People sending me like a meme, they think that they're so,
they're so funny. They're like, oh if, if it's
cheaper to hire a woman doctor, why wouldn't they all hire women
doctors? I was like, Oh my God, flames on
the side of my face. I'm like, that is enraging me.
And it reminds me of a conversation that I had with my
ex where I was like, it is so ridiculous.
Like how few women directors are nominated for Oscars and all
this stuff. And he was like, well, maybe
they're not making as many movies.
And I'm just like, yeah, because people aren't hiring as many
women directed. Like it's, it's all from
stemming from the same issue where it's like we are not given
giving women these opportunities or they are, you know, supposed
to be the primary caregiver. And so, yeah, maybe they don't
go out and get that medical degree because we're assuming
that they're going to stay home and with the kids, so.
Putting in so much emotional and unpaid work and they're that's
not recognized. And when they are doing the paid
work, they're not recognized either because there's not that
much women presentation in the male dominant field.
Yeah, they're not. So, Brid, what's keeping you up
tonight? What's keeping me up tonight is
women who stay way too long with men who don't deserve it.
So I think my thesis is dump his ass.
Like, that's it. Yeah, that's it.
It's dump his ass. You remember Britney Spears wore
that iconic shirt? That's a dump him.
That is, that is my message to so many women, so many young
women in this. Country.
Is that your message to yourself younger?
Yes, I'm like get out of there sooner.
Wait, what's your story? I want to know more about your
story for the for the viewers who are not familiar.
With it? Absolutely.
If you don't mind. No, this is, this is what I'm
here for. I will say I went through a
string of bad boyfriends and then got into a very toxic
relationship that I Oh my God. You didn't learn your lesson.
I did not learn my lesson and I wish I could go back in time and
tell my younger self that it's not weird that I got into a
really bad relationship and I ended up marrying the guy.
That's how bad it is. Yeah, you know when you say way
too long sunk cost fallacy. Don't don't fall for it.
You know, you thought. Exactly.
Oh my God, so smart you've learned.
I've learned. I've learned from my mistakes.
Yeah. You think you put in too much
time and you're like, I need to stay and you don't.
And kind of more importantly, I don't think that you should be
arguing in your relationship. And I know that that's a hot
take, but. You don't.
You shouldn't be arguing. I don't think you're arguing.
What if there's an argument in the relationship?
So dump his ass. Yeah, dump his ass.
But I I really feel like I should be a professor.
Like I really feel like I am. I have like a master's degree in
bad relationships. You actually, No, I should, I
think I should get an honorary degree from NYU like Taylor
Swift. Yeah.
Yeah, but here's the thing. I'm in a new relationship now.
Congrats. Thank you.
Yeah. And we don't argue at all.
We disagree. OK, what's the difference?
I think the difference is arguing is like the type of
arguments that I was in. Were these like loud all out
brawls? OK, where?
Wait, that's not healthy. No, it's not healthy at all.
But I think that a lot of people stay because they a maybe get
addicted to that toxicity. Some people find it really
exciting to fight and I don't know why.
Well, sometimes. Well, now you're thinking of.
No, I'm thinking about it. You're like, I love makeup sex
and that's fun. After that is a big fight.
Probably. Maybe that's why people argue
it's for the makeup sex. Maybe.
Yeah, it's so not worth it. No, it's not sorry.
You're what's your point? What's?
Your Oh, no, totally. So I think I think that, Oh,
wait, yeah. A, like you, you might be like,
really addicted to it or, B, do you think that that is
acceptable because maybe you grew up in a home where yelling
was really acceptable? Me.
Yeah. And so you let someone yell at
you. And this isn't just for hetero
relationships, but I do find more so as a bisexual woman,
that I was being yelled at by men, specifically one man.
And he was yelling a lot. And he was, you know, poking
holes in the drywall or punching holes in the drywall and.
No. It's OK.
Hey, look at look at where I am now.
I'm in this beautiful pink bedroom.
Look at. That, and he's not.
And he's not. Yeah.
And I'm in a healthy relationship now.
And I feel like that is the point.
Oh, my God. Speaking of, do you want to tell
me lies? No, wait, tell me.
Tell me lies. Tell me lies.
Yeah. You're like, tell me about it.
Tell me about it. I want, I actually want to send
this message out. The women of of tell me lies.
If you were with a man like Steven Run, you do not need to
stay with that guy. That's that is the prototype.
I'm like that kind of man. He's like this manipulative
lying. What's toxic?
That is the guy. Is that something that reminds
you of the bad boyfriends? Yes, he reminds me, my
ex-husband. He came on screen and I was
like, Oh my God. That is the way that he lies,
the ease with which he lies. He lies like breathing.
Is there an example like from yourself or from the show if you
don't mind sharing? Totally.
Oh my God no. Well here's the thing.
