1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,900
There is a QB software 
architecture. 

2
00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,900
Gathering is the International 
Conference highlight for all 

3
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:07,900
those working on Solutions 
structures in IT projects 

4
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:11,700
primarily software Architects 
developers and Professionals in 

5
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:15,100
quality assurance but also 
system analysts who want to 

6
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,200
communicate better with their 
developers. 

7
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,500
A selection of well-known 
International speakers will 

8
00:00:20,500 --> 00:00:23,600
share their practical knowledge 
on the most important topics in 

9
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,600
the state of the art software 
architecture. 

10
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:29,800
The conference takes place 
online, from November, 14 to 17.

11
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,900
And we have a 15% discount code 
for you enter. 

12
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:38,500
The alj underscore MP underscore
15 for 15 percent discount 

13
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:42,100
become more aware of coaching, 
competencies and coaching skills

14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:45,600
and realize that in order to be 
a more effective leader, you 

15
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:50,800
need to be a coach done period. 
So what I want is leaders 

16
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:55,800
managers directors senior execs.
I think if you want to become a 

17
00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:00,300
better leader than I think one 
of your core skills not Go 

18
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,800
skills but course go should be 
coaching skills. 

19
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,100
Hey everyone. 
My name is Henry Surya with 

20
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:13,500
Robin. 
And you're listening to the 

21
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:16,700
technology, you know, podcast 
the show where I'll be bringing 

22
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:19,900
you the greatest technical 
leaders practitioners and 

23
00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:23,600
thought leaders in the industry 
to discuss about their Journey 

24
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:28,300
ideas and practices that we all 
can learn and apply to build a 

25
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:31,900
highly performing technical team
and to make an impact in your 

26
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:35,100
personal work. 
So let's dive into our Journal. 

27
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:42,200
Hello, my friends. 
Welcome to the technology. 

28
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,100
Now, podcast the show where you 
can learn about technical 

29
00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:48,100
leadership and Excellence from 
my conversations with great 

30
00:01:48,100 --> 00:01:50,900
thought, leaders in the tech 
industry, and today is the 

31
00:01:50,900 --> 00:01:54,300
episode number 105. 
If this is your first time 

32
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,600
listening to tackle the journal,
subscribe and follow the show on

33
00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,300
your podcast app and on 
LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram.

34
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:04,000
And if you'd like to support my 
journey, creating this podcast, 

35
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,400
subscribe as a patron. 
On at technology. 

36
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:10,400
No dot f / Patron. 
My guest for today's episode is 

37
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,200
Bob gallon. 
Bob is the president and 

38
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:18,300
principal agile coach at our gcg
and a prolific writer blogger. 

39
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:21,600
And also a podcaster in this 
episode Bob. 

40
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:25,400
And I discussed, many aspects of
coaching and Leadership taken 

41
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,700
from his latest book, 
extraordinarily bad ass age. 

42
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:32,600
Our coaching Bob started by 
explaining the concepts of HR 

43
00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,000
leadership and age are coaching 
he shared about the Different 

44
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,900
primary coaching stances and why
he suggests that coaching is 

45
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:42,500
really an essential core 
leadership skill. 

46
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:46,700
Bob then went into details to 
describe the skills, required to

47
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:50,300
become a good coach such as 
asking powerful questions and 

48
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:54,500
becoming powerful listeners 
towards the EM, Bob also shared 

49
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:57,800
some tips that we can use for 
coaching up and for coaching the

50
00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:02,400
middle managers, which in a way 
is like coaching the coaches, I 

51
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:05,100
really enjoyed my conversation 
with Bob to me. 

52
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:08,300
This is like Like a master class
session on coaching and I learn 

53
00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:12,200
a lot and took many practical 
tips on how to improve myself, 

54
00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,200
especially to become a better 
leader. 

55
00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:17,900
And if you also enjoy listening 
to this episode, please help, 

56
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,900
share it with your friends and 
colleagues, who can also benefit

57
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:24,200
from listening to this episode. 
It is my ultimate mission to 

58
00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:27,600
spread this podcast to more 
people and I really appreciate 

59
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,900
your support in any way towards 
fulfilling my mission. 

60
00:03:31,300 --> 00:03:34,000
Before we continue to the 
conversation, let's hear some 

61
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,300
words from our sponsors. 
Destiny, T is the top 

62
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,900
International software 
development conference with an 

63
00:03:39,900 --> 00:03:43,900
emphasis on coding, architecture
and tag leadership skills. 

64
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:47,500
The lineup for this year is 
truly stellar and features many 

65
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:51,300
Legends in software development 
names, such as Robert Uncle Bob,

66
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:56,200
Martin can back Scott Hanselman,
Franca subramanyam Carolyn 

67
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,600
honey, Alan Halep, Mary, 
poppendieck, and many other 

68
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,900
prominent names, including some 
of those who have also appeared 

69
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:05,400
in this podcast before the 
conference. 

70
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,900
Takes place online so you can 
enjoy it from the comfort of 

71
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,400
your couch. 
We spoke to the definitey 

72
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,000
organizers, and I'm happy to 
share that technology. 

73
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,899
You know, has got the 10% 
discount code for you. 

74
00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:21,600
Enter the promo code, awsm 
underscore tlj. 

75
00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:26,100
When you purchase the ticket on 
definite e.com, here's the promo

76
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,200
code. 
One more time. 

77
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,700
Awsm underscore, tlj, see you 
there. 

78
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,300
Today's episode is proudly 
sponsored by skills matter. 

79
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,400
The global community and events 
platform with more than 100,000 

80
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:43,100
software professionals here 
members, can organize their 

81
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,900
learning experiences around the 
technology topics. 

82
00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:49,700
They care about most you get 
on-demand access to their latest

83
00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:53,000
content thought, leadership 
insights, as well, as the 

84
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:57,200
exciting schedule of tech events
running across all time zones. 

85
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,200
So whether devops our data 
science is your bus or you are 

86
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:05,100
fan of functional programming or
all things Cloud, you can make 

87
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:07,200
real connections. 
Actions with people who share 

88
00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:11,200
your interests head on over to 
skills method or calm to become 

89
00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,900
part of the tech community that 
matters most to you. 

90
00:05:14,300 --> 00:05:17,400
It's free to join and you will 
find it easy to keep up with the

91
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:22,700
latest tech Trends. 
Hello everyone, welcome to 

92
00:05:22,707 --> 00:05:24,300
another new episode of the 
package. 

93
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:28,000
You know, podcast today I have 
with me a guest someone called 

94
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,600
Bob gal he's actually very 
experienced in the a gel 

95
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,900
industry. 
He is well known as the coach of

96
00:05:34,900 --> 00:05:37,500
coaches. 
So if you imagine a coach, this 

97
00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,900
is the coach of the coaches. 
So it's like Master coat. 

98
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:44,300
So Bob has 20 plus years in the 
industry has so many 

99
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,900
certifications. 
He builds Community, very 

100
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:50,100
prominent thought leaders. 
He also writes a number of books

101
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:54,000
and he blocks a lot as well. 
Also, Bob is a podcaster. 

102
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,500
So his podcast is called, 
Medicare is, so it's a podcast 

103
00:05:57,500 --> 00:06:00,200
about a gel. 
So today, I think we are going 

104
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,600
to talk a lot about coaching 
specifically and I'm really 

105
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,300
looking forward for this topic 
because I I really love for 

106
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:10,300
coaching and I Aspire myself to 
help so many other leaders and 

107
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:13,200
people as well to grow much, 
much better in their life and 

108
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,300
their career. 
So Bob, thank you so much for 

109
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:16,900
your time. 
Looking forward for this job. 

110
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,400
Henry, thank you for inviting 
me. 

111
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,600
It's a privilege to be here and 
I really appreciate it. 

112
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,400
So I don't know if I'm a coach 
of coaches, but I try to coach 

113
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,500
quite a few people, I try to 
share my experience. 

114
00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:30,300
So sometimes people trigger on 
the term agile, coaching or 

115
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:33,600
coaching to me, it's just more 
mentoring and just helping 

116
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,800
people in sharing my experience.
So, I'm Excited to be able to do

117
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:41,400
that today with your audience. 
So Bob, I always like to start 

118
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,700
by asking the guest to introduce
themselves may be telling about 

119
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:47,100
highlights or turning points in 
your career. 

120
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:50,100
Something that is interesting 
for the listeners to know about 

121
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,400
sure. 
So I'm about Kailyn, I started 

122
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,300
out as a software developer at a
time. 

123
00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:57,100
Before most of you were born, 
I'm kidding. 

124
00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:00,900
Most of the you were born. 
So in the early 80s, my first 

125
00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:04,000
job out of college was in 1980 
as an assembler. 

126
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,100
Programmer, if anyone Ever heard
of the worship assembler? 

127
00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,600
I did that for a number of 
years. 

128
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,300
I worked on mainframes actually,
my first job out of school was 

129
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:14,900
at spare, univac and building 
ibm-compatible mainframes. 

130
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:18,000
I'm not going to tell you every 
week in my journey, but fast 

131
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000
forward, as some software 
developers. 

132
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,200
Do I was a reasonably good 
software developer and 

133
00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:25,000
architect, and people started 
promoting me as a leader. 

134
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:28,900
In a journey, became a manager 
after a few years and then a 

135
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:33,800
director at senior leadership 
roles in the mid 90s to late 

136
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,900
90s, I discovered For battle. 
The key for me was extreme 

137
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,800
programming at the time and 
scrum. 

138
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:43,100
I was an early adopter of the 
extreme programming at loosen at

139
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:47,800
Bell, labs around 2000 2001, but
before that, in the mid-90s, I 

140
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,600
have discovered scrum based on 
the white paper that schwager 

141
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,900
and Sutherland or put together 
that the time. 

142
00:07:52,900 --> 00:07:56,800
I was lucky enough that I was a 
leader and I pivoted into agile 

143
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,700
because I had influence because 
I had teams are reported to me, 

144
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:03,700
I could make them do Agile or 
encourage them to do Agile. 

145
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,800
So I would experiment I am a A 
consummate experimenter. 

146
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,300
So I was experimenting with 
scrum. 

147
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:10,500
I was experimenting with XP 
practices. 

148
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,800
So I'm an early adopter that led
into coaching not as a decision,

149
00:08:15,100 --> 00:08:18,200
but as a leader, I've always 
been a people oriented leader. 

