1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,160
I do think the monogamy is 
unnatural. 

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,960
We're not supposed to be 
monogamous and that's why it's 

3
00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:11,200
my kink. 
We for, you know, thousands of 

4
00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:18,680
years humans lived communally. 
We raised all the all the elders

5
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,920
lived in one Hut, all the 
children lived in another Hut, 

6
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,000
right. 
And we would like there was no 

7
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,240
concept even of like lineage 
like this is my child or your. 

8
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,640
Child. 
The only reason we got obsessed 

9
00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,920
with that was because we we 
stopped being nomadic hunter 

10
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,960
gatherers and we we settled down
and started doing agriculture in

11
00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:44,480
one place and rulers needed a 
way to tax us and we need. 

12
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:48,240
So then we needed a way to pass 
on private property to our 

13
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,760
offspring. 
And then all of a sudden it 

14
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,000
became very important whose kid 
was whose. 

15
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:56,680
Women can have multiple orgasms.
Men fall asleep after one. 

16
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,920
Not all men. 
I don't know. 

17
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,960
I don't know about you. 
I mean not, yeah, I mean, if 

18
00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,400
you, if we want to get back to 
how I impressed my wife that 

19
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,320
first date, women are meant 
clearly meant to have multiple 

20
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,360
partners. 
Oh, thank you. 

21
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,440
Yeah. 
Wait, why? 

22
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,160
Because like you're. 
Why can't I just have like 1 

23
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,320
very skillful partner? 
Or yeah, sure. 

24
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,880
Or that. 
Yeah, or that I'm just saying 

25
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,680
that that I don't think it's 
natural. 

26
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,800
Monogamy isn't natural, but it 
is my kink and it is what I like

27
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:30,320
and I'm really into it, but it's
definitely not not natural. 

28
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,560
Or not. 
Yeah, I understand the not 

29
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,320
natural part. 
But I was also thinking like, I 

30
00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:38,760
always thought, oh, maybe I'm 
Polly or I like I can like fall 

31
00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,640
in love with multiple people at 
the same time and like them 

32
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:44,640
equally. 
But if I like one person, like 

33
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:48,440
really, really much, like so 
much, I wouldn't want to see 

34
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,440
other people. 
Yeah. 

35
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,800
Well, yeah. 
And that's how I feel, yes. 

36
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,320
Yeah, so and you think we're 
outliers? 

37
00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,080
I think that the contemporary 
institution of monogamy and 

38
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:06,920
matrimony is a is part of the 
larger hoax of like hegemonic 

39
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:13,360
patriarchy that and like that 
upholds capitalism, and I think 

40
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,960
it's wrong. 
But you're not doing the right. 

41
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:20,240
Thing but it is also my choice 
and what I like to do with my 

42
00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:29,080
wife. 
Technically all all AI is binary

43
00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:31,920
because it's made out of ones 
and zeros. 

44
00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:37,400
That's a dumb joke, I'll see 
myself out. 

45
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:39,800
That's OK. 
Finally ready. 

46
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,360
All right. 
Everything's ready at four. 

47
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:42,640
Yes. 
Perfect. 

48
00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:49,680
Yeah, OK, Harkness, I'm just 
gonna go right in. 

49
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,800
So I'm gonna start with. 
Wow. 

50
00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,840
No foreplay. 
No foreplay. 

51
00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:55,720
We're just going right in. 
We're. 

52
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,120
Going right in. 
Harkness, what's keeping you up 

53
00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:00,080
tonight? 
What's keeping me up tonight? 

54
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,240
I do. 
You really wanna know? 

55
00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:05,760
I mean, the amount of things 
that I worry about at night, 

56
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,800
like from little things that I 
have no control over to big 

57
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:10,600
things that I also have no 
control over. 

58
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,120
OK, pick one. 
Like, the state of the world is 

59
00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,760
terrifying right now. 
But mostly I, you know, what I 

60
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:24,680
really think about is like, oh, 
that hasn't happened. 

61
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,640
Shit like this. 
I'm always worried that my 

62
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,600
microphone condoms gonna fall 
off. 

63
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,520
Oh my God, that does not. 
That hasn't happened on this bed

64
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,960
before. 
Are you saying this never 

65
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:37,680
happens to you? 
This. 

66
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,200
Never. 
Happens like oh this never 

67
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:44,280
happens to me. 
Mike never, but condom sometimes

68
00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,520
because we'd be having that 
tight pussy, you know? 

69
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:57,520
I I, no, you know, I think I 
will you tell me if this is 

70
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:58,800
normal. 
This feels normal to me. 

71
00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,080
I lay in bed at night and I 
think about relationships that 

72
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,240
went not, like, romantic, but 
just like friendships, any kind 

73
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:09,400
of relationship. 
And I replay like, what I think 

74
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,480
went wrong, what I could have 
done differently. 

75
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,720
And of course, it's pointless. 
Like you. 

76
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:17,279
It it is what it is. 
What happened happened. 

77
00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:18,200
There's no point. 
Wait. 

78
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,920
I'm so sorry. 
Yeah. 

79
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,520
Did I? 
Did I tell you to prepare like a

80
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:26,600
one line hot take? 
Oh yes, sorry, I didn't realize 

81
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,880
you were prompting me for that. 
Oh sorry, I shouldn't be more 

82
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,560
clear. 
I no, I said I was like, this is

83
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:31,520
a very serious. 
Question. 

84
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,480
I was like, I did not want to 
know about your relationships. 

85
00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,200
No, OK, we can. 
We can go back. 

86
00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,520
To that, yeah, Yeah. 
Do you want to say it again? 

87
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,320
Yeah, I can say it again. 
No, we don't have to. 

88
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:43,280
It's fine. 
We don't have to, like, cut it 

89
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,240
or anything. 
Harkness, what's keeping you up 

90
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,440
tonight? 
I have a feeling shit sorry I 

91
00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:51,240
fucked this up. 
Hold on. 

92
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:59,360
I am surrounded constantly by 
attractive, liquored up, 

93
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:05,200
sometimes drugged up horny 
people and because of that I 

94
00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:07,800
will never ever cheat on my 
wife. 

95
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,640
Because of that, you will never 
cheat on your wife. 

96
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,400
Why? 
Well, here's my theory and this 

97
00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:14,560
is just something that I've I've
realized recently. 

98
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:19,280
I think that men, because when I
was younger, I was like, damn, 

99
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:22,720
I'm going to become the sickest 
DJ in New York. 

100
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,880
I'm going to be, I'm going to be
surrounded by hot girls in 

101
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:31,560
bikinis, pop and champagne, you 
know, drug, drugs and, and 

102
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:34,440
nowadays I'm like, actually what
I really want. 

103
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:36,360
And this, it occurred to me 
because this actually happened. 

104
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,160
I was at a very high end 
nightclub, like a very like 

105
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,080
chic, but it was laid back. 
The vibes were laid back. 

106
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,800
And I just had a couple of caddy
gaze on either side of me 

107
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,040
sipping white wine. 
And I was like, oh, this is 

108
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,520
actually better. 
This is better than what I 

109
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:53,200
thought I wanted. 
That you're that you're 

110
00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:56,680
surrounded by caddy gay guys. 
Yeah, who are just being mean 

111
00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,240
about the people at the party. 
And I'm like, this is fantastic.

112
00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,960
Wait, wait. 
Well, first of all, what? 

113
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,240
Wait, sorry, you're right. 
I made a real leap there. 

114
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,080
No, let me back it up to the hot
people and why hot people mean I

115
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:16,040
will never cheat. 
OK, tell us, darkness. 

116
00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:20,280
Yes, people. 
I feel like men cheat on their 

117
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:25,640
girlfriends, wives, boyfriends, 
husbands just because they want 

118
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:29,040
to know that they can. 
Are you saying men cheat more or

119
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,440
are you just saying that's why 
men cheat? 

120
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,400
I'm not saying men cheat more. 
I just was thinking I was sort 

121
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,680
of pontificating. 
I'm like, why do men cheat? 

122
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,960
And I'm like, because you hear, 
I think you hear these stories 

123
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,040
about they're like, oh, like I 
found out my guy was cheating 

124
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:45,680
and like, she wasn't even that 
cute, you know what I mean? 

125
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,840
And it's like, that's not why 
he's cheating. 

126
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,520
He's not cheating because she's 
so much hotter. 

127
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,720
He's so much hotter. 
It's because it's because men 

128
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:58,000
are are insecure and they will 
let let's back it up. 

