He was like, oh, or you're a comedian.
Do you do a lot of raunchy stuff?
But like, no one says that to guys.
No one's like, oh, do you just talk about sex, 'cause you're a
male comic? And they do talk about sex way
more than us. I never thought about it that
way it. Pisses me.
Off I've also been told by guys that I shouldn't just do like
sexual materials and I like they're like oh you're so funny.
You shouldn't just sell yourself short.
You can come up with so much funnier stuff without talking
about sex. I was told that by a female
teacher, yeah. I don't know, how do you feel
about like because they're telling us that I'm like
thinking maybe I should. It doesn't fucking.
Matter. It's like at the end of the day,
like as long as you're making people laugh, who cares?
And it pisses me off because it's like I want to just like
normalize that this is what I mean.
Like we're fucked either way. Like whether you like, whether
you dress up, whether you dress down, whether you have sex,
whether you don't have sex, it's like you are going to be judged.
Like we're always judged or like criticized.
Like no matter what we do, it's like we can't win.
So. I don't know, I, I think what
that's what I was telling you. Like I want to do more clean
material just to like challenge myself.
And I know that I can. And also it opens up
opportunities. It's just the reality of the
world. But I also don't want to have to
feel bad about talking about a perfectly normal part of my life
and just 'cause you know, I have sex.
Like people are going to judge me like what?
Or like see me as a a lesser person Like but people don't put
those standards on on men, no. Piali, what's keeping you up
tonight? OK ChatGPT.
I feel like it takes so much effort to tell ChatGPT what to
do, I may as well do it myself. It's like a man.
Oh. I agree, yes.
Right. Yes, like everybody's like
talking about prompt engineering or like something like that.
Have you heard of that? No.
Like prompt. Like, people put so much effort
into writing the prompt. It's like you're telling your
boyfriend to wipe down the ketchup on the counter, but you
have to show them how to do. It and then you're you may as
well just do it yourself yes no so that's the thing I asked
ChatGPT for for dating advice, but then like it took a lot of
back story right 'cause I had to give ChatGPT all the details
'cause I couldn't just be like what should I say ChatGPT?
I was like, OK, so this is the situation.
This is the nature of our interaction.
Is he being passive aggressive given like all of the history?
Like what should I what should I do?
What should I Honestly the advice slapped like once I got
the advice but like it was so I had to write like a paragraph of
back story. OK, It sounds like it's been,
it's been more useful than a man.
Like I feel like it's doing better 'cause it's actually, you
said it's actually. Useful.
Yeah, I I would say, I mean I feel.
AI is better than a man. It's less complicated, Yeah.
I feel like, I don't know. I do feel like technology
outperforms men in general, like vibrators.
That's true and it's not even AI engineered.
Like vibrator's already so good and it's not even AI.
Yeah, that's, yeah, exactly. I'm like, I feel like technology
generally outperforms men where they fall short.
You know, like I, I don't usually ask men for, like I
don't ask men for dating advice. I know it's really bad.
Yeah, I don't know sometimes. You don't ever like, not even
like your gay friends or. Oh, OK.
Yeah, no, that's not true. Sometimes I will ask like a guy
friend, like what should I do in a dating situation?
Like from a guy's perspective, like what would you say?
What would you think? Yeah, that's OK.
That's that's true. No, I think they they have their
respective shortcomings and pros and cons.
Yeah. So Chachi BT is better than a
man in that sense. But.
OK. And probably in terms of like
emotional support. A Chachi PT does have really
good emotional support. Do you have like the
subscription? I don't actually.
I use the free version. Girl, you've been like typing
all the materials like I was. I was just thinking like, if
you're have the prepaid version, you can just talk to it, but now
you have to like, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.
So you so you don't have to type all the like back story about
your man and into Tachi BT. You can just like tell it.
Oh, it's like talking to a friend.
Yes. How much is it?
I think $20.00 a month. That's not bad.
And I think it also comes with like the like Sora you heard of.
That what's? What's that?
It's the like AI video generator.
Have you seen like online? There's like a bunch of like AII
don't know rage bait like crazy videos.
I see all like I see a lot of AI animal videos.
Yes, like for the longest time I was so my friends and I, I have
two friends who also have cats. We're all like cat parents.
So we have a group chat called like puss check and then so
we'll like send pictures of our cats and send like cat reels on
Instagram. And for a while we were all
getting like the weirdest AI cat videos where it's like.
Meow, meow, meow. Meow like it all has that
soundtrack and then it's always like the same weirdest storyline
of like there's a female cat and then.
You've. Seen these right and then she
like cheats on her husband and she with her trainer cat and she
gets like pregnant and then it all it's so crazy like.
And I saw that. And that's like a man must have
made this this. Is what I'm saying.
It's so it's like Loki. Not even Loki.
It's like openly misogynistic. Like all the comments are like
that. Cat's for the streets.
Yes, yes. And it's like always like the
the female cat is always like so like curvy with like boobs and
stuff. Oh my God, it's so weird.
I know. Yeah.
And then like the Jim Bro cat is usually like a black cat and
he's jacked, and then there's like a white girl cat.
And there's like. There's like a ginger husband
cat. And like the, the baby, like
sometimes there's like a scene of the baby and the baby's like,
like a black, like a black. Yes, and that's how they know
that it's not his. It's so crazy.
Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah.
And I, this reminds me of have you seen like, Oh my God, this
is first of all, this is such a smart episode.
We're talking about AI and technology.
Asians. It's because two of us.
It's unavoidable guys, but this reminds me of like this Chinese
robot. So they made like a like a
walking robot that like looks very like very much like human,
like it can just walk like a human.
But then they made her have boobs.
They made it have. Boobs.
Because she needed that, right? Yeah, but like, why don't you
make a man like, or a gender neutral robot?
Like why does a robot have to have like boobs?
You know what I mean? What was the robot doing like
just. Walking, I think like it was
like a dip, like, I don't know, launch party and they were like
showing what this robot can do. And I think the most like
breakthrough thing is that this robot can walk like a human.
They just did it for their entertainment.
Like they. Oh, probably, yeah.
Maybe if they did it's. Like hey guys, let's give the
robot boobs. Of course.
