Well, everyone is horny. Everyone's horny, everyone's
really horny. Even your grandparents are
horny. Think about that right now.
They're dead. Oh.
It's OK, It's OK. I've never met them so it's OK.
Me too. I'm sorry.
No. So we get that privilege of not
thinking about that. But if your grandparents are
alive right now, think about them.
OK. Anyway, moving past that.
Yeah, you, you got that denture off.
You got, you got no. The best gum job you'll ever get
I. Shouldn't be laughing at this I
feel like but it's so funny. Let's get it, Granny.
I wonder when, when, when the fucking stops.
Like what age, what? How old do you think you'll be
when you're like, I don't want to have sex anymore?
I don't know. I don't know, isn't that a
horrifying thought? So, Dominic, what's keeping you
up tonight? What's keeping me up is people
need to chill with the quote UN quote fake bisexual accusations.
There's no fake bisexuals. There's no fake bisexuals.
There's no fake bisexuals if someone's willing to come out
and say I am bisexual. Especially men.
Like if a guy says that he sucks penis, I cannot believe that
that's a straight man trying to get like social points or
whatever. I don't know what the point of
pretending to be bisexual would be.
OK, but I feel like the accusations usually for women.
But I also feel like most women deep down are bisexual.
True. Well, deep down like OK, as a
bisexual man, I do feel like everyone is a little bisexual.
At least, like everyone, the. Most bro Y guys.
Especially the most bro Y guys. Frat guys have the nicest closet
that they live in. Honestly, yes, yes.
Oh my God, the other day I was like in Tokyo.
I don't know why this reminds me of that, but I was in Tokyo and
there's like 2 American. Well, I think they're European.
They're just dancing on each other and my friend first
thought one of them is cute and she's confused if they're gay.
Yes, and like I actually know they're friends so I asked my
friend if they're gay and my friend said they're not gay,
they're just you'll like to dance on each other.
You'll see the gays behavior from like bro Y frat guys.
Like look at the nature of a frat house.
It's one house with just a whole bunch of dudes living in it
constantly with the main goal to just party with each other all
the time. That's that's pretty gay.
That also sounds like most houses that fire like that is
the same vibe. They're all fit and they're
always shirtless like. Exactly.
You don't know what they're doing in the houses.
Hello. I don't know.
It sounds like Barbie's dream house.
That's just a bunch of Ken's. Yeah, just a bunch.
Of boatload of Ken's just partying and taking their shirts
off. Yeah, yeah.
Have you seen Barbie? Yes, of course.
I don't think they're doing Mojo Dojo Casa House.
No, Mojo Dojo Casa House is actually a queer coated house.
They are in there. Welcome to the Mojo Dojo after
dark like they are. Ken's fucking yeah, Ken's
fucking Ken. All the Kens are fucking.
Probably I could. See, they don't have genitals.
That is true. They're just bumping and
grinding. Then they're just bumping and
grinding. Exactly like how real world men
act. Yes, yes.
Yes. Right.
Yes. Wait, how's I didn't?
How's your bisexual bisexuality going?
We. Got there.
How's it going? Yeah, it's OK.
It's fine. I've always known that I was
bisexual. Well, that's not.
True. How do you know?
I just I love penis No when I was a.
Teenager if you're gay, if you love penis.
Well, I that is gay I I've come out as both gay and bisexual,
but I'll never claim straight because that's the most boring
pornhub category. But I claim gay because that's
the thing about being bisexual. If I come out as bisexual to
anyone, what I'm informing you is that I like men.
The other half liking women was already assumed because we live
in a heteronormative world. So it's like, yeah, especially
as as by as bisexual men. That's why there's no there are
no fake bisexuals because like to come out as bisexual as a
straight man is telling people that you're into men.
And a straight guy would just not do that.
OK, I'm I'm getting, I'm I'm getting it.
Yeah, and now even if it's a woman, if she's coming out as
bisexual, she's at least doing better than the ones that are
actually closeted straight, closeted bisexual.
Exactly. Maybe we'll have closeted
straights one day. Yeah, I feel like we're getting
there. We are getting there, post Glee.
I feel like people. I feel like people be straight
and hiding it. Post Glee.
I love that. I love how we like how you
define time. Post and pre Glee.
Yes, we have AG and BG and.
HEAVG. Post Glee is a different era.
Post Glee is we're getting rid of the word metrosexual and I'm
very happy about that. Wait, tell me more, what's
metrosexual? I've never heard.
Metrosexual old now. Now I'm worried I'm going to
mess it up. Metrosexual as I understand it,
is it's straight people, like straight men who behave gay.
Essentially. It's straight guys that actually
like take showers. That's all it is and.
Straight guys like who like to take showers.
Who take care of themselves, who shave and get haircuts and use
like proper deodorants and like they know how to walk and and
breathe. I I'm thinking of some names in
my head that I know, the street men, they're like that.
They're just like serving but like.
Yeah, they're a little like, yeah, yeah, they live in Hell's
Kitchen. They would.
Yes, yes, I'm talking about you. I know, I know.
