I come to you. You never come to us.
She's like I came a long ass way.
I got back to LA yesterday. God, it was a full day of
flying. Stopped over in Kansas City on
the airport. Oh, OK, you didn't go inside.
No, we didn't. Cities no.
Bosom. No, for some sweet.
Treats. I've been there.
On the way back. My brother lives in South
Dakota. OK, that's cold.
That's different there, yeah. I'm sure.
How do they feel about your presence there?
So they live in the town where the South Dakota University is.
OK. So it's really small, like
population is only like 5000. Oh, wow.
And when I was there in summer last year, I was walking around
the town and I don't like the sun so I had like a fool like
towel over my head walking around and everyone was just
like what the fuck? I love that made an impression.
OK, let's start the show. Are you ready?
Yeah. You excited?
I know, Me too. If I was pregnant, my tits would
be milking. Oh, you guys are welcome to an
amazingly scintillating episode of a Rung Sauce podcast, AKA La
Salsa Mala Bebe. Today we have Caitlin Dark, an
amazing musician, an Australian basketball player.
Please welcome Caitlin Dark. Welcome.
Thank you.
And today we have Jess Peters, an amazing Co host to my right,
happy to be here. We are so excited to have you
with us. Caitlin, you hit us up.
Our extreme pleasure because you wanted to come on and give us
your sweet mouth. Yeah, big fan, big fan.
Fuck yeah. And that's why I think Tippy is
a fucking icon. Oh my 100% stop, don't stop,
stop, stop. No thanks for having me.
No, it's, it's truly our pleasure.
I actually knew about you before you hit us up.
So this is a real treat because everybody's been in love with
you for quite some time. Because if you're Aura.
Yeah. Super hot Aura.
It's the Internet. I love the Internet and now I'm
all over it. You are everywhere.
I think you are every queers fantasy.
They are just drip drip dripping in so many locations for you.
Yeah, so many. I get messages constantly in the
requests. It's just thousands, thousands.
Thousands. People every day about five
times a day just DM in from unhinged to just sweet to
everything. What do they say?
What are some unhinged ones? What was one the?
Other masturbating on the toilet?
Have you gotten that one? That's a good.
One. No, I haven't.
Me neither, but I want it. There was, oh, I got one on
like, you know how TikTok is a bit hard to navigate with the
the messaging? I got one the other day and I
was like, I go to bed with your shirt on thinking of you or like
just like really unhit, like just like.
Very personal. Yeah, I'm just like, that's too
much. Yeah, it's.
So crazy I I see messages like that and like what I would
respond is like, do you smell it at night?
Or like, tell me how you think of me like I'm.
Just so crazy. I just don't even open the trap
door with the conversation 'cause that's.
What I'm told to do, but sometimes I engage.
I just go for it. I checked their profile and if
they seem a bit alright maybe I'd engage, but a lot of the
time. You don't know what?
You're getting, I do not know. There is some cooked people out
there. Yeah, like 3 steps away from the
institution. Yeah, and a lot of the messages
too. They're not just females or like
queer people. They're men.
I have a lot of men, a lot of men, and it's like, can't you
see that? I am not into.
So we were discussing this on a different podcast and this is
what I was told because I don't know my brain is so strange.
And I recently got Adm from a man that offered me $10 because
he said he masturbated to my photograph and I said Oh my God
that's amazing. You're like which photo?
Like I. Wanted a new.
Like my profile photo? Like on Facebook?
What? No, I was so curious and he was
like, I have to pay you. This is my penance.
And I was like, listen, man. It's a lot more expensive than
that. Like if it's $10 you can keep
it. I said if you want to send me
100 then we OK. Did he reply?
Yes. And he was like, just please,
you know, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, I'm just so
ashamed about that. I said I don't think you need to
be ashamed about it. I said Never feel ashamed about
your personal business, I said. But you just didn't need to tell
me about it. You know what I'm saying?
Can you imagine? But Tallulah told me that this
was the complete wrong response. And apparently what he was
searching for and what they're doing by DM ING us these types
of things is they want us to be completely like oh, I can't
believe you, you pig. And so by me being like, well
this is amazing. It was like.
He probably wanted to be like, you need to send me $1000.
Right now, you dirty motherfucker.
Like how? Dare you degraded They want to
be degraded, because now that I'm a everyone knows that I'm a
basketball and they know you're famous How how tall I am.
I get so many people been foot fetish people DM ING me yeah
and. This could be a new business.
I was going to say, have you thought about?
Yeah, I send videos of my feet and they you.
Heard it here first, folks. Wait, what?
How much is the bit like most that you got?
32nd video I get $80.00 and I'll just.
Send it up the price. We need to up the prices.
So I just film and I'll be like my foot.
My foot is bigger than your peasant little penis and that's
what they want. And so when?
Yes. And then I was, because I just
come, came from New York. I was meant to.
This guy was meant to come over for an hour and pay me $300.
No. Did you have security?
No, he was just going to come over.
He didn't know, show waste of time, but he just wanted me to
step on his face for an hour and just say you're a piece of shit.
My foot on your face is where it's meant to be because I'm
suffocating the life out of you piece of shit blah blah blah
blah blah. You're really good at this.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a method actor, yeah.
Wow. Honestly, if I were them and I
was really into this, you're the best person for the job.
Yeah. I mean, it's pretty easy.
I'm just like you piece of shit. You're underneath my foot.
You are hopeless. Your Dick must be so small and
my foot is so much bigger than it.
Right, because they want the little PP yeah thing.
Yeah. And his name for me is my
goddess. I love that, yeah.
Is he a repeat customer? Yeah.
Is this somebody that was in your DMS?
Yeah. Oh, perfect.
And then he's like, can you please follow me back on
Instagram? And I go, no, I don't want
anything to do with you. I just send you your videos and
that's where it stops. This is incredible.
I want to do this. Yeah, yeah, I was saying you,
you just need to put a foot emoji in your bio.
I should do it and get more customers but.
You should, yeah, I think you could, really.
We're raising the prices. Yeah, yeah, I know after this
podcast too. My.