And it's like people were like mad because like they didn't
give the male version of the the robot's apps.
They just like or like wide shoulders like nothing.
It's like the the the guy version of the robot looks like
just look like a robot. They're.
Probably insecure. They're like, we want this robot
to be hotter than me, but. Right.
Oh, that's so true. That's so.
True, but they're like the girl robot has to be hot.
We need more women scientists in the robot field.
Women in STEM? Yeah.
Women in male dominated fields. Have you ever been?
We need to actually, no. Oh, what did you study in?
College. I majored in philosophy.
Philosophy. Oh my God what a bold move as an
Asian. I know, right?
Well, 'cause I had a scholarship, so I was like, my
parents couldn't like hold my tuition over me.
I was like paying for it myself. Technically.
So thank you. But then I was like, yeah, I'll
do what I want, you know. So I double minored in religious
studies and creative writing cause philosophy wasn't enough.
I did have a phase where I, I was studying science, but I'm,
I'm like the worst Asian. Like actually I got like AC in
chemistry, organic chemistry. And that's like the reason I
didn't graduate with like summa cum laude.
I was Oh my God now cum laude 'cause I missed it by like .1
because of fucking organic chemistry and I was like I'm not
doing pre Med No I mean it's whatever.
No I, no I I We love a smart girl.
Oh, thank you. Well, in some ways.
But not not the useful, not the lucrative 1 not.
Well, well, we're, we're doing, we're doing well.
Are you in STEM? No, I well, I studied like kind
of more STEM when I was in high school, but at college I just
like I just give it up. I just did like media.
So but I took like math one O 1 was like a mandatory class.
So I took math 101 and then like, I was like, this is so
easy. I got an A+.
And then that's when I realized, like, sometimes you can't just
take things for granted because my classmates were not Asian.
They're like bummed that they got AD and they have to take the
class again. Yeah.
And I'm like, so I, I'm so confused.
What? What?
Like they're like, it's so easy. Yeah.
It's like you're just so smart, though.
Like for you, yeah, it's, it's true.
It's true. It's like, yeah, it just comes
naturally maybe. It's in the gene.
Test Well, this was math for you.
Yeah, see math doesn't come naturally to me.
So for me, I feel like the anti Asian were like language and
like arts like humanities and stuff comes easy to me.
Like like on the Sats math was my lowest score.
So I actually, yeah, all my language scores were really
high, like the writing and reading.
Then I felt I actually I used to tutor Sats so I would always
have a tough time like tutoring math, like I would have to
practice those questions like ahead of time.
Well, you're tutoring SAT. That means you probably did it
better than other people anyway. I guess, yeah, See, you're
right. Yeah.
It's like, maybe we take some things.
Yeah, a little bit. Do you like?
Smart men, is that like something you look for?
But wait, sorry before I say, before I ask this question, I
just heard Pioli say that she always dated like like jacked
guy. So I guess I feel like I already
know the answer. No I'm kidding.
What's your like? What's your type?
OK, this is a complicated question.
Let me try to distill my answer. So I actually had a guy friend
say this to me. He was like, Pial, you've never
dated anyone on your level. You're not dating anyone on your
level. I was like, yeah, 'cause he
doesn't. It doesn't feel like they exist.
Like I feel like I almost. OK, so I actually was overweight
growing up. I was like, definitely a late.
I was like a late bloomer. So I think I almost developed
this thing where I wanted to go for like really hot guys to like
prove to myself that I could pull them, you know, And it's
almost like you. Can you're you're.
Gorgeous. Oh, thank you.
So are you. But but like it's weird.
It's like I had to like feel sometimes like it.
It became this game I would play with myself to get like this
validation, like if I get the hot guy, that means I'm enough,
you know, but then you know, a lot of the time the Hawkeyes are
really dumb or like you know, they're just they're like himbo,
like the himbo. I feel like I have AII had a
phase. I say had, but I've I've
historically like gone for himbos or not like gone for
'cause I. What's a himbo?
It's like the male version of a bimbo.
What's a bimbo? OK.
So like it's, it's like. Sorry.
Oh yeah, no, no, don't apologize.
Yes please, I want to learn. OK, so it's just, I mean, it's
like a derogatory term. Like it's kind of, you know, a
bimbo. It's it's like a dumb hot girl.
So like a himbo is like a dumb hot guy.
It's kind of like this stereotypical like gym bro a
little bit. Yeah.
So I think I would kind of go for guys like that.
And I almost like took pride in it.
Like sometimes my friends have even commented on it.
They're like, oh, Piali always pulls the hottest guy in their
room. But then what?
Where does that it? It never really got me anywhere.
Like there was never any long term potential with that 'cause
it's, you know, like, so on the one hand, my type, I have like a
superficial type maybe. And then I also have, but like
in a deeper level, I think yes, my type is like someone who can
actually hold a conversation and is really smart.
No, actually I know I no, I guess like I have gone for a lot
of like nerds like I I was going for like white nerdy boys for a.
While white nerdy boys What what's what's what?
White nerdy boys. I think because I grew up in
upstate New York, so I was like always around white people, so.
And I think it's like a woman of color sometimes it's like an
affirmation thing in a weird way.
I don't know, the whole race and dating thing is like very
complicated territory, right? It's like, there's a lot to
unpack there very, you know, turbulent waters.
We're we're wading into here. But yeah, like dating
preferences. And, you know, 'cause there's, I
feel like usually people fall into one of two categories.
It's like either you're like dating your own race or you're
like actively dating anyone but your race.
And I feel like for me, because I didn't really connect with
being Indian in a lot of ways, or I like wanted to reject that
part of myself. I would go for a lot of white
guys. But also I think because I was
rebelling against a lot of the cultural, like, misogyny and
that can exist in South Asian culture and South Asian men.
But yeah, I don't know. Not everyone's like that.
So I think my type is kind of, I don't know if I have a type
anymore. I think it's evolved.
So there's like the physical type and then there's like the
intellectual type. Yeah.
Well, I feel like, I feel like
it. You have to, for me, you have to
like reach a threshold for the looks and then I can get to know
you better. Like you have to present
yourself well enough. Sure, but I think also
attraction can grow. Like I think I was telling you
this like my therapist kind of yelled at me.