129
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,800
Men are the weaker sex. 
Let's just say we'll. 

130
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,360
Just get that. 
Let's get out of the way. 

131
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,680
Let's get that. 
Men OK patriarchy is just 

132
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,480
gaslighting. 4000 years of 
gaslighting we've been telling 

133
00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:12,160
you that you're the weaker sex 
because we're actually so frail 

134
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:15,160
and we need so much attention 
and so much help the only way we

135
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:18,080
can get it is if we like 
hardcore trick you guys all 

136
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,400
right that's. 
Other that's why that's how you 

137
00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:23,120
were gonna get on podcast guys, 
this if you were a guy, this is 

138
00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,280
like, this is what you have to 
kind of declare to be on the 

139
00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:26,800
podcast. 
This is how you get into bed. 

140
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:32,080
With you exactly. 
Yeah, oh, so anyways, so so that

141
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,160
I think I and I don't, I 
wouldn't know 'cause I'm not a 

142
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,280
cheater. 
Well, but. 

143
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,960
Well, I mean, yeah. 
Why did you cheat? 

144
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,920
That's a good, OK wait. 
Except for the one very famous, 

145
00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,480
very public cheating that I did.
Do I? 

146
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,480
No, but I think I guess what I'm
talking about is like, you know,

147
00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,280
married guys who are like 
middle-aged, who like like their

148
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,560
hairlines receding. 
They're getting a bit of like a 

149
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,960
beard gut. 
They're like, Oh no, I don't 

150
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,520
still have it. 
I couldn't still seduce somebody

151
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,640
if I wanted to. 
They're worried that they don't 

152
00:08:03,680 --> 00:08:05,400
like that they don't have the 
juice anymore. 

153
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,080
Right. 
Is that why you? 

154
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,920
Cheated. 
That's not why I cheated because

155
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,800
I was in a very unhappy 
relationship, but I was I was my

156
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:14,200
situation. 
We can't even. 

157
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:19,000
I mean we can, but not the point
is men cheat because just to 

158
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,360
remind themselves that they 
could get someone if they wanted

159
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,280
to. 
OK. 

160
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:27,160
I'm out here surrounded by 
people kind of hinting that I 

161
00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:28,640
could get it if they if I wanted
to. 

162
00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,120
And I'm like, you know what, I'm
good. 

163
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:32,840
I'm good. 
And they're all hot like. 

164
00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:35,159
They're all hot. 
Every single person at one of my

165
00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:37,799
parties is hot. 
Fuck and you, you don't give 

166
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:40,320
them the time of the day. 
I'm like, no thanks. 

167
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,440
I mean, even if they're not 
trying to sleep with me, they 

168
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,760
come with, they come at me with 
like, I want to sleep with you 

169
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,520
energy because they're trying to
get me to like play a song. 

170
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,840
But they know you're married. 
They do they. 

171
00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:51,240
You're wearing your wedding 
ring. 

172
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,760
Yeah, but it's dark. 
These people are are messed up. 

173
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:58,200
You know, they don't know. 
I mean, I guess it is a thing 

174
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,840
that people want to fuck a DJ. 
Yeah, well, I think less and 

175
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,320
less as as the public, as the 
general public is learning more 

176
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,840
and more about DJs, that allure 
is going down. 

177
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:13,720
But but well, I will say this, 
nightlife is engineered to make 

178
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,520
you feel insecure. 
That's a hot take. 

179
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,040
That's true though. 
Nightlife is like from the door 

180
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:24,040
to like getting inside to like 
the just the layout of the room.

181
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,120
It's all geared towards making 
you feel insecure so you spend 

182
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,760
more money, you spend more time,
and. 

183
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:36,800
I mean is in every business. 
Oh my God, I think you're right,

184
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:37,800
right? 
Capitalism. 

185
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,440
That's capitalism. 
Capitalism. 

186
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,560
So you know what that makes me 
feel better? 

187
00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,840
It's DJ is not the problem. 
Capitalism is the problem. 

188
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,240
Exactly. 
So you're not the problem maker,

189
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,240
thank God. 
But the point is you put one 

190
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,160
person and this could be, this 
could be like the bartender, 

191
00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:53,880
this could be the girl dancing 
in like the go go, you know, 

192
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:59,040
cage or whatever, or or the DJ. 
You put somebody in a position 

193
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,840
you you like raise them up. 
So as a DJ sometimes all you 

194
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,520
have is like 1 foot of height 
over everybody else cuz you're 

195
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,520
on like a little pedestal, you 
know, you're like. 

196
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:09,240
Literally. 
Like, yeah, like at the 

197
00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,480
pharmacy, yeah. 
You're just like the just a 

198
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:14,440
little bit more. 
Yeah, I have more information 

199
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,840
about everyone. 
Everybody sees that and they're 

200
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,600
like he's in charge, they're in 
charge that they're that's the 

201
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,480
person to impress. 
Doesn't that feel good? 

202
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,400
Exactly, and that's why I'm not 
going to cheat because I already

203
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,840
feel I'm get, I get this 
attention from people so I don't

204
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,160
need to go finding it. 
So you're not insecure. 

205
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,160
No, I am. 
I'm actually very insecure, 

206
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,080
which is why I need to be 
validated. 

207
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,400
Like every other night of the 
week. 

208
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,400
I need to go out and stand on a 
little pedestal in the center of

209
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,760
the room and have everybody look
at me and be like, oh, he's the 

210
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:46,600
important one. 
OK, but that it just stops 

211
00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:48,280
there. 
You don't need the further like 

212
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,280
you know. 
You don't need to like cheat on 

213
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,640
your wife or sleep with someone 
attractive to like further your.

214
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,160
Yeah, I think that's where these
guys mess up is that they're 

215
00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:01,040
like, well, I actually am gonna 
do the thing, yeah. 

216
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,000
Wait, what was the take again? 
What was the thing again? 

217
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,600
I'm surrounded by hot people 
constantly who want my attention

218
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:09,680
and therefore I will never cheat
on my wife. 

219
00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:14,720
Wow. 
I, I feel like for the, I don't 

220
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,520
know, four months that I know 
about that I know Harkness. 

221
00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:21,720
It's been everything like 
Harkness wife is, has been 

222
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,400
everything that you've been 
talking about. 

223
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,080
Well, there's that too. 
My wife also is amazing and 

224
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,720
incredible and the best woman 
ever. 

225
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,280
So there's that. 
I agree. 

226
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:31,360
I did try to explain this to 
her. 

227
00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:32,920
I was like, hey, you know, babe,
you know what? 

228
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,280
I, you know what? 
I realized she did not like this

229
00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,480
at all. 
No, Somehow. 

230
00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,280
Somehow. 
You're like trying to too hard 

231
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:44,040
to like, oh, look at this, this 
thing that I did just for you. 

232
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,400
Yeah, well, also, she said. 
But also, you're not going to 

233
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,440
cheat on me because I'm because 
you love me. 

234
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,560
That yes. 
And I was like, yeah, yeah, 

235
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,560
yeah. 
Well, sure, sure. 

236
00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,760
There's that. 
That's also very important. 

237
00:11:56,000 --> 00:12:01,320
I'm just talking about sort of 
like baseline, like male 

238
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,400
psychology. 
But why can't other men cheat 

239
00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:08,640
because they had a miserable 
relationship like you did? 

240
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,840
Yeah, I mean, that's allowed to.
I mean I yes this does feel 

241
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:15,320
really disingenuous because my 
wife and I did have like an 

242
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,960
affair for 2 1/2. 
With each other. 

243
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,280
Yeah. 
OK, Oh, this is OK. 

244
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:25,240
Yeah, we, I was like still fully
like married when we when we met

245
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:28,480
and we just had this very, it 
was sort of a fling and then it,

246
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,160
you know. 
This is like your story turns 

247
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,600
out to be like a the most like 
counterintuitive story because 

248
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:40,320
like if I met with someone and 
like the beginning of the 

249
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,960
relationships we're cheating on 
like or the person other person 

250
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:47,000
is cheating on their spouse to 
be with me and then we get 

251
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,160
together, I'll be so insecure 
that the person would do the 

252
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,960
same thing again. 
But but I guess you like 

253
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,800
reinforce you like reiterate 
that you are not doing that 

254
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,440
because you love your like 
whatever. 

255
00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:01,320
Yeah, I think that makes that's 
so counterintuitive for to. 