150
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:21,700
You know, I suppress my ego and 
I realized that technical 

151
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:25,200
leadership isn't about me. 
It's about the teams and how am 

152
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:29,000
I sort of building and 
encouraging and guiding teams to

153
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:32,100
do Kick-Ass products basically 
and do great work. 

154
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,400
Magill was always a toolbox or a
way. 

155
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,600
Facilitate that. 
So my style was complimented, I 

156
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,900
didn't adopt agile, I merged 
with it because agile principles

157
00:08:42,900 --> 00:08:45,400
really dovetails nicely with my 
leadership style. 

158
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:50,200
That was in Me, Maybe late 90s, 
early 2000s around that time at 

159
00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,400
maybe if out 2005, I wrote my 
first book, it was on an agile 

160
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,200
book, James called software and 
games. 

161
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,800
It was a traditional waterfall, 
how to get things out the door 

162
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,900
book, then I start by actual 
Journey. 

163
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,400
My last per job was about 12 
years ago. 

164
00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,400
I formed a company early on and 
I did part-time consultant. 

165
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:07,100
Ting. 
But I was always hitting the 

166
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:09,600
trenches leader. 
Then about 10 years ago. 

167
00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:13,700
I decided to stop being an 
Insight leader and more of an 

168
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,100
outside consultant and I've been
doing that ever since. 

169
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,800
Thanks for sharing, AJ needs a 
list. 

170
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,700
Exciting to talk, with early 
adopters of certain 

171
00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:25,300
methodologies, things like XP, a
gel, and things like that. 

172
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,900
So always there's a lot of 
insights. 

173
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:30,000
I hope we can also dig deeper 
into this compositions. 

174
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:32,700
You measure something about a 
gel leadership. 

175
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,300
I think this is something that I
want to ask deeper. 

176
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,000
So what does it mean to be an 
agile? 

177
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,800
Leader? 
We could spend hours, probably 

178
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,100
talking about that. 
I teach some leadership. 

179
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:45,600
I'm aligned with the scrum 
Alliance and I do something 

180
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,400
called the certified agile 
leadership. 

181
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:50,300
I teach that I'm privileged 
enough to be a teacher of what 

182
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:53,700
they call their cow courses, 
which is a leadership sequence. 

183
00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:57,000
So, from that point of view, one
of the things that we try to key

184
00:09:57,000 --> 00:10:01,000
on, it's not a definition, but 
one of the central things about 

185
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,300
agile leadership is, it's not an
outwardly tracing mindset. 

186
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,400
It's an Amber Lee facing First 
mindset. 

187
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,600
What that means is lead yourself
first. 

188
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:12,200
So, forget leading other people.
What are you doing to master 

189
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,300
yourself? 
Let's use emotional 

190
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:17,200
intelligence, Henry, are we 
improving our emotional 

191
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,900
intelligence, AR, riba improving
our self-awareness. 

192
00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:23,500
I hope this makes sense. 
So think of it as an inside-out 

193
00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,300
job. 
I think so many leaders. 

194
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:29,200
They look at leadership as being
an outward thing I have to tell 

195
00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:31,300
people what to do, it's not 
about me. 

196
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,000
A lot of leaders, don't walk 
their talk, they'd tell people 

197
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,700
to do things with their not. 
King their own top. 

198
00:10:36,900 --> 00:10:41,000
So I think a central idea and 
agile leadership is be agile on 

199
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,600
the inside. 
First, don't tell people be 

200
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,100
agile, show them what it looks 
like a safety for example, to 

201
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:50,100
experiment and to fail and to 
learn Henry. 

202
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,200
No, I'm saying. 
So are you doing that yourself? 

203
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,500
And are you role-modeling 
outward? 

204
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:59,300
I actually think heart of a 
technical leader or any leaders,

205
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:02,400
one of their purse possibilities
and one of the more powerful 

206
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:06,600
coaching stances that they can 
have is how Are they showing up 

207
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,400
like their role model? 
I hate to tell you, I would 

208
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,500
people around you're watching 
you as a leader. 

209
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,600
They listen to what you say but 
they watch what you do. 

210
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,800
And what you do is so much more 
important than what you say. 

211
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,300
So the good news there is if you
are a great role model from the 

212
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:23,700
inside out that can have a 
tremendous influence. 

213
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,300
So that's something we talk a 
lot about in the class. 

214
00:11:26,900 --> 00:11:29,900
For those who listened a jelly 
that doesn't mean you are a 

215
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:33,600
leader who adopts, a certain age
of practice of methodologies is 

216
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,300
not about adopting scram and 
know. 

217
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,400
Inside out about scrum and then 
be able to deliver. 

218
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:41,800
So it's about, like Bob said, 
leading from the internal first,

219
00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,200
be agile, internally. 
And then you also can lead at 

220
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:48,000
the people from there. 
So it's not from external first,

221
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000
but it's actually the know, it's
funny, Henry, people come to my 

222
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:55,300
class and they want to hear 
scrum and kanban and XP, and 

223
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,300
they want to hear safe and 
scaling Frameworks. 

224
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:01,200
And I hardly ever mentioned 
those things in that second day,

225
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,200
they're like, Bob, I thought you
were gonna teach us about scrum 

226
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,700
leaders and I'm Like I'm sorry. 
No it's that mindset thing. 

227
00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:11,300
We're going to explore the 
mindset. 

228
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:15,400
It doesn't mean that the scrum 
or kanban isn't important but 

229
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:19,800
they're much easier to me their 
tactical, they're just methods. 

230
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,000
What's much harder for people to
get? 

231
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,500
I think is the mindset of the 
agile leader and you nailed it. 

232
00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:28,300
I'm Glad You observe that it's 
not even intentional at this 

233
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:31,300
point, it doesn't matter. 
I mean we shouldn't be talking 

234
00:12:31,300 --> 00:12:33,700
about agile leaders in 
mentioning Frameworks. 

235
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:37,600
It's just not that relevant. 
Thanks for straightening that 

236
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,400
up. 
So Bob you also wrote a book 

237
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,700
titled extraordinarily bad as a 
gel coaching has recently 

238
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:47,200
published. 
So tell us more about why you 

239
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,900
wrote this book and what about 
the badass in the title? 

240
00:12:50,700 --> 00:12:53,400
So I don't know if you've ever 
written a book but anyone who 

241
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,800
has at least for me, a book is a
lot of work. 

242
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,600
So I need energy to start a 
book. 

243
00:12:59,900 --> 00:13:03,300
I need something that's bugging 
me or something that I'm 

244
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,300
passionate about. 
I've been coaching. 

245
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,900
Being an agile coaching for 
decades. 

246
00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:11,000
Basically, what I've noticed 
lately is the world of agile 

247
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,600
coaching, Everyone's an agile 
coach. 

248
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,700
If you look on LinkedIn or in 
Social Network, everyone has 

249
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:18,600
agile coaching in their title 
and it just bugs be. 

250
00:13:18,900 --> 00:13:21,100
It's like what the ha it's like 
a buzzword. 

251
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:26,000
And so, to me, agile coaching is
a profession, it's a craft. 

252
00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:29,500
So one of the reasons I wrote 
the book and I had energy around

253
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:31,500
writing it, not that I'm going 
to solve that problem. 

254
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:35,300
But so, but I wanted to do 
something to raise the bar. 

255
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,600
Wave from mediocrity and agile 
coaching because I think 

256
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,100
coaching makes such a 
difference. 

257
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:43,300
It can be potentially A 
Difference Maker in teams and in

258
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,800
organizations and cultures, we 
shouldn't trivialize it. 

259
00:13:46,900 --> 00:13:48,700
So that was the Genesis behind 
it. 

260
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:51,500
Now it's still a lot of work. 
So along the way, I burned out a

261
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:54,400
little bit, I'm like, oh my 
gosh, but we must be finished. 

262
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,100
Soon the good news I partnered 
with a few people to co-write it

263
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:00,300
with me and that was a new 
project for me. 

264
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:03,000
I had not done that before so 
that was kind of cool. 

265
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:06,100
The badass to me is indicative 
of Of what I'm talking about. 

266
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:09,600
Raising the bar and really 
moving from mediocrity to like 

267
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,400
high performance or excellence 
in agile coaching. 

268
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,000
So to me you're never done being
a badass. 

269
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:18,600
The other thing I wanted to 
communicate is that your journey

270
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,300
and agile coaching is never 
done. 

271
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:24,100
I would argue your journey into 
agile leadership is never done. 

272
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,900
If you stop and say, I am an 
agile leader or I'm a technical 

273
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,900
leader. 
If you ever stop, you have just 

274
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:34,500
failed from my point of view if 
you stop learning and growing 

275
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,200
and challenging. 
Yourself that you've missed the 

276
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,900
point and that's the same point 
to me. 

277
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:43,700
Now, Henry, when I've added the 
title, with some people around 

278
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:47,000
the world, maybe 50% of the 
people I pinged on the title, 

279
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:51,200
they were like all we really 
like badass in the title and 50%

280
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,700
of the people were offended, or 
like, all my God, you know what 

281
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:55,400
badass means? 
That's terrible. 

282
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,400
So, I was stuck. 
I was almost done with the book 

283
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:02,400
and I'm like, now, what do I do?
Do I keep badass, you read parts

284
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,100
of the book ayat, sprinkled the 
word everywhere. 

285
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,200
And had badassery and things 
like that. 

286
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:10,500
So like do I change it? 
And then I thought for at least 

287
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,800
a long weekend and I was really 
torn but I said you know what 

288
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:18,100
the heart of the book is this 
notion of excellence and so I 

289
00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:21,700
kept it in the title so I hope I
don't offend anyone with it. 

290
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:25,500
Thanks for saying this fun fact,
Story the background why you 

291
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,700
chose the title to me? 
I think that as a so it can mean

292
00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,000
good rice, not something that 
always necessarily a bad 

293
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,600
connotation. 
So you mentioned about a gel 

294
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,900
coach these days. 
So many people, That in the 

295
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:38,300
title and it's not just a job 
coach. 

296
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,600
It could be like personal coach 
life, coach whatever, trainer 

297
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,400
coach. 
But the first thing that I would

298
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,800
like to clarify with you since 
you have done it. 

299
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,700
So many years, what is the 
definition of coaching? 

300
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,500
Actually? 
So many people use the other 

301
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,400
terms, like, mentoring. 
What? 

302
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,200
Are the difference? 
Actually, if there's any. 

303
00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:56,200
So, what is your definition of 
coaching? 

304
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,400
It's a good question. 
One of the things I anchored on 

305
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,400
in the book, so people get 
confused. 