My ex-husband. He lied and cheated in a lot of
crazy creative ways. More than one time.
Oh yeah, totally. But I stayed because I was
dropped. You know, you just feel like you
can't get out. But the last straw was that he
was exchanging nudes with a ball on Instagram.
What? Oh my God, what?
Yeah, really. You know, sometimes they're
really convincing looking and I have to give them that.
That's like pre AI, Yeah. Pre AI, Yeah, that's crazy.
This is in 2023, OK, So it's before they got really good.
Yeah, and that wasn't even AI. Like, how did he get into it?
Like he believed that it was a real person.
Yeah, and he was talking to her for, I guess a while and then,
yeah, really crazy. Problem that sounds like like.
Boomers, I know. I don't know, sorry for calling
out boomers. Do not be sorry for tearing down
that man. He deserves every single time I
mentioned it, but you know that And then like this guy on the
show that I'm sorry, I keep talking about this show, but I'm
just really obsessed with. It right now tell.
Me lies, but you know this guy like, you know, lie about like
who he saw that day and like who he was talking to and he was
talking to an ex and stuff like that.
And it's like, oh, that was just so classic.
And you don't have to put up with that.
No, you don't say yeah, I well, what if you OK, Yeah, yeah, my
my hypotheticals. My turn on that is that you do
it to the other person to for revenge.
You give revenge. You like sleep with his best
friend, Yeah. You like lie and like you, I
don't know, you mastered that way of lying like, you know,
like, just like breathing. I'm like 2 wrongs don't make it
right and you got to get out, you got to dump him like right,
you just have to leave and. That's the healthy way.
More mature. Way that is the healthy way.
And I feel like I don't look back like you go and you don't
you don't even look at the rear view.
Like I have no regrets. And so I hope that someone
listening to this is like, Oh my God, I'm with this guy and he
keeps lying and cheating and yelling and they're like, wait,
I could just have a happier life.
I'm you in the future and I'm happier and better for him.
This is APSA, Yeah, to all the anybody who's listening who is
in an abusive relationship. Exactly, you should leave.
You should leave his ass. Yeah, and sometimes even I feel
like sometimes it's not even the yelling.
Sometimes it's the, you know, the ignorant, the avoidance.
Yeah, that's like hurtful too. That's also like, manipulative.
Absolutely. So if you're feeling like you're
being emotionally abused or verbally abused, yeah.
Dump his ass. Dump his ass.
Yeah. And I even think we can apply
dump his ass to so many other things.
Like I'm a big believer in that. He if he wanted to, he would.
Yeah, I agree. I know that it's been said.
It is so true. I'm just like, if your situation
ship is leaving you hanging, if you're like, you know, feeling
like someone isn't giving you their full attention, I'm like,
get out of there. OK, I wish younger me can
understand that too. That's something.
Yeah, me too. I wish.
And here's the thing, I think that sometimes we have to learn
the lessons for ourselves and that's why we don't.
But I don't know. I don't know if I had this much
access to like other women in media where I didn't.
I didn't have the tools. I didn't hear the advice.
Oh, you. Oh.
I see what you mean. Yeah.
You know, Yeah. Like, like you said, the show,
it's still the women's, the victim.
Yeah. Did they like, depict her to
like, you know, dump his? Ass.
So I'm OK. This is where it gets tricky.
I'm only on season 2. OK, you don't know yet.
I know there's a season 3 but no, I mean she season 1 it ends
pretty badly for her. Like she gets dumped and I'm
like, see, you got to leave him first.
Yeah, you got to have it like, examples in the media for women.
Like, what do you do? Like, what's a good situation?
What's a? You know what you should do
instead? Of what you should do.
And yeah, I don't well, like like this, like this podcast
we're we're teaching. Yes, this is an informative
thing. Yeah.
And so I didn't have this growing up.
And so I think I let dudes walk all over.
Me, I agree. I feel like something that
really helped me with like, going over breakups is, yeah,
looking at other women's Tik toks about like you get the fuck
up like. Guys, yeah.
And just being the proof that life does go on and you will get
through it and it will get better and you will find someone
else. It's like all of these lessons
that I feel like maybe I heard of.
Yeah, that I just didn't believe or didn't understand.
Like there's so many other fish in the sea that's.
Literally true. That is true, but sometimes when
you're in the zone of like grieving, you don't.
It doesn't get. Into your mind, but.
No, you just see time heals all wounds.
Yeah, I'm, I'm a Hallmark card right now.
I'm just saying all the like. No, I love it.
That's what I need to remember. Sometimes when I'm in the zone,
I don't remember those things. I need someone to like, be like,
nagging me, like in my ears all the time.
Like there's more fish in the sea and like, what else?
Give me more. So there's that.
There are more efficiency. Oh yeah, I'll.
Just say all. All the things that have been
true, that have proven to be true, if he wanted to, he would.
