1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,640 So the the friends, because I've been on a little bit of a crash 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,720 out right now. So they came over because they 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:09,280 call me every day and they're like, hey, how are you? 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,360 I'm like, not well, I'm in a crash out. 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,040 Right. Terrible. 6 00:00:12,040 --> 00:00:16,239 Should I come over? No, no, leave me to my devices, 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,680 right? And so today I think they just 8 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,840 had enough. And there's a I guess as 9 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:25,480 lesbians do, there was a lesbian clothing swap around the corner 10 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,760 from my house, yes. Of course, but thanks my 11 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,800 sister's house. Yeah, and so there were like 12 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:36,840 just 8 lesbians that stormed my house and I was not informed of 13 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,040 this, that they were coming over. 14 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:43,360 I was having a tequila shot at the time by myself. 15 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,600 That's right, you know, you need people to show up. 16 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,320 By myself. And they were like, hey, we're 17 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,000 here. I was like, get out. 18 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,560 I was like, you're not supposed to. 19 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,200 Be here to hide the evidence you're not. 20 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,960 No, no, I'm not like that. I'm absolutely going to tell you 21 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,440 the truth. I am flaps out. 22 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:03,040 That's how I am. You guys know like and they came 23 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:05,880 over and I was like, I was just about to have a tequila shot. 24 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,280 You shouldn't be here. This is for me. 25 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,880 And then they were like, yeah, we'll have one with you. 26 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,440 That's friendship, that's girlhood, that's. 27 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,960 It is, yeah. So we all had tequila shots. 28 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,600 I wonder they came back drunk. I was like what are these 29 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,840 fuckers doing? They all stormed the into. 30 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:24,560 My place in a crash out. It's not going to be. 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,680 I don't want to. Go next time invite me first of 32 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,120 all. But they came in and they were 33 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,680 like, yeah, this all makes sense now. 34 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,000 Thank you for clearing it up. Yeah, so that's how this episode 35 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,080 is starting. Yes, it's going to be great. 36 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,520 Yeah. Welcome you guys to Wrong Sauce 37 00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:52,120 today. OK, ready. 38 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:53,480 We're going to, we're going to dial in. 39 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,800 All right, dial in, dial in, lock in back. 40 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,720 In I haven't been so good at the intros lately, but I really want 41 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,520 to get back into my. I feel. 42 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,840 You're my joy. Yeah. 43 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:07,200 Come on, Queen. OK everybody welcome the most 44 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:14,160 amazing, epic and talented musician we have today, Rachel 45 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,960 Bulkner. If you guys haven't heard the 46 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,800 musical stylings of this sweet goddess, you need to get in 47 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:27,000 tune. Get in the know, get inside her 48 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,440 mind and her vocal stylings. Everybody please welcome Rachel 49 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,640 Bochner to the program. Wrong sauce. 50 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:35,680 Thank. You so much for having me. 51 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,880 I don't know that anyone needs to get inside of my mind. 52 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,400 That's a little bit of a scary place. 53 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:47,000 We plan on it, OK. We plan on diving deep into your 54 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,720 mind because you write about these things. 55 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:55,000 You write about situation ships. As one does lover girl. 56 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,720 Moments. Mental Health. 57 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,800 That's the mind we're used to, and we would like to understand 58 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:01,920 how yours work specifically. Oh wow, yeah. 59 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,240 You just are coming off of a tour. 60 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:06,280 You're here because you're doing a tour, yes. 61 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,840 So my number one question only because you live the life that 62 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,920 I'm sure millions want to live. You're a touring musician. 63 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,240 Do you get brassieres sent to you? 64 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,640 Do you get DMS? Like what is the life of a 65 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:27,800 touring lesbian musician that is open for business? 66 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,520 If you are, I don't know I. Am not but. 67 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,440 OK, but. To enter. 68 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:39,280 Another one bites the dust. But it's definitely a lot of 69 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,360 fun. I love, I love being on tour. 70 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,920 I have toured a lot, like as support for artists. 71 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:48,040 So I feel like who I'm opening for will often like dictate the 72 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:52,680 overall like vibe. Last summer I was opening for 73 00:03:52,920 --> 00:03:56,840 this artist who's also my friend named Dick Zanna, and she's also 74 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,600 a queer pop artist. Did she do Dinah? 75 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,800 This year, yeah, she did. I thought maybe you wanted to 76 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,480 have sex with her. That's where I only. 77 00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,440 Got to. Yeah, probably. 78 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:06,800 OK, sorry. Wouldn't be surprised. 79 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,440 But like 2 queer artists, you know, the vibe of that tour was 80 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,920 very fair. Horny and horny, Yeah. 81 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:16,680 It was horny. Yeah, and like that show, I 82 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,880 definitely had like a bra thrown at me, which was, you know, 83 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,880 every I think that's every girl's dream is to have a bra 84 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,160 thrown at her. Did you frame it? 85 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,080 No, but I should have. I should have. 86 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:32,440 I'm like very tight B so I probably lost it but so if you 87 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,720 threw me that bra, I'm so sorry. Throw me another one and I will 88 00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,120 keep it this time. Beautiful, but. 89 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,040 Single at that time. No. 90 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,960 No. But it's all in good fun. 91 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:48,280 I feel like, yeah, I don't know. I think it's, it's not like it's 92 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,840 not so serious. It feels like girls and and 93 00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:55,520 lesbians like having fun and and expressing themselves and it 94 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:58,320 doesn't necessarily feel like an actual like proposition, you 95 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,120 know? Until it does, it's just silly 96 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,760 platonic fun for you and I. I did flash Youngblood at his 97 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,600 tour in LA and it went super viral. 98 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:11,040 Then it started a flashing like epidemic. 99 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,520 Everyone after that video went viral, everyone during the 100 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,880 specific song of people going on, people's shoulders flashed 101 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,120 Youngblood. And so it became like a whole 102 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:18,080 thing. And I was like, I think I 103 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,560 started a revolution. Yeah, whatever you are. 104 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,400 Yeah, you're an innovator. Thank you, exactly, that's how I 105 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,560 felt and I'm sure that's how the woman that sent you her pursuit. 106 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,400 I also felt yes, no for sure. But yeah, I don't know. 107 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,920 It's it's like I haven't had too many crazy things happen yet, 108 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,200 but hopefully that changes because I feel like the crazier 109 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,760 things that happen to you, it's like directly correlates like 110 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,440 how big you are and, and like how big of a deal I guess people 111 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,040 think you are. So hopefully the next time we 112 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:49,840 talk, I'll be like, I have, you know, the girls are lining up. 113 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:57,200 How do you navigate that type of frothing for you when you what 114 00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,040 what? I love you so much. 115 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,680 Frothing. It's a visceral word, but it's 116 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:06,080 a. Very, I'm very like, you have to 117 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:10,360 paint a picture, you know, And so I picture like the actual 118 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:15,560 froth coming out of ladies mouths for you because there's 119 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,960 an aura when somebody goes up and they're actually talented, 120 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,240 which you are, and does their thing on stage. 121 00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:26,160 You can be overcome with just this gravitational pull towards 122 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,720 somebody. So I imagine that your fans have 123 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:33,920 this and so how do you navigate that type of frothing for you 124 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:40,560 when you have a partner? Delicately because you never 125 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,320 want, you never want to like cross any boundaries. 126 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,920 First of all, OK, actually, I'll tell a story. 127 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:50,640 So I, I've had like 2 moments on the Internet that feel like 128 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:54,080 hopefully as close to like being cancelled as I'll ever get. 129 00:06:54,800 --> 00:07:00,600 But the, the one that I'll talk about first was this video that 130 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:07,520 I posted from a show last summer where my partner was there and 131 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:11,040 we were like, wait, wouldn't it be so funny if like you came up 132 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,960 to the front of the audience and like at the end of one of the 133 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,440 songs, I was like, are we going to kiss? 134 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,240 And then like, we made out, you know, it was pride month. 