256
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,880
Me it is. 
Well, I mean, it's very much, 

257
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:05,320
you know, all of her friends 
were like he's he's never going 

258
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,600
to leave his husband for you. 
Like it feels like a ROM com 

259
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,400
where I'm the villain character 
and she meets somebody else 

260
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:12,680
who's who she's meant to be 
with. 

261
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,120
You know what I mean? 
I feel like the secondary 

262
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,680
character in a in a ROM com that
takes place in New York. 

263
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,480
Yeah, but you're actually the 
first. 

264
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:22,520
But it turns out, look, I do 
this all the time where people 

265
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:25,880
hear about my story, my, you 
know, my love story with my 

266
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,240
wife. 
And they're like, wait, so 

267
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,160
there's hope for me? 
I'm like, no, leave him. 

268
00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:33,040
Whoever that guy is, whoever 
that guy you think is the one, 

269
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,320
No, no, no. 
If they're acting like me, get 

270
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,480
out. 
Get out now. 

271
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,640
What's your excuse? 
Yeah, don't, don't. 

272
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,760
Although that being said, I do 
have a friend, I have a party 

273
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,840
friend who recently was like, 
oh, that guy, that guy I've been

274
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:52,760
seeing who's like 15 years older
than me, who like I put, I put 

275
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,160
my foot down and I was like, 
listen, if we don't get real, 

276
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,200
let we're going to break up. 
She even was like, listen, I'm 

277
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,920
leaving, but if you want to get 
real, hit me up. 

278
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:04,080
Oh my God. 
And he like came back to her and

279
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:07,200
then and now, like this was like
a year ago, I guess. 

280
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,480
And they were, she's like, yeah,
I'm going to Thanksgiving 

281
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,040
meeting his family. 
And I'm like, all right, so. 

282
00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,360
Getting real. 
Maybe, maybe it can. 

283
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:17,440
You know, everyone's, everyone's
their own person. 

284
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,240
Every story is its own story. 
But you just general, you just 

285
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:24,080
literally generalize how my men 
cheat on women because. 

286
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,560
Yeah, yeah. 
I would say that sort of 

287
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,360
everyone's unique except for 
men, straight men. 

288
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,760
Straight men. 
Everyone is their own person, 

289
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:35,720
except for straight men. 
Do do you ever think your wife 

290
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:37,320
is going to cheat on you? 
You have, do you? 

291
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,000
Ever. 
Oh my God. 

292
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:42,800
I actually no, not really. 
Not really. 

293
00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:46,200
But here's the thing, she does 
have a friend who's so tall. 

294
00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:51,280
He's he's so tall. 
And they they go to sound baths 

295
00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:52,480
together. 
Sound what? 

296
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:54,200
What is even bad? 
I've never been. 

297
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:59,040
Oh, sound baths like a real it's
like crystals and feelings. 

298
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:04,760
It's like you you lay in a room 
and they bang a gong and or like

299
00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:09,640
hit symbols and it's like 
resonating frequencies and like 

300
00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,760
guided meditation. 
So it's like a cult. 

301
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:16,920
Yeah, it's kind of a cult, but 
yeah, so she she does like her, 

302
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,560
her best male friend. 
Goes to cult with her. 

303
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,160
Goes to cult with her. 
Yeah. 

304
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,080
And I've never been, so who 
knows? 

305
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:26,480
Oh, so The thing is, he's so 
tall. 

306
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:29,920
He's like 66. 
Is he like married partner? 

307
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,240
No, he's super single. 
He's super single and he's like 

308
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,560
a finance Wiz. 
He's like retired. 

309
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,800
He's older. 
He's like maybe in his early 

310
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,360
50s. 
OK. 

311
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:42,960
But honestly, he works out. 
He's pretty fit. 

312
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,040
The more I'm starting to sweat. 
Actually, I'm. 

313
00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:46,160
Getting. 
Insecure. 

314
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,400
I'm getting insecure. 
We can turn the AC on. 

315
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,800
Oh. 
No, no, no. 

316
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:52,120
I know how I know how sound 
goes. 

317
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,520
You don't. 
We can't have that ruin well it.

318
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,560
And I'm not sweating because the
temperature, I'm sweating 

319
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,240
because I'm realizing my wife 
that might be having an affair. 

320
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,760
Are you OK with that? 
Like like A1 sided open 

321
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,520
relationship relationship? 
Why? 

322
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,720
Why does the Chinese accent just
come up do? 

323
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:13,800
You want to try another take? 
No, it's OK. 

324
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,120
One sided open relationship. 
One sided open relationship. 

325
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,640
I mean, technically speaking, I 
was doing, I was in A1 sided 

326
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,560
open relationship, you know, So 
I guess I can't really 

327
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:30,400
criticize. 
I mean honestly, real talk, if 

328
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:35,240
my wife did cheat on me, OK, I 
don't think I would leave her. 

329
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:38,600
How? 
What would you do then? 

330
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:42,880
I stay. 
I mean I wouldn't be happy about

331
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:47,840
it, but I mean I'm a middle-aged
man child. 

332
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,640
I don't know what I would do 
without her. 

333
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,240
You know what I mean? 
Like I don't know if I could 

334
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:54,600
like I would forget to like 
bathe myself. 

335
00:16:56,400 --> 00:17:00,200
How long have you been together?
That's a good question. 

336
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:04,119
What you don't know? 
Like 12 years. 

337
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,119
Yeah, including the ones that 
you're cheating. 

338
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,839
Yeah. 
Did she cheat on someone else or

339
00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:10,640
was she single? 
She was single. 

340
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,640
Yeah. 
How did you meet? 

341
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,040
It's a really cute story, 
actually. 

342
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,599
Wedlock. 
No. 

343
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:24,760
A cute story out of wedlock. 
Yeah, yeah, we met. 

344
00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:28,079
We met a bunch of times before. 
It's funny because she recently 

345
00:17:28,079 --> 00:17:29,640
retold the story at a dinner 
party. 

346
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,680
OK. 
To a bunch of other people and I

347
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,640
thought, wow, that's an 
interesting perspective on the 

348
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:34,960
story. 
Oh, that wasn't your 

349
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,080
perspective. 
I mean, it was more or less the 

350
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,440
way I tell it, but it was 
interesting to hear her. 

351
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,280
OK, let's, let's see. 
Let's hear it because. 

352
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,800
Essentially we had seen each 
other around like a lot at 

353
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,640
different parties and stuff. 
Like she, my partner and I, my 

354
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:51,440
husband and I at the time, we 
used to dress the same 

355
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,880
everywhere we went. 
Like twin? 

356
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,160
Yeah, we were twin. 
It was like a whole thing and 

357
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,760
OK. 
I have something to say about 

358
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,400
that. 
OK, well maybe say it because 

359
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,720
this is a long ass. 
Story OK, No. 

360
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:06,280
I feel like I go to parties and 
sometimes there's a lot of gay 

361
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:10,520
guys and they all dress the same
and like the people who are 

362
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,080
making out, they look exactly 
the same. 

363
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,160
It's like you love yourself so 
much. 

364
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,520
Is that what it is? 
I mean, yeah, no lies detected. 

365
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,160
I think it is. 
There's it's a narcissism for 

366
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:24,520
sure. 
There's a lot of self love, 

367
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:25,680
yeah. 
That's why I go to these 

368
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,840
parties. 
I kind of needed to see that, 

369
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,800
yeah. 
Yeah, your thing is, are you one

370
00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:31,480
of these women who watch gay 
porn? 

371
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,520
No. 
OK, but no. 

372
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:36,680
I that's the thing though, 
right? 

373
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,560
It is, isn't it? 
Yeah, I watched. 

374
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:43,520
The first porn I watched was gay
porn, OK? 

375
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:44,800
She said. 
The first. 

376
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,800
Point I watched, is she part of 
the show? 

377
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,640
Does she chime in like this? 
Sometimes OK if. 

378
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,760
Yeah, I like when the producer 
is like part of the when we not 

379
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,600
we break the 4th wall. 
Yeah, yeah. 

380
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,560
This is the this is the crowd 
work part. 

381
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,880
Yeah. 
You you dress at the same and go

382
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:02,760
to parties. 
Yeah. 

383
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,400
Oh, right, right, right. 
So we would dress the same, go 

384
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:08,160
to parties, make out, freak out 
girls, you know, confuse women. 

385
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,880
I would. 
Be so confused. 