Let's raise it to 1K. Yeah, let's raise it to 1K3. 3K
for an hour of face stepping for sure.
For sure at least three. K yeah, yeah.
Yeah. But no show.
I know like he's done. He's dead to me.
Yeah, because he didn't show up. He didn't show up.
He was a no show. It's over.
And this is it. So he's a New York guy, OK,
Yeah, a lot of things go down in New York.
Yeah. He was like, I'm going to drive
in. He's probably in the outskirts
of New York's and he's like, I'll drive in.
And we had 12:00 PM the day, the day, the day.
The time was all set in daylight.
Yeah, yeah. Shut up, that makes it so much
funnier. Yeah.
I mean, it's a noon call time, yeah.
And then he goes, and am I allowed to suck your toes?
And I said, we'll evaluate when you come over and the price
might be a little bit higher. Yeah, the price would
definitely. Be higher for sure.
I was really excited to feel. Like I should broker these
things for you because I feel like you're you're going really
low. Yeah, I know I'm a beginner at
it, but it's only going to increase from here.
Just. I'm a beginner.
I'm obsessed with that entire situation.
Yeah, we'll talk. Football is new to.
Me. Do you do this line of work also
while you're playing basketball? Oh, they like it more because
they're always sweaty. Yeah, they won't want me to film
content for them once I finish training or being at the gym and
they want me to take this one guy's really particular and he's
always like, you have to keep on saying, my sweaty big US13 size
shoe. I'm about to take my sock off
for my US13 sweaty Bigfoot. Honestly, like if that is their
thing, you really do nail it. Yeah, and I keep it, my tone
really like mono, like I didn't give a fuck.
I've just got a sweaty Bigfoot. And now how sweaty does the foot
actually get? It gets sweaty, like the sock is
moist, OK, but it's not dripping.
This one guy though. This other guy?
She's bringing it. Out for him.
So there's this one guy and he is like, I want you to film and
they want your feet kind of like paws up so the back of your
foot. And he goes, I want you to put
baby oil all over your feet and then slap your feet together.
And and I tried it and I did one video for him and I was like,
this is so unhinged. I feel fucked.
Like me sitting trying to put my feet.
I've. Got a good butterfly?
Position. So I I.
You got a long leg. Yeah, You got a.
That's a, That's a big. Yeah, big clap to the.
Feet and. Then and he goes, I really want
to hear the oil like slap and slip and blah blah blah.
And I was just. Does he have a particular brand
that he favours of the oil? No, he just wanted.
Lots. And lots and lots he goes.
You might need a towel underneath your foot because I
want lots of oil on on your feet.
Have you ever like engaged with oil?
Like intimately with a lover. Like Lube?
Yes. So Lube oil.
Have you ever done oil? Lube.
No oil. You know, it's a messy
situation. Oil.
Have you done oil? Oh my God.
Yeah, Yeah, that's a situation. It's really messy when.
You go to get a massage and the oils all over you, you feel like
you don't feel nice. I love it.
I literally I every time I shower.
There's nothing like glistening skin.
And if you put if you put it on while you're still wet, it
literally makes you like waterproof.
It's so weird like. I don't like that.
Roll right off of you. I don't like that.
I always say I dress like an undertaker.
My hygiene's like a surgeon. So the oil, I'm like there's a
bit of like it's a bit messy and not as sterile as like a product
that's meant to be used for that.
I totally hear you because my hygiene is very like at 100 but
usually in situations of the bedroom my thoughts of hygiene
go completely out of the window. Yeah, they they can, can't they?
It's just in a different like my hygiene brain went, you know, to
the to the living room and it's not here anymore.
When I feel when your hygiene brain comes back on into the
bedroom and means you don't like that person very much because
you're not thinking about being in the moment.
Yeah, you're not present. You're.
Thinking about is this person? Oh yeah, it's taken me to
certain situations. It's not a good time.
It's not a good time when your hygiene brain is on.
But yeah, when you are totally enamored with somebody and
getting really dirty with them, there's really nothing better.
No, like blood spit. Epic.
The whole night wet and wild. Wet and wild candle wax
chocolate. No, I don't actually do the
chocolate thing. The chocolate's not great, I.
Don't like eating in the bedroom?
OK. You're not meant to eat in your
bed. I agree with this and I've
gotten into several fights with my mates about this.
You sleep in the bed. You don't eat in the bed.
I agree with you. I got into a very serious fight
with an ex-girlfriend of mine because she it was like her fun
time experience. She's like I cannot believe
you're not going to allow me to eat in this bed.
I said I'll put down a tarp. I give a cow if I Yeah.
I'll put a tarp for you because you know what?
She was a very messy eater and we did the whole thing.
I put the tarp down for her and there were crumbs and it was
just look like a crime scene happened, no?
No, no, no. And you know what?
You've probably got a table and chairs downstairs or wherever.
Yeah, you can eat there. Absolutely you can.
You can even eat right next to the bed.
Yeah, right. But the last thing you need is a
crumb crawling upside of your Hoo ha.
And then then you're like, no thanks.
And then what's going to happen? You never know.
Could upset the pH. You don't know, I don't want it.
It's operation for me personally.
Operation preserve my pussy. That's my goal.
Keep it clean. Keep it clean, keep it clean,
keep it right. I was saying to Vanessa, who's
here. Shout out.
Vanessa, Papa.
I love vacuum cleaners. Oh.
I love vacuum. What's your favorite?
Well I like the old school ones that have a bag still inside
them because they actually do more sucking.
And PowerPoint. That's true PowerPoint vacuums
because there's no battery that can die.
I even have a vacuum tattoo. You're kidding.
No, I would love to watch you vacuum.
I would too, to be honest you. Should maniac vacuuming?
Honestly I want to get into twitch this year.
It's a goal and I should just live stream the vacuum, Gosh.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But you with a tiny vacuum I
think would be really funny. A dust Buster.
Is something just like. Is that what you call a dust?
I've got a couple of the little handheld ones.
Many vacuums. Do you own 3?
How many do you want? I'd love like 10.
Ten. Yeah, and you have the space for
them? That all have little spaces in
the house. You know, people like hang up
their like skateboards, vacuums. You could do vacuums.
