Crazies are fun, but you got to watch out.
And now I'm not talking about fun crazy because let's be
clear, there's a difference between fun crazy and crazy
crazy. I mean, straight jacket crazy.
Yeah, there's a there's a difference.
Yeah. Fun crazy is like, you know,
like us. Yours are eccentric.
Yeah. Eccentric is really nice
eccentric. Kind I like that that's.
A good way to put it. That's good.
Yeah, Yeah. Yeah, like trick, if you go out
with us like something cookie might happen, Yeah.
You guys get into antics and high drinks and shenanigans.
And for sure, 100%. Not crime.
No crying. Not anymore.
No crime. That's what I said, no.
I said, crying. I.
Was like crying I guess. Both no.
I said no crime, not anymore. No.
Do you do crime still? I don't know, do I?
I don't know. I used to be a criminal.
I'm not anymore. I guess I'm not.
No, I'm not. I'm too scared.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We live.
Unless someone's rude, it's like, that's a whole different
ball game and. Then your house might be on
fire. Yeah, that's.
Different. Yeah.
Don't be mean to my friends. Like that's how I feel.
But other than that, it's like everything's fine.
Yeah, you don't usually do criminal activity.
No. Anyways, let's start the show.
Yeah, OK. My friend's hamster died when we
all were sleeping over. Oh no.
When I Oh my God. Literally.
You were. There I was there we woke up and
it was my friend and I were sleeping in her living room and
she was sleeping in her bedroom. You found.
The. Carcass.
We found the dead monster. Yeah.
What?
Do you like knock on the door like and she?
Came out and we were was. It was it, legs up.
I don't it was just not moving. It was just not moving.
And I called my friend out and I was like, Kylie, like your
hamster's not moving. And she's like, Oh my God.
And she started crying and I wasn't saying anything.
I was like trying not to laugh because I was like what the fuck
do I do? This.
Situation and and then she started crying and she said
everything leaves me and then I started laughing.
Yeah. I was like, I was like, what am
I supposed to do in this situation?
And then we found out that hamsters hibernate.
Like, did she throw it out? She buried it.
Oh my God. And then we.
Said Oh my God, that's my. Worst nightmare Hibernate and we
found out after the fact and she was like.
She killed her. She had to read mourn the loss
and she killed it and she killed it.
She basically so everything. Leaves her, she killed.
Buried my hibernating hamster. Does everything leave her or
does she kill everything? Right.
You got to kind of look at the common denominator.
You got to look inward sometimes and.
Be like well. Do I kill?
Things in this case. Killer, you killer.
Yeah, You know, you kind of sent this.
One, and that's tough because usually women aren't killers.
Yeah. Only sports.
What's her name? Eileen.
Yeah, Shout out Eileen. More shout out Eileen.
Yes, girl. Good girl.
Oh, what an icon. I love her and.
A legend, Tallulah. Love your work, love your work.
She wasn't gay. She was.
She didn't love her.
No. Yeah, I don't love her.
Oh, yeah, you too could have had her.
I. Could have?
I think I could have. Do you think I could?
Have. I think you could have
definitely. Really.
Oh yeah, because she likes biker bars.
I feel like you're the like you would be a hot commodity at a
biker. Oh my goodness, Oh my gosh, I I
am attracted to power. I think I would feel really good
with her. Yeah, and like she's, she's a
woman of the people. She did it for the people.
Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah.
She saved them. Those men probably did bad
things. They were raped.
Were they raped her? Said.
I'm pretty sure, yeah. OK.
Well, just saying, I don't know. I don't feel like Eileen Warner
said anything wrong and I love her shout out.
Yeah, I stand by that. Yeah, OK, We're gonna start the
show now again. OK you guys, another incredible,
incredible episode for you. What a sweet treat.
We have the lesbian Princess back here on Pod V dot.
OK is with us today a wonderful content creator ready to give
you her drip, drip, drip sauce. Everybody welcome V dot OK.
Hello. And the audience applauds.
Thank you guys. It has been a minute since you
have been with us, graced our presence.
We just wanted to have a catch up and see what's been going on
in your incredible, incredible life.
You know, I'm sure people see your wonderful content online,
but you know, they don't really dive deep into the mind.
Yeah, and thank God for that. I would lose.
All of my followers. Do you think so?
Yes, 100. Percent.
I don't think so. I feel like there's people that
like, really would die to know what you were thinking.
Really. All of.
Them all the time. They probably pay you if you
were telling. Them, I think you could make
more money, yeah, really, if you opened your mouth more, yeah.
Really. OK, well I'm feeling inspired.
Do you think they can understand how funny you are?
You think I'm funny? Yes.
Yes, yes. I don't know, I honestly think
I'm the most funny when I'm talking to other funny people
because I can just like, go back and forth with them.
It's very easy. To you guys, because you guys
are very funny. That's very sweet.
But on my own, like I don't think I could do stand up or
anything. Being funny on my own, I just
don't know. Do you think that the people
that you date are as funny as you?
Actually, yeah, the people who I choose to date for a long time
have to be really funny. I don't think I've ever dated
someone for a long time that wasn't funny or, like, couldn't
match me. It's all like, I think it's so
hot when someone can like, just like, like rapid fire back and
forth with you. I love that.
Like banter, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if you had to pick between
funny or like supermodel. Funny.
Absolutely funny.
Like a funny gremlin over well. Not a gremlin.
Gremlin's crazy. Gremlin's crazy.
She's. Just trying to see how far.
She was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Funny gremlin versus hot
supermodel that has nothing inside.
I don't want to wait. Is this dating?
Yeah, dating somebody. For an evening.
Oh, for an evening.
And if I can choose between someone funny and a supermodel,
and I only see them for the evening, Yeah, supermodel.
OK, what about dating? Funny, right?
You know what I mean? Longevity.
Yeah. Like, I don't want to date
someone long term that has nothing going on.
I want to be able to talk to somebody.
Yeah, they have to be funny. And what has your dating life
looked like in this past year? Yeah.
Have you have you been dating or have you been what we so
lovingly? Yeah.
Living it up. I've been doing a little bit of
both. It's been very fun.
I've gone through a couple different phases this past year.
I've been the most like avoidant I've ever been in my entire life
and the most like anxiously attached I've ever been in my
life. On separate occasions I've like
fluctuated. Oh yeah.
It's very odd. It's very odd.
I'm usually on one side, but I was.
I've kind of found myself all over the spectrum this year.
How many situation ships? Oh my gosh, not, you know, not
very many long term ones. I would say like, like I would
say maybe, maybe 3. Maybe 3, maybe 3.