But those that the term doesn't make sense because to say
metrosexual implies that it's a sexuality and your sexuality is
straight in that instance. So like it's not a just call
someone metrosexual. It's not a sexuality.
You're just straight but like you clean yourself.
Yeah, I see what you mean. Does it also apply to women?
I've never heard of a metrosexual woman.
I'm sure that this is where I'm going to sound ignorant.
I'm sure there is such thing as a metrosexual.
Who acts? Who acts lesbian?
But is actually straight OK I've I've seen people on TikTok
saying that Why is New York girl fashion is all like lesbian?
Like every straight girl in New York looks lesbian.
I think metrosexual might come back with this.
Like. Like lesbian acting straight
women. I've never thought about that,
but it's so true. I yeah, I feel like sometimes
it's confusing because you don't know if they're like if you try
to hit on them, they're not not actually right.
Like I'm seeing a lot of hiking boots and denim jackets these
days. Yes, like leather jackets or
like a mullet cut. Yes, mullets.
Bangs. Yeah, bangs aren't inherently
lesbian. But like a little like, you
know, like small tattoos on their arms.
Yes, I don't know, small tattoo on.
The wait, what is? It it's a it's, I can't, it's on
the back. I don't know if I can actually
like show it off, but I look like I'm showing off my traps
right now here. This is the hell yeah.
That's the three-part of the. It's it's a lowercase.
It's a lowercase AI, don't know if.
You. I can't even see it at all.
You're lying. I'll show no, I'll show it off
after the podcast. Yeah, by the way, Nice, nice
pajamas. Very much.
Thank you in character. Oh my gosh, I thought it was
very on brand for the pod. Yes, very much.
Thank you. You're blending in.
Oh no, I'm not gonna. It's just gonna be a floating
head on a bed. Yes.
Cuz cuz this blends right in I. Should have gotten blue, like
what a man would wear, yeah. Or black.
Or black, black, black. Like my soul.
I do need to apologize. I've listened to every podcast.
Yeah, every episode so far. Big big fan.
Thank you. OK, everybody do that.
Everyone do that. Yeah, if you want to be on the
podcast, become a fan of the podcast.
Exactly. Also like listen to every one of
them like if you have. Twice.
Yeah, if you missed any anything or haven't listened to anything
twice, go back. And then share the podcast with
friends, family, share the podcast with your OPS, share the
podcast with your exes, everyone you've ever met, the doctor that
birthed you, share the podcast with them.
Exactly. If they're alive, make sure they
hit the follow button because the follow is very important,
sometimes more important than actual listen.
So please what? Were we talking?
About you were talking about your tattoo and you're so sorry
I got. I know this is the always the
thing I. You're saying that you listen to
all the podcasts and you're. Yes.
You're wearing the. Yes.
No, I wanted to, I wanted to apologize because I've listened
to every episode and I think at this point I'm I am the closest
thing you've had to a straight man on the podcast.
Yes, I feel like I'm sullying the bed by being here.
Yeah, a little bit a. Little bit, no, we're crossing
thresholds. Yeah, it's OK.
It's OK. We're closing Season 1.
We're closing it strong. We're we're being inclusive,
inclusive of something that's the closest to a streetman but
not there yet. Like I said, I'll never claim
straight yes so. You're not, so it's OK.
It's like I got my foot in the door.
You did. It's like I am the first.
If I'm correct, I'm the first man on the podcast who has slept
with women. Is that wrong?
I think Harkness has slept with men.
Beat me to it. Yeah, if you.
Don't remember, Harkness was the one that claim to be closeted
heterosexual. Yes, yes.
OK. Yeah.
Beat you to it. I'll do.
I'll do you one better. I'm the first man.
I think I'm the first man you've had on the podcast who slept
with lesbians. You did.
Yeah, well, I guess. I wasn't that possible.
I guess they weren't lesbians. They slept with me.
No, it's very, this is like, I don't, I don't know if I should
feel proud about this, but I have like a really good record
of flipping lesbians. But you're but you're but you're
but. I don't know what the butt is I
guess. Well, cuz they're lesbians.
I don't even know what question. To ask they don't like men.
I don't think I really I think I qualify as like a really solid
sex toy for them cuz we I never dated a lesbian.
That's good that you're. I was.
I was adequate. I I wasn't, we weren't going out
for brunch the next day. It was, it was, it was that
night. They were satisfied.
And it's like, take care. Goodbye.
Aw, they're the one that they had fun.
They had fun. They're the one you're not like
asking them to call you back the next day.
Not always, no. I'm still a man.
I can still be like, hey, so like, what are you doing?
Yeah, that was so much fun. I don't know, I haven't hooked
up with the lesbian. I was calling my lesbian friend
and she was telling me that I should do it and she like
offered it but. You know it exists, then the
offer's on the table. The offer's on the table you.
Can just you can come back to. It I don't know.
I don't know if I want to, if I even if I want to have sex with
a lesbian woman. I don't know if I should start
with my friend because then what if it's not good and we lose the
friendship? No, I don't think you will.
I don't. I mean it varies person to
person, but like I have, I've hooked up with friends before
and we are still friends. We talk all the time.
Even if the sex is bad. Like what if it's bad?