386
00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:14,240
Oh, but so the thing was, was 
that Marina, my wife, my now 

387
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:17,800
wife, she and her bestie used to
kind of dress up the same too. 

388
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,560
Not like as not like as 
thoroughly as we did it, but 

389
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:25,000
enough, OK, enough that I would 
see them at parties and I'd be 

390
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,240
like, hey, we should go talk to 
our dates. 

391
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,920
Those are our dates. 
We should go like chat with them

392
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,400
and wow. 
Yeah. 

393
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:34,440
Did the husband know? 
Well, I think he did know on 

394
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,280
some level because he was like, 
no, no, let's not talk to them. 

395
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,960
And turns out Marina's bestie 
was saying the same thing. 

396
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,280
She's like no, those guys are 
lame. 

397
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,400
I don't like that those guys are
stupid. 

398
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,760
Like they're dumb. 
I don't like them. 

399
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,040
And this happened like 3 
different times. 

400
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,520
But literally they're doing the 
same thing. 

401
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,680
Why are they saying you're dumb?
Yeah, well, that's the thing 

402
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,240
though. 
When we did finally meet, the 

403
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,280
first thing my wife said to me 
was you're dumb. 

404
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:04,080
And I was like, I love you. 
I need to prove my this getting 

405
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,520
back to the whole insecurity 
thing, this straight up. 

406
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,200
So when we met, when we actually
finally talked. 

407
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,720
At the at the 4th party we saw 
each other at that's crazy, 

408
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,000
which was like a chill like 
influencer thing on like a 

409
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,600
Tuesday. 
It was just, it was literally 

410
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:23,400
like one of these. 
Like it was like the real cool 

411
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,200
kids of New York kind of vibe 
where it's just people. 

412
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,960
It's just cool people getting 
free drinks at a random spot. 

413
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,000
It's like super sponsored, you 
know, They're like post this, 

414
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,400
post this, you know. 
About these parties, we go to 

415
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:43,160
parties like that anyway. 
And it's easy to get. 

416
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,200
It's easy to go to these parts. 
I mean, you just have to live in

417
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,280
New York. 
Long enough and then go, yeah. 

418
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,800
You know, you just have to know 
the right you know. 

419
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:54,080
Oh, we're just saying. 
I was just saying we're 

420
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,600
influencers is fine. 
OK, yeah, I couldn't doubt. 

421
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:57,760
Were you being sarcastic or were
you? 

422
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,480
Being no, no, no, no, no, no. 
I'm saying like, like I'm 

423
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,320
really, I'm like hyping up my 
producer. 

424
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:02,960
Yeah. 
Hell yeah. 

425
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:07,560
Yeah. 
Oh. 

426
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:11,640
So anyways, so, so we we meet, I
see her and she comes over and 

427
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,800
she goes, is this you? 
And she shows me a picture of 

428
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:19,280
myself on her phone and I go, 
oh, are you a fan? 

429
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,840
And she goes of what? 
I don't get it. 

430
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:29,720
What do you do? 
And I'm like, and, and truly in 

431
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:33,080
that moment, I'm like, I will 
prove my worth to this woman. 

432
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,280
I will show her what I do. 
I will do what I do to her so 

433
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,880
well that she is going to want 
to be with me for the rest of my

434
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,600
life. 
Like it Trick nagging works. 

435
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,400
Yeah. 
Yeah, nagging, I mean. 

436
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:50,360
And of course I'm against like 
the whole pick up artist thing. 

437
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,080
Yeah, but you don't seem like a 
pick up. 

438
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,200
Artist. 
I'm not well, except that no, 

439
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,800
but she. 
Came up to you. 

440
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,640
But here's the thing, she wasn't
even trying to activate me in 

441
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,600
that way. 
She literally looked at me and 

442
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,520
was like, this guy's not even a 
viable romantic partner. 

443
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,560
OK. 
She didn't think I even liked 

444
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,200
girls a little bit. 
How did you get a chance to like

445
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,320
show like what you have? 
To I pursued her relentlessly. 

446
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:15,960
OK, I didn't she's like, I don't
get it. 

447
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,960
What do you do? 
Who cares about what's your 

448
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,720
deal? 
And I was like, I don't know. 

449
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,680
I'm like a pretty big deal DJ 
actually. 

450
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:28,720
Actually Elijah Wood, star of, 
you know, Hollywood movies, 

451
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,480
who's DJ ING this party right 
now with vinyl records. 

452
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:33,040
I taught him how to DJ. 
Wow. 

453
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:37,560
And she's like, oh, Elijah Wood.
She goes, he's in like, Lord of 

454
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:38,760
the Rings, right? 
I go, yeah. 

455
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,120
And she goes, I don't really 
like fantasy. 

456
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:42,640
I'm more like a science fiction 
girl. 

457
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:45,000
What? 
I was like, that's the biggest 

458
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:49,160
flex I can think of. 
That's like, but fantasies and 

459
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,200
science fiction are very 
similar. 

460
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,560
Also that, also that, yeah. 
It's not like I love ROM com, 

461
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,760
it's like. 
Yeah, it's not like it's like, 

462
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,280
oh, I like period ROM com, but 
like not 90s ROM com. 

463
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,680
No, it's like I like ROM com. 
It's the same thing. 

464
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,600
Yeah, so. 
Wait, how did why did she have 

465
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,440
your picture? 
What picture was that? 

466
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,120
Oh, so she had photographed me 
and my partner on the street? 

467
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:14,960
What? 
She's a paparazzi. 

468
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,840
Well, like she just like posted 
it to Instagram, but then 

469
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,920
dragged us like made fun of our 
outfits. 

470
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:23,120
She goes, what are these two 
losers doing dressed like this? 

471
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,840
They look stupid. 
Look at their neon shoes. 

472
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,080
And this was the thing was that 
she goes, do you remember? 

473
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:33,120
Do you remember Charlie Sheen's 
whole meltdown publicly where he

474
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,840
would go, duh. 
Winning. 

475
00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:37,680
No. 
OK, I'm. 

476
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:38,560
I should know. 
No, no, no. 

477
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,680
Anyways, I'm just not American. 
Neither is Marina. 

478
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,040
Really. 
Yeah, she she's from Ukraine. 

479
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,600
She immigrated. 
This is actually, this is OK. 

480
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,840
I'm I'm I'm I'm laying out the 
groundwork for how to start a 

481
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,800
successful relationship, which 
is have an affair. 

482
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,720
With the foreign woman. 
Yeah, but but but A1A great way 

483
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,280
to to keep the mystery of a 
relationship going is marry 

484
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:07,440
somebody who immigrated to this 
country at a young age so that 

485
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,560
there's a cultural blind spot 
and they don't know a lot of the

486
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,280
same pop culture you do, so you 
can introduce them. 

487
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,120
Like, I don't think she'd ever 
seen Back to the Future, which 

488
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:19,880
to me is like one of the most 
important, like, foundational 

489
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,880
films of like my whole 
personality, specifically Back 

490
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,720
to the Future too. 
See. 

491
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:27,720
Great. 
See, we would, we, we would work

492
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:29,280
out. 
I don't know, 'cause I could 

493
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,080
show you. 
Men love explaining things. 

494
00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,280
Men love being like, babe, no, 
no, this part, look at this. 

495
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,640
You gotta watch this part. 
This. 

496
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,480
OK, so they're gonna create a 
temporal paradox here anyways. 

497
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,880
I I think we we can work out 
maybe I don't know. 

498
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:49,040
Yeah, no, I'm just saying, you 
know, if you, if you, I get it, 

499
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,800
if you partner up with somebody 
who's naive to some baseline 

500
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:54,440
elements of your culture, it 
keeps things fresh. 

501
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:58,000
But doesn't it make it harder 
for you to communicate? 

502
00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,200
Like oh man, I wish she gets it,
but she doesn't get it. 

503
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,000
A little bit. 
Sometimes she'll say things that

504
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000
don't make any sense cuz she 
literally is thinking in like 

505
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,160
Russian and she's speaking 
English. 

506
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:09,760
OK. 
I do that sometimes. 

507
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,720
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
But but like Mandarin, Yeah, 

508
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,480
yeah, yeah. 
Like what? 

509
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,200
What's your best? 
Like I'm saying, yeah, did I? 

510
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,240
Do you just hear me say that? 
Aya. 

511
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:23,880
Aya. 
What does that mean? 

