not so close friend like my my potential partner Like would
that be like? Yeah, actually, right.
I won't know what to say. Yeah, 'cause you don't know me
that much. You don't know that, Yeah.
Well also I believe, I'm sorry I'm contradicting myself
literally every other time, but I also believe my friend's
boyfriend. I have nothing to do with him,
he doesn't exist to me. Oh, OK, so you don't want to
talk to them? But I love talking to my friends
dates and being like, what's what are you about?
Like what's going on with you? Like.
I like that, yeah. Like makes them feel a little
pressure. Yes, I do like applying the
pressure and be like, what do you want to do with your life
like? Yeah, yeah.
Like what are you going to do with my friend?
Like like, yeah, I like, I guess I like to do that with like just
any man, I guess. Yeah, actually make them
uncomfortable, any man? Yeah.
Wait, what did I say?
I feel like I like to have them a little scared.
I don't remember what I did, what I said that I did.
But anyway, what's the third time that you say I love you in
a relationship? So I'm sorry I'm realizing I'm
talking over you, but. It's no, no, it's fine.
Sorry. I'm talking over you too.
It's. OK, I'm getting too excited.
No, I'm excited too. Yeah, that's good.
No, all the great podcasters talk over each other.
Yes. Yes.
The third time is when you're about to leave them.
You say it one last time. But then if you said it 2 times
and then like you have one last time left and then I'm gonna be
like OK, I don't want to hear it anymore.
You're like, I don't want to hear any more from them.
Or you mean? Like, like if I hear I love you
again, that then it'll mean that they're leaving me.
So I don't want to hear I love you again.
But if I don't hear I love you again, then I'll feel insecure
and then I'll like be like, do you even love me?
Do I? But it seems like your love
language is words of affirmation then.
Maybe I am, but I also like, do I like, I like acts of service
and I like gift giving. Like I like, you know, giving,
giving them, giving people little gifts.
OK, I, I met a guy and he doesn't want a relationship, but
he loves like cooking with like his date, his casual dates.
But so he's saying like he's a, he's a bad, he said he's a bad
fuck boy because he doesn't just fuck.
He does like all the kind of cute stuff with the girl.
And then like some girl said that he's a good fuck boy in
that sense because he's he's a fuck boy under like cover.
Yeah, yeah. But he's still like this, like
he's still like leaving them and disrespecting them in that way.
Why? Or like he's like not committing
to. Them, no, he's not committing to
them, but he's like doing like, yeah.
I kind of am for that. You are for that.
Well, I'm like, if you're being honest with someone, but you're
still, you know what I hate? I hate when people are like, so
many men do this, do this these days where they're like, I don't
want to be in a relationship with you before you even ask
them. It's like, I never wanted to be
in a relationship with you either.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.
You're just assuming that I want that.
Obviously I don't want that. Yeah.
OK. So when they said that, then I'm
like now I kind of now I'm interested.
Yeah. It's like.
I don't know what they say when they say I don't want a
relationship. You're like, now I'm interested.
Yeah, 'cause like what? Why?
Like why don't you want a? Relationship.
I was going to say no, but why you're saying?
No. Why are you saying no?
Exactly why are you saying no? Yeah.
Well, it's 'cause they're freaking insecure.
I don't know what's wrong with them.
Well, in that sense, if I'm using reverse psychology, then I
should be the one saying like, I don't want a relationship with
you 1st. So then they will be like, I was
going to say no first, but you're saying no, yeah.
And so then they would want. Yeah, well, it's like a game of
cat and mouse who's most disinterested.
Yeah, that's so boring to me, though.
I wish. Like everyone's so not
everyone's like nonchalant this like everyone has to be the most
nonchalant, right? That's the competition we're
under. Yeah, really.
Yeah. It's like the competition of
like, who's more nonchalant? I I hate that about New York.
Is it just New York? I think it's the whole world.
The whole world. Oh, my God.
What's OK? Have you been dating, like, when
you were not in New York? Yeah.
Have y'all? Where?
Where have you been? I've been in Boston.
Oh, and there, I mean, I was just like dating around.
