Up to date, I've had three men that written me poems and one
guy written me a song. And I'm not impressed by that.
I'm not impressed by any of that.
It's like whenever they do, it's like, like at the the third guy
who's written writing me a poem, he's like, he like you must be
so impressed that I'm writing you a poem.
I love you so much that I'm writing you a poem.
Yeah. Like this is the third time.
It's that it's. It doesn't.
It's not doing me anything like write me my, I don't know, write
me my resume that that'll give me more like I'll like that
better than. That does turn me on, though,
when a man uses his competency to help me.
Yeah. Like when I, you know, it goes
to whether it's like problem solving or like, well, I can
introduce you to somebody like that is just like, wow.
Yeah, yeah. You know we love a problem
solver. A problem solver.
Yeah, like a like a like a hunter, but modern hunter.
Yeah, that is modern Hunter. So OB, what's keeping you up
tonight? Modern men are gold diggers and
they just rebranded it as emotional stability.
OK, elaborate. OK, they use coded language
these days. They do, they do, right?
I've been having some job interviews and it's a lot of
codes and I I don't understand what kind of codes are you
talking about so. Example like they'll be like,
oh, she comes from a good family.
Oh, that's, that's the code, yeah.
Means Hamptons House. Yeah.
She got a great comes from a great school, Hamptons house.
I thought you were gonna say Ivy.
It was still Hamptons house. She has an amazing circle of
friends, many Hamptons. Houses exactly, Yeah.
So you have all the neighbors are from all the friends are
also from the Hamptons house. Yeah, and The thing is, like
women are are still villainized for trying to marry up, but men
are quietly doing that these days.
Yes, they're marrying up. I agree.
I I was just thinking about this these days.
Oh yeah, yes, I think I feel like I've been talking to men
and they are talk telling me about like their exes, like
being richer than them and I didn't know they do that.
I thought that and they're very comfortable with that.
They're very happy about that. They're like, oh, I really love
the, the, the purse, the wallet that she got me.
It was a Louis Vuitton wallet. Yeah, she's, she's so much
richer than me. I don't need to support her.
She can like she was actually asking to like give me gifts,
like support me. So I feel like they are actually
enjoying that. And you nailed it on the head.
It's not that they want low maintenance women, they want
high maintenance women, but that they don't have to find.
Wow. And I know this because I have
two brothers. So I get to sit like, I'll fly
on the wall. And they're like in the age
range of like late 20s, like early 30s.
So it's like prime dating. They get like the pick of the
litter and they're with their friends.
And so I'm just listening to all these guys who work across like
finance, tech, even in the medical field.
And these are the considerations that go into them deciding if
they're going to date this woman seriously.
I agree. Yes, yes, yes.
Oh my God. Wait, can you say the line again
like the high maintenance and low maintenance?
So they don't want a low maintenance woman, they want a
high maintenance woman that they don't have to pay the
maintenance on. Wow.
Do you know how expensive it is to have your life together?
Yes. Wow, you're just preaching.
Keep going if you have more. Oh my God.
Like, think about it, you got you got your, your physical, you
got your mental, you got your spiritual, all those things.
They need to be fed, they need to be exercised, they need to be
challenged, they need to be rested.
I mean, that's like a whole Berry's boot camp class there.
That's like 45 bucks. It's.
Various boot camp classes are 45 bucks 40. $5 it's insane it.
Is insane. It's it's insane how much you
have to spend in this. Also, it's in the city.
Like how much it it is to like just live a normal life.
So if you have like I feel like people are women are getting
called out for having high standards or being high
maintenance for just wanting to do the normal things like like
the bare minimum things to go to a yoga class.
And it's like these are necessary things that help make
us grounded, another coded language, which that's an
expensive thing to. Be grounded is just a way of
saying that she does expensive things but I don't need to pay
for. It don't have to pay for it like
even the ability to sleep in. Oh yeah.
I mean just the ability to sleep.
When is the last time you slept in I?
Have not we could also get to it because I have a checklist for
how to not like how to avoid these gold digger guys.
OK, how do I, how do we do that? OK, so.
Well, I guess we could back up just a little bit.
I love that you're you have a checklist for avoiding these.
Gold digger guys. OK here's the checklist is like
one hobbies avoid a man with hobbies.
Wait. Andy Hobbies I thought you were
going to list. Hobbies.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. These are we're and we're not
ladies. We're not calling these red
flags. I'm over the color red being
villainized like everyone looks great in red.