135 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,280 It's a bunch of lesbians at the show. 136 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,480 It was like, they're going to eat that up. 137 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,520 They're going to love it. So we did that and it was really 138 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:28,200 cute and and everybody like it was just like fun. 139 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,640 And then I posted a video of it and it went like super viral on 140 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:37,480 Instagram and TikTok, but most of of like the the negative shit 141 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,680 was on Instagram and. As it tends to be. 142 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:42,680 Yeah, people on reels are out of control. 143 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:47,800 So comments are crazy in a way that's like, very creative. 144 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:49,400 Like, it's impressive. Like, wow. 145 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:54,080 So it was my partner who was, you know, around my age and, and 146 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,720 literally consented to this, this kiss and whatever. 147 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,640 But people were like, that was a 14 year old boy. 148 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:04,080 And I was like, first of all, why would a why would a boy be 149 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,480 there? Second of all, no. 150 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,640 So that was kind of crazy. But then also, like, people will 151 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,320 comment sometimes, like if I come to the front row of your 152 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,000 show, like, will you kiss me now? 153 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,960 And I'm like, no babe, but you should still count. 154 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:23,040 I only say I'll fuck a fan. I'm sorry I am literally dating 155 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,360 my. Girlfriend and she watched the 156 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,160 show that I was on. She was a fan. 157 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:28,640 Beautiful. I'm fucking a fan. 158 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,200 I'm currently doing it. I'm going to marry her. 159 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:34,600 Too 2 consenting adults, but I love that shit. 160 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,880 It really drives me because the in cells that are in the 161 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,400 comments really do drive engagement and I love it. 162 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,880 We have a current clip that is saying that men don't deserve 163 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,000 rights and they belong in jail to start off with. 164 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,400 That's going wild on the Internet right now. 165 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,400 Oh my God. And the men in cells are just 166 00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:55,640 oh, it's outrageous. But like, these are the things 167 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,480 that really push these clips. Clips are these individuals that 168 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,240 are angered by you making out with your 14 year old boy, 169 00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,000 right? That is wild though. 170 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,720 What was the other one? Yeah. 171 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:15,920 God, I mean, the other one was kind of an example of like just 172 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,560 homophobia, like and people being, you know, nasty. 173 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:24,160 But I did a cover of a Taylor Swift song, Guilty as Sin. 174 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,000 That's OK. And I know, I know, I know. 175 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:32,600 But I, I love that song. And it's like, as a queer person 176 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,760 listening to that song, like for me, it hit so much harder if I 177 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,120 was like looking at it through a queer lens. 178 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,440 And so at like a random show, I just did a cover of it and I 179 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:47,080 changed the pronouns and posted it on Twitter and was just like 180 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:49,280 being like silly goofy about it because it was like, I did that 181 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,520 for me and for the people who were at that one show. 182 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:57,400 And then it just snowballed into into like the, the Swifties 183 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:02,600 versus the Gaylors versus the people who like are just like, 184 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:04,480 girl, this was a this was a cover. 185 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:09,040 This didn't, this was not like anything deeper than a queer 186 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,000 artist, like making a song queer, you know? 187 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,800 So if you want some entertainment, you can go look 188 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,920 at that original video and look at the quote retweets and you'll 189 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,640 see some wild things. Everyone go look. 190 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:28,200 Everyone go look and how do you react to these types of comments 191 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,000 that are like left on your post? Are you affected? 192 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,160 Do you care? Do you not care? 193 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,240 Are you like this is great, you care? 194 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,720 I care embarrassing an embarrassing amount. 195 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,320 And it's like I try to pretend I don't, but I I really do. 196 00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,640 I get fired up. I don't know. 197 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:45,440 I'm I'm a defense that's. Fair, No, I mean I think I care 198 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,360 a lot about, you know, like the music that I'm making. 199 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:54,200 And so I guess by extension like my like persona that is on, I 200 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,040 don't know, like the public facing persona. 201 00:10:56,040 --> 00:11:00,480 So I, I never want to like be misunderstood as like saying or 202 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:04,720 doing something that is like offensive or whatever, but not 203 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,760 that I'm that's happening. But I don't know. 204 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:10,280 I think that I'm, I'm less bothered by those comments 205 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,640 because I know that they're just like fueled by, by like 206 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,640 ignorance and, and people just having way too much time on 207 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:18,400 their hands on the Internet. Also, I'm a middle child and I 208 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:21,520 have four sisters so I feel like I'm immune to like getting my 209 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,280 feelings hurt in a lot of ways. Probably. 210 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,920 Oh yeah, I can't imagine that's a. 211 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,480 Lot of sisters. It's a lot of sisters and I love 212 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,920 my sister so much, but growing up, yeah, it was like it was a 213 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,120 war zone for sure. A lot of like psychological 214 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,600 warfare that goes on in. In a sister. 215 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:43,800 Nothing like growing up with psychological terrorists. 216 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,200 Yeah. Women right in a household. 217 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,200 Yeah, and you're all in your period on the same time. 218 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,920 Oh. My God, lesbian relationships 219 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:55,200 too. Your sisters only because I know 220 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,760 her family history so and and it's interesting because she 221 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,120 grew up around all gays, I would say. 222 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,400 Yeah, both my sisters are lesbians. 223 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,160 Okay? Yes, as well as myself. 224 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,360 That's so beautiful. Were your sister's psychological 225 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,960 warfare? My sisters are different than 226 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,480 the average people. That's the thing. 227 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,960 They're sweet people. Lauren's autistic and absolutely 228 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,480 wonderful and kind and the other one and Lily's just a different 229 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,320 kind of person. She's literally amazing. 230 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,960 There's nothing wrong with OK. She would never be me. 231 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,240 Grew up around psychology. I was. 232 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:24,360 The only one that was psychologically terrorizing it. 233 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,800 OK, so you were the OK. I was the one with scream 234 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,160 singing and then my sister being like mommy, like she's singing 235 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,520 too loud. I'm like, I wasn't. 236 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,560 They're lying. See that is that feels my. 237 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,680 Wonderful. Oh, that was pretty much all I 238 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,160 did. Yeah. 239 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,520 No, we were pretty amazing, yeah. 240 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,400 That sounds lovely. I'm just empathizing, yeah. 241 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,360 When you grow up around women that are out there to, like, 242 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,480 psychologically destroy your life and, you know, familial in 243 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,680 a familial sense, yeah. Yeah, in a way that you love 244 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,320 each other now, kind of. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're fine. 245 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,960 Your family and like, whatever. But like, more like, I'll take 246 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:55,920 you down, bitch. Yeah. 247 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,840 Like I'll ruin your life in a way that I love you. 248 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,080 Kind of. Yeah, exactly. 249 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,480 Yeah, exactly. Where are you in this? 250 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:03,840 Where? I'm the dead middle. 251 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,040 So I have two older sisters, 2 younger sisters. 252 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:11,040 So so yeah, I mean, I was both like traumatized and the 253 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,080 traumatizer. OK, we learned from our abusers. 254 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:18,200 Yeah. Yeah, we got to break the cycle, 255 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:19,320 of course. Are any of them gay? 256 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:23,240 One of my sisters is queer, so we're 2 for five. 257 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,400 Oh, that's good. So it's not bad. 258 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,680 Yeah. And she actually came out before 259 00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:29,240 me. I came out like late. 260 00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:31,240 Well, late. I guess it's all relative. 