Dude, that's so sick that you guys get to like be best friends
and just. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Actually say best. Friends receptors.
Close to best friends though, right?
Like some of the were. Orange.
You said orange is not caffeinated.
Ah, yeah. OK then.
Grief. Dude, guys, see what I got to
deal with? See what I'm saying, bro?
I love it. So you were saying you said this
is still friend show. It's literally.
Perfect for this. That's why I thought about,
like, why didn't I have them in together last time?
Ironic. I think he was gone, the last
one. Oh.
OK, OK dude. Was he crying on the last show
that? No, that's my goal for today.
Though. No, we can talk about a lot of
stuff we'll do. Honest.
Because I just watched and I can't believe I didn't watch it
before you came on last the podcast you guys did with
Marcus, it was a. Good one.
Yeah, great. I mean like honestly this you
guys touched on. You guys could have gone for, I
feel like. Oh yeah, we could have went all
day we were. Like 67812 hours, like 12
months, like it literally could have gone on.
Forever. Lana just in the back.
She's like, this is getting really sad and dark.
Let's cut it. Yeah.
Can we pick up the comedy please?
No, but that's always the thing. Like a lot of people get a lot
from that. Like me personally, I was
bawling, crying to be honest. Like I haven't lost my father
yet. I know you both have, right?
I'm kind of in the process of it.
He's got couple of cancers. I don't even know yet.
I'm sorry, but your guy's podcast kind of help with kind
of coping with that a little bit, even though it hasn't
happened yet. Well, the the bad thing.
And I I think I said in the podcast, like, there's no way
you can prepare for it at all. Like it it's it's like it's like
a fight. You can prepare for every type
of scenario situation until you finally get in there.
You're like, oh, like, yeah, I might have obviously realized
some things, but wow, this is a lot different.
Or wow, he's a lot stronger than what I thought or faster or
whatever the case may be. So the same thing with the law.
So you just you can prepare for it mentally as much as you can,
but you don't know how you're going to react until it actually
hits you. And you have this time ahead of
you where you get to kind of like deal with it beforehand and
kind of like set yourself up for whatever is going to happen.
I with both of us, it was pretty like sudden.
So it was just like like. Do you?
Remember, let's get right into.
The tears Bucket, Do you remember where you were?
When that happened, I was just going to say I was just going to
say so. I was in Rome, so I was.
Do you want to talk about yours for?
Dude, I I mine. I ended up being in Rome.
Give you a little story introduction first, OK, OK.
Small guy, big head, former UFC fighter, eight time world champ.
That's pretty much bought it. That's that's it, Jose.
Shorty Torres, where were you born and raised?
Chicago, IL I think, Yeah. What ethnicity are you?
Mexican. And your dad, I heard he's a
gang member, right? Yeah, he was a gang leader.
And you know, I wouldn't say I followed suit, but naturally,
which is very ironic that this whole my whole childhood didn't
drink, didn't smoke, like tried to be different.
My dad was a very angry person. So I was like, oh, I need to be
calm. This dad didn't want to fight,
but obviously he put me into fighting.
And now that I go overseas, I'm like my whole life I did
everything to not be my father, you know, but you want to be a
son and stuff like that, you know, So whole life try to avoid
the gang stuff. And then when he died homage,
purple hair, stuff like that that I go overseas.
I'm like, brother, we label you as Chicago gangster.
I was like, wow, this whole childhood get away from this.
And now I go overseas and I'm known as Chicago gangster.
So automatically, you know, everyone just puts me as that.
How did your parents meet? Was dad full Mexican?
Mom was Puerto Rican. Opposite.
So Dad's Puerto Rican, my Mexican, you know, both born in,
you know, in their respective countries, and then slowly came
to Chicago and just somehow linked up my do.
You have any sub siblings? One brother, two half sisters.
Then I found out about one that's actually hilarious.
So one I found out when I was 20, like, later on I was like,
oh damn. And she's the middle child.
So obviously, like, he cheated and did this thing Rolling Stone
and I was like, oh damn, I'm still the baby.
And then do you watch novellas or anything or no.
Like soap operas at least. OK.
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah.
That later on at my dad's wake. I'm trying to be the man of the
house now, you know, by the casket like, oh, thank you for
your condolences. Stuff like that.
Some girl walks up with her mother and I'm like, oh, hey,
like, how do you like. Wow, you look familiar.
But how do you know my father? She goes, I think I'm your
sister. And I'm like, like in my head,
I'm like, dumb, dumb, dumb like, oh, like you just can't get any,
like, crazier, you know, 'cause my dad's body's right there.
My mom's like, yo, I'm glad you're dead, you know?
And I'm just like, I got another sister, you know, And the mom,
the mom was like, I didn't know. She goes, I had a one night
stand with your father. And then years later, you know,
I was with my husband, stuff like that.
And she goes, my daughter was looking different than everyone
else. And so we decided to take
ancestry. And then there you go.
I was like, oh, look at that. Wow.
Yeah. But back to the the whole Rome
thing. I'm overseas in Rome, and we
used to watch a lot of Bruce Lee movies.
And there was one with Chuck Norris.
I think it was a Return of the Dragon and or at least what we
call it here in the States. And so I remember the Coliseum.
So I'm in Rome, dude. Dude, I'm walking around like,
oh, the Coliseum. All this would be dope.
Coincidence. It was also my father's
birthday. And so I'm like, talking to him
like, oh, cool. I hope you're having a great
day. The time difference is, you
know, obviously insane. And so I was like, oh, I hope
you have a great day. It's already midday for me.
He's just starting his day, goes out with my brother, spends the
whole day and I was like, hey, I'll give you a call when I get
back to the airport. I was like, alright, cool, love
you, cool, happy birthday, blah, blah, blah.
Then I get to the airport. Coincidentally, I took the wrong
train and so I missed my flight. So I'm like, fuck, I'm here for
12 more hours. Let me call my father, call my
father and my brother picks up the phone just crying like bad.
I'm like, hey, calm down like and my brother's very emotional,
you know, So I'm like, hey you, what are you overreacting about?
Like, relax. And he's like, Dad's in the
ambulance going to, you know, hospital right now, blah, blah.
I was like, well, what happened? And the way he was describing, I
was like, kind of sounds like Dad had a heart attack, you
know? And so they're like, yeah, they
put him in the ambulance and took him in.
And then he had to get, I guess, a triple bypass surgery because
everything was clogged. And my dad did steroids back in
the day. So he was like my size 200 lbs.
Just jacked. Yeah.
And so he slowly started to lose weight throughout the years.
Yeah, we're like, oh, you know, he's off steroids.
Maybe that's why. But, like, when he finally
passed away, I think he was like 123 lbs.
So, like, he got really, really thin where he's like, oh, yeah,
I want to, I want to, you know, get one of your shirts.
I'm like, why do you fit in my shirts now?
Like, you were always an extra large and a large and a medium
and then, you know, small. And so I'm, you know, I do the
whole commentating thing. I was part of Brave for
commentating team, you know, I had to, like, fake it to make
it, you know, he's fine from the surgery, but he's sedated still.
And I'm like, OK, cool, Like, you know, Dad survived.
Yay, you know, crazy surgery. But he survived.
But he hasn't woken up yet. And they're like, oh, he's still
bleeding. We're going to do another
surgery now. I'm back at American Top Team at
the time, and I'm just in my dorm.
I was like, hey, mom, let me know stuff.
I know you don't want to tell me stuff so I can focus on training
and fighting at the time. I'm fighting for my first world
championship for Brave because I just signed with them and I'm
like, OK, cool, let me, you know, I'll still focus on this.
But obviously checking out my father, then they're like, oh,
we did the surgery to to stop the bleeding.
But now everything's slowly shutting down.
And I'm like, why it's from a heart attack, from a, you know,
clogged arteries. There's no reason why his liver
should be shutting down or his, you know, other organs.
And so basically he was just on tubes and all these different
things. And I'm like, let me know when
it gets serious. And then obviously I'll fly back
home. And I was like, oh, don't worry,
just stay, you know, stay there. And then one day she gets in
that call. You can tell by the, like, the
tone of her voice. She goes, hey, you know, the
doctor talked to me and they go, you know, he's on the machines.
And he honestly, he can probably go any minute.
I was like, OK, how about this, you know, as calm as possible
because I don't like to show my emotions like that.
I was like, all right, do I? I was like, if he passes away,
then he passes away. Let him go.
Don't resuscitate him. He's on machines anyways, and if
he stays alive until I get there, then we'll pull the plug
together. So I was like, I'll grab a
flight and go. At the time.
I'm like 3 weeks before my world title fight.
And me, I'm mental. I'm like I'm going to still
fight, still fight. I go downstairs to train and I
was really close to Jillian Robertson at the time.
She was really the only person I talked to.
And my head is down and I'm like trying my best not to show my
emotions. And she goes, you know, she
always wanted to like mess with me.
And she goes, it hit me. And I'm just like, Nah, you
know, Nah, Nah, no, no, no reaction.
And she's like, what's up? And she sees, like, that one
tear. And because I was really close
to her, I'm naturally vulnerable.
So my body just kind of like, let it out.
I look up. And I had that one tear.
She's like, oh, my gosh, gave me a hug.
And everyone's like, why the hell is Jillian hugging Shorty?
Like, she's not a very affectionate person.
And they look at me and they see my tears coming down.
Everyone's like, oh, my gosh, this big old circle of friends
and family. I was like, oh, this is amazing.
Then they let them know what happened.
They're like, you should go back upstairs and stop.
Like, just relax. I was like, whoa, I got 4 hours
until I got to leave to the flight, you know, might as well
just train, you know, like get my mind off of it.
They're like, OK, you know, so I start running.
Everyone's kind of like being weary with me.
But for me, training was my my time away from time.
Like you get punched in the face, you kind of forget but
also. So that was the day that he had
actually passed. So he was going to pass, he was
going to pass. And so it's already like 5 days
he had his heart attack and then five days later it comes about
and then, you know, I sparred and I was actually sparring
Pantosa at the time and he's sweaty Brazilian shirt off, all
that stuff, right when the bell rang, like the final bell, he's
like brother and like opens up his arms, he's like, oh oh God,
you know, he gives me a hug because it's like I I kind of,
you know, snap back into it. We're like, I'm back to the
world. I'm like, fuck, my dad's dying
and I'm like, oh shit. And I remember getting on the
flight and our flight was a little bit delayed and I'm just
in the back seat. I'm like, don't you fucking go
dying on me now. Don't you die on me now.
You know, like, I just want to make it home.
And I remember my friend picked me up to take me.
He's like, oh, I'm going to drop off my girl real quick.
I'm like, I don't give a fuck about your girl.
Let's just go to the hospital, please.
Like, I'm not trying to be rude, but my fucking father's dying.
Just go get to the hospital. And it was like, it was like
Moses splitting the Red Sea. Like I come in, everyone's like,
what I'm in what I'm in. Like all the family just opened
up. I was like, give me like 2
minutes, semi. Condolences.
And then I'm like, well, like as professional as possible as,
like, you know, talk to my father, like in my family I was
like, OK, let's let's do it, pull the plug.
And then I start making some really too soon type of jokes,
'cause I guess that's my coping mechanism given I went a little
too far sometimes. But I was like, I apologize to a
lot of people. But with that being said, like,
I don't know how to cope. And then I still went overseas
trained, was going to fight and I started to have panic attacks
because I'm at the World Championships.
I was a two time world champions amateur as you already know.
Any type of pain that people will remind you about, it's it's
not annoying, but it's like, hey, I appreciate the sympathy,
but let's not talk about it. So the whole time at Worlds,
everyone knows and my father passed away and in my
documentary leading up to it, I was like, you know, I'm just
going to ignore it and not talk about it, whatever.
And I'm just going to go from there.
Everyone at Worlds, even, you know, Japanese guys, Russians,
every, you know nation knows me. And they're just like, you know,
they're like with the translators.
My condolences brother. I'm just like.
Sorry for your loss. Stuff like.
That. Yeah.
And even like Omira Bazi at the time, you know, I just beat him
and he was fighting on the same card as I hate brother.
My condolences. Stuff like that.
I'm just like, oh God, you know. And then I remember 2 days
before the fight, you know, I'm cutting weight.
I just plateaued emotionally like my body wasn't, wasn't at
all coming down that I end up having like a panic attack in
the sauna. And my nutritionist, very
depressed guy, naturally, has had plenty of panic attacks.
And he's like trying to coach me through it.
And me mentally, I've never really felt this type of pain
that I was, in a sense, trying to kill myself.
Like, I'm having this panic attack and he's telling me what
to do. And I'm trying my best to do the
opposite to where, like, I can either wake up in the hospital,
wake up, you know, back at home, you know, giving I'm overseas or
wake up next to my father, which means I died.
You know, like the, like, those are the things that were going
to my head. And I was like, I I can't fight,
you know, Did the press conference, I try to be as, as
manly as possible, went to the press conference, like, I can't
fight. Broke down.
Let them let people know. And then, you know, went home
and that was it. And then had to do what I needed
to do And then, you know, took months to realize like, oh,
damn, I'm doing a lot of really, really dumb things.
You know, take my anger out on people by accident or verbally
attacking people or or just just not knowing how to cope.
And yeah, it took me a while, you know, even know how to cry.
Didn't know that was a thing that you should do, yeah, but
it's part of the process, the mental journey.
What did it look like growing up with him just being in Chicago
and him being a gang leader? So I, you know the the the last
child usually or the youngest usually has like the better life
more opportunity. You know the father or parents
are like we kind of messed up a little bit on the the first one
or the a couple few are. We got to do a little more for
this. You know, it's not that you're
the favorite child, but you get more.
So in a sense, I got less ass kickings.
Still got them. But you know, that's something I
look at with my brothers, Like my brother got it like he took a
lot from my father. You know me, I took some, but I
got a lot more opportunity and more love and affection from him
than anyone else. Did you realize that as a kid
when you were younger? Kind of.
You know the the difference is and we all kind of want things
we don't have, we can't have. So, like, I was raised by my
mother, but since I wanted my father, you know, you want to be
like your father. Since my brother was raised by
my father, he wanted to be like my mom.
So we were very, very opposite as a child.
We if we were like, when we had times together, amazing.
But then we didn't have time together.
I'm like, man, he's a scary guy. My dad sometimes would just get
home mad and just want to beat up people, you know, if we were
in his way, we got hit. That's just how it was.
So it made us very, very tough. But as we got older, I kind of
realized the resentment I had. And no matter if he apologized
for everything, like what's done is done, I can't change the fact
of what's happened. So I have to deal with my own
trauma. And I did, you know, I kind of,
in a sense, forgave. And I was like, what's what's
your job as a parent to give your kids a better life than
what you had? You know, if it's 100% better or
if it's .0001% better, technically, job well done,
That's job accomplished. You know, the ABCD is passing
grades. So, you know, so for me, I was
like, man, your life compared to mine.
And I know his childhood, and that's a whole different story,
is he didn't have a father. He at least gave me the
opportunity to have one, even if it was rough or not.
So I'm like, you know, man, technically, job well done.
Let's find a compromise. And what do I know?
I finally had like, the typical sitcom father.
And I was like, oh man, this is awesome.
Tell him all my problems. And then when he passed away, I
was like, all right, man, let me, oh, I can't tell you what
I'm going through right now. So that was one of the biggest
things. You know, I lost a lot of things
in my life and my father was one of those.
Besides your father, besides the reason why I did this sport,
because I'm not a violent person, I like to help Warren.
He, he knows a bunch of fighters, not more of a coach
than anything. And then the person to talk to,
rely on or even just a best friend to confide to him, like,
oh shit, I lost like 3 main things in my life.
So it took me a while to get back to it, and obviously COVID
didn't help. What was that like?
Because I mean that resent that you developed for him.
When did that start to be become a thing?
I mean, I think that kind of came into play when I was a
teenager. The funny thing is, so I did
martial ourselves four years old.
We always used to like, play fight in the house, stuff like
that, and seriously, fight. But when I became a teenager, my
brother and so my brothers died twice.
He got hit with the hell with the bat and I had to be
resuscitated. I had like skull surgery, all
that stuff. And then he got stabbed 17 times
and literally lost all this. All of his blood had a whole
blood transfusion. My my brother, the Prince of
Bahrain, calls him the legend because he just won't die.
Like every story you you talk about him, they're like, he's
the legend and the legend's bag. I'm like, dude, you just want
you're like a cat. You won't die.
But for me, when my brother got hurt the first time, he's yeah,
shut out on the details. Like he's eight years older, you
know? So I definitely got my asking
about him too. But he was also like my father
figure, 'cause he was so much older.
He was like, hey, man, I went left.
Then work out, right? You should go this way, you
know. So when he got hurt, he would
actually fist with my father all the time.
He was the rebel again, raised by him, so he didn't like him as
much for me. When he got hurt, he goes, hey,
I know you do karate and stuff, but I need you to learn how to
really fight. You know, my dad back in the day
used to be my mother, used to be my father, myself, stuff like
that. So again, a very aggressive guy
at the time, especially in his youth.
So he's like, I need you to protect the house.
So we're going to put you in Combat Doe where I'm still at
today with Master Bob and he's like how much you know how to
really fight. And I was at MMA gym, taught
everything and all that stuff. So he's like, I'm going to pay
for you to go. For one year I was like, OK,
cool. Literally, I joined Combat Doe
to, in a sense, kick my dad's ass.