No, we're going to call this risk management.
This is the Obie's risk management framework for
avoiding gold digging men. 1A man with hobbies.
Just not even. I don't know, no.
OK, OK. Is that what you're going to
say? I don't know a male who likes to
sew. Why don't you ponder on that one
for a bit? I think you right just prove my
point. You're right.
You're right, Right. You're right.
Yes. Ding, Ding, Ding.
You know what that's the sound of?
Ding Ding. Ding, what is that?
Disappointment two. You ready for two?
Oh, I think I'm ready. I'm just running through my
head. Like just all the hobbies that I
thought was green flags that run into my head.
Nah, Nah, Nah. No, you gotta throw them out.
#2. OK.
Dreams. Dreams.
Nothing more dangerous to a woman than a man with dreams.
Not oh really, but they have potential.
Why don't you think about what you just said?
Oh. My God I'm so bad at this.
But it's amazing because your gut reaction is exactly laying
the things that cause like issues for us potential.
And you know, we always get scolded if we're going after a
man's potential. Well, you're right, you're
right, right? Dreams, it starts off with they
have so much potential. Next thing what they had an open
mic doing stand up comedy. Oh, my God, that's so true,
Right? And there's so many of them.
I can't, I can't even. I can't believe it.
I didn't. Yeah.
I didn't see that. The the open mikers.
Yeah. And the and the and the, the
thing about that is now they're poor, but they got the
confidence of a CEO. True.
There's so many confident men out there, right?
It's wait, I've, I think I've seen this somewhere.
This might not be original. It's like men can be so
mediocre, but they are so confident.
But women are so great, but they're so humble.
Yes. Yeah, I think yeah.
Oh my God, this OK, this is a sidetrack.
Sorry to no go distract your your I want to hear the fullest.
But this is a from a Chinese comic, Chinese woman comic.
Her name is Yang Li, and she was she's very famous.
She went on a show and her one of her jokes was about like,
what is it like? Like what I said, like men are
so mediocre. Men are so confident.
And she got like death threats because of that.
She got like, so people are so angry about her.
I so many people sending her messages and people are like
sending hate comments or like, oh, I, I don't even want to date
women like that. And people are like, oh, you,
you can't even get near her or someone like that.
Yeah, but the fact that she got death threats because of that,
it's. Over That is insane.
Yeah. Was it coming from women too?
No, for men. For men, yeah, just like they're
just angry. See, that's ironic because if
somebody was like, hey, you can achieve everything you want by
being mediocre, I'd be like through the roof.
Exactly. You should be more confident
about that. You should actually be doing
something. Yeah.
It's only a three prong framework.
A what? A what?
A three prong. Yeah.
OK, OK. What's the third one?
The third. 1. Is foodie foodie?
You can't even date a foodie. No, no, not even like they're,
they like down to the earth like a food truck food.
That's what you want. No, no, no.
You wanna be eating out of a truck?
Me in this beautiful room. And that's what you see for your
future. Oh my God, you're so right.
I got called like that stare that you just gave me.
I don't know. I, I feel like I've seen my past
24 years of life, 25 years of life just passing through me.
All the mistakes I've made. Oh, man.
Oh, thank you. The foodie Foodie is woman's
talk. OK, that's going to be a
controversial take, but being a foodie is woman's talk.
OK. In the ancient times, Roman
soldiers would walk for miles eating biscuits.
Roman soldiers eat biscuits. Yes.
I thought they OK Roman. OK.
It's still Yeah, people are cooking.
It was just some kind of like kind of dough thing that they
would mix. True, true, true.
I was thinking like, like Cavemen.
I'm sorry. Oh, no, no, a little bit, not
too far, but a little bit further than that.
Yeah, they would eat these biscuits.
That is the lineage, ladies, that we need to tap into.
Yeah, we're the gatherers. Yes, Yeah, we're the one that's
taking care of the food in the in the history in like Asian
history. So they shouldn't be the one.
That's like asking for so much. Right.
Variety and. Like, why do you, how do you
have the time to think about food?
You should be like focused on working or something, I don't
know, lowering your cholesterol. Like, why are you walking around
talking about like? Food.
Exactly. Watch those cholesterol guys.
Yeah, and sometimes a lot of like food.
I think some food makes you lose your hair quicker too, right?
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
You're right. I think 40, OK.
I don't know. Hair people with hair No.
What are you talking about? You're or you're or you're?
Now you're adding buns. OK.