You could just hang the vacuums and honestly.
It's a gallery. Yeah, it's a gallery of vacuums.
It could be like a museum. You could have the history I
bet. People will send you vacuums,
beat pegs, vacuums. I love it vacuums.
One of the best sounds that you can hear is when you you go over
a patch of dirt and it sprinkles up like the tube.
And I'm like, I got it. The floor is clean, my brain is
clean. OK, so are you usually the
cleaner in a relationship? I've dated some really messy
people. Usually, and this is just a
fact, but attractive people are usually messy.
Hot girls and baddies are messy. They are.
And I mean, it looks like a
tornado has hit the area. It's hard to see the floor.
Daily the tornado and even if it's picked up, you're like, how
did this tornado get here again? How did you drive 45 different
outfits? Right.
Yeah. So I almost was like, how can
this be averted? And I was thinking of like a tub
system and like maybe just taking all the shit and putting
it in a tub and like whisking that away.
Yeah, I've got a better way. Please.
So my ex and I, we lived together and we had our own
rooms. Yeah, it was perfect because you
can keep your room messy, have all your clothes everywhere, and
I'll keep mine pristine. Yeah, like an operating room.
Yeah, and then you can sleep over.
I'm feeling good or I'll sleep over in yours.
You're going to sleep over in Tornado Town.
Yeah, sometimes I did. And then it's like like you.
Open your eyes and like resort back to this.
Was my past to. You I'll deal with your mess.
About the crumb thing, sometimes I'd get into the bed and be
like, you've been eating in here, haven't you?
But I often wonder like is there any way to like break the habit?
Like if you show a good example. Like they do break the habit.
I find that with their extremeness of like messy, they
have this one day maybe once or twice a month where they'll go
on a cleaning frenzy. Yeah, it's like a pimple.
It's like the pimple has like been brewing and brewing and
brewing and then finally you just pop it and then that's
their cleaning day. Yeah, yeah, they'll have one
cleaning day. The room stays clean for about
48 hours and then it's bad again.
Unless they have an event to go to that night, yeah, it's just
screwed. And it's this.
You're screwed with your hair comes.
It's this. Literally I.
Can't find anything I. Have nothing to wear.
I have nothing. Yeah, they're very messy girls.
Yeah. What's your sign?
Capricorn. Love, love, you're about that
life. Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, yeah, you're about getting shit done.
Yeah, I love achieving my goals. That's what it's all about.
And if someone gets in the way, I'm like bye.
I don't care about being by myself if my goals are getting
achieved. I'm very psychotic with my
goals, very determined. Nobody's going to stop me.
Like I'll kill you before you stop me if it has to come down
to it. No, I feel that.
So like it's the same. But that's how you probably got
to be a professional basketball player.
Obsessed it have to be. Like it's like goals and all my
like dreams I'm chasing and then things happen on the side.
But like, I've got to if I die tomorrow, the thing that will
upset me most is did I achieve my goals?
Did I get shit done? Did I do enough?
If you died tomorrow, would you be happy?
No, I've got so much to do. That's hot.
Yeah. I love your energy.
You've got so many projects going.
On Oh yeah, well, music is like my main, main, main thing.
Like, that's like, I've always been a musician.
And then I was very talented at basketball and I turned
professional at 16 and then I got swept up.
Professional at 16. Yeah.
So in Australia I went to this place called the Australian
Institute of Sport and you get hand picked to go to this place
in Canberra and you just train every single day to like play
for Australia and it's like less than 1% of Australians get to go
for any of the sports. Like it's so prestigious.
So you're really special. I'm really special.
You're Australia's favorite, yeah.
I was so shit at basketball growing up, but I was so
obsessed and so goal orientated and so focused and I would just
practice to like my fingertips bled from shooting.
I was just like hyper fixated. And then, yeah, like, got all
like my basketball goals and dreams and stuff like that.
And then I was like, oh, I'm kind of over it.
And then I retired at 26 and then took so long off
basketball, disappeared and like, started doing music and
all of that. And then COVID happened and all
these coaches, no imports were allowed into the Australian
Basketball League. So all these coaches and
managers and agents were like, I wonder what Caitlin's doing.
Do you remember that player? So people started contacting me
and being like, hey, do you still play basketball?
Would you want to sign with a team?
And I was so bored in Melbourne's lockdown.
So I was like, fuck yeah, I'll sign, I'll play.
So I hadn't played for years and then I got flown and moved to
Queensland for a few months and just play.
First class. No, but they give me exit Rose.
I was going to say, you're very long.
Yeah, but they flew me. I was living in Queensland while
Melbourne was in lockdown and I just like played really well and
everyone's like, Oh my God, she's still alive and she still
plays like can still bore. So then every season after I was
just getting resigned by different clubs and I'd be like,
you know what? I don't play basketball anymore.
I can't really be bothered. So then I'd pick and choose
contracts. So a lot of teams would fly me
back and forth just to play the games and I wouldn't have to
train and that just pay me per game and I just to this.
Can you request things like I want a personal chef I want?
It's not, it's not like I like wish but like it was that just
fly me up and I'd stay a weekend and play like 2 games and fly
back to Melbourne and just live my normal life.
Wouldn't even touch a basketball.
If agent or a team catch me on a good day, I might sign five
games. That's it, yeah.
That's all you get. Yeah.
So is everybody fucking everybody on the basketball
team? Oh my God, if there was like a
gossip magazine for the sports world, for women's basketball,
it would be rife. There is so much going on,
there's so many layers. My sister is also used to be a
professional basketballer as well.
My family's quite sporty and her drama and life would have been
like a six page spread. Like she really got caught up.
I don't fuck with sports people and sports girls.
I don't really find them attractive.
I was going to say because they're not your type.
That's not what's your type. My type would be Julia Fox.
Like, I actually think I want someone who has their world and
that's their world and they're an artist and they do it well.
And they also have priorities like how she's a mum.
I love that. And then she's got her whole
career and her whole like, vision of her art in her head.
She's like a cyclone. I love that.
And then I can just be a little collaboration on the side.