So one of the times it wasn't good.
OK, OK. And we we're still friends.
I like that as the theory though.
Like what if hooking up ruins the relationship?
That's not the question. It's what if we hook up and it
just sucks and. Yes.
I think that's better cuz then as as friends later you can talk
about it cuz I think that's that's the most vulnerable thing
you can do with a friend is talk about bad sex that you just had.
Exactly. And and you can talk about it
with each other. Yes.
OK, I know she listened to all of my podcasts too, so maybe
I'll visit. I feel like this conversation is
getting you closer like. There's one time, it's very
funny. I don't remember.
I've talked about it on the podcast.
There's one time, I think it's our birthday, like our birthday
is really close. We went to college together, and
for our birthday, we went to a strip club that's in the area.
And I, we were, I bought her a lap dance for a birthday
present. Hell yeah.
Of course it's all women. Yeah.
And I remember we got into the front row of the strip club, and
we were very drunk. We were just making out.
I was making out with my friend while a stripper is dancing.
And a guy came over, gave us $20 and left.
OK, I wouldn't say $20.00 is a flex, but it's not nothing.
Right, so. He didn't ask for anything.
No, he's, he's just like. A job like or something?
I saw you kissing and that was cool.
That was very cool. Here's a tip.
Exactly and. That's crazy.
Yeah, I. What's?
I shouldn't ask what strip club that was?
You said it was in college. A capital cabaret?
Can I say that? Yeah, promoting.
Capital Cabaret. Oh my God, I'll have.
To check it out. I've never been to a strip club.
What? I've never been to a strip club.
There was one, I'll say this name because they don't exist
anymore. I'm, I'm from Colorado and there
was one in Boulder for decades called the Bus Stop, which is
kind of a very sleazy name for a strip club, but it was, it was
like pretty nice and and they closed and they're not around
anymore. But in my head for the longest
time, I'm like, yeah, when I get older, 1819, I'll go to that
strip club. And then they closed and it's
very sad. No, wait this Some man drown,
some man died of drowning, some man died.
Of at a strip club. No.
Drowned in pussy. No, because you have, you have
strip clubs so accessible to you, but you've never been.
But I didn't, I never. I went to a strip club.
There's no strip clubs in China. So that's like the first thing
that I want to do when I came here.
Anywhere in like, No. Hong Kong, Shanghai No.
Not Shanghai. I feel like they're, well, you
tell me if I'm wrong. Shanghai's a little more like
progressive than the rest of China, no?
Yeah, but it's not. It's not club progressive.
No, damn, still like party, party controlled.
Damn, not that kind of party. Not a fun party.
There is Hong Kong is a little
separated though. There must be strip clubs in
Hong Kong. I haven't been to Hong Kong, but
I I doubt it, honestly, in Asia, I doubt it.
There's gonna be as at scale as America.
So I went to a strip club. OK, my first first time I went
to a strip club. Sorry.
I went with a couple. Oh my God, it's still that
Raleigh Durham Capital Cabaret strip club.
That's my, that's honestly the best strip club I've been like I
went to. One How many strip clubs have
you been to? I've been to.
Is it like a belly eats? List of strip clubs?
Maybe I've been to one in Miami. Oh, that had to be nice, no?
No, Oh my God, they're so tall. The strippers.
Yes. I mean, it's good that they're
tall and they're very strong. We love a strong woman.
They're very strong, but they're so tall.
Did you enter a strip club or a gym and.
It was all full nudity. You can see all the you know.
So no. So no drinks.
Yes, drinks. What?
I don't know. That used to be, that was the,
well, I'm going to show my age a little bit.
That was the law back in the day, is that if it's full
nudity, they can't serve drinks, but if they're serving drinks,
then it's just topless. Maybe that's a very old thing.
Maybe that's not how it is anymore.
Maybe, I don't know, I have no idea.
Well, this is coming from a guy that's never been so.
I also feel like Miami's just crazy.
Yeah, I I thought that too, but I thought it was mid and Capital
Cabaret, especially no Jasmine from Capital Cabaret.
Oh my gosh, we're calling their names out.
Well, that's probably not her name.
But yeah, it's probably not. But it's, it's, it's you still
have a place in my heart. Jasmine from Capital Cabaret.
Yes. Get on the podcast.
What are you doing? Yeah, please, if anyone here
knows the contact of Jasmine from Capital Cabaret I I wasn't
sure if she's Mexican or Asian, I still don't know, but she when
I heard, when I. An ethnically ambiguous
stripper. Exactly, but she came in.
That's the dream. The stage and black pink was
playing. It was a black pink in your
area. And then she came in.
She nailed the pole dancing. She was like doing the clicks
with her heels. It's yeah, very good.
Still has a place in my heart. I still think about it sometimes
when I wake up from a dream. Anyway, we have very hot like
we, we bought a lap dance from Jasmine and Jasmine just went
off. Like I feel like Jasmine
shouldn't be doing that, but Jasmine just was so into it.
She just liked us so much. I think Jasmine should be doing
that. That's awesome.
I remember I was making out with Jasmine which.