I was like, at the end of the year I'm going to kick dad's
ass, blah blah. And then at the end of the year
I ended up kicking my brother's ass a couple times.
But ironic. But with that being said it got
me closer because one I started to get stronger and better and
and even my brother was like, damn, I can't, I can't bully him
anymore. Like, I can't beat him up.
But then two, my dad's like, oh man, my son's learning how to
fight and my dad was such an aggressive person that he's
definitely not the most educated.
Like my dad, my father couldn't read, you know, So he's like, if
I can teach you anything, basically.
One way to show you that I taught you something is if one
day you end up kicking my ass or beating me up, I taught you
well. Like, that's my job, well done.
That was what he wanted to teach me.
So for me, when I started to learn how to fight and I beat up
my brother and like, did certain things, he's like, yeah, like my
boys finally coming to it, you know.
And then him. And I was like, you know what?
Let me. I kind of, you know, saw his
background. I was like, you know what, man?
Let me, let me compromise. Let me swallow my pride and
forget about the trauma a little bit.
Like, let me move it to the side.
And then we started building a relationship at.
What age do you think that was 'cause that's some seems very
mature. Probably like 1718, 'cause I
know my junior year I was definitely like that cocky
teenager. And then when I finally lost, I
lost every first fight. Kickboxing, MMA, Muay Thai, all
that stuff. And after that I was like, oh
damn, I'm not as good as what I thought.
I need to train more, train harder.
Then he obviously supported it and then, you know, it all kind
of came together. So I think around 1718 years old
and then, you know, I would talk to him almost every day and then
figure stuff out. Was it hard before that, in your
adolescence? Like, did you love your father
before that? I mean, yeah, for sure.
I mean my my family. I remember in 4th grade my mom
the the last time because she's split up with him many times.
My my mom's actually put my dad in jail multiple times, great
times. My mom's a very, very powerful
woman, but she one day I go to school in 4th grade and I never
missed a day. Like I remember getting stitches
one day like I like that morning she goes no, no, you're still
going to school like I was like Ma the cat just bit me like I
got it like I got my cat bit me in my eyes.
No. You're going to school.
I had a virus for like 11 days. No.
Cat. Yeah, dude, my cat.
My dude, my cat was my cat was an asshole.
It was one of those, like, let me just look at you.
I was like, oh, what's up, Max? Oh, you're looking at me that
way. And he would just jump up and
bite me like my cat. And I used a fist fight.
It was great. It was actually really awesome.
I missed that cat. But my mom never let me miss
school. So one day, some girl's like,
hey, your mom's done. Serves to pick you up.
I just got to school. And I was like, you talk.
Shut up. What are you talking about?
She goes, No, your mom's here to pick you up.
Going downstairs, I'm like, what's up, Mom?
She goes, oh, we're going to go to Uncle's house real quick.
I was like, all right, I'll have to go to school.
And I don't know where. I'm at my uncle's house for six
months and I'm like, so where's Dad?
Where's my brother? You know, where's my brother had
his own house when he was 16 because they both kind of
abandoned the house. And my brother's like, all
right, well, I guess I'm just the random child left here by
myself. And my dad decided, obviously
he's like, well, she doesn't want me.
I should move out and so. When I was younger, and I know
my mom dated and obviously never told me, I was so like, I want
my dad, I want my dad, I miss my dad.
And then eventually she would let me see him and stuff like
that. But I was always thriving for
his attention because it was again, I was raised by my
mother. So it's like you want what you
don't have. So I always wanted his
attention. I always wanted to be like my
father, in a sense, did. It is that all?
Did it give you a weird, like understanding of what love was?
I I guess it's it's a weird thing to like again, we want
things when we can't have. Like for example, my mother's
giving me everything. I'm not saying I don't love my
mother. Obviously I love her to death
and I think for everything she's done but it's almost
accidentally or subconsciously belittled because it's like
thank you for everything, but I want that even though this is
all in a sense bad or trouble or or even just something I don't
have, you know. So it's like we always
appreciate the stuff we don't have, you know, and we'd kind of
minor or or minimize the stuff we we have in our hands now.
But my dad, it was just it was a different upbringing.
You know I was raised as in a sense the Goody 2 shoe.
So I was always like the good kid this that and then my dad
and my brother were like ah, we're rubbles like we're not
worried about it. We're going to do whatever and
then be careless and be free and and not have any regret.
And if we have regret, it's like it was worth it, you know.
So. And also just who doesn't want
to be their father's son? You know, for the most part.
You know, I guess, unless you're Sean Strickland, but, you know,
for the most part, Do you want to be your father's?
Shout out the chance. Yeah, shout out the chance.
Good luck tomorrow. I don't know when it's going to
air, but good luck tomorrow, you know.
So but that was the thing, you know, I I think I was I I can
compare myself to Goku's goal ability.
Or if you watch Hunter, Hunter Gone where he's just he's very
careless and very open. I forgive people very, very
fast. So, like, my father did stuff.
I was like, Nah, we're not in jail.
We're alive, whatever. Like it is what it is.
Let's forget about it. So I always got over things
very, very fast. So when my dad did stuff to me,
I was like, well, that ass kicking sucked.
Hey, so you want to play, you know?
And it was just like whatever to me.
Even still now, like, I forgive people very, very easily.
So when it came to my father, I never, It's very rare for me to
hold on to grudges unless you, like, really, really emotionally
hurt me. That's probably, And I think
that's also another characteristic of my father,
like, he physically hurt me. I'm a fighter.
I can take physical pain. I'm fine with it.
And it's probably a reason why I can.
But emotionals where it hurts. And for me, I never really got
emotionally hurt by certain people.
You know, it's probably been two or three people.
I'm like, yeah, I don't like you, you know?
But other like my father, I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm perfectly
fine with this stuff. I can get through it.
I'm alive and I probably minimize whatever pain.
But I've also worked through it enough to be like, cool.
We can have a mutual relationship because no matter
what, we're family. That's interesting.
So as a kid, like, did you feel wanted or loved?
You know what's crazy is because I started to study a lot of
psychology and why people act the way they do, and I was
actually talking to a friend yesterday.
We're like, we're both natural pleasers and it's like, why are
you a pleaser? Is it because the the hero or
bad guy aspect? Is it because you went through
this pain and never want to feel it again and never want anyone
else to feel it? So you do stuff to reciprocate
or because you felt that pain? Everyone else should feel that
pain too, you know? And for me, I guess I picked the
good guy thing where because my father didn't show me, I guess
the only physical affection I got was beatings for the most
part. And I definitely never got
verbal affection that for me, like my two love languages is
like physical touch and words of affirmation.
My dad obviously never really hugged me when I was a kid.
And he never spoke stuff because he was too much of AG, you know,
I was like, yeah, you don't need to be emotional.
You don't need to cry. You don't need to do this.
But as he got older, he would like slowly, you know, calm down
and show that stuff. I'm like, dude, where where was
this my whole childhood? This would have been great.
Before he started this chain and show you that side, did you have
a hard time kind of showing like a a sensitive side or or loving
side 'cause? I.
I just kind of, I don't understand how sometimes like
people go and they choose the same route and they'd be, you
know, that bad person as well, or they shift and they'd be the
way you ended up. You know, my my mother, you
know, taught me a lot when it came to just in a sense quote UN
quote, being a gentleman, you know, because my father in a
sense, at times was a piece of shit.
She's like, yeah, you shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that.
And there was a lot of natural complaints about that.
So it's like, OK Corn obviously at the time wanted to be
different than my father when it came to emotions.
So it's like, all right Corn, I need to show love.
I need to show this. And I'm a very touchy person
naturally. So I really enjoy you.
I don't just say thank you. Like I want to give you a hug,
like I want to show you some stuff.
I. Just did it today out of nowhere
to me, yeah. I just.
Kicked over the chair in the kitchen and just gave me a hug
before he gets in the shower. And I was just like, OK, love
you. Yeah, I see in a SEC.
We got to get out of here. Hurry the fuck up.
I'm one of those people like I'm a natural flirt too so like
yesterday we we went to we we we went to a restaurant you love
love dude I'm I'm so again everything I didn't get I want
to give so I didn't get that for my father I definitely got for
my mother and again amazing stuff Obviously there could have
been improvements on certain things in this nest.
So for me I try to just give as much as I possibly can but I'm
also very ADHD so my battery once it goes low I'm like I got
a my code word is hide. So I was like yeah I got to hide
and it's like leave me alone. I'm probably having an anxiety
attack or I need to put on my headphones, recharge or a day by
myself. So there are a lot of moments in
my life and we've talked about it like I lost the three biggest
things that I ever wanted in my life to where like, I had no
purpose anymore. So for me, you know, you if you
wake up without a goal, man, you're just going day by day.
It's a really boring day and then doesn't make you excited to
wake up the next day. And you're like, I do this
again. That's why a lot of people hate
their nine to fives, because it's very typical.
There's no real end goal. There's like, we're just going
to work until retirement and then whatever.
Me, I have goals. All my purposes were gone.
I got my, my goals set and then they were, they were taken away
from me, you know, whether it was in my control, out of my
control. And I was like, well, shit, what
I wanted to live for. Not saying I want to take my own
life, but if a car was about to hit me, I probably wouldn't
move, you know? So for me, it was like finding
different ways to cope with a lot of things, trying to see if
maybe they'll be other purposes that come in the plan of like,
Oh my gosh, I do like that. Maybe, yeah, I can do this.
And then also just finding out emotionally how I react to
certain things, especially when you're so traumatized from
whatever you've gone through to be able to figure out what your
triggers are and how to maneuver around them.
Because no matter what, like I said with my father, there's
always trauma with that. Same to my mother, same to other
family and friends. There's always trauma with it.
But even if they apologize, even if they've done anything, if you
can't get through it, then you're always going to rethink
that. So like, I I my last
relationship, I was engaged. I remember telling her I was
like, your image of me has changed and certain some people,
the image will never go back, you know, it's like from good to
bad. And it never doesn't matter if
I'm 10 times the man of what you thought of me as I'm maybe I'm
100 times better. You will always still look at
that bad image. And because you haven't thrown
that away, that's always going to be thrown in my face.
So what's the point? So let me just better myself or
someone else, or just better myself for life compared to
always reminding you of the trauma and you now getting over
it. So that's why for me, I We all
make mistakes about whatever we do in our life.
Father's definitely made plenty. But I also looked back at it and
realized he didn't know. He had no guidance.
He had no father figure. His mom beat the shit out of
him. The reason why we got
disciplined that way. And there's other things.
So I'm like, you know what? I'm not forgiving you in a
sense, but this makes sense. Why?
You only know this. You understand.
So it's like, you know what? I'm going to give you a little
bit of a caveat. Cool.
I got you. Thank you for everything.
You tried your best, but technically my life is better
because of what you've done. So let me, you know, try to just
let it go. And that's a 100% of personal
thing. You know, I have to Wait, what's
it? It doesn't matter what people do
to you. It's how you react to it.
So for me, that's why I'm so calm and so, you know,
methodical of things, because it's just like, all right, well,
I'm alive, not in jail, and I can still live my life fully,
right? So let me do so.
But every, every which way you articulated it right now, it's
like really advanced. Was that just from childhood and
analyzing all of this internally since then, or have you done a
lot of therapy work? Well, it's funny, 'cause I've
gone to therapy thanks to my ex. She's like, you need to go to
therapy. I was like, you know what?
Yeah, I'm. I'm fucked up.
And every time I've gone to therapy and given, I definitely
didn't find the right therapist, they're just trying to give me
medicine. They're like, oh, you need
anxiety pills or you're this. Now it's like, dude, I don't
want to drug up. I want to be me.
But normal, you know, I don't want to be like, again, when I
was a kid, I made HD. They want to give you all these
things that calm you down. But then you're a little zombie
and I'm like, I don't, I don't want that.
You know, I'm just a a shell of myself and I don't, I don't need
that for me when I lost my 3 purposes.
So for example, I lost my UFC career.
I did all these things and your whole life you work for
something, have the resume for it too.
But then it's out of your control and they're like, yeah,
no, go fuck yourself. And you're like, but I have
everything like, yeah, OK, we don't care.
It's like all right. This is really, really unfair.
So that makes me it belittled what I wanted to do and
belittled me with all the stuff I had.
My excessive presume. And then my father dies, my best
friend, my purpose and just things.
Why I did the everything you know or even just try to live up
to. And then my fiance, who for me,
I'm a very big commitment guy, had a five year and a seven-year
relationship. So I'm like, let me, I'm giving
you my life in a sense. I want to have a family with
you. I want to start, you know, kids,
all that stuff. And then slowly you work so hard
for something and then it goes away.
And I started to realize that was a cherry on top where these
two things happened 1st and instead of venting to her, I'm
accidentally emotionally taken out on her.
And I'm like when when she finally left.
Now I'm 100% alone, have no choice but to take that alone.
Time to go. And it was COVID, so even
fucking better. And I'm like, I have no choice
but to work on myself. If not, I'm going to fucking
destroy myself. Were you able to make all of
these observations at that time, though?
At the end of everything, when I was fully alone, especially in
the COVID, I remember, yeah, there's hope of like, oh, let's
get this relationship back, stuff like that.
I remember writing notes in my, like, anytime I think of
whatever argument we had or little things, I'm like, oh,
shit, that's what she meant, you know?
And I'm just writing down stuff. And I would take all these notes
and read them back to myself. I have right now my laptop like
75 pages of notes to be like, in a sense, like a journal to be
like, oh, this is what I thought about to, in a sense, better
myself for you. And then in a sense, I also had
to lose that hope that she was going to come back to stop being
so Co dependent. Because I'm holy shit I am very
Co dependent on this person in my life.
Basically it's what's that Sean Kingston song?
It's like these girls got you thinking about suicide when they
leave, you know, it's like holy shit that he was right.
When a girl or or whoever your partner finally leaves, how do
you feel about it? Can you still live?
A lot of people don't want. To wait, how did that explain to
you that you were Co dependent on her?
Well, because she was. She was around that.
Every time I had a problem, I would go to her.
I would rely on her, whether it was attention, whether it was
somebody to talk to, to vent my emotions out.
I'm a very physical touch person.
Sometimes I would just ignore myself and just want sex and
just like, oh, I'm just coping with that.
That's my coping mechanism or whatever the case may be.
So I would do a lot of things that relied on her or needed her
to be there. So when she left, I'm like, oh
oh shit, I don't who do I talk to?
Well, I don't want to talk to anybody else.
Like, it's like, no offense. I just, I just mentioned it's
like I don't want to bring out everything because I don't know
what you're going to do with the information.
I don't trust you. I don't feel comfortable.
But her, I did. So now I had no one to talk to.
The only person I had was to talk to myself.
I don't know if you ever had a really, really deep conversation
with yourself. Like in a sense, like your
conscious versus your real self, you're like, holy shit, I'm
fucked up. Like when you really start to
say stuff out loud, you're like, damn, that's not the right way
to think about stuff. And I would write, I would
journal it down, think about the same situation maybe a couple
days later and go you know what, let me read this again and see
if it actually makes sense. And I was talking to him about
it. I was like, you ever overthink a
situation? And.
And we all do. And you go to explain it to a
friend. And in the process of explaining
it to a friend, you want to speak as clearly as possible so
you don't sound stupid. And the way you put it out,
you're like, wait, this actually sounds really stupid.
Oh dude, my bad. I I overthought it and like you
end end up answering your own questions.
So that's in a sense because I was alone.
I was doing that to myself because I didn't want to sound
stupid. But reading these notes, I'm
like, oh damn, I'm giving myself anxiety.
Oh man, I'm giving myself this, oh man, I'm I'm not thinking
clearly or every type of scenario, especially when I was
trying to cope from that relationship.
So I didn't bring my trauma into the next one.
I'm like, why did she think this way?
Let me figure out, you know, 'cause I was, I date my
opposite. So, you know, like, I'm a very.
I'm a huge extrovert. She was a very big introvert.
Not, like, introverts. That's just my thing.
My, the Wednesday type. That's, that's the thing.
So I don't know how you think. I don't know why you're so calm.
Naturally. I don't know why you don't care
about people's attention. Me, I'm like, I'm like a dog
shaking my tail, like somebody play with me.
So being able to think outside the box and to her head or just
other people's heads, it's like, oh, that's why they think this
way. Oh that's why they, you know, go
through certain things. Cool.
It makes me better understand myself and how to react to
people with certain certain scenarios.
So it was I was just journal. I would journal watch Ted talks.
Anime actually helped me out a lot.
You know, dealing with your past and traumas.
Cowboy Bebop is about dealing with your past.
Samurai Champloo is about finding a purpose.
Full met alchemist brotherhood. And I mean, there's so many
freaking things about that. But also being open to different
perspectives because there's so many different character plots
in it. Damn, like I it was COVID.
There's not much you can do besides for me, train and then
that's it. Eating, sleep, and then do it
again. There weren't fights for me.
I was overseas, so I would watch an anime.
I'd do 2 hour drives. Like every day.
I would put on Ted Talks about whatever situation, grief,
relationship, stuff, get over, no breakup.
How to find a purpose, Dude, I was.
I was doing everything I can possibly.