I'm trying to add points the the the go digger potential people
with hair because they they haven't seen the other side.
That's a good. One.
I like that one. I don't know.
That's what my mom tells me. She's like, she's like, look for
a man who's balding, really like that, you're gonna get closer to
him, like asking you, you know, to, to do something serious than
a man with a full head of hair. Oh my God, it's so true.
Yeah. Yeah.
I wait. I love your mom.
I know this is how I, how come I have these like raw takes in
this world 'cause my family's from Fiji.
So like, we just basically escaped like pooping into like a
hole in the ground. So I just don't have like the
capacity to romanticize life. No, you can't have a man that's
gold digging you. No, I don't have any gold to
dig. There are a lot, actually a lot
of like men who think women are gold diggers, but they don't
have any gold to dig a. 100% yeah, I, I called one of my one
of my brother's friends out on that.
He was talking about this girl. Oh, you know, she wants my
money. We go out to eat.
She expects me to pay. I'm like, you're a consultant at
Deloitte, like you make 150,000 a year.
What is she digging? Copper.
Like what? What gold is she digging get?
Real they. Talk about that.
To this day, they're like, I can't believe OB said that.
I'm like, yeah, because you got your head up your kotakis.
Like you don't even have gold to dig.
Yeah, I know She can't believe you said that because he doesn't
want to hear the truth. Yeah, he he wish he had more
gold. If he actually has more gold.
OK, Yeah, if someone who actually has a lot of gold,
they're not not afraid of. They're not thinking.
About that, they're not thinking about that.
They're not accusing women or anyone.
Yeah. As a gold diggers, yeah.
Yeah, it's like slow your roll. They're Bezos.
Just cuz you order off Amazon doesn't mean you're Jeff Bezos.
Yeah, no, I feel like, OK, but if I have a, you're right,
you're right. If I have a lot of gold, I
probably wouldn't want, I wouldn't want a gold digger.
I don't know. OK, I've thought about this too.
Like what if you are, what if you are on the other end, right.
So I actually have a, a name for these couples.
I call them the modern mismatches.
And you can see it, you see it especially in New York and in
Boston. Like these guys who like just
look like something sculpted out of a magazine, probably work in
like finance or tech or something.
And then the girl, the woman or not, you know not who you would
expect to be with. And and you're looking at that,
you're like, OK, he's not attracted to her.
He's attracted to her dad's LinkedIn.
Now, let's say you're one of these ladies, OK, You don't want
to be these ladies. You don't want to be with a gold
digger because they will never appreciate you.
They're always going to think that somehow they're doing you a
favor, even though your dad or your family are subsidizing your
lifestyle. Yeah, that's like they're gonna
gaslight you into giving them their the resources. 100%.
Yeah, I OK, we don't talk enough about how like we talk a lot
about how women are marrying up, marrying rich or being gold
diggers. But there's so many people that
I even know, like in person, their boyfriends are asking them
for money or like asking like, oh, could you just lend me 100
bucks? I'll I'll pay you back like
right now, like after a couple days.
But they don't, they never do. And like I feel like there's a
lot of delusional or like very like boy coded women are giving
these men money. It's not like sometimes they
don't even have that much money. They're just like thinking
about, like trying to be nice or, or, or like, I don't want to
say gullible because sometimes they do have some pretty good
excuses to make you fall for it, but.
Well, it's also you nailed it about the gaslighting.
As women, we're trying to fight against the stigma that we are
are after something. So we do that offense an
offensive way an an offense, an offensive defense by being like
here, take money, take whatever and plug into my network to try
to prove that we're not doing that while completely ignoring
that they're actually the ones doing it to us.
And they also they're they're not just gold diggers to like
their romantic partners. Like, I think I, I've seen this
tick tock or whatever article like they like the when you
observe how they act in like social events, like networking
events to like other men who are senior or may bring benefits to
them, You can see how like they're more desperate than a
gold digger. Women who are trying to marry
up. They're they're like doing all
the networking. They have like a whole set of
coded language they they would express to, I don't know,
shareholders like being in the front of finance, like doing
private equity or I don't know the terms, what's the terms like
the front? Front office.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's literally like, like
trained gold diggers. You're literally digging gold
from the shareholders. Nailed it on the head.
So we romanticize these guys with jobs like private equity,
hedge fund, investment banking. You know what all that
translates to? You have to raise capital.
That is, you have to sell and raise money.