She was like, well, she said height won't emotionally support
you. Well, because I think also I
always was like a little bit of a heightist, like really, even
though I'm not that tall myself, really.
I would like date a guy like that's like 57.
Really, yes, good for you. Honestly, that's like I, that's
good, That's a good quality. Like I, I don't like that I, I
don't like that I'm heightist. It's something I'm like ashamed
of because it's not something that men have any control over.
And it's, it's such a like shallow thing.
I think for me it's because I was bigger.
So I want to feel small and I have that like notion in my
head. So I've always gone for like
really tall guys. What's?
The tallest you've been? 66.
Oh, that is really tall, like a basketball player.
No, he's just like really skinny, but like it's also too
tall I think. Is it true that tall guys have
bigger Dicks? Not necessarily, but usually,
yeah, sometimes. So you're confirming.
So yes. I have, I don't know if I should
say this one. I'm just going to say it.
My friends make fun of me sometimes because they're like
pial. You have a talent for finding
white men who are well endowed, who are what?
Well endowed, because usually white men are not that well
endowed. But like I always, I don't know,
it's like a divining rod. It's like a skill.
I just find them. How do they even know if they're
well endowed? I mean, I don't I don't know
until I know, but like somehow I don't know.
I'm able to suss it out maybe subconsciously, but it's not
necessarily true that tall guys have are have bigger Dicks.
But generally that is the case. I think only one time I found it
to not be the case. OK, but also short guys can be
pretty well endowed. I don't know the size thing is
also maybe I mean how do you feel?
I feel like it's always like after learning all these
theories like which race has bigger and smaller Dicks and
which like height and like build, I always find I am always
surprised. Yeah.
I feel like I had too much expectation coming from like how
I see the sky and then I'm always surprised, like either
pleasantly or unpleasantly. Yes, how how tall are you?
I'm 5657. So you would date someone 57
like your height? Well, they have to be good in
other ways too. Of course, yeah.
But I mean, I'm not trying to be like all like a St. like I don't
want to be too high up. But like if two guys who are
like similar in other backgrounds and everything else
and one guy is like 511 and other guy's 57, I'll definitely
date the 511 guy. Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm not gonna. Like a preference, but you
wouldn't like rule someone out. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think it's also because like growing up, I'm like, I
grew up in China and it's like my province is like the tallest
province in China and they're. Like, oh, really?
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm like the shortest
and my friend grew. Really.
Yeah, and I know learned all these things about America, like
how big American men are, like how tall they are and like, you
know, all the basketball, NBA, whatever.
And then I came here and I'm like, what the fuck?
Why? Why am I the tallest girl in the
room? Yeah.
Why am I taller than a lot of men?
Like, yeah, I I didn't understand, but maybe that's why
I'm more tolerating for men's hide because I don't know, I
maybe like you said, well, I don't know.
Well, but I do think, OK, so so I've been working on this joke.
So have you seen so on dating apps?
Women are looking for three sixes.
You know you haven't heard of that.
No, you haven't. No, no, no.
Tell me. 3 inches, Sorry. Sorry.
No. Not 3 inches.
No. I was like.
Three sixes, 6 inches, 6 figures and six feet.
Oh hell yeah, yeah, I'm on board with that right. 6 inches?
Isn't that kind of? Average, I mean 6 figures is
also average for New York I guess.
True, true. Yeah.
But and then like my friend asked me, can it be a point
system? Like if you're like 5 something
57, can you make like a 7 figure salary and make it up?
I'm like, I don't know, like, and that reminds me of a study
that I saw. I actually did research on this.
So the study was titled like the article was titled Size Matters
$30,000 an Inch. Oh yeah, it was like a study
about like how if a man under the 510, which is the American
average height for a man, if they're one inch shorter than
510, they need to make like $30,000 more A.
Year like to overcompens or to offset yes, depreciation.
Oh my God, that sounds so bad. Yeah, yeah.
And this was like this. In theory, I'm saying yeah.
And this is like done like 10, more than 10 years ago.
So with inflation, like maybe, right, Yeah.
With that's so interesting with inflation, right?
It's more than. Noise.
You don't think? Yeah, 30. 1000.
Well, yeah, that was the whole like 65 blue eyes, man in
finance, you know, that whole thing that was going around on
on TikTok. Was that your thing?
Is that your type? I feel, I feel like the idea is
that's everyone's type, right? In theory, but but in reality, I
don't know. I think I, I think that's what I
mean. I think my type has changed to
just, I don't know, I want to be like treated like a person.
Like I I have this debate with my friend where he's always like
nice guys finish last. I'm like, that's not true you.
Know nice guy who's. Yeah, he's always like, oh, you
know, like the the and I'm not really the best person to talk
about with this because I feel like I I prove him right with
like a lot of the guys I go for but or have gone for.
Well, I say go for, but I don't really go for any.
Like I'm not. I've never been like the
aggressor in a dating situation. Never.
I let them come to me. I do not make the first move.
I've never made the first move and I don't think I will.
Yeah. Really.
How does that feel? I, I, I don't know if I can say
empowering, 'cause I really respect when women make the
first move. I think it's awesome.
I just, I don't know, maybe maybe I'm not confident.
Maybe I just have, like, maybe I fall into traditional gender
roles or too, too much. Maybe I think it's like, I don't
know, I'm afraid of rejection. I think it would be hard to be a
man. Like, yeah.
Have you ever made the first move?
I feel like I'm not. If I really like the guy I
would, but I feel like I've also made like now I'm thinking about
the times that I've made the first move and like now I'm like
thinking about it. I'm so embarrassed.
Like I don't want to think about it anymore.
So maybe, maybe I'm just like pretending that I could, but I
actually can't. No, I, I mean, I don't think I
know what you mean, though. I, I like if I think about, I
think like one time I, you know, like wrote my number on a piece
of paper and left it at a guy's table and like ran away and I
wanted to kill myself. Oh my God.
He did text me OK.
But then what happened? And then he stood me up where he
like said it. He was like he made plans and
then he like cancelled the plans.
And then nothing ever. We like never talked.
Again, then why did you? Why would he text you that it
was? Like that took ever just don't
say anything like it was bizarre.
Yeah, that just happened to me too.