Time heals all wounds. Because it's, I mean, really all
you do need is a certain amount of time.
I don't know what amount of time it's going to be, but you will
get over it and you will stop praying about it.
Yes, like that literally has happened.
It might take some time, but it's going to happen.
What's another cliche that is unfortunately true You.
Said time heals all wounds. That one, I'm I'm trying to
think of ones that also aren't true, where I don't really like
when people say it'll happen when you're not looking.
Oh, that one used to annoy me really, because I'm always
looking. I'm like.
So how did it happen for you? So now you're in a good
relationship. I'm in a good relationship.
Yeah, yeah, you should say it as a an example, a good example
like what does it look like? What does it look like?
Yeah, I think that we started out very good because they think
we're evenly matched and like our morals.
And I think that. That's a good start.
Start with more, I'll start your data.
We didn't start there, but I'm like, I don't know, on a first
date, if you can tell like the person is like rude to the
waiter or something like that. I'm like, run.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, So I feel like that.
It's not that I was look, I I'm like, I wasn't looking, but I
thought that this person was hot.
And so, like, again, like I said, not when I'm in a
relationship, but when I was single, I was always looking.
Like I'm always, you know, checking the scene.
Yeah, yeah. So I don't, I feel like, you
know, it'll happen for you when you're not looking is like
horrible advice to give someone, especially when they're single
'cause I'm like we're we're looking.
But yeah, where are it's not Yeah.
I have eyes. It's not unavoidable.
It's exactly, but no, when I, when I met my career partner, I
did not know that it was going to go so well.
But I feel like, yes, we were evenly matched on like humor,
morals, like things that we found really important.
And you never fight. We don't fight, we disagree.
OK, tell me more. I want to know more about.
I feel like you divert. Yeah.
No, you. I think that disagreement is
healthy. You're not going to agree A.
100% on everything that you've recently disagreed on and how
does you like? Yeah.
Solve the. We are very different in our, I
think like cleaning styles at home, OK, cleaning styles.
So he's cleaner than me, OK. I am a pretty clean person, but
I think that we have had like an issue that has come up is like
I'm doing the dishwasher way more often.
Like he's he's saying this like I'm, I'm doing the dishwasher
way more often. And I'm like, totally, that's
fair and valid. But it's not like a screaming
match. It's like, OK, you're coming to
me with an issue. I'm going to take it in.
I'm going to process it and I'm going to be like, OK, I'm going
to be better at AB and C, Whereas I don't know what
happens. I think maybe people get their
ego involved. Oh, they get.
Personal and they take it personally and they and they
fight or this is it's hard to compare because it's so apples
and oranges, but I'm like the fights I was getting in in my
marriage were like, Hey, can you please not cheat on me?
So it's a little different. It's not about the dishwasher.
No, it's like a little bit different.
So yeah, but I, I think that in other relationships when I was
younger also, like, I don't know, there's just there was
always a cycle of, of fighting and I don't, I hate fighting.
I'm so non confrontational. I don't like getting in fights
with my friends or anyone. Well, is it good to not be in
fights, to not be confrontational?
Because I feel like I've been looking at a lot of, like,
TikTok videos. Yeah, of course.
That's where I get my therapy. Of course.
Yeah. It's been saying that, you know,
if you're not confrontational, if you're like letting, if
you're not like letting out your emotions or, you know, bringing
out what's not making you comfortable or.
Yeah. You know, it's, it's, it's a
sign that you're like holding it in.
It's not like you are not good for you.
Yeah. This is where I go back to like
I think you need to bring things up but in a non confrontational
way. Yeah, non violent negotiation,
yeah. Like the way that we talk to
each other is just really kind and leading with like, we are a
team. Here's something that is making
me upset. And then it's like, Oh my God, I
would never want to make this person that I love upset.
Let me fix the problem. Yeah, You know well.
I'm so happy for you. Thank you.
No, it's it's lovely, but I definitely have not been in this
situation ever in my life. And so it's unusual to me.
And then it makes me want to, yeah, make APSA where I'm like,
stop fighting. You love each other, you don't
need to fight. If you love each other.
You wouldn't fight? Yeah, that's you can disagree,
but I don't know. This is the other thing where
I'm like, if your boyfriend's Republican, dump him.
I'm like, if that man does not value, you know, immigrants and
different races, like, like there's some base level things
where I'm like, then he's not going to respect you.
You know, if he doesn't respect a woman's body, like there's so
many things that I'm like, red flag.
Exactly. And like, you know, during the
last election, people were like, oh, you know, like my
boyfriend's voting for Trump. I'm like, poison him.
Why are? You why are you still late with
him? Like, yeah.
I'm like, no way, which is bringing me back to the thing
where I'm like, I feel like my partner and I are very morally
aligned. I see.
And that's why we don't get in a lot of the arguments that I feel
like I maybe got in with other partners.