You are just walking around digging for gold and that's
where it's like as a woman, you don't want to put yourself in
alignment with these guys because they're going to be
looking to you like, do you have money to put in to give your
family money to put this? Do you have a network I can plug
into? And that's what they're looking
for. You know what?
I don't blame them, but those are not the guys you want.
Yeah. Also, even if you don't have a
network or a family that they can plug into, like just the
fact that you are like as a woman, you're pretty or you're
you, you have a good background. Even if you're not directly
giving them money or resources, having you by their side I feel
like it's already a like bump up their net worth so they can get
more social status and then get more money from the
shareholders. For which they give you no
credit. Yes.
You get no credit for that. You don't get credit for that.
That's true. I never thought about that.
You don't get credit for standing next to the private
equity guy when he's actually your presence actually like.
Helps boost his credibility. Yeah, you know who I think are
the most undertapped resources of in terms of men?
Who? The P, the guys who work in like
the service, the service providers in like financial
service, like anyone from the BIG4, the big four like
Deloitte. KPMGEY was the other one.
TWC, It's not sexy, right? It is not McKinsey, it is not
Goldman Sachs. But those companies, the, the,
the company, the, the firm themselves hold the
relationships. So to be successful in those
companies, you got to be a grinder.
So you're getting these guys who when they achieve success, it is
through them grinding through technical ability more so than
like having to sell or like raise capital.
And so these guys are like diamonds.
I feel like, yeah, it's not sexy.
Their job is never going to sound sexy.
They're going to be boring as hell.
But you know what? You're going to sleep well at
night and you're going to be fed.
Wow. Yeah, OK, I do love me.
I'm boring, man. We.
Do like, why do you want? What do you want to be?
You want to beat Don Draper? You want to date Don Draper?
I mean, like, I'd rather beat Don Draper.
Yes, exactly. I OK, I think I was thinking
about it before too. I was, I was like for like if
I'm describing a guy or like the dates that I want the dynamic to
be in, I want to be the one that's picking restaurants.
I want to be the one that's making reservations, like
getting us into like the restaurants that's hard to get
reservations to. I want to be the impressive 1
and taking control, taking the taking the lead.
And I feel like a lot of guys, they want to do that.
And I feel like that just doesn't work with me.
It might work at at the beginning, but I feel like long
term, I feel like it's not. Maybe we're just too.
We're just too strong women. That's what I was like.
That's what the foodie thing was, right?
That's why I said it's woman's talk.
That's a woman's, woman's area to do like you.
Like you're the ones who's like, oh, like we're like the
gatherers. Like, oh, OK, this is like a
cool place to be. And then they show up and
they're just hungry and thankful.
Like, wow, that's amazing. Yes, yes, yes, we take care of
that part. Like I'm seeing this guy I
melted cheese on cracker. I and I picked, I did crackers
because all the bread in my apartment had molded out like
my, my household is not a bread household.
So I melt this cheese on a cracker.
He's like, that's amazing. Oh, wait, I don't.
Is it? Is it a press?
I feel like I don't know if it's an impressive thing to melt
cheese on a cracker. Is it?
For the right man, for the right man.
That's my point. That is how you weed them out.
You melt cheese on a cracker for cheese on a cracker, melted is
one of the most satisfying things.
If a man see eats that and is like so excited about it, that's
the man for you. That's the that's the anti gold
digger. Oh yeah, yeah.
You don't want a guy who who eats that that you made and then
like I like caviar better. 100% or was like talking about some
stupid thing from Yelp that he's like, well, they do this amazing
Mac and cheese. He's like, why are you thinking
about Mac and cheese? Like, are you eating Mac and
cheese and going out there and like taking over the world Like.
Yeah, yeah, No, I don't think. I don't think.
Wait, I don't know if Jeff Bezos eats Mac and cheese?
No he doesn't, but I'm sure if Lauren Sanchez melted cheese on
crackers he's like this great. I do feel like, OK, I, I don't
know about how like good of a man Jeff Bezos is, but I feel
like he definitely treats Lauren Sanchez well.
I don't know. I I've had this thought too.
I would never want to work for him.
I don't think unless he was going to offer me like stand up
comedian, whatever on Amazon, I will take that.
But yeah, I but I think he treats his woman well.
Yeah. You can tell.
How do you tell? Because of how the woman looks
like, if she's vibrant, that's how I judge.
That's how I judge men. If your wife, if you're, if
you're a successful man and your wife is vibrant and like happy,
then I'm like, OK, you're treating her well.