Like when when I was in college, I I thought this guy was like
really cute in my class and I don't know, maybe maybe I'm like
too self-centered. Like every time I just feel like
he just sits right next to me so he must be into me maybe.
But maybe that's like he. Chose.
He chose where to sit. He knew what he was doing.
No, no, no. I.
Feel like it was just like. That's like the only empty seat
and he was like a like place lacrosse and I like one time
during class, I gave him like a note that I that I wrote, it's
like you wanna be friends on Snapchat and I give it to him
and he added me on Snapchat and I'm like, I keep asking him, Oh,
you wanna hang out, whatever. And he just replies like the
thumbs up emoji, like that's like such a bro Y thing.
Oh my God, yeah. The bare minimum of effort,
yeah. And and then like I keep asking
him out and he doesn't, he doesn't like really like reply
or say anything. And I'm like, do you wanna like,
like. And then he, he's just like, I
need to like focus on my study and whatever.
And this was a gender studies class.
He could have studied you. What is he talking about?
Yeah, right. I was like, I'm like, yeah.
I'm the homework. Exactly.
And like the IT was really funny like the gender studies class we
took it was also like they were talking about there's whole
class talking about like mail ordered bride from China.
Oh my God. And I feel like, well, I well I
should be leading the class anyway.
That's so funny. Yeah.
How's how's, how's culture has been like, like dating, How's
culture and dating been like, I don't know, mixed up or not
mixed up for you? What?
Do you, I don't know. I don't know.
I mean, like, I'm trying to be smart because I just talked
about college, but I don't know what I'm talking about right
now. You are smart, but I just wanna
make sure. I also wanna make sure, I also
wanna say that both me and Piyali are a little fucked.
We're a little fucked up last night.
It had to be sad. It had to be sad.
But we're we're powering through.
We are. We're very cozy in bed right
now. Yeah, it's much like bad.
I we both we both had fun last night, but right now the brain
is not really. Working.
It was such a relief though when you said that I was like Oh my
God girl me do same vibe right sometimes.
Sometimes you just have to share something to get something.
You know, just put it out there. Yeah.
What did? I mean, you were asking about
how is culture? Oh, what were you going to?
Ask No, I was going to ask what you do, but I probably shouldn't
be talking about that on the podcast.
Yeah. But it was funny.
I like I bumped into Piyali when I when we're at City of Goths
which. Is like a big.
Halloween party in New York, and if you haven't been you, you,
you have to go. It was so fun.
Yes. Well, OK, so you were talking
about culture and dating. So I think, yeah, like sometimes
I consciously, I've like tried not to date Indian guys.
That's what I was kind of talking about earlier where I'm
like, oh, I reject the culture or they're like really
misogynist or they can be like, or I had like an ex who was like
that. But then I don't know, sometimes
with white guys or like not, you know, Indian people, I'm like
maybe they don't get like a certain part of me so.
That's what I feel sometimes, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And I think with like, so the
guy I was with that night, like, yeah, I think it's kind of one
of those things where I think I'm like not used to having.
So I was, I was talking about like the himbos, right?
And like the fuck boys. Like I think I found a level of
comfort in fuck boys. Like I dated this guy a few
months ago and he really fucked me up.
I can curse, right? Yeah, OK.
Yeah, 'cause he was like a fuck boy in nice guy clothing.
Like he like, right. Like he presented like boyfriend
material, but he was 2 timing like the whole time.
And I'm kind of like, if you're gonna be a fuck boy, just be a
fuck boy. Like just be open about.
And I think that I almost find that comforting 'cause I'm like,
oh, there's no expectations. I don't like expect anything.
And I think I've almost become like, I've become a fuck boy
myself. Like I've become a female fuck
boy where I'm like, I, I don't know, I yeah, fucker.
Like I'm kind of, I don't know. I think I 'cause I was in like a
long relationship. Like I think my life arc has
been I grew up because I was a late bloomer.
I like wanted her boyfriend like so bad.
I wanted a boyfriend like more than anything.
And then I got boyfriends and they ruined my life.
Like literally they just ruined my life like I made.
You a fuck girl? Yeah, So then I was like, fuck
this. Like I'm doing me.
I don't want to be in a relationship.
I'll just like use men the way they use us, you know, the way
they use me. And I was kind of like, OK,
we're on the same page. This is like mutual.
And you can material from it. Exactly.
I look at dating as material totally.
I'm like, I always get, yeah, but then so like when a guy's
nice to me, I'm kind of like, what's wrong with you?
Like it's weird. It catches me like off guard
cause I've become so comfortable with like the kind of maybe like
like a version of myself, right? Like not really sharing myself
with someone 'cause I'm and I'm not used to being respected.
I'm not used to being valued. I'm really used to being like
objectified and it's almost like a protective mechanism I've
developed. So then like now when someone's
nice to me, like, you know, this guy, for instance, I'm like,
I'm, I'm suspicious, you know, but it's like also nice.
I'm like, Oh my God, I forgot. I I didn't know what it was like
to feel safe. Yeah, yeah, me, you should have.
Loved that that counts for sorry I didn't mean why is that?
No, you go. Oh, I was just gonna say that
counts for more than you know, like height or money or
whatever. I feel like there still have to
be a threshold for height and money or and.
Look, he has money. Yeah, hell yeah, those things
matter. But I think also attraction can
grow. Like that's why I hesitate to
even say the type thing. Like I actually I got banned
from Hinge. I got banned from Tinder.
We should have. We should have 5 when we're not.
OK, Yeah. What how?
Why did you get banned from Hinge?
OK so I don't know for sure, but my theory is that I was too.
I got banned for being too nice, like I had too many matches.
I had like thousands of matches, I think.
I don't even remember. Like I people would look at my
notifications and they'd be like, holy shit, like that is.
Crazy. I had like thousands of matches
because I would just like back everyone who liked me, no?
I thought you said you only want the.
Well, I guess in. Reality, yes, but in OK, like in
theory yes, but in reality I am kind of like, oh, I don't, you
know, everyone has a chance. I want to give everyone a
chance. That's true.
I don't want to just be superficial.
I can't really tell that much about someone from like a
profile. Like I've actually never really
had a significant online dating experience.