512
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,440
Like that means like, like, Oh 
my gosh. 

513
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,080
Oh shit. 
Oh, OK. 

514
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,920
Yeah, yeah, I was doing a lot of
Never mind. 

515
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,920
Well, she, her thing is more 
like she'll say she'll miss, 

516
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,600
she'll do some malapropisms, 
like she'll use the wrong words 

517
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,240
for things. 
Like she'll say like, oh, this 

518
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,120
is like the part of the game 
show where everything goes 

519
00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:43,880
really fast. 
It's the fire round. 

520
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,200
Yeah. 
And I'm like, that's the 

521
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:50,280
lightning round. 
Oh, OK, yeah, OK. 

522
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:52,800
I mean, I see. 
I mean it makes sense it she 

523
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,080
calls it fire on. 
It's not like she calls it ice 

524
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,320
round or like. 
You know what, you're right. 

525
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,320
I'm I'm culturally insensitive 
and I got I'm going to work on 

526
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,600
that. 
Yeah, it's OK, you American men.

527
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,720
So wait, tell us about it. 
I I want to know what's what's 

528
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,720
keeping the, you know, marriage 
fresh. 

529
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,960
Oh yeah, so besides being able 
to show her all the movies I 

530
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,840
loved growing up and she's never
seen them. 

531
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:19,040
Like mansplaining. 
Yeah, mansplaining. 

532
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:23,240
OK, this isn't Honestly, I don't
know what's wrong with her, but 

533
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:26,560
she does love to hear me just 
talk for very long stretches of 

534
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:27,920
time. 
She loves you. 

535
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:32,480
Yeah, I guess. 
I guess we love each other, Jim,

536
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,800
look into that. 
Does she do you listen to her? 

537
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,400
Because I know she also has a 
podcast. 

538
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,480
She I don't listen to her 
podcast. 

539
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,680
Oh my God, what I've did You see
that look on my producer's face?

540
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,960
Listen, there are too many. 
There are too many podcasts out 

541
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:52,840
there. 
And you're not first listening 

542
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:56,080
to your wife's podcast? 
I mean, her podcast is about 

543
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,720
stuff. 
I mean, wow. 

544
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,880
Podcast sucks that's what you're
trying to. 

545
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,520
Think no, it's great. 
It's great. 

546
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,600
I've you. 
Just don't like the topics. 

547
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,240
No, I think I've like helped 
her. 

548
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,000
I mean, I've written like music 
for it and like, I definitely, I

549
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:13,000
definitely edited an episode or 
two for her. 

550
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,800
But yeah, her, her her podcast 
is about like about how to make 

551
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,840
it in the art world. 
OK, OK. 

552
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,680
It's the artist advisory 
hotline, you should check it 

553
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:23,680
out. 
Everybody should listen. 

554
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,480
Exactly. 
It's a lot of like. 

555
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,760
Artist what is it? 
You know what? 

556
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,080
I don't know if that's the exact
thing and I should really. 

557
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,560
Well, we'll link it down below. 
Yeah, link down below. 

558
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:39,200
Yes, the artist advisory, 
although she's just rebranded to

559
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,160
Manifesting for Artists. 
Manifesting. 

560
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:45,440
Which abbreviated as MFA like 
master of fine. 

561
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:46,000
Art. 
Yeah. 

562
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,120
Yeah, I love that. 
Yeah. 

563
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,280
Do you? 
Do you believe in manifesting? 

564
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:56,440
Yes, I have to. 
I'm required to. 

565
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:59,280
Because you are. 
Because I want to stay married 

566
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,680
to my wife. 
I Yeah, I believe in 

567
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,000
manifesting, sure. 
There's so much love between you

568
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,800
and your wife. 
I'm so jealous. 

569
00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:12,560
I feel like thank you. 
I feel jealous honestly I I 

570
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:16,240
receive jealousy towards me as 
like one of the greatest gifts. 

571
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,160
OK. 
Being, being, having people be 

572
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,120
jealous of you is like a great 
feeling. 

573
00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:24,320
It is. 
It is, but they don't usually 

574
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,520
tell you and sometimes they do 
bad things because they are 

575
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,200
jealous. 
Sometimes it comes up comes out 

576
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,880
as hate. 
Sure. 

577
00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,520
I mean, Marina's, she's always 
talking about how her family is 

578
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:40,080
obsessed with jealousy. 
They have all these like old 

579
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:45,560
world, old world superstitions 
about how like basically in a 

580
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,800
nutshell, it's like you can't 
tell somebody how good you're 

581
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:51,000
doing because their jealousy 
will put the evil eye on you. 

582
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,120
I feel like I have I should have
her on the podcast. 

583
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,520
You maybe should just have her 
on the OK. 

584
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,320
I think you should. 
I would. 

585
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:58,440
She would look great in this 
bed. 

586
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,160
Really. 
Yeah, No, I agree. 

587
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,440
She would look great. 
I might reach out to her. 

588
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:05,080
Yeah, please do. 
Yeah. 

589
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,000
You were saying? 
What was I saying? 

590
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,720
I want to know more about Wait, 
I was going to ask, do you have 

591
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,440
identify more as a DJ or a 
comedian? 

592
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,360
Because I feel like you're you 
keep talking about DJ. 

593
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,920
You never on this pod. 
You haven't talked about being a

594
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,200
comedian yet. 
That's interesting. 

595
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,160
I. 
And you're like, oh, I'm such a 

596
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,360
big deal in the DJ world, you 
haven't. 

597
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,080
Wait, wait, wait, wait. 
I just want to make clear I 

598
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:34,120
didn't just say just now I'm a 
big deal in the DJ world. 

599
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:37,880
I said that to my wife 15 years 
ago when I was trying to seduce 

600
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:39,560
her. 
I was like, I'm a big. 

601
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,840
I would never say that now. 
I'm very mature now and I would 

602
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,560
never say I'm a big deal. 
You're not a big deal. 

603
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,800
I'm kind of a big deal. 
Right. 

604
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,840
That's why, that's why I want 
to, I want you to come here. 

605
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,800
She, you know, she straight up 
told me we were, we'd been 

606
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:58,680
seeing each other for a little 
while and we had literally just 

607
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,880
enjoyed each other. 
We just had sex. 

608
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:06,960
I don't know. 
I don't know how I was trying 

609
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,280
and I'm like, that actually 
sounds worse. 

610
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,320
We just enjoyed each other. 
That sounds horrible, that. 

611
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:15,520
Sounds very old school. 
Yeah, and literally, like, 

612
00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:19,680
within moments of sort of laying
back and like, lighting up 

613
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:22,200
cigarettes or whatever, she 
goes. 

614
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:27,960
You know, I only date musicians.
That's why you have to go hard 

615
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:32,760
on DJs. 
And I was like, I was like, are 

616
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,480
we not dating? 
And then I was like, well, I 

617
00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,040
guess we're not like we just, 
we're just hooking up. 

618
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,520
Like in my mind, I spiraled 
because in my mind I was like, 

619
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,320
wait, I guess. 
And I'm like, no, we're not 

620
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,200
dating, dude. 
Like you don't take her out on 

621
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,360
dates like you guys are. 
We're you're just having a very 

622
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,480
illicit affair. 
Yeah, and you're married. 

623
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:54,960
And I'm married, so I was like, 
I was like, I was like, well, 

624
00:30:55,600 --> 00:31:00,520
DJs are like musicians, right? 
And she like she just laughed 

625
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,800
and said no. 
That's harsh. 

626
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:08,680
Yeah, and I guess that's the 
whole, that's the whole 

627
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:10,840
anecdote, but. 
What? 

628
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,160
When did you start becoming? 
Oh, I know what I was. 

629
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:16,480
I know I was then going to say 
no, you I I wanted to say, but I

630
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:18,720
caught myself. 
I wanted to say I'm a success. 

631
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:23,000
I'm like a working DJ, like I 
make a living as a DJI bet these

632
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,440
musicians you've been hanging 
out with, it's like a side 

633
00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:28,680
hustle. 
And then I I stopped myself 

634
00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:30,640
because I was like, I'm dug such
a hole. 

635
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:32,480
I am not, you know. 
Why? 

636
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,680
I feel like that'll be a such a 
like. 

637
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,720
No, because fiscal 
responsibility isn't sexy. 

638
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:40,080
I guess. 
Saying like, well, I actually 

639
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,560
earn a living. 
Those guys are just following 

640
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,080
their dreams. 
Yeah. 