Julia, where you at? Julia where you at?
She follows me on TikTok. I bet she does.
So she knows I exist. I mean, I bet you are just one
large palm away from accessing her in New York.
I bet your people know her people in New York.
We've got a lot of mutuals, yeah, so many mutuals.
So you can hit the mutuals. If I were you, I'd be like, Hey,
Sarah, get Julia at the party. And they'd be like, well, I
don't know. She doesn't want to go out.
She's taking care of her son, like, blah, blah, blah.
And you're like, OK, well, you could just extend the invite,
see if it happens. I'll come over and cook her
dinner. Wow, but it'd probably have to
be on a night where the child isn't there because you probably
wouldn't get the intro because she's very serious about her
child. She should be, yeah.
I think it's hot, yeah. We'll see if the universe
provides. Do you ever slide in to the DMS?
Never. Once, no, I actually made a song
and before I went viral, I made this song and I had a sample of
her interview, that one where she's like, you've got to be
delusional. And I sampled that just at the
start of this song. And I did send her a message
just saying, oh, I didn't realise you follow me, but I'm
about to release this song. And it's so strange.
I've sampled your voice. Here's the Dropbox if you want
to hear it. But I was like, it stays on
scent. I think when you've got millions
and millions of followers, you just would not, like, get
anything. Yeah.
But you think if she follows you that it would have put it.
I also think she's someone who doesn't fuck with her inbox
she's got like she would have. She probably pays people to do
that. Yeah, like I don't even have
like a quarter scale of followers like someone really
influential. So you.
Have like thousands and. Thousands.
I get thousands. So many on the.
Thousands. Thousands.
Let's say millions. Iconic.
Yeah, but like, I just couldn't imagine, like on a grand scale,
having so many followers and so many people trying to access
you. My my friend's circle is quite
tight. I'm like, I'm how tight.
I've probably got like less than 10 good friends, like they're my
people, but I. And if you called them and you
committed a murder? Oh, they would be healthy, no
problem. No.
They wouldn't be like, oh, you did it again, not again.
You're like. We need to find a new.
Spot to hide this body. My friends told me that they
absolutely would not help me bury a body.
While some of them to be fair some of them are riders but some
of them were like no we're not because it probably happened in
the bedroom and that's your fucking fault.
And I said if it happened in the bedroom, it wasn't on purpose.
Oh yeah, Accident, yeah. Accidents happen.
Accidents. They do.
You know what, I've just met you, but I'd help you roll that
body up and. I wouldn't need your strong
physique, absolutely. I'm not that strong.
I've seen some of your workout videos and I'm like, that's
pretty good. You're agile.
Agile. Yes, you're.
Very agile. I can jump.
Nimble. Move, but I like strength.
I would prefer when I play basketball to run an extra meter
instead of physical like a physical battle with some of the
other players because I just don't like physicality on the
court. Oh my God, If I had your body,
I'd be bodying these bitches. I'd be like, oopsies, no.
Every season that I play, I break a rib or bruise a rib
because they're elbowing. Yeah, so it's hard.
And you can't do anything for a broken.
Rib no. And I'm just.
Have to find a nice woman to like help lick your wounds.
Yeah, they're so painful because when you roll around in your
sleep at night, you wake up because of the pain too.
But I don't have much meat on me, so I'm just like a praying
mantis. Great, so no hookups with any
teammates ever? No, no from. 16 to now 0.
There is one basketball girl that I've hooked up with, but
that's it. OK, just one.
Yeah, just one. And she lives in Italy, so it
doesn't matter. She was shipped off.
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
Kind of crazy all these basketball players like so so
well hung. Yeah, yeah.
So well hung. So well hung.
Literally, you get inserted and you're like, huh.
Yeah. Like well hung.
Yeah. Like this is your Dick.
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
OK. Very.
Well, hung, right? So if you insert your fingers
into a girl, they're going to be stuffed like a Turkey on
Thanksgiving dinner. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, right.
OK. And there's bigger girls than
me. I'm sure it's basketball.
Anything goes. Yeah, This brings me back to
like the question that I always love love to ask.
What would you rather be cheated on with?
Somebody hotter than you or somebody more unattractive than
you? I think unattractive you then
you're like, all right, bye. Right.
And then you could call your friends and be like, Can you
believe this is really embarrassing?
Have you seen? It's really embarrassing.
I'm the opposite I think. You're like I'm.
Like she she could be hotter than me, but she's not cooler
than me. Like.
I. Promise.
Wait, so wait, so you would rather you to be cheated on with
someone hotter but not cooler? Yeah, OK.
I'd rather be the cool ex than the.
I don't want, I don't want them to be hotter.
I don't want them to be cooler. I want them to literally be like
broke. I want them to be like a loser.
That would make me feel good. But.
Isn't that a bummer? Because it's like, no.
No, no, because that just makes you stupid and I can deal with
that. OK, OK, OK.
My ex I like obviously we broke up but then her new partner so
cooked her new she got her girlfriend pretty much like 2
weeks after we broke up. Yeah, typical.
I was. She was probably talking to her
the whole time. Yeah, probably, but.
Shout out she's. Probably in your DMS though.
Loki The. Girlfriend's probably in your
DM. But get this, my ex's name was
Sheridan. Her new partner's name is
Sheridan. A little twin says like with the
same name. That is gross.
That's. Such a.
Random name? Yeah, I know, I know, I know
how. Many it's.
Common name in Australia. No, no, it's it's it's really
weird and awkward and I feel like Sheridan squared is is just
like, it's like it's not good, it's not cool, it's not fun.
Who has same name? Yeah.
So. If you think about it right,
you're not calling the person by their government name.
Usually it's like I don't know or like baby or whatever you do
like. I feel like these two people
would definitely be like Sheridan, Sheridan, Sheridan,
Sheridan. So they belong together?
Yeah. OK, cute.
No love lost there. No, and they're happy.
Like my Sheridan has her Labrador Sheridan, so they're
happy. They have your dog.
They did take the dog that we had, but no the other
Sheridan's, like a Labrador that just follows the other Sheridan.
Oh, wait. The dog's name is Sheridan.