261 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:34,040 What's late for you? For me, I was 23 when I realized 262 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:37,000 that I was not straight. But then it was like kind of a 263 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:42,160 long process of like the straight to bisexual to lesbian 264 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,880 pipeline. Were you pre or post lick when 265 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,240 you knew? So I call it pre or post lick. 266 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:53,040 Like did you know before you licked A muff or after you 267 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,880 licked a muff? That was really beautifully put. 268 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:59,480 Thank you so much. You are very descriptive and and 269 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:00,640 yeah, I appreciate that creative. 270 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:03,480 Visual. Yeah, I mean as as a songwriter, 271 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:07,480 I really, I, I love that pre. Pre lick? 272 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,920 Yeah, Pre lick. So when I realized that I was 273 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,800 not straight, it was like COVID. So there was nothing to be done 274 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,560 other than sit with your thoughts and like and think and 275 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:23,240 and spiral and be like wait, I'm 23 years old and I am like, not 276 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,400 straight. Would you fantasize about it? 277 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:30,320 So what I think was really confusing for me is that like, I 278 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:34,840 look back on, you know, like middle school, like early high 279 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,000 school where I feel like a lot of people have those like 280 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:41,160 classic moments where you're like the homoerotic friendship 281 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,720 that, you know, like ended up in some explosive fight or 282 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,080 whatever. And I didn't really have any of 283 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:51,720 that, like, I don't know, those like telltale signs. 284 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,440 So I, it really like hit me like a truck and it was like kind of 285 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,440 a switch, honestly. Like the thought like popped 286 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,240 into my head and then I was like, Oh my God, what? 287 00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:03,640 Was the thought. You don't have to answer, but 288 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,240 I'd love to know. It wasn't really like a a 289 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,880 specific like thought it was honestly the TikTok algorithm 290 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,640 kind of got me. It pushes, yeah. 291 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,680 What was coming up on your algorithm? 292 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,880 Was it like? I feel like it was I just. 293 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,240 Found out about Lundy. I had no idea who this really 294 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,640 is. Yes, I think it was. 295 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,320 I mean I was just like suddenly getting more and more, not even 296 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:30,480 like videos about like being gay. 297 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:33,640 It was just like women. Fems or masks? 298 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,960 Both. What is your type by the way? 299 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,320 Yes, good question, Jenna. I love this. 300 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,280 We love this question. So I mean okay, me or tippy. 301 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,680 Well, okay, so I think. There might be a middle. 302 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:49,200 Because I could present they them. 303 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,480 You seem they them honey. I mean historically I feel like 304 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,680 it's it's just like vibe based mostly but. 305 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,920 Everyone has faith. Then let's say the truth here. 306 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:03,320 Then I I went on one date with are they them Butch lesbian? 307 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,640 I was smitten and I'm yeah. I love that. 308 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:07,400 Yeah. What? 309 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:12,640 Was it about the day that just really tickled your loins? 310 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:16,560 I OK so first of all, it was the best first date of my life and 311 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,720 it was just like such a beautiful magical evening and it 312 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,400 was so gay it was like crazy how? 313 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,840 Long was it? It was not that long. 314 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:30,240 It was no, it was, it was not like that, but it was OK. 315 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,160 So we started off. We met at a lesbian bar in 316 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,520 Brooklyn called Mary's that has since closed, which is so sad, 317 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:40,920 and had like the strongest gin and tonics you could possibly 318 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,400 ever imagine. So strong start. 319 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,560 And then I kissed him at the bar. 320 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:48,800 Obviously couldn't wait. Who dove first? 321 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,920 Me. How are you feeling? 322 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,400 It was ready. I mean you. 323 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,360 Were. You were feeling like a very. 324 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:55,880 We're the same kind of. Yeah. 325 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,960 I can feel the energy over here, like tingling. 326 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,640 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm literally buzzing 327 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,200 talking about it. Yeah. 328 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:07,280 But yeah. So then we went to the Aces show 329 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:12,400 at Brooklyn Steel and just, like, danced our little hearts 330 00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:14,960 out. And then we like walked out of 331 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:19,280 the venue and they were, they always make fun of me about this 332 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,560 because they were like the sentence that was coming out of 333 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:26,040 their mouth was like, do you want to like meet my cat? 334 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:29,360 Because they have this like sweet baby Angel cat named 335 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,960 Junie. They hit you with the pussy. 336 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,600 Right, which is going to get you every single time and every 337 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:36,640 single time. So yeah, so they make fun of me 338 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,480 because like I thought that I let them like say their whole 339 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,120 sentence and like ask me if I wanted to like come over, but 340 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,960 apparently I like 2 words into that. 341 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,600 I already knew what they were asking and I was like, yes I 342 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,720 will. I want to stroke. 343 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,640 ADHD. I will. 344 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,120 I will be coming over. And then yeah. 345 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,640 And then I went over and the rest is history. 346 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,360 Oh, wait, are you guys together now? 347 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:01,720 Yeah. Wait, so why did you write? 348 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,160 Why did you just write this amazing, incredible breakup song 349 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,320 then? Wait, was it a breakup song? 350 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,880 Well, OK, of your Manhattan, yes, Yeah. 351 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:13,280 Well so I put out this EP Lover girl that I basically shout out 352 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,560 lover. Girl go check it out, you guys 353 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:15,720 love it. Incredible. 354 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:21,480 And I, I wrote that project kind of over this like year and a 355 00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:27,320 half like era of my life where I was like finally, like, you 356 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,960 know, living my life as a queer person and like finally dating 357 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,800 non men and like figuring all of that out. 358 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,560 So that was like a really transformative and at times 359 00:18:36,560 --> 00:18:40,880 traumatizing like period of my life, but. 360 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,920 Can we talk about that? Yeah, let's do it. 361 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,680 I. Want to get in there? 362 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,920 Sure, let's talk about the trauma. 363 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,640 Everyone has, you know, a story of like, being traumatized by, 364 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:54,040 like, you know, some sexy, sexy lesbian hot envy who ruins your 365 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:54,840 life. Like whatever. 366 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,600 Sexy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 367 00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:59,480 I've heard it's kind of like sexy masks that are ruining 368 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,280 lives. Terror strikes both ways it. 369 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,480 Certainly does. It strikes. 370 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,800 Always humans are terrorists. All of them except for we're. 371 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:08,520 Human, and hopefully you get better as it goes by. 372 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,560 Yeah, and humans are humans. And if you don't, I pray for 373 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,120 you. Yeah, well, I think for me, like 374 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,280 coming out like later, I you really do kind of go through 375 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:24,400 like a second puberty and like you're, you're having to learn 376 00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,720 how to navigate like relationships kind of from 377 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,360 scratch. Like I was in a relationship 378 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,440 with a man for a very long time. And so I feel like I, I thought 379 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:36,640 that I, I was so like emotionally mature and like 380 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,160 really knew how to like navigate conflict and whatever. 381 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,160 But then once I kind of had my reckoning with my sexuality and 382 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:47,480 I and I was like in queer like situation ships or what, or 383 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:50,520 whatever, like it was, I was like, oh, I have no idea what 384 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,000 the fuck I'm doing. And I'm like causing at like 385 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,880 carnage. And yeah, so sometimes you are 386 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,040 like you, you accidentally are like the traumatizer. 387 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,000 And it's a reawakening. I do believe that it's 388 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,320 interesting the point that you're bringing up because it 389 00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,000 does happen again. No matter what life you live, 390 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,640 before you like step into your queer dreams or you know your 391 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,440 queer life, you do have to go through the process of like 392 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:22,560 relearning once you come out and a whole nother life ensues. 