Like consistent ones this year. OK, that's, that's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything else has been a bit
of a just a dalliance, you know, just just, you know, just
hanging out. And when you hang out with
someone, I just want to get to the nitty gritty because it's
interesting out here in lesbian land.
Yes, because there are a lot of people that catch feelings
immediately. Yeah.
So when you kind of meet somebody and you're like, I want
to bring you back to my lesbian Princess layer and have my way
with you. Yeah.
If I'm a Princess, wouldn't it be like a castle or?
Short Castle. Castle A.
Super villain. That's what you would like.
It's my layer. Yes, actually, yeah, OK, OK.
Yeah, you would like a layer. When I when they fall into my
trap. When they fall into your trap
and you're like you. When they get stuck in my glue
trap. Yes.
Do you chit chat? Do you chit chat before?
Do you have a pre chat where you're like, hey listen, you're
just my victim for the evening or what?
Did you listen? How do you say it?
OK, I actually have been trying something new this year that I
haven't really done before because I'm casually dating and
I want to do it in like an ethical way that I've I've never
like ethically casually dated before.
I've been a big fan of just like kind of ghosting and like
avoiding, you know, breaking things off or like talking about
my feelings with someone if I wasn't 100% there with them that
I don't want to do that anymore. Okay, nice, I.
Don't think that's very healthy. And not saying that you are, but
shout out to ethical sluts out there.
Yeah, we love you. Yeah, we love you.
We praise you. I'm trying to be an ethical slut
which. Means.
That I very early on. If this is someone that I know
that I want to keep seeing, I will have a conversation with
them and let them know where I'm at, yeah.
You know, intentions or whatever. 100% like also like
what they can expect from me. I'm like, you know, I'm not
looking to build a relationship right now.
I'm not looking for anything long term or serious.
If that's something that you're looking for, all the power to
you. We shouldn't see each other
anymore though, you know, like. And is that because you're not
looking for that currently or you just don't feel it with
them? Oh, good question.
Because here's the thing. Because.
Because the truth is, and I've, I've said this before and I'll
say it again, is that is the chat that I would give to
somebody if I don't feel it with you, but wait, wait, feel it
with you. I'm not going to say that.
Shit, but what if this, what if this and I don't know tell me
this is what goes on but. What I know immediately if I'm
interested in well, but what if it's?
Somebody that you like find really, really, really
attractive, but you think they have like no personality like so
let's say it's a supermodel OK and you and like you know to.
Date shut up. To date, they need a
personality. Models.
Yeah, shut up. Supermodels, shut up.
Supermodels with nothing going on that's.
What I'm saying it's like, so maybe what if it is a supermodel
and you think like, oh, this person has no personality, so
I'm going to be nice and be at the and say we're we're probably
not going to go anywhere with this.
I'm not like if you if you want more than a one night standard,
like we're going to fuck a few times here and there, like
that's what this is. But what if things develop and
you realize they have a personality?
And like you've said this, now you?
Know can that change? This did happen to me one time.
Yeah, like I'm like, it has to be a thing. 100% it can change.
I mean, feel, Yeah, everything is.
Yeah, totally. I mean, it's not set in stone.
I just kind of like to let people know where I'm at.
Currently. Yeah, for the time being, yeah.
So they can know going forward, obviously I'll communicate my
feelings if they change, there's and it's also their job as an
adult to do the same for me. If they don't want to be in a
situation that I'm kind of looking for or like their
feelings change and you know, like they develop feelings and
you have not and I have not, I would expect for them to kind of
like tell me that so we can. Part ways, but they never do.
OK, so this is interesting though they probably.
Think that they can catch you? Of course.
But I have. Been there.
That's what I'm saying. I've been on both ends of the
spectrum this year. I've been, I've been the
avoidant one that was like, I don't want a relationship.
And I've been the anxious one that was like with an avoidant
that was like, yeah, but like you want to date me, right?
Like like you, you said you don't want a girlfriend but like
but it's. Me.
I don't want to be. Special.
Yeah, everyone wants to be special.
I want to be special, and that's the thing.
No, but that's true and that's why I tend to date borderlines
because I like to be favorite person because I feel.
Special SO. But now what?
No, trust me now I get it, I get it.
I'm working on it. But no but.
I'm like, but it's like. But then I guess like at the end
of the day, it's like. It's fun to be favorite person.
But then you can. Sometimes.
People think that you don't. Want it anymore?
Then you have a borderline that is like obsessed with you.
Yeah, and you cannot amicably break up with someone with
borderline. No, it doesn't work like that.
No, no you can't bro. They come back.
They come back themselves. Their own, their own hole.
They will dig their own hole. They come.
Back they always. Do they always do?
That's true. I mean, they do.
Yeah, they do they. Always like.
That shit though, huh? I want to feel special I.
Want to? Feel special.
You love when they break no contact.
Yes, yes, I've been getting in that too.
I've been I've been getting into that too.
Yeah, I love the breaking no contact.
I'm like. I'm like when it's not you like
you thought. You thought of.
It OK, I'm sick. But it's true.
That's true. Sometimes you don't.
That's. True, I cut it.
Sometimes I cut it, but that's what I'm my final straw.
Yeah, yeah, I've cut it. I was going to say, I'm like, I
know. Yep, people that have not
received. And they keep trying.
They keep trying for years. That's tough for them.
Yeah. Yeah.
Like Munchausen, baby, That's exactly.
What I'm talking about? You guys are speaking in code,
right? We have to, but there's a girl,
there's a girl that we have called Munchausen Baby as an ex
of mine and she still she was, you know, still asking about me
through. Like other people.
Months ago, yeah. Wow.
And it's been 4 years you. Don't like that?
No, that one I don't OK you. It comes a point where you do
too many atrocities on me and when you do, when you shit on my
lawn a million times, it's like then it's time for me to move
houses and for you to not know where I live anymore.
This sounds like a figure of speech, but it's I feel like
it's literal what you're saying. I think she means both,
probably. Yeah, I'm sure.
I'm sure she would shit on my lawn.
But. Or maybe she has.
This is a figure of speech she probably has.
Wow. Fascinating.
Pray for me, where do you find these gems?
They find me. Yeah.
Actually correct. I'm not even kidding.
I don't go hunting for this. No, they pick me.
What vibe are you putting out that's like drawing them?
I don't know because I also do that with friendship so it's not
helpful. Okay, I see.
That's why I'm like, if I could identify it, I believe me, I
would tell her, right? But I you suffer.