I that's what I was going to ask next because you said we were
making out and I was like you and your friend.
Are you in the stripper or all three?
All four. All four.
Who's the 4th? The 4th stripper.
No, it was like 2 friends. You 2 friends and Jasmine?
Yes, Oh my God. I know I.
Got to get to a strip. I don't know.
I got to get to Capital Cabaret in Raleigh.
I don't know. I it never happened again.
I couldn't get Jasmine again. And I don't know if you can
replicate that experience or I don't even, I don't even know if
I can replicate that experience. Sometimes the best experiences
are meant to be that, right? It gets to be a memory that you
have forever now. Exactly.
It's yeah, it's better if it's in memory.
Yeah, sorry that I'm over sharing.
I would love you to over share more, I'm enjoying this.
I want to hear more about you, so yes.
Yeah, about what? What was your take again?
No, there's. No, there's no fake bisexuals,
no fake bisexuals. No, there's fake metrosexuals
and there's fake straights. I oh, that's just called
closeted. But no, if someone comes out as
bisexual, I think that the accusation comes from if you've
never, like if you're a woman and you say you're bisexual, but
you've never been with another woman, people try to gatekeep
that and say, well, that doesn't count then.
And it's like, no, bisexuality is a, a sexuality.
There's there's straight virgins.
That doesn't mean they're gay or celibate or like, you know what
I mean? Like if you haven't had sex with
the people that you want to have sex with, that doesn't mean
you're not bisexual. That just means you're striking
out. But.
That's a good point. Yeah, there are straight
virgins. Yeah, and no one would be like,
well, you're not straight, you haven't had sex.
Yeah, they don't get fake straight accusations.
No, yeah. It's always celebrities getting
hit with the fake bisexual claims too.
Celebrities. Like Billy Eilish or Harry
Styles and I. Thought they claimed they.
They are bisexual. Yeah, they've both said that.
But they're like, you've never dated the same sex.
And it's like, who said anything about dating?
I've only ever dated one guy I've hooked up with.
Like, I don't know if I should say the number on the podcast.
I've hooked up with a lot of guys.
OK. I've only ever dated one guy.
Yeah, but it doesn't. It's.
Not about dating. Yeah, Harry Styles could be
blowing a guy right now. You never know.
And that's the thing.
When you're that rich and famous and you have that many women on
you constantly, why would you willingly say that you like men
when you don't? Right.
There's a guy that makes no. Sense I thought you were going
to say when you're that famous and rich you would have, why
would you just admit yourself to getting blowjobs from women?
No for a straight guy would admit that probably just be like
I get blowjobs all the time bro like.
Do you OK from your experience been with both men and women,
How is it different for you or is there a difference for you?
It's there is. It's men, no offense.
Gay guys. Men are easier.
Even for gay guys. Yeah, well, there's a huge
hookup culture for gay guys and a lot of people frown upon it,
and I get why. But like, if I if I put in the
effort and I really tried, especially in New York City, I'm
certain that I could have sex with a different guy every
single night. Wow.
I'm certain of it. And I with women, I know that
culture exists as well. Like, I know, I know straight
people be hooking up like crazy, but it's it would the guarantee
wouldn't be there. You know, like, I'd go to bars
and clubs and flirt with women. And I've had a lot of women
flirt with me when I'm not like trying to do anything.
But with guys, you just gotta like throw, throw them a look
and it's like guaranteed. Oh, we're gonna be fucking
later, OK? Wait, then how do you OK?
So as a bisexual, how do you OK? I think sometimes it's hard for
me at least to get action from women.
Really. I feel like lesbians are horny
too. Well, everyone is horny.
Everyone's horny, everyone's really horny.
Even your grandparents are horny.
Think about that right now. They're dead.
Oh. It's OK, It's OK.
I've never met them so it's OK. Me too.
I'm sorry. No.
So we get that privilege of not thinking about that.
But if your grandparents are alive right now, think about
them. OK.
Anyway, moving past that. Yeah, you, you got that denture
off. You got, you got no.
The best gum job you'll ever get I.
Shouldn't be laughing at this I feel like but it's so funny.
Let's get it, Granny. I wonder when, when, when the
fucking stops. Like what age, what?
How old do you think you'll be when you're like, I don't want
to have sex anymore? I don't know.
I don't know, isn't that a horrifying thought?
My dad has a story about about his dad, my grandpa who I never
met, where like somehow just in conversation like they were
talking about sex and like my dad said something about sex
and, and my my grandpa, his dad like looked at him and he was
like, I can't do that anymore. And my dad was like, what do you
mean? Like it didn't occur to him.
Like at one point with age, like your, your Dick's just not going
to work anymore. Only it just stops working.
So it's not because you don't want to have sexes.
You can't. Yeah.
And it's not like, well, I suppose testosterone's involved,
but that's why there's all those like really corny ads for like,
T boosters and testosterone that you can get that'll help you
keep it up. It's because when you reach a
certain age, like it just doesn't, your body's not
supposed to reproduce anymore, you know, in the wilderness.
In the wilderness, you don't even get to live that long.
No male Male lions leave the herd when they're no longer
capable and they find a quiet place to go die alone.