306
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,200
Another reason I wrote the book 
is there's confusion. 

307
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,400
In Industry, there's something 
called professional coaching. 

308
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,200
There's the international 
coaching Federation and they 

309
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:13,700
have training and certification 
and it's a wonderful body. 

310
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:17,300
Professional coaching is sort of
like counseling if you want to 

311
00:16:17,308 --> 00:16:19,100
think about that. 
It's asking questions. 

312
00:16:19,100 --> 00:16:22,700
Basically, if you want to think 
about professional coaching, you

313
00:16:22,700 --> 00:16:26,300
never ever give anyone advice or
you don't tell them what to do, 

314
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:28,700
you help them to discover their 
Journey. 

315
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:31,600
So there's the notion of 
professional coaching of asking 

316
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,800
powerful questions. 
So that your coaching client, 

317
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,300
whether it's Individual or a 
team, you could coach a group, a

318
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:42,100
scrum team, or whatever, you're 
asking questions and it's their 

319
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:44,000
agenda. 
So, there's rules for 

320
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:48,300
professional coaching agile. 
Coaching is a superset of 

321
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:51,300
professional coaching. 
The model that I've anchored on,

322
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,800
is something called the agile 
coaching. 

323
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,100
Growth wheel. 
The agile coaching growth wheel 

324
00:16:55,100 --> 00:17:00,400
has multiple stances or multiple
postures or multiple instances 

325
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,600
of like how do you show up as a 
coach? 

326
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,800
One of them is professional 
coaching. 

327
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,599
Is that makes Sense. 
So what I just described as 

328
00:17:06,599 --> 00:17:10,500
professional coaching, is a 
subset of agile coaching another

329
00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,700
subset. 
I'm going to call them Henry 

330
00:17:12,700 --> 00:17:17,400
stances or competencies so 
competencies and stances. 

331
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,800
But I like the word stance 
because it's like a posture. 

332
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,099
So, professional coaching is one
posture. 

333
00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:25,200
You mentioned one, mentoring is 
another posture. 

334
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,599
If I'm coaching people, I could 
Mentor them. 

335
00:17:27,599 --> 00:17:32,100
Another posture is training, I 
can teach them and they're 

336
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,800
different to me. 
Mentoring is showing and 

337
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,200
partnering. 
Earth may be apprenticeship to 

338
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:39,900
me pairing. 
An apprenticeship is a mentoring

339
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:43,700
stance if you will, and that 
teaching is wrong, teaching 

340
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,900
going through a class or 
literally directing someone with

341
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,900
knowledge. 
There's two more stances in the 

342
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:51,600
wheel. 
Both of mentoring a teaching is 

343
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,500
called guided learning. 
Another stance is facilitating 

344
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,900
workshops facilitating meetings.
Being a good facilitator, that's

345
00:17:57,900 --> 00:18:01,900
an art in and of itself, is 
facilitating a meeting to a good

346
00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,700
outcome. 
There's a myriad of tools and 

347
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,700
nowadays. 
As Miro and facilitation boards 

348
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,800
are wonderful ways. 
You can do it virtually. 

349
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:14,200
So having being Artful there, 
another stance that was new to 

350
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:20,100
the wheel is advising, providing
advice or consulting or let me 

351
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:23,100
dare, I say it telling someone 
what to do Henry, you know what 

352
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,400
I mean? 
Like, to think he'll do it this 

353
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,900
way being a bit more 
prescriptive. 

354
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,400
Can you see the challenge with 
an agile? 

355
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:34,300
Coach is picking in service to 
the client in serving, whoever 

356
00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:36,900
you're coaching. 
What is their agenda? 

357
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,100
But then showing up in a 
different stance based on what 

358
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:42,400
they need. 
Now, I call it dancing in the 

359
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,500
stances, how I think of it as 
dancing. 

360
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,400
I'm not a dancer clearly, if you
saw him the rest of my body, I'm

361
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,400
not a dancer. 
I'm not very Nimble, but I'm 

362
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:54,200
mentally Nimble because in my 
mind, it's like dance with the 

363
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:56,800
client. 
So I may start out with what 

364
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,100
asking them questions. 
I might start out in coaching 

365
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,100
stance, I hope this is helping 
and then if I determine that 

366
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,300
they need to be taught 
something, then I would switch 

367
00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:07,100
to teaching staff. 
It's if I see that the class 

368
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:10,400
isn't Landing, I might switch to
mentoring stands and show them 

369
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,700
how to do it and then I might go
back to professional coaching 

370
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:16,400
and ask them, how did that go? 
How did it land for you and how 

371
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,100
do I make it better? 
So everyone what I just did is 

372
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,700
that was agile coaching in that.
I switched stances. 

373
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,600
If that makes sense in service 
to my client if that help. 

374
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,800
Yeah. 
Yeah, suddenly, so, obviously, 

375
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,700
I'm trying to make it less 
abstract Soul, you mentioned 

376
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:36,600
about coaching stances things 
like Seeing guided learning 

377
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,500
things like teaching mentoring 
leading. 

378
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:42,500
Also I think leading people show
them how to do it facilitating. 

379
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,600
So thanks for sharing all the 
instances. 

380
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,600
I have one interest when you 
mention in the beginning about 

381
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,900
professional coaching, it's not 
necessarily just telling the 

382
00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:54,800
clients, but actually asking 
questions so that the clients 

383
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,900
know how to solve their own 
problem. 

384
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,200
It's not the coach agenda. 
So this I think is the probably 

385
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,100
distinguishing character between
a good coach versus a normal or 

386
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:09,700
Bad coach tell us more how can 
lead us be more in this kind of 

387
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:14,000
mode because I think leaders has
very crucial role in every team 

388
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,500
and their role. 
One of it is to coach not 

389
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,300
necessarily always to make 
decisions. 

390
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,300
How can a leader show in this 
kind of asking question mode 

391
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:26,100
rather than always directing? 
I actually think that leaders 

392
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,300
need to be agile coaches. 
Now, explain what I mean by 

393
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,600
that? 
So one of the things, one of my 

394
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:35,400
biggest regrets in the book is, 
oh, I have many regrets The 

395
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:38,800
minute that you hit code freeze,
the minute you hit Freese and 

396
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,000
you publish a book at least for 
me, I reflect. 

397
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,400
And I'm like, oh, I made some 
mistakes. 

398
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,000
I wish I would have changed 
that. 

399
00:20:44,100 --> 00:20:48,400
So the title we talked about the
title before it has a job 

400
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,700
coaching in the title and it 
almost seems like the book. 

401
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:55,400
If you look at it on the surface
the book is focused to Agile. 

402
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,900
Coaches Henry, I'm sure you read
it that way. 

403
00:20:58,100 --> 00:21:01,500
Although this is a book for 
agile coaches and it's a big 

404
00:21:01,500 --> 00:21:04,500
mistake on my part. 
What I wish I would have done 

405
00:21:04,500 --> 00:21:07,400
somehow. 
How is communicated that this is

406
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,600
a book of coaching skills and I 
think anyone could benefit so 

407
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,800
I'm not trying to turn leaders 
into agile. 

408
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,600
Coaches. 
What I'm trying to say is be 

409
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:21,700
aware of coaching, competencies 
become more aware of coaching 

410
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:25,500
competencies and coaching skills
and realize that in order to be 

411
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:29,900
a more effective leader, you 
need to be a coach done period 

412
00:21:29,900 --> 00:21:33,400
and it's not a professional 
coach, it's an agile coach. 

413
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,800
And what I mean by that is 
Becoming an agile coach by your 

414
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,500
business card. 
But all of those stances are 

415
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:42,000
talked about. 
If you're serving the people in 

416
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,600
your team, sometimes the right 
thing to do is not ask them 

417
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:46,600
questions. 
Henry. 

418
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,800
Does that make sense? 
What if they don't have the 

419
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,400
answer? 
What if they don't know what if 

420
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,200
they desperately need to be 
taught? 

421
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,800
And you just keep asking 
questions? 

422
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:56,200
We'll how do you think you 
should do that? 

423
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,700
I call it death by a thousand 
questions. 

424
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:03,600
So professional coaching is 
appropriate as long as it's the 

425
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:07,800
right stance in the Situation to
serve, whoever you're coaching. 

426
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,200
So what I want is leaders 
managers directors, senior 

427
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,100
execs. 
I think if you want to become a 

428
00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:18,800
better leader then I think one 
of your core skills. 

429
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:21,500
Not technical skills, but 
course, go should be coaching 

430
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,700
skills. 
If you look at the world in that

431
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:27,100
way, then the book could be very
helpful and then the wheel is 

432
00:22:27,100 --> 00:22:29,600
very helpful because of its 
start, looking at yourself. 

433
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,300
Like sometimes you have to lead 
in fact, if you looked at the 

434
00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:36,200
wheel Henry in the middle of the
wheel, Is something called 

435
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,900
self-mastery, doesn't that align
with what we talked about 

436
00:22:39,900 --> 00:22:43,600
earlier that agile leadership or
leadership is an inside-out job.

437
00:22:43,700 --> 00:22:47,200
It parallels that wonderfully. 
So if you want to be a better 

438
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,700
Coach, it starts. 
By are you coachable? 

439
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,700
Are you learning yourself? 
Are you a good role model? 

440
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,500
I think there's a wonderful 
connection between coaching not 

441
00:22:56,500 --> 00:23:00,300
agile, coaching the business 
card or the title, but agile 

442
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:04,100
coaching competencies, and 
skills in a well-rounded way to 

443
00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:05,800
leadership effectiveness. 
Goodness. 

444
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,800
So how do you start that? 
You look at the wheel, you 

445
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,000
assess yourself, you assess your
strengths. 

446
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,700
I'm sure some leaders are 
stronger in some stances than 

447
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,400
others. 
That's fantastic, assess your 

448
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:20,300
weaknesses and then start to 
relentlessly improve yourself. 

449
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:22,800
In fact, I would say it starts 
at you are a coach. 

450
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,900
So anyone is listening to this 
in your technical leader, I have

451
00:23:25,900 --> 00:23:30,400
some really bad news for you, 
whether you like it or not, you 

452
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,100
are a coach. 
So suck it up. 

453
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:38,000
Except that And now, if you are 
coaching people, you're not 

454
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,500
coaching, algorithms your 
coaching people your coaching's 

455
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:45,600
teams, your coaching peers and 
your coaching leaders at the 

456
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,500
ecosystem around you, whether 
you like it or not, I mean, 

457
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:51,200
you're coaching it just by 
showing up and role modeling, so

458
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,100
you're coaching even when you 
don't know it. 