Where is like Bill Gates wife? She always had looked so worn
and I that's why I was like, I would never want to be before
any of the allegations came out. I was like looking at her.
I was a kid. I was like, something's not
right here for that much money. Why she looks so worn?
Well, she looks amazing. Yeah, that's true.
That's a good point. I didn't think about that.
Now I'm thinking like, what? What is it?
Mark Zuckerberg's wife, I think she's also.
She does her things too. I don't know what to make of
her. I don't.
She's so individualistic and the two of them are like such peers
that sometimes I can't tell. It's like, is she just deciding
this is the fashion choices she wants to make or is there
something weighing her down to? I don't know.
I feel like it's like Mark Zuckerberg's been showing, I
don't know, at least on social media, that he's a good husband
and he does all the like. He wrote a song for her or like
made a statue for her. Oh God.
But it's like, it's like, you know, I feel like this is kind
of like some types of guy that I've been with.
It's like they do all the things to get credits to like, like,
you know, keep a score. Like I've done this thing for
you. You must be so happy that I did
this. But it's not actually like she
didn't ask for it. She didn't ask for it.
Like nobody wants to sit through a song you wrote unless maybe
you're like a famous musician and you're re appropriating like
one of your hits and putting like Obi Obi Obi in it.
They're OK. But like otherwise I really
don't want to like do a one person open mic with you.
Oh my God. One person open like yes, you're
not even famous for that. You're not even.
Like you don't even do that for a.
Living like build some cool AI thing for her that.
Exactly exactly that'd be cool build some like AI thing like
that she wants to do like that would benefit her life.
Like, she's very passionate about medicine and, and she
does, she's involved in a lot of charities.
I if I were her, I'd be thrilled if he donated some kind of tech
around that right? Right, right.
Not I don't need him singing to me.
Yeah, that's. I'd I saw that statue, that
thing that he put in their garden, I was like, I don't, I
wouldn't want that either. Yeah, no, I OK, that's a little
creepy. That's weird.
And then you usually make, I don't know if you like statues
of people are made after they are dead.
Yeah, Yeah. Anyway, this reminds me of, I
don't remember if I talked about this on the pod, but I've had up
to date, I've had three men that written me poems and one guy
written me a song and I'm not impressed by that.
I'm not impressed by any of that.
It's like whenever they do, it's like, like at the third, the
third guy who's written writing me a poem, he's like, he like
you must be so impressed that I'm writing you a poem.
I love you so much that I'm writing you a poem.
Yeah, like, just the third time. It's that it's, it doesn't, it's
not doing me anything like write me my, I don't know, write me my
resume that that'll give me more like a I'll like that better
than. That does turn me on, though,
when a man uses his competency to help me.
Yeah. Like when I, you know, it goes
to whether it's like problem solving or like, well, I can
introduce you to somebody like that is just like, wow.
Yeah, yeah. You know we love a problem
solver. A problem solver.
Yeah, like a like a like a hunter, but modern hunter.
Yeah, that is modern Hunter. Yeah, they're not gold.
Diggers. No, yeah.
Not that I'm thinking about it. OK?
The other day I was thinking, would I be a good sugar mommy if
I have so much money? Would I be a sugar mommy?
I was thinking that. It's a tough one because I don't
know, I think in every woman, regardless of the age or
economics, there's a part of you that wants to be taken.
Care of, right? Yes.
So I want to be taken care of. So.
But if I already make so much money, I don't need to be taken
care of. I wonder, I would love to know
what's going on with Gisele bündchen.
She, I don't know if you know what happened with her, but she
was like married to Tom Brady. They broke up and she got
together with her like martial arts and fitness instructor.
Now they're married and they have a baby.
She she's like almost a billionaire.
He. Nowhere near that, but they seem
really happy. So like that would be like a
modern day sugar Mama situation that seems to be working for
them because he's so grounded in his own masculine.
Energy because he's this like martial.
Arts. Right.
So he's not like threatened by by her.
So I feel like, OK, maybe being like a powerful woman also helps
you find the right man who's not threatened by your power.
Yes. So maybe even if you're not a
sugar mommy, you're already wedding, but whatever man,
you're finding because because you already have the power and
the. Yeah, I do believe we get what
we give out. And if you have substance,
you're going to attract substance.
I have this one girlfriend. I love her to death, but like,
she since college, like she just dated guys who are always kind
of con artists. And then I was like looking at
her. And I was like, there's this
pattern. And when I think about you, my
friend, she's always running schemes.