Wow. Yeah, they left that part out of
The Lion King because it was very sad, but.
So when in in lion society, when a male lion cannot fuck anymore,
they just. Yeah, when they're incapable
because that is a sign of other things too.
All of evolution revolves around reproduction.
Like we people think of like we evolved so we can be smarter
faster and like no, our bodies ourselves in the long term are
trying to evolve us to fuck better because we want to make
more of us so they can go on and fuck better.
And it's like an endless cycle of evolving and.
And sex but yes so lions if if they can't reproduce anymore
that kind of coincides with everything else they're no
longer capable of like protecting the herd.
But there was do you know the hold on do you this is a crazy
fact I know do you know the movie Ghosts in the darkness?
It's from the 80s nineties. It has Michael Douglas, but it's
a true story about these two lions that were considered like
super lions or Uber dangerous or something because they were
picking off people from this railroad camp, but they were
hunting in ways that lions have never haunted before.
So I don't know how this ties into this podcast at all, but
but these lions were like sneaking into tents late at
night and they were like taking people while they were asleep
and quietly dragging them away to secluded areas and killing
them and eating them there. And so they hired these hunters
to get these lions. And they were like, these lions
aren't acting like normal lions. They're hunting in very bizarre
ways. And when they found the lions,
finally, they were able to hunt them down and kill them.
But these lions were huge. They were massive.
And they thought they were like prehistoric lions or some kind
of super lion. They were bigger than any other
lion, and they have these black manes, like deep black manes,
and their skeletons are on display at the Smithsonian right
now. But what we've concluded years
later is that these were two male lions who reached that age,
and they were kicked out of their herd.
And so they went off into the wilderness.
But instead of deciding to just go off and die, they were like,
we didn't want to die. And so they started hunting
together, and they haunted in ways that could accommodate
their, like, frail, brittle bodies because they were so old.
That's why they were being sneaky.
People thought they were like phantoms, but they were just
old. And my conclusion that I've came
to is that they were gay. Those were gay lions.
Gay Lions. They got kicked out by the
females. They found each each other.
Wow. They were the Grace and Frankie
of the lion community. They were two old gays that
finally realized they were gay and lived their life.
And they were huge because lions have no genes that make them
shrink when they get old like old people like people shrink
when they get old. But lions just keep growing.
If lions live to be 100, they would grow the size of this.
Room or something? Really.
Yeah. Yeah, they just keep getting
bigger. Wow.
Yeah, crazy. That's beautiful.
I hope that was a good story for them.
That is a very good story. We're lions.
Look it up. The lions that get old, too old
to be with women, they just found each other.
Yes, these were the lion Queens. The lion Queens the lion, but
they're gays. Yeah, they were Queens, though
maybe they were kings together. Gay kings.
Gay. What's another word?
Lying. I'm trying to find a punchline
for this. It's, it's like they, you know,
they finally got out of their lavender marriage.
Wait, do you know what a group of lions is called?
What is? They got kicked out of their
pride, but they found their own pride we got.
There exactly. Wow, I.
Hope this comes out in June. That would be amazing.
It'll probably, I hope it'll be out before that.
That's yeah, it'll be, that's like 2 1/2 months away.
Yeah, it probably will be. If you're watching this in June,
happy pride. Happy pride, if not still happy.
Pride. Happy shame I don't.
Know this, this podcast is very much pride.
Yeah, not yeah. I feel like it's queer coded or
it's very fem coated. It's not queer coded, but it
could be. It could be.
It could. Be Passover is big.
Yeah, whenever I decide to actually have sex with a woman.
It will be in this bed on the podcast.
On the podcast, yes, and we're we're going to have a debrief
after after it that. Will be the podcast we'll be
like you'll both be. Laying here and your.
Hair will be all messed up. I don't know, they'll just be
like I, I would love that for someone else, someone else's
podcast. I don't know if I want to do
that for my podcast because I would love to see that as a
premise, but I don't know if I'm open enough to share that pub
that would be. If it's a different guest every,
every podcast, that would be a crazy premise.
Yeah, we just had sex. Here's the podcast.
Like you'll be 100 episodes in and being like, Oh my God, these
are Bonnie Blue numbers. Like that's crazy having sex
with every single guest. Yeah, wait, you're giving me
ideas. No, I don't know.
That's a fun idea. I don't know if it's a good
idea. Or at least like you can.
I mean, it's a show. You can pretend that that was a
premise you don't have to like. You can write your mind.
It doesn't have to be you actually fucked.
Yeah, and then like the whole podcast could still be sexually
driven, but you open it saying something like, we just had sex
and and then you're like. Yeah.
Do you think Do you think Joe Rogan has sex with all of his
guests? 100%.
That's got to be some gross sex. Yeah, I don't know.
I I don't know, I don't think Joe Rogan goes down on women.
No, he just hates them. Yeah.
Do you have a favorite podcast? It's not Joe Rogan.
There's no way. I actually haven't really
listened to Joe Rogan. I wouldn't.
You don't recommend it? Nah, not anymore.
Yeah, I like it was. More fun when he said the N
word. He did.