459
00:23:53,300 --> 00:23:57,000
So, take control of that and 
become a better Coach become 

460
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,500
curious about coaching, and I 
think that'll make you a better 

461
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:02,600
leader. 
Thanks for clarifying. 

462
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,900
That so yes, when I saw the 
title of the book, I also 

463
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,900
thought that this is going to be
a book about a job coaching, but

464
00:24:08,900 --> 00:24:12,200
when I read it, there's so many 
good things, the insights, how 

465
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,900
to be a good code. 
It touch on about competencies 

466
00:24:14,900 --> 00:24:18,300
and skills and maybe this is 
also related to the a gel growth

467
00:24:18,300 --> 00:24:20,300
will that you mentioned. 
What are the some of the 

468
00:24:20,300 --> 00:24:23,900
competencies and skills that 
asks technically does need to be

469
00:24:23,900 --> 00:24:28,600
aware of to become a good coach.
Again it comes back to the wheel

470
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,300
so advising I'd say it starts 
with Self-awareness. 

471
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,900
But then asking good open-ended 
questions. 

472
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:37,600
So now I'm coming back to 
professional coaching. 

473
00:24:37,900 --> 00:24:40,700
Remember that place I was 
talking about but it's not all 

474
00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:43,200
about that. 
I would say that's a good place 

475
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,200
to start for any technical 
leader. 

476
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,100
That's a good stance to check 
because it's not about you 

477
00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:51,800
solving problems or it's not 
about you telling people what to

478
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,600
do. 
It's about you helping them 

479
00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,200
discover their way and I think 
there's an art to asking. 

480
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,300
Good, open-ended questions or 
powerful question? 

481
00:25:00,300 --> 00:25:02,600
So study them. 
There's literally everyone a 

482
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,100
book on Amazon entitled, 
powerful questions. 

483
00:25:06,300 --> 00:25:10,400
And if you ever wanted to have 
like 8000 questions to ask good,

484
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,200
open-ended questions. 
I mean, it's got thousands of 

485
00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,500
questions. 
I'm not suggesting you have to 

486
00:25:15,500 --> 00:25:19,900
read all but the point is become
Artful with asking questions. 

487
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,700
The second thing I always joke 
in my classes asking a powerful 

488
00:25:23,700 --> 00:25:26,900
question is only part of it. 
Powerful listening is the other 

489
00:25:26,900 --> 00:25:29,600
part. 
I find that a lot of people. 

490
00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:31,300
I'm going to pick on technical 
leader. 

491
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:36,900
We suck at listening, we suck at
patients and Henry, not you and 

492
00:25:36,900 --> 00:25:39,400
not anyone listening to 
podcasts, but other people in 

493
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:43,300
the universe. 
And so, I think slowing down and

494
00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:46,900
really carefully letting your 
questions land, given some 

495
00:25:46,900 --> 00:25:50,900
folks, time to think about it, 
actually practicing silence. 

496
00:25:51,300 --> 00:25:54,700
Silence is a wonderful friend 
for everyone patients and then 

497
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:58,000
helping re-clarify. 
So do some studies and Powerful 

498
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,100
listening. 
There's something in the book 

499
00:26:00,100 --> 00:26:02,800
called the coaching Arc. 
Think of it as a way of having a

500
00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,400
conversation structure, guide 
like a chess metaphor opening 

501
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,500
moves, middle game in and gave 
Landing it. 

502
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,400
Think in terms when you're 
coaching people in coaching 

503
00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,900
sessions of having an art. 
What's nice about that? 

504
00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:18,600
Coaching mindset is, it's about 
the client very often, at least 

505
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,000
in my experience, technical 
leaders, they make it about the 

506
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,500
business and they make the 
conversations. 

507
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,400
So if you've ever had a 
one-on-one with someone I've 

508
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,600
made this mistake and I still 
can make the mistake when I'm 

509
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,300
under business pressure. 
I make it about Delivery and I 

510
00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:35,100
make it about solving problems 
and that's not a good one on 

511
00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:37,400
one, or I make it about, 
identifying the person's 

512
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:40,500
weaknesses, or picking at that, 
or improving them. 

513
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,900
That's not coaching the client. 
In fact, start with what is 

514
00:26:44,900 --> 00:26:47,600
their agenda, what can you do 
for them? 

515
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:49,500
That should be your first 
powerful question in a 

516
00:26:49,508 --> 00:26:52,200
one-on-one in a coaching 
conversation, what is your 

517
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:53,600
problem? 
What is your challenge? 

518
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:56,500
And what can I do to help? 
You does everyone see the 

519
00:26:56,500 --> 00:26:58,700
switch? 
It's not about me as the leader.

520
00:26:58,700 --> 00:27:01,200
It's about me serving team 
member or me. 

521
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,000
Serving the team or me serving 
multiple teams. 

522
00:27:04,300 --> 00:27:06,600
I can have a coaching 
conversation with 100 people. 

523
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,900
I can have an arc with a hundred
people. 

524
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,500
It's the posture change that 
professional coaching sort of 

525
00:27:12,500 --> 00:27:14,700
changes. 
I would say if you all entertain

526
00:27:14,700 --> 00:27:18,200
that, that's a wonderful way to 
start flipping your Leadership 

527
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,700
Model Henry. 
Any reactions to that. 

528
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,800
Yeah, I mean, so many insights. 
I'm just listening to what you 

529
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,500
described, I'm reflecting myself
because I'm so guilty of so many

530
00:27:27,500 --> 00:27:30,900
things that you mentioned. 
So for example, as Leaders we 

531
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:34,400
tend to Want to solve problems. 
Trying to improve our example, 

532
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,400
our direct reports Witnesses, or
maybe the parts where they do 

533
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,100
not do effectively. 
The other thing is about 

534
00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:43,300
listening, sometimes as 
technically there's when we ask 

535
00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:46,800
the question, we already have a 
judgment and answer that. 

536
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,200
We are getting ready to reply 
back to the person. 

537
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,000
I think all this is common for 
many leaders out. 

538
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,000
There is like a bias that we 
have, so thanks for mentioning 

539
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,600
that I think really, really, 
very good techniques, right? 

540
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,800
These powerful questions and 
Powerful, listening, if we can 

541
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,500
dive Deeper into each of these 
powerful questions. 

542
00:28:03,500 --> 00:28:06,200
What would be some of your 
favorite powerful questions? 

543
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,400
But maybe if you can, maybe 
teach us here, what are some of 

544
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,500
the examples or maybe behaviors 
that we want to dig deeper by 

545
00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:15,100
those powerful questions. 
So, do so seller. 

546
00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:17,000
Would recommend I talk about in 
the book. 

547
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:19,100
The coaching habit is another 
book. 

548
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,000
It's actually not a coaching 
product and it's not an agile 

549
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,100
book, it's not a technical 
leadership book. 

550
00:28:25,100 --> 00:28:28,400
It's a generic leadership book. 
So it's a nice book that 

551
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,900
supports what I was just saying 
and what the author Came up with

552
00:28:32,100 --> 00:28:35,000
he shared one of the dangers. 
Would powerful questions. 

553
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,600
Henry is there so many choices 
I've seen in experienced 

554
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,400
coaches. 
They spent so much time trying 

555
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,700
to pick the perfect question, 
because they have so many 

556
00:28:42,700 --> 00:28:45,600
choices and it makes the 
coaching very awkward because 

557
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,200
you can see the person going 
through the algorithm to try to 

558
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:52,000
depict Perfect Situation. 
Apprised it the person being 

559
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:53,700
coaches, like, and you will 
what? 

560
00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:57,600
Please ask another question. 
So there's too many choices or 

561
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,700
there can be. 
So he has seven and I love the 

562
00:29:00,700 --> 00:29:03,500
Simplicity of Of the bottle. 
I like to identify them as to 

563
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:06,100
where in a coaching art, they 
might be most appropriate. 

564
00:29:06,100 --> 00:29:08,900
So the first question is to 
kick-start, question, what's on 

565
00:29:08,900 --> 00:29:10,800
your mind? 
Beautiful question. 

566
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,400
Everyone would meet beautiful 
question, what's on your mind? 

567
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:18,200
Stop, don't tell him what's on 
your mind, what's on their mind?

568
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,400
And then listen, just listen to 
that. 

569
00:29:20,700 --> 00:29:23,300
The second one is and what else?
The all question? 

570
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:25,800
And what else? 
So, what's on your mind? 

571
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,300
And what else meant? 
Let that lay ahead. 

572
00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,200
And that's setting the agenda. 
A room would be so that's it. 

573
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,100
Putting move question. 
Both of those can be nicely done

574
00:29:34,100 --> 00:29:36,600
in the opening moves, its 
setting the agenda. 

575
00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,200
Oh what do you think we should 
cover? 

576
00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:39,400
What do you need? 
The most help with. 

577
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,900
What would you like to cover in 
this conversation as everyone 

578
00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:44,900
see the agenda? 
Is that coming from me? 

579
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:48,400
The agenda is coming from who 
I'm coaching and I'm serving 

580
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,400
them. 
Now, of course, if we're in the 

581
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,500
middle of a project, I would 
hope that some of the things on 

582
00:29:53,500 --> 00:29:57,200
their mind, ours, challenges 
that they have so that I have 

583
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,000
it. 
The third question is a focus 

584
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,200
question. 
What's the real challenge here? 

585
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:04,600
For you or to you. 
So now there are these questions

586
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:06,100
that are going a little bit 
deeper. 

587
00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,100
I think of it as the five wise, 
if you've ever heard of the five

588
00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:12,400
ask, why multiple times you're 
trying to drill into 

589
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,400
understanding? 
So, that's a wonderful question 

590
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,900
to get below the surface on 
something. 

591
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,900
The foundation. 
Question is, what do you want? 

592
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,100
Wonderful question, probably not
opening moves. 

593
00:30:24,100 --> 00:30:27,000
Now we've moved into middle game
and you could use these wherever

594
00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:29,200
you want but there's a place in 
the middle. 

595
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,400
Okay. 
What do you want? 

596
00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:33,400
What would you like? 
See, happen is a variation of 

597
00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,300
that, right? 
What would help you right now? 

598
00:30:36,500 --> 00:30:39,500
What's the priority the lazy 
question is? 

599
00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,200
How can I help? 
If you notice Henry? 