Oh, what do you mean? Like she just always like she's
the kind of person that will like buy something and then
return it after she's used it type of thing.
And she does it like beyond when you like, we all sort of did
that in college, but it's like you just stop now.
Shouldn't stop. She never stopped like it's just
those kind of things. And and then so these guys that
she dates, they're also gold diggers because her family is
like pretty well off, but she herself doesn't have like money.
So that's where like a lot of her relationships haven't worked
out because then they're expecting when things are
getting serious, they're expecting like her to give more
money. And she's like, well, my parents
have money but I don't have. Money, yeah, it is very.
I don't know, when it comes to marriage, I feel like it's also
a different thing like than dating.
Like it's more serious. It's literally you have to
combine your finances and like, like, whatever the law recognize
you as like a like One Financial entity.
Yeah. So it's, it's a little scary if
if you're the one that's like, yeah, I, I feel like when I was
in China, this like very, very, very.
I don't know about other countries, but back in China,
people who like usually their parents will buy a house for
them. Like guys, parents will buy a
house for them. Like if they don't buy a house,
he's not going to marry someone. Well, yeah.
Like like if I go back to China and marry someone in China, I
automatically have a Yeah, but but usually the woman also has a
house too. Like usually maybe they buy the
house and the woman does like maybe they put in a smaller
percentage but or but it's all like family.
Coming together. Yeah, yeah.
It's like, it's like the marriage, the guy, the the the
guy's parents already planning the marriage.
It's like what in the US the family save for the college, but
I feel like in China they save for the house for the marriage.
So I did some research because I didn't want to be completely
anecdotal about this modern men, gold diggers.
And what popped up was Asian men are the least likely to be stay
at home husbands. And the the rate has been
increasing like drastically since 1989.
It's gone from 11% to 18%, which according to what I was reading
is a pretty big jump for that period of time.
So it's like steadily going up that more men want to be house
husbands. You're not going to you're going
to be very unlikely to find that with an Asian man.
Oh, interesting. His mom won't let him.
Wow, wait, wait, I didn't know. So what does it mean if they're
not stay home husbands? That means they're out there
making money. Yeah, they're out there working.
I do. Like Asian men are another under
untapped resource. Honestly.
Yes, right. Yes.
Honestly I I the Asian girls out there stop dating white men.
The white and the white men were like one of the biggest
percentage of men that are more likely to be stay at home,
right? Like if you could bag yourself
an Asian guy like I've been like you're, it's going to be
amazing. OK, Asian guys out there.
I'm back. Yeah, me too.
And Asian guys are like gotten like cooler and hotter these
days. Yes, they are.
Really. They're.
Tall like they're they, they, they just got swag to them.
Yeah, no, I, I just went back to Asia for a month, honestly.
Yeah, I, I was happy about what I was seeing.
Yeah, like there was like one guy that I was just talking to
yesterday. He's like so obsessed with me.
He like got, he's like first yammed me on my rent note and
he, I thought he was just like a enthusiastic fan, but he's like
just started wooing me for like over 2 years now I think.
And he was asking me oh, can I date you?
And I'm like, I don't know, you're not in America.
He's like, why don't you come back to China?
There's so many Chinese guys who just like blow money on you and
but I feel like the the concept of a lot of people dating white
people, white men is like, they are the ones that are more like
in in position of powers. So they statistically they hold
more wealth, but I feel like they're not spending the wealth
on their women, no. They're not spending on the
women in general and also that statistic is skewed to like a
smaller pool of which most of us don't have access.
To yeah, yeah, yeah. So on in the in the meat, the
the more standard medium, like the bigger pool that most of us
have access to. Women are out earning men, Yeah.
Wait, what's the pool? The women are out earning men.
So most the reason why like husbands have been shifting into
stay at home husbands status is because women are just earning
so much more than them. But then they kind of run the
numbers and they're like, you know what?
Yeah, maybe it just makes sense for you to be home and like take
care of the house or the kids, but not even necessarily the
kids, just like take home care of the house because it's just
the woman just makes so much more.
Wait, actually I feel like that wouldn't, wouldn't be a bad
setup. I I, if I make so much money, I
want to come home with the, with the warm soup, warm, warm dinner
every night. Yeah, I dug up an article on
this. They ran, they followed these
women in like the 80s and 90s who because that was like kind
of the era of like the power woman.
And it was something psychologically happened to all
their husbands, the stay at home husbands where each one of them
cheated on the wives because they wanted to feel like they
were the ones in power. So they would go cheat with like
the the girls like flipping burgers and who thought that
they were amazing. It just I don't know.