What vibe is it? I can fix you.
But I don't give that vibe in the beginning.
You don't want it to. Stop either, I don't think.
No, I do, you do, I do. You would want it.
I want peace, to be honest, I feel I want peace like I really
do. I know that like it's fun and
it's exciting, but truly what I yearn for is peace.
Like I really want a stable love that has elements of excitement.
You know what I'm saying? Like, but that's dependable.
But that we can both be fun crazy, not straight jacket
crazy. Like maybe a trip to Mexico on a
weekend or something like. You want eccentric, right?
Yeah. Eccentric.
Not exactly. Yeah.
And like, that is what I'm throwing out into the universe,
yeah. If you got that, do you think
you would get? Bored.
No good question, I want to know.
Because that's happened to me and it wasn't enough, so I went.
Back tell me that but like. If your nervous.
System is used to a certain type of relationship, like one that
is very toxic and very up and down.
Like you get so used to that and you kind of crave it.
So when you're in a really stable relationship, it is like
almost so boring and it almost feels like more uncomfortable
because you're not used to that sort of stability.
So usually people like that will like, sabotage their
relationships. 100. Percent no.
Yeah, I've heard this, but I feel the trick would be to find
the excitement in the bedroom, to be honest.
And if you can put the excitement there, but everything
else is stable, then you found my perfect, like, idea of a
relationship. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
Now if the bedroom was boring and then everything else is
boring. Yeah.
OK. I see.
Then I'm literally then you're bored, then I'm out.
OK. Because I was in a 10 year
relationship. Yeah.
We were for hours. Oh, this is like, great.
I could wake her up at any minute and vice versa.
It was wild and it was just a perfect harm.
Oh, it was Harmony. It was.
Like the whole 10 years, the. Whole 10 years.
Wow. That's magic.
That, that is magic. It was something God, but yeah,
that's that 10 year actually gave me hope to where, you know,
people get married and they're like, Oh yeah, the sex went away
this and that. It's like, Nope.
Doesn't have to. Doesn't have to.
Yeah. And that was our freaky little
space. And then outside of it.
Was like. Normal was normal.
Well, freak. Space, Yeah.
Do you think that? That is a compatibility thing,
like you find a partner where you guys just like match each
other in that or can you like build to have that sort of
relationship? Do you know what I'm saying?
Yes. Can you initiate freak mode in
somebody but? Yeah.
Well, like, well, do you have to like some people if someone's in
a relationship and they're not having that, like they're not
having freak mode, they're not, they don't have the freak zone.
Do you think they can work up to having that chemistry, that
balance in their life? Or do you think that some people
are just like drawn to each other and automatically have
that like? Yeah.
So for me, and I've done a lot of research in the.
Freak University. Literally.
And I graduated, became a professor, you know, things
like. That like, sure, yeah.
If you don't start at a certain level, we can't get to what I
like to call extraterrestrial lesbian activities.
Right Valhalla freak mode. Valhalla is the afterlife.
Wait, no, I like it. Yeah, because if you don't, if
you don't start at a certain level, I've tried it.
So the ones who are super vanilla and they come and
they're like, yeah, I mean, I'm down to try that.
You know, AI don't know. It just has to live inside of
you. A you never get there because
they're, you know, so. And I'm not saying that this is
with everybody. I'm sure there's no teachers.
I mean, yeah. There's great teachers that will
be way more patient, loving, and whatever than I will be for me.
I need you to match a certain level for me to even have desire
to initiate. I would agree with that.
I would agree with that because their confidence also gives you
confidence in the bedroom if someone's like warming up to
something that maybe you're very into.
It's not hot to me. It's not hot when someones not
as confident. You're like teaching.
It takes away the fun. I don't want to teach, I want to
be inspired. I'm looking for.
It's a. Collaboration.
I'm not. It's not a mentorship.
Correct. Right.
That's a good. Way to and I'm looking for a
muse because it what I do as like a top because we know your
switch. I'm top.
So as a top, I need to be inspired by my bottom.
And that's the thing I know like I've given less than stellar
performances when like the bottom doesn't come with the
energy. And when you bring it, I am
going to not only match you, but I am going to.
Level it up totally and then we can go into freak mode.
Nasty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you.
Know what I'm saying? I do.
I do 100. Percent, 100%.
I I do think that some people just have good chemistry off the
bat and you don't have to work on it, but I also do.
I do. Think that you you.
Can work on your sexual chemistry with someone.
It is something that like, it is kind of like a learning curve
with a new partner. Has the situation ship ever
ended up in a relationship for you?
Yeah, yeah, like on accident, yeah.
OK, so that happens because I'm thinking like I know if I want
to be in a relationship with you ASAP.
Like literally probably. You said earlier when I was
like, but what if, like, you think like, oh, this person has
no personality. I just want to fuck them.
And then all of a sudden it's like, wait, I actually think
this person is pretty. But that was before we even
fucked. Like I had judged them and then
I'd actually fucked them and we spent an evening together and
so. But that's.
Yeah. I guess.
But what's it called when you like, you like something more
because you spend more time with it?
Yeah, there's a, there's a. That doesn't happen with me.
Well, it does. It happened.
It does happen where I like you even more, but I have to like
you at a certain level. Same with sex, same with
personality. Like we either get each other or
we don't. And I know off RIP.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's never been one person that you thought like I'll never
date them. And then I did.
You did. My first situation, but that was
before I knew I was a lesbian. Yeah.
That's weird. I don't know.
Because for me, it's like it's, I don't know, it's a animal
thing. That must be really, that must
be really easy. I feel like I get talked into
stuff. That's the that's the part of me
that gets gaslit is I feel like I can get.
Talked into stuff. Whoa.
What do you mean by that? I've definitely stayed in
relationships with people that I didn't want to date in the 1st
place, but they were so, like, again, they had their hooks so
deep in my brain that I ended up like living with them, you know
what I mean? And like, we had this long
relationship and it was awful. And I, I was like, I love you,
but I don't even think I like you.
Like what? Like, but they were so
manipulative, you know, and like, just draining, yes.
Draining me. Yeah, yes.
I'm sure it's been set on here before but anyone who says that
like dating women is easier is fucking idiotic.
From what I've. Heard on it.
Oh my God, women have a way of just getting into your head and
digging their claws in and not fucking letting go.
I Oh my God, women are so smart. I mean, maybe this is just
because I'm gay, but there is no way a man could emotionally
destroy me the way that a woman could I I.
I'm married to 1 and I can promise you that you're right,
right there's not. Let's talk about it.