600
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,600
Now, what's happening is, this 
is giving me permission to then 

601
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,900
provide guidance if you're with 
me, but I haven't gone in with 

602
00:30:49,900 --> 00:30:53,200
my guns, blazing telling people 
what's wrong, and what they need

603
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,000
to do. 
I'm actually asking permission 

604
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,600
as a coach. 
I hope this is opening, right? 

605
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,100
I'm listening. 
How can I help Henry you? 

606
00:31:01,300 --> 00:31:03,900
Talk about as Leaders. 
We always have, I want to help 

607
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:06,800
five things and they don't pick 
any of my five. 

608
00:31:06,900 --> 00:31:10,200
They pick another one. 
Do I guide them to one of mine 

609
00:31:10,300 --> 00:31:13,700
or do I take theirs? 
And the answer is I take theirs 

610
00:31:15,100 --> 00:31:17,200
and I put mine on the show for a
little bit. 

611
00:31:17,700 --> 00:31:21,300
So there's something called the 
Strategic question and I love 

612
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:24,300
this one, it's maybe not 
appropriate but if you're saying

613
00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:28,300
yes to this what do you say no 
to, it's the priority question. 

614
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,700
It's the avoiding multitasking 
question or Avoiding excessive 

615
00:31:32,700 --> 00:31:35,900
work in progress question and I 
think it's appropriate for all 

616
00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:38,300
of us. 
So if you say yes to this 

617
00:31:38,300 --> 00:31:40,400
redesign, what do you have to 
say? 

618
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,500
No to. 
Okay, what do you have to stop 

619
00:31:43,500 --> 00:31:46,200
doing? 
Let that question later on the 

620
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:49,000
learning question, this is a 10 
game question. 

621
00:31:49,900 --> 00:31:52,600
What was most useful to you in 
this coaching session? 

622
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,900
Here's something. 
I want more leaders to ask Henry

623
00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,300
how could I have made this 
coaching session better for you.

624
00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,900
What could I have done? 
Better. 

625
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:06,000
I hope everyone is sensing all 
of these questions and even the 

626
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,400
way I've been playing them 
about, I hope you see that. 

627
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,500
It's not about me. 
Did you notice that? 

628
00:32:10,700 --> 00:32:14,300
It's really about me. 
It's about be helping someone 

629
00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,300
else, and I think that's a key 
mindset. 

630
00:32:16,500 --> 00:32:20,200
So, starting with coaching and 
Drilling in, I'd highly 

631
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,100
recommend you read the book, 
it's relatively short. 

632
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,500
And you start practicing these 
questions in your one-on-ones. 

633
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:30,400
You could use these in a group 
setting Etc and switch that 

634
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:33,600
posture from Hey everyone, I'm 
the boss here. 

635
00:32:33,900 --> 00:32:37,300
I know what's going on. 
Switch that posture to 

636
00:32:37,300 --> 00:32:41,400
activating your team. 
And my experience is that will 

637
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:45,000
grow the capability of your 
teams and they will blow your 

638
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,000
socks off. 
Because now it's not about you, 

639
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,200
it's about them growing but 
that's just me. 

640
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,000
Wow. 
And I listen to you explaining 

641
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,100
this 7, powerful questions. 
It's adapted from the book 

642
00:32:57,100 --> 00:32:59,700
called the coaching habit. 
So if you haven't heard, make 

643
00:32:59,700 --> 00:33:01,100
sure you check it out on your 
book. 

644
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,800
Store, right? 
So the coaching habit, 

645
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,300
Advocates, 7 powerful questions.
So the way Bob explained I was 

646
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:09,900
looking back in my one-on-one 
habit because I also want to 

647
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:13,000
improve my one-on-one skills. 
Sometimes it's really hard 

648
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,800
depending on the person as well.
Sometimes they share more 

649
00:33:15,800 --> 00:33:19,300
sometimes they don't talk. 
So I think these seven powerful 

650
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:22,800
questions can be a framework for
everyone who listens here, maybe

651
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:25,500
in your one-on-one or in your 
problem solving kind of 

652
00:33:25,500 --> 00:33:28,600
discussions, you can start with 
all this and the beauty is that 

653
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:32,100
it follows the coaching Arc. 
So there's a There's a middle 

654
00:33:32,100 --> 00:33:34,200
and there's n. 
Thanks for sharing all this. 

655
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:36,900
I will make sure myself to read 
this book and learn more from 

656
00:33:36,900 --> 00:33:39,700
this powerful questions. 
The other skill that you 

657
00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:41,700
mentioned is about powerful 
listening. 

658
00:33:41,900 --> 00:33:44,300
I think it's equally important 
like I mentioned, right? 

659
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:47,500
So many leaders have their own 
biases and they don't, listen 

660
00:33:47,700 --> 00:33:51,400
they don't listen fully so tell 
us more how we can be a powerful

661
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:53,800
listeners. 
I didn't even write in the book 

662
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,200
Henry. 
I've been a technical manager or

663
00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:00,100
a leader for ears, and one of 
the things I used to do and I 

664
00:34:00,108 --> 00:34:02,500
still sometimes do it. 
I have to fight it but were you 

665
00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:05,600
were talking about? 
I'm thinking ahead as a leader 

666
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,500
and I know what the problems and
I have five Solutions. 

667
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,600
I'm waiting for an opportunity 
to tell everyone out of fix 

668
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,600
themselves, so I'm actually not 
listening to them. 

669
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:18,300
I mean I'm sort of listening but
I'm multitasking maybe 20% of my

670
00:34:18,300 --> 00:34:22,500
CPU is listening and 80% of my 
CPU is waiting to tell them what

671
00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:25,300
to do. 
Someone told me that talking 

672
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:29,100
versus listening that you have 
idle time and it really 

673
00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:33,800
resonated with me even a fast. 
Talker is only taking up like 10

674
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:36,800
or 20% of your brain. 
Some people are really good at 

675
00:34:36,800 --> 00:34:41,699
using the other 80% to observe 
but I'm not I have a tendency to

676
00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:46,199
multitask in my head so I 
started taking notes and I don't

677
00:34:46,199 --> 00:34:50,400
need the notes but I started 
using note keeping as a way to 

678
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:53,300
take up that idle time. 
I hope this is helping everyone 

679
00:34:53,500 --> 00:34:57,300
is so I actually take detailed 
notes and what it's doing is 

680
00:34:57,300 --> 00:35:01,500
slowing me down so that I'm a 
better listener, it's not About 

681
00:35:01,500 --> 00:35:04,400
the note, keeping it's about the
note, keeping to be a better 

682
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,900
listener. 
The other thing is, I think it's

683
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:10,500
not just think about the words, 
but become an observer part of 

684
00:35:10,508 --> 00:35:12,700
powerful. 
Listening is observing someone's

685
00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:15,700
body language observing their 
intonation. 

686
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,700
What if someone like their hands
start moving when they talk 

687
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:21,200
about a problem? 
I like, oh my gosh, you know, 

688
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,500
I've been working on this for 
like five days as I listened to 

689
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:26,600
her, what they're doing is 
they're giving you extra 

690
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,000
information and you could 
explore that. 

691
00:35:29,100 --> 00:35:32,200
I could say Henry. 
Tell me more about Your hands. 

692
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,600
What's going on? 
This must be really frustrating 

693
00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,700
or really challenging for you 
tell me more about what's going 

694
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:40,800
on. 
Everyone, if I wasn't paying 

695
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,300
attention to the his hands, or 
if I wasn't using it to 

696
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:48,000
understand, he was communicating
or his intonation. 

697
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,300
If his voice goes up, that 
something might be happening. 

698
00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:54,700
So I think powerful listening is
not just listening to the words,

699
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,500
but listening to body language, 
listening to intonation. 

700
00:35:58,700 --> 00:36:00,900
Also listening to the emotional 
field. 

701
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,200
Coaches talk about the emotional
field. 

702
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,500
Sometimes even what's not said, 
one of my most powerful 

703
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:11,100
listening aspects is, what if 
someone didn't ask me for help, 

704
00:36:11,700 --> 00:36:14,400
so Henry comes to me talking 
about a problem. 

705
00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:17,000
He hasn't seen his children for 
five days. 

706
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:20,900
He forgot their names. 
He's been working 24 hours a day

707
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,900
and sweat is coming off. 
And he just promises promises 

708
00:36:23,900 --> 00:36:26,800
promises and then that's the end
of the conversation. 

709
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:31,000
So he never asked me for help as
a coach, as a leader. 

710
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,900
Should I consider why I might 
actually want to reflect later 

711
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:37,100
and then have another 
conversation with Henry? 

712
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,300
It's like does he consider me 
not helpful, does he consider me

713
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:44,300
an ogre? 
Is it unsafe for him to ask for 

714
00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:46,700
help? 
Have I created an environment 

715
00:36:46,700 --> 00:36:50,600
where it lacks safety or have I 
not encouraged him or what? 

716
00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:53,500
There's something going on there
everyone with me, Henry 

717
00:36:53,500 --> 00:36:57,300
communicated something to me 
without communicating if I'm not

718
00:36:57,300 --> 00:36:59,100
really listening. 
I think of it as having my 

719
00:36:59,100 --> 00:37:01,000
antenna up, I need to be 
listening. 

720
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,500
On all channels. 
Maybe that's the way to think 

721
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:05,200
about to me. 
Powerful this thing. 

722
00:37:05,700 --> 00:37:08,700
Another big part of it is in 
reflecting back. 

723
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,300
Telling Henry, what I heard, did
you notice in my example? 

724
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:14,500
I observe. 
So part of reflection was I saw 

725
00:37:14,500 --> 00:37:17,500
his hands moving and that was an
exaggerated example. 

726
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,800
What if Henry was like this, 
when he was talking about dates,

727
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:23,500
his eyes were down. 
He was looking at his feet. 

728
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,200
Henry, are you going to hit the 
date? 

729
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,000
I don't know. 
Yeah, maybe I will. 

730
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,800
I'll try. 
I'll try really hard. 

731
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:33,800
He hasn't made eye contact. 
Maybe I call that out. 

732
00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:37,500
Not in the confrontational way. 
Henry, you're not looking at me 

733
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:40,800
clearly something's going on. 
So what I'm doing is it's not 

734
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:44,300
just listening on all channels 
but then reflecting back and 

735
00:37:44,300 --> 00:37:47,500
clarifying if that makes sense 
thinking about it, how do I get 

736
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:49,200
better? 
Communication, how do I make it 

737
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,700
safer that to me would be 
powerful listening and then pay 

738
00:37:52,700 --> 00:37:55,300
attention. 
I think the key thing like I 

739
00:37:55,300 --> 00:37:59,500
said is, it's our job to pay 
attention something related to 

740
00:37:59,500 --> 00:38:02,300
this. 
It's not Their job to clearly, 

741
00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:05,300
communicate to me. 
Oh, they never told me that they

742
00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:06,900
never said they couldn't hit 
that day. 