No, the dog's dog. 'S name I was.
Like no, no, no, no. Sheridan.
Sheridan and the dog. Sheridan.
No, that's Sheridan. The dog's name is Bag.
So she took your dog? Yeah, she took the dog.
What are your thoughts in a breakup about split custody of
an animal? Well, I was actually in
Indonesia with my best friend. That sounds so luxurious.
Yeah, it was nice. It was for her birthday and we
were just on holiday like R&R, and then we were sharing the dog
still. And then I get a text message
being like, I'm taking the dog, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You'll never seen it again. And like she was jealous I was
on holiday. Yeah.
She's trying to ruin your trip. Yeah.
They always try to ruin the trip and it's like you go out of town
and your ex is unhappy, they're going to send you a fucking text
to ruin your time. Why?
Why all of a sudden I'm in the hospital like, like, I'm stuck
in quicksand like. Anything, anything, anything,
anything. Or it's just like, I miss you
and you're like shut up. So unhinged but she was also
with like her partner at the time.
I'm like why are you texting me? Like this is gross behaviour.
But anyway, she took the dog. It was a toy poodle as well.
Oh, really good looking. Really good looking.
It broke my heart. I cried and cried and cried.
Yeah. Anything, yeah, Small.
You can stroke them in your lap. Yeah.
But then I bought another dog, a teacup poodle and caught it
child with a friend so. Perfect.
So you share child with a friend?
Yeah. I love that village.
I love. These names.
Yeah, they could. Child is wonderful.
Imagine if you had a real child and called it child.
Yeah, exactly. Child.
One child. Two.
Oh no. Well I was thinking like names
for kids. Could be cool if you caught it
123. I love this idea.
I love the name. Say ONE, you know?
Yeah. Or maybe if it'd be even weirder
if you did numericals just. Yeah, one that you want.
Or a bit more of a vibe or no tour.
I love when you speak with your accent.
Commis Day. Listen, it does something to me.
Yeah, I know X is running vacations.
That's something, huh? I didn't know it was as common
with the like holiday text as you mentioned, so that's good to
know. Oh yeah, they always hit you
around the either a vacation, holidays, birthday, birthday
holidays are always a good one. Like, oh, it's Christmas.
You know, like. I don't have many X's, so yeah,
it's good to know. How many X's do you have?
2. You have two.
No three. OK, Yeah.
So if you guys think that you were an ex, you weren't, and I'm
really sorry about that. You weren't.
No, that was just probably a situation.
OK, so. Or dating.
Mostly you do dating. I don't even date.
OK, so you just. Yeah.
Mate, for a night, it's kind of like what you do with the
basketball. You're like, you'll have me for
three days. Yeah.
Or yeah, like I was in two kind of really long term
relationships that took me out of the game for close to 10
years and then I dated a little bit and datings a bit.
I was just like people are boring, people suck.
I don't want to waste energy if I have no really are.
Yeah, and I don't. Fucked up out there.
You're like, get a personality. For real.
And yeah. And then if you've got no
intentions and dating I'm, I was like, I'm wasting my time.
I could be at the gym, I could be making music.
I could be doing this. I'm not dating anyone until
someone comes into my life and blows me off my feet and I'm
like whoa. I feel the same way, but I feel
like even when we're in a relationship, my time is very
precious. So if I'm stopping working,
which is mostly what I do for you, I feel like it's training
or whatever. But for me, it's like working.
And I'm usually doing shit for this podcast.
And if I'm taking time off from that to spend time with you and
all you want to do is like scroll TikTok on the fucking
couch. Like I could be working during
this time if we're not spending intentional time together where
we are having a conversation or going out to do something.
Experiencing something new that you can have together?
Yeah. And then I would usually get
like, you'd rather be working right now.
And it's like, you're fucking right I would, because watching
this bullshit that I don't care about is not my idea of a good
time. Time is money time.
Is. Money.
Time is money. And like, I could die tomorrow.
So like, I need to get to my goals.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
To my. Goals.
It's real. It is real.
It's that's that important to me.
It's so real. And I think a lot of people
don't get that. So yeah, I've slowed down on
even trying to entertain anybody right now because I just don't
think anybody gets it, No. Have you ever blocked anybody?
I actually saw the other day I have 6 people blocked.
What's your thoughts on the block of an ex after a breakup?
Do you do it? Well, I don't have many exes,
like I said, yeah, but there was there was this girl that I had a
bit of a thing with for like maybe 3 weeks, 4 weeks.
We didn't really like. It wasn't a big deal.
It was just like a. We're just having fun.
Having fun. And I was in this position where
I felt bad. So I kept like being like, oh, I
feel bad like I should hang out with you.
It was just yuck. Anyway, I, I had to like end it
with her and then I just like left it.
And then the next day I had 30 minutes of voice memos from her,
like voice messages, and I just didn't listen to any of them.
Didn't read anything she wrote and just like had to block and
delete. Bye.
And the universe blesses me because I've never seen her
again. Oh, that's really lucky.
Yeah, really lucky. Where did she live?
Melbourne. Same.
Yeah, same state, but yeah, just different circles too.
So do you go out in the queer scene in Melbourne?
I'm such a shit queer. I don't really go out in the
queer scene. Melbourne's.
I go to a lot of raves or like parties my friends throw and a
lot of my friends are queer, so they're very queer heavy and
friendly, whatever. But yeah, I don't really like
queer nights, OK. I feel like lesbian nights,
they're not as open minded. I feel like a lot of lesbian
nights or whatever have like a food chain and they're not
accepting of all queer people. It's just a certain category of
like lesbians. And I don't really like that
vibe. And yeah, I don't know, I just
like don't like the, the rainbow colours.
I don't like, I feel like they're the worst colours
possible to be mashed together and be like, this is your
representation. And then the queers who like put
sparkles on their face, the rainbow colours and all those
those nights are just so tacky and yuck.
I don't know what kind of lesbian nights you're going to,
but there's so many in LA that I mean, well, so many different
events. So it's like very catered to
like different. They're starting to get better,
I feel. Yeah, in Melbourne there's a
couple of cool things happening as well, but I am gonna go to
Honey's on Saturday. Apparently that's a vibe of.