I was listening to songs. You don't really listen to a
song until you're hurt and you're like, oh, I know it's
depressing song. I'm going to listen to.
Holy, that's what they've been saying this whole time.
Like, Oh my gosh, you know, so you start to pay attention more.
So I was, in a sense, trying to do what I could to survive
mentally. Like, I don't want to be a shell
of myself. And because of all that stuff,
I'm now probably 10 times the man I was in that relationship.
And just furthermore, not even the hope of that coming back,
but just kind of like, holy shit, like, it's more of me not
saying like, I want that relationship back.
It's more just like, hey, I want to go back and say thank you
because you helped make me into that.
You know, you leave and actually help me.
In the long term, definitely short term fucked me up.
But in the long term, it's like, Oh my gosh, thank you.
Like, hell yeah, you were part of this growth and journey.
Like people are here for a certain amount of time, your
family life, you know, whatever the case may be.
So it's like just thank you for your moments, the good, the bad,
everything in between and like wish you the best of luck and go
from. There.
How did you know that at the end of it, this was going to be the
result, though? Like, I feel like myself, most
people, you don't even know what to work on.
So you would use Ted Talks or Podcasts shows to kind of make
it numb and like forget about that stuff.
For me, because everything I wanted was gone, I had no choice
but to work on stuff. So I had to figure out the three
things like, OK, what bothers me from all three things?
Well, I had a purpose. I have no purpose now because
this was fighting was my thing, or at least the UFC, and that's
time. Bellator wasn't as big.
PFLI don't believe was around. Brave is maybe two years old,
you know? So there wasn't any other
competition that would financially sustain me and then
also emotionally sustain me. Or, like, I'm on TV.
I'm, you know, flying around the world, do this and that.
So I had to figure out a different purpose.
All right. So I looked at that.
You know, it's like, do I have goals?
What do I want to do? So I need to figure that out.
My father, I think the the first and foremost thing was grief.
How do you grieve? I don't read.
I hate reading anything mental. I hate doing.
But I was like, I I got to read books and I would literally sit
there and read a whole book in a day because I had so much
anxiety. I was like, I got to get this
done. I also just cram things in.
But I was reading like Deepak Chopra books and you know, the
four atonements and all these different things to like, just
figure stuff out mentally. How did you know that was going
to benefit you though? Like, is it the books you were
reading it? Didn't the the I always tell
people no matter what you do, we talked about scrambling earlier.
We talked about just life in general.
Why I I like to say when people go like, oh, how are you doing
today? I was like, oh, I'm alive, you
know, trying every day. And some people will say the
same thing. They're like, Oh yeah, I'm just
trying to get through the damn, like, dude, that's all that
matters. I don't care what you're doing.
As long as you're trying, even if it's in the whole wrong
direction, you're still trying. No one knows the right answer,
but you might find a way after that.
So I I use the you're a fighter. I use the example of scrambling.
If as long as you're moving, there's action, there's
something, but if you stay still, nothing's going to
change. But you go screw it, I'm going
this direction. Might not be the right
direction, but you'll find out in the process of going, damn, I
end up putting myself deeper in the hole.
OK, cool. Let's turn around and go the
other direction. Now because obviously that way
wasn't the right way, then let me go back the other way.
So just trying gives you an open opportunity of like, hey,
there's other avenues, but if you just go, well, I'm fucked.
All this trauma is never going to get through.
I'm not going to get through anything or whatever the case
may be. As long as you're trying,
there's opportunity. So for me, I was like, let me
read. Like that was my cry for help.
I I don't read. So I was like, oh, most of the
stuff that you don't want to do is actually going to help you.
So I was like, oh, I got to read.
It's like you're for strikers that hate training jiu jitsu and
avoid it. They're like, oh dude, I hate
it. I was like, oh, that's probably
because you're bad at it. So you need to train it.
It's the same thing. I was like, you know what, man,
Let me read. Maybe I'll find something that
mentally helps me. Even if it's one line out of a
500 page book, it might help me. And then it might open up an
Ave. or something else. Oh, hey, look at that.
Deepak Chopper or whatever does Ted talks or.
Cool. Let me look at oh, look at
Steven Pitt or what's his name, Jordan Peterson and all these
different guys. Oh, cool.
Jordan Peterson. Oh, he's actually introducing me
to this guy now and then. Even comedians.
You know, Theo Vaughn is now emotionally speaking about
stuff. Oh, that's cool.
Let me listen to him. Oh, man, he's talking about real
stuff. Oh, Sean Strickland with father
issues. Oh, man, Me too.
You know it's like, oh they slowly, you know, it's a
snowball effect but if you don't move then there's nothing.
So for me, I was just trying every single Ave.
And plus I'm such a pleaser at heart that I don't want to put
my emotional pain on anyone, whether my friends, a future
relationship, even just a random girl I'm dating.
Like I don't want to do that. I want to be worse than the
worst. At the time I was so not willing
to live that I was never see like Vegeta where he's like the
final atonement. Like this is my last time you
might see me. So let's enjoy this to the
fullest. This is the last memory going to
have of me, more than likely at the time of the way I was
thinking. So I want you to be like, man,
that dude in any sort of way was dope.
He did this for me, did that for me.
So for me, I live like it's my last day because in a sense, I
died years ago. So now I'm like, you know what,
Let's just see if I'm really alive.
Let me enjoy my life to the fullest.
And you know, when I die, it's where I get hurt.
She's like, it ain't as worse as what I already lost, so I'm
good. Did you ever reach like a like a
deep point of depression or even like suicidal at any point?
I looked at a couple things. So I definitely actually look, I
hit my car one day and some lady, like, stopped a couple
inches. That was just one of those,
like, accidents. I wasn't trying to get hit, but
I also didn't move. And she's like, you know, pull
her in front of me and she has a convertible.
She's like, why didn't you move? And I like Whisper.
I'm like, why the fuck did you hit me?
Sorry, sorry. You know, it just kept on
moving. Plus she had a Mercedes, so
insurance had been great. But.
I noticed when my father passed away, subconsciously my coping
mechanism was food. So I was binge eating so much
and then running in 90° weather and Florida humidity with the
saw on the top and bottom. And I'd go outside and run for
40 minutes and I would take myself on routes where you had
no choice but to run to that direction.
And then when I turned around, I'm like, yeah, I'm back.
And then I was like, I'm hoping I pass out.
I'm hoping I get a heat stroke and die.
Like, you know, I'm hoping something happens to where,
like, I just don't make it. So I didn't know I was doing
that. I thought I was just working
hard. I'm like, God damn, I ate a lot.
All right, cool. I got to, you know, run and do
this. But little.
I know, I'm actually killing myself little by little.
What do you think kept you from, like, directly being suicide or
wanting to end the pain? I'm too much of A pleaser and I
got a mother. I have family, you know, they
take care of, like, I also financially take care of people.
So I know, like, even though I don't have my own personal
family, kids and stuff like that that I know of.
I deny a lot of calls, but. Following Daddy's footsteps.
Don't take an ancestry. Don't fall.
You don't want to know. For me, I is honestly, as much
as I wanted to, I also, you know, shout out to these guys,
merging veterans and players. We call each other MVP.
It's veterans from military and then former professional
athletes. The camaraderie of it's over.
What do we do now, dude, these guys go through so much stuff
and Kamara Uzman stated it. And I know I saw it in a
different video of if we go into a room with a bunch of people
and we all put our bullshit in the middle of a pile, you're
going to want to take your bullshit back because you're
like, yo, I'm, I'm just going through this and I'm upset.
I don't have no clue how you're doing it.
You know, like everyone sadly somehow has it worse.
So you got to find a way to to get through it.
So for me, as much as I 100% wanted to end it because I had
no purpose for months, almost a whole year, and I did a lot of
really, really, really stupid stuff, then I was like, you
know, man, fuck it. Let's just see where this goes.
And if I die again, I died, you know, last year.
So then let's just keep on going.
And if it finally, you know, somehow ends up taking myself
out or the world takes me out, then so be it.
I don't really care. But I never wanted to.
I also think because I'm so competitive, I never quit a
sport, so I also never wanted to quit life.
If I, you know, if that makes sense, I was like, you know,
man, let me just keep on going. And if the world takes me out
because I'm doing really, really stupid stuff subconsciously,
then so be it. But for me, I could never.
I don't think I have the balls. I do it either, you know?
Also, I'm too indecisive. And if I go out, I want to go
out with a bang. So I'm like, do I do it with a
gun? Do I jump off a building?
Like, what do I do? You know?
So I was like, what? What's the coolest way?
Like, yo, he jumped off this Cliff.
At least he did a backflip. Like, yeah, like something.
Yo. So I was like, man, I'm but.
You couldn't even be allowed to get to that point because of how
you love your family and being the people pleaser.
It's it's that man, I I was just, I couldn't do it because
of them. Like I I can 100% say with full
confidence, if I took myself out, my mother for sure, my
brother would take himself out. Would my brother's very suicidal
naturally, you know, because he's been through a lot of shit.
If I took myself out, I take out his reason to live.
Even though he has kids, Like he's also, in a sense, my
father, in a way, he would 100% take himself out.
And if my brother took himself out and I'm already gone, my
mom, I don't know how she would live and she never, ever
deserves that pain. You know, Obviously I have the
life I have because of her, so it's like I can never be able to
do that. So that's that's that's
something that I'm not at all putting down people who've
committed suicide or thought of suicide.
But that's the hardest thing was like, you're so low in your head
that you're like, dude, fuck everybody.
Like, I don't care. I'm sorry I'm going to put you
guys through this pain, but I'm in so much pain.
I don't care. Like that's how low you have to
be. So it's like for me, I I guess
in a point, I wasn't that low to where I wanted to live for them.
So I was like, you know what, man?
Let me try. And you always want to make your
family proud, right? So as I slowly started to pick
myself up, I started to do more. I was like, oh, shit, this
snowball's rolling. All right, cool.
Let me oh shit, it went back down a little bit.
But no, no, no, let's figure it out.
You know, again, it can't 100% even still today, well, 100%
never be worse than what I had at that point in my life,
because everything was already gone.
So what I wanted even. So today is gone.
I still want new things, but if I never get it, sure, I'm still
going to go for it. But I'm I already lost
everything I wanted, so it is what it is.
So a lot of it really does come down to the perspective.
It's 100% perspective. Again, it's how you react to
things like material things or whatever.
For me, I'm happy. Like that's that's a big thing
to say. And it's not just happy, but I'm
also at peace that when shit goes and hits the fan, which
we've talked about plenty of times.
All right, well, today's just that day.
I'll figure it out. I've gone through all my
bullshit before and again, I've already gone through the worst
things that I could possibly go through.
So it's already done, you know? So let me This is bad, but it's
not as bad. So let me just keep on going and
see how it goes. Yeah, we.
Were literally having this conversation last night.
Yeah, we have a lot of random, deep conversations.
It's actually really funny because we.
Go from talking shit. Yeah, I was like that though.
I was just about it. Like, we talk shit and then
we're like, oh dude, this that, man, fuck you.
I just think the way that you processed it, everything was
just, it's so unique. Like, I don't think most people
end up there like you went through stuff as well, right?
Like were you able to process things that way?
Mine. We talked a lot, yeah.
Yeah. The thing is that, like, so when
we first kind of like reconnected out here in Vegas, I
was just kind of going, I was going through a really rough
breakup and I was just getting out here to Vegas.
And I was kind of going through the process of what he was
talking about, about being alone.
Because my family is huge. My dad was one of nine kids, so
I have like hundreds of cousins. And like, I was just always used
to a really busy household. And so whenever I moved out here
to Vegas, I didn't have any friends, any family.
It was just me training. And then I had to sit with
myself outside of that, like and fight.
Camp's already lonely in itself. And I didn't, you know, I wasn't
close to anyone on the team yet. So I I was just in the process
and he came out here maybe like 3 months, four months after
that. And then we sat down and it was
like just as I was starting to heal a little bit from that and
we were able to really connect on like all of these points that
we're talking about breakup career.
Not for me. It was not being where I wanted
to be in my career and not knowing because I was coming off
the loss. I wasn't sure if I was ever
going to get to the heights of where I saw myself and where I I
still believe that I'll be. And going through the breakup.
I was also very codependent on my partner, and I didn't even
realize that until I was alone by myself.
And then we obviously talked about our father's death.
And then my my father actually passed away 3 weeks before a
fight that I was supposed to have as well.
But luckily they had pushed that back like six weeks, so it gave
me a little time. How long ago has it been now
since your father passed? It was November 11th of 2021, so
we're coming up on three years next November.
So a little, a little over 2 years, yeah.
So I can remember saying this at at my dad, it was, I just wanted
to touch on this because we were talking about it before because
you're you're going through stuff too.
I can remember saying at my dad's funeral, he had called me
the night before he died and it was so abrupt and I was just
like at the time I was working two jobs.
I was training for a fight. I was three weeks out from a
fight. So I'm right in the middle of
the camp and I'm going between houses.
Me and my girl at the time, we had just got her own place.
And my dad was working in Wisconsin, so we were going
between houses. I had my son.
I'm working two jobs, I'm training, got all the shit
going. He just called me just to talk
and just be like, hey, what's up?
How you doing? Blah, blah, blah, you know, like
bullshit. And I was like, so just like,
caught. I think I was like, just getting
home from the gym. I had to go pick my son up like
you, you know, the struggle. And I'm, I'm running all over
the place. And I was just like, what's up,
man? Like what?
What do you want to talk about? Like?
And he's just like, nothing, dude.
I just wanted to catch up. And I was just like, let me call
you tomorrow. Like, I got so much shit going.
And then I was at the gym. I had a missed call from him.
I tried to call him back and he didn't answer.
I didn't hear anything. Called him back again later that
day. Didn't hear anything.
And then I ended up getting a call from the medical examiner's
office that evening. And I just remember just, like,
breaking down. And like, the thing that I said
at the funeral was just like, man, life is so short.
Everything's so abrupt. Like, you really don't know,
like, what's going to come tomorrow.
You don't even know if tomorrow's going to come, So you
have to take time out for your loved ones and you have to treat
every day like it's gonna be your last day.
Every, every conversation might be your last conversation,
whether it's the other person's gonna pass or it's you.
So you know that that was something that that like we
really connected on how. Like how badly did that affect
you, that being your last conversation with him?
Yeah, that that really fucked me up really bad because him and I
had a lot of ups and downs in our relationship because he he
was a man man. He was a man's man.
Like he didn't play no shit. So like I caught my fair share
of ass whoopins and you know, but I know, I know that he loved
me and he did take care of me and actions speak a lot louder
than words and that's what I was thinking about whenever he said
that and you asked him did you feel loved as a kid?
I I I really felt that because like I did feel loved as a kid
for sure. Like I knew I was loved through
the actions of being taken care of.
But you like, you're maybe not necessarily like held and like
told like oh I love you so much, blah blah blah.
So like, that's something I try to do with my son every time.
Sorry and. Then it's also like signing the
little things. For example, like my my father
was very introverted. So it's like the little things
that you do like hey, good job and I walk away and that's it.
And then but that is fucking. Everything.
Yeah. Yeah.
But he hears me, like whenever I'm talking to my son on the
phone or whatever and I'm just always, I love you.
I love, you know, I love you so much.
And then I hear the way you talk to your son, right.
And that that actually influences me.
Like the way you tell your son you're proud of him, like, hey,
good job, good job, son. You know, like that that I think
that's really fucking cool. And that's something that I
really try to do. And I would like working on my
communication. My father wasn't the best
communicator either. So you know there was like a lot
of aggression like taken out or like, you know, like just like
pop off at something. So I try to just like slow down
and just communicate the best as possible.
So yeah, that conversation or that that last conversation that
we had, it did really fuck me up for a long time.
And it took a little bit for me to like tell myself that that
was OK because we had shared we man, sorry.
We had shared fuck, we had shared so many other memories.
And he, like I knew at the end of the day he was proud of who I
was and who I was becoming in the process.
So it wasn't like, that's not that doesn't define our
relationship, even though that that really affected me and
really hurt me. And like, sorry, This is good.
This is good shit right here. This is good shit.
You guys better appreciate this. I just.
Want to say I'm going to make so much fun of you later?
Do you? Remember when you cried on that
podcast? You fucking pussy.
Remember that other podcast you cried?
So, yeah, but but you know, it's just like I said, it just, it
doesn't define the relationship. And you have to.
One thing for me is like when he passed, almost all of those bad
memories became like very distant and you start to just
remember the good times and you start.
You can laugh at at a certain point, you heal to a point where
you can laugh at even like the bad memories and like the shit
where they fucked up. And you're like that crazy
motherfucker, like that's wild. But like it, you know, whenever
it first happens, it's like so fresh that you're just like
anything you see, you'll just fucking drop of a dime.
You start fucking bawling your eyes out and like you can't even
contain yourself. And like, obviously I'm still
like emotional about it. But like, now I can talk about
it. Now I can deal with it now you
know it. Oh, it it takes time.
I. Feel like every time now you
talk about it probably helps heal even just a little bit
more. Absolutely, absolutely Ben.
That's why we. I think we got so close is
because we can just we could we could just open up about
anything and we understood where each other came from.