743
00:38:07,100 --> 00:38:09,500
They never said that they were 
having technical challenges. 

744
00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:14,200
It's their job, but it's also 
our job to detect it as Leaders.

745
00:38:14,300 --> 00:38:17,900
We need to become better. 
Receivers is the point. 

746
00:38:17,900 --> 00:38:20,300
Receivership is our 
responsibility of. 

747
00:38:20,300 --> 00:38:23,200
It's not just a one-way street 
is what I'm trying to 

748
00:38:23,207 --> 00:38:25,200
communicate. 
So we have a responsibility to 

749
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:27,700
become a better questioner and a
better listener. 

750
00:38:28,500 --> 00:38:30,800
Wow, it's like a master class 
for me. 

751
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,600
Like learning how to be a better
Coach or leader. 

752
00:38:33,900 --> 00:38:35,600
I think you give some practical 
tips, right? 

753
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,900
Like, for example, taking notes 
itself is a knack for you to 

754
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,500
slow down kind of like, listen, 
right? 

755
00:38:40,700 --> 00:38:43,500
Because you cannot write notes 
without listening and also like 

756
00:38:43,500 --> 00:38:46,000
being at the same time. 
Otherwise you use that brain to 

757
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,700
think about something else. 
Maybe the replies. 

758
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:49,700
Are you gonna answer and things 
like that? 

759
00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:52,700
That actually is quite powerful.
For those who haven't practiced 

760
00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:56,200
this, taking notes in your 11, 
maybe also, sometimes it's not 

761
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,800
always about giving answers 
Solutions, sometimes is about 

762
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:03,600
the person wants to is their 
frustrations and just blowing up

763
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,700
the Steam and that's it, or 
should I give some solutions? 

764
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,100
So maybe as an experienced coach
or how do you determine whether 

765
00:39:10,100 --> 00:39:12,900
this is the time for you to give
Solutions or this is the time 

766
00:39:12,900 --> 00:39:15,300
for you to just listen 
acknowledge and maybe reflect 

767
00:39:15,300 --> 00:39:17,200
back, like you said, maybe any 
tips. 

768
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,400
Here's how to gauge this kind of
conversation. 

769
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,700
I want to actually show you some
videos for you. 

770
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:24,700
Inspire me Henry, there's 
something called ventilation. 

771
00:39:24,700 --> 00:39:28,700
So, I've attended professional 
coaching classes, I'm interested

772
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:31,000
in improving my coaching skills.
My professional. 

773
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,400
Drinks of and I attended 
something called, or Schoo RSC. 

774
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:37,200
It's an organizational 
relationship systems coaching. 

775
00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:40,600
And it's a system, which is 
means groups of two or more 

776
00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,400
allowing the system. 
To ventilate can be very 

777
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:46,100
helpful. 
So I used to shut that down 

778
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:48,400
because I'm uncomfortable with 
conflict. 

779
00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:51,000
We need to get something done as
a leader. 

780
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,100
I will shut down whining and 
complaining very often. 

781
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:56,600
I can shut that. 
What I've learned is not let it 

782
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:01,700
go on for days but let it go on 
allow the system to Ali, instead

783
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:04,300
of trying to neutralize it. 
So that's, I wanted to give a 

784
00:40:04,308 --> 00:40:07,500
term to what you said. 
It's not a good habit to shut 

785
00:40:07,500 --> 00:40:10,300
those things down. 
Allow them to emerge. 

786
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,800
I think is a good habit for 
that. 

787
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,300
Now I've lost your original 
question, restate your question.

788
00:40:16,700 --> 00:40:18,900
Yeah. 
So I was about to say, how do 

789
00:40:18,900 --> 00:40:21,700
you know the time for you to 
give some function? 

790
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:23,500
Thank you. 
It neutralizes. 

791
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,500
All right, so everyone I have a 
rule that I made up called the 

792
00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:30,800
95 percent rule is for coaches 
is for leaders. 

793
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:34,100
This is less of a coaching role 
and more of a leadership role 

794
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,600
but it applies to coaching the 
95% role is out of every hundred

795
00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:41,600
opportunities Henry that you get
two people come to you and they 

796
00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,700
want your wisdom. 
They want your Tactical wisdom, 

797
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:47,400
your problem-solving 
capabilities, out of every 

798
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:50,300
hundred times. 
You get five times to tell them 

799
00:40:50,300 --> 00:40:53,900
what to do. 
Otherwise, the other 95% of the 

800
00:40:53,900 --> 00:40:57,300
time, you have to shut up and 
help them solve their own 

801
00:40:57,300 --> 00:40:58,900
problem. 
Does that make sense? 

802
00:40:58,900 --> 00:41:01,800
So you get five opportunities 
and you have to keep track of 

803
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:03,600
these. 
I have not written an app but 

804
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:07,000
you can write an app and you can
call it your 95 percent rule. 

805
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:11,100
I think the best strategy is to 
keep those five in your back 

806
00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:13,700
pocket for the most crucial 
decisions. 

807
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,700
That make sense like a, someone 
comes to you and you know, that 

808
00:41:16,700 --> 00:41:19,100
they're making a fundamental 
mistake that will harm the 

809
00:41:19,100 --> 00:41:22,300
business. 
Yes, help them Henry, get in the

810
00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:26,400
game, help them fix it. 
But that takes one away you've 

811
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,900
now, lost one of your five. 
This is with a high-performance 

812
00:41:29,900 --> 00:41:32,700
team, everyone with me. 
I think the 95 percent rule 

813
00:41:32,700 --> 00:41:34,900
changes based on the experience 
level of the team. 

814
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:38,000
When I use this at a company, I 
had really high performance 

815
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,500
teams. 
So I didn't need to solve their 

816
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:42,800
problems, I needed to enable 
them to solve their own 

817
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,000
problems. 
If I had an inexperienced team, 

818
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:49,300
I would probably have the 80% or
the 75 percent rule because I 

819
00:41:49,308 --> 00:41:53,100
would need to be more 
prescriptive more often based on

820
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:55,200
the maturity or the skill set of
the team. 

821
00:41:55,500 --> 00:41:57,900
But the point is a lot of 
leaders. 

822
00:41:57,900 --> 00:42:00,700
Flip it around. 
They have 25 percent rule they 

823
00:42:00,700 --> 00:42:04,000
only Oh, shut up, five times out
of 100, everyone. 

824
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:07,300
Trusts his part of this trust 
that the team or the individuals

825
00:42:07,300 --> 00:42:09,800
will solve their own problem. 
It think about it, if you've 

826
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:13,400
hired great people, if you've 
done a good job, then they are 

827
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,800
capable. 
They don't need you to be 

828
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,300
telling them what to do, or it 
be to be situational. 

829
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:22,600
So anyone who's listening to 
this, think about creating your 

830
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,600
own percent rule, where are the 
must-haves? 

831
00:42:25,900 --> 00:42:29,500
But a lot of leaders Henry. 
In my experience, they flip it 

832
00:42:29,508 --> 00:42:32,200
around. 
It's a So, their self-worth, 

833
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:35,400
it's a sense of their 
experience, they're not honoring

834
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,800
and trusting their teams and 
they're not aware of it. 

835
00:42:39,500 --> 00:42:42,700
So that's where that 95 or the 
80% rule can really help. 

836
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,800
Again disa all really 
insightful, Biz Dev ride from 

837
00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,900
Bob about coaching for leaders 
out there if you don't practice 

838
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:52,200
all these yet. 
So I think also, it comes back 

839
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,600
to this psychological safety. 
For example, as a leader, do you

840
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,700
trust your people? 
Do you give it a chance for your

841
00:42:57,700 --> 00:43:00,900
people to try van their own not 
necessarily always for you, too?

842
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,200
Ooh, direct. 
I'm guilty of this so many times

843
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,100
as well, as a leader myself, and
I think, for those of you who 

844
00:43:06,100 --> 00:43:09,400
listen at needs time to reflect 
back, how can you come up with 

845
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:13,200
your percentage rule? 
It should not be lopsided 5% to 

846
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,400
listen and I never said, giving 
answers, but it should be motto.

847
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:20,100
It's, you know, listening and 
observing and driving people so 

848
00:43:20,100 --> 00:43:21,800
that they can solve their own 
problems. 

849
00:43:22,100 --> 00:43:25,200
And you brought up a good point.
If we hire good people, we want 

850
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,000
them to solve their own 
problems. 

851
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:30,000
Sometimes, most of the times, 
especially in high performing 

852
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:33,500
team, so Another interesting 
thing that I pick up from your 

853
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:36,000
book, you mentioned about 
coaching up. 

854
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,900
I always thought that as a 
coach, you kind of like move 

855
00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:41,800
from top to bottom, right? 
You kind of like, advice people,

856
00:43:41,900 --> 00:43:45,000
give people some advice and 
things like that, but you also 

857
00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,800
mentioned about the technique 
called coaching up, where you 

858
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,200
probably do some kind of 
coaching through the leaders, 

859
00:43:50,500 --> 00:43:52,900
tell us more about this, what's 
this term? 

860
00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:55,800
And how do we use it in 
day-to-day as a technical 

861
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:59,300
practitioners people have talked
about manager, your manager, or 

862
00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:00,900
there's Expressions that you may
have heard. 

863
00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:04,500
Third or managing up. 
So coaching up, is the 

864
00:44:04,500 --> 00:44:08,100
equivalent of that. 
I think downward is easy Henry. 

865
00:44:08,300 --> 00:44:12,300
I think it's easier for us to 
coach, or manage down and it's 

866
00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:14,500
much more challenging for us to 
coach. 

867
00:44:14,700 --> 00:44:18,500
So, for me, peer-to-peer one of 
my challenges is peer to peer 

868
00:44:18,500 --> 00:44:22,100
coaching or peer-to-peer 
management because I struggle 

869
00:44:22,100 --> 00:44:25,700
with talking, they're my peers 
and I respect them and I don't 

870
00:44:25,700 --> 00:44:28,400
know if I should be telling them
giving them advice or having 

871
00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:31,700
powerful questions with them. 
So actually for That's actually 

872
00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:34,500
my most difficult Direction and 
then there's coaching up. 