Do you want me to tell you some of the guys there?
No. OK.
Like what they would do? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were just. Do you think there's a
difference? Between the men in Boston versus
New York, yeah, yeah, I think in Boston they're more like,
they're more like bidding their time.
They have more time. New York, everyone.
We're almost spoiled for choice. OK.
So like by bidding their time you mean like they are more like
they feel like their clock is ticking for finding a partner?
Yeah, or in Boston. In Boston, it's more like you
catch a fish, you keep that fish.
Right here is. Here is like you have so many
fish. It's catch and.
Release. It's catch and release.
Yeah, Yeah. And I was honestly, because I've
been celibate a year, I haven't been able to really test the
waters. You've been celibate.
For a year. I've been celibate for a year.
Is that intentional? Yeah.
Oh, so you're an intentional celibate?
So you're an insult? No.
No, I'm a voluntary celibate.
So yeah, yeah, yeah. But Loki, I'm trying to break
out of it. Yeah, I'm trying to have sex.
Try to have sex. OK, try not to say I love you.
More so often, yeah. Why are you?
Why? Why did you become celibate?
I think because I was like, not having sex for the right
reasons. Like, yeah, I was seeing the
world very sexually, yeah. When you were celibate or before
you were celibate? Before I was celibate, oh, I was
just not like taking the time to think like, why am I having sex
right now? Not that I would have sex that
often, but like you have enough sex with like he's the most mid
guy ever. You're like what the fuck am I
doing? Yeah, I sometimes think that
too. Yeah, yeah.
And when you take it off the table, you could just be like
OK, so I actually have to know them as a person I guess.
So have you been dating or you you've just been like, yeah.
I've been dating a little. OK.
I've been dating a little, but then I just say I'm celibate and
that ends the whole interaction. No.
Yeah. I guess everybody want, all
everybody want is sex. Yeah, yeah, I guess so.
It's yeah, Yeah. Even even me, though, because
I'm just not. Takes really a long time for me
to like somebody I know. Yeah.
What about you? Are you dating?
For me it's a little weird. I don't know.
I'm like in between. Situationships.
It's hard to it's hard to say. I feel like I'm in a weird
space, but I, I do feel like, so I'm trying to talk about my, my,
my experience when I was dating like more actively.
So I don't know. I feel like I, I, I do find
myself having sex with mid guy and I feel like I, I wish I'm
not doing this. Yeah.
And OK, I've, I was talking to a guy friend and he was like, I
was like, do you ever like have bad sex?
And he's like, no, it's like even though I've had sex that I
feel like I wouldn't do it again.
But I've also like, it felt good at the moment.
And I'm like, I don't know if that's the case for me, 'cause I
feel like I would like, like if I'm having sex with a guy that I
don't find attractive, I feel I would.
I don't know, I wouldn't enjoy it.
I feel like I'd rather not have sex than have bad sex, but I
feel like for him or I don't know if he can represent guys
even though you're not attracted to this person, but like there's
no not no such thing as bad sex. Yeah, which I I don't, I don't
know, that makes me sad 'cause I'm just like, what is the point
of sex anyway? Even like what is the point if
you're not if you're just doing it to do it?
I feel like men almost use it as like a way to dissociate or as a
crutch. Like I need to have sex like pre
programmed, right? That's almost how I was viewing
it. I was like, I need to have sex.
Like I need to take this box. But then in the act of it I'm
like, what is it even for? Right.
Other than procreation or something, it is an exchange
like it does strip away a lot of who you are.
It does strip away. It strips away like you're just
bodies rubbing against each other.
But is it meaningful? Wow, it's so deep.
I don't know, I feel. Like this is so philosophical.
About sex, yeah. Yeah.
A lot of a lot of heavy questions.
That's OK. OK so I I So what if I said I
love you 4 Times Now I have to like I've already said I love
you 4 times what do I do? I feel like.
At the end of the relationship, I'm like, I'm done.
I've been holding this back. I've I say 100 times, I love
you. I love you, Yeah.