Like, I pretty much exclusively meet people in real life and
have connections with people in real life 'cause I'm such a like
vibe person. So the apps, yeah, the apps I'm
like, I can't really get excited by like a profile, you know,
pictures and like fake cultivated answers.
So I just kind of liked everyone who liked me.
But then, you know, when it came time to actually like messaging
and everything, then, you know, then I would actually be a
little more choosy. So I wasn't actually interacting
with people and then a lot of people would accuse me of being
a fake profile or you know, I'd get a lot of messages it it's
like the 180 guys we'll do on apps is so crazy where like
they'll start open with good morning, beautiful.
Well, you're. The 180 guy.
So they'll be like like they'll start with, Oh my God, you're so
beautiful, like can I give you flowers?
And then when you don't respond, you stupid bitch, you think
you're too good for me, you know, and then they would report
me. So I think I I got reported for
being a fake profile or, you know, like am IA bot.
And then yeah, I just went to log in one day and they were
like, your profile has been removed.
That's crazy. And I appealed and they denied
it and I'm unhinged. Do a joke about this.
I've been unhinged. I like the joke and no well I I
was unhinged but then I don't know why I I was banned from
Tinder but I think. Yeah, why I was going to.
Ask. I think your explanation is
probably the the the true, like the same.
Yeah, yeah, we're just too, too hot.
We. Just we're too hot for the ABS.
Yeah, we're, we're having too many matches.
We can't. We don't have enough time for
them. No, that's actually true.
They just get salty. Yeah.
No, it's true. And that's the other thing
There's it's too much. It's too many options.
It's too available. Yeah, I can't.
I don't know. I get overwhelmed.
Yeah, me too. And it's like, you can't really
tell anything from. OK tell me, do you have like a
the funniest dating story? Funniest story.
OK, well, I'll tell you something that kind of I thought
of when we were talking about this the app So, and this is
also a joke I'm working on where, OK, I do understand how
men feel on apps because men are always like, oh, I don't get any
matches and we're like drowning in matches, right?
But then I, I did go on bumble BFF for like girlfriends.
Oh my God. I have, yes.
Yes, go go. And then I was like not getting
any match. I was like wow so 100 guys want
to fuck me but not a single girl wants to be friends with me.
This is so demoralizing. Right.
Oh, I have the same thought. I, I was like trying to write
like similar jokes, but I was like, I was on Bumble BFF and
then like no, like I have matches and then they don't
reply to me and I feel like I have to make so much effort.
Getting ghosted by. Yeah, it's so sad.
It's yeah, that's a real thing. So funniest dating story.
I'm trying to think. Like online dating or funniest
profile you've ever seen My on top of my mind, I've seen
profiles that say I like my coffee like like I like my woman
like I like my woman like I like my coffee without other guys
sticking it. That's pretty much it that I can
remember. Without another guy sticking it.
Oh OK so I have so see this is what I mean by like the slut
shaming like I feel like. OK so two things come to mind. 1
is I saw a guy right on his bumble.
You know how you can use the opening moves?
Now I have to use Bumble because which was terrible because again
I don't like making the first move.
But now if you have opening moves, guys can send the first
message. I didn't know.
That yeah, pro tip. So I go on it when I'm bored or
whatever. So I IA guy wrote one of the
prompts who was like on a scale from mildly dead to fully
unhinged, where are you? Like which one?
Which end of the spectrum are you?
And I was like, well, I think I'm more unhinged than dead.
Like, how about you? And he sent like some emoji,
like as a response, like the, you know, like embarrassed or
like sweating emoji. But then he also said like the
flowers because I, I was like, listen like, and I don't ask
questions. You don't want the answer to my
guy. But then I also sent him a link
to that video on YouTube. Like the hot crazy scale.
I feel like allowed to be crazy because it like then guys think
you're hot or like, you know what I mean?
Are you, have you heard this? No, I.
Have. What is it?
My God, I have to send it to you.
So it's like a guy in front of a whiteboard and he's it's like a
graph and he's like, the hotter a girl is, the crazier she is.
So I almost feel like enabled to be crazy or like I feel
validated and being crazy. I'm like, at least that means
I'm hot, you know? Or like, you know, there's this
thing like, hot girls are crazy. They are, though.
Are you? We are, yeah.
I don't know. If I don't, I feel like I'm not
that crazy. Maybe I'm not that hot.
Maybe that's the. Reason you're hot, you're hot.
Maybe you're just emotionally stable and not, you know.
Why? Why are hot girls crazy though?
I wanna find a justification for that.
I don't know, unusual thing maybe?
It's just a crutch I'm like holding onto, but it's it's like
a thing that guys will, you know, like joke about.
So I send them that. So then another story that comes
to mind. OK, so I was in a situation
recently where I was like sandwich between my own Eskimo
brothers. What is Eskimo brothers?
You've OK, so Eskimos. I like learning English today.
That's just my brain. So Eskimo sisters, it's like if
we've slept with the same guy, we're Eskimo sisters, and then
Eskimo brothers have slept with the same girl.
So I was like in a situation where I was with two guys who
have I've hooked up with, but neither of them knew about the
other. And then it was like, really
awkward for me because I'd be like, Oh my God, you guys know
each other. Oh, they know each other.
You just found out. So I had like, seen they kind of
followed each other on Instagram.
Maybe I shouldn't be talking about something on the podcast.
I hope they don't figure this out.
But yeah, I was kind of, I'd seen they, like, followed each
other, but I'd met them separately, so I didn't know.
And then like, I ended up in a situation where like, I was in
the same room as both of them because they're like part of I
guess a larger mutual friend group.
And it was so weird for me. I I would be weirded out too.
I have been trying to think, Oh my God, there's so many stories
that I want to say but I can't say.
It's like I can't say it on camera.
I know now I'm like, should I not have said that?
Maybe that's OK. OK, You didn't like mention
names or anything like if I Yeah, I was thinking more like
specific, like if I say it and people won't know who it is.
But my brain's not working today, you know, that's now
that's how you know how much fun I had.
I Yeah. I'm trying to think if there was
something else. I don't know what is going on in
my brain. There's nothing in my brain.
It doesn't. It's not usually like that.
Is that what hot girl being hot feels like?