393 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,400 I. Also feel like with men, I mean, 394 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,360 if you're in a relationship with a man, you're always going to be 395 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:29,160 more emotionally mature than him because he is man. 396 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,560 This is man specifically. But like, it's, it's like it's, 397 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:34,760 it's easy doing that kind of work as a cakewalk, being like, 398 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,720 oh, we're in a relationship. I'm going to take the toll of 399 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,440 the emotional effort here. I'm going to make things OK 400 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,640 because I'm the woman. I got this. 401 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,480 But like, when you're in a relationship with another woman 402 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:47,320 who's just as, like, emotionally intelligent in a way as you are, 403 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:49,520 and you're on this, like, equal playing field, and you're like, 404 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,760 well, I felt this way. And everyone knows therapy words 405 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,040 now. Yeah, all the people know the 406 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,280 therapy words. And some people don't realize 407 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:57,520 they're very manipulative in their therapy words. 408 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,000 So it's like, it's not as easy as a thing. 409 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,760 Because this is an epidemic, actually. 410 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,160 The connection is like most beautiful thing in the world. 411 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,440 You're like we're on the same wavelength. 412 00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,720 We're literally soul connected. Like there's nothing like this. 413 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,160 Our sex is absolutely insane and then you're like but also we 414 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:14,560 fight for like 7 hours when we fight because we're like. 415 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,720 Pretty higher, yeah. Also, I think I agree and your. 416 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,840 Your expectations are higher, almost. 417 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,200 I feel like the expectations are higher when you engage in a 418 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,160 relationship with a woman because you expect them to be 419 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,200 better and then they are. What's up? 420 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,400 They are, but you have but it's like a different. 421 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:35,200 Level Actually, the unfortunate truth is some are not Yeah. 422 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,080 And I think that you have to come to grips with that like 423 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:44,080 some are 100% and they are the most angelic creatures to ever 424 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:48,240 walk the earth. And it is why I think life is 425 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,760 like. Worth living? 426 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,080 Literally, it is why life is is worth living. 427 00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:58,480 But then you meet like strange creatures, golems of the of the 428 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:02,920 wild lagoon, and you wonder like precious. 429 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:04,920 Yeah, you wonder like why? Did I do that? 430 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,680 Like why? I don't know this. 431 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:12,280 It's a very what do you call it? Like it's a double edged sword. 432 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,280 67. Yeah, 67. 433 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,360 This is a double. Yeah, no 6-7 double. 67. 434 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,080 It's worth it, but it hurts. Yeah, I mean, hopefully you get 435 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,960 to like the promised land it seems like you have. 436 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,600 Yeah. It's just, I think there's like 437 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,160 collateral damage sometimes, like when you're figuring your 438 00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,640 shit out and like whether that's in the form of just like 439 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:37,120 botching, like your first kind of queer relationships or, or 440 00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:40,600 you know what happens when you realize that you are not 441 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:44,000 straight and you're dating a man, then you have to deal with 442 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,600 that and figure that out. I feel like baby gays get at 443 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,120 least a three-year grace period or at least 2 1/2. 444 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:52,240 What do you think? I think you get grace in your 445 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,920 20s. I think if you, like, move into 446 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:59,440 your 30s and you continue to do fuck shit, there's a little bit 447 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,480 of like soul searching that you need to do, like go to therapy. 448 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,000 Yeah. I mean, not listen, healing is 449 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,640 never linear. Healing is never linear. 450 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:16,040 And sometimes we do step out of ourselves, elapse. 451 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,960 Yeah. Like I used to be very. 452 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:24,080 I wouldn't say very, but I used to like have some toxic things 453 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:31,720 that I did in my 20s that if you push me, I can get there. 454 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:36,200 I try not to. It's a familiar home that I work 455 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:42,960 so hard to try not to get to. But like, in this lesbian 456 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:49,320 hellscape, like. But usually I choose right. 457 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,720 Yeah, usually I do. Like I'm not vengeful or 458 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,520 vindictive. She's not, as I believe you. 459 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,080 Like she is, she's actually quite lovely. 460 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:59,000 And that's the thing, it ruins so many people's lives. 461 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,880 And I choose not to. I always like, fantasize. 462 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:05,640 That's the thing. I fantasize about causing like 463 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,800 the most havoc. And in the end, I just don't 464 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,120 have the heart to do it. I think that's why being like a 465 00:24:12,120 --> 00:24:17,240 creative is so like good because you have you have an outlet for 466 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:18,920 that. So yeah, I think maybe that's 467 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:24,920 why I haven't caused as much like actual like traumatization 468 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:28,560 because I can just like write a song about it and like get it 469 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,960 out there. And then like maybe in the back 470 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,480 of my mind, I'm like hoping that like whoever it's about like 471 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,760 will hear it and like feel a type of way. 472 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:39,160 But there's a difference between traumatizing somebody and 473 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,280 seeking vengeance. That's true like. 474 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:44,800 And let's be really clear, like, I'm not out here to traumatize 475 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,080 anybody, right? I'm just here fantasizing about 476 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:48,840 vengeance. Just. 477 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,840 Like, like hoping for the petty but not the performing, said 478 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:52,600 Petty. Right. 479 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,320 No, I always, I always make the right decision, but I often 480 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,720 wonder I'm like, what time is going to be the time that I 481 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,760 choose? To break absolute. 482 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:05,080 Like that, I just break, yeah. You never know, babes these. 483 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,400 What are some of the things, things that you have done in 484 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:13,560 this community that per SE, you are not proud of, that you look 485 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:19,040 back and you're like, that wasn't a shining muffin looking 486 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:22,760 at me like this because you've done fucked up shit. 487 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:24,880 Okay, once or four times, it's fine. 488 00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,600 We are all human. No, of course. 489 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,160 But that's right, girls, because you could like, talk about 490 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,480 things that you're not proud of and you're like, oh, that wasn't 491 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,600 a shining moment. I've reflected. 492 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,720 I've done better. And like now, I am, you know, a 493 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,120 different individual. Yeah, well, OK, so I'm an 494 00:25:42,120 --> 00:25:46,040 Aquarius Sun and Moon and and Venus. 495 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,960 So there's like a what? There's a lot. 496 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,400 What's. Your big three. 497 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:54,760 Aquarius, Sun, Moon and Aries. Rising I'm an Aries sun love but 498 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,240 also scary. Yeah, I don't know. 499 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,360 What any of this means? But you're like Aquarius. 500 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,280 Aquarius, Aries. Yeah, so, so I think like. 501 00:26:01,360 --> 00:26:03,160 I just met an Aries. She's a fun time. 502 00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:06,600 Yeah, it's a it's fire. I've been really digging Aries 503 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,440 lately, thank. You. 504 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,760 My 10 year relationship that I tied up to the radiator you. 505 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,160 Were saying. This is not the first time I've 506 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:16,360 heard you say this sentence. She was in Aries. 507 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,280 Wow, well the heat fire radiator it. 508 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,280 Was a love affair for the ages. It was a love affair for the 509 00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:24,520 ages. Connection. 510 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,280 She felt at home with the fire. Yeah, they mean wait. 511 00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,120 So. I think because there's like so 512 00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:34,800 much Aquarius in my chart. Like I did not realize and 513 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:39,880 honestly until I like got out of that long term relationship and 514 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,600 started dating non men that like I am like textbook avoidant. 515 00:26:43,960 --> 00:26:48,000 And so I think yeah, I think just because of that, like I 516 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:49,360 just the. One that comes on here is an 517 00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:53,000 avoidant. It's for me, anxious, anxious 518 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,320 Mama. Yeah, yeah. 519 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:58,000 I just didn't really realize that I am very avoidant and I'm 520 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:02,680 very like uncomfortable with confronting people when I feel 521 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,120 like I'm going to hurt their feelings. 522 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:10,160 And so I like try really, really hard to like dance around like 523 00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:15,320 uncomfortable topics, like ending a situation, ship or 524 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,200 whatever it is, like concretely because I like, I just am 525 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,160 uncomfortable and I like feel bad about hurting someone's 526 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,680 feelings. And then I learned that, like 527 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:28,840 when you're not explicit about certain things, then things get 528 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,440 lost in translation. And then you thought. 