It's a vibe. I was gonna go because actually
I almost beat up a man the other night.
And that's a real story with my friend Alyssa.
And we met the girls of the man that we were almost about to
beat up. And one of those girls is a
bartender at Honey's and was like, oh, you guys should come
to Honey's on Saturday. Oh, this Saturday.
This Saturday, yes, I might be there, yeah.
Let's do it. Be fun.
In New York, we went to, My friend runs a party called Exes.
It's over 28. Yeah.
It was really fun.
Beautiful crowd. It always is in New York.
Yeah, but then like I get to like, you're there and I'm like,
why am I here? I can't be bothered and I need
sleep. Bye.
I could be training, yeah. She could be back to me.
Yeah, I could. Be back to.
Me, but I love techno and I love like the club and are like a
really good techno producer or what not coming I usually.
Have you been to Berlin? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, Bergheim love it. Yeah.
But I usually go for the music because I love to dance and I
just love to like peace out on. The I'd love to see you dance.
I just Bob. Really.
You Bob, You don't dance. I just like.
OK, yeah, I'm more of a full body dancer myself.
I really put my back into it. I put my back into it.
Yeah, but I'm Latina, so, you know, I got hips ways, you know,
Tip throws a bag. I do.
I just let the music take me. I don't know what happened.
In New York, I went to a line dancing.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. It was called Buck Wild and that
was fun, but I didn't line dance, but I watched.
I like watching. I don't like participating in
line dancing. Yeah, my memory can't put
together those steps for some reason.
There's a lot happening and they all know what to do.
And you don't wanna be the fish out of water, the fish on the
the sand. Yeah, been around.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
There's like a dance that. Lambada.
Well, no, we were in like I was in Atlanta with Chloe and
there's like these songs that come on and everyone knows the
dance like it's like. Is this line dancing?
Kind of. Like, yeah, but it's like this
weird modern line dancing, and it's to like modern music.
And they all know the weird. It's like to like a.
Britney Spears song. No, it's like crazy, but every
single person I'm like, how does everyone know this?
I. Don't know how they know
everything. And.
You know what they they teach this but.
It was there and then it was also in Texas.
I don't know, Maybe it's like, you know.
Something that everybody knows and I've never seen.
I don't know. They all know it.
It's wild. I don't know it whole bar I.
Don't know it either. And I do like to watch.
It's a nice little, almost like country gay parade.
Yeah, it's cute. It's a community.
And it's. They all have fun.
If if. People are having fun and it
brings some joy. I'm like, hell yeah.
Unless they're in rainbow and sparkles.
Then. It's too much.
Yeah, it's too much that crosses the line.
So you don't do like gay parades?
No Oh my God, I went to Sydney Mardi Gras for the first time
World Mardi Gras 2 years ago and I was so appalled.
I was watching the parade and I thought the parade people were
looping over and over, but it was just the same kind of floats
over and over and over and over. And I felt like it was just
straight people watching the floats, like zoo animals.
I was like, this is gross and it's just a car with some
decorations and some naked people going by.
What's so good about it? So there's no amount of money
that somebody could pay you to get in some rainbow like.
I would never tight. Shorts.
No, no, no, no. I you're.
Like an hour of face stepping 300 bucks but to get on that
fucking pride float? Absolutely not happening.
No, I would never gram. No.
Julia, I could. I could do it for 40 grand.
What if Julia was in If Julio in sparkle?
If it was like a all black high heel on top of a float, me and
Julia, I'd probably do it, you know?
You and Julia a little bit of make out.
You guys can play rock paper scissors like you'll figure it
out. But I fucking hate Mardi Gras.
I Oh my God, I'm the worst queer.
No, it's fine. Thoughts on your thoughts on
scissoring? Scissoring.
Yeah. Like it's, it's something that
happens. You've done it.
Yeah, everyone. Yeah.
I feel like if you're a queer female, they, you know, you've
scissored. Yeah.
Just like another.
Form of making out. A girl tried to scissor me the
other the other month and I think it was because it's like
she knew that I'm like not very pro scissor.
And I was like and I couldn't do it.
So I offered her my leg. I couldn't.
I was like, I don't I don't do this like it's not my thing.
I'm not here for the scissor and I was like, but you can have my
leg. I've had my leg used before.
It's something you don't like. Jump straight to.
Yeah, I'm at an age where I'm like, this isn't for me.
I know what I like. This is not like and honestly
anytime it's happening I'm literally there being like why?
Yeah, like I feel like you have a sex tool kit and like you have
different tools, like you have different things.
How do you feel about sleepovers?
Sleepovers if the person. What do you do when you don't
want to sleep over? Oh my God, what do you say I I
get into this quite a bit? I bet.
I always give the precursor saying I want to get up early in
the morning, so I I probably won't be able to stay.
And then here comes the time where like they're like, are you
really gonna go? And I'm like, yeah, I'm really
gonna go. I like to wake up in my own bed.
Me too. And I like to get my days.
To your house, what do you say? I have been known to get up,
have a shower and be like, do you want to get, do you want me
to, I'll get you a coffee. Do you want to get this show
moving, you know, or I'm a personal trainer.
So I sometimes start work so early that I'll get up, go to
work, come back, they're still sleeping.
And I'll be like, look, it's I'm, I've already done work.
You're still here. Like you're like I've had my
whole day. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I wouldn't say it's passive aggressive, but I kind of make
it known that it's time to leave.
But I'm nice about it. So I was with this girl and I
said to her, I was like, oh, are you trying to fall asleep?
I was like, I don't really do sleepovers.
And she was like, oh, why you being so weird?
And I was like, are we really going to get into it?
I don't know why anybody wouldn't leave if.
You're like. I also don't understand how some
people just don't want like their own space.
Like, isn't that nice? Unless we've had Here's the
thing. There's a difference right
between like, oh, we're having a hookup and like, oh, we've spent
the most magical evening like we are.
We have intercepted each other's soul.
Like when are you moving in? Like it's.
Either when are you moving in or when is your car arriving?