Where like not everyone has like a lot of same experiences where
we were in like a very similar position except he was a little
farther along with his career life, goals and understanding
like the passing of a relationship and a parent and
all these things. And so he kind of helped guide
me through that as well. It's definitely a process.
So whenever, like we've talked about on other shows and stuff
about him kind of playing like a Big Brother role in my life,
like that's definitely has a huge, huge part of it.
And is that part of, you know, being able to give others what
you didn't have seeing him? Yeah, like now you get to play
that Big Brother role. I've I've always wanted to be a
father and a Big Brother. You know, I have obviously the
opportunity to be a father one day.
But for me as a Big Brother, because I was always the
youngest, you know, I wanted to be able to do certain things.
And when I didn't have it, especially growing up in the
ghetto in Chicago and this, that whatever the case might be, I
just wanted to give it to other people.
So I would always actually hang out with younger like kids.
I'm like, yo, I got you guys this that when I was when I was
19, I went back to my old college and or my old high
school and we had like a kids program and there was two kids,
Josh and Igor, at the time. They were, I believe, 11, and I
took care of them for eight years.
Like, there's like, hey, can we hang out after after, you know,
wrestling season? I was like, yeah, ask your
parents. They were orphans.
Or one was a orphan and one was adopted.
And so I was just like, I mean, ask your parents, I don't care.
And another reason why I don't like medicine, like ADHD
medicine, 'cause they both were so mental and traumatized from
their stuff. And when I say their life was
fucked up, it was fucked that I was like, dude, you guys are
really good with me. You don't need your medicine.
Yeah, and then they hang out the the adopted older parents, they
would take advantage because one of them would only he would only
listen if he was intimidated, and the other one, he would only
listen if you like, brought a presence, if that makes sense,
Like if you can actually verbally discipline him in a
proper way. We was like, oh shit, you make
sense. Like logically then he would
listen to you and the other one was physical because he grew up
in Russia, one of those, you know, Russian orphanages like he
need. If he wasn't intimidated
physically by you, he would not listen, you know?
So like, I was obviously a fighter, so I'm like, dude, I'll
beat the shit out of you and but those kids, and I love them to
death, they're like, my God kids in a sense.
One of them is actually my godson.
And other ones, like my fake nephew is what he calls me his
fake uncle. So I took care of him for like
8-9 years and you know, watched him grow up.
So I've always wanted to be a Big Brother and father figure.
So when I see stuff to where him and I relate, you know, even
though he's what, you're a year younger than me, You know, it's
like even people who are older than me, I was like, oh damn,
you haven't gone through this yet, huh?
I was like, here, let me give you my two cents.
If it relates to you, awesome. If not, take a couple pieces and
cool. This is what I want.
All right then. Then take your own little way.
It's like me and my career. I'm going to give you guys a
blueprint. And then after a certain while,
it's like, all right, I'm going to divert my own little path.
Now this is my journey, you know, And then that's your own
little way. This is mine.
And hopefully you make it past. That's I guess the process of
being a Big Brother and a father figure.
So that's usually my goal, but something that I want to bring
up for you about, like the argument with your father.
So my brother brought this up to me a while back.
My brother and father's relationship has always been,
you know, like physical altercations, all that stuff.
And my dad had a tendency would always call my brother for
stuff. So my brother's like, man, fuck
him. I don't want to, you know, talk
to him this that whatever the case can be.
And it was my dad's birthday. My brother that night before,
he's bipolar and he's also gone through a lot of like, shit that
he's mentally just unstable sometimes.
And he definitely has his own trauma to work through as well.
But he he's like, dude, I had a a gun in my hand and I wanted to
shoot myself. And then literally, like, dad
called me and was like, hey, it's my birthday.
You know, Angel, my middle name. He's like Angel's overseas mom's
at work. You want to you want to hang
out? My dad is a very, very big
introvert and my brother's like, all right man, let's fuck it
like it's your birthday. Whatever.
I'll get over the argument we just had.
They went out and my brother's like, man, this is nice.
Like, he had a good day. He's still mad trying not to,
like, let it come up. But he's like, you know what,
man? It's his birthday.
I'm just going to try to ignore whatever bullshit I'm going
through right now. And then the argument we just
had and he do, my dad was doing stuff.
It was like, give or hear people the day before they die, Like,
if they have cancer, whatever the case may be the day before
they die, they like, have that one last day of full energy.
They feel great. It's like they're their body
telling them, like, hey, here's your last hurrah, enjoy
yourself. My dad was like, dude, let's go
to the mall again. A very big introvert.
He's like, let's go to the mall, let's hang out with people.
He goes to Denny's and starts hugging.
Like, waitresses are randomly hugging him.
My dad's not a hugger. And I was like, he's telling me
the story. I'm like, yeah, that's what we
did. I'm like, dude, what?
What the fuck? You had the best day ever.
You know, the best last day ever.
And then he's like, yeah. And then in a sense, dad died in
his arms, you know, put him in the in the ambulance and stuff
like that. I was like, I, as as sad as it
is, like, I would have loved that.
Like, obviously I'm overseas hearing this shit.
You know, like it's, it's, it's kind of like I'm not at all
relating it to this, but it's like putting your dog down, you
know, it'd be like, all right, cool pie, you know, thanks for
all the years. And then you just leave.
It's like, Nah, man, let's, you know, be with my dog together,
'cause that's a happy moment. Like, hey, you make me feel
comfortable going to the other side, you know?
So, like, dude, Dad, you were the last person Dad saw.
That's fucking awesome. You know, as sad as it is, like,
good for you, that's an honor, you know, like you're in your
son's arms, you know, passing away.
That's how the cycle of life should be.
And he's like, honestly, as sad as it is, I'm glad I picked up
the phone that day because I was so depressed that I was like,
man, fuck it, It's his birthday. Let's hang out with him, do
whatever. It's like, that's why I got over
stuff. Because you just never know of
like, you know what, man, it is what it is, What said is said,
what's done. It's been done.
It's not going to change anything, whether you apologize
or not. Cool.
Let's hang out. Come on.
You know, like and I try to be as mutual as possible because
you just never know, you know. So for me, that's why I get over
things fast, 'cause you just never know.
I try my best to tell my brother that as well.
And the same thing with just life in general of like you
understand the bullshit's going to happen, Cool, let's try to
find a way to divert it and just kind of go with the flow and
enjoy stuff to the fullest. Cause no matter what, it might
always still be there, but it doesn't mean you still can't
enjoy yourself so. How have you not had a kid yet?
That's a good fucking question. Game really strong, OK?
Dive in RAW. And I'm always with the condom.
That's boring, dude. I'm I that's.
What I tell him every. Trust me.
I know you.
Have that much time on your hands.
Dude, I'm, it's crazy, 'cause I'm such a hypochondriac.
Like, I thought I had everything when I was a kid.
Like I'd have an hitch. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I gotta
get tested. Can you tell him the?
Yeah, one story, dude. I remember.
I remember one time I have fun with the girl overseas.
OK and I I ended up going to like 3 different continents in
two months and and I had like 14 flights in those two months but
like all different time changes. Y'all went from like, you know,
Chicago all the way to Kazakhstan to Bahrain to Abu
Dhabi back all the way to Rome and the back of Chicago.
So like the time periods are like, fucking me up if you don't
know jet lag, WebMD fuck you is if you type in jet lag.
Every symptom of jet lag is the same symptom for like HIV AIDS,
dude. And so like, I'm I'm, I just
had, you know, phoned this woman, great woman, when I'd say
whatever the case may be, you know, protecting myself was all
good. But I'm mental at the time,
super, super mental. And I'm just like do I feel like
shit no matter what I'm doing? I don't feel better, but I'm jet
lagged. I'm literally going country to
country, different time zones back and forth, never getting a
chance to get acclimated. Once I do, I go somewhere else.
And so I'm, I feel like I'm fucking dying.
The the ring announcer who was fine with me majority of the
time, he ended up in the hospital because of how Jet
lagged. He was older, individual.
And so for me, I'm just like, man, at least for you it's your
heart. Because he already had like
heart attacks before. So I'm like, oh, it's your heart
for me. I dude, I think I'm dying of
AIDS. Like, I'm like, I'm pretty sure
I have AIDS. Like I dude, I was so mental
with it. It was fucking bad.
And I remember, like, taking, like, blood tests and like,
yeah, you're good. I was like, no, you need to
check again. Like, I'm pretty sure I have
AIDS. Like, I won't be happy until you
tell me I have AIDS. Like, 'cause I don't know what
the fuck's going on with. It What made you think you had
AIDS? It was just because, like I at
the time I had, I had an open relationship.
So, like, we got to mess around, 'cause I traveled so much was
like, hey, man, I just want to have my fun.
She's like, yeah, whatever, do your thing.
Just be safe. And then I had my fun.
And literally days after I'm just like.
You fucked a dude. No, God, no.
I'm just like, it was it was like, lady boy, it's different.
Not really a dude. It's pretty much a dude.
Blurred lines, but I'm just. Like.
I didn't know, but I was just like, man, I'm, I don't fucking
feel good. And I was taking all these blood
tests and just, yeah, I was like, anybody got any
antibiotics, Like just in case, like I was just I was dumb as
fuck. Like, later on, like like we
talk about traumas. Like when you think about it's
like, well, I really overthought that situation.
Like, dude I. That's hilarious.
So for. For me, for me, I'm super safe.
Like, I literally got tested. I get tested every three months.
Just because, you know, I like to have my fun, do my thing by
my hypochondriac, so I make sure I'm clean.
I've always got condoms, especially 'cause I travel a
lot. Like, I don't know who the fuck
I'm running into. Like you can tell me all the
stuff up front, but we talk about slots like I call
bullshit, yeah. We roll it up, we're we're
trying to live lifestyle. So you never know what's going
to happen on the drop of a dime all.
Right. And yeah, we both have our
types. Any who?
What is your type? You want to tell my Dick?
Darkness Slayer. Apparently the Darkness Slayer.
So yeah, yeah, The Dark. The slave you.
Like to bring light to the dark? It's something like that, you're
just trying. To have some Olympic babies.
It's honestly, is that what it is?
That's really what I want. I just want I want.
I want tall, dark, tall, dark and handsome babies.
That's really all I care about. What about you?
Be like Auggie. My baby Mama is a tall, thick
white girl. OK, yeah.
So I like. I like them tall, thick white
girls, but I'm more like sway Lee.
You know, like bad bitches is my only type.
I don't get too crazy. We're.
Both ass guys, so it's great. Yes, yes.
Yeah. We appreciate the the curves.
Yeah. Your son, he's this healing
Vegas or he's back in a? He's actually moving to Vegas on
February 1st. Oh, no way.
So I'll have him full time out here with how excited are you
for that, dude? It's such a blessing, man.
I'm. Gonna have a A play, play
partner. Yeah, Sparring partner, yeah.
That too about. The same same weight class,
Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna fuck him up.
He's gonna wear a Spider man outfit.
A company's a green guy. Yeah, he never takes the Spider
Man outfit off. But yeah, he's he's moving out
here full time. And that's just, you know, like
I don't have to tell you. It's the only thing that really
matters in life. Like like everything that him
and I are talking about. Like it is my ultimate purpose.
Like whenever I look at fighting and like everything that him and
I had talked about, like I just want to provide, you know,
that's the only thing that matters to me.
And making sure that he has a life that I never had and being
in the position that I'm in and seeing the amount of success of
the people around me, you know, everyone over at Extreme Couture
and like it. I never saw that before.
And so to be able to, you know, if I have to sacrifice my own
health for him to have the best fucking life and opportunities
whenever he becomes a man, then I'll sacrifice myself.
Yeah, I'm. I'm trying to think.
I don't have any scares. I've never had a scare.
Are you scared right now that they might not?
Well, I always have anxiety then.
Actually, then actually, I always have anxiety.
But no, no, I'm not scared. Like, have you ever had your
your swimmers tested? No, I don't think that was.
Coming down in his mind, he's like, I was like, get that shit,
I. Was like, fuck, no, I've never,
never had a scare. Even like back in the raw days.
The only time I had the raw days was with my girl and and you
know, my fiance and she was on the depo shot.
So I was living life at the what the depo shot.
Like birth control, a type of birth control.
You take a little depo shot. I think it's like every three
months that shit fucks you up. Emotionally, it's ridiculous.
But yeah, there's never had a scare.
It was always good. Is that lucky or?
It's just, you know, smart thinking, I guess.
I don't know. I'm just, I'm very safe, which
is probably, yeah, a good thing. Bad thing.
I don't know. All depends on the person.
So never. Yeah.
I think she was the only person that ever, like, came inside of.
So I never, yeah. I don't have fun and be like
like I don't even come in the condom.
I was like, no, I'm coming all over you fuck that.
Like. And then I'm also super paranoid
that I'm like, you fucking stay right there.
Don't you move and I'm like grabbing stuff and like, don't
you grab a hand Like, you know how they try to trap
celebrities? Like, yeah, I was like, yeah,
yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, no, I'm too
prepared with that shit. Well, yeah, it's wild.
How do you do that then? Like you keep baby wipes next to
the bed Or I'm. Prepared with everything.
I'm a very sexual person, so I'm prepared with everything.
It's great. That's a whole different podcast
we can. That's a long one.
Well that kind of explain, does that explain your only fans
partnership or how did that? Come to be.
That was just a sponsorship and they wanted some shut up only
fans. So the main concept for only
fans is the original concept. Should I say it was like a
Patreon. Basically all the YouTube
creators would make some great content and then also not have
they. They wouldn't meet the criterias
to make revenue. You know like 1000 subscribers
or 4000 thousand hours of think monthly views or whatever the
case may be. So only fans came about and
they're like, if you want exclusive stuff, then maybe
whatever subscribers you have will pay $5 or $3 I believe is
the minimum to watch. Whatever.
And then if you can pick that up in a month or you can do a
monthly subscription and then get everything for whatever
price that is $20.00 a month, you, you know, get this.
And so there was really no rules for only fans.
So for only the people who started to like transition,
they're like porn stars, models. They're like, you know what?
I show a titty on here, you know, for $20.
Oh my dude, I just made 300 bucks in 2 minutes.
Oh yeah, I'm going to do more. And so incentivize a lot of, you
know, open people if you want to say, to get on that platform.
And then obviously overwhelmed it to where people only see only
fans as just that. Other platforms like Patreon and
and whatever other platforms they do a subscription service,
like only fans. They have different rules.
They don't allow nudity, They don't allow certain things.
Only fans like yeah man, we don't care for the most part, as
long as you're not threatening people and and abusing.
People like, just give us your percentage and yeah.
But yeah, pretty much they're they're 100% pimping you out.
Like they take 20% of whatever you make, which makes sense, you
know, the the platform makes sense.
But they're like, man, we made so much money, but we need to
get back to the original reason and that was to incentivize
subscribers of whomever, athletes, general people,
regular everyday life chefs, whatever the case may be, You
can on this platform and utilize it to make extra money.
So that's why you see them sponsoring so many athletes or
being on all the local promotions, Titan LFA, all this
stuff for sponsoring athletes like myself and so many more
because they want to bring it kind of that that image again of
like we're not just this and we get it and then we're not going
to stop that. You know, if you want to imagine
us as that, then so be it. But this is our platform.
It just also includes the bad side everyone thinks about.
So what kind of content do you post to?
Only fans. Oh oh Dick pics.
No, I it's like, oh, just only Dick pics.
You want to see why they call me Shorty?
Yeah, it's like the Super close, super close where you're like,
it's like, wow, how big really is he?
Pay an extra 500 bucks and see. Also that is that is a talent by
the way. Anywho, a whole different
perspective that's I missed those days.
Anywho, it's like, what's the last last time you sent a Dick
pic? I'm trying to think of my head.
I was like, holy shit this has been a while Got.
Problems, man. So probably like yesterday, it
was. Today I just said hello to
someone on Hinge and I was like straight to the point, no so
mental health videos because when I was going through my shit
I was like worse than worse. If I take myself out, at least
people can go, man. He went through this too, and he
gave his two cents of maybe how to get through or at least what
I would have, should, have, could have done.
So I can take that as an advantage and then go my own
little way. Again, the blueprint technique
videos, training camp videos, and then food blogs.
But then also I started posting like progress picks because
somebody's like, oh dude, you have a nice body, obviously only
when I'm cutting weight. And so I was like, you
motherfuckers. So I was like, dude, post
progress picks and post it for like $5.
If people want to see it, they'll, you know, pay the five
bucks to see it and, you know, do whatever they want.
I was like, all right, cool dude, You made like 60 bucks in
like 5 minutes. It's like, yo, I'm just showing
what I show on TV and that's, you know, waist up.
So it's like this is fucking awesome.
Yeah, every once in a while. And obviously I'm fat and happy
right now, so I'm not at all posting any prospects.
Do you, I mean like would you be able to do only fans full time
kind of thing? If I wanted to, then yes,
because I know of different ways to be able to incentivize people
without showing that stuff. And it's not at all putting
people down who do it. Like I've had people in my
family who are prostitutes or you know, sex work or strippers
and stuff like that. Like do I grew up in the hood?
Like who? I grew up in a trap house.
We've done some fucked up shit to make money, so I don't care
about that. I just don't really want to do
that. Don't.
Not because I guess I have self esteem or pride of myself.
I I'll show a Dick. I don't give a fuck.