Just nothing in your brain. Like, yeah.
You just say whatever you want to say.
Like you. Yeah.
Yeah, I think so. Just like unfiltered.
I was thinking of, I feel like so many things have been coming
up for me. I was thinking of like how I
think I have a joke about why women like tall guys.
I think it's. Women like tall guys.
Why women like tall guys? I think it's because they take
better pictures. Like the angle is is really.
The angle I I disagree I disagree really yes, they make
you short because. Like oh, because they're taking
it from too high. I feel like when a guy's shorter
than me though, I get like a double chin and like the angle
is not flattering. But I guess it is good for your
body. Maybe they'll get like a good
butt. I don't know.
I think I'm, I've given up on guys taking pictures with me.
It's like you have to make peace with.
Yeah, that's true. They just don't know what
they're doing. I also the other joke I'm
working on though, with tall guys is like, I think we just
can't see their faces clearly. Like there was there like there
was this really tall guy and I, I thought he was hot by default.
And then I got what closer look at his face and I was like, oh,
he's actually not really, but I just assumed you.
It's there's like a joke. It was on social media where
people were like, is he tall? Is he hot?
Or is he just tall and white? Can you do a Can you do a Can
you do a hot guy? Oh sorry, can you do a tall guy
impression? Yes.
What would a tall guy say? What a what would a white, tall,
skinny like? I don't know guy would say.
I think, I think just like they're so confident.
I don't know, like they're just, it's like almost shocking to me
sometimes the level of confidence that like my, my
friends actually make fun of me for this.
He was he was like why is your type either boring or completely
insane? Which ones are the hot ones, the
insane ones or the the boring ones?
Or both. Both in different ways, I guess.
Yeah. I feel like I need to go out to
date more to be keeping up with the podcast.
I feel like I I used to be such a slut and recently I've been
tamed down and it's not. It's been hard for me to write
jokes lately and. It's the reason not to, not to
tame yourself. We yeah, I do.
I do. OK, so this is, it's a double
edged sword though, 'cause sometimes I'm like, are all my
slutty stories like going to dissuade any guy from ever
wanting to date me? It's like, are they gonna hear
my are they're gonna watch this podcast, be like, Oh my God, I
don't wanna be. That's not yeah, but this is
what I mean though. This is what fucks me up is like
the double standards between men and women or like, you know,
like men can have a body count. Like no one's the things that
people think are OK for men or say are OK for men.
Like then they like that that comment you saw.
I don't want another guy's Dick. Whatever.
Like what do you expect? I'm just gonna sit around
waiting for you. Like let me live my life.
It's it's crazy. I actually just saw this, sorry.
No, sorry. I was my my brain is down.
Sorry. You go ahead.
I. Feel like you're carrying the
whole conversation. No, no, no.
You're. I feel like I'm talking too
much. And I was like, I'll just keep
talking. No, please.
You OK, So I just. I saw this study, Yeah.
Where like basically men benefit from marriage and relationships
more than women do. Like men's life expectancy
increases, they're like more productive or as women it like
actually decreases. Yes.
Or it's like not as beneficial for us.
And that's how I felt like in relation, in a lot of my
relationships. I felt like I was drained.
I was like a shell of myself. And now I am really happy being
like loud and proud. But then sometimes I do have
moments where I'm like, oh, it would be nice to have like, you
know? Yeah, I think about that.
Some parts, yeah, Yeah. But I feel like for women, oh,
brain's not working today. I'm so sorry.
No, no, you're good. You're.
My God, what did I? What were you saying?
It's like having a dream. I'm like dreaming right now, you
know, like when you have a dream.
Out of body experience, yes, I feel that.
No, it's like we have a dream when you're trying to remember
it, but you don't remember it. But it's like.
Cobwebs. Yeah.
Is that? Me.
What does it say? What's that?
What's it called? What'd you say?
Oh, I said cobwebs. Yeah.
What is that? Like, like spider webs, you
know, like what spiders make. I don't.
Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I'm being really
crazy. I feel like I'm talking a lot.
No, I feel like I'm not talking too much like.
No, I feel like we had a really good conversation.
We talked about trash GPT. Wow, you're being the host
tonight. I thank you so much.
I feel like you'll be a very good podcast host and tonight
I'm like. No, you're.
You're like like wrapping up, you're like summary, like doing
all the points before. Now I have to do it for myself
too 'cause I feel like I had thoughts while we were talking
and I wanted to like say them but then I would like forget and
I would get distracted by something else.
Me too we were talking about. Sometimes I can still remember,
but tonight, tonight it's just not happening.
Oh, I have another funny date that maybe we can put in place
of the Eskimo brothers. Yes.
So I went on a date with this guy and he like, he was really
weird. He was like, oh, let's go to a
rooftop. And then he talked his way into
a private rooftop by like lying and saying he was like a a
resident of the building. And it was super weird.
I was like, are you a psychopath?
Like that's kind of weird. And then, yeah, like, I was
like, should I be impressed? Or is this just like weird?
And then later. He catch me if you can yeah so
far yes, but. Then later he we got in this
weird fight because he was like, do you want to go see this
psychic? And I was like, no, but he like
kind of bullied me into it. He was like, let's go see this.
Like he was really insistent about it.
And then I don't know something girl and he yes, no.
Then he started crying about how like psychics broke up his
family. Oh my God, I forget is.
This the first date. No, this was like a second.
Oh, that's still. It was a lot.
It was crazy. And I every time I tried to
leave, I was like, I'm going to go to the bathroom and then I
would come back and he'd like bought another drink and he was
still crying. It was like, that's crazy.
It was an unhinged. Experience Have you ever been to
the psychic? No, never.
I've had like psychic experiences.
I had a psychic approach me on the street once but I haven't
been to it. Were they correct?
What? They were, yeah.
It was kind of crazy. Is this like part of a longer
story? But basically he said that like
this girl was jealous of me and had put a curse on me and he
gave me instructions on how to break the curse and she was like
my ex's ex and she like cyber bullied me and was absolutely
insane. So he was actually right like
about everything. Wait.
This was all like before you provided information about your.
Ex Ex Yes no, he just like. Do you believe in that?
In psychics. Yeah.