I feel like maybe I should explain more, like my theory of
it, like, right. I feel like when you tell
someone I love you, yeah, you're putting almost a burden on them
because you're saying your emotion just like, and I've
never been in a relationship and maybe it shows.
But like when you tell someone I love you, like you're putting,
let me maybe give me a second to get my bearings.
I guess that's OK, like. Yeah, I see what you mean.
I feel like when I've, I've been told I love you, like when I was
not expecting it and I felt like I had to react and I felt like I
have a pressure to say it back, like, 'cause nobody says I love
you expecting that you'll say, well, I don't love you.
Yeah. Like there's a ritual already
established with the I love you that maybe doesn't feel all the
way real to me. And so I'm like, OK, you can
only say it three times, so you can almost force yourself to be
in that moment, but then you actually do feel it all those
times. But I feel like, is there a
difference between love and just like a rush of, you know,
attraction? Like sometimes I feel like, what
were you saying? Like you were saying, like
falling in love. Like you can say I'm falling in
love with you. What did you say?
Or the Spanish versions. No, like before we started
recording. I'm falling in love with you.
Like you are allowed to say I'm I'm falling in love with you.
Maybe I I don't remember, but I think that actually is a good
solution. Yeah, I'm falling in love with
you. Yeah, instead of saying I love
you. Maybe there's a love.
More of a bridge, yeah. Yeah, I I feel like I've done
that. I'm falling in love with you.
That's such a player move, to be honest.
Rachel, I'm falling in love with you.
Yeah, I mean, then they don't have to say I love you back
because I didn't say I love you. Just I'm falling in love with
you. Yeah.
I'm currently in a state where I'm like, but it does burst out
of you. It does.
Like, that was so resonant to me when you were like, it bursts
out of me. I need to say it.
Maybe it's something about me. Maybe I have I have problem.
No, maybe I need to. Like I feel like it's like part
of love bombing, isn't it? No, but if you actually
earnestly feel it, I think the problem is, the problem is we
can't control how we feel. Yeah.
And we might love somebody at one point.
Yeah. And then not love them the next
day. So I should say I love you for
the moment. Like I love you right now.
Yeah, I love you at like I've been loving you recently.
I've been loving you recently. Yeah, that's actually so sweet.
If someone told me I've been loving you recently, that's very
kind. Yeah, so cuz you.
Yeah, I'm not gonna say I love you forever because then I'll be
lying to you. Cuz I don't know if I'll love
you forever. Yeah.
Yeah, that's I think the three times I'm like, I love you.
Such a deep statement. You can say I've been loving you
recently. More specific terms to that
person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, I've been loving you since we met.
I've been loving you for the past three months.
I've been loving you since, like, I don't know.
I don't know, Memorial Weekend I.
Don't know. I've been loving you since
specifically Memorial weekend. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, put a timestamp on that exactly.
Yeah. Well, OK, you can say I love
you, but you have to renew it like it can't.
It can't be a, you know, forever.
Yes, it's like a lease. Yes, it has a specific time.
Yeah. And if you change your mind
before the, the specific before the lease ends, you have to like
pay a penalty like there's, there's, yeah, there's, you
know, punishment for that. Yeah, I fully agree with that.
I I'm like I damn, I just lost my train of thought.
Well, 'cause I was just thinking about like this time.
I thought you didn't go out last night.
I didn't go out last night. No.
Well, when you said lease, I'm thinking about this time my mom
got divorced and this time this well, this one time when my mom
got divorced, her and I rented a car from in Texas and the car
had a colony of Wasps living in it.
What And like she was recently divorced.
Like we were thinking a lot about love and lost love and
like, you know, once, can you ever really stop loving
somebody? And then the whole time we had
these Wasps. Like like a like a lot of white
guys who are like kind of like white and like, you know, Wasps
like you had, you had a backseat, A roll of like the
guys in like Patagonia jacket, a trunk.
Full of Wasps that would be. Oh my God, that would be
actually way worse than living the bugs that we had in that
freaking car. That's so funny.
No, they were actual. Actual actually like bugs, like
flying Wasps. Not the ones in like Wall
Street. Yeah, OK, yeah, even though
those are more dangerous than than the bugs.