Are you switching me like like internally?
The core concepts of like being a human are aligned.
Yeah. So, like, we're not going to
disagree on, you know, something we see on the news because we
feel very similarly about it, OK?
I feel, I feel, I feel that. I feel like I had boyfriends
where I, like, would have disagreements about like, yeah,
sometimes I feel like, oh, my God, are you a little
Republican? Yeah.
It's scary. Yeah, that's kind of funny, but.
Yeah, and I think a lot of men start out that way.
And I'm not saying it's not their fault, but it's like,
because they've been raised in this like patriarchal society,
that they're raised to think that they are right, that they
know better, that they deserve to make more money than women.
That was actually. That was literally one of the
arguments I had. Yeah.
Like, like the gender pay gap? Like how can you deny that
there's a gender pay gap? Oh my God.
Let me just put it out there like I that's such a red flag.
Huge red flag. Also I'm just like was he saying
he was denying that it existed? Yes.
OK, so that's just like if you want to borrow a a term.
Facts don't care about your feelings, honey.
And it is a fact that women are paid less and women of color are
paid even less than that. Yeah, he's like, oh, it's
because like women don't do like high paying jobs.
Or I've also gotten like people sending me like a meme.
They think that they're so they're so funny.
They're like, oh if, if it's cheaper to hire a woman doctor,
why wouldn't they all hire women doctors?
I was like, Oh my God, flames on the side of my face.
I'm like, that is enraging me. And it reminds me of a
conversation that I had with my ex where I was like, it is so
ridiculous. Like how few women directors are
nominated for Oscars and all this stuff.
And he was like, well, maybe they're not making as many
movies. And I'm just like, yeah, because
people aren't hiring as many women directors.
Like it's it's all from stemming from the same issue where it's
like we are not given giving women these opportunities or
they are, you know, supposed to be the primary caregiver.
And so, yeah, maybe they don't go out and get that medical
degree because we're assuming that they were going to stay
home and with the kids. Exactly.
So putting in so much emotional and unpaid work and they're
that's not recognized and when they are doing the paid work,
they're not recognized either because there's not that much
women presentation in the male dominated fields.
Yeah, you're not trusting women to be ACEO or whatever it is,
like these high paying jobs or whatever that he's talking
about. It's like, yeah, man, that is
what's happening because they're not giving them those jobs.
That makes me so mad, but so baseline.
If these men are willing to make, like, misogynistic jokes
in the privacy of their home with their guy friends and stuff
like that. That's what I mean, too, with,
like, moral alignment. Yeah.
You know, I'm like, if you're
going to make a joke about me making a sandwich in the
kitchen, like, you're probably not going to be a good partner
long term. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. You know.
Although I feel like that's like a lot of male comedians make
that joke. And hear me when I say this, you
are hacked, you're hacking your bad.
But totally. It's like if you're punching
down at women who historically have, you know, been
undervalued, undermined, not able to get the same
opportunities as men, men who make like, I hate my wife jokes.
I'm like, is it what year is it? I know like don't, don't have a
wife, don't already have someone said it better than I did and
I'm sure it's been talked about at length, but that I'm like
these men. Are they even?
Do they even want women? Like, are they even attracted to
women? Like they think so little of us
and yet they want to date and marry us.
Yeah, but. I yeah, maybe dating and
marrying us means that we're like belittled by them.
So and then like they want control over women and they
don't like they're not attracted.
They just want power. Yeah, it's so upsetting.
So then my other piece of advice would be be queer.
I'm getting I am in a relationship with a trans man.
I'm a queer woman, and I think that trans men are men.
They're just men with empathy and.
You're a whistleblower. It's a little, yeah, it's a
little bit better. OK, I, well, give me, I want to
get myself a trans man. I, you know, they're, they're a
minority. There's not that many of them.
So I I I can't find one. You can find there's.
Yeah. And if if you are queer and you
are, I mean, here's the thing. I'm a queer woman.
So even when I was in a hetero relationship, it was still a
queer relationship because I was in it.
But I do, I know that there are bad people in every community,
but I do feel like my experiences with the queer
community have been way better. Yeah, exactly.
I think that we just have a baseline better sense of
empathy. Yeah, yeah.
I feel like even interactions with straight men, the straight
men who have like a connection to the queer community are much
better. Yes, straight men.
Oh my gosh, yes. Like if you find a man who is
like, best friends with lesbians, green flag, that is a
good guy, you know, like, there's they're out there.
You just have to do a little bit of searching to find them, you
know, Come, come, do a queer event.
And yeah, yeah, I feel like those men exist.
I feel like they do around. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like at the at like shows or like queer parties, they're
around. Yeah, if you go to those parties
and you find a straight guy or bye guy or whatever who finds
himself in the company of other queer people, he's usually a
little, a little better groomed than these straight men, you
know? Yeah, don't like, I feel like
they usually exist in Brooklyn instead of like, you know, like
downtown. Yeah, yeah.