It doesn't. It doesn't That don't work.
Oh, wait, yeah. Oh, interesting.
I OK, I I read, I think this is from Ali Wong's stand up
routine. One of her, I think one time she
was saying she's she's very successful and her husband was
she, he graduated from Harvard Business School and then when
she blew up, he like quit his job and become a stay home dad
and sometimes managed his tour, her tour.
So she kind of flipped him into like a stay home dad when she
married him for his earning potentials.
But I remember in her jokes she was saying she doesn't want a
male who's like aspire to be a stay home dad.
She want a male who has the potential, has the ability to
make so much money, but choose to stay at home because of her.
I could see that. Yeah, he was an interesting
case, too, because he's, like, the son of A billionaire or
someone really wealthy. Yeah, like his dad has a ton of
money. And she said that's what fueled
her. They locked her into a very
strict prenuptial agreement. She would get.
No money. So she said that is what gave
her the fuel because she knew at the end of the day if he walked
away she had nothing. Wow, that just gives me
goosebumps now. Yeah, no, but she did.
She's she's the one that's walking away with all her money.
I feel like that's such a power move.
I I wish I could do that someday.
You will. We will, although I wouldn't
want my husband to like think that I don't have like and put a
prenup on me, though I feel like I would.
But that is a good power move. Like to the feeling of of being
the underdog and and then like impressing everyone when they
didn't expect it. I feel like that's a that's a
better feeling than always being the top.
I don't know. I don't know.
I think sometimes like it worked out for Ali Wong, I don't know
if it'll work out for the rest of us.
So I'd rather bat in higher averages where like I'm not
dealing with somebody who's like puts me against the corner and
tells me if this like, you know, if this doesn't work out, you're
walking away with. Nothing, right?
Right. Especially she popped out a few
babies for them like it's. That is true.
True. And she's not like even if her
stand up doesn't work out, she still has a great degree if
she's still a good person. Like, that's not like he didn't
pick up like someone who's flipping burgers.
Not saying flipping burgers. Yeah, if you like their
background still matched. Like she went to UCLA and she
was on a scholarship or something, and she speaks few
languages. I feel like it would be a equal
even if she didn't make all that money from stand up.
That's why I was happy when I heard that they got divorced
because I didn't like, because I, I remember as a kid, I was
like reading about that my mother was like reading it to
me. And I was thinking to myself
that even though she's championing this, like that just
didn't feel right, that she knows that she's not going to
get anything. It just felt like unjust.
And so the fact that she achieved success and then left
him, I was like, good because he didn't.
He never deserved. Her because he.
Didn't value her. Yeah, yeah, she didn't.
He didn't stand up for her when the family wanted to sign a
prenup. Yeah, this reminds me, have you
seen Sex and the City? I started watching some of the.
Episodes. OK, OK.
Which one I was thinking about Like Charlotte.
With Trey. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and she's like, I'm worth. More.
Yeah, she's like, I'm worth $1,000,000.
I think that's such a power move too.
Like you, you're not like I understand the the mentality of
signing a prenup, but like, it is, it is like, yeah, I feel
like it's a very controversial thing.
I've. I haven't.
Yeah, if you are ever married and would you be, would you
accept that? So I literally, I asked my dad
about this. I was like, because I was like,
how do you tell somebody? I don't?
Because he said never sign a prenup.
That's what my dad said. He said never sign a prenup.
I was like, but how am I going to tell them no?
How do you tell somebody no? It sounds so logical.
There's like a lot of good points for it.
And he said, because you'll tell them that you believe in true
love and that love lasts forever, and that this is a
signal that they don't believe that love lasts forever.
And here's the rub is you got to be willing to walk away.
Wow. So I thought that was really.
Cool wow. Take notes ladies.
That's, that's very well put. And I, I think that's also like,
like your like he's coming from a, he's coming the coming.
He's saying not to sign a prenup because he believes that you are
a good person and he believes in true love and, and the fact that
you are worth it even if it doesn't work out.
So yeah, it's, I feel like it's all about self love and self
worth. Well, the irony is my daddy's a
bastard. Like he's he, you know, so he
understands like how life works. So he's always like 20 steps
ahead. And he was like, this is how I
do it. This is the that was like the
blessing curse of my parents is like, they're like, this is how
the world works. And I'm like, I don't know.
No, but they understand it, but they don't do it.