Yeah, I think ever since that experience, like I really do, I
don't think everyone's a psychic, but I think, have you?
Have you been? I haven't been to a psychic.
I've been to like, what is it like astrologist and my
astrologist said that I'm gonna have 4 husbands in my life.
I don't know. I don't know how that's going.
I don't know. Like if you're like, good.
For you. I feel like or is a little too
much. I feel like I would stop at 3.
Like I feel like 3 isn't is enough.
I'm not even a number one. Sometimes I think about that.
I'm like, I haven't even been married yet.
But then I'm like. But I know as soon as I get
married, I'll like wanna get divorced, you know?
Yeah, we move on to the next. Normalize having 4 husbands.
Yeah, well, if they're old and they, you know, and rich, then
you can, yeah. My psychic also said my
astrologist also said my husband is going to give me a lot of
money and my husband might be a little older but she didn't say
which one. And she also said that my my
love life is going to be a little tough.
But I think she meant that by like I'm going to have 4
husbands but I don't see that as tough.
I see that as living my dream. Yeah, I kind of.
I want your astrologer's number. OK, my astrologist is Chinese,
but she can. I think there's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she also, I don't know if I
can trust her. I don't like it hasn't been
proved. So I don't understand why you're
asking for her number. Maybe because I like her
answers, maybe she won't give me the same answers.
You know, that's true. Also, I like, I like how she's
like. I'm asking her like, is it OK if
I do stand up comedy? And she's like, yes, yeah.
And she's like, your, your love life is gonna be challenged, but
your career is gonna take off. And both of your both of you and
your husband is gonna make a lot of money.
That's great, yeah. But she's also been like, wrong
about a lot of things, so I don't know.
She yeah, she's told me that I'm gonna be single like, now.
But yeah, yeah, like I'm, I'm gonna be like celibate
basically. But girls, we having sex.
So I mean, I think there's material there.
You were saying you feel like you don't have material because
you're not slutty. That's OK.
There's there's more material than being slutty.
Like I think I'm struggling with this like clean material
something. Yeah.
But then that's what I mean. So my friend, actually, she told
me, she sent me a screenshot of a Hinge message she got.
And the guy was like, oh, so you're a comedian?
Do you just talk about sex? And like, this guy said that to
me once too. He was like, oh, you're a
comedian. Do you do a lot of raunchy
stuff? But like, no one says that to
guys. No one's like, oh, do you just
talk about sex because you're a male comic?
And they do talk about sex way more than us.
I never thought about it that way it.
Pisses me off. Like we're in such a thing where
it's like you have to, I don't know, it's like the whole
Madonna horror complex or it's Madonna horror.
It's like you're either seen as. I think about this a lot because
I think I get like sexualized a lot on, I feel like on my social
media. Yeah, no, this is good, this is
good. We're cooking.
We're in the kitchen. No, no, we're on the kitchen
'cause we don't belong in the kitchen.
But yeah, no, I feel like, 'cause I get, I think I was
telling you this. Like, I feel like I get
sexualized so much because of like just how my body is.
So like sometimes I, I feel like guys just see me as like an
object. Like they just see me as like a
certain way and they don't think they don't like, they don't see
me as like the girl to bring home to mom, you know, because
I'm not like seen as wholesome and not for whatever.
They just like categorize me. So the Madonna horror complex is
either guys see you as a Madonna, like a pure, like a
virgin, that Madonna, that Madonna.
Yeah. No, not the Madonna or like a
whore. You know, like, yeah.
Oh, I yeah, I've heard of that. Yeah.
I've also been told by guys that I shouldn't just do like sexual
materials and I like they're like, oh you're so funny.
You shouldn't just sell yourself short.
You can come up with so much funnier stuff without talking
about sex. I was told that by a female
teacher, yeah. I don't know, how do you feel
about like because they're telling us that I'm like
thinking maybe I should. It doesn't fucking.
Matter. It's like at the end of the day,
like as long as you're making people laugh, who cares?
And it pisses me off because it's like, I want to just like
normalize that this is what I mean.
Like we're fucked either way. Like whether you, like, whether
you dress up, whether you dress down, whether you have sex,
whether you don't have sex, it's like you who are going to be
judged, like we're always judged or like criticized, like no
matter what we do, it's like we can't win.
So I don't know. I, I think that's what I was
telling you. Like I want to do more clean
material just to like challenge myself.
And I know that I can. And also it opens up
opportunities. It's just the reality of the
world. But I also don't want to have to
feel bad about talking about a perfectly normal part of my life
and just 'cause you know, I have sex.
Like people are going to judge me like what, Or like see me as
a a lesser person like but people don't put those standards
on on men. No, Yeah.
I never heard of someone commenting on a man's post or,
like, stand a bit about, like, this is too sexual.
Yeah. They're like, women don't women
comics don't talk too much about, like, politics.
They only talk about like girly stuff.
Right, but exactly you never. Yeah or yeah, or society and
stuff, like serious stuff they talk about, like girly stuff and
sex. Right, right.
Or like you always see the classic like women aren't funny.
This stuff like no one ever says like men aren't funny.
Like Can you imagine like the comments that like the comments.
I want to make a video. So I I posted a real of like a
month ago where I was ranting about AI.
So have you heard about the AI actress Tilly Tilly Norwood?
So I posted a rant about this. I was just like, why is AII
thought the point of AI was to do the jobs that we don't want
to do, not the one job I actually want.
And like all the I I filmed this while I was like coming back
from the gym. So I'm wearing a sports.
Bra. I mean sports bra.
It's fine. It's like it was a sports bra
tank, like it was a shirt, like it's like it's and then if
anything, I was. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry. No.
What about like, what about the video?
Oh yeah. So that's the thing.
So like for me, I was like, Oh my God, I almost don't want to
post it. Like I, you know, I don't, I
feel like I'm not wearing makeup, I don't look good,
etcetera, etcetera. And then my friend was like just
post it and I posted it and all the this video has like over
1,000,000 views combined on like Instagram and TikTok but for all
the wrong reasons. Like all the comments are
fucking like in cells and disgusting men like talking
about my boobs, like leaving foul like obscene emojis and
like like they they started calling me titty Norwood.