I'm surprised my Dick pics aren't out there, but especially
from college. Oh my gosh.
But especially when Snapchat first started.
Oh my gosh. But for me, I have a lot of kids
who look up to me and whether it's boys or girls or whatever
the case may be, I don't want them going like, oh man, he's a
fighter, but now he's doing this.
Oh, I can do that too. Then I might as well do that or
I might not get it. He went to college but still
decided to do this. Then what's college for?
I'm not going to go to college. So no, no, no.
Let me be a prime example and and try to be a positive role
model. So as much as sometimes I'm
like, yo, how much you going to pay for this?
Yeah. Like, let me.
No, I appreciate the. And you get some crazy
incentives. Guys Will want to buy jock
straps or, you know, see feet picks or obviously see whatever.
It's in my way, bro. You know I need the cash.
I. Got I got jock straps and dirty
underwear. Do you have an?
Only fans? No, I don't.
Why not? Because they're not paying me
anything and I don't think I have quite the following.
I was going to talk show. I was like, do you know who he
is? Neither do they, apparently.
Yeah, I mean, I guess I could start it, but I just don't know
if I have the fan base to have like the amount of subscribers
to really put out and you know, like content and actually make
money from it. So yeah, if they sponsored me or
something. But enough Dick pics out there.
Then, you know, I might might do something like that, but so
yeah. Where did your huge following
come from, 'cause? I mean, you obviously had a very
impressive amateur career, 25 and one, right?
Yeah, 25 and one right now. What am I, 12?
Two and one. So I've had 41 MMA fights since.
Hold on and like 50 plus and Muay Thai kickboxing.
I was an amateur, 200 plus and wrestling and just all this
other stuff. So for me, I guess the main
thing is my In high school, my coach would call me the mayor of
like, Berwyn Cicero, the neighborhood I look.
Kind of high school coach. Wrestling coach because I would
introduce myself to everyone and he's like, the hell are you
doing? You look like the mayor.
Like, I'm like, hi, how you doing?
My name is Jose Shorty Torres. It's hilarious.
You still do it. Yeah, I still do it.
It's just one of those things I did, my mom.
Was one of stickers at Stoney's last night.
Yeah, it was great. Yeah.
Every girl that came off the bowl.
Hey, already to it. Yeah, it works.
Yeah. Sorry.
I'm going on a date tonight. I'm hanging out with her
tonight. Darkness layer slaves again.
So I yeah man I always promote and and I'm also I hope that I'm
a a genuine person So like when I talk to people was like I
don't ask people like oh hey, what's up?
Oh cool. I need this.
When I was like hey what's up man?
How's everything been You know I actually try my best to check up
on you whether you want to open up to to me or not and then you
know business starts whatever the case may be or I just try my
best to help. So the word spreads like oh
damn, he's a cool person or says whatever and then people slowly
start following me. Obviously I always, I'm never
content. I wish it was more in this and
that, but fighting helps. But I think I know a bunch of
UFC fighters that only have, you know, 10,000 followers.
You know, like you're on TV like 20 times and why why don't you
have more followers? They don't promote.
I promote, I do a lot of different things I think outside
the box and I hang out with people.
I try to be the people champ, if you want to say, you know, and I
try to get back and I also have my own foundation where like I
just hang out with a lot of people and I give money back and
then try to do certain things. So yeah, more than likely you
like me on my Instagram. No one.
I don't have hitters on my Instagram.
Not that I know of, at least. When did you know that it was
the right time to turn pro? That's a pretty extensive
amateur career, right? It wasn't my choice.
I tried to GoPro after the first world championship and I was
still one more year in college and my coaches like, whoa, you
can't GoPro because I had a full ride and NCAA rules with
professionalism is once you go pro you lose your scholarship.
So he's like, well, you can't you can't GoPro until you
graduate. I'm like, OK, fair enough.
He goes, well then you might as well do World's World's in three
months. I was like, man, I don't, I
don't want to do it again. Like I already want it And what
if I lose Now I'm going to be like, oh, I got to do it again.
I'm going to wait a whole another year and he's like,
trust me, just do it. Swallow your pride.
And again, the blueprint. I was like, you know what, man?
I'll be coachable. Fine.
As much as I don't want to, I'll listen to One Worlds again.
And then because of that, you know, I meet, you know, the
Prince of Bahrain, you know because he was part of his team
there in Bahrain and get inducted into his team and then
get signed to Titan FC because of like a snowball effect.
I met Lex McMahon out there and now he's my manager that make it
to the UFC. Now I'm you know.
That's the interesting point, that what was that like making
it from Titan FC up to the UFC? It was really, really annoying
because I'm in Titan FC-3 and O become a world champion defended
against a guy with 19 and 2 and 86 seconds, never been finished.
I'm the first one to finish him. Was like, all right, cool.
Hey, UFC. No, fuck me.
OK, cool. Let me bump up.
My favorite fight is Manny Pacquiao.
I was like, he's multiple weight class champion, let me do an
MMA, bump up the bantamweight. I won the championship belt with
a broken hand and torn MCO. Then they're like, yeah, no, we
we don't want you right now or they call me, but I'm clearly
recovering and I'm like dude, I can't fight for like 4 months.
They're like, so you want to fight next week?
Just just going to ignore what I just said, OK, how about two
weeks? I'm like, dude, I can't, I can't
train until October. It's like, alright, you want to
fight? The first week of October, I was
like, no, I can't train until the first week of October.
Like, you're just being a jerk to me right now.
And so I got like 10 calls from UFC.
I'm not associated with him, Hunter.
Gamble. And it was very bad, at least my
experience. What do you think the reason for
that was? I was a flyweight.
And were you just like lower on their list, so you just kept
being like? No, no.
I was the most highly touted amateur or seemed to be
professional outside the UFC. This is just the era where the
UFC was looking at getting rid of the division.
So when I got signed, you know I all last minute fights, 9 day
notice, 20 day notice in like a month and a half span.
So I lost 26 lbs and and 28 lbs. And you know, so I lose my my
first fight as professional. I haven't lost 33 straight
fights. So so be it.
Bad day in the office, you got me.
I look like shit. It is what it is, you know.
Also against the dude who ended up challenging.
Yeah, I ended up challenging. For the time, Alex Perez.
So which He's a bully to me now. So rude.
Fuck you, Alex. But he so I I, you know, lose my
fight. And I'm also going through some
mental stuff because I haven't lost in at that time in eight
years. So I was like, you know, man,
let me make mental health videos with the only confidence,
nervousness, just, you know, ran themselves to help amateurs.
And then DJ got traded and I was like, my business mind came into
play because I've always been very business oriented.
I was like, dude, the UFC has just just traded the UFC's best
champion in its history for Ben Askren, a guy that Dana White at
the time clearly talked shit about.
And I was like, ah, Ben Askren was over the hill.
Yeah, and he was way past. Was he?
Well, no. He.
Was past his prime way past his prime.
Tired at that time. But he was very.
Close to he might have been, he was.
Very close to where he's like, I I don't know if I'm going to
fight unless it's worth. And then he got signed to the
UFC, They made the trade and I'm like, wait, we don't have a
Colby Covington, We don't have a Connor.
No offense to Hudo's bumping up and no offense to Benavidez, but
he just lost to the champion twice.
And you know, he's not as exciting as a persona as these
other guys. He's a very calm to himself
person. So it's like, who else do we
have? No one knew Brandon Rayno the
time, no one knew Pantojo, all these guys.
So it's like why have a division, especially with like
Dustin Ortiz, I think at the time making, you know, close to
six figures, 6 figures, 6 figures.
I think it was making 80 or 70, whatever the number may be, and
then they're offering him, hey, we're going to slowly cut the
division. How about instead of 7070 you go
to 10 and 10. He's like, no, I'm going to go
to a different promotion. Like no offense man, I'm a
veteran. So when you look at fighters
like Dustin or Ali or all these big time fighters, they want to
cut them because why are we going to pay guys almost six
figures or six figures to that point when they win for no
entertainment if no one's really watching?
Because all the UFC fights for flyweights were in the prelims
or UFC Fight Pass prelims, right, right, right.
Joseph Benavidez and Sergio Pettis fought in Chicago.
Sergio, obviously, being from Milwaukee super close, they were
on the UFC Fight Pass prelims. Whoever won that fight.
And I I say whoever, I mean, Sergio Pettis, if he would have
won that fight, he would have fought Demetrius Johnson, but he
lost. And they didn't even give
Benavidez the championship fight because I think he already lost
twice. So that made sense.
But it's like that was a title contender shot for Ellie Sergio
and they put on UFC Fight Pass prelims like that's a notable
fight, especially for Benavidez, who at the time almost like a 15
plus fight veteran in the UFC and Pettis.
Being a Pettis, it's like you already know who he is.
You're obviously trying to highlight him, especially for a
title. Why is that UFC Fight Pass
prelims so? And it never made any sense
because like you would get some of the most action from the
flyways. But the bad thing?
Is in that matchup's phenomenal, yeah.
But the bad thing is small guys are popular in the East because,
well, there's just smaller people.
Generally in the East, you know, you don't really see big guys.
And usually the big guys, if there are any, they're most of
the time Co main event, 'cause you never know when they're
going to fight again. So they don't want to super
promote them because we don't know.
You know, they're probably going to go to the West because
they're just more popular over there, but here in in the West.
No one cares about small guys. Hell, even in boxing, like
people know in a way, but they don't know the guys.
He's fighting, but the guys are. He just beat a multiple time
champion. But no one knows that because no
one promotes here small guys in in the West.
So it became that. You'll see.
He's like, why are we going to pay so much money?
Cool, you're talented. No offense, but why are we going
to pay so much money to these guys when in a sense, no one
cares about him? Plus, UFC also never promoted
them. DJ being the best champion in
its history is phenomenal, but you also need to be promoted by
your company, and he never really was.
So what's the point of keeping him?
So when they when he did The Ultimate Fighter and they were
really banking on him losing, he beats Tim Elliott.
It's like, oh fuck, we did a whole show about this.
And in a sense, he's still not popular.
We're just going to let him go and you know, let him do his own
thing. He's already passed his prime.
He lost to Cejudo. He didn't want to rematch the
poodle because why does he want to win a title for the 12th
time? You know some he's already
defended 11. So he's like yeah, I'm just go
want to see if and see if I really am one of the best
fighters in the world and he did phenomenal.
Still even past his prime phenomenal.
But the UFC, well, four. I know given I could be horribly
wrong. Same thing with the Dustin Ortiz
story. But like Brian Moreno, when he
got, when he got resigned, he they were like, you know what,
we'll sign you, but you're going to make less than the entry
level contract just because we don't want to keep this
division. We're going to slow that out.
You're awesome. You've been super supportive.
You're popular. We're going to keep you around,
but we're just going to pay you this.
And if things go great, it's a risk that he took and obviously
worked phenomenally for him. But you know here I remember
there was one time they had 15 UFC flyweights and my friend was
ranked #15. I was like, Nah, go fuck
yourself. That doesn't count because
there's only 15 doesn't mean you're.
The best 15 in the world like. Just so happens only 15 guys in
the UFC rankings or somehow always surpassed everyone else,
like, you know, so it's it's it's a process.
So when it comes to business, it made no sense for them to
promote something that wasn't going to be going to be popular
on this side of the world. Were you cut after a win?
I was cut after a loss. One loss, by the way.
Yeah, you were 111 in the UFC. One-on-one in the UFC, and then
I, you know, offered the bump up, 'cause I was a bantamweight
champ, I was like, yo, let me, let me bump up.
They're like, yeah, no. Really.
Not even the opportunity. Not not even even.
Even now I remember. And this is this is where this
is where I stand my ground, 'cause I'm very strict in my
points. And this I'll talk about Mazarov
on this point, too. But I said all the things I
said, you know, I was like, yo, man, you know, you guys are
treating me unfairly. This, that, whatever the case
may be. And in a sense, I got, like,
blacklisted. So after my first contract with
Brave was up, you know, I was on a winning streak.
They're like, oh, hey, you know, my manager's like, hey, you
know, UFC, what's up? They're like, yeah, we're not
even going to talk about it. We're not interested.
It's like, and I've had other managers tell me they're like,
yeah, no, dude, UFC does not like you.
I was like, OK, cool. Now that's also because I
promoted the truth. I wasn't talking shit.
I wasn't. But people look at the truth of
talking shit, you know, it's like I point out something, a
flaw you did. And even though it's truthful,
you take it as your ego comes in super into play.
It's like, I get it, you know, but I'm not making stuff up.
So like when maslid, I was going to fight Kamal Uzman with that
last fight, he's like, yeah, we're independent contractors,
but we can't fight any other promotion.
You have our likability, no matter how long we fight for,
even when we go to different promotions, this, that, whatever
the case may be. And then I was like, yo, if
Mazzarov's fighting for the people, that's awesome.
A guy who actually has a name fighting for the people at the
time, obviously I'm not as popular and he ends up getting
the Kamar Uzman fight for whatever money he made.
And then he shut up and I was like Mazzarov dude, dude, that.
I mean, I'm happy for you. That's amazing.
Shut him up. But like, you got your money,
got bought out and you're like, alright, cool.
Yeah, cool. And I was like, like, I still
respect you. And then what you did.
But it's like, oh man, the yeah, you know, everyone, I guess in a
sense has his price. They met his price.
But look at Nagano. Nagano has said the same exact
thing. And looking now, being in the
PFL, now fighting Fury, making millions of dollars, now
fighting Anthony Joshua, going to make more.
And it's like he's the one that 'cause he's he came up with
nothing. I grew up in the ghetto.
This guy grew up in a sheet metal house like, you know,
third world country ghetto. That's different.
You know, my ghetto's a privilege to them.
So he's like, yeah, I had nothing.
So if you take all this away from me, I don't care because
this is where I came from anyways.
And he put his foot down with the UFC, decided to leave.
Dana made fun of him and look where he's at now.
I'm not saying Dana's like, Oh no, I regret this.
Like, Dana don't give a fuck because he's going to make money
everywhere else. But the fact is Nagano and I've
personally congratulated him before when we went to Atlanta,
when he did the face off of Jon Jones.
I'm like, dude, like, thank you, like not for me, but like what
you're doing to sport because you're not just entertaining,
but you're also trying to change the sport.
Kind of McGregor changed the sport too.
We're making more money because of Connor, you know?
So it's like these, you know, these small stepping stones
these people have done like shifting.
Oh, it's phenomenal. 'Cause I want to add, I've seen
this dude spar with some of the top 135 pounders in the world,
and this is that motherfucker right here, dude.
Like the there's a reason that I have him by my side as much as
possible. We were talking about my next
opportunity that I can't quite announce publicly yet, but I I
want to have him here for the end of my camp if it if
everything can possibly work out.
And it's because his mind is just crazy and his understanding
and his level of the game is just, it's absolutely insane.
So to me, the UFC is the ultimate proving ground and that
I think that's why everyone becomes such a fan of the sport
of the UFC. So I just want to see him back
in there for my own personal interest as a fan.
I want to see this motherfucker fight for the title.
I've gone with all those guys, all the top flyweights.
I mean, you look at Amir Bazi, you know that's not rubbing in
his face. But like, I'm the only loss he's
ever had and I dominated in that fight very easily to where even
after the fight I'm like should have finished them, like the
first time I dropped him three times and I walk away.
What? Year was that. 2019 And I
literally walk away like I drop him.
I was like, like, you can tell I don't care about being in there
because at the time I'm like as much as Brave has been
phenomenal, me now, it was still still very brand new.
So there's no drive for me. I'm like, it's not the UFC.
I'm the UFC fighter. I don't, I don't belong here.
You know my resume, I'm thinking in my head that stuff being the
drama queen in a sense. And now you see him being #2 you
know in the world, possibly fight for he.
Was fighting for the title and then he heard it before he got
hurt. Yeah, I'm just like.
Before he got hurt. One good for you because it
makes me look better every time you win.
And I'm happy for you, you know. But I'm just like, huh, What if
I had that same opportunity? Yeah, like, good for you again,
Not at all taken away, but it's like I've gone with the best
flyweights in the world. I've gone with the best
bantamweights in the world, hell, even some of the best
featherweights in the world. I'm just like, you know, So it
does suck that I don't get the opportunity to a certain extent,
at least in that Ave. But for me, I was like, you
know, man, again, the the kind of hero perspective.
Because I can't have it. Doesn't mean I should take it
away from people, You know, man, I might not have what I want to
have, but let let me give you every opportunity that I
possibly can. And if all if it if it works,
amazing. And if it doesn't, hey man, I
tried with you. We both fell together.
And it's always genuine. Like anytime he's ever helped
me, like even if it's just coaching and we're talking about
scrambles today, everything, it's always genuine.
It's always on point and it's always literally just to help
you. There's no, you know, you see a
lot of people do things for incentive or reason or you know,
to get clout. This that whatever money like
this dude literally doesn't care.
He's just does it 'cause he loves the sport and.
I I try my best not to rely on people.
No matter what, money's going to come and go.
I'm a find a way for money. I'll do.
If I fuck Dick pics, only fans, I got to do it, you know, I'll
do whatever I need to do to make money.