I'm joking, but yes, he did he. Actually did.
Yeah, like on his, I think the one that people clipped that he
got in trouble for years later was when he thought it would be
cool to say the N word during an ad read, which is I think you
also need to go after the company that decided that was OK
and they should keep like advertising for.
Him right? But yeah.
That was wow, that's crazy how a.
Lot of white comedians think it's OK to say the N word.
Not so much nowadays, but rewinds of the early 2000s it
was. Yeah, I feel like I, I even see
clips. I feel like it's like white
white male comics get away with so many things they like.
Just think about how Joe Rogan can still be so big after he
said the N word. Yeah, he's I believe, don't
quote me on this. I believe it's still the most
listened to podcast. Yeah.
Or most streamed or whatever. Yeah, he's probably still most
paid. There was, Oh yeah, probably.
Well, he also has the tenure. He's just been doing it for for
a very long time. Like to to climb like call her
Daddy's a big podcast and they were I think they overtook Joe
Rogan briefly is number 1. I might be wrong.
I'm making up facts. I think they're like second to
Joe Rogan. But yeah, I don't know if you
like call her daddy isn't the same anymore now that.
The break up, Yeah, yeah. Those first 30 episodes are
like, yeah, should belong in in the annals of podcast history.
Exactly. It was it was a good time.
I was thinking about like that was one of the inspirations for
this podcast. I see the vibe.
This is better though because they weren't in bed.
Or maybe they were, I don't know.
I don't know. I can't prove that they weren't.
No. They were in bed this whole
time, they just had sex. Every episode, yeah.
That's why the. Breakup was so sad.
Yeah, it. Was a real breakup, right?
I think that's why The Beatles broke up.
I think Paul was fucking John. The Beatles was a polycule.
But I want to change my my my hot take.
The Beatles were a polycule. That's one of the funniest
things I've ever heard. I like that claim a lot.
It makes sense though because then they introduce Yoko and she
ruins the polycule because she ruins the vibe.
She wasn't ruining the music, she was ruining the sex.
Exactly. That's why people are not,
they're not sticking together anymore.
The it's because of the. The sex is being ruined.
And the yeah, the connection. The connection's lost.
The sexual vibe is gone. Wow, this is making it to the
clips. I was thinking about heck yes,
clip that right now. I think, clip that right now.
I was thinking about the having sex with every guest and I
thought of call her daddy and I was like, wasn't Michelle Obama
on there? I mean, I'd smash, but well, I
think she's taken. Yeah, she is.
Yeah, you can't. Yeah, if you are only having, if
you're having sex with every guest, you you can only have
like open or single guest. Yeah, that really limits you.
Open single, but also like willing.
Yeah. Like Can you imagine if you
reached out to someone and you're like, are you single?
They're like, yeah, you're like, you're like having sex.
Oh, I love having sex. I love being on podcast too.
Great. Here's what I'm doing.
And then they go no thanks. Yeah, just not at the same time,
probably. Not you.
I'd be like. Oh, oh, it'll be a me thing.
It's not because they don't. Like it, you know, they love
sex, they love podcasts, they're available, they're single, and
then they go, no thanks. No.
Well. Heartbroken.
I feel like there's people, there's definitely people who
are like hooking up with people just because they have a
successful podcast. Isn't that why there's so many
podcasts? People are just trying to get
laid. Yeah, I think that's the reason
there's successful anything. But why is there so many?
Like I feel like podcasts like almost stereotypical and like
made fun of. It's like funny that you have a
podcast. Yes, yes and no.
It all depends on the podcast itself because some people take
like a unique spin with a podcast and like when you listen
to it, it's not a traditional like interaction.
It's not just dialogue. It's people doing, I don't know,
like variety things or like cooking even that would be cool
to like record yourself cooking and like rap and edit and think
this will get me laid maybe. I do feel like, OK, I do feel
like podcasting is not getting me laid.
No. No.
You have people reaching out though, no?
No, but there are women who want to be on pocket.
Well, it doesn't mean that I can't hook up with them.
True, but. That would be your SO you've
never hooked up with a woman? No, I haven't.
Yeah, that would be, I feel like intrusive to that experience if
the reason it's happening is the podcast.
Right. Or you wouldn't feel natural.
Like you want to hook up with me?
That's why you apply to be on my podcast.
It'd be like hooking up with a groupie.
What do you mean? Like groupies, like they just
hang around the talents just because they want to be around
them. They don't like recognize them
as like like a human with a soul and.
Desires. Wow.
They're like, I just want to hit that.
Wow, when can I be a talent like that?
I think you are. Thank you.
It's like, it's like, like, I don't even know Harry Styles,
but I would hook up with him. I've met him.
Oh, really? Yeah.
How is he he? He's not that attractive, I
don't think so He's tall if you like tall, he's probably like 2
inches taller than me. He's he's very dishevelled.
I mean, like anyone can be dishevelled or like clean the
next day. But like he was just he looked,
he was dressed kind of homeless. I think it was a fashion thing.
Like sometimes people like, yeah, I'm sure he was wearing
like 10 grand worth of clothing, but.