Like all the comments. I know I laughed but also I was
like wow. And then there's so many
comments that are like oh, are those real or those fake?
I was like wow, like no one cares if actors are real but
everyone cares if my boobs are. Oh my God you should make get
follow up videos. Yeah, get your priorities to
create TikTok, but why did why did I get on this?
There was a reason AI women. Oh yeah, women and men.
OK, so that's the thing. Yeah.
So like this is what I was telling you about earlier.
Like I get comments all the time where people are like, oh, do
you have an only fans or like, like I went out with this guy
and he was like, yeah, do you have, do you have only fans?
Like you post a lot of pictures at the beach or in a bikini.
It's like, So what? I'm a Pisces man.
I like the beach, I like the water.
I love pools. Or I just don't need to explain
myself to you. Like how how does like enjoying
the beach equate to I have only fans.
Like yeah, like I've do you ever look at a guys Instagram?
He's posting like he's a surfer bro.
He's posting pics at the beach and like, Oh my God, he must
have only fans. What a whore.
Yeah, you never, I never thought about it that way.
Like on the guy's perspective, like a guy who's always posting,
like shirtless, like pictures at the beach, whatever.
Yeah, no one's ever like, oh, he must be dumb or he must be a
slut. Like just the judgement and the
comments that we get just for being women.
It's. Or if a guy only posts like,
very ripped pictures of like, I don't know, like shorts, and
they'll think that he's gay. Oh really?
Yeah, ripped shorts, ripped body and wearing shorts.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's the thing.
No one's ever like putting men down for how they present or
like doubting their intelligence or doubting their talent or any.
Like I get so many comments like, oh, you're just using your
body this that. It's like I don't see my body
the way that. Everyone else and I see your
Instagram, it's not like it's it's normal.
It's normal, right? Like, I'm not, you're not even
like, yeah. Yeah, Like, sorry, I have boobs.
Like because I have boobs, people think I'm, you know, like
I'm trying to show off or whatever and it's like, maybe
I'm just wearing a fucking bathing suit at the beach, like.
Yeah, my friend who also had big, big boobs, She's like
posting like she's not a comedian.
She's also posting like, like outfit videos.
And people are asking like, where's the link?
Like, how do I find the link? Like they're asking for her only
fan. So I guess that's not that's
not. Yeah.
And I recently I saw Louis CK's special.
Oh yeah. That was in theatre.
It was good. I mean, he like he he has
controversies, but I like I got the ticket for free, so I've.
Hell yeah, yeah. And I saw his material and I
like, 'cause I always been like, people have been telling me too
much about like, oh, you can't do the stroke, you can't do the
stroke. And then like I saw his material
and I'm like he, he's doing way riskier.
Exactly. Yeah, and he's like getting a,
what is it room? What is it called?
The standing ovation? This is what I mean.
This is exactly what I mean. Thank you for affirming that.
Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's infuriating.
It's actually like, and, and that's why I almost consciously,
I like to play into it a little bit.
Like I like to dress up for shows and I'm like, oh, you're
going to think I'm dumb because I'm wearing a skirt.
Like because I'm wearing a mini shirt.
Like I'm almost like I am going to let you think I'm like a a
bimbo. I'm going to let you think I'm
like a hot dumb girl and then pull out really smart jokes and
like pull the rug out from under you.
Like my first show I did actually, my friend told me that
one of her like someone in the audience was like, oh that like
judging me for like wearing a short skirt on stage, like why
and. 2020 what? What?
Exactly and my friend totally went for bat to me she was like
what do you want her to wear A fucking paper bag?
Like why am I getting judged for what I'm wearing on stage?
Like I'm not naked even if I wasn't care.
I know that exists naked in all these shows, but it's like I'm
wearing like something perfectly normal and like, you're not.
You're clearly. And it was a woman who said
that. Oh my God.
Like, you're clearly not listening to.
Yeah. It's like the internalized
misogyny. I don't know.
It's tough. Sometimes it's like the things
men say, but also the things women will say, like, and then,
yeah, I don't know, Sometimes it, it cuts deeper.
It's even worse. It's like.
Yeah, I feel like it's, it feels, I feel worse when someone
I identified with calls me out for things that they
misunderstood me for or they just don't see the world, like
they're just not on my side. I feel like that hurts me more
than like if a guy like calls me.
For sure, yeah. Yeah, well, I think we're we're
overtime. We went overtime.
But yeah, this is a fruitful conversation.
Sorry my brain was like down for a little bit, but I'm glad I
came back and I heard so many amazing stories that you just
told. Oh, thank you.
No, I feel like my brain started to crash.
Here's the, I feel like we, we kind of like, oh, when I you
were here and I was here and then I was here and then you
were here. So we, we balance each other
out. I think collectively we have one
non hungover brain. Good, Good job.
Oh yeah. I I would look forward to
working with you again. Me too.
Oh my God I would love to. Do you ever have a repeat guest
or? I well, I just had yeah, 2 two
months. So hopefully this gets bigger
and I can have you on it. I love this idea.
I love. It so close.
Thank you so much for coming. Yeah, thank you for having me.
I was excited when you asked. And then when we ran into each
other at City of Gods, that's the next day.
It was like meant to be. I'm sorry if I scared you at
City of Gods. I was like in the clown makeup.
Oh no, you didn't scare me after.
Did you see the other people there?
You were fine. I love the makeup.
I wish I was good at makeup. I'm always like, really lazy on
Halloween. It wasn't really like technique.
It was just mainly time. Like if you like it, just put
like, yeah. No, you looked great.
You looked awesome. Thank you so much.
You look awesome too. Thank you.
And you were you were dressing as a white girl.
Yeah, yeah, I was Starlight from The Boys.
I love Co opting white superheroes.
I do Wonder Woman a lot. Too like I remember I should
start doing that like. Yeah, no Starlight.
She's blonde. And I thought about doing a
blonde wig and I was like, no, fuck it, I'm just gonna be me.
And you know what? I still got recognized.
Hell yeah. Yeah, by people who knew the
costume. Yeah, so people who can see you,
see for who you are, always gonna see who you are.
Such a good note to end up. Thank you.
Okay, this is our. One Brain podcast for tonight. 2
Asians, 2 Asian. Girls, one brain.