873
00:44:34,500 --> 00:44:36,900
I have an easier time coaching 
up than I do. 

874
00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:40,800
Peer to peer coaching leaders, 
my boss who I report to and it 

875
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,900
depends on that. 
I would say as a leader, we have

876
00:44:43,900 --> 00:44:48,200
a responsibility to coach and 
360°, an agile coach has a 

877
00:44:48,207 --> 00:44:51,500
responsibility to coach. 
So, as Leaders, it's that same 

878
00:44:51,500 --> 00:44:54,400
thing, I think there's risk in 
the direction. 

879
00:44:54,700 --> 00:44:57,700
So some of the directions has 
additional risk. 

880
00:44:58,100 --> 00:45:01,100
The other thing, remember I was 
talking about stances earlier, I

881
00:45:01,100 --> 00:45:04,700
was talking about this notion of
stances, I think professional 

882
00:45:04,700 --> 00:45:06,700
coaching stances. 
You're probably going to use it 

883
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:09,400
more with your team's people 
that report to you. 

884
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:14,300
I think that coaching up as much
more about advisory stance and 

885
00:45:14,300 --> 00:45:17,000
leading stands and how you're 
showing up to them. 

886
00:45:17,300 --> 00:45:20,100
Are you role modeling? 
Are you walking your own talk? 

887
00:45:20,300 --> 00:45:21,900
That really resonates with 
leaders? 

888
00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:24,800
Like you can coach up by just 
showing them what good agile. 

889
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:28,600
Let's talk about agile, delivery
business agility, and agile 

890
00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,900
teams. 
You can coach your boss. 

891
00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:34,300
This by coaching Kick-Ass teams 
and showing them. 

892
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:37,700
What Excellence looks like to 
me, that's a coaching activity. 

893
00:45:37,900 --> 00:45:41,100
That's a coaching up activity. 
It's less about asking them 

894
00:45:41,100 --> 00:45:44,200
death by a thousand questions or
something like that. 

895
00:45:44,400 --> 00:45:48,200
So your stances need to shift. 
That's I think the same thing 

896
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:50,900
with your peer. 
Another part of it is being 

897
00:45:50,900 --> 00:45:54,000
Adept with what I would call, 
crucial conversations or radical

898
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:58,100
Candor Having the courage. 
I can't tell you Henry, as an 

899
00:45:58,100 --> 00:46:00,600
outside consultant. 
I'll come into organizations 

900
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,600
this Happens to me, hundreds to 
thousands of times. 

901
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,200
I might be coaching managers and
leaders and they all come to me 

902
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,000
at, tell me their problems and 
their like, Bob will you tell 

903
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,800
them about it? 
They want me to have the crucial

904
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:16,700
conversations upward IV 
sometimes I do, but I'm like, 

905
00:46:16,700 --> 00:46:19,900
come on guys and gals. 
This is your job. 

906
00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:22,400
No, no, no. 
We want you to do it, you're so 

907
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,800
much better at it than I am, but
my point is part of radical 

908
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,900
Candor and crucial conversations
is Having the courage. 

909
00:46:29,100 --> 00:46:32,500
It's your job to have these. 
Conversations and to become more

910
00:46:32,500 --> 00:46:34,800
skilled at it. 
Actually, a, my leadership 

911
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:39,400
workshops, we use a dojo format 
to practice having what I would 

912
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:43,100
call crucial conversations so 
that people can get a little bit

913
00:46:43,100 --> 00:46:46,300
more confidence in having them 
and improve their skills. 

914
00:46:46,700 --> 00:46:49,100
So that they can have those. 
What I would call those hard 

915
00:46:49,100 --> 00:46:51,500
conversations. 
Another way to say, to speaking 

916
00:46:51,500 --> 00:46:54,700
truth to power. 
That's part of our job and a lot

917
00:46:54,700 --> 00:46:57,400
of folks avoid that for a 
variety of reasons. 

918
00:46:57,700 --> 00:47:00,700
But I think if you're in the 
coaching business or you're in 

919
00:47:00,700 --> 00:47:04,400
the Leadership, is this, you 
have to have these conversations

920
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:08,500
for your team's if not for you 
and not for the organization for

921
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:11,100
the health of your teams. 
So whatever it takes to have 

922
00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:15,900
them now, don't go It Alone, it 
takes practice and skill and 

923
00:47:15,900 --> 00:47:19,200
techniques to do that. 
I would recommend to books to 

924
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,100
read. 
There is a book called crucial 

925
00:47:21,100 --> 00:47:24,600
conversations that has a 
framework for engaging in these 

926
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,400
kinds of conversations. 
You could think of it as an arc 

927
00:47:27,700 --> 00:47:30,900
and then radical Candor is a 
wonderful book that talks about 

928
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,500
Out the Dynamics of that again, 
it's not just downward its 

929
00:47:34,500 --> 00:47:38,500
outward and upward as well. 
Well, thanks again for giving us

930
00:47:38,500 --> 00:47:41,200
recommendations of books to 
learn more about this and I 

931
00:47:41,207 --> 00:47:43,600
think you brought up a good 
point, this difficult 

932
00:47:43,600 --> 00:47:46,700
conversations, The crucial 
conversation and radical Candor.

933
00:47:46,700 --> 00:47:50,100
Sometimes we up for the easy 
way, just shut up and don't 

934
00:47:50,100 --> 00:47:52,700
mention anything because 
sometimes we fear that when we 

935
00:47:52,700 --> 00:47:55,800
say something bad to the boss, 
for example, they will raid us 

936
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,600
differently. 
Maybe they think, as a problem 

937
00:47:58,700 --> 00:48:01,600
maker or something like that. 
So I think the Responsibility 

938
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:03,500
for us. 
As a good mature leader is 

939
00:48:03,500 --> 00:48:05,900
actually to brought up this kind
of difficult conversations as 

940
00:48:05,900 --> 00:48:07,700
well. 
When I listen to you, Bob, I 

941
00:48:07,707 --> 00:48:10,800
think I can see why people tell 
you are the coach of the 

942
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,300
coaches, can you maybe give us 
some practical tips. 

943
00:48:14,300 --> 00:48:17,500
How can we actually coach those 
managers as well? 

944
00:48:17,500 --> 00:48:19,900
Because they are like the coach 
through the direct reports below

945
00:48:19,900 --> 00:48:22,300
them. 
So any kind of tips maybe as a 

946
00:48:22,300 --> 00:48:24,700
coach of the coaches. 
So, for example, if you're a 

947
00:48:24,700 --> 00:48:27,400
director and you have a manager 
below, you and the manager has 

948
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:30,800
more people below them, right? 
How can you coach this middle? 

949
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:36,100
I just saw this big so two 
ideas, I would present one is 

950
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:38,200
show them. 
This actually comes back full 

951
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:40,400
circle, Henry to what we were 
talking about. 

952
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,700
I actually think my most 
powerful coaching stance and I'm

953
00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:45,700
discovering this in my coaching 
Journey. 

954
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,900
How am I role-modeling stance? 
It's part of the leadership. 

955
00:48:48,900 --> 00:48:52,200
How am I showing up? 
I don't have to say a word. 

956
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:56,400
What if a VP comes into a room 
that I'm coaching and they start

957
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,600
blaming people for missing a 
date. 

958
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:02,500
And now people look at okay, 
Bobson, outside, coach, whatever

959
00:49:02,500 --> 00:49:05,700
there's a context there, how am 
I going to show up? 

960
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,900
You understand what I'm saying? 
Not what am I going to say? 

961
00:49:09,300 --> 00:49:12,300
But what am I going to do? 
And how do I do it? 

962
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:15,900
And I have a myriad of choices. 
I could put my head down and 

963
00:49:15,900 --> 00:49:18,300
check my phone. 
I could send that email to my 

964
00:49:18,300 --> 00:49:21,600
mom. 
I could leave the room pretend I

965
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:25,400
have to have a break or I could 
have a conversation right there 

966
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:28,100
and say Henry, really blame is 
not going to help at all. 

967
00:49:28,100 --> 00:49:30,800
In this situation, why don't I 
work with this? 

968
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,600
Team to figure out what the 
possible. 

969
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:36,200
Next steps are clearly. 
You're having a lot of emotion, 

970
00:49:36,200 --> 00:49:38,100
a lot of heat. 
Why don't I meet with you 

971
00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:40,500
afterwards? 
So I'm going to kick them off in

972
00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:42,700
facilitate, why don't you take a
break? 

973
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,500
So, what I've done, is stepped 
in and tried to facilitate a 

974
00:49:45,500 --> 00:49:49,000
session to deescalate it, that 
required a lot of Courage on my 

975
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,700
part maybe Henry was about to 
write my check. 

976
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:54,700
He was about to send me money 
and that might not work. 

977
00:49:54,700 --> 00:49:58,000
Well I might not get my money so
there's risk for me as well, but

978
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:01,200
I stepped into the risk. 
I tried to be congruent I wanted

979
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:03,300
to deflect blame and I might 
even called it out. 

980
00:50:03,300 --> 00:50:05,100
I'm like blame is not going to 
help us here. 

981
00:50:05,100 --> 00:50:08,100
Henry blame is not going to 
solve the problem, finding out 

982
00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:10,400
who made the mistake. 
What's that going to do? 

983
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:12,400
Stop that. 
All I'm trying to do is I'm 

984
00:50:12,400 --> 00:50:16,700
trying to roleplay here. 
So I think as a leader, everyone

985
00:50:16,700 --> 00:50:20,000
who reports to you, you are 
setting, I call it culture, 

986
00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,800
shaping Henry. 
That's say you have three levels

987
00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:25,500
of organization below. 
You guess what? 

988
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:28,500
The culture of that 
organization, emanates from how 

989
00:50:28,500 --> 00:50:32,400
you are showing up, if you are a
working, Haluk and you like to 

990
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:35,100
work 20 hour days. 
That's what you're setting. 

991
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,700
Guess. 
What's going to happen in the 

992
00:50:36,700 --> 00:50:39,200
organization? 
You might not ever write that 

993
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,300
down. 
If you never talk about your 

994
00:50:41,300 --> 00:50:43,900
family, Henry, no one will have.
I'm kidding. 

995
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,500
No one will ever hurt. 
But if you bring some of your 

996
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:50,300
personal self into work, if you 
honor people like work-life 

997
00:50:50,300 --> 00:50:52,400
balance, guess what happens in 
the culture? 