529 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,520 Things like what? Like ending like breaking up 530 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,720 with someone, like we're not seeing each other anymore. 531 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,160 And then you think that you have like communicated that and then 532 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,200 you haven't. And then you have to break up 533 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,760 with them like again. Can I can I ask, can I ask a 534 00:27:44,760 --> 00:27:46,960 question? Have you ended a situation ship 535 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,760 and then called them about one or two weeks later to get sex 536 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,640 later? No, I have not. 537 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,600 Wow. Have you China? 538 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,800 Well, I you know what's funny? I don't actually end up in 539 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:05,440 situationships very often. Situation chips very often. 540 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:07,440 Yeah. I'm either like, we go on a date 541 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:09,760 and we forget about it, or we're in a relationship for two years. 542 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:10,920 Yeah. Well, this is another thing 543 00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:14,120 about like I think Aquarius is like once something is done for 544 00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:18,760 you, like it's done and like like once the feeling changes or 545 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,240 you're kind of over something, then it's like a switch is 546 00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:23,080 slipped, which is like kind of scary it's. 547 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,160 Psychotic. Yeah, Yeah. 548 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,800 No, it's extremely scary. I would never want to date me. 549 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:30,440 So you say that. Yeah. 550 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,640 What do you think are your red flags? 551 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:35,680 Of all of the Aquarius in my chart. 552 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,840 OK, which means what? Because I know nothing about 553 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,360 this. Just like the, yeah, the 554 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,680 avoidant tendencies, I think like the way that I deal with my 555 00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:50,960 emotions sometimes is like, I don't and then then later it all 556 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:53,160 comes back up and you're like, holy shit. 557 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:56,880 This is like like 5 months of shit that you should have been 558 00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,800 like talking about much sooner. But I'm in therapy now, so we're 559 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:03,040 like working on it. It comes to five months later. 560 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,960 I mean, it'll come up. It'll come up a little, you know 561 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,640 it. It's like a ticking time bomb. 562 00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,400 It will come up at some point. So you're like, conflict 563 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,360 avoidant? Yeah, my girlfriend's conflict 564 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,520 avoidant too. Yeah. 565 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:17,680 She'll hold things in until she's like oops, I resent you 566 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:18,600 now. Right. 567 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:20,440 And then, yeah. And everyone's sobbing and it's 568 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,800 like, but then you get, you know, you get through it. 569 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:24,320 Hopefully you. Hug you kiss. 570 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:29,720 Yeah, but I would say that also huge red flag about me is that I 571 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,320 am a musician. I would never want to date a 572 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,760 musician. There are brassieres. 573 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:38,720 Being thrown if you could, yeah, at every city and if you wanted 574 00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:42,880 to mate with four different women, do you have the 575 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:47,280 opportunity to do that? Rephrase this question for me 576 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:51,960 when we're done. When you go to a new city as a 577 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:56,440 touring musician, do you have so many offers that if you wanted 578 00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,920 to stack four different women in a day before you get on stage 579 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:05,880 and have sweet love with them, would you be able to do that? 580 00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,040 Could you schedule 4? No, absolutely not. 581 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:13,440 One, because I am very, very much in love with my butt. 582 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:17,000 No, I'm saying, would you have the opportunity? 583 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:19,000 Oh. Honestly, honestly no. 584 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:25,240 Like I think I like historically have not Like I feel like I'm 585 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,760 not often like blatantly propositioned in this way. 586 00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:33,760 This is what I wonder, yeah. I do I'm like I don't know, I 587 00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,320 also get a lot that I like I'm intimidating and and that people 588 00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,280 think that I'm I'm like mean before they know me, which is 589 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,480 you're pretty, but like I don't. I don't think that I like look 590 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,160 mean, but apparently I have horrible resting bitch face. 591 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,680 Yeah, I don't know. Eyes you've got like I'm a bad 592 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,280 bitch look where people are afraid of you that's just people 593 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,440 are going to I. Really don't like this by the 594 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,800 way. I don't no, no, no, I love what 595 00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,600 you're saying, but I'm saying who cares? 596 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:03,360 Like if you're scared, but this whole like, you know, premise of 597 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:07,400 I'm scared so I won't approach. It's so beyond me. 598 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,920 Well, I. Also feel like masks or like if 599 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,120 if we're saying that that's more of our type, like I'm sorry but 600 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,600 fems have to talk to masks first all the time. 601 00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,640 And you should we have. To like, y'all won't come up to 602 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:20,080 us. Y'all don't come up to us 603 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,760 because one, we're hot and you're afraid of us, but also 604 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,480 just like sometimes you don't even think we're gay. 605 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,720 So you just don't even, you don't even like try. 606 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,200 We're usually going up to, you know. 607 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,240 Being gay. Only because I give the look. 608 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,720 I give the I'm gay look like I also wear the I'm gay jewelry. 609 00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:39,560 You walk into a space very clear you're fucking gay as hell have. 610 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,880 An eye proper thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 611 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:43,320 But yeah, I feel like I don't see the resting bitch face. 612 00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:44,960 But only because you're smiling at the moment. 613 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:48,720 I feel like you. I don't either, but you know, 614 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,800 everyone that people clock as intimidating or you're too scary 615 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:55,280 or this and that I always really get along with. 616 00:31:55,680 --> 00:32:00,000 I don't know what that says about me, but I'm not sheepish 617 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,920 about that. I'm like, oh, OK, I love your 618 00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,640 energy. There's a certain something that 619 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:08,320 gravitates me towards you. You know, I always say this 620 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:15,800 metaphor, some people just don't know how to drive and get behind 621 00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,160 the wheel of a Ferrari. Period. 622 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,800 I completely agree and I always say some people. 623 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:27,320 Just don't know like how to drive those vehicles and that's 624 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:32,720 OK. But those who are able to learn 625 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:37,400 the ways of a really great vehicle, then like take. 626 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,840 Me to F1. Exactly. 627 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:40,920 Take me to F1. We're. 628 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,400 On our way. Side note, I love your I love 629 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,440 your chains today, thank. You so much I wanted to be like 630 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,240 Batty today because I'm like I. Love the Playboy one doing Wait 631 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:53,320 OK on the topic of Playboy, I yes. 632 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:58,520 So I made a music video that my partner actually like. 633 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,080 We Co creative directed it and then they directed it, but it 634 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:05,000 was like a riff on Playboy and we made like play Butch. 635 00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:08,240 And then it was, it's a, the song is called Silver Rings. 636 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,480 And it was, it's basically just like me, like being like, 637 00:33:10,520 --> 00:33:12,440 butches are sexy. Oh my God, wait, I need to see 638 00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:15,280 this immediately. I need this yeah. 639 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:19,320 And so we we like made the the concept of of the video is 640 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:23,120 basically like I'm like, am I like little like lesbian, like 641 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:26,760 dream room and I'm looking, I'm reading playbook and then I'm 642 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,120 like having these fantasies about like the like centerfold. 643 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,760 Oh my God, yeah. Oh my God, I love it. 644 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:36,080 This is like my fantasy is to have a partner that's actually 645 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,960 supportive and collaborative. Like a creative direction. 646 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,520 Yeah, not like a hater. Having a partner that's not 647 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,280 supportive of you is like that's just like not going to work 648 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,160 ever. It's just not fair. 649 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,640 Also it doesn't make sense like why if you are with someone like 650 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:54,560 don't you want them to like be happy and succeed and like their 651 00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:56,760 joy should be your joy? Right. 652 00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,720 Such a big insecurity. Like, yeah. 653 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:00,040 Just like. The. 654 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:01,760 Insecurity. Afraid of me not being as good 655 00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:05,960 as you. Yeah, if my wife was fucking 656 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,639 Taylor Swift, I'd be like, let's go, baby. 657 00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:14,199 I don't care who's more successful, let's just both go 658 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:15,159 after it. For the yacht. 