641
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,080
It's actually sexier to follow 
your dreams. 

642
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,360
I think it's sexier to have 
fiscal responsibility. 

643
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:52,880
I don't know, to each of their 
own, sorry. 

644
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,400
There's a hair. 
Yeah, I just, I was just gonna 

645
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,000
do that, and then I realized 
it's definitely not on camera. 

646
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,520
Yeah, that's OK. 
It could be on this one it. 

647
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,840
Could be OK, but good. 
Thank you. 

648
00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,040
And so you haven't, you still 
haven't talked about being a 

649
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:08,680
comedian. 
I just, I guess you just hate 

650
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:10,040
being a comedian. 
I do. 

651
00:32:10,040 --> 00:32:13,800
I hate it so much. 
No, being a comedian is great. 

652
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:14,800
I love it. 
I. 

653
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:18,120
Feel offended? 
You're a good comedian. 

654
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,880
Aren't you a good comedian? 
Yeah, but I I just wanted to 

655
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,920
guess you up. 
You're a good I went to go see 

656
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:26,840
you perform a while ago, right? 
I kind of forgot that you 

657
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:28,480
actually saw me before. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

658
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:33,320
And I and I definitely. 
Oh, do we need to? 

659
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,120
No. 
No, no, keep going. 

660
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,800
I definitely, no offense, but I 
always, I always assume. 

661
00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:41,240
I always assume it's gonna be 
bad. 

662
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:45,120
Oh my God, when someone's like, 
hey, come see me do comedy, the 

663
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,200
my baseline assumption is it's 
not going to be good. 

664
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,360
Has it always been bad? 
No, I'm usually pleasantly 

665
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,720
surprised. 
I think this also comes from 

666
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:58,920
like before, this is a, this is 
a, this is an attitude I have 

667
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:03,520
that predates being in comedy, 
where I would sometimes go see 

668
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,960
friends, do comedy shows. 
And it was never good. 

669
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:09,560
OK, yeah, this is before you 
started doing comedy. 

670
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,040
Yeah, and now I have good taste 
and I know who's good. 

671
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,880
And yeah. 
No, actually Harkness produces 

672
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:18,480
the best shows. 
Like honestly, like I've never 

673
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,360
laughed so hard. 
The other like the family style 

674
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:24,760
show and all of the connections 
you have, like they're all 

675
00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:28,560
they're so like they're such 
good comedians and they're like,

676
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,440
you would never think that you 
would see them at this show 

677
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,440
cause like it's like in a small 
place like a art gallery or like

678
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,720
a little bar like in the cellar.
But the line up is like fire. 

679
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,200
The line up is fire. 
The venues are always terrible. 

680
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:43,840
I I hear what you I can read 
between the lines. 

681
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,720
Yeah. 
You would never think that the 

682
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,080
you would get such a good line 
up at such a shitty show. 

683
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,600
Yeah. 
No, but yeah, yeah, I'm not. 

684
00:33:51,960 --> 00:33:54,280
I'm trying to hype you up. 
Yeah, I think it's working. 

685
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,440
Yeah. 
No, I love, I love doing stand 

686
00:33:58,440 --> 00:33:59,120
up. 
I love. 

687
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:03,000
I think that stand up and D Jing
is really similar. 

688
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:06,320
Yeah, OK. 
Not the venue is bad, the venue 

689
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,239
just not at comedy club. 
It's just what I expected at the

690
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:13,280
venues are still good venues. 
They're not that the the spot 

691
00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:18,400
where we were doing the Family 
Family style show got flooded. 

692
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:23,040
Last time we did a show there, 
there was actually a flood and 

693
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,360
we almost had to to cancel the 
show. 

694
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:29,639
Well, I'm glad I saw it before 
it flooded. 

695
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,239
Yeah, we had when we almost had 
to cancel the show and instead 

696
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,719
we just did it upstairs on like 
street level. 

697
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,000
OK. 
And then. 

698
00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:44,199
But then like an unhoused woman 
wandered into the show and 

699
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,000
actually the comic who was on 
dealt with it really well. 

700
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:51,440
He had an incredible amount of 
empathy and actually like, kind 

701
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:53,960
of chatted with her. 
And it was a big, very sweet. 

702
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:59,160
Like she definitely, you know, 
was not in the best mindset and,

703
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:03,000
you know, oh, manifesting, 
that's what we were talking 

704
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:03,640
about. 
Right. 

705
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,680
But he was really sweet with her
and and the show actually went 

706
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,600
off kind of nicely. 
I thought you were going to 

707
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,800
start talking about manifesting.
That's what we were talking 

708
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:18,360
about, and I feel as though I do
believe in it. 

709
00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,120
You know what I believe in is 
Feng Shui. 

710
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:22,600
Say that again. 
Feng Shui. 

711
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:26,520
Feng Shui am I? 
No. 

712
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,640
No, no, say the first time you 
said it. 

713
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,720
Feng shui. 
Yeah, I think. 

714
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:31,360
Is that right? 
Yeah. 

715
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,160
OK, OK. 
That's, that's what that's the 

716
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:36,000
other thing my wife does. 
Oh, right. 

717
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,200
She she kind of did that as like
a side. 

718
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,720
Here's the thing, when you get 
like a side hustle, that becomes

719
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,560
a job. 
You then find more side hustles.

720
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:49,720
So she, she's like, she show 
here's the thing, she's sort of 

721
00:35:49,720 --> 00:35:53,840
living the dream, being like a 
life coach for artists, like 

722
00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,920
helping them navigate the art 
world because she ran a gallery 

723
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,960
for years and she was like kind 
of fed up with the commercial 

724
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:01,640
art world and actually wanted to
get out of it. 

725
00:36:02,760 --> 00:36:05,760
But then she realized that she 
could start a company that would

726
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:09,600
help artists navigate this toxic
landscape that she was so sick 

727
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:11,320
of. 
And she was like, going to help 

728
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:17,480
them avoid the pitfalls she'd 
seen artists get into, which is 

729
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:22,920
sort of like, that's like a fun 
side hustle podcast thing, like 

730
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:24,440
women helping women vibes, 
Right. 

731
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,840
But then that that blew up and 
became her, like, main her like,

732
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,440
full job. 
So then she had to go and, of 

733
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:35,200
course, get like, certified in 
like, Reiki healing Feng shui. 

734
00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:37,960
And now the Feng shui thing is 
taking off. 

735
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,480
Like she's flying around the 
world to do people's like, 

736
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:43,440
corporate offices and what, 
Yeah, she like, just got back 

737
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:47,120
from LA where she was doing 
this. 

738
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,800
And honestly, this is a great 
hustle. 

739
00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:55,160
So she, she just done someone's 
like home or their office. 

740
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:58,280
And it must have been their home
because she goes, I've got to go

741
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:00,160
back. 
And I was like, why did you not 

742
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,560
do it right? 
Didn't, did you not put the fire

743
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:06,360
energy in the correct corner? 
And she said, no, I did it so 

744
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:10,520
well that they sold their home. 
They got a raise and sold their 

745
00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:11,920
home, and now they're getting a 
new home. 

746
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,280
And I'm like, that was a month 
ago. 

747
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,360
So. 
So she's just like, yeah. 

748
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,800
Wait, can she come back here? 
I need to get her on the pod. 

749
00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:21,280
I mean, she's I. 
Need some advice. 

750
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:24,960
She has done this. 
She did this for another friend 

751
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,560
of ours who was having like a 
dry spell, hadn't gone on a date

752
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,400
in ages. 
She went in, like, moved around 

753
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:33,040
a few things in her bedroom. 
I think the main thing was that 

754
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,840
she had, like, a dead plant in 
her in her romance direction. 

755
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:39,920
And so the plant was sort of 
like struggling to stay alive. 

756
00:37:39,960 --> 00:37:41,520
And she's like, you need this 
out of here. 

757
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,800
It's not it's, you know, it's 
blocking your, like, romance 

758
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,800
from coming into your life. 
That. 

759
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,720
And she also had a photograph of
herself on a beach alone. 

760
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,680
And she's like, don't have a 
photo of yourself alone if you 

761
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,080
want to be with somebody. 
Yeah. 

762
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,200
And then, and then, and then 
this girl got a boyfriend like 

763
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,440
the next week and they're still 
together. 

764
00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:03,000
This was like years ago. 
Oh my God, what? 

765
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:07,040
I definitely have to have her 
here on the pod sometime. 