You got it. You got to get it.
I train. OK, I, I try to go to to see
Super Bowl, I try to, you know, fit in the American culture and
Oh my God, there's so many straight.
I mean, I should, that's what I expect, but.
Of course, that's the thing. And you know something that I
learned they. Left the bar, Yeah, during
halftime show. Wait, they didn't watch Benito?
No. What is the point?
I know that's that's everything that's.
Crazy, where did they go? I don't know, I hope not to
their wife and kids because they don't deserve one.
That's crazy. Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing, Straight culture is.
So maybe it's the one last monoculture we have is straight
culture is like, no, but what I learned getting into a queer
relationship is that I 'cause I'm just self self appointed.
I'm not. I am not a sports girl and I've
always been that way. Was never good at doing sports
or watching them, and that's OK, that's on me.
But when I got into a queer relationship, I was like, my
God, I'm still gonna be subjected to watching sports.
I did not realize. Really.
Yeah, because we're watching a lot of women's sports.
Yes, yes, yes. Women's sports.
Hell yeah. Hell yeah.
And you know what? I'm there for the girls, but I
couldn't tell you what is happening on that field or that
court. Yeah, I remember I was like
asking ChatGPT about the, you know, the rules about, like,
Super Bowl, like on the night, like that night.
It's something that I'm just never going to figure out.
You know, I wasn't good at math. I'm not going to be good at
sports. We all have our flaws and.
Yeah, well, what did you study? I studied radio and television.
Oh my. God, and you're thriving.
Oh my God, thank you. Well, I mean, that was my major
and I worked in TV for many years and now I work in digital
media. And wow, OK, how did you meet
your current partner? Through comedy.
So. Yeah, Really.
Yeah. So they're also a comedian.
And so we actually met at a friend's show.
OK. That's great.
That's why you're so aligned. You're doing like.
I know, yeah, it feels good. It's again, it's nice to be on
the same page about a lot of things.
Yeah, and you would understand each other because you're both
in the same struggle. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah.
So we met at a show and I, you know, Oh my.
God, do I know them? I think maybe I don't know, I
don't know, but I can show you after OK and you can yeah.
But very, very cute. I, I had also like seen this
person online before we ever met in person and I was like, oh,
they're really hot. You're a fan.
Yeah, definitely. And then when we met up in
person, I was like, Oh my God, I was so nervous.
And then it was just this weird thing.
It was like fate. We just kept running into each
other that week at different shows.
OK, so it's like Universe put you together.
The universe put us together and then we were all at a bar.
It was like a Wednesday night or something.
It was during pride. So which was so like we, we were
at some like gay event and I was like, you should take my number.
And he did. And then we've been together
ever since. Like we just, we went on a date
and wow. That's quick.
Yeah, it was like that is the thing we.
Yeah. We did U-Haul pretty quickly.
It's like that is a stereotype and it did happen to us, so
that's another. Cliche, that's true.
OK, well, I mean, that's not a bad thing.
Is that a bad? Thing no.
It's. Just.
Neutral. It's not, Yeah.
And I sometimes I think it's a good thing.
Like I feel like there's so many people who are not.
Why are you not rushing into a relationship?
How old are you and what the world is ending?
The world, literally the world is crashing down around us like
be in love and move in together and it's.
Expensive to live on your own. Come on, living in.
Why do you live in New York City or any other major city like,
you know, San Francisco or LA or whatever?
I'm like, you got to live. Together.
Yeah, No, Why not? Yeah.
In love, like, yeah. Especially people that I'm
talking to. What?
Yeah, no, hey, we're both comedians.
Like it was. We had to, right?
I've been looking at your nails, they're so cute.
Oh my God, thank you. I'm going tomorrow for my
Valentine's Day set. What are you going to do for
Valentine's? Day, I don't know, you know what
I was I was thinking Margot Robbie has been doing this
incredible press for that Wuthering Heights movie and
she's a sick outfit every time. But I really loved the one that
was like red and black that was like faded readable.
I don't know. I was like, I'm going to show my
girls great. Like, you know what, we're
friends and I can show her something and she'll like whip
something up. Oh my God.
Anyways, yeah, I. Was in a sexy sexy situation.
With a girl and. I didn't have, I had short nails
on. Yeah, so I I could.
She had very long nails on, so I could.
I couldn't get anything. Oh my gosh, yeah.
Well, here's OK, I know that people have a lot of opinions on
this and are like, you know, you should, because I've I've
thought about getting like the gay hand, which is you just take
down these two or whatever two you use, you make these short.
But then I was like, then I'm walking around and it's kind of
like, yeah, I'm fucking. I don't know, I felt weird about
it, but I don't know. I have never had any complaints.
And again, these are what I'm like overdue.