Yeah, but I don't know, when you said Lisa reminded me of that,
'cause I was like, damn, like sorry, love lost.
Yeah. Yeah, that was just yeah.
Oh, we that's the story. What's the where?
Where'd the story? Go away.
That's that's basically the story.
Just that like basically what I want to ask you is the story is
about my mom recently divorced and us in that car with the
Wasps. Yeah.
But can you really stop loving somebody?
Because that's what me and my mom were thinking about.
Like in that car full of Wasps. You talk about that with your
mom. Yeah, well, actually only
recently, though. We weren't having these
vulnerable conversations before. What prompted the change I
wonder? Yeah, cuz I feel like is this a
very like, is this a typical immigrant mom move?
Like you don't talk about vulnerable stuff with him.
Yeah. How do you how did you start?
I wanna, I wanna know. Yeah, she actually started going
to therapy, I think. Well, she actually, wow.
She has not gone to therapy, but she watches YouTube videos of
therapists. OK, OK.
That's good. And I feel like that's led to a
lot of discussions. She's opening up to.
You. Yeah, but I'm also still kind of
reserved, I'm realizing like. You're the one user one now.
Yeah, I have some things to hide.
Yeah. It's actually beautiful though,
thinking of my mom being in love and no, I don't know that makes
you cry all like just thinking about I like.
OK, that's something else, something else my mom just told
me. So I'm going to China next
month, next week. And I bought some like clothes
to send to my mom's address so she's she can like bring it to
me. So then I can bring bring it
here. And I bought like a like a cute
set that's like like a black and red like skirt set.
And, and my mom got the package. She's like, she's like, this is
so short. What are you gonna?
Can't you actually wear this? So I'm like, I'm 30 years old,
Why are you still doing this? By the way, I.
You're 25. You are 25, Rachel.
So. OK, my heart take I I gonna I'm
gonna start telling people that I'm 30.
Yeah, yeah. Why?
'Cause I feel 30, 'cause I feel I identify.
This has been OK. I'm gonna tell people I'm 35.
Why are you upping it now? Wait wait wait.
You feel 30? Spiritually.
Morally Like in which sense? I feel 35, not 3030.
Thirty is just me being more like, you know, conservative
about that. Yeah, I actually feel 35.
Why? Why 35?
Because I feel like I've been feeling 30 when I was 20, so now
I'm 25 I've I should be feeling 35.
That Minsky lyric. Do you listen to Minsky whiskey?
You don't have whiskey? Wait, maybe?
She's a Zurich. I was so young when I behaved 25
and now I feel like I've grown into a tall child.
Oh, a tall child. Yeah, sometimes I feel that.
I OK also about tall child. I was telling this joke about
like, I, I say, I sometimes I feel like I don't have accent or
as people can't tell that I have an accent or if I'm a immigrant
from China when they first meet me.
And someone said you should say it's like being a tall child
because children are not tall. And if you're tall, people are
gonna think you're like, you're an adult, but you're not.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Being a tall child as is like an
analogy for like having an accent.
Having no accent. Having no accent.
Yeah. Oh, interesting.
Like being two kids in a trench coat.
Almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Anyway, what were you talking
about? I completely I completely
forgot. I thought I was the one having a
hangover. No, I'm just actually a very
Spacey person, to be honest. OK, But you were doing your take
about how you want people to think you're 35.
OK, Thank you. Which is very interesting
because most people, like most women want, are imprisoned by
the age and the beauty complex and all this like women have to
pretend to be younger. I guess if I'm like 50 I would
also think I'm 35. You were spiritually 35.
Forever. Forever 35, Yeah.
Well, it's an interesting age 'cause it's like you're not 40,
you're in your mid 30s. I mean, Sex and the City was so
35. Yes, OK, I'm ready to be in my
Sex and the City era. Yes.
No, I feel like I 'cause I feel like I've lived a life.
How am I only 25? I feel like I've I've been
through so much, but I like the numbers don't add up so well.
The numbers of my age doesn't add up, but I feel like the
numbers in my bank account kind of goes up to 25 years old.