So in your like most broken place, how many months or years
did it take you to kind of pull yourself up to get your bearings
again? It's taken me years to get over
somebody who was really like harmful in a relationship to me.
Like just really like not to bring up trauma, but very
traumatic. And for some reason, it was like
really hard to get over her because of all the stuff.
Because you were traumatized. Yeah, totally.
And body keeps scored. Yes, it does.
And I, I could not, I could not shake it.
And it wasn't even like that. I wanted her.
It was just like I she couldn't. She had left such, such an
impression on me. And that made me so mad because
she was off doing her thing. And I had to deal with all this
shit that she threw on to me, awful, awful.
And that lasted for years. Like I, I still will talk about
stuff from that relationship in therapy and it's just going to
take a long time. But even some like really short
situation ships have fucked me up more than like long term
relationships, you know? And I'm sure people have talked
about that too. No, I'd love to get into that.
I've heard that people believe that this is because like you
never saw it out to its full potential.
So you're stuck thinking like what it could have been.
It's like a, it's a very like what if situation.
So like the long term relationship, like you tried it
out and you guys have worked things, you've worked things out
and you've talked things through and you've kind of, you kind of
came to a, an end point. Yeah.
But for these short term things, you usually don't have those
periods of like talking about it, working through it, like
understanding each other on a deeper level to try to like grow
together. And then, you know, you break up
and it's like, Oh my God. Like we could have been so good.
You know, we could have, we could have been this, we could
have been that. Like, why didn't it?
Yeah, why didn't it go well? Do they give you an explanation?
I mean, yes. So what's like one of the
explanations that you've gotten? I feel like she breaks it.
Off you feel like she does Yeah, I feel like.
It's. I mostly am.
I mostly am, but one of my one of my biggest crash outs was
someone who broke things off with me.
Like sobbing on the ground, grabbing my hair, like screaming
at 2:00 in the morning. Like like.
So like so so cut up about this girl.
Because you cared for her, or you won't, or you weren't used
to like being left. Well, this is.
OK, this is some tea. So it's that.
It's definitely that. It's definitely that.
And you know what? It's.
It was like the little. Like no one ants me, yeah.
No one leaves me. But it was like, it was like
such a harsh rejection wound that was like, I don't hate
saying triggered, but like. No activated.
Almost, you know, because she was super avoidant and that
brought out like me being super anxiously attached.
And so I really wanted to prove myself to her and I really
wanted her to choose me and care for me and open up to me and be
vulnerable and then get it. She never did.
And I was like, it's my fault. You know what I mean?
Like it's on me. Even though like she never said
it was me. She, you know, she was very
transparent. It was like, I was like, Oh my
God, like this is my fault. Like it's, I'm falling short
somewhere, you know, because I couldn't get this person to love
me how I wanted them to. Terrible, terrible.
And also and also not true. No.
She's so not. True avoidance and and I can't
fault her because she was very transparent about that from the
start, which is what I'm trying to do now.
OK, so again, I've been on both ends of the spectrum where she.
Took a page out of her book. I did well.
Now I'm looking back. I'm looking back at what she was
saying and I was like, she did everything right.
I was just the crazy one that was like, but you want me right?
Like you want me right? I was the crazy one.
I could be too. I would be.
You know. Also, like, you're not used to
that. Like you're the one that's
ending it. So it's like, you know, like.
I'm usually the one that's ending it.
It usually is on my terms. And then if it's not, it's like,
it's like the deepest, the deepest wound.
Question, when you're in these situations, ships when you know
that they have fallen for you, but they're not saying anything.
Yeah. Do you mention it to them?
Or do you just say, well, they're an adult, so they should
say something to me or I'm just going to have to take them at my
word because sometimes you talk to these lesbians and you're
like, it seems as though like, this has happened to me.
It seems as though you have developed feelings.
And if that's the case, we probably should stop doing this.
And then they go, no, no, no, no, no, we should not stop doing
this. That's not the case, blah blah,
but in your heart you know it's a lie and then you're faced with
the crossroads. Do I believe them as an adult or
do I go with my instincts and break it off?
No, unless you want to. That's on them.
So what do you think? I'm AI am a pretty strong
believer in you know you're an adult, you can set your own
boundaries for yourself. You know your emotions far
better than I can interpret them.
So like it is not my job to set your boundaries for you.
However, I've been in their position where I will take
someone in whatever form they give me that in.
So I would say that if I'm noticing a pattern of their
words not really lining up with their actions, where they're
saying like, oh, like, I'm cool with this being casual.
I'm cool with doing what we're doing.
But like, they're getting jealous or like they're getting
upset when I'm not really texting them as much or I'm not
seeing them as often or, you know, this.
Then the other thing then that to me is kind of an indicator
that like, OK, we are on different pages.
Yeah. And then at that point, when
I've noticed a pattern, I feel like it is my responsibility
because they're clearly not doing anything about it.
And I can tell that there's a difference in.
They're kind of. At like, what's it called like
when you're addicted to something?
Like addicted I guess. That's what I was going to say.
Yeah, it's addicted, I guess. What is?
For 700. I guess, I guess it's like,
yeah, well, I guess that's what I'm trying to describe.
I'm like, you really just don't have like they'll just do
anything. You can't quit it, Stockholm.
Like, no, no, you're right. It's it's literally addicted.
What is that? You're right, it's addicted.
And I'm like, what is addicted? It's addicted.
That's what I meant. OK, Yeah.
So it's like, I guess it's your. I mean, it could be your
responsibility. I'm a serial monogamist and
that's why I'm trying to be so casual with my dating right now
and not lock down with anybody because I just hop from
relationship to relationship. What's the quickest that you've
gotten into a relationship with another lesbian?
Oh my God. Well, relationship or like I
mean I've had a. Relationship.
I've had a relationship. Oh fuck.
Well, I mean, I don't know. I mean I I would break up with a
long term girlfriend and then probably hook up with someone
the next day and. I'm a lesbian, I've realized.
Is that? That's all I've ever done.
That's like all I've ever. Done that a lot when I was when
I was younger. No, that's not crazy.
I do that. Don't feel shame about it.
Gasped and paused. I related.
I'm like, I'm sorry, I think
it's pretty normal. The best way to get.
Over somebody is to get under somebody.
Else my mother used to say this. Talk about this for real,
because you know. What the man?
Words no, but this isn't but this is for real.
And actually this happens to me is that you mask it right?
So you break up and you're like, Oh my God, too much pain.
Too much pain. And I, you immediately go and
dive into another muff. Yeah.