These are like 6 weeks, OK, you know, long.
I usually go down and and make them shorter.
But this is not bad this. It's not that bad.
And I think that if you're not like scratching someone like
you're fine. But I'm so sorry that you you
couldn't get any, right? I couldn't get any action.
Yeah, I know. That's hard.
I know. Yeah, I still I cry about it.
They cry about it. So do you.
Are you? Do I identify as queer?
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I love it.
Well, so then you get it. Like I think dealing with the
queer community is a lot easier. Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I definitely feel that.
Although I feel like sometimes when I because I don't live in
Brooklyn and I feel like I don't know where to go.
Where do you need people? I'll tell you.
Yeah, No, Tell us, tell us, tell us.
Tell me now. I'm like what are some like you
should. I mean places.
You can go to there's Pat, which is like a queer night at Union
Pool. It's like, is it Thursdays and
then Wednesdays at the Woods is also a queer night in Brooklyn.
There's there's plenty of of places and Henrietta's on on
Hudson is another like lesbian bar.
I'm trying to think the Bush. I'm like.
The Bush, it's literally called. The Bush, it's literally called
the Bush, honey. Like, you can go there and you
will. You'll clean up, you know?
Oh yeah, like. My thing, Yeah.
I don't have Bush anymore because I lasered you.
Lasered. Oh my.
God, I know I lost my wings. You.
Oster Wings. What's so funny is like when I
got out of my straight marriage, I grew the Bush out.
Yeah. I was like, it's time.
You should. Yeah, here's the thing.
I'm like pussy's pussy. No it Bush or no Bush.
But it's so funny that you lasered and like you can't.
It hasn't grown back. Well, it's grown back, very.
It doesn't go back to where it used to be, like it should not
be restored. I don't know, maybe like I
thought. To her former glory.
Yeah. That's so crazy.
Yeah. Wait, so can I ask you a
question? You came here and.
And what like what are the differences between dating here
first back home? Oh.
Wait, like when or maybe when did you get here?
Because like, were you old enough to date?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a good question. I don't know.
I feel like you're, I feel like OK, people don't say I love you
as much. OK here.
Here, yes. Wow.
I feel like people here attach a big value to I love you.
Yeah, it's a big step here. Yeah, it is, but it's not back
home, I think. OK, yeah, cuz I feel like yeah,
people are like they have rules about it.
You have to wait like a certain amount of time.
You have to wait three months to say I love you or like 3 months
is you can have the conversation about dating.
Oh, there's a top. Line.
I don't know. These are arbitrary.
Yeah, that's why I got domed. No, no, I'm kidding.
No, but I no, people put these arbitrary timelines on things,
and I don't agree with that either.
I think it's like when you know, you know, another cliche.
This episode's all about cliches, but they're true.
Yes, yeah, they're true. But I'm like, you can say
whenever I know people are like, oh, when do you have the talk
about like, what are we? Yeah, yeah.
Is that like a month in or is that three months in?
And then when is I love you, I love you is like I'm like you
should say it when you feel it, right?
So I never want to be the first I.
Feel like I never got that feeling when I was like, back
home. Yeah, yeah.
You just say it whenever you feel like it, yeah.
Or nobody's like weird about it. Like like whoever said it first.
Like doesn't care who said it first.
Wait, this is fascinating. Really.
Yes, but. I mean, I guess.
I love learning about like what dating or like relationship
stigmas exist in other countries.
Like I think it's it's or other cultures.
Like it's so fascinating. But I feel like, OK, my college
roommate was Italian, OK, And she was like, I don't know.
I feel like she like it's even more like words of affection.
Oh yeah. Like she was, she was calling.
I'm on it. And yeah, no, I saw you're like
Italian. Yeah, I know.
I'm, I'm crazy. Italian brings me back.
To like college days. Yeah.
Talking to my roommate. So she wasn't just like Italian
American, she was like. Italian.
Yeah, Italian like. OK, from Rome.
From Rome. Yeah.
So that's the thing in America. Like I learned this cuz I was in
like the UK over the summer and they're like, yeah, you guys
will say like you're Italian, but you're not like from Italy.
And I'm like, I know, but because I'm like Italian
American. So I wasn't born there or
anything. Like I have no, you know, it was
my grandparents that were born there.
But yes, Italians I think in general with like our family and
our loved ones are very overly words, words about probation,
like affection. I was scrunched a lot as a kid.
Like, you know, it's very, very affectionate households for
sure. But I feel like but the society
is not as affectionate like. I can't speak on like actual
Italy, like what goes on there because like, yeah, but but I
will say I think that yeah, I don't know.
I don't. Know, I feel like I kind of
like, I don't know, I kind of like how people are putting like
weight to I love you because then they served like a hallmark
like yeah, you know, like a you when you've reached this, that
it means that it's it's like explicitly means that it's
something serious. It's a big step, yes.