Someone some some my bank account looks like someone who's
25 year old bank account because.
You are you are 25. Yes, I feel like maybe I should
calibrate on that. But you were also saying like
being 35 or saying you're 30. Yeah, but doing things that a 25
year old does. Yes yeah, yeah OK.
I feel like I'm mentally like 35, but I have everything else
25 So it's like me being like having the mind of a 35 year old
living in a 25 year old body. Yeah, which is the best thing.
Like that's why I mean there's also like, you know, the beauty
standard and everything. So I feel like I right now I
have the privilege of being young, having a young
appearance, but I also have the mind of a 35 year old woman.
So I'm like best of both worlds. So I I feel good about that,
yeah. I actually am loving this.
Yeah, it's it's very like, like those ancient Greek like beasts
that have the head of a lion but the body of a scorpion.
That's you with your 35 year old mind.
That's that's what I'm going to dress up As for Halloween.
Yes, we need that. Yeah, you don't feel you, Do you
feel your age? I want to be like Alexa Demi,
who has no public record of her age if you go to her Wikipedia.
Really. Yeah.
I didn't know that. If you go to her Wikipedia it
says I don't know what it's question mark when she was born.
Like not even like an estimate. They don't like have like a
range of the time that they think that she's born.
They have a range in some articles.
Oh, but I would love to be mystery.
Like we don't know when she was born.
That is kind of cool. You could be like 150 years old
and nobody knows. Wow, maybe that maybe she is.
Maybe she like, old. Yeah, that's that's some part of
the secrets the government's trying to keep from us.
Yeah, yeah. How old Alexa Debbie is?
Yeah. Let us know I reveal the files.
Yeah. Yeah.
What? Were you saying?
I just, I don't know, I feel like also with my people are
nicer to you if they think you're younger, which I think is
true. Oh, because they think you're
dumb. Yeah, whereas if you're older
and you're still acting dumb, people are like, what is wrong
with her? Oh, you're right.
But if you're young but and you're acting old, people are
going to think that you're smart.
Yes, well, that's your problem, that you're in a 35 year old in
a 25 year old. 'S body.
Yeah, I guess not. That's not always a good thing
because people would think, assume that I'm smart, but I'm
actually not. Really.
You don't think you're smart? Well, I think I'm smart,
actually. Never mind.
Well. It depends what kind of smart?
Like do you think you're street smart or book smart?
I think I am both. I think I'm I'm OK.
Do you think you're book smart or street smart?
I think I'm like, not street smart.
Well, I actually burnt Mac and cheese, yes, on Friday, and I
got carbon monoxide poisoning. Oh my God.
Yeah, OK. That's why I'm Spacey.
Probably, yeah. OK, you're the one that's
getting high. I'm the one that's getting high.
I'm freaking gas bro. Carbon monoxide.
But he does. How does he feel?
I'm like forgetting things. I'm forgetting things and I have
headaches. Oh no, but I'm also using it as
an excuse to be messy and send DMS.
Oh, I have a problem with sending DMS too.
You send DM What's your Yeah? What's your favorite DM you've
ever sent? OK I have this problem.
When I get drunk I start sending DMS to celebrities.
I want to see these please. I'm like, I feel so vulnerable
because when I'm famous, I have so many people I have to
apologize to. Like, like, whenever I like, I
see I sent the DMS that I sent to the celebrities that I sent
DMS to, I feel like I would be friends with them.
Like, it's always someone that I feel like maybe I just saw or
like, I feel like we have a connection.
Like we. Yeah.
Like the other day I saw Hassan Minhaj downstairs my apartment.
And obviously the day I saw Hassan Minhaj was the worst day
that I looked. I know, I know.
I couldn't look worse. And for I forgot his name and he
was like wearing like a suit and sunglasses.
I forgot his name. Like I was like, are you a
comedian? And I'm like, and he's like,
yes, he shook my hand. He's like, nice to meet you.
And then I, I ran away. I was like so scared.
He's so beautiful. Yeah, he is.
Oh my God. Yeah.
He said yes to being a comedian. That's interesting.