And but it's just masking. And for that immediate moment,
at least this is what happens for me.
It feels wonderful, blah, blah, blah.
And then you realize, like, I don't want this person.
And then they go away. And then you are left with the
feelings and emotions that you never dealt with.
And then you actually have to deal with it.
And that is a world of pain that I know I wasn't ready for.
And then it finally hits you and you're like holy fuck.
You can't avoid it. You.
Can't avoid it. And you can, you can literally
parade on Instagram like you are so happy and this and this and
that, but it's just not true. Yeah.
Like you have to deal with the pain of a breakup and you can
avoid and avoid and you can get under somebody else, but it's
like it's going to be there as soon as it hits you again.
Yeah, the only way I've been able to fully get over somebody
is by, I feel like. Overall, this is considered
avoiding, but I have to. I'm talking to.
One, yeah, we're avoidance. Me fucking too, but.
I've genuinely gotten over people by just pretending like
they never existed. Yeah, are you kidding?
My whole life. I am never 1 to stalk someone's
Instagram profiles. I'm never one to like make a
fake account and like go and check and keep tabs on them
because that. I do it for my friends.
That's well of course, cuz. You have no emotional attachment
to that I. Literally like if I like.
Speak good, you can be a little. Spy.
That's fine. I decide this goes for
friendships too. Like if I decide it's over, it's
over. I.
Agree. But but I'm not again, it's like
full circle because it's like it's not one of those things
where it's like we were talking this earlier where it's like,
I'm gonna be so fucking mean to you like that.
No, you just don't exist to me like this person that I've said
that we've been I've been talking to again, it's been like
4 year. No, like I guess 2 1/2, three,
almost three years and like I have no problem like when she.
Did let her back. Yeah, like, it's totally fine.
Like, that's OK. But like, when I decide it's
over and it's over, it's like, I'm not reaching out to you.
I'm done. Yeah, I'm done.
Yeah, I'll let you know how I feel and I'm done.
And like, you know what, Maybe we revisit it in three years
with like, a friendship or like whatever it is, I'm OK to do
that. But you'll always kind of be
like at an arm's length for me. I think that I have to be done.
Over it, Yeah, That's, you know. That time, genuinely, you get
over it, yeah, you get over it by not revisiting it, by not
reopening that wound. And like you, you, you
genuinely. Because it's shut.
Off I'm able to do like if they communicate later, I'm like
yeah, whatever, yeah fine. But I think it is that shutting
it off. I completely agree.
I've, I've kind of like gone back and forth with myself on
that and like, you know, in some ways.
I feel like I should be able to, like, see someone's face and,
like, deal with that pain that I feel looking at them.
But I also feel like that kind of sets me back.
So I need, I need, I need lots of time away.
I need to pretend like you don't exist.
So by the time I see your face again, it is such a far away
emotion. Yeah.
Like, it's not even a thing anymore.
And that to me is like, I've gotten over it.
Put it in a box. Baby, that's what I do.
Yeah, put it in a box. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I don't know if this is healthy
or not. I don't know.
I don't know, I'm usually able to do that.
I put things in a box. It's probably easier to work
through those emotions when they're not so heightened as
well. Like you, I agree with that.
You can revisit those old relationships once you can look
at it objectively and not. The sting is gone. 100% yeah.
So you can be like, OK, why did this happen?
You can look at it and be like, OK, well they rejected me in
this way or I felt this way with them.
And you can look at it more like a like a problem you need to
solve in a way to learn more about yourself, but you can look
at it more objectively. It's hard when you're in it.
Yeah. Friendships, my gosh, chips,
anything. It's so even like a shitty job.
Yeah. It's like so hard to see things
when you're fucking in it. And it's like once you get that,
step away. But sometimes I feel like it
could be months that it's like you have to step away from
something to that, like, gain. I mean, years, yeah.
Like some kind of clarity. But the sting has to leave
before you can. I do believe it's like
completely shutting somebody off is like the day that like you
can begin to heal. I agree hard.
I agree. OK, OK.
I'm feeling validated. OK.
I'm also crazy so I don't. Know yeah, you all the wrong
ones. 3 crazy bitches yeah. It's like I'm actually, you
know. What?
Well, yes, well, like that is exactly.
Put it in a box in a box like it never existed.
Put it in a box like you. Never.
Feel like they're just like, wow.
It's. Going in the vault?
Yeah, it's going in the vault. Yeah, absolutely.
I don't know, it works for me. It's.
Just kind of a it's kind of a lot of deep conversations, right
We. Always we always, we always go
where the wind takes us. OK, what is the craziest thing
somebody's done to like, try and keep you in this situation,
Chip? Oh, like what?
It has been like the Hail Mary of like, no.
You're not leaving? Yeah.
What? Hail.
Mary Yeah. Like you're not leaving.
And then they do. Does a romantic date do it for
you or are you like Oh no I'll yuck Pew?
Well, is this OK? Like a present to me.
Hail Mary is. Diamonds.
I'm like 1 foot out the door like they know I'm leaving.
They know they're they know you're leaving.
What are they doing to what are they like?
What's the craziest thing? I know there's good ones.
No. No one I've dated has made more
money than me. Whatever.
I've always made more money than people I've dated.
Always. Like literally always.
I don't think I've dated a single person ever in the
history of my life that has made more money than me.
OK, somebody. Your sugar Mama I.
Love being sugar Mama. If I am obsessed with you, I
will literally be like, here's my card, let's go shopping, buy
whatever you want. What?
Yes, 100%. I love doing that.
My love language is gift giving. I fucking I love it so much.
I'm such a like if you bring up like, oh, this is my favorite
animal. Every time I see a stuffed
animal that is that favorite animal, I'm buying it and I'm
giving it to you like I'm thinking of you.
I'm terrible with like with like telling people how I feel.
So I will just buy them whatever they need.
You need your car fixed. I will fucking pay for it like.
When I was rent. Right.
I will pay for your rent. Like, if I'm obsessed with you,
head over heels for you. I will like, like, spend my last
dollar on you. Yeah.
I will, agreed I will. I'm back.
So I was dating this girl. We were together for three years
and she had no job and whatever. So I sat her down and I was
like, OK, you have to figure out what you want to do, I'll help
you. And, you know, we kind of, like,
figured out some stuff that she wanted to do.
She was like, OK, I want to become a Barber.
I remember. I said OK, great, I'll put you
through Barber school. So I paid Barber school OK, And
I said I bought her a car. I remember.
I gave her everything OK and I but this was under the premise
and she lived with me and I like paid for everything.