And I know, especially in the sport, like him and I, we always
mess around like, where's my money, 'cause I'm always like, I
help him. I help a lot of my friends, like
we just talked about. I help my uncle not too long
ago. Like I help a lot of people and
sometimes I'm like damn that was a I was saying that was a lot
you know I'm not at all like hey you should do this for me now or
I'm I'm now you have to look up to me because or do certain
things and I was like hey man, like you already know I'm trying
to help you. If you if you give me back
awesome amazing. If you don't like, that's just
me being me. After this airs, the Shorty
Foundation DMS are going to be going fucking crazy with.
Fighters, Yeah, like I've. I need $10,000.
I sponsored a lot of athletes and really he was one of the
athletes sponsored and some guys are in UFC now, Chip and
Marisco, Dan Argeletta, a lot of other fighters, you know, so.
That's like the point of it, right, is to help uplift people
so they can get to their get to. I didn't, so I looked at it this
way. I didn't have the best role
models growing up, but I found really good role models in the
gym. My coach is like my father, you
know, It's like my my mentor. My father figures.
So because of him and others that I grew up with in this
journey, I'm like, man, this kept me out of the streets, gave
me opportunity. My brother and father were
easily way more athletically talented than I was.
Just imagine if they had the opportunity to be like taught
like this or had the role models to stay inside the gym.
My brother didn't have a role model.
My dad at the time was kind of a piece of shit.
My dad for sure didn't have a role model.
So the gang was his family you know So what if they had the
opportunity. So I help people and and to me I
end up almost crying when so I fought in Colombia when I've won
my world championship for Brave that the second fight of the
night one of my sponsor athletes fought I sponsored him.
He's a kid from Peru sheet metal house.
Like he lives in a concrete house.
It's like and he was recommended to me by a friend.
I don't help good athletes. I help good people.
If I hear you give him back and like kind of paint it forward,
I'm like, you know, man, let me pay forward back.
You know you don't, you know you need to give me return.
I just want to incentivize you for everything you've been doing
well for people. Keep on doing it, keep on being
you. Because now hopefully one day
you follow my path and want to do the same thing in return,
help somebody else, another Shorty out and then goes from
there. And so I helped him for like two
or three amateur fights and one pro fight.
And then eventually I was going to find Colombia.
He's from Peru. It's right next door.
So I was like, you know, man, let me talk to Brave and see if
I can get you on the card with me.
And they collaborated with the Columbia promotion.
And, you know, local promotions don't have as much money.
They don't want to pay someone more.
So they're like, no offense. We're only hiring Columbian
fighters. We don't want to fly them in,
you know, it's more expensive. I was like, how about this?
I'll, I'll take care of it. Like, I'll, I'll be sick, pay
cut, take some pay out of myself and pay this kid.
And, like, OK, cool. I flew out there two weeks
before the fight. I was like, I'm going to fly you
in with me. We're going to stay in a hotel.
I'll take care of everything and we'll enjoy, you know, whatever
we can. And I'll He's 2122.
So he's a kid. He's really like just committed,
you know, trying to change his life and teaching weight
cutting, morals, all this stuff and just anything I could
possibly teach him. Big Brother.
And then fight day comes, you know, he makes weight, all that
stuff. Fight day comes and he fights.
He gets dropped in the first round and I'm like Oh my gosh,
like oh And then he comes back in the second round and knocks
this kid out and I'm just like Oh my God, like I'm almost
crying. And then he's you know, telling
me or he's doing the interview and he's saying like Oh my God,
thank you so much Shorty Torres Foundation, this, that,
whatever. And I'm just like and then I had
to go back and change and fight like 4 fights later and they're
all knockouts. So it's like you got to fight
you know? So I'm like oh shit, I got to
warm up, you know. And then I go out there and
fight. I win.
We both semi celebrate together because we left and then his mom
sends me a message the next day when he made it back home.
She goes, like, crying. So guys want to say, I
appreciate you this day. Like, you really helped give my
son an opportunity. I was like, that's fucking
awesome. Like that makes me feel good,
you know, Like I'm not looking for anything that emotionally
makes me feel good. That's what I want.
Money material. I don't give a fuck.
I'll, I will take care of me, the emotional stuff.
So if anybody's going to give me gifts, like make it emotional,
that's what I enjoy. I'll buy myself a car.
I'll buy myself all this stuff. I'll figure out a way.
But the crazy thing and I got this passed down.
Donald Cerrone took thirty people out one day to eat.
We all went to a Bar and Grill, and at the time, I'm still 1 and
O2 and OI don't have money, you know, And I'm just like looking
at every single price. I'm like, man, oh Jesus, this is
a nice, like place, you know? And so I was like, fuck, you
know, I'm going to. Get the side side.
Yeah, I was like, let me get the chicken, you know, because I
don't want to spend anything. And so I eat.
I'm super, you know, I got a minimal right now.
Now, I don't know, at the end of the night and this is all the
drinks, everything ends up being like 3004 thousand dollars
total. You know, I was like, hey, I'll
take my my check separately. I'm not at all part of this
shit. And cerrone's like, oh, I got
it. And I'm like he's like, oh, I'm
paying for everybody. Everything's already paid for.
I'm like, that's fucking awesome.
I hope one day to be able to do that because that's cool because
it's a lot of like young fighters that like look up to
him and it just, you know, incentivizes you more to keep on
going. And also hopefully one day be
like him. Not just an entertaining
fighter, but just a genuine dude.
And I'm like, that's fucking awesome.
Years later take this kid to Columbia and we go to this
Italian restaurant there I want to carve up and the the the chef
comes out and he's like, oh you're you know you'll see
fighter blah, blah, blah, Oh yeah, whatever.
Yeah. And they're like how about this
you have 10 people here. We'll do a family style.
I was like OK, but everyone can just pick and you know grab.
This kid is looking at the menu and I'm like, you look so
nervous. What do you.
He's like, I see the prices. This is so expensive.
I'm in Columbia. I don't know if you know the
difference in pesos there, but I'm fucking rich.
Yeah, I was like, she was loaded And so I was like, oh, this is
great. And so we go, I was like, don't
worry, don't like that. I got it.
He goes, Are you sure? I was like, order, whatever you,
you know, fuck this. I'm do a family style.
Order family style. And he's looking at this food
and it's a gigantic table dude. I've never seen this kid so
shocked. He's looking at food.
Like it just kept coming in. That's where I was even like, oh
man, we ordered way too much, you know, And he's like, and he
looks at me, I was like, what's up?
He's like, I've never seen so much food in my life before.
Like, he's poor, poor, you know, I'm just like, oh man, enjoy it.
And so he eats and he's sitting next to me.
So he sees everything I I'm looking at.
And so I pull out my card. I get the the check and do this.
And he looks at me, he's like, oh, like he starts, He's like,
oh, I'll do whatever you need. You know this day you said you
just, you got to write like I'll, I'll, I'll figure stuff
out. I'm like, relax.
Like I I got you, man. I was like, don't.
Luckily it's it's in pesos, so Oh my gosh, thank you.
Yo kid thought it was in dollars all the.
Time. Yeah, I was, I was like for for
it ended up being like 700 bucks for 10 people for like a almost
four-star Italian style dinner, family style.
That's fucking phenomenal, you know, plus drinks, all this
stuff. So I'm like Columbia, I love
you, you know, I gotta go back. But I was like, dude then, but
to him vessels in Peru, I think Colombian, Colombian vessels
worth more. But I was just like, don't worry
man, I got you. And I hope one day you can do
the same, because it reminded me of the story of Dallas Roni,
where I he ended up doing the same.
You told him the story or wow. Yeah, and I was just like, so I
did it. So hopefully you can do too one
day. Well, thanks for the Denny's
last night, buddy. Yeah.
And I I bought Denny's. Yeah.
And I introduced him to an amazing woman.
It was great, amazing something. Amazing something.
And you'll Grand Slam her one day.
But. No, it might.
She might Grand Slam him. Oh wait, me.
It's one of those. Oh oh, I forgot about that.
I forgot about that. Oh my God, you get tricked.
Yes, technically. Kind of.
Technically, that didn't happen. Kind of, sort of, not really.
But kind of Sort of like, actually a hilarious.
But you knew it was what it was, and you were.
Going no, no, no, no, no. So here's what happened.
Here's what we'll just tell the story.
Fuck it. So we had a We had our two
friends with us. I'm not going to name any names,
but we had we had a couple friends with us and.
Shout out. They're they're also
professional fighters and they are not where either of us are
in our career yet. And we were joking around
because he was with the girl. One of our other friends with
the girl and me and the other dude were just sitting back and
we started. We're just talking shit.
We're you know we're like giving them jealous shit.
We're like they probably you know gave head to some dude
earlier. You guys fucking made out with
them. That's all you got.
Ha ha ha. Like and we were just going back
and forth. Everything's pretty light.
And then I made a little joke because one of the dudes doesn't
have a professional win yet. And because and the other guy
did, and they were kind of going back and forth a little bit and
I was like, you should have told him you don't.
Even have a win, dude. Ego came into place.
Super long argument. Dude.
And there was a really intense argument.
It got really deep and it got really like really really
personal and and it got. I talk shit a lot.
So, like, we're just like, oh, that's a good joke, but fuck
you. But we can.
Separate it though we can, we can, we can really dig at each
other. It really got serious and heated
for a second and not like to where they were going to fight
or anything but like it got it got real and and also you know
good friends will hold you accountable and so that's why it
got real, it got back. And forth.
So yeah, it got a little back and forth.
And then as we're leaving this group of chicks sit behind us
and like, we're just trying to get our one friend out of there
because he's yelling at the table and the waitress is like,
hey, do you guys need more coffee?
Like what's going on over there? We're like, oh, we're good,
don't worry, we got this. And so he walks out, he pays, he
comes back, he's kind of waiting for all of us to get up and
we're kind of looking at each other like, OK, we got to get
the fuck out of here. So the one dude who's really
mad, he kind of storms out, go to, goes to the car, he's
waiting. Shorty makes eye contact with a
group of group of nice ladies. We're on a little bit of a hot.
We've been on like. Yesterday, it was a fucking day
for. Me, bro, we've been on like a
fucking like 6 to 8 month hot. Streak I was.
I was flirting my ass off yesterday.
Just random people, like making people smile, having a good
time. And then I see this group of
ladies and so I was like, oh fuck it, let me talk to him.
Not even the track. To them.
I was like, oh whatever. But there's one that stood off
in the bunch. And so we start talking just all
in general, have a good time. And then slowly the guys are
like, we're the fuck Shorty come back and they start, you know,
we all start mingling in a sense.
And there was one girl that was just like, oh, you should follow
me on Instagram. And I was like, oh, here's my
sticker, like you'd follow me and I'll follow me back.
And that's my trade off. And he's like, oh fuck it, you
know, gives the phone over and she's like, oh, you know, puts
it in and, you know, gives it back.
And I was like, yeah, you don't fuck it, you know.
Here, give me, give me your Instagram.
I was like, yeah, fuck that competition, let's go.
And so take the Instagram. I'm like, alright, cool.
Yeah. And we leave.
That's like our real competition.
Yeah, it really is. And so don't mess with my
darkness though, but. So it's funny, 'cause we're
talking about a specific person. I'll take her, bro.
Don't fucking play with me. Fuck you up.
Oh fuck you. Up there goes all your
opportunities. Fucking take her, bro.
This is all we do all day is talk shit to each other even
before practice. It's great it even during.
Practice, yeah. And so we leave and he goes into
the truck. I was the designated driver and
so we got the two buddies in the car and he's in the other car
and he's in his car about to go. Right next to.
Each other, Yeah, Yeah. So I he's like, pissed.
The other dude's, like, still pissed from the conversation.
And I I sit down and he's like, dude, what the fuck took so
long? Like, let's go, man.
I'm ready to fucking go home. And I'm like, dude, you know, we
were just talking to some chicks.
Chill out. No, no big deal.
Look, I got this girl's Instagram and he looks at it and
he's like, I'm like, I can't even say the name.
And then he's like her. He's like, dude, that's a dude
that's a trans guy. Like that's a trans woman.
I matched the term blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I was like, no, no. And our other friend's like,
dude, I I I thought so too. And I was like, no, I rolled
down the window and I'm like, hey Shorty, guess what?
And he like looks I. Was I was coincidentally looking
at the profile? I was like, oh man, look at this
photo. It's not a bad photo.
And then? And then yeah, the other dude,
the the pissed off guy, he's now cracking up and he's like,
that's a fucking dude. That's a fucking dude.
Like, yelling at us. It was.
Just like, Oh yeah. Oh, I'm follow.
Yeah, he just kept that going. I was like, alright.
I was like, have fun, Josh. But legitimately, like, got past
the goalie? You guys didn't notice at all?
No. Well, she had, like, big fake
takes. Things like, not actually.
Pretty like. So we're like, OK, yeah,
obviously we're going to, we're not going to be like, hey, you a
dude, just just want to make sure it was like, no, you know,
so we just. I really didn't even think about
it. And then, yeah, and until we
got. Out the prettiest one out of the
that's what. Was crazy, yes, the other one,
Absolutely. And.
Because of the obnoxiously fake breasts.
Like, Oh well, we got to talk to you.
And she was naturally flirty. So, like, Oh yeah, whatever.
And then what? He said that was like, Oh yeah,
you know, that kind of makes sense there.
Whatever. Not even chance.
It. Nope.
Go on by my day. That's it.
Do you think she would have ever?
Or he would she? Whatever way I'm supposed to say
it? Do you think that person?
Horrible. Would have politically correct
she. Politically correct.
Do you think she would have waited so like the race started,
to reveal? No, no.
I feel that inevitably she would have said something.
That's probably why she gave you the our.
Friend had told us that you couldn't tell on Instagram.
I definitely cannot tell. I already unfollowed and you
have to request the follow otherwise I'd show you but
fucking the dude said. Or Buddy said that that she she
had shit. Out of him.
Gave it to him. Good.
I'm like, I was like, dude, why are you wearing?
I was like, girl, why are you wearing a cup?
No, he he said that she had told him once they'd started chatting
on Bumble or whatever. Hey, you know, this is the deal.
Blah blah blah blah. And he was like, oh.
Never mind, yeah. That's kind of messed up though,
right? I mean, not really you just you
have a preference and that's not his preference, yeah.
No, not that. No, but like her, Yeah.
I don't think she was misleading, though.
I think that is. I think that's more of her being
who she is or whatever the case is.
I think that she's just trying to live her best life and we're
just horny fucking bastards. And Denny's at 4:00 AM.
'Cause it kind of falls like the responsibility falls on you for
liking what you like, kind of thing.
Kind of, you know, But it's also a responsibility just to be real
with people. And, you know, honestly, it was
just a start. So obviously she's not gonna be
like, hey, just let you know the guy, you know, It's like, you
know, whatever the case may be. So it's like you don't just
start a conversation with that. So let's let's figure this out
and then go from there, you know?
But I mean, inevitably, you're gonna have to tell him.
If for some reason in my head though it's like really
unrealistic when you said it out loud, but in my head seems like
that's what I would want. Oh, I mean, for sure.
I mean we want a lot of things. Obviously people don't think the
same way we do. But you know, the at the end of
the day, like I'm on Hinge, I'm just going through and then
you're like, oh, and it'll say on there like male, female,
trans, stuff like that. And it's like, hopefully you are
honest enough to, you know, meet a person or a person that's
honest enough to say what they are and just kind of go from
there. Or even again, hey, you can say
you're a female, but let's be real with me at least, you know.
So I'm not into that situation. It's not that I'm against that.
That's not my taste preference. That's all it is.
So be real with me and I'll be real with you like.
Chocolate, baby. I love chocolate.
I have a really funny story my my dad told me one time.
It was like, obviously everything's very open and you
know, it's all, it's all everything's different nowadays.
But my dad had told me that he had a friend who was making out
with this chick all night at the bar.
And then they like go out to the car and they're messing around,
whatever. And he like feels down, like
obviously it's a Dick and he's like, what the fuck?
You're a dude. And apparently, like, I don't
know how true this is, but apparently the girl, like, gets
out, you know, and she's like, fuck you.
He's like in his car and like picks up a big ass rock and just
throws it through his windshield like a fucking dude.
He's like, fuck you, Boom, throws a fucking like big ass
rock through the windshield and like, dips out and they're all
just fucking just joining them for years.
That's hilarious. Yes.
Is it the first time it's ever happened to you?
I think I mean like that far. You know what I mean?
Like, I don't know. I mean, I think, like, I don't
know if you're. You're with your son's mother.
Yeah. So yeah, you don't know if
you've been on dating apps before or whatever, but I think
I have. I I think out here, you know,
it's like very kind. Like, it's not everywhere else.
Like where I'm from in Saint Louis, like, you're not gonna
see. You don't really have to check
the profiles and like, really look at them.
You're just like so. What you're saying is it's very,
it's much more common. There's a lot.
There's actually hot trends out here, no.
No, no, no, no. I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying that. Sounds like no, no.
That's not what I'm saying. No, that's not what I'm saying.
I'm saying they're. Hotter out here.
No, no, I'm saying that it's much more common out here.
It's so much it like, and if you're not like, like, I'll just
go on streaks where I'm just like, right, right, right,
right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right.
You know what I mean? And so you'll just catch some
matches and you're like, oh, hey, who's this?
And then, you know, you're like, oh, I didn't realize I just
swiped. So no, that's why I'm not on
Tinder. Anymore.