Huh. Because I he's a.
He's a comedian. Oh, he asked you if you were a
comedian. No, no, I asked him.
Oh, he's a comedian because he's like a streamer or something
like that. Wait, he's a comedian.
His son. Oh, his.
I'm thinking, you know what? I'm thinking of his son, the
streamer who's really sexy. Okay, you're thinking about
Hassan Minaj. Minhaj.
Yeah.
Sorry, I was thinking with Hassan it's okay, but both are
actually very beautiful. Right.
Yeah. So I sent him with you.
Have a DM, did he ask to open for him?
No, he has like a setting that he doesn't receive DMS from
random fingers. So thank God.
Thank God more. Every celebrity should be doing
that. So I don't want to send them
stupid DMS and then they read it well.
What do you say? Or are you just saying hey?
Yeah, so like, oh, I just saw you dancing my apartment.
I really like your stuff and stuff like that and.
Did you have like a seduction line?
No. Oh, just very nice.
Yeah, or I've how come I Oh my God.
OK, this is like I have 6 minutes left.
Can I just reveal all the DMS that I've?
Please, please tell me all of them.
I've sent Martin Scorsese's daughter DM because I I saw her
and I talked to her at a party and I felt like, well, we're
friends now. I can send her Adm Yes.
But I was like, Oh my God, if you ever want to come to China,
let me know. Oh.
My God. I feel so vulnerable, like, I
feel like I was like so drunk when I sent that.
Obviously when Martin Scorsese's daughter, Francesa Scorsese,
come to China, she's not gonna come to me.
But. I think she should bro.
Right? Yes.
OK Francesca, please please reply on Rachel's DM because
she'll take you out. Yeah, I'll take you.
Yeah, we'll, we'll we'll have a good time.
I've also sent DMS to. Oh my God, there's so many.
Wait. OK, I think.
OK, one more. It's like a DJ that I saw, have
I talked about this before? I'm like podcast.
So it's a DJ that I saw and he's like mid to high tier DJ.
And like I was he had a new song released and he played it at the
set that I saw. And I was like, I couldn't
figure out what the lyrics are. And I try to find like look up
the lyrics online, but it's such a new song.
There's no like lyrics that you can just Google And then like, I
don't like that. The last line of the song was
Bitch, I'm not a couch, so I was like, what does that mean?
Bitch, I'm not a couch, don't sit on me.
Yeah, I don't know what it means, so I I asked him.
In the DM. And he read it like it says
seem, but he didn't reply to me. Damn, I know I was.
I'd rather that you just don't see it, you know?
Don't read it if you're not gonna reply.
Exactly. Don't leave me on red.
I feel that. Right.
If I'm A Celebrity, I'm gonna, yeah, at least like your
message. If, well, you've received creepy
DMS for sure though, you don't read those.
That's true, yeah. Do you have this creepy DMS?
No, I mean like some people DM nice stuff.
This one guy was like, and I rarely received received like
DMS like this, but this one was guy was like, Oh, we fans, when
are you coming to Vancouver? And he signed his name and he
was like me and my 78. He was like me and my 78 year
old wife and I'm like. That's so sweet.
That is kind of sweet. Like, that's really nice.
Signing your name at the end of the DM, that's bring that back,
yeah. Well, actually, I want to send
Adm to a celeb, OK? I think me, everyone's saying
this. I think me and Hudson Williams
would be friends. I think we would be friends.
I think yeah, you should. I would say in the DM hey I'll
send him a song. Yeah, you should do it right
now. Well, I don't have my phone.
I'm like, hey, we'll craft after.
We'll craft after. Yeah, I'll send him.
I'll send him. I'll send him.
Wild Horses by Wolf Alice.
OK and be like this is a cool song I've been listening to.
That's so lame, that's my DM. Okay, not even like, if you
like, you should end with like an open-ended question that's
like, that will boost your like reply rate.
What are you doing later? I thought he's like he has a
girlfriend. Never mind.
You didn't know. I thought he didn't really have
a girlfriend. Cool.
Did you see that video of him giving a girl a vape?
I don't know. I didn't see there's this.