659 00:34:15,159 --> 00:34:16,840 Gets there first grade. Yeah. 660 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,320 I don't mind retiring, let's just be clear. 661 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,719 Yeah, if you get there first. If you retire me, wonderful, I 662 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:27,440 will have all of your babies. Literally, I will take care of 663 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,520 the home I will get. Baby Santa time. 664 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:33,600 Mask like. Wow, OK, that's so cool that you 665 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,760 did that. I love that you can collab with 666 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,440 your partner, it makes for such a strong like union. 667 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,719 Yeah, I think, I mean, it happened very organically. 668 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:48,560 So I think that that has made it feel just really like fulfilling 669 00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,159 when we do work on things together. 670 00:34:50,159 --> 00:34:53,239 And also we like have our brains are like opposite. 671 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,120 So like I can like take the wheel, I guess for certain 672 00:34:56,120 --> 00:35:00,000 things and then other things they will do like such a better 673 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,640 job of like organizing things and and like logistically 674 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:07,520 planning stuff. Yeah, I'm in type B grow, but 675 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:12,440 also like just we do different things like I'm obviously like a 676 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:16,640 a writer and a singer and I like have a lot of like big like 677 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:22,680 creative visions and then they are also an incredible writer, 678 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,480 like a poet by like. Oh, you fell in love with the 679 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:27,120 poet I. Know like how was I supposed to 680 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:29,360 not, you know? Watch you guys on TV for like a 681 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:30,920 week. I just want to know what this is 682 00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,320 like do. You guys like say sonnets to 683 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:37,600 each other at night, like while you're like staring into each 684 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:39,560 other's eyes. Wouldn't you love to know? 685 00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:41,240 Oh, OK. I would love to. 686 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,480 Know I would I mean yes, it's just like it's very like 687 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:51,520 complimentary the way that we work and so I feel like I don't 688 00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:56,920 know it's just I think that my like queerness also has made me 689 00:35:56,920 --> 00:36:00,920 just like a better writer and a better like creative person 690 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,800 because I feel like what I'm sharing just feels so much more 691 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,360 authentic and and visceral. We love the word visceral today. 692 00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,720 I love visceral and so then having someone who like the 693 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:14,960 chemistry is so great. Like just generally being able 694 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:19,840 to to like collaborate with it. It just like elevates it like so 695 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:21,480 much. Do you feel like you write 696 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:29,560 better in pain or in joy? Honestly, I think in in like 697 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:34,440 pain in times of of like really like emotional kind of like 698 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:40,480 turmoil or in like the really like giddy like early stages of 699 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,480 things. I feel like it's so easy to 700 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,360 write about that because it's like bubbling out of yeah, it's 701 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,760 literally you're like I. Lesbian crack. 702 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,920 Yeah, but wait. Wait, wait. 703 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,760 So, so how long have you guys been together then? 704 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,720 Because you can you still channel that giddiness. 705 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,680 Yeah, no, for sure. I just think like it's hard. 706 00:36:55,680 --> 00:37:00,400 I think it's like harder to to kind of nail like the nuances of 707 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,880 of a relationship that's like in a more stable place. 708 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:06,560 And also like no one even wants to like really hear about that. 709 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,560 Like everyone wants to hear about like the crashing out. 710 00:37:09,560 --> 00:37:13,400 Everyone wants to hear about like the horniness, you know, so 711 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,080 you can still channel that for sure. 712 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:16,800 And I guess that goes back to your question about your 713 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,600 Manhattan. Like I, I wrote that when I was, 714 00:37:19,960 --> 00:37:23,560 you know, stewing upon something that had happened in my past. 715 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,920 And like I had, I mean, OK, it's, it's always very 716 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,280 complicated, of course, but I think like that's. 717 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:37,560 So crazy. But with that song, I think like 718 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,760 in that particular situation, I felt like when I was in it, I 719 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:46,200 was like so obsessed with this girl and like, it was. 720 00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,800 In a picture envy Mass femme. Yeah. 721 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:50,920 OK. So it was a. 722 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,240 Femme in the York, yes, OK, yeah, yeah. 723 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,920 Yeah, the year was circa. Circa 2023. 724 00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,320 Great. OK, keep going. 725 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:00,560 So. I was just like really obsessed 726 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:06,160 with this girl and like I felt like once I kind of was out of 727 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,200 that situation, like looking back, I was like, I was like 728 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,640 down so bad. And then I don't know that I was 729 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,520 ever really like getting that energy back. 730 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,360 Like I think I was like bending over backwards to like to see 731 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:23,440 her to make plans. I was like literally also I was 732 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,720 like baby gay. So at this point, because I like 733 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,760 came out as queer, but I didn't actually like start dating non 734 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,360 men until like a couple years later. 735 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:35,720 So like I was just so enamored by like the just literally being 736 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:37,640 gay, like period. Like I was just so happy to be 737 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,120 there. There's. 738 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:42,520 Nothing more soul crushing when you're a baby gay to be like 739 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:46,760 having an unrequited like exchange. 740 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:51,720 Yeah, and I mean, like it was just like I, you know, looking 741 00:38:51,720 --> 00:38:57,400 back, like I feel like I, I knew way too much about like the 742 00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,560 other people that like she was seeing and like her like suitors 743 00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,280 and stuff because like she would talk about it. 744 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,480 She was a fuck femme. Was she a fuck femme or was she 745 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,960 just the opening community? I mean, we were, we were not 746 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:10,440 like in an exclusive thing. So like it wasn't like wrong in 747 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:12,560 any way. Fuck femme would be. 748 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:15,600 It may not have been exclusive, but it just depends what she 749 00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:17,040 says to you when you're in private. 750 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:20,840 Because it is. Fuck femme when you're having 751 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,880 relations with somebody and they're literally spinning the 752 00:39:23,880 --> 00:39:27,720 world to you like they're like Oh my God I see us was. 753 00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:28,480 It like that. Sure. 754 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,280 Like, was it love, Bommy, you know? 755 00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,720 It wasn't love, Bommy, it was a. Limerance for you. 756 00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,520 It was for sure limerance for me and. 757 00:39:35,720 --> 00:39:39,240 Can we define limerance? Because this is like a big topic 758 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,320 right now. Well, I think that's like 759 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,800 limerance is kind of when you have like your rose colored 760 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,400 glasses on and and you're like you're only seeing like the 761 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:50,560 shiny like beautiful things about someone and also kind of 762 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:57,000 like like putting some idea of this person like onto them that 763 00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,280 is maybe not actually like what is true. 764 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,200 And I think, yeah. Romanticization. 765 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:04,600 Yeah. Like. 766 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,720 Like they can do nothing wrong and the only thing that you're 767 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:09,400 focused on is to get them to like you. 768 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,200 Not even their personality. Like I honestly had limerds with 769 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:14,760 my Co worker that was a man I'm a little by oh. 770 00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,560 My God, I remember this Jason Gumbo or what was it? 771 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:18,880 What? Gary, his name is Gary. 772 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,800 OK sorry I had a limerds with him so bad and then when I got 773 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:26,000 with my girlfriend I was like. Yeah, Something like this. 774 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,360 The veil is lifted and you're like, oh, wait, actually. 775 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,240 Like I can point out like all these things that actually were 776 00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:33,560 making me feel like very bad. Yes. 777 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,880 And once I removed myself from the situation, then it seemed 778 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:39,520 like all of a sudden she, like, cared. 779 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:43,600 And it was like, I don't know if I don't know if you care that 780 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:48,680 that me, like I am no longer in the picture or that like, 781 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:53,120 there's not like I'm not taking up this like space of someone 782 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,000 who is giving you like all this attention anymore. 783 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:57,600 And I think that was what was like the hardest for her. 784 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,160 So I was like, I don't know that you like, really miss me. 785 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,160 You just miss that I was obsessed with you. 786 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:05,160 That totally makes sense. Yeah, it's a it's a hard 787 00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:07,880 realization to come to, but if you come to it like so that's 788 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:10,120 what. How long did it take for her to 789 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,720 circle back? Four days. 790 00:41:16,160 --> 00:41:17,960 I'm like trying to remember this timeline. 