766
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:12,720
If yeah, I'll reach Outback her.
I well, you just sent her a 

767
00:38:12,720 --> 00:38:15,200
picture of. 
The I did, I sent her a picture 

768
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:19,480
of the bed, which honestly feels
ominous, especially without us 

769
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:21,560
in it. 
What does ominous mean? 

770
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:29,240
Oh, bad. 
Oh, like, like, like spooky. 

771
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:33,600
Like, oh, OK, OK. 
Like, like if you're alone in 

772
00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:37,280
the woods and you hear a sound 
and you're like, oh, what's 

773
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,280
that? 
Is that a, is that a wolf? 

774
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:42,120
Is that a murderer? 
Because I just feel like this 

775
00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:47,320
bed, it looks like a, you know, 
I was like, I'm about to get in 

776
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,600
this bed. 
We're going to record a little 

777
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:52,200
thing in this bed. 
All cameras on. 

778
00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:57,320
US yeah, yeah, it's just you 
know, has sort of an adult film 

779
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,360
vibe to. 
It Oh, it does. 

780
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,360
What maybe that's that's just, 
that's just what I think. 

781
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,640
Of when I see. 
Cameras pointed at a bed. 

782
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:09,920
It's you, I think it's you. 
So have you went down and warm 

783
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:13,640
it? 
Have I acted in adult films? 

784
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:17,600
No, but my father did what? 
What was the in Canada when he 

785
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:19,600
was dodging the draft? 
He was in an adult movie. 

786
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:23,120
I haven't seen it. 
It's like on film. 

787
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,640
It's like from the 70s. 
That's crazy. 

788
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,480
Yeah, he was dodged. 
He dodged the draft, went to 

789
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:31,840
live in Canada. 
That's crazy information to just

790
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,080
like casually dropping. 
Well, it was. 

791
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:39,520
Well, what were you going to ask
you? 

792
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:41,800
You were gonna ask about my oral
sex technique, I think. 

793
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:42,600
What were you gonna say? 
I. 

794
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:48,560
Was gonna ask, like, what do you
before 'cause I when Michael was

795
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:51,520
here, the first episode, I was 
like, if you're a gay guy, 

796
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:56,520
you've never like dated a woman.
You probably have never seen a 

797
00:39:56,520 --> 00:40:01,160
pussy because as a woman who's a
lesbian, you probably have seen 

798
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:02,720
like, Dicks on subways and 
stuff. 

799
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,640
It's like, yeah, but. 
But like for you before you like

800
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,680
I guess started dating your now 
wife. 

801
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,880
Did you have experience? 
Oh yeah, yeah. 

802
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,000
Yeah, Oh yeah, she. 
That's the thing. 

803
00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:29,560
I've always been, what's the 
word, you know, I've always been

804
00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:31,320
bisexual. 
OK, I was trying to think of a 

805
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,440
funnier word. 
I was trying to think of funnier

806
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,240
euphemism. 
I was gonna be like, I've 

807
00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:40,000
always, I've always liked both 
types of chocolate, you know? 

808
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:44,240
I don't, you know, and of 
course, there are not only two, 

809
00:40:45,240 --> 00:40:46,440
right? 
There's many types of chocolate.

810
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,360
Exactly. 
So you've been. 

811
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:53,400
Only I actually some of my I've 
had very strong flirtations like

812
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:55,520
with lesbian women or like 
masked. 

813
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,280
Lesbian women. 
Yeah, I've had a couple of, 

814
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:03,240
well, a lot of, as you know from
my stand up, OK, I had that joke

815
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:07,480
about how I'm in college, I was 
a an upstanding member of the 

816
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:10,480
lesbian community because I was 
the last guy a lot of women 

817
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,880
would sleep with before they 
fully committed to the 'cause, 

818
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:14,800
right. 
Yeah. 

819
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:18,160
Right, that's true. 
Wait, you're the last guy? 

820
00:41:18,160 --> 00:41:20,720
I'm the I'm the last guy. 
A lot of women have slept. 

821
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:23,440
With SO, you're either very, 
very good that they don't think 

822
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:27,040
any men can top you, or you're 
very, very bad that they don't 

823
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,120
want to deal with men anymore. 
That and that's what I say to 

824
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,800
myself. 
I say, you know what? 

825
00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:33,280
They got the best. 
They're like, why even try? 

826
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,240
Why even try to compete? 
Oh, I don't know, I'm gay now. 

827
00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:43,560
No, I mean, I think that, I mean
no, it's a very, it's very true.

828
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,360
Like I'm, I think I'm the last 
guy that like I can, I can name 

829
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,920
like 5 different women I was 
with who afterwards were like. 

830
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:54,000
What's what is it about you and 
your wife hasn't found that out 

831
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,160
about herself yet? 
She hasn't. 

832
00:41:56,600 --> 00:41:58,840
No, she went down. 
She's she's straight. 

833
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:01,680
OK, she's totally. 
Straight and she told me fuck 

834
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,360
yeah, sorry. 
She God, no. 

835
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:05,280
You know what? 
No dope. 

836
00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:08,520
That's funny. 
I do people, I think people 

837
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,480
think that we're swingers all 
the time. 

838
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,800
Like we often get this. 
People want to get involved with

839
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,680
us. 
They're like they they're like 

840
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,960
you guys are Polly, right? 
You guys are like open, right? 

841
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,320
You guys like fuck around. 
I'm like, no, we are actually 

842
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:24,760
very monogamous. 
Wait, this actually, yeah, I, I,

843
00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:27,400
you kind of give off that vibe. 
I don't know what, I don't know 

844
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,320
what it is. 
I don't know what it is. 

845
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:32,640
No, my my wife is this. 
Am I being like judgmental for 

846
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,160
thinking that? 
For thinking that we're 

847
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,040
swingers, yeah. 
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised 

848
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:40,040
if you say it, but I wouldn't 
assume that about you. 

849
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:41,520
Oh, you. 
Oh, you wouldn't assume it. 

850
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,120
I wouldn't assume. 
OK, good. 

851
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:45,600
Don't. 
I hope people don't assume that.

852
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:49,040
Well, it's also because I know 
you from the beginning and you 

853
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,000
were talking about you were a 
monogamist, and that's your. 

854
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,760
Well, yeah. 
That's my oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 

855
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,640
yeah, yeah. 
Well, I do think that. 

856
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,120
I do think that I do think that 
monogamy is unnatural. 

857
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,560
We're not supposed to be a 
monogamist. 

858
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:06,120
And that's why it's my kink. 
Should I start? 

859
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:08,000
Should I have started the show 
with this? 

860
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,240
Maybe. 
Would this have been a better 

861
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:11,880
way to start the show? 
It's OK, I can. 

862
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:14,000
There's a magic tool, it's 
called Editing. 

863
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,440
Software. 
No, we're not. 

864
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:18,280
We're not designed to be 
monogamous. 

865
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:24,880
Like nothing about human truly 
like we're we're not supposed to

866
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:26,560
be this way. 
Like everything about modern 

867
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:30,800
society is wrong. 
Like modern industrial and 

868
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,600
Agricultural Society, like 
organized the way that it's, 

869
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:42,440
it's, it's totally backwards. 
We for, you know, thousands of 

870
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:49,880
years humans lived communally. 
We raised all the all the elders

871
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,160
lived in one Hut, all the 
children lived in another Hut, 

872
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,040
Right. 
Yeah. 

873
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,800
And we would like there was no 
concept even of like lineage 

874
00:43:56,800 --> 00:44:00,440
like this is my child or your 
child The only reason that we 

875
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:03,320
got obsessed with. 
Yeah, cuz we had we can only 

876
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:04,600
fuck one child. 
What is that? 

877
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:06,040
We can only fuck one child. 
Yeah. 

878
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,160
The only reason we got obsessed 
with that was because we, we 

879
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:16,680
stopped being nomadic hunter 
gatherers and we, we settled 

880
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:20,880
down and started doing 
agriculture in one place and 

881
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:26,000
rulers needed a way to tax us 
and we so then we needed a way 

882
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,480
to pass on private property to 
our offspring. 

883
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,920
And then all of a sudden it 
became very important whose kid 

884
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,080
was whose. 
OK, but what does that have to 

885
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,160
do with monogamy? 
Well, I think so. 

886
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,840
Monogamy is like a byproduct of 
that, right? 

887
00:44:40,240 --> 00:44:42,920
Like we're not naturally meant 
to be like in one place. 