It looks hobo. Yeah, though I saw Jake
Gyllenhaal once, too, and it was the same thing.
He had like, a very patchy beard.
His hair was a mess, and he was wearing like, this green, like,
ratty jacket. And my first thought was like,
come to bed with me right now. See.
Like the masculinity beaming off of him.
I was just like, like I could feel his chest like just by
looking at it like. Wow, so.
Jake Gyllenhaal's hot. They don't even have to look.
They don't even have to like put to be put.
Together. No, you were talking about that
about like you need a great personality, but you need to put
yourself together a little bit. Yes, we're talking about.
If you're Jake Gyllenhaal hot, you don't need to put yourself
together. You could just, you could look
like a bum. It's a hot man.
I like Timothy Chalamet. I've been getting into Timothy
Chalamet. It's a learned.
It's a learned desire. You're going to sound like I'm
lying right now. I've also met him.
What? Yes.
How? Why?
Where'd you meet these people? These were all at work and I'm
not going to say where I really don't feel like I should, but
he's you can keep you can keep your dream.
I won't ruin your and I do think on camera he's very attractive
and in person I was like. OK, OK, but.
Call me by your name was pretty hot.
Jake Gyllenhaal, we can still like.
Jake Gyllenhaal's so hot. I've met so many incredibly
attractive people. Like like famous like.
Incredibly attractive people, but I feel like yeah because
they're famous even if they're not attractive.
If I get a chance with an unattractive.
Who's an unattractive famous person that you want to smash?
I. Don't know.
Smash is the straightest word for fucking I think in my head.
And smash. Smash any any celebrity.
Or maybe more. Willem Dafoe.
Well, hear me out. Willem Dafoe's a great Hear me
out. He is actually pretty
attractive. It's his confidence, yes, 'cause
he's He's short, he's old, he's wrinkled, his hair's thinning,
he's got a huge gap between his teeth.
But when he walks into a room, it's like.
Yeah, it feels like he has class.
Yes, he has a lot of class. Like even in that video there's
people, have you seen that video where they're like telling him
to show off his fit because they're just like, I wouldn't
say they're messing with him, but they're like, oh, fit check,
fit, check. And he just goes about it so
humbly. And he's just like, oh, well, I
got these shoes here and I got my pants from this store, those
jackets. And he's just like, he's so
chill with it. And you're like, yeah, this
guy's cool. Right, I'll fuck him.
Is there someone? What about the reverse?
Is there a celebrity who's regarded as very sexy who you
wouldn't? I wouldn't fuck Yeah I.
Feel like that's an easier list because there's a lot of people
that are viewed as sexy that are just.
I don't know, I probably wouldn't fuck Matt Rife.
No, no, Someone's personality can make them very unsexy.
Right. Like in me, I hooked up with a
guy once and he was very very traditionally hot.
He had like 6 pack. He had that.
Like do you do you know the deep V cut at the bottom of the ABS?
Yes, he had that going on. Oh, in Chinese they're called
mermit lie. Mermit lie.
Mermit Lines. Mermit lines.
What is mermit? Mermaid.
Oh, mermaid. Yeah.
I thought you were speaking
Chinese. Sorry.
I was like, I just learned a new Mandarin phrase.
No, I think they're called cum gutters as well.
Cum Cutter. I like mermaid lines better.
Me too. But he he was very hot.
And at one point I asked him, we were talking about music and
he's like, I like rock'n'roll and I'm like, cool what?
Who's your favorite rock star? And he said Machine Gun Kelly
and he lost a lot of points. I didn't want to hook up with
him anymore. No.
Because of Because of Machine Gun Kelly, Yes.
Because Machine Gun Kelly #1 not a rock star #2 just like,
unattractive as a person. I don't remember.
I just remember he has a lot of tattoos.
I don't even remember. But the face, yeah.
Wasn't he dating Megan Fox? They're still together, yeah.
Oh damn, which? Is like, no matter how much
people make fun of him or hate on him, he's dating Megan Fox.
He can go home to that. And I'm sure anything, any
comment that he's read on the Internet just goes away.
Right. Yeah, true.
But he did start beef with Eminem, which is like so silly.
Didn't. He like cheat on Megan Fox.
Did he? I don't know.
I I remember Megan Fox being cheated on but I don't know with
who like who who. I mean, they are still together.
I don't think he did well. I mean, Beyoncé's still with
Jay-Z, so. Wait, don't let it's not get
Beyoncé's great. Oh, yeah.
Thank you, Beyoncé. Thank you for the podcast,
Beyoncé. Thank you.
Thank you, Beyoncé. Thank you, Jay-Z.
I I wish I'm I'm not rich enough
to be affected by that yet. We.
Can watch them like you're gonna get like a podcasting award one
day and they're gonna like file through, they're gonna find this
episode and they'll be like, that was kind of questionable.
We don't know. Maybe you don't get this award.
I don't know. It's it's OK.
I'm already, I'm already winning.
It's OK. Yeah.
I still, I still like Beyoncé no matter what.
She's so attractive. Yeah, I was listening to her on
the way here. What's your favorite album?
I don't know the names of the album honestly.