Yeah, it's like this is. But this is huge.
You like, if I'm saying it all the time to everybody, then I
don't know who like I'm being serious with, I guess.
Yeah. Or like it's not verbal.
And I'm a big like outside of my relationships because I did, you
know, I was like scared to say it first.
And thankfully my partner said it first and so I didn't have to
worry. I think it was like, I don't
know if it was two or three months in or something like
that. But with my friends, I am overly
effusive about love. OK.
I love that like I'm, I'm, I don't know, I'll meet someone
and we've we're newer friends or something and I'm like, love you
like I love, I love saying that. No, I, I feel that.
I love that. I love it when people say to me.
Yeah, I love making people feel loved.
I love you. Oh.
Yeah, I love you. Oh, this is the sole reason why
I'm having you on the podcast. It's because I need to hear I
love you from another human being.
It's. Nice, we need to hear it.
Wait, so what's going on with you?
What is your love life? Current status.
It's it's wait, I can tell you. You can't.
I'll tell you off the. Pod.
Oh, OK, OK, OK, OK after the pod yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't get to know. No, you don't get.
To know, but I can tell you about my past relationships.
Yes, OK. Tell me.
Wait, what do you want to? Know what is the worst?
Because I think that my marriage that ended in a divorce was
arguably my worst relationship. So what is the worst
relationship? You've ever had worst
relationship? Oh my God, can I even call them?
Relationships. I feel like situationships,
whatever. This is so I've never actually
publicly talked. About this but this is the time
girl. Yeah, I was dating someone who
had a girlfriend back home. Like he's American and he had a
girlfriend in America and he was in China.
Oh my God, yeah. Well, I wasn't dating.
I was seeing him. I mean, we're not, but.
Still. I know.
What apos? Yeah.
I know and then like he broke up with his whole like girlfriend
back home. Yeah and COVID happened so I
never got to see him or like be boyfriend and girlfriend with
him. Oh my God, yeah.
It's so sad. Did how did you find out that he
had a girlfriend? It's very obvious.
It's kind of my fault. No, it's it's not.
Hey, we never, we never blame ourselves or the other woman.
If it's a man's fault, it is. A man's fault, Yeah, He wasn't.
He was making it look like they're going to break up or
they're not in a good relationship, that he or he
shouldn't be seeing me again but kept seeing me so.
That's on him. He wasn't being truthful.
He was omitting stuff. Yeah.
I mean, we've seen this a million times.
A guy will be like, or. I mean, it happens both ways, I
know. But statistically, men cheat
more. I'm just going to say it.
Facts or facts. But, you know, someone will be
like, oh, yeah, like I'm married, but like, I'm we're
getting a divorce or something. But they're not actually.
Oh my God. Yeah.
And they, like, lead you on. Yeah.
Yeah, wait, I think I've just talked.
I was just talking about this with my other friend.
She was like, oh, maybe like maybe he will divorce a wife,
but but then you wouldn't want to be the person that's like the
second choice. Like you wouldn't want to be
like. It's hard unless like, they're
truly it's mutual and getting divorced and it's happening and
then, you know, he dates you or they date you right after it.
Like, whatever. I mean, that is my current
partner's situation technically, but there was no overlap.
OK. OK.
It was, you know, many months afterwards.
Yeah. But yeah, like, you don't always
have to feel like second fiddle, especially if that is really
what's going on. But if they're lying, yeah.
Thank you for saying that, it's very appealing to me.
Wow. It's not your fault and like we
can only believe what people tell us.
I take a lot of people at face value and that's why I've gotten
hurt a lot. And it's very hard to not
believe people right what they say.
Yeah, it's the default. Like believing was the default
and we're being punished for people being like normal.
Yeah, you're like this guy is in China, He's not in America.
He's saying that they're breaking up.
I mean, you're not whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's, yeah. It's fine.
It's over. And I feel like I've learned the
lesson. I feel like that, definitely.
Teach me a lesson. Now when I yeah, definitely, I
wouldn't fall for that again. It's hard though, and it's hard
when you're really attracted to someone and you're really
excited about something and you know you want to, you want to
believe it's OK. Yeah, well, let's, well, I, I
feel like we have like 5 minutes left.
OK, let's end on a happy note. Oh, yes, I'm sorry.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Is that too serious?
No, I love it. OK, I love it.
Yeah, it's, it's sometimes this podcast gets very serious.
Well, I mean, yeah, it's about like relationships and love and
hooking up and. It's it's complicated.
Yeah. Humans are messy.
Very. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a
happy note. Let's What's your most recent?
What's something that made you? Laugh last time.
Oh my gosh. Well, I was just in an open mic
and a comedian made me laugh. But I I'm like, that's the most
like recent recent that I can think of.
Something that makes you smile, I guess, Not laugh.
Smile, I think that my I love and cherish my girlfriend so
much and they always make me smile and laugh.