791 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:19,760 Sometimes it's months. That's true. 792 00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:26,560 Well, OK, remember I'm avoiding girl not very good at at at 793 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,760 communicating things at times. So like I thought that we had 794 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,120 kind of like ended things. And then it turns out that like 795 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,880 a couple months later, like she had a different take away from 796 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:40,280 that conversation and thought that it was like kind of like 797 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,480 tabled for a little bit, but it was definitely it wasn't like 798 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,240 days. It was like like a couple weeks 799 00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:48,480 at least. And then that's when I saw like 800 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,160 the emotional reaction and I was like, we haven't like hung out 801 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,280 in like months. Like I, how can you be upset 802 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:55,960 right now? But also like, I don't know. 803 00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,120 I, I think in, in that situation I was definitely like very much 804 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,880 also did things wrong. So it's like. 805 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:05,800 I love that accountability. I mean, with music you you like, 806 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:11,240 you focus in on like a specific emotion or like, you know, 807 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:15,640 moment in time. So that song was really like me 808 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,680 being like, I'm going to write about how I feel like you never 809 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,200 really gave a shit about me that much in the 1st place. 810 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,320 But obviously that it's not covering all of like the nuance 811 00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,360 that like situation, ships, relationships, whatever it is 812 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,440 like might have. So I definitely will take 813 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:37,280 accountability for like my my mistakes and that too. 814 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:42,280 But but also, yeah, like I, I think when I'm like obsessed 815 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:47,000 with someone, like I'm very like, I'm so like good to 816 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,920 people. Yeah, but also like, fuck that 817 00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:51,480 bitch. Also fuck that bitch. 818 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:56,600 Like for the record, like honestly and and and do you have 819 00:42:56,600 --> 00:43:00,960 this moment when you're like on tour performing for these people 820 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,280 that are frothing for you, thinking about this girl being 821 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:08,280 like, wow, you really fucked up you because I'm a spiteful 822 00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:09,760 bitch. I really AM. 823 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:12,840 And we were just talking about this because this whole thing 824 00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:18,160 about this, this like in the news, you know, there's this 825 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,080 like $0.50 being spiteful towards Diddy thing right now. 826 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,720 And I'm like really channelling this energy of like, like my 827 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:29,360 spite will run decades deep and like, scared. 828 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:32,480 Of what she's planning. You like, you have no, you have 829 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,960 no idea. And you know, like, I will lay 830 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:45,120 in wait to literally like, what, put a fucking, you know, hex on 831 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:49,280 your house. Like, yeah, I'm not, but I'm 832 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:51,720 very docile. Like I'm nonviolent. 833 00:43:51,720 --> 00:43:54,480 Like I'm not whatever. But like, if I have the 834 00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:58,480 opportunity to like, make sure that you don't have a smile on 835 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:03,280 your face one day, like, yeah, like I I might take it. 836 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,240 I don't. Might my ass, baby. 837 00:44:05,240 --> 00:44:07,480 I probably would. You would take it. 838 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,320 I would, I would, I would like probably use all my money and 839 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:14,160 resources to make sure that like you just like are unhappy for a 840 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,320 little bit, but. Even just for like a month. 841 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,320 I mean if someone does you dirty, I feel like that's your 842 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,280 right. It just depends on how with the 843 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,160 level. I'm not like that. 844 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,200 Yeah, yeah, if it's a small offense. 845 00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,880 Right, if it's warranted. If you shit on my lawn, right, 846 00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:34,800 and you literally come from my family and friends, like I will 847 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,360 make sure, yeah. There'll be fiery poop on your 848 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,120 doorstep. It will be fire poop right? 849 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:41,480 Like. It's so much funnier without the 850 00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:45,000 why fire. There will be fire poop on your 851 00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:47,600 lawn like and and I won't hesitate. 852 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:51,240 Would you take that opportunity? Like what type of person are 853 00:44:51,240 --> 00:44:52,280 you? Are you better than me? 854 00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:54,640 I I more. Involved, she said. 855 00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,800 Yeah. No, I get it. 856 00:44:56,800 --> 00:44:57,960 No, I get it. I get it. 857 00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:06,800 Well, OK, I think that for me the best kind of like revenge 858 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:08,440 or. This song, you're going to swift 859 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,880 it. No, no, not even that. 860 00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:15,440 Honestly, it's like if, if I like, if I really feel like I've 861 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:20,600 been done dirty by someone, then like I just want to like be 862 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:23,480 unforgettable to them in like every way. 863 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,000 So like I want to like be unavoidable. 864 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,560 Like I want you to like. You're going to have to see my 865 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:30,200 face everywhere. Like a billboard. 866 00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:32,720 Yeah, like you're going to see my songs and you're going to 867 00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,720 win. The Grammy for the song that I 868 00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,880 wrote about you. Right, like I'm going to, I'm 869 00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,040 going to open for all your favorite artists. 870 00:45:39,240 --> 00:45:42,200 You cannot get, you can't get away from me like that. 871 00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:44,760 Concert at 8:00 but you still saw 15 minutes of me. 872 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,480 Right, right. So like that's, that's kind of 873 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,560 the vibe. But also, like I said, Aquarius, 874 00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:50,640 it's like once I'm done, I like kind of don't care. 875 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,760 Amazing. Can you give that to me? 876 00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:55,400 What's stronger, the don't care or the spite? 877 00:45:55,880 --> 00:45:57,920 I feel like they don't care in this situation. 878 00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:00,080 I. Don't know, sometimes Spike 879 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,480 carries you. It is the best fuel. 880 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,720 I feel like it's it's kind of it's kind of both like it kind 881 00:46:05,720 --> 00:46:10,280 of turns into like it all just kind of like feeds into my like 882 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:14,080 general like stubbornness and like delusion to like keep like 883 00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:18,240 pushing with music until I like reach, you know, like the level 884 00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:21,600 that I want to be at. So it's all fuel to the fire. 885 00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:24,680 And also, yeah, it's just it's ultimately it's just like it's 886 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:28,240 material for music. Oh, true. 887 00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:32,560 Do you ever like, fuck up a situation just to get material? 888 00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:38,040 That would be crazy. I don't but I think I 889 00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:42,120 accidentally like manifested that because in in the long term 890 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:43,880 relationship that I was with with a man. 891 00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:47,600 That doesn't count, but yeah. Well, but it was, it was like I 892 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:52,840 would always like joke, like I like, I need more like material 893 00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:54,240 for writing. Like I feel like you need to 894 00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:56,120 like break my heart or something like whatever. 895 00:46:56,520 --> 00:47:00,840 And it was like a very like, it was not like a tumultuous kind 896 00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,720 of relationship. So but then at the end, 897 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:06,800 obviously when like everything came crashing and burning, then 898 00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,200 I was like, oh, I have a whole album worth of things now to 899 00:47:10,200 --> 00:47:11,200 talk about. So. 900 00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:13,040 So that's coming soon. So when? 901 00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:17,040 Did you start writing like? When was your first like EP? 902 00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:18,440 Your first album? When you got like. 903 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:23,680 I kind of like came into that. I'm a lead bloomer in a lot of 904 00:47:23,680 --> 00:47:26,720 ways, guys. It doesn't matter, as long as 905 00:47:26,720 --> 00:47:30,680 you come out of the womb and bust the V you're good like. 906 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:32,240 Can't hold me forever, baby. True. 907 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:37,240 Make your presence known, yeah. But so I, I started writing in 908 00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:42,040 like 20-19 ish and I thought so I've always loved music. 909 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:45,080 Like I thought that my, my love for music meant that I was like, 910 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:46,600 I should work in the music industry. 