998
00:50:52,700 --> 00:50:56,100
So my point is, I think one of 
the best things you can do is do

999
00:50:56,100 --> 00:51:00,200
that control how you show up and
then give folks the space and 

1000
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,300
remind folks. 
Exxon, how you're showing up 

1001
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:06,300
become a culture shaper? 
So, you're coaching by not 

1002
00:51:06,300 --> 00:51:09,500
coaching. 
The second thing I would say, is

1003
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,600
create a safe environment. 
So those folks can ask you for 

1004
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:15,300
help. 
I used to sit in on one-on-ones 

1005
00:51:15,300 --> 00:51:17,800
with managers and they would ask
me, say Bob I'm struggling with 

1006
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,300
a one-on-one or I need to put 
someone on a performance 

1007
00:51:20,300 --> 00:51:23,800
Improvement, plan or whatever. 
And I'm really worried about 

1008
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,200
that, I would help them with 
that. 

1009
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:30,300
I would coach them personally to
help, so it's not only two 

1010
00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:34,500
things, but Role modeling and 
then mentoring the individuals 

1011
00:51:34,500 --> 00:51:38,100
around the ways that you're 
showing up because it's going to

1012
00:51:38,100 --> 00:51:40,400
disrupt them. 
It's going to be hard for them 

1013
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:44,000
to change from Bob, blame 
culture to an empowerment 

1014
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,400
culture. 
So help them, that would be two 

1015
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:49,000
ideas. 
Thanks so much for the tips 

1016
00:51:49,300 --> 00:51:52,100
again, like I mentioned, this is
like a master class of coaching 

1017
00:51:52,100 --> 00:51:55,000
for leaders out there. 
I myself feel being coach a lot 

1018
00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,700
today, unfortunately due to time
but I think we have to cut it 

1019
00:51:58,700 --> 00:52:02,400
pretty soon but I always have 
one Question that I asked to all

1020
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:05,000
my guests which is for you to 
share three technical 

1021
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:07,000
leadership. 
Wisdom, you mentioned about it 

1022
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:09,300
in the middle of our 
conversation, I hope you do 

1023
00:52:09,300 --> 00:52:11,800
prepare something. 
So take it like an advice that 

1024
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,400
you want to give to all the 
listeners out there, especially 

1025
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:18,400
may be related to conversation 
or to your experience, maybe if 

1026
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:20,300
you can share your three 
technical leadership with the 

1027
00:52:20,300 --> 00:52:22,900
Bob. 
I intentionally didn't prepare 

1028
00:52:22,900 --> 00:52:25,500
something because I wanted to 
challenge myself Henry. 

1029
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,400
So there's going to be a little 
bit of a, pause everyone while I

1030
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:30,700
think, but I think this is the 
better way. 

1031
00:52:31,100 --> 00:52:36,000
So, I think be genuine, as a 
technical leader, be you. 

1032
00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:39,700
Bring your whole self to work, 
not just your professional 

1033
00:52:39,700 --> 00:52:42,800
skills. 
Be you be vulnerable. 

1034
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:46,000
If you don't know, something 
show, vulnerability say, I don't

1035
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,800
know, ask for help of your 
teeth. 

1036
00:52:48,100 --> 00:52:51,500
One of the most powerful things 
as the leader you can do is ask 

1037
00:52:51,500 --> 00:52:55,000
your team to help you. 
It can have phenomenal results. 

1038
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:58,600
Help me to solve this problem 
because you're flipping it 

1039
00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:00,700
around and it feels vulnerable, 
it feels like, whoa. 

1040
00:53:00,900 --> 00:53:03,000
Well, I'm a leader. 
I need to know everything. 

1041
00:53:03,100 --> 00:53:06,600
So be genuine, be you bring your
whole self to work. 

1042
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,300
I think one-on-ones, a second 
thing. 

1043
00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:13,500
You're one-on-ones are a 
powerful change tool and we 

1044
00:53:13,500 --> 00:53:16,400
talked about that. 
So, look at your one-on-one 

1045
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:19,800
interactions and I mean, 
one-on-one coaching sessions, 

1046
00:53:20,100 --> 00:53:24,300
you are a coach, so, darn it. 
Take ownership of those events 

1047
00:53:24,300 --> 00:53:26,100
and don't make it about the 
business. 

1048
00:53:26,400 --> 00:53:30,100
The one-on-one is about the 
person that you're with and 

1049
00:53:30,100 --> 00:53:32,100
about. 
Them and it's their agenda. 

1050
00:53:32,100 --> 00:53:35,400
So try this experiment have 
powerful one-on-ones with 

1051
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:39,000
powerful listening and make it 
about the other person and their

1052
00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:41,800
agenda, lean into that and see 
what happens. 

1053
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:45,500
Organizationally just look and I
can carrot to you that your 

1054
00:53:45,500 --> 00:53:48,500
organization will improve but 
it's counterintuitive because 

1055
00:53:48,500 --> 00:53:53,300
both of those one and two are 
both sort of awkward to start 

1056
00:53:53,300 --> 00:53:55,200
with but try it and look at 
what's happening. 

1057
00:53:55,700 --> 00:53:58,900
The third thing and we didn't 
talk about it at all. 

1058
00:53:58,900 --> 00:54:02,100
Today is self care. 
I don't know if you can be a 

1059
00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:04,600
good leader if you're not taking
care of yourself. 

1060
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:09,300
I once took a survey and took 
leadership culture survey 360 

1061
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:12,200
with a lot of people. 
A lot of people that I had 

1062
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:14,500
worked with, as a leader in 
other companies. 

1063
00:54:14,900 --> 00:54:18,100
The survey came back and one of 
my weaknesses is I'm a bit of a 

1064
00:54:18,100 --> 00:54:22,900
workaholic but one of the 
comments of 15 people, like 

1065
00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:25,400
eight of them said Bob we don't 
want you to die. 

1066
00:54:25,700 --> 00:54:29,600
We're worried that you're going 
to die and I was like oh my God,

1067
00:54:29,600 --> 00:54:31,900
it's like I'm not. 
Care of myself. 

1068
00:54:32,100 --> 00:54:35,900
So the data showed me that but 
then the personal comments like 

1069
00:54:35,900 --> 00:54:38,800
really, I'm like, man, I must be
doing it really. 

1070
00:54:39,100 --> 00:54:43,500
So my point is, we're not self 
aware of it or very often we 

1071
00:54:43,500 --> 00:54:48,700
ignore it, but your first 
customer your first client, your

1072
00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:53,300
first Kochi is you, and are you 
taking care of you? 

1073
00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:57,100
My observation is both. 
Leaders are doing terrible job 

1074
00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:58,600
me. 
Included of taking care of 

1075
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,900
themselves, because they feel 
like, Their job is to take care 

1076
00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:05,800
of others, but in order to do 
that, it's the oxygen masks that

1077
00:55:05,800 --> 00:55:09,100
a, for a room with Bay before 
you put on the oxygen mask of 

1078
00:55:09,100 --> 00:55:11,000
other people, you have to put it
on yourself. 

1079
00:55:11,300 --> 00:55:14,100
So self care, first. 
And that's my three. 

1080
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,800
Wow. 
That's like a perfect. 

1081
00:55:16,800 --> 00:55:20,200
Way to wrap up our conversation 
because we've been talking about

1082
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:23,100
coaching many people assume 
Cochise about you helping other 

1083
00:55:23,100 --> 00:55:25,000
people, you listening other 
people. 

1084
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:27,300
But you mention something really
important that. 

1085
00:55:27,300 --> 00:55:30,300
The first customer the first 
person that you should coach is 

1086
00:55:30,300 --> 00:55:32,800
actually South so self. 
Get, please take care of 

1087
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,900
yourself, don't burn out. 
Sometimes, we are in this mode 

1088
00:55:35,900 --> 00:55:37,100
and we are not self-aware, 
right? 

1089
00:55:37,100 --> 00:55:40,000
Sometimes we need people to also
trigger us a, maybe you should 

1090
00:55:40,000 --> 00:55:42,300
take care about yourself. 
So again, thank you so much. 

1091
00:55:42,300 --> 00:55:45,400
Bob for reminding us all these 
important advice. 

1092
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,600
So for people who love to 
continue their conversation with

1093
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:51,500
you, or maybe buy your books or 
Consulting, any place, where 

1094
00:55:51,500 --> 00:55:53,900
they can find you online book, 
the best place. 

1095
00:55:53,900 --> 00:55:57,600
One place is agile moose so I 
have a little moniker called 

1096
00:55:57,600 --> 00:56:01,200
agile. 
Hyphen moose MOS seedot Cam. 

1097
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,100
That's a nice landing, place to 
find out more about me. 

1098
00:56:04,900 --> 00:56:07,300
Thanks for sharing that again. 
Thank you so much Bob for this 

1099
00:56:07,300 --> 00:56:09,900
powerful master class. 
I would say, and really thank 

1100
00:56:09,900 --> 00:56:12,000
you and appreciate for that. 
Thank you, Henry. 

1101
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:17,000
I appreciate it. 
Thank you for listening to this 

1102
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,300
episode and for staying, right 
until the end if you highly 

1103
00:56:20,300 --> 00:56:22,700
enjoyed it. 
I would appreciate if you share 

1104
00:56:22,700 --> 00:56:25,100
it with your friends and 
colleagues who you think would 

1105
00:56:25,100 --> 00:56:27,500
also benefit from listening to 
this episode. 

1106
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:30,500
And if you are new to the 
podcast, make sure to subscribe 

1107
00:56:30,500 --> 00:56:33,000
and leave me your valuable 
review and feedback. 

1108
00:56:33,300 --> 00:56:36,200
It helps me a lot in order to 
grow this podcast better. 

1109
00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:39,500
You can also find the full show 
notes of this conversation on 

1110
00:56:39,500 --> 00:56:42,700
the episode page at tekhelet 
Journal, dot death website, 

1111
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:46,400
including the full transcript 
into resting quartz and links to

1112
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,900
the resources mention from the 
conversation. 

1113
00:56:49,300 --> 00:56:52,300
And lastly, make sure to 
subscribe to the show's mailing 

1114
00:56:52,300 --> 00:56:55,700
list on pack leader. 
No dot f to get notified for any

1115
00:56:55,700 --> 00:56:58,400
future episodes. 
Stay tuned for the next 

1116
00:56:58,400 --> 00:56:59,800
technology. 
No episode. 

1117
00:57:00,100 --> 00:57:01,700
And until then goodbye.