But I said once you are like done with everything, your your
first paycheck first is going to go to pay for the car and then
whatever and then you're going to live as an adult.
You have to be an adult now. Well, it's not a.
Loan, but like essentially once you start making money you take
over the payments. OK, I see what you're saying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you can, When you can, you.
Will. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so finally, after I don't even know how long it was, it
must have been like a year. I was going to say cosmetology
is a year. I put it through the quick
route, I think it was like 7 months.
Well, no, no, no, the minimum, the fast route is one year so.
And I know because I fucking have.
So it was like a year though, and then she had to pass the
test and then the whole thing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
So she passed it and then she found a job and the first
paycheck comes and I said to her, OK, it's your car.
Like it's time to pay the car. And she looks at me and she
goes, I'm not going to pay the car.
And I said, I'm sorry, what? And she said, yeah, I want a
fucking tattoo. And I looked at her.
You're like after all I've done. And this is when you know,
you're done. You're done.
Yeah. And so I looked at her and I go,
it's not a problem. Get out of my house.
Get out of my house, I go. You get the fuck out of my
house. Hey.
No worries, I said this not a problem.
Pack your shit. You can go and go go buy your
tattoo. Was she like, no.
And then she literally preyed on my Latino family's good graces
and literally begged my aunt to house her.
Oh yeah. And so my aunt and Christian,
who's a Christian woman literally housed her for another
year. You couldn't get rid of her.
We couldn't get rid of her. She it'd be like Christmas was
coming and she'd just be there. And I was like, this is the
Nightmare on Elm Street. Like I could not.
I was like and. It was the most horrific.
There's actually nothing worse. There's nothing worse when
you're just done because somebody has like savagely taken
advantage of you. And then guess what?
She's found a loophole. She's found a loophole, and I
always do. And now she's at the family
functions. There's they're con artists.
She's living in her. Auntie a little.
In my aunt's house and they call me to be like, hey, guess what?
So and so's going to be at the family function your Sunday.
And I go, no, she's not. And you're going to tell her
she's not going to be there. Right now, she has no fans.
Why would that be that they said they can't see no one here?
How could you be so rough with? We are not, we are not the ones.
You're not welcome here either, I said.
So you went. She was there.
Yes, I know. And I I would just and I would
like go to the side and I go. You are using a good family like
you are. Was she like, and she was like,
I I, you know, I don't know what bullshit.
Yes. She was like, you kicked me off.
Like I was like, this is crazy, OK.
Well, I just asked. More yet.
Can I just ask? Can I just ask without?
Where's she now? Yes, I don't know.
She like unfollowed me. For now.
But my family still follows her. She doesn't have family, she
doesn't have anybody. She's coming, she does.
You have a nice. New Year, she does have family.
She has no family. She told them she doesn't.
It's Christmas. It's Christmas.
Brother, it was the wildest shit ever to like go and have her be
there and just be like and they're like, she's so.
Nice. You don't have to be nice and.
She is. She seems nice, like she seems
like such. A sweet girl.
Oh my God. I have a question.
I don't know if you have to get this out.
Is it the the Jetta? Yeah, I put her on the fucking
note to get her credit up. You did.
It for her. That's why you have the Jetta.
I literally did it because I was like, your credit is shit.
And you need help and you. Need help.
So I put her fucking name on and now you have a Jetta and now I
have a fucking Jetta. I'm.
Starting to agree with you that you should be dating.
Yes, like a caliber up like something, I get it.
My dad told me that when him and my mom were first dating for her
birthday, he got her all new tires for her car.
And I think about that all the time because I'm like, I would
love if someone did that for me. I like gifts like that because
it's very like, it's useful. It's stuff.
Yeah. It's a practical gift.
I love a. Practical.
I love a practical gift. Some people get very offended.
You know what I would love? A vacuum cleaner.
I because listen the older my. Job and I love it but.
The. Older I get, the more practical
the gifts I want get because I'm like, I don't want to spend
money on that. Yes, and it's.
Like if I want something fun I'll buy it for myself at this
point. Correct?
But like, I have not. I've never had an air fryer.
So for Christmas this year I asked my parents for an air
fryer and it's my favorite gift that they got me is an air
fryer. Yeah, or like a great shower
head. Oh my God no.
I always date people that have way less money than me and like
one year I was dating this girl that had no job and shocking you
know, it's typical. But she had asked me what I
wanted for Christmas and I said socks because I know I'm not
gonna buy myself socks. No, you're not.
And I said socks and washcloths and the washcloths weren't even
for me. It's because I don't use
washcloths. But I was like, every time you
come over you ask for a washcloth and I have like 3.
Like you use a loofah or something.
No, you just do my hand. OK, I have to actually tell you
something. I was told by a dermatologist
that that's actually the cleanest way.
Yes. Because it is loofahs and stuff.
Harbor. Harbor pathogens and things like
that. Yeah, I can't Dead.
Skin, yes. So I just go hand.
Yeah, everywhere Should you should Sorry, no, that's fine.
Shout out you know be use hands someone.
Will throw your things out, you know, ask my dermatologist.
But she requested, you know, these what are the hand towels?
And so I was like, get hand towels so that when you come
over and bathe to hear it, I don't have to hear about it.
And then also I can shut the fuck up.
Yeah, like, yeah, right. I don't want to have to launder.
The Happiers. No, I just I.
That would be the best gift if you would shut the fuck up.
Right, right. For yourself.
Forget me, just shut up. I like that.
Quit. Myself, a nice Christmas.
Gift that's actually very thoughtful of.
You. I thought so, I said.
The washcloths and socks. So one for me, one for you, and
honestly, we're not talking about a great expense here.
No. You know what is it 1299 for a
roll of 10 you've. Actually really never asked for
anything from any like that. I've seen Valentine's Day,
birthday. I mean, you name it, you didn't
get it. I got Christmas one time.
Once, Yeah, Yeah. I think it's because they have
no money. Oh, they find money for other
things, don't they? Who?
Listen, dog. All right, I think it's time we
take a break. Yeah, dude, I'm terrible.
I think it's time for an odd break.
Listen dog, I'm just saying you deserve gifts too.
I would like gifts I would I don't even need.
What do you call it? Monetary gifts you'd like like
a. Sticky note even I feel like I
like. A poem would be great like that.
Bad. No, it's.
Cute like a sticky note with like, like, I don't know, around
the house. I feel like you would probably.
Or even if you. Sticky notes are cute.
You love sticky notes. Or even if you like, I don't
know, took my card and bought groceries and like, made dinner.