911 00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,480 Like that's what that means. Because I didn't have any like 912 00:47:49,720 --> 00:47:52,880 friends that were writers or really like musicians at all. 913 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:57,600 So I didn't have like an example of like, like what I could be 914 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:00,040 honestly. Same with like being gay. 915 00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:04,200 Like I didn't have a lot of like queer friends until I started 916 00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,440 pursuing music honestly. And then that's kind of when my, 917 00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:09,080 my like world opened up a little bit, but. 918 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,760 And this was in New York. Yeah, musicians are gay. 919 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:13,240 Musicians are gay. We're. 920 00:48:13,240 --> 00:48:16,280 Creative and well for. Sure, and New York is so chock 921 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:19,200 full of like so. Different kinds of. 922 00:48:19,200 --> 00:48:20,880 Artistry going on. Yeah. 923 00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,160 And just people living really authentically, which I think is 924 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,800 what kind of showed me like, OK, wait. 925 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:28,400 But actually there is like more to like my identity than I guess 926 00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:32,960 I thought I I, yeah, I'm super, super grateful that like, I 927 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,360 started pursuing music because I don't think that I would have. 928 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:37,720 I don't know that I would have realized that I was queer if I 929 00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:39,120 didn't like. Yeah. 930 00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,240 That's a big well. Eventually I'm sure I would have 931 00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:42,920 bubbled over, but for like a while. 932 00:48:42,960 --> 00:48:44,400 The labia would have struck you. Yeah. 933 00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,840 Yeah. Have you ever had an ex that you 934 00:48:46,840 --> 00:48:48,760 don't want to be at your show show up to your show? 935 00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:56,240 Wait, this is fun. So yeah, how do I want to like? 936 00:48:56,440 --> 00:48:59,440 How do I want to describe? Loving this I'm I'm AI in. 937 00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:03,000 I know you're like, escort this motherfucker out of the 938 00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:04,680 courting. No, it wasn't. 939 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,760 Courting. I would though, yeah. 940 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:10,160 I mean, in a particular, it wasn't an ex. 941 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:16,960 It was like, well, OK, in a particularly chaotic era of my 942 00:49:16,960 --> 00:49:22,480 life, there was a show where there were three people there 943 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:27,040 that in some way I had been involved with. 944 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:30,360 They banded together behind your back. 945 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,120 They didn't know each other. They were all there. 946 00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,720 Well, I guess in a way maybe some of them didn't know each 947 00:49:35,720 --> 00:49:39,120 other, but it was like I wasn't expecting all of them to be 948 00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:42,680 there and I was unwell. You. 949 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:46,000 Were like I was extremely unwell and I honestly I feel bad 950 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:49,680 because I think to to one of of like one girl that was there. 951 00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:51,840 I don't think I was very nice to her because I was like so 952 00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,960 shocked that she was there and I was like, why? 953 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,600 I mean I didn't say this, but I was like, why the fuck are you 954 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,120 here? Like, like it was. 955 00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,240 And it was just like I had just played a show. 956 00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:05,360 So I was like also like in business mode too, you know, 957 00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,000 like it was. A different energy. 958 00:50:07,000 --> 00:50:08,920 Yeah, like there were like people there that I was, you 959 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,640 know, like, like professional, like of course relationships. 960 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:14,320 And I'm kind of trying to like be on for that. 961 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:17,360 And then I'm like seeing like, like these three people all in 962 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:20,280 my line of vision and I'm like, I cannot, I actually can't 963 00:50:20,280 --> 00:50:21,960 handle this right now. So what? 964 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,600 Did. You do I just an Aquarius 965 00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,560 fashion. I just literally didn't deal 966 00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:29,200 with it. Peace. 967 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,560 Put it in the right guys. I gotta go to the green room. 968 00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,360 I. Was like, I'm gonna talk to 969 00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,680 other people and you guys are gonna hopefully not interact 970 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,480 with each other. Yeah, hopefully I angry like 971 00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:42,000 they probably did. And then they were like, yeah, 972 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,320 they're. Like she's such a bitch. 973 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:47,480 No, but look at her hot rusting bitch face. 974 00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:50,960 So you're literally coming to my, like, fucking show. 975 00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:53,560 Yeah, Like, yeah, what a win that is. 976 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:54,680 Yeah, yeah. Yeah. 977 00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:59,000 Wow that's the best card you could ever pull is like. 978 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,200 Talent card. Talent, yeah. 979 00:51:01,480 --> 00:51:06,560 What do you see, like, on the horizon for your career? 980 00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:12,640 We're really big on manifesting and putting everything out there 981 00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:16,880 in the world. Like what is your next big goal 982 00:51:16,880 --> 00:51:21,120 that you have on your plate? So I'm putting an album next 983 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,240 year. It's like my my debut full 984 00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:26,800 length album. So my goal for that is just for 985 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,400 my audience to grow like exponentially and for people, so 986 00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:33,680 many people to hear it and to to resonate with it and love it 987 00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:36,680 because I love it. I'm like very, very proud of 988 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,840 this project. So I can't wait for that to be 989 00:51:38,840 --> 00:51:40,920 out. Is there a stage that you want 990 00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,520 to like, get on? What is your, like, favorite 991 00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:45,000 stage that you're like? You know what? 992 00:51:45,240 --> 00:51:51,320 When I hit that stage, my lips have touched like right, 993 00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,680 everybody well. OK, I like my this isn't a 994 00:51:54,680 --> 00:52:00,160 stage, but I I feel like my kind of goal is like I want to be 995 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:04,160 muna famous, like I want to be like a household. 996 00:52:04,160 --> 00:52:06,520 I want to be a household name for like lesbians. 997 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:09,240 Yes, if I reach that point, I'll be happy. 998 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,280 Of course, like if I'm going to like Chapel. 999 00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:12,640 Right. It's like Madison Square. 1000 00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,000 Well. Who am I to, to like, you know, 1001 00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:16,600 put a ceiling on myself, of course. 1002 00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,920 But if I can, if like if that's the stage that I I reached, I'd 1003 00:52:19,920 --> 00:52:23,680 be like very happy to be yeah, like household name for the 1004 00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:27,560 lesbians and like grenade rap that that's amazing to me. 1005 00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:31,560 And I also think like just in terms of, of like audience, like 1006 00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:35,800 I think right now the, the type of like fan that that I have, it 1007 00:52:36,160 --> 00:52:41,760 feels very like like just supportive and like accepting 1008 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:45,560 and, and like fun, but still respectful, you know? 1009 00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:50,800 So I feel like kind of catering to to that type of person. 1010 00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:55,000 Like feels like it would just be a really like fun and like 1011 00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,160 fulfilling career. OK, so. 1012 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:01,320 You have, you have one choice, okay, gun to your head, you can 1013 00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:05,920 have MUNA Trajectory Chapel or Renee Wrap. 1014 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:08,520 I mean. No. 1015 00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,800 It's like Moon of Renee Chapel in terms of fame, but they're 1016 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,160 all lesbian. Yeah, but which one do you want 1017 00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:14,640 to pick? I. 1018 00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,800 Mean one is the most famous. Well, let's let her do it. 1019 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:22,400 Like hello, let's let her pick. You're picking for her. 1020 00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:23,840 You're right, I'm sorry. I'm just squeezing. 1021 00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:32,360 I mean, I'm gonna, I'm also Chapel because like, I like, I 1022 00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:35,160 don't know, I'm not, I'm like very open to whatever the 1023 00:53:35,160 --> 00:53:36,600 universe wants to bring me, you know? 1024 00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:38,960 And I think, like, it's been really amazing to see so many 1025 00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:43,240 like queer artists really succeed and like, see that that 1026 00:53:43,240 --> 00:53:46,480 can happen on like a mainstream level. 1027 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,760 But also, like, I just want to make music where the people who 1028 00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:56,560 get it, like have access to it and they get it and they love it 1029 00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:01,920 and like tour and and sell out shows and, and like just have a 1030 00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,520 good time. Like I just think like good. 1031 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,040 Queer Time. I make, I make art because like 1032 00:54:07,040 --> 00:54:11,000 I, I have to like, there's just no other option for me. 1033 00:54:11,000 --> 00:54:14,840 And so the best case scenario for me is just like the people 1034 00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,480 that people find it that like will appreciate it. 1035 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:21,680 And if that's like on a huge scale, then amazing. 1036 00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:26,160 But also if it's on like, also like big scale, that's not like 1037 00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:30,400 Taylor Swift, like crazy, like you can't leave your house. 1038 00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,960 Like, I actually think I wouldn't want that, you know? 1039 00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:35,360 Yeah. So I don't know if that answers 1040 00:54:35,360 --> 00:54:37,600 your question, but for sure. But yeah, I. 1041 00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:40,960 Think the world is your oyster. I really love that your music is 1042 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:43,880 touching the community. I I think that you're destined 1043 00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,120 for everything that you want and more. 1044 00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:48,720 Thank you. We absolutely thank you. 1045 00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:50,960 Thanks for. Coming on, tell everybody how 1046 00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:53,720 they can find you for our audio listeners. 1047 00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,160 You can find me Rachel Bachner on whatever streaming platform 1048 00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:02,040 you use Rachel Bachner on Instagram, TikTok, social media, 1049 00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:05,040 whatever. And thank you guys so much for 1050 00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:07,600 having me. Thank you so much the incredibly 1051 00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,400 talented Rachel Bachner. It is a true pleasure for us. 1052 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,800 Get her on your next Spotify Wrapped. 1053 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,040 That's right, period. Amen. 1054 00:55:16,360 --> 00:55:17,760 Amen. Adios, baby. 1055 00:55:17,760 --> 00:55:20,320 Women. Oh.