Beautiful video of him dancing. Video of him is beautiful, yeah.
But there's this one where he's like dancing with the model and
he's feeding her a vape like he's holding it for her to vape.
Oh my God, that's kind of sexy, He.
Can't have a girlfriend he's if he's doing that.
Right. Yeah, even if he does, I mean.
Yeah, maybe it's like a. Front, maybe he has to say he
has a girlfriend, so then he doesn't get DMS to like scare
off people, you know, I think people do that.
That's true, but I would be down and be just his friend.
Yeah, though to be honest. Oh, and not to be like, but I
would be Connor Story's friend as well.
Yeah. You said that like, really
reluctantly. No, actually, because the truth
is I think I don't want to say this about someone who's taken
because I didn't realize he was taken.
But I would marry Hudson Williams and I would befriend
Connor Story And I think Connor Story and I, that's my
parasocial relationship. I think Connor and I would be
friends, OK? Like good friends.
Have you seen like like their like Connie?
What is his name? Connor.
Connor Stories Connor stories. Childhood Like tape.
Oh yes, I've seen his YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was very sweet. It was very sweet.
There might, I don't know if do you have a pair of social
relationship with anybody. What does that mean?
It means it's a celebrity that you're like that.
We're friends in my head. Oh, in my head.
I. I think I'll be good friends
with Bo and Yang. My God, yeah, I think you guys
would click. I think so too.
OK, I've looked up the timeline. So it seems like Bo and Yang and
Ariana Grande are really like besties now.
And so back when Ariana Grande just like blew up like break
free kind of era problem, that kind of era for Ariana Grande.
Bowen Yang was a graphic designer when that happened.
So if that if if Bowen Yang as as himself, as a he like I'm
just trying to say like right now, I'm I'm not nobody right
now, but like maybe later I'll be friends with someone who's
like very big right now. Yeah, well, he, I think he's
gonna be in this bed. He's gonna be in this bed next.
I hope so. Yeah, get him on.
OK, that's the next person. Well, I think I've already sent
with you. So that one is, yeah.
Yeah. He didn't see you.
He didn't reply. It's OK.
Well. OK, I have a problem apparently.
I think it's beautiful, though. It's very human to reach out to
people. Yeah, want them to.
Come on. Yeah.
I know, I know Celeste Yim who was like the head writer for
SNL. You know her.
No, I don't know. Her.
Them. Sorry.
Them. Them.
Oh, them, yeah, yes. I don't know them, but I heard
of a story of how they met, how they got their job was they met
Bowman at a birthday party and they just sent them a packet.
That's crazy. That is crazy.
OK, I do agree. Like I like just meet people at
the most random occasions in New York.
Yeah. Like I met a very like a big
influencer just out of this like on the street.
And then like I was asking him about like doing podcasts and
stuff right before I met him, right before I started doing
podcast. Oh cool.
Oh my God, did. He give you good advice.
I think so, yeah. Are you good at like, meeting
people? Like first impressions?
No. Oh, really?
Maybe I am. I don't know.
Depends on the day. I I definitely didn't give a
good first impression to Salman Hodge.
Because you're rushing. Yeah, I don't think I give good
impressions really. If I know them, if I know that
they are a celebrity, I don't give good impressions.
But when I met that like, like podcaster that's kind of
popular, I didn't know that he was a podcaster.
So I was like, cool, I was chill.
Yeah, I feel like I'm the same. I'm bad at pretending I don't
know somebody. Yeah.
There was like a tik toker at a bar the other day and it was
just awkward. I was like you're getting a
vodka cranberry. Me too.
Damn. OK, OK, one more story.
I have to say this because I feel like I have to like it's
like have to get it out. I met James Austin.
James Austin. Was his last name James.
I don't know Butler, James Austin, but.
No, the person for SNL who does like Trump impressions.
Oh my God, John. Johnson, yeah.
James Austin Johnson. I think so.
I know, I just know him as JAJ and I, I saw him just casually
like I stepped on him. I was like walking and he like
we both like jaywalked and cuz he jaywalked and I jaywalked.