They understand it, but it's like they, they, they're, it's
great lessons. But then I'm I'm happy to apply
it as like who I am, which is not as Machiavellian as.
I see, I see. That's good that they're
teaching you the, the, the you know, the trial centers They've,
they've experienced. Yeah.
Wow. I feel like prenup is not very
much a thing where I grew up. I don't exactly know 'cause I
didn't plan to get married before.
So I feel like you. Didn't wanna give you never
wanted to get. Married.
No, no, no, I don't know. OK.
When I was in when I was in college, I, I was like, I was
like, I'm never getting married, never having kids.
I, I hate men. I, I don't wanna, I, I'm so
fulfilled. I'm so self fulfilled.
I don't wanna tie myself into a marriage or anything.
Like literally we had like an essay about like write about
your future, your future life, whatever.
And then I wrote about like I, I might like, I wouldn't get into
a marriage unless it has some value to me.
Like I wouldn't, I wrote about like it's either finance 'cause
we had readings about like, oh, how you know, there's marriage
green card and there's also marriage benefits in taxes like
taxes in the benefits in the secular.
Objective world. So I wrote about like, I don't,
if I don't have any objective benefits, I will not get
married. And if I get married, I'm going
to have an open relationship. And if I have kids, probably
going to be through a surrogate. Yeah.
Yeah, I can see that. But I feel like I've now that
I'm actually like getting to the age of maybe get people around
me are getting married. I'm like, I maybe I want to get
married. Yeah, I might not be so like
hateful on men. Yeah, I might.
I I still, I mean I am hateful on some behaviors, but I still
believe there's one for me out there.
There is. But there's.
It's very funny because for that class, I think my it was a
random, random class. The professor had a friend who's
a carrot card reader and she did a session for anyone who signed
up. And she was telling me that
family matters a lot in my future.
And I was like, what the fuck this, this girl is not legit.
I was like, I don't see it at all.
And she's like, just wait. And I'm like, wow, what is
happening to me right now? I'm I can see myself being in a
stable long term relationship or a marriage now.
It's it's I don't know. I feel like it, it changes
through time. Sorry, I feel like I'm over
Sherry. That's good.
What? Were you talking about?
Well, I don't know, I forgot to, but you I, I know it's kind of
cool as I always thought, like having a Wikipedia page of just
full of like all your marriages is like so chic.
Are you like Elizabeth Taylor style?
What do you? Mean like she's just have like
put like 6, I don't know, like a ton of marriages.
Like I'm kind of the opposite way.
Like I would, I think like the ultimate like power move is
being able to get married and divorced.
Like you have to be rich to get married and divorced.
Yeah, like you can't that. So it's like as a powerful
woman, being able to just like rack up a ton of husbands and go
through different phases. You'd be like, this is like my
artistic phase. This is my like science phase.
Like that's so cool. Yeah.
How many how many marriages do you plan to?
I wouldn't be down for like 5. Really.
Be like so cool. Yeah, that that's actually a
girl's dream. Honestly, every girl or a lot of
girls, they dream about the wedding, the big ceremony.
It's so fun to be in the dress. Why don't you just do it five
times? Yes I agree that's a good idea.
I could totally make it happen. So even if I meet one person I
just do it 5. Times right yeah yeah you just
have a big party five times even if yeah yeah wow okay, I think
that's we have like 3 minutes left 3 minutes left yes.
I think we should we should wrap up soon.
OK, I had really fun conversation with you.
Is there anything you would like to add before we wrap up?
No, I think I, I think I covered everything.
I mean like I can give you like a sound.
There was like a few sound bites I had in my hand.
Yes, could be fun. Let's see.
I would say woman date for money, men date for Wi-Fi
password and a doorman. And a doorman.
And a more for the doorman, the. Doorman.
Yeah, for the other man in the building, the mandate for the
other. Man, the other man in the
building. Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, the other one I also really like.
I feel like I'm gonna make into a T-shirt okay, like the one
about the maintenance. Yeah, that men don't want a low
maintenance woman, they want a high maintenance woman they
don't have to pay for. Wow, get that on the T-shirt.
Although I am thinking about start with merge this year you.
Have to you have to attribute me you go dash OB yes.
Yes, and I'll say like which episode?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be look, it's gonna
look like Bible. You know when wow both of the
Bible. That's amazing.
There's like a word and A and a comma and and then like the
number. So it's gonna look like that,
but it's gonna look like Bible, but it's gonna be like 33
minutes, 35 seconds. OB Episode 13.