Yes, acts of service. That's acts of service.
I love that too. Anything acts.
Of service, it's very thoughtful.
You know like or like cleaned your place for you.
Yeah, like tidied up your place for you, made your bed, left a
little No. Yes, clean.
Love that. Oh, that's.
Stuff. Cute, very cute acts of service.
So how are masks in these departments for you in the acts
of Service? I have dated.
Some people who are very, very thoughtful.
And. The ones you were in love with.
Yes, the ones I I was in love with.
Yeah, but this? Yeah.
I well, yeah, My, my long term relationship.
She was very thoughtful, very, very sweet.
You know, it's weird because receiving acts of service and
like gift giving and stuff like that, like receiving someone's
love language from them when you're not fully into them
doesn't really hit and it makes me feel kind of guilty.
Do you know what I'm saying? Yes.
Do you know what I mean? Yes.
Because I, I can tell that they're, they're giving a lot to
me and to me. Like, obviously I appreciate it.
Obviously I appreciate it. But it would hit a lot more if
it was from someone that I was like, oh, I wish they would do
this and they do it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's why I asked. Like, do you get it from the
people that you're like, madly in love with?
I have, I've had, I've had good relationships where they were
very attentive and very sweet and very good to me.
But. You're usually daddy.
I usually take care of everything and I usually like it
that way. I usually like it that way.
But like I said, I've I've never dated someone who made more
money than me. And I think I like the the
bigger, like the grand gestures and like the the gift giving and
stuff. I don't think I've dated someone
who like was able to match. That.
Do you think that that would feel comfortable for you?
This is something that my therapist asked me.
It was really interesting. So she's like, do you think that
like you feel comfortable in that like power position and
that's why you choose these types of partners?
And I was even open a fucking Christmas gift without feeling
uncomfortable so like, I don't know.
Like for me receiving gifts is uncomfortable but I want it.
I do kind of get that, yes. Yes, but when it happens, it's
uncomfy. Yeah, or even singing Happy
Birthday. I am like my head, like I.
Feel guilty, I feel, I feel, I hate.
Being the center of attention, yeah.
I feel like I'm like, Oh my God, this was way too much money to
spend on this. But that might be a self esteem
thing. I know what you're probably.
Right where it's like, I it like it.
It all kind of tracks back to like, I don't deserve this.
Yes, 100. Percent, you know what I mean?
You're like, and you're and you're kind of giving that love
because you want to show people you know that they deserve it.
Yes. Probably because you want that
back. Yeah, yeah.
So have you ever given a gift and you didn't get a thank you?
I'd flip a table. Well, I want to thank you.
I want to feel. Appreciated and I want to feel.
I want to feel appreciated, like I did a good job.
Too. Yeah, I like the good.
Job. I love a good job.
I really am. I love a good job.
Me too. But that's why when I'm like
mating and in bedroom activities, like it's really
hard to do it with like the silent partners who like give no
feedback when you're like I. Can't be cheered on.
Yeah, those are, those are no return for me because for me the
sounds that you're making are like my good job.
Sounds like when you say like fuck back, that's what you're
explaining. Right, this is exactly what it
is. Just clarifying there has.
To be you. Know a dance and you have to be
dancing with me, and audible noises are a part of that dance.
It's my good job, yeah. I'd love a good job.
I live for a good job. Love some praise, you know, I
love to know that what I'm doing is worth both of our times.
Yes. Question, do you have straight
friends? Do you know any straight people
in the universe? No, my parents are straight I
think. Zero straight friends because
you do a lot of rave content, like it's a part of your content
that you do. And there's so many straight
people at these raves. Yeah, and I'm sure there's
millions of people that think that you're their friend.
Well, yes, well, yeah. Sure.
You don't consider them. You don't consider them.
A point. Wait, no, of course I have
straight friends. Of course I have straight
friends. OK, I have plenty of straight
friends. I will say that most of the
women who gravitate towards me, if they are straight, they are
probably also like a little bit gay.
They want to have sex with you. No, not well.
All right. Well, you know, that's that's.
Probably that's their business I.
Think that's up to you. We don't ask.
We don't ask, but I also think that being an openly gay person,
people who are questioning tend to kind of gravitate towards me.
So people who are straight but like maybe thinking that they're
gay kind of probably want to get closer to me and, you know, not
to have sex with me, but just to kind of be like, you're a gay
person. Like what is that like kind of
thing? You know what I mean?
Cuz when I was younger and I saw other gay people, I was like,
what's going on with you? Yeah, but that was a magnet.
You know what's that all about? Because I you know, it's just
you're trying to learn, you're trying to observe.
And now these straight people that are gravitated towards you
straight women, do you fuck any of?
Them, you know, I don't think I've ever fucked a straight
woman. Ever.
I don't think so I've. If you're having like sex with
another woman and you're a woman, then like, you're by
right? So you're just you.
You could be queer, you could be anything.
You could be curious. But you're not.
But you're not straight. You're not straight if you're
like, OK. So that's my question.
That's why I don't. Understand, although you could
be if you're curious after you lick a labia and you're like,
oh, that isn't for me. I really am straight.
So you don't, I don't know, TBD. Oh, I guess that's a pretty good
way to describe it because I'm like, I just don't really
understand, but I guess that's a good way to.
Like how you, how you conclude, Yeah, where you, where you like?
You could be curious. You're definitely curious.
Yeah, yeah. I don't think 1 interaction
makes you one way or another either.
You know, yeah, I think, I think.
Plenty of people try a bunch of stuff out and then they're like,
that was from, that was for me, that wasn't for me.
And then, you know, you kind of, yeah, so curious that's based
off that or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a spectrum, we say. Oh, totally.
Yeah. So OK.
I would I would also say that the majority of people that I
have what you say like made-up, mated with, mated with have been
more masculine and usually when they're masculine presenting,
they are pretty gay. Yeah, they've already figured it
out. They've figured it out.
Through the process. Although I have hooked up with
mask people who have cheated on me with men.
They cheated, Yeah. Wait.
OK 'cause this is also so fascinating to me.
So OK, mask maters of yours cheated on you with men.
I mean you are top daddy so. You know.
If they're bottom masks and they like to take strap.
It's pretty. Are you strapping these bitches
down? You know.
OK, so you are. If they want me to, it's not,
I'll be honest, it's not where I shine.
It's not where I shine. God gave me two straps right
here. OK, Hand.
Straps. I've been bouldering a lot.
My forearms are getting stronger and stronger by the day.
Ladies, hit me up. You let me know.