Lies. Blasphemy.
Motherfuckers on Hinge. Bumble.
Fucking bumble. What is it?
What's the country one? Farmers only?
He's on it all, bro.
No, man, I'm just unhinged. I like actual relations and like
I like vibing with people. He does.
He loves love and affection. That's what he always said.
People are like, we'll be at restaurants, they'll be like,
oh, do you guys need anything? He'll be like love and affection
or do. You have any love and affection
back there and they're like, they'll just start laughing.
I was like, you know, but like, for example, when I tore my MCO,
I'm on a like a a sling or a cast on my on my knee for two
weeks. I can't sleep on my back.
I'm, you know drugging up an Oxycontin and like medical
marijuana pills just to pass out and fall asleep or just chill.
And my manager would come in and like change my empty out my piss
canteen and stuff like that. He's like, hey, you need
anything? I was like, no, just love and
affection. And he's like, go fuck yourself
Shorty. Thanks.
But that's, I don't know that's just what I thrive off of.
Like we we went to the place yesterday and I was literally
once I kind of hooked up with this girl like her and I were
just hugging for. Like.
Fucking amazing. Like cuddle sessions of this
shift for if you have a great energy and just a great vibe.
Again, for me, since I'm since I'm such a pleaser, if I don't
vibe with you, I don't care how sexy you are, I'm going to be
very disappointed. But I don't care how sex you
are. I'm just, I'm not attracted to
you anymore. It's not that you're ugly, it's
not attracted to me anymore. So it is what it is.
Good luck. You do your thing, you know?
So I need to vibe with somebody for me to want to please someone
and also for them to be able to like kind of give me or let let
me give them that space to like even touch me because I'm such a
physical touch guy. So yeah.
So I want to date back to Brave real quick, because it is odd
how you're kind of outcasted from the UFC and then you went
on a long run with Brave, right? Like you didn't lose for what,
five years? Yeah, it's yeah, I didn't lose
for five years. I just lost my last one and you
know, I'm hoping get a trilogy fight with this guy.
But yeah, man, it was. It's yeah, I've had a very
fortunate career, if you want to.
Say what did you notice in the competition difference?
It's scarier. You got to think about it.
I for me, and I say this in my last opponent and even if I did
get the trilogy fight, there's no win for me.
Resume wise. He at the time I believe was six
and two. At the time 12, one and one.
So resume wise, paper wise, I'm supposed to win.
If I beat him, it doesn't look good.
If somebody goes on tapology and just looks up myself, it's like,
oh, he beat a guy who had seven or eight fights but he already
had 14 or 15, you know? So it's like, doesn't make
sense, or at least you look at the States.
We're so big on names at the time, no one knew who Amira
Bazzi was, but he was 12 and O when I fought him.
Like that's he had a better record than me.
That's some scary stuff. I'm like whatever.
And then I fight him and in the second round he takes my back.
I'm like, yo, I can't get this guy off my back and he wins a
second round. So I'm like, what the, what the
fuck? This guy is good and look at him
now in the UFC. Look at Kazmat Chamayev.
He started in Brave. You know gets a couple
knockouts. Didn't get a title shot yet and
now he's in the UFC. Top, you know three top five in
the world. Ilian Tempora now fighting for,
you know the the championship. He never got to a title shot in
Brave. You know it's like these guys
are dangerous. They just have no name.
You look at boxing. I use this as a prime example.
No one knew Manny Pacquiao. He came in on a two week notice,
dominates a world champion. Pacquiao was already a world
champion in the East, but now he beats an African champion, beats
him and now he's fighting Barrera and rallies and all
these guys like Oh my gosh, this Filipino that we don't know
about in order to respect the country, in boxing at least.
And now he's making the name for boxing in the Philippines.
You look at Triple G, cared about Kazakhstani fighters
because you know this guys already passed his prime when he
comes into the states. Even when he fights Canelo and
he was on like a 29. Oh no, excuse me, 19 or 20
knockout streak. Yeah, before he fights Canelo or
I can't remember the guys named tall Guy, but it's like, yo,
this guy's knocking people out. There's good fighters in
Kazakhstan and then people start focusing on Kazakhstan fighters,
you know? Look at Bevo.
I don't know if he's from Kazakhstan, but part of the
east. Yeah, that region.
And it's like, yo, these people were coming through.
Or even Lomachenko. Lomachenko, obviously two time
Olympic champ, all that stuff, but no one knew who he was.
You know, in a way no one knew who he was.
Now, you know, coming over to the to the West and they're just
dominating. So would you say they're on par,
at least the top of Brave? Would you say they're on par
with the talent of the UFC? When you look at the top of
Brave, those guys weren't even champions and they're top three
or top five in UFC. Just imagine if they had a
little more time in their career.
Maybe, maybe they could have been champions of Brave.
But you know, they go to the UFC and just dominate all of them.
They dominate, so it's like they didn't have as easy to run as
they did in in Brave as they do now in the UFC.
And Brave is based out of. So it's based out of Middle East
Bahrain which is a very small country that's like they're the
most global promotion in the world.
They've gone to 30 plus countries, UF CS gone to like
12. What a who?
Who's backing? Like what?
What makes a brave like who runs?
Brave. So the man who owns it or who
started it was one of the Princess Sheikh Khalid bin Hamad
Khalifa. So His Highness decided to make
a promotion after the team that I was in KHK with like Khabib
Nammagomedov Islamakachev, Frankie Edgar and a bunch of
other people. And I was fortunate to be on
that team. And he's like, you know what?
I want to create a promotion and I end up commentating the very
first event. I was like, yo, this is dope.
This is cool. For your first event, I didn't
think it was going to go anywhere.
I was like oh maybe it's a one time thing and see where it goes
because running a promotion is extremely difficult.
Then they found a really good you know, president to run it.
Muhammad Shahid who was part of our team, another fighter and
man do you look at years later, 30 plus countries collaborating
with so many other you know, places collaborating with the.
I'm off as well having World Championships there and just
giving names to people in regions that aren't really heard
of. It's Emporo, Cosma, Amir,
Abbasi, all these guys, again, because they're from certain
countries, doesn't mean there's not any talent there that they
just haven't been showcased yet. You have amazingly talented
people in in the States, but we're very saturated market.
You go to Iraq, they're like, yo, these people are talented
too. You know, Russia or obviously
all the Dagasani's coming in. You look at that now, it's like,
holy shit, like there's a bunch of people.
They're just not known. I mean, you should give them
ATV, you know, Showcase Brave has been allowed or has allowed
them to do that. These people just found, I
wouldn't say better opportunity, but for them personally, more of
an opportunity to go somewhere else like the UFC, because
that's the most popular promotion in the world, you
know? Yeah, I mean even look at I was
going to say in COSI is a perfect example.
You know, no one like you said no one know him.
But like I like I said, I've seen this dude spar with people
everyone knows and is a fan of, and he fucking dominate.
And then obviously has had two really hard fucking fights with
this kid who's had what he's on his coming into his ninth pro
fight. 6 feet tall at 1:35. Yeah, it's a tough match.
You know, and and he's on the side basically for me.
But yeah, so I have a Mexican fighter who I'm going to UFC
Mexico with the help and lazy boy, and he comes from nothing
as well. And Mexican poor is obviously
less than, you know, American poor, you know.
And then he's, we're looking at videos of Ankosi and he's like,
he's looking at me, he's saying in Spanish, he's like, yo, this
this guy's dangerous. Like, I'm afraid for you.
I don't care what his record is like.
He's trying to change his life through you.
So be careful. And the last camp, especially
the last camp with the last two, I would say you were a little
more laxed in the feeling of like, I'm going to beat him.
My skills are here, his skills are here and technical on a
technical basis, your skills are here and his are here.
But that hunger, that drive, the four ounce gloves, the bare
shins, it's fucking raw, man. That, that fucking drive that
can take you anywhere. Like Lazy Boy's a great example
of, like, maybe not as technically refined as he will
be whenever he gets older and starts to enter his prime, but
the kid is fucking like you see flashes of greatness.
Even whenever he's boxing sparring, whenever he's MMA
sparring and you know he's going to be a fucking superstar, You
know he's going to be great. And that's what makes him so
dangerous. Like him and I, every time we
see each other, huge language barrier.
I don't speak much Spanish, she doesn't speak much English.
But we're we're super tight. The only whenever we get done
training, we look at each other and we just say 50 GS baby, 50
GS, 'cause that's all. That's all we got to say, 'cause
we know we're both very hungry to change our lives and change
our family's lives and put ourselves in this position.
So and we see each other working at a, you know, and and really
pushing, trying to push the best guys in the room.
It's, it's the way that's why champions fall.
You know, it's like, oh, your goal is to be a champion And
then after a while it's like, OK, cool, I'm champion.
What? What do I do now?
Do you want to defend it? Is that really a goal for you?
Or you're like, ah, we'll see if I defend it, how many times and
then kind of go from there. When you lose, I can tell you at
least from me. And it's not at all.
I'm just been very fortunate in my career.
I've won a lot. I'm very happy.
I've only lost three times out of 41 fights.
I've done pretty well for myself in the 14 years that I've been
pro, or at least fighting. But the fact is that whole camp,
at least my last one, I just lost my last fight.
I was like, man, I'm tired. I can't wait to, you know, beat
this guy up and go home. And then I'm just getting
stitched up and literally leaving the medical office.
And I feel fine. It's just the cuts.
I couldn't see. I'm just like, dude, I can't
wait to go home and start training, you know, 'cause that
that that kick in the ass, that fire's back, I was like, oh man,
I haven't felt this for a while. This is great, you know?
So it's everyone's drive is very different.
You know for me it's not at all about claiming belts.
It's more just kind of showing how good I am, not just to the
world but also to myself improving it.
But it's that little fire for whatever reason, for other
people, you know it's everyone has a a push you know lazy boy I
believe is going to have his second kid soon.
So I know for him he's like I need to do this.
I need to win. I need to fight.
I need to change my my family's life.
Give him opportunity to do what Brandon Moreno did, somebody he
looks up to, you know, that he trains with as well, you know.
So it's like that's thing and I'm sure you have your drive.
I have my now my drive now too, personally.
So it's everyone's very different and it all depends on
what goals you want to set out and what goals are the ones you
really want to set out for. I made it to state in high
school wrestling. I was like, all I want to do is
make the state. I made the state and I'm just
like, well fuck, what do I do now?
And then I lose by one point in my first match and it's a
piggyback so that that guy loses, you're out.
And sadly he lost by 1.2 and I was out.
So I never got to redeem myself, but I was like, damn, I could
have won. Like I got to beat that guy.
And same thing when I made it as All American.
I was like, man, I could have placed higher.
And everyone's like, what number do you want to place?
I'm like, well, I just want to make it to nationals, you know?
And then I'm there. I was like, oh shit, I'm
actually a lot better than I thought.
So it's whatever belief you have in yourself and then whatever
realistic goal you set for yourself.
And then I say two things, make a realistic goal and make a
dream goal because you're more than likely going to hit this.
It's realistic. You know, if you work for it,
eventually if you know you keep walking, you're going to hit the
three miles whatever the case may be.
But this is the the dream goal. It's not unattainable.
It's just you actually going, oh fuck, I'm I'm better than what I
actually thought. So I always say make two goals
realistic. One that you know you can't hit.
It's just going to take work and effort And then that fucking
dream goal, fuck, I want to make it to the UFC and dream goal.
I want to be top five or I want to be champion or I want to,
whatever the case may be. Last couple of things before I
get you guys out of here, being out in the Middle East where it
is, what's the backing like money wise because that's out by
like Qatar and everything, right?
Like and phenomenal. It's they have so much money.
I mean look at the Nagano Joshua fight.
It's going to be in Saudi. You look at Brave, the most
global promotion in the world in only seven years.
You know, like that's a lot of money for promotions to do.
And they're like, yeah, we got back in, we're good, you know?
So at least in the Middle East, they focus on other things.
So where they save so much money and that ridiculous amount of
money that they're just like we can do whatever we want.
Now it's kind of like only fans where they're like, we made so
much money, let's just start throwing money out there and put
our name on people's shorts. Right now we're only going to
make more money, so. How does it compare Braves pay
compared to the UF CS pay? For me, I make three times more.
Wow. But I also kind of got paid shit
by the UFC. So yeah, I'm not saying it's not
hard to do, but I also know I'm one of the higher paid athletes,
a part of Brave. But I also do a lot as well.
On that notoriety creates more opportunity.
Notoriety pretty much on the sport.
Also one of the only Americans in the promotion and I I do a
lot for them. In return, you'll commentate and
stuff like that. So I'm like the Staple Boy in
the States for for Brave, but they they pay me extremely well
and I can tell you a foreign for Brave for a lot of things.
I once have been able to pay for certain things to my family or
even personal things that I'm I'm happy to say I have.
Denny's last night. Denny's last night, you know, So
yeah. Do I mean, obviously you said
you have. It's really important for you to
show that what you are and being the best.
Do you ever worry about getting back to the UFC?
It's it's I I look at it as my last relationship.
I when I had those three things in my head, you know, getting
cut from the UFC, losing my father and the last
relationship. Even though hope is a very good
thing, I had to kill hope for all three things that pursue
anything else in my life. Because it it's like, it's like,
hey, I'm going to work on everything for you.
But I'm with you right now and I'm going to give you everything
for the most part. But then no matter what you do
when this comes back Deuces, I appreciate everything done for
me. It's none personal.
I I just wanted this. But then you feel like shit and
then you also don't get everything because I'm kind of
saving it really for this you know.
So when it comes to my goals and when it comes to the main
purpose is that in my head has immensely died to me years ago.
If it comes back we got to figure some self out you know.
But I'm not at all prepared if if the UFC calls and go hey man,
we want you to fight fuck $1,000,000 million dollars
whatever the case may be. I'm like, all right, really
think about this, 'cause I'm not a material person, we're like,
again, the money, obviously, yes, you know, everyone has a
price. Maybe one day I'm like, ah,
yeah, well, million, million, sure.
But the fact is, it's also the respect.
Are you There's that trauma of, like, are you bringing me in to
win and maybe showcase me like I was hoping?
Or you're bringing me in to get beat up to make a point.
Prove a point. And I I don't, I don't want
that, you know, so it's kind of like going back back to a
traumatic relationship. Do you go back to the person who
cheated on you? Do you forgive it?
And if you did, how do you, how do you maneuver around it When
you go back? How do you not think about that
situation again and again and again, you know, related to the
certain, you know, whatever things.
So for me, if the UFC calls, UFC calls, we figure stuff out from
there and and that's why I have my team, so I can logically
express it to them and figure stuff out.
You know, I look at everything like my father.
No matter what I do, no matter how much I heal, he's gone
forever. Nothing I can do about it.
So I look at it that way. In Palatia was gone forever and
so is the UFC. I'm cut that off mentally that
there is no hope for that. Keep on pursuing things and if
somehow the world brings us all back together, perfect, I'm not
going to complain. And if it doesn't, never expect
it in the 1st place. It's.
Beautiful. You know, so I'll try.
We're lucky. I got a great friend.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah, and and mentor as well.
Coach is like sponsor everything, you know.
And so he's definitely a special relationship.
Yeah, he takes care of me for sure, but he'll, you know, I
think that. I think he's a big, he's going
to be a big part of my success and it gives me a lot of
confidence to see what he puts back into me and to hear like
him say things like the other day he said something like he's
like, oh blah blah, future UFC champ.
And I was like, it like, surprised me.
I'm like, what the fuck? You're just always talking shit
to me and telling me I suck. Like every.
Once in a while you think that. You do think that I might be
able to do that, 'cause I think that, but, like, I kind of
didn't think you thought that. And then, you know, it's just,
it's just like and even just seeing his level and like and
seeing what he does with his life, like to even see him like
take out the time, you know, it's a big confidence booster
for me as well. Who's the best 135 LB Fighter in
the world? Apache, Apache Mix, yeah.
Yeah, I think Patchy beat Sean. I I ended up saying in a Sunday
question day because I, you know, I trained with patchy.
I train with all these people. I've trained with everyone in
that Bellator Grand Prix tournament and I would love to
fight every one of those guys because it's just the honor and
respect because there's just really good fighters and
somebody's like how would you do Apache?
And I'm very honest Sunday question day, like I have fun
with it. I have answered some very
raunchy questions. But with that question came
about I'm like, if I we fought 10 times, I would maybe, and
that's a maybe hard maybe that I'd win 3 because practice us is
very different than, you know, under the lights.
But he's, I know I'm a different person, but he's just a very,
very scary individual when he gets under the lights.
And I know I have my strengths against him as he does against
me, but I think his strengths override what I'm able to offer
at this point in my career. And he's just growing and I
think and him and I train a lot, like he's extremely talented and
that's him being nice and obviously back, you know, vice
versa in certain areas. But I think maybe I would win
three fights. I could be, you know, putting
myself down a little bit, but. I think he's putting himself
down a little bit. But he's, he's a very, very good
fighter. Now stylistically, I know how to
beat him, but if it was just me not training with them, like,
all right, cool, let's go in there and see, you know, it's
tough. Like, he's a very, very hard
person to fight against. Can I say what happened before
the root fiance Stotts fight? So like Patchy landed the exact
same knee on him before he landed that fight against Stotts
and it fucking dropped him and I don't even know where I was
going with that but it just, it's yeah, yeah.