888
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,440
We're meant to be like the, the 
Native Americans who like 

889
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,040
roamed, who like, practice a 
form of agriculture, like 

890
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,080
subsistence agriculture, where 
they would they would like 

891
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:55,040
gather things from the earth in 
one spot and then leave that 

892
00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,400
area and let it replenish itself
naturally over seasons. 

893
00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,960
And then just, yeah, fuck 
around. 

894
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,400
That's the side. 
The side effect is yeah, yeah, 

895
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,000
absolutely. 
Just so in the same way that 

896
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,520
they were sort of nomadically 
being polyamorous with the Earth

897
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:11,040
being like, sometimes we'll take
fruit from this patch, sometimes

898
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,400
we'll take fruit from that 
patch. 

899
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,320
Poly wait, wait, say, say that 
line again with the earth. 

900
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,720
Sort of like Poly agricultural, 
I guess. 

901
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:23,520
Yeah, they're sort of like, 
yeah, they're like they're like,

902
00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:27,720
you know, they're letting the 
flowers get fertilized in this 

903
00:45:27,720 --> 00:45:29,640
area and then they're letting 
the flowers get fertilized 

904
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,240
there. 
I mean here. 

905
00:45:32,240 --> 00:45:39,320
OK, look, women can have 
multiple orgasms, right? 

906
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,360
Yeah, right. 
This is true, Yeah. 

907
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:48,320
Yeah, yeah, she's naughty. 
OK, men fall asleep after one. 

908
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,560
Not all men. 
I don't know. 

909
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,600
I don't know about you. 
I mean not, yeah, I mean, if 

910
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,040
you, if we want to get back to 
how I impressed my wife that 

911
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:59,000
first date. 
Yeah, sorry. 

912
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:01,480
Go ahead. 
But my point is though is that 

913
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,040
women are clearly meant to have 
multiple partners. 

914
00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:08,080
Oh, thank you. 
Yeah. 

915
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:11,280
Wait, why? 
Because like you're. 

916
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:14,560
Why can't I just have like 1 
very skillful partner? 

917
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:15,840
Or yeah, sure. 
Or that. 

918
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:16,960
Yeah. 
Or that. 

919
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:20,600
I'm just saying that, that I 
don't think it's natural. 

920
00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:23,760
Monogamy isn't natural, but it 
is my kink and it is what I like

921
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,600
and I'm really into it. 
But it's definitely not. 

922
00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:30,480
I can't. 
I yeah, I understand the not 

923
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:35,000
natural part, but I was also 
thinking to myself like if I 

924
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:38,760
really, I'm really into one 
person, like I always thought, 

925
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,160
oh, maybe I'm Polly or I like, I
can like fall in love with 

926
00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:45,360
multiple people at the same time
and like them equally. 

927
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,320
But recently I feel like if I 
like one person, like really, 

928
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:53,120
really much, like so much, I 
wouldn't want to see other 

929
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:54,680
people. 
Yeah. 

930
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:57,040
Well, yeah. 
And that's how I feel, yes. 

931
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,520
Yeah, so and you think we're 
outliers? 

932
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:06,720
I think that the institution of,
I think that the contemporary 

933
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:12,280
institution of monogamy and 
matrimony is a, is part of the 

934
00:47:12,280 --> 00:47:19,640
larger hoax of like hegemonic 
patriarchy that and like that 

935
00:47:19,640 --> 00:47:23,360
upholds capitalism. 
And I think it's wrong. 

936
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,600
But you're not doing the right 
thing. 

937
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:30,640
But it is also my choice and 
what I like to do with my wife. 

938
00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:31,760
I know. 
Well, it's. 

939
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:35,160
Sweet, OK, I wake up in the 
middle of the night sometimes 

940
00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:36,840
and I'm like, who is this person
next to me? 

941
00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,160
And I'm like, oh, my wife. 
And I'm so happy. 

942
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,560
It's like, what's going on with 
you? 

943
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:47,400
How's your dating life? 
Well, we're out of touch. 

944
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:53,680
Oh no, I can tell you after. 
Oh, OK, I see. 

945
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,840
I see. 
Yeah, You get me to open up like

946
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,920
a book and then. 
Sure. 

947
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:02,800
I'll tell you why after we 
start, we stop recording but. 

948
00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,440
Are you, are you secretly like, 
married to like a noble back in 

949
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:09,760
the old country? 
No, OK. 

950
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:11,000
Wait. 
You paused, though. 

951
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,400
I was like, Oh my God. 
Like I was trying to think what 

952
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:15,680
is a noble? 
Not a noble. 

953
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:18,240
I I don't know why I said noble.
That's very archaic of me. 

954
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:21,760
I mean, like, yeah, like, are 
you fleeing from, like, a 

955
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:25,000
wealthy husband who's, like, 
who's like, trying to track you 

956
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,920
down? 
Why am I fleeing from a wealthy 

957
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:28,640
husband? 
I'm trying to find a wealthy. 

958
00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:32,840
No, I'm kidding. 
No, I thank you for this very 

959
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,120
fruitful, very intelligent 
episode. 

960
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:39,800
Like we I haven't heard the word
hegemony in like years. 

961
00:48:40,920 --> 00:48:43,800
Oh, I, I listen, I almost didn't
say it because you didn't know 

962
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,040
what ominous meant, but I'm 
glad. 

963
00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:47,960
I'm glad. 
I I'm glad I didn't stand the 

964
00:48:47,960 --> 00:48:50,880
way. 
No, I I know my words. 

965
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:53,920
Hell yeah. 
Not just not the sometimes. 

966
00:48:54,000 --> 00:49:00,440
Yeah, I just learned about like 
twink is not like a slur. 

967
00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:06,360
No, I guess twink isn't a slur. 
Yeah, I thought it was a slur. 

968
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,880
I heard someone say it. 
Interesting. 

969
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,160
You can definitely say it 
derogatively. 

970
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,200
Yeah, you can say it 
dismissively. 

971
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:14,880
Yeah, but of course, but I can 
say it. 

972
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:16,040
You. 
Oh, you can say it. 

973
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:17,400
Yeah. 
Yeah, you can say it. 

974
00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:24,160
OK, I mean, using twink as a 
slur goes back to like 

975
00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:29,880
reinforcing like patriarchy and 
misogyny, OK. 

976
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,640
Because the way that like a gay 
man might call a twink, what 

977
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,080
might say, say twink 
dismissively is caught up in 

978
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:42,360
like an idea that like 
femininity is less desirable 

979
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:45,440
than masculinity. 
And that the idea that like the 

980
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:48,480
the the gay man who is 
penetrated during sex is the 

981
00:49:48,480 --> 00:49:51,360
female, whereas the gay man who 
does the penetrating is the 

982
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,760
male. 
And then they're, it's like, 

983
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,640
it's like trickle down misogyny.
Are you a top or a bottom? 

984
00:49:57,360 --> 00:50:03,560
I'm versed in all things babe. 
Wow, you're like such a like 

985
00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:06,800
you're all all compassing. 
This is what I meant to say 

986
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,040
before when I couldn't think of 
the word bisexual. 

987
00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:10,680
I'm a renaissance man. 
Wow. 

988
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:17,760
Renaissance meaning I know the. 
Meaning versatile. 

989
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,320
Very well-rounded. 
All, all size, yeah. 

990
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:24,400
Well-rounded because the 
Renaissance is when we 

991
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:29,440
discovered the Earth was round. 
I don't think that's true. 

992
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,400
I think that I think that 
ancient peoples actually knew it

993
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:34,120
was round. 
I thought it was like. 

994
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:37,600
OK, it's ovoid. 
Are you going to talk about the 

995
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,360
fact that the Earth is actually 
egg shaped? 

996
00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:41,040
No, no. 
Does she not round? 

997
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,600
It's actually kind of uneven. 
It's actually flat. 

998
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:49,320
Oh, it's one of those podcasts. 
Can't believe I I found AI, 

999
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,880
can't believe I got a round 
earth person on my podcast. 

1000
00:50:53,000 --> 00:50:57,160
Damn round Earth again. 
Well, thank you. 

1001
00:50:57,160 --> 00:50:59,040
Yeah, of course. 
This is great. 

1002
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,520
This is great. 
I had a very great time. 

1003
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,360
Thank you. 
I'm I'll make sure to send my 

1004
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:05,960
wife into your bed, please. 
Yeah.