After him, Oh my God. And I stepped on his like back
of his kneel and the. Back of his.
Knee, yeah, no, no, no, the back of his like heel, sorry heel.
And I was like, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, are you the guy
from SNL? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm
James. But I didn't hear it and I
forgot his name. So I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I didn't repeat his name. He was even asking me my name.
And I still like, yeah, I still didn't know his name when I when
I was there. I felt so rude and I felt like I
was so like, I was too excited to like, yeah.
To meet him, yeah, but still, like, I bet you were good.
Like how long was the interaction total?
Like 30 seconds. Yeah, yeah.
And we were walking like to the same direction.
So we were like walking. If I started pretending we
didn't just talk. Damn, that's awkward.
Yeah yeah. Sorry to all the celebrities
that I OK. And then I DM D him afterwards.
What did you say to him? I was like, sorry.
I was like a little yeah to here, to all the celebrities
that I've DM D I'm sorry. I love you.
I need to get like take a class like from you about what DMS
you're sending. I think it's actually, well, I
think it's beautiful that you're sending very earnest DMS like
you're being very like nice, but and sincerely.
If you should take a class from the.
DMS I send, well I think that the Ms. I send are weird.
It's OK. I mean, even if you're sending
the earnest one, you don't get a reply.
So maybe like. Yeah, maybe become more earnest.
No, maybe become more weird so then they are, you know, they're
intrigued. Yes, they're going to.
Talk about it with their friends.
Oh my God, there was this well, this was not a celebrity, but
there's this guy on hinge. I'm still mad that he ghosted
me. He was like, he was like,
there's something wrong with my car.
And then he sent me 100 pictures of his car.
Oh, I was like, oh, OK, there's something wrong with my car.
And then I sat a really zoomed in picture of Tow Mater and and
he was like, oh and. I love your style OK dating of
like pint messages. It's kind of random.
Yeah, well, actually more so. It's a visual joke, guys.
It's a visual joke, OK. And.
I'll try to like post like if you can send me the.
Pictures I'll send you the DMS please and then and then he was
like oh, I'm not sure what I'm seeing and then I'm like oh it's
tow mater guys. It was really funny over guys.
It was really funny over a. Text I'll make sure to like.
Put the pictures underneath. Maybe put fake laughter in the
background of an of an audience. I will.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's my DM story. OK, well, I feel like I should
wrap up because we we've run out of time.
And I just want to say that I've been very much enjoying your
Instagram stories. Oh my God.
I love it. Like it's like my yeah it's my,
it's my must do. Like my checklist every day.
Wait, that means the world? Really.
Yeah, that means so much. Oh my God.
Yeah, so everybody follows Vinny because her posts are so funny.
Like watch all of her stories please.
Oh, my God. That means the world.
Thank you, Rachel. Yes.
I I think you're so freaking funny, dude.
Yes, thank you. Like, I I still remember you,
you at that mic. Like it made a huge impression
on me. Yeah.
The one that I don't remember. The one that you don't remember
and you got harassed by some random white guy?
Don't remember what you're talking about.
So many. Yeah.
I was like which one? But I'm a huge fan of you and
thank you so much. That means the world.
Huge fan of you too. Yeah, everybody follows Beanie
and everybody follows the podcast.
If you're listening, you haven't followed the podcast.
Please follow the podcast on either Spotify or Apple podcast
or wherever you're listening to this.
It'll mean the world to me because that's what Spotify's
telling me to do, like ask your listeners to follow you.
So I'm trying to do that and implement that.
So thank you. And if you could give me a five
star, Not too much to ask, just no need to.
Maybe if you want to, if you're really a big fan, leave a
comment. You know, that's it.
Leave something nice. Hey, Tag Bowen, tag Bowen.
So he comes. I think he should come.
He should come, yeah. And he works nearby, so I really
wouldn't even be that big, right?
Oh, not to tell people where you live.
Not today. Oh, OK, leave it out.
I. Think it's OK.
It's it's very, it's a big, big building.
Big New New York's very big. Yeah, it's OK.
Well. Thank you be thank you for
having me, this was so fun.