And we have a really fun love language where we say kind of
mean things to each other because we know we don't mean
it. OK.
And so like, you know, one of them will be like you ugly
bitch. I know sometimes.
I need that, yes. Sometimes I need to have to
brown myself. Yeah, or they'll be like, you're
so dumb and I'm like, I know, but they really mean the
opposite. They.
They will be the one that's calling you out when you're
dating a dumb guy. Yes, that's the other thing.
I mean, it's not on, it's not on the friends, right, because they
can't make a decision for you, right.
But you know, I do you think that I now I'm really surrounded
by a lot of people who I trust that would Get Me Out of a bad
situation. Yeah, I think the support system
is good. Like, yeah, like when I'm
complaining to my friends about my situation, ship and stuff.
Yeah, I will tell them that. Well, if this ends badly, I know
you're gonna be there. I'm gonna cry, but I will be
okay because you're gonna be there.
It's so true. They're the ones that will be
taking care of us. I really hope that one day we
all get a house and we all live together with like 1,000,000
cats. Like that's why, yeah, that's
what. That's my dream.
Yeah, yeah. Me and my girlfriends, like when
no one else got me, they've got me.
Yeah, I was just reading. I was just looking at Sex and
the City clip. Yeah.
And Charlotte was like, well, maybe we could be to the girls,
maybe we could be soul mates. We don't need men to be our soul
mates. We can be soul mates.
We can take care of each other and men are just something to
have fun with. Yes, I kind of really believe
that. I mean, listen, I'm in such a
healthy like wonderful relationship, but God forbid
anything happened. Like yes my girls are my soul
mates for for real. That's why the podcast for like
girls, I feel like guys, no straight guys will be on my bed.
It's for the girls and the gays and that's it.
Wait, OK, I have a fun ending. I think you should teach me how
to say I love you in Mandarin. OK, it's.
Actually very simple. I think it's simple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's what I need.
What I need Yes. Oh, is it good?
OK Wow. Well, I mean, because we talked
about saying I love you and. How?
Fun and nice it is, yeah. Or if you want to say it like
you, you don't have to say what it's like.
If you want to say love you, it's I mean.
I mean, oh, I mean that's. So fun you how do you do you say
other languages? I speak a little bit of Italian.
How do you say Italian? I love you.
It's diamo. Diamo.
Yeah, it's easy. Do you say Italian to your?
Do you speak Italian to your family?
So yes, I have some family that is still in Italy and I have
this one cousin who will come here and she's around my age and
I love her so much and she speaks like she speaks way
better English. OK, then I speak Italian, but
we'll speak like broken Italian English to each other.
Oh, OK. And it's really fun, but it's
like it's so true if you use it. If you don't use it, you lose
it. And I took it for like 7 years
in school and then I was not practicing and so I lost it.
Oh no, I know it's so sad, but I can still say some things.
OK, let me like I love you. I love you too.
T MO Yeah. MO why me?
Why me? But OK, I have one last question
before. Yes, it's very unrelated, but I
want to ask you, can you like answer this on behalf of the
Italians? Maybe not, but I'm going to just
ask you because I saw House of Gucci.
Yes. Why is everyone speaking English
with an Italian accent instead of speaking Italian?
Now, I don't know what those people, the producers and
everything of House of Gucci were thinking, but I think that
maybe it was because they're making an American film.
And so they're like, I guess we have to make them speak
American. But Italian is such a beautiful
language and it should have been spoken in Italian.
Yeah, but no, me this Piache. I'm sorry.
It's. OK, how do you say it's OK in
Italian? Honestly, it's, it's really
funny, OK, but like you didn't know no, a lot, a lot of the
things like I, there's an amazing comedian, Mateo Lane,
who has a joke about this. But when you say like gay and
Italian, it's just gay. Like it's just in it.
And so they, they will say like it's OK, like it's OK, you know,
or, or it's good, like it's OK but but you know, they still
they will say like OK. So wait, so gay and Italian
it's. Just gay, gay with Italian he
please. It is not my joke.
It is Mateo Lane's and he is so, so funny and it is such a good
joke. But yeah, he's like gay and
Italian is just gay. Just like with like in an
Italian voice, basically. I guess.
Go look for the joke. It's so funny.
Yeah, I'm trying. To think maybe, yeah, I don't.
There's no no, no such thing for that in Chinese.
Really, they they don't have a word for gay.
Well, yes, no, they well, they do.
But people say gay, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But they just say gay. That's.
Like in English. That's wild.
So in all these other languages, they're like, we're not coming
up with a word for that. It's just gay.
Yeah, we're united. Yeah, we're united in that it's
gay no matter what. That's so that's the essence of
the Super Bowl halftime show. It's gay no matter what.
Yeah. Well, thank you SO.
Much Thank you for having me. So fun.
Fun, yeah.