That's that's OK. I like lemonade, but.
I was. So yes, I like lemonade.
When Lemonade hit, that was such a that like that year was great
because of that, it was a. Cultural moment, I loved it.
Lemonade, I didn't know, like, there.
There's a part of me in my like, teen years that I didn't know
Beyoncé was black. What did you think she was?
I I, I didn't know, like, I didn't think.
You don't see a race like. That no, I don't see a race like
that. She.
Wasn't black. She's just an icon, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, she's just Beyoncé. She's Beyoncé.
When one name is your whole name, you know you've made it.
Cher. Beyoncé.
Zendaya. Zendaya, Oprah, a lot of black
women. Wow, Zendaya is so hot, right?
That's a Zendaya. Tom Holland is a big bisexual
fantasy of mine. Bisexual fantasy.
What do you? Mean like when it's like by
awaken, not a by awakening. That's not right.
But like when the guy and the girl together are like
incredibly attractive, it's like a bisexual dream.
Why? It's because they're both so hot
and I would like to be with both of them.
Like Challengers was so hot. That was such a sexy.
Movie. It's so hot.
It was, that was a very bisexual movie because it was a very, it
was a very gay movie. It was a gay movie disguised as
a straight movie because they it's Zendaya.
But ultimately it's about these two guys.
But they were so hot. And then Zendaya's hot and like,
is it bisexual? I was like, I think I like
tennis now. I didn't like tennis before, but
this is changing my mind. I know and I would.
Yeah, I would fuck Zendaya like 100% like I would.
Yeah, please sign. Me up and Tom Holland is hot
too. He's a big time golfer and I
don't know if something, if the future ever happened where he
came out as BI, I would get into golf so hard.
I would become great at golf just to get on his radar.
Wow, maybe he already is you, he just can't disclose it because.
Maybe. Well, here's the thing.
If if you're bisexual but you're married to Zendaya, I think
you're OK never coming out. I think he'll be satisfied and
happy for the rest of his life. Yeah, I don't need another
person, just need Zendaya. Exactly.
Yeah, I agree. I saw a post once about the
bisexual dream and it was, it was like promo for one of the
Thor movies and it was Chris Hemsworth and oh Kate Blanchett
and someone called that a bisexual dream and it was a
bisexual man. I was like what are you talking
about? I don't.
I don't find either of them super hot to be honest.
I feel like Kate. What is it?
Kate Blanchett? Yeah, she has a very mommy vibe.
Yeah, she does. Maybe a bisexual dream for a
woman for me. Yeah, yeah, Chris Hemsworth.
Yeah, yeah. Chris, Yeah, the Chris's are
hot. What?
Which other Chris? You have Chris Hemsworth, Chris
Pine. I like Chris Pine, Chris,
Captain America, Chris. Chris.
Evans. Chris Evans and then Chris.
Oh, and he's. Chris Pratt.
Chris Pratt loves Chris. I don't like Chris Pratt, even
at his bulkiest. I don't know.
I feel like they're very, they're too mainstream for me.
You need some C list celebrities.
Those are the hot ones, yeah. Because I feel like I I have a
chance. Yes.
Who's some C list celebrities? I feel like if I name someone as
AC list celebrity, I'll get cancelled because it it turns
out they're super big. Yeah.
And I just don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah. Yeah, it's OK.
I think we're that's about time for our podcast.
Our timer has stopped. I'd love to talk more about
like, Celebrity Crush with you. I'll get.
I'll make a list for you, yeah. Yeah.
We're gonna we're gonna hook up with celebrities.
I see that in our future. I think that 2026 goal your
first lesbian experience, Zendaya.
Zendaya, let's make it happen.
Zendaya get on the part. We're going, yeah, we're going
for the best, actually. My psychic or my No, not
psychic, because psychic doesn't sound that legit.
My astrologist told me that this year my career is gonna be very
good, so I think that means I'm gonna hook up with Zetea.
Yes, I believe it. Thank you.
OK. Well, anything else before you
wrap up? Not that I can think of.
If you have a list of celebrity crushes that Rachel needs to
hook up with, send them her way. Yes.
Especially if they're women. Especially yeah, Kate.
Blanchett, get on the podcast. Kate Blanchett.
Who else? I would do Adele.
Adele. Yeah, she's hot.
That's very hot. Yeah.
Oh my God. You always have a lot of comics
on the podcast. Sienna, Hubert Ross, get on the
podcast. Yes.
Please have sex with Rachel. I feel like Sienna is already
like she's bisexual. She's bisexual.
She does a lot of very sexual bisexual content.
Like I think I've, I'm kind of into it and.
I think I've seen those videos like hundreds of times, over and
over again. Yeah, on repeat.
Yeah, like she's like sitting on the lap of a girl.
Yeah. What are you?
Doing, I think I've heard of that video.
I think, yeah, one time I maybe saw that, yeah.
I don't know, I feel like you're, you're seducing me,
Sienna. I'll be reaching out.
Get on it. Yeah, OK.
Well, thank you so much. Thank you, Rachel.
Yeah, happy to be here. Yeah, I'm happy to have you.