It is. Is there's no in between.
Yeah, yeah. That's.
It that's what it is. And there's one other if you've
gone out partying and you've been on the recreation or drugs
and you've been like, you know, you're still awake, it could be
the next day. So you're probably going to
still hang out. But then at that point, if
you're done, you're like, I can call you a car.
Yeah. Because clearly they can't
drive. Yeah.
But like, I think that that's like, very gracious.
If you're like, hey, I'll, you know, call you a car.
And it's always tough, though. It's very uncomfortable for me.
Is it uncomfortable for you? No, I'm pretty.
I'm a good ruthless. I'm yeah, I'm a good straight
shooter. I often say exactly how I feel,
if I'm feeling or thinking thinking something in the
moment. But it doesn't come across too
rude because. Or maybe it does, but but.
I always feel bad. Yeah, I just kind of say how I
feel and think. Yeah, I do too, but people get
mad about that sometimes. Yeah, do bit.
I get in trouble a lot. Same what do?
You get in trouble for. I get in trouble for speaking
the truth and a lot of people can't handle the truth and I'll
just call things out. I dated this person and they
drank a lot of alcohol. I'm not a big drinker and tell
me if I'm wrong, but you'd go out for a drink to a bar, have a
cocktail or two, Three. That's a lot of drinks, right?
Totally. So, so many drinks.
I mean this one loves to throw them back.
I'm not like I go out with her and she loves to throw them
back. But even 3 is a lot for me.
So like 3 and I'm like, I'm not. I'm not getting hammered if I'm
with some. No, it's not drinking.
Well, it's like 2A Tuesday. Night.
I don't care. I mean, I'm gonna do me.
It's a it's a Tuesday night. You've just gone out for a
little date, a date dinner, had two drinks, and then you're kind
of like, that's a nice night. This person would be on the way
home. Be like, I'm just gonna stop in
the bottle. Oh, and grab a bottle of wine.
I was like. Oh no, no, we don't have to.
Do no, Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then that drink the whole
bottle or that's alcoholism. Exactly.
Yeah. And I kind of mentioned it and
said in my circles this is not really normal behaviour and I
got in trouble for. It Well, yeah, I mean, an
alcoholic is going to get mad that you're calling them an
alcoholic if they're an absolutely normal, Yeah, they're
like, how dare you call attention to the elephant in the
room. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I found out the hard way, but whatever.
Do you ever get in trouble with friends?
I know a lot of people. Tell them that you'd think
they're wearing a shitty outfit. I tell them.
Yeah, me too it. Comes from a good it comes from
a good place. So I don't feel all my friends
know that I I don't really do things from a bad place.
That's more trying to give them good advice.
Also, like in those situations, like I would never give someone
that advice if I wouldn't want it in in like, yeah, yeah.
You'd want to reverse. Yeah, exactly.
If I wouldn't want it said to me, I'm not going to say it, but
if I would, then I'm like and listen, majority we got like.
Exactly. And you only have your center of
perspective to yourself. You want advice because they
have different perspectives. So isn't that completely valid?
And if you're asking, I'm giving you a whole different
perspective to take into consideration.
Yeah, it's tricky though, because I tend to treat people
as I would want to be treated. But I have learned that
everybody wants to be treated in their own specific way.
And so that's what's interesting.
And with long term friendships, it's really easy because you
know, like this one's a real sensitive, so I can't say this
and da da da, otherwise she's going to cry every day or
whatever. Or, you know, you kind of have
everybody locked down. But with a new friendship, it's
always tricky because you're like.
You've got to navigate it and being in bands and everything
you're you've got relationships with so many people and you're
making something together. So the conversation, sometimes
they're are cooked. It's like a cut throat and
you're saying like your point of view and it's so heated, but you
just have to do. It and then God forbid that
person isn't taking it, then everybody gangs up.
It's just better to just take, take the advice and hear it and
like sit on it. Oh my God, bands are so messy.
That's like trickier than a relationship.
There, Yeah. And I'm in one of my bands.
I'm one of five, and they're all.
There's another queer, the other singers are queer male.
And then they're all straight boys as well.
So it's like, come on. So you have an EP out.
Yeah, the EP itself is like a whole concept.
It's like psychosis. The music, the genre and
everything. Some of the songs are already
out. It's as if I've gone into a
mental state of delusion and psychosis and I've gone to a
mental hospital. And the opening track is like
this whole it's almost like a film score kind of movie through
music. Have you been in psychosis
before? Drug induced psychosis.
Yeah, OK, cool. So you know about psychosis?
Yeah. Yeah, OK, Same.
Same. It's not fun, but you don't know
what's happening at the time, Yeah.
And have you ever been sent away to an institution?
A lot of my friends have. And lovers.
I I feel I've been in very like regimented psychology, like
because my mental health has been a bit wibbly woo.
So I've had to like go through times where it's very intense
psych, but never to. The only institution was the
Australian Institute Institution of Sport and that was like a
different type of institution. What do you what do you do to
get your mental health right these days?
I know my go to's which is like staying on top of like what
makes me feel good and brings me joy.
So I love training. So I have to keep the the gym
and like my exertion of energy like out and that keeps my
mental health really stable. I like to walk and listen to
music and make music and write and then seeing friends.
Friends can bring your mood and elevate you so much.
When you're having a like a depressive feeling like you
don't want to see anyone's cause, soon as you see a good
friend or someone that brings your energy up, you're like.
Recharge is. So much better.
This was really fun and having lots of avenues that you your
life builds from. So if you're so fixated on just
your work and like your partner and that's your whole world,
they're two streams. And so if one goes bad, you only
have one stream to get your mental health on track.
But if you have like 10 streams that you can pull from.
So if two streams are going bad, you have like 8 other streams
that build you. The highs and the lows balance.
Each other out yeah, yeah, yeah that's.
Actually really good advice. I I believe in that too.
Having multiple streams of happiness or like you know, joy.
Joy sourcing. Yeah.
And that way you can suck from each teat and if one goes down.
Yeah, you have like, yeah, you have foundation, Yeah.
A lot of utters. That's so important.