He was still awake. Yeah.
It was funny because I I told him I was like, hey, man, you
should throw your knees more. Yeah.
And I was like, fuck, why'd you listen?
Not on me. He he he also told me he's like,
hey, I think shots going to shoot.
So if you don't mind, like, shoot a little bit.
And it was just me as a bad setup shot.
And I shot a little too far, didn't I?
All I remember was going in running into a knee And then
just like, I don't remember the fall.
I just remember hitting my butt. It was like one of those flash
Kales we like. And he's like running up to me.
He's like, oh, you OK? I was like, I'm fine.
Yeah, yeah, I'm good. And then we just kept sparring.
But I was like, good fucking knee.
And then literally a month later he lands the same knee.
I'm like, dude, fuck yeah. What was that like for you to
watch that back in real time? The hardest part is like, I've
trained with all those guys. Like, I'm good friends with
Raffia and I'm good friends with surgery.
I'm good friends with, you know, Danny, Saboteur, all these guys
that, you know, they all might fight against Juan Enchilada.
I'm just like, it sucks seeing friends fight, you know, 'cause
I try to just be as neutral as possible.
But when also you train with somebody and in a sense you
won't say you dumbed down yourself, but you know, you take
some askings for them, get the confidence up, help him out,
whatever the case may be, and he goes in there and does the same
moves or moves he was doing on you.
It's like, yo, I'm, I'm not going to lie, I'm going to take
a little bit of credit for that. And it's awesome to see that.
I see how hard he works and everyone else I'm trained with.
So it's like, dude, good, good for you because I see the pains
you go through. I see the adversity I see or
even I've had my my better days against them and I'm like and
he's he's struggling mentally or whatever the case may be and now
he's $1,000,000 champion like fuck yeah man, good for you.
And not only is he super skilled, but he's one of the
hardest workers in the room. One of the coolest, most humble
dudes on a break. No, he's one of the coolest,
most humble dudes in the room. We'll talk to anybody at any
time about anything. So you know, that's another one
of those things just to pick up and learn from those guys as
well you you like. There's a reason that he's there
and he's at that level and that we're saying that he's the best
135 pounder in the world. Yeah, it was actually shocking.
I was fishing. I thought you were gonna say
you. So where do you honestly rank
yourself? Oh, he's right there.
I I don't know. I really don't.
Are are you higher level at 1:25 or 1:35 in your opinion?
I for sure I mean. I could.
I just don't want to. I for sure would be one of the
better ones, if not the best, the best one at flyweight.
And this is not a jab towards, you know, the the Champions.
I've done extremely well against Marino, I've done extremely well
against Pantoja. I've done obviously well
realistically with Amir Abbasi. But you know, sometimes we have
our days. Maybe it was just my day against
Amir Abbasi. As Alex Press said, with me he
goes, man, I was just a better man that day.
It's like maybe we fought 9 more times.
He'd won every single fight, you know.
So the fact is I believe I'm 100% the best flyweight and if I
had to make the weight, obviously if the money was
correct, perfect. Let's do it because that's a
full time camp type of thing. But at bantamweight, it's a
little harder just because I am naturally smaller.
But I'm nowhere near less than top 10, for sure.
And even honestly, probably like top seven I.
Was going to say top five, Yeah. Just because I know
stylistically what Ioffer and I was one of the first full
rounded MMA fighters when I actually want to be full rounded
that I can perform, You know, I'm not a Algeo where it's like
you will end up on the ground, you're screwed.
It's like no man, you end up on the ground, you're screwed.
But if you also starting to feat with me, it's going to be very
bad, you know. So it's it's a give and take.
You know, even my last opponents, like he's taking a
beating. Even when I finally do lose, you
know, he's walking away. Like, damn, that was a really
hard fight and I might have to fight him a third time.
Fuck, you know. So it's it's a process.
That's why I say even if you lose, you're going to respect me
because you're you're going to, you're going to somehow go home
with some type of pain of like, damn, that was crazy.
Well, I think you earned honestly everybody's respect.
I mean, you went to the distance and almost won the belt from
Israel to Sanya. Like, not a lot of people fought
Izzy like that. It's.
A process. I just want to say, when I made
it to UFCI took a picture of Gaslum.
It was fucking awesome, but it was me, me, Gaslum, and Nasrat.
They ended up making like a Pokémon photo as like as I'm a
Charmander, Nasrat, Charizard. And I remember looking at it on
Twitter. I was like, that's fucking.
Funny. And then whenever we met, Gaston
Bolanos. You guys there just look at each
other like, are we cousins? Yeah.
And you're part of the family. He's such a serious guy.
And I'm like, you know, taking the photos, it was it was funny.
What's coming up for you guys in 2024?
What can everybody look forward to?
I'm. Trying not to die.
Tomorrow, hopefully, Are we going to get that trilogy fight
well? We'll see.
I'm just trying to you know heal up and and you know get as, as
prepared as I possibly can be. Right now I'm focused on Lazy
Boy and and helping him for his camp, helping him when I'm
around as well because after this I'll be here until next
Sunday, go to Mexico for a month, come back, might be
overseas doing some other stuff. So I'm just trying to game plan
some things. But for me honestly I'm I want
to look at stuff outside of fighting.
I'm trying to buy a house. I'm trying to buy an apartment
complex. I'm trying to do stuff outside
of fighting to where if I still happen to get hurt or, you know
this tells me I can't fight anymore, then I have some money
outside of it and then be on TV more compensating.
Maybe you start putting Dick pics up again and start, you
know, having fun. Yeah, I would be upset if he
didn't get the trilogy fight, personally, Unless.
I'm. Sure gonna say if you didn't get
a Dick pic like dude, don't worry, you're gonna get I.
See you in the shower all the time.
I don't need the picture, it's mentally burnt in.
But no, if he doesn't get the trilogy fight I would be really
upset unless in Cos he got signed to the UFC or whatever.
Then it's just like, oh whatever, that's.
Another reason why I want this fight as soon as would.
That piss you off? No, man, because it's
opportunity. Business.
Like, I get it. I would, it would be like, fuck
I. Mean you wouldn't be mad at him,
but would you find some type of way towards the UFC?
No, no. It'd be funny if UFC did that on
purpose. Like, yeah, we're just going to
sign him. Just like, rub it in Shorty's
face. But if he makes it to UFC, I'll
be like, hey man, you beat me, you deserve to be in UFC.
Personally though, I would be upset with that because the
first fight he knows how I feel. I thought in Cosi won the
decision. Not like I fucking love this
dude, but I'm just. Fucking real shit.
And I thought that's really like like, I thought.
I thought that it was edge three to two his and like whenever the
decision came up and like fuck, like I know how much time he put
in like the fucking movie on stops thing.
It was a hard ass fucking camp we put so much work in and
fucking dude slept on a mattress on my living room floor like he
doesn't need to fucking do that. But he chose to fucking put
himself in the fire and do whatever he needed to do for
that win. So I was like, fuck, man, but
then he gets the nod, obviously. I'm fucking super happy about
that. They give oh boy, the rematch
and he was on his way. I don't care what anyone says.
He was on his way to fucking finish that kid.
He we had game plan perfectly. We had dieted perfectly.
We had fucking we. We trained harder than anybody
in the fucking gym. The last fight was just my ego
coming into play. And I I mean, I had fun like
100% have fun in that fight where I'm like, oh, these shots
don't really hurt. I'm having a great time.
And then I get cut and it starts bleeding and I'm like, OK, shit,
I can't see out of my left eye. Like the blood was just all over
the place. And I'm like, because it was a
good cut, it wasn't like a scratch.
And then I had to turn my head. And because of that, you know, I
left myself a little more susceptible, getting hit on my
right side. Now I just took an elbow I
couldn't see coming from the left side.
And so I'm bleeding profusely from both sides.
They're just going straight down to my eyes.
And I'm like, you ever turn on bad windshield wipers in your
car? It just makes it worse.
That's how it was like. I had pictures of me just
grabbing my face and trying to take the blood out, like digging
my fingers in my eyes to get the blood out.
And it just made things worse. There was one point in the fight
to where I was like, well, let me shoot in and let me shoot in
low so I don't run into a knee. And I was right.
I didn't run into a knee, but I felt the wind of it go past my
head. But I did not see it.
And I remember in my head, I'm like, oh, that could have sucked
you. And then the doctors pull or the
ref pull me to the side, looked at my cuts and in my head
they're like or outside they're like, hey man, like how you
feel? I'm like, well, I feel fine.
I just can't see. And I'm saying that I'm like,
oh, I can't see. They're looking at the customer
like, yeah, let's just wipe his face.
That's. Back in there, pissed because
it's like, dude that should should have been stopped from
the doctor and it should have been immediately booked.
And me, I'm just like in my head.
I'm like, fuckers, stop the fight, you know, Because I can't
see. Yeah.
And they're like, Oh yeah, going in there, I'm like.
Yeah, I just pour more damage on.
I'm like what? The Yeah.
And in my head I'm just like. Because you're not going to quit
or throw in a towel at all, but. There came a point in my head to
where it's a crazy thing and I talk about ego all the time is
my ego got me to that point where I'm beating his ass and
doing great. I'm.
I'm not at all worried. But now because I can doesn't
mean I should. And at that point I was getting
beat up. Technically my I could take it,
but apparently my body couldn't take it because my face couldn't
and I started bleeding. So my ego obviously got hurt and
I was like, holy shit. And obviously I took the second
cut. I was like, holy shit, Now I'm
my ego's getting desperate. I'm taking shots.
I'm doing dumb shit. And when the ref pulled me to
the side and the doctor was like, oh, he can continue, I was
like, dude, my ego already lost. There's no reason for me to go
out of my shield. If I lose this fight, which
right now in my head, I'm already kind of going to lose,
let me just accept that you beat me and go for a trilogy.
So when I I was like, you know what?
Let me give myself a caveat, though.
I'm going to give myself one more minute.
And if I don't like the haymaker, whatever the case may
be, then you got me. And I remember there were a
couple points in in that one minute where I'm like, I do this
and you can see and Cosi looking towards the ref and then his
corner as well, like, 'cause I his corner knows me very well
too. They're all friends and they're
like, stop the fight. He can't see clearly, can't see.
And then and Cosi's like, looking at the ref, like, you
know, and and me, I'm kind of struggling.
I can tell he's, you know, being nice with me a little bit.
I'm just like, you got me, man. Like there's there's no point
for me to take it any extra damage.
I'm 31, I've already taken a toll on my body, naturally after
all these fights. Let me, you know, build up and
hopefully, you know, get the trilogy fight and go from there
like you're the better man today.
And it's going to teach me a lot and obviously not bring my ego
out to a certain perspective or to a certain point in the fight.
And then I have now literally no choice but to move, cause one
punch can end at all. So I have to literally change up
or at least upgrade my style and really put it out there.
Real quick before you go Augie, I did notice on the Tapology it
does annotate retirement on your record.
Did you know that? What?
I didn't know that. Yeah, I I I pulled it up earlier
when I was doing research. It says like, you know, normally
where I would say like TKO or do just strikes or ground strikes
or knees, it says retirement on there.
Yeah, well, technically I retired from the fight, 'cause I
was in there. I was like, I just put my hands
out. You got me like, it's not a ATKI
guess, it's a verbal submission. It's due to strikes, but it's
technically, yeah, I guess, a retirement, if you want to say
which it is what it is, a loss is lost.
It should have been a doctor stoppage though it.
Should have, but no matter what, even if it was a doctor
stoppage, I put myself to that point.
Should have would have, could have 'cause you also could have
could have should have won that fight, so it is what it is.
It's it's was for me. And it was funny, 'cause I went
to the bag and like 3 weeks after the fight and hit the bag
and I didn't know how angry it was.
Pent up wise, like holy shit, you know, like moving, doing
this. I was like fuck, why is that
Doing this in the fight, you know, obviously now I know you
go through the trauma, you're like, oh, I should have just
done this. But yeah, it's it's crazy when
like you have fun in the fight and you realize you're winning
and I was like, oh dude is this, he's dying out at me.
This is great. I'm writing body shots, having
fun and I'm just having a good time.
And then you bleed and you're like, oh shit, it's just
literally turned on a dime. This is the.
Momentum shifted so quickly, yeah.
Part of the process. So that's that's also why I'm so
accepting of it is like, again, I've lost everything I've had.
So me losing, even if I lose my next 5 fights, it's like, whoa,
I'm still trying. Obviously I care if I win or
lose and I'm trying my best, but it doesn't emotionally hurt me
to the point of like, Oh my gosh, you know, Ronda Rousey.
Ronda Rousey. When she lost, she's like, I
want to kill. I felt like killing myself.
I'm like, I get it because that's kind of how it was.
The AL Express fight didn't lose in 33 straight fights.
I get it. But after a while you're like.
I'm not saying you should get used to this, but this is also a
sport where I get to do this, I don't have to do it.
And it's such a thin margin of error in this sport.
So it's like once you become more aware of that, you get more
experience. It's like, well how are you
going to sit there and just define yourself and your own
self worth on the fucking results of this sport that can
go either way on any night? So yeah, it's all part of the
process. And what's next for me is as big
as it gets, I would say, but or what?
What could be the best case scenario for my career?
Only fans, yes, and only fans. But yeah, I like I said, I can't
really make any announcements yet.
But yeah, so hopefully there's something that gets announced
is. There something that's cooking
up currently? And that's next week or?
21 of like the big organizations, the biggest Have
they come knocking finally. I don't even know what to say.
I mean, yeah, sort of, kind of, kind of maybe, kind of sort of
maybe. They sent out like a like a
feeler letter kind of thing. No, nothing like that.
There there's been a couple calls and next week will be a
final call and kind of go from there.
And hopefully kind of like get a shot out of shot kind of thing,
yeah. It's it's a shot at a shot with
a bunch of opportunities in between.
Just becomes what else comes with it?
Or. It could be a foot in the door.
It just I have and I told the people that are involved that,
you know, I really don't care. Like I want to win everything
like he's saying. But for me, I want to be a
staple in the UFC and for that to be the thing.
I'm not going to sit there and fucking hold somebody's legs for
10 minutes and barely squeak. Wins out.
Like, I want to be a dude that like, they're like, fuck yeah, I
want to bring him back. Get down.
Cerrone Mike Perry. Like, you know, if I can be the
next counter. Fucking sweet.
But like, I'm going to go out there and I'm going to put
performances on. I'm going to go out there and
I'm going to fucking fight my ass off.
And if I go out of my shield and fuck it, I don't like, I don't
care. Like I was saying, like I'll
sacrifice my health for my son, but I'm going to go out there
and I'm going to put memorable performances on.
So God willing, inshallah, hopefully and hopefully
everything comes to fruition and I'm able to do that and everyone
will get to see right in front of their eyes and then hopefully
it is my foot in the door with the with the big boys.
Now that it's my foot in your ass.
I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it.
Before I let you guys go, any last words on four people that
are, you know, struggling with either depression or just get
into rough times? Become the Darkness Slayer.
It'll change your life, really. Once you go black, you never go
back. That's not true.
I found that out. Realistically, it was great.
Any who opposite, No 'cause there's so many things you could
say about it. I so I do mental health videos
every day which I actually have to post one soon.
There's one there's AI guess, a really dark Mexican poem that's
whispering something in this guy's ear.
It's like live, live, live. And it was actually death
telling. Telling him that his death is
always guaranteed life isn't. So let's just try our best.
Enjoy today. Whatever happened yesterday,
happened yesterday doesn't happen today.
Nor should it dictate what's going to, you know, make you do
what you do today. Yeah, maybe we should have.
Could have. But it's a different scenario,
different case situation and take it from there.
But live your day like it's your last and live it like it's a new
day. Cause technically it is.
So enjoy the present and yesterday's yesterday and
hopefully there will be a future.
So until then, enjoy what's now and appreciate everything to the
fullest 'cause that once that shit's gone, it's gone.
I just say keep going, 'cause there's gonna be, you know, you
might be at your lowest valley that you've ever been in your
life. You might be in the process of
making something happen. You might be at the top of the
mountain, but no matter what, you got to keep going and
putting 1 foot in front of the other and just keep doing what
you love and treating people well and just going about things
and doing things the right way. Because we all know inside of
ourselves what's right and what's wrong.
Now fuck that. Do what you want?
Live for the moment. Fuck everyone.
Step on everyone's fucking throat in.
In front of people, do what you want and.
If you're at Starbucks and there's another car right there,
you fucking cut them off and get in front of.
Them. You need to get there in the
car, take their stuff and go. I just try, man.
That's it. You never know until you try.
Yeah, I. Appreciate that so much.
It's also well, but where can everybody find you guys on
socials and follow you guys? Jose Shorty Torres on Instagram
Shorty Torres MMA on Twitter and Facebook.
Teamshorter.com If anyone wants to donate to my foundation that
helps keep kids, teens, and young adults inside the gym and
off to. Give the foundation some money.
And. Augie needs I need it.
And that's usually like fanning. And yeah man, once you go black
and never go back. Augie. under score, MMA
everywhere? Yeah, what's that?
Well, we appreciate you guys so much.
Thank you guys for tuning in. We'll see you guys next time.
Still friends show up until 66. See you guys.