I think everyone should be taking up more hobbies as they
get older as well and just finding new things that bring
joy and and try to keep so much happening and always expands and
always learn and always grow. Because if you make your world
small, your mental. It's a recipe for disaster.
Exactly, Yeah. So the EP is about your
psychosis or yeah, putting yourself into a psychosis.
A whole journey type of thing of, yeah, me reaching out to my
producer and being like, I want to write a EP.
And then it goes into like this kind of like psychosisy state to
prep you for like the songs. And because I've got a goth
industrial band I used to have and then I've got like this pop
punk band and I've always played music and been in bands but
never done solo stuff. So this kind of like builds this
whole genre. And if you know me, the genre
like kind of flows through the music because it's just a scale
of so many different genres meshed in.
But I also think that's my vibe. You're a fucktown vibe of mixed
vibe. Yeah, like even how you dress
and your expression. Some days I, I feel like I'm
just gonna rinse the black and be like hyper goth, whatever.
But then some days I'm like, I'm gonna just wear all blue.
You do all blue. Yes, sometimes I just.
Wear them up, out. There.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow.
You never know what you're gonna get, OK?
So yeah, I just think like music is like emotions and weather,
like they come and flow through you, and you just have to like,
let it, let it be and take on whatever that is.
And fashions like that too. You have a great fashion sense,
I have to say. Thank you, that means so much.
You do too. No, I and I'm very picky and I
really, really like your fashion sense.
Oh my God. I love that thank you style and
fashion sense I think is intuitive too and you have to
know how to hold yourself and what looks good on you.
I think because like rich people can buy all the designer brands
but then they can look like shit so.
Yeah, that's the thing though, I always say money cannot buy you
style because I've seen a bunch of rich people and they put this
shit on and you're like, yeah, it cost $5.00, but it looks like
shit. Yeah, yeah, that boots is nasty.
Yeah, you know. It's real.
No, But that means a lot. We.
May I ask you? Could be an inappropriate
question, but I'm going to ask. Great.
So when you're intimate with a mate, do you ever puncture them
with your fangs? Because if I had your fangs, and
I'm very much into blood, as our viewers know, I would,
absolutely. I get, I get a lot of people
asking for me to bite them. Yeah.
I'm like, yeah, I can give a little bite, but I don't draw
blood. Because you don't want to.
No, because it's messy. Oh, right.
Yeah, and and I don't know. What if there was a tarp?
I will maybe, but I don't know how sharp these would go and I
don't know how much blood would come out.
Do you want to try on tips I'm. The bite or not the bitey.
Because they're quite sharp, so. And what if I hit like a artery
and you? Have to know where you're
biting. You have to be strategic.
You have to know where you're, you know you're punctualized.
Ass cheek is probably fair. There's probably not a lot of
blood. Leak.
No. There's blood that leaks there.
There's blood for sure. I can't no bit.
People just ask you that in public will be like.
Yeah, and like a lot of straight girls will ask just randomly be
like, Oh my God, you bought me. Like not here.
You're. Like in the alley, Yeah.
Meet me in the alley, yeah. Yeah, I think there's a big
thing with like, vampire fetish too, Yeah.
So people get swooped up with that.
You've never done vampire role play.
No, I just got these fangs because my teeth are perfect and
I was like, I want them to be a bit more crooked and I think it
makes my smile charming. I think so too.
It absolutely makes it so charming, yeah.
That's so funny, I can't imagine going up to someone being like
wait by me. Yeah.
People are bold. People are really bold fangs.
I mean, yeah. You know people want it.
Yeah, 100%. They want it bad.
They want you bad. I just think I'm a novelty.
I know I'm a bit of a meme. Like I'm a six foot 4 goth
looking person who like stands out and has fangs.
People are like whoa. I don't see, I just don't see it
that way. But I think I have weird eyes,
you know, I'm just like, oh, I like your, your fashion.
Yeah. Well, I think about you're
either that side of the fence or you're the other side of the
fence. I see.
People get it and people are novelty vibe.
People are fanging out more though these days, I feel like.
It's not like you know. They are.
They really are. Fangers out there.
No, there's lots of fangers. Yeah, there's lots of fangers
out there. Fangers.
Are fangers, Yeah. Fangers and Fang bangers.
Yeah, I would love to Fang out. You should get some.
You get a grill, I'd be too dangerous because I already bite
really hard. Yeah.
And so if I had fangs it would be bad.
I'd help you hide the bodies. So where does 1 procure fangs?
At the dentist's office. Yeah, my my family dentist.
You went in and you're like, so Ted?
Well, his name is Clive, Clive. Clive.
He's such a kook and it's in a very kind of conservative area.
He's the family dentist and I went in one day and I was just
like Clive, I want fangs. He goes, your mum would kill me
because we've been going our whole lives and I love the
dentist. I go in every year for my
checkup just so he loves it. Your teeth are perfect.
You do all the right things. All the like, flossing, I do it
all. I'm really OCD with the teeth.
And then I went in and I was like teeth, everything.
OK. Just want to be fair here.
Yeah, OK. And so I went in and I said,
come on. And he goes, It would be my
privilege because he's never done anything like this and he
is a kook. And he made them and at the
start I got them years and years ago, they were just baby fangs.
And then I came in like 8 months later and I was like, you need
to make them bigger. You need.
To grow the fangs. Yeah, we need to drop them.
And now you're can I just ask a makeup question because you're
bawling in full like, you know, shadow and this and that, right?
So how do you get your look long lasting through sweat?
I just love. I'm not a big, big sweater.
OK, so you're a. Sweat.
Still don't sweat. I've always said that.
Yeah, but you've got big sweaty size 13 feet.
OK, Caitlin Dark, please tell the people how they can find you
online if they don't already know.
At Cattlepillar, I know it's a bad the Instagram, the Instagram
handle thing, but it stems from Caterpillar.
Big Caterpillar. I love it.
CAITLEPILLAR. Amazing.
Cato Pillar, thank you so much. Thank you.
For coming on to this show, it was an extreme ride of pleasure.
Thank you. And we always say adios baby
Jess. Adios, baby.
Adios.