You know, I've been bouldering a lot.
But if they, if they want me to, I will.
Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not, I'm not
reaching for it. You will oblige.
Why? Do you say you don't shine in
it? What do you think you can do
better in the strap arena? I just my, I'm just, I'm just
white. I just have.
Tighten the hips. I'm tighten.
You tighten the hips and then your swing isn't there.
I'm Caucasian and I don't have rhythm in my hips like I'm a bad
dancer. Me too.
I think that shows in my strap game.
This is such a good question. OK, do you I?
Can lay down with the strap on and they can and they can do
whatever they want. Sure, ride the pony.
That I can. I can shine there.
OK. And so I can match them.
Do you find that there's a different hip motion with
different ethnicities as a strap fever?
I'm sorry. Whoa.
Like the whites aren't as talented as other ethnicities in
the strap giving. I've had some, I've had some
white masks bounce on it crazy style, if I'm being so honest
with you, like unprovoked just. Well, as receivers or as givers?
Bouncing on it while I'm wearing it.
OK, no, but I'm talking about givers when you're when you're
receiving strap. When I'm receiving strap, yes.
Oh, who's better? Who's better at the at the pump
motion? Are the whites bad?
Are the whites bad at the pump motion of a strap?
No, I've had some pretty good ones.
I'm trying to think of bad ones that I've had.
And if they're white? Just wondering.
Yeah. It's hard to ask.
No, I've had I've had some pretty good ones that are that
are white, but that's how I know that they're sluts is because
they got they've got the practice, you know, because I'm
like, I know it's not in your blood to have this rhythm.
You've practiced this. You've perfected.
This it's cooked here. Someone fucking.
Many, many cooked. Right, right.
I'm getting strapped and I'm like, who was she?
Do you get upset when you know that they've cooked a lot?
No, I hope that they have, because then I benefit from
that. Yes, I agree.
From that, that's a good outlook.
I benefit from that. But it could be a double
standard because if you have cooked a lot, sometimes you know
people have double standards. A lot.
So I can't. I can't.
I can't talk shit. I can't talk shit.
No, I respect that because we have had guests who have cooked
a lot and don't like it when they're cooked.
Cooked, yeah. No, I think it's better when
we've both cooked because then we're both professional chefs,
we both know what to do in the kitchen.
That's shamans of the game. Shamans of the sport.
I've mastered. The Lesbian dark arts.
Of course, yes, of course. Hey and buy the Wrong Sauce
merch. It's available now on Wrong.
Saucepodcast.com. Yes, modeled by yours truly,
Yes, correct. Correct.
Modeled by the incredible V dot OK.
Yes, I love when I love when someone's someone has cooked.
You like a hoe? I do like a hoe.
I love a beloved member of the community because they know what
they're doing. And again, it's a collaboration
on a mentorship. So like, I want someone who can
match me, you know, who knows what they're doing.
And I want to walk someone through stuff like, I don't mind
telling someone what to do, you know, in the bedroom.
I think you should at first. I think that like I think.
You should at first, but I also know that people who are very
experienced, they'll just try stuff out until yes, until they
can tell that you like it. That's the common tell someone's
experience. It's like you don't really have
to direct them because they'll just kind of like run through
it. And they say, yeah, Oh yeah.
Compare it to when you are a bank robber and you go into I'm
done, dude, pussy robber. And you go into the safe, Yeah,
you know, and you have a pic lock, right?
There's multiple combinations that you can try, and one of
those is going to open the lock, Yes, but you have to try several
different things. But you only have a limited
amount of time, so you have to be good.
Yeah, at your craft. You have to know where to hit.
You have to know. You have to try every, you have
to educate a guess, but like different spots and you know,
like here's my road map. I know that I could do this,
this, this, this, this and this, and one of these is going to
open or maybe a combo is going to open the safe, yes.
Your brain is so magnificent. What?
Yeah. No, that's the perfect way to
describe it. And you know what?
Only Michelin chefs can do that. And only and when when you can
tell when someone's a Michelin chef, when they can, they can
run through the different locks. And and everyone is different
because and it's so complicated, but I love it.
I love it every time to figure out like, because it's almost
like it is, yeah. It's a puzzle.
It's like twist your sudoku, Sudoku, whatever.
This is my favorite. And it's like, oh, left hand
red, right hand green and then foot over here and then this and
that and then right, right, right.
And then you're like, OK. Still got.
It and that's a new thing actually.
And this has only happened 30s and up where I'm like, oh, OK,
cuz you perfect the different explosions because there's
internal external. There's a a million different
ways actually that a a woman can climax and you want to get all
of them in in a session if you know for fun.
Yeah, wow. I don't know if I've ever had
all of them in a single session. That's crazy.
I definitely haven't. Oh, that's crazy.
That is crazy. Really.
Yeah. Oh, that's like, that's the
goal. You need to teach a class.
You do need to teach a class. I believe that.
It's incredible. See, I thought that that was
like, it was like person by person.
I thought only some people can. I think that people just haven't
pushed themselves far enough because I can squirt.
Well, yeah, I mean me, me too. But not everyone has made me
the. No, not everybody has made me
either, because they don't. There's there's some people who
they just like, they do it all the time.
Like that's yeah, yeah, they can just.
Do that, mine's not listen. It takes It takes a second for
me to like not a second, but it takes a while for me to get
there. But it can be achieved.
Yeah, yeah, I would agree. I would agree for.
Me there are certain, so there's.
I believe this. I'm telling you there's certain
spots and certain combinations to the lock.
I believe it. I absolutely believe.
It and I'm telling you per the market research, but that's only
happened later in my life where I'm like got it.
Interesting. You're a master, you're a Max.
I'm just really passionate with the craft.
You're a Michelin chef. I agree with that.
You've earned your stars. But the only time it won't
happen is somebody who's very, very sexually repressed.
Sexually repressed how? So like I fucked a girl who like
had to keep her shirt on. Yeah, let's yeah.
So like that girl, you can't. Fully relax.
You can't get you can't get her there.
Yeah. Yeah, that's true.
So. Much of it is relaxing to be
able to like, enjoy, yes, I've found for myself anyway, I don't
know. But like any true slut, you can
take there. I think so.
That's a fact. I think so.
Any true slut you can take there?
Oh. Yeah, that's like fucked.
And it's and. A true slut is someone who just
goes buck wild. Just no, no, no.
Wild had like, a lot of practice and like, you know, it's like
fucked a lot, Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
OK. Yeah.
Well, I haven't fucked that much.
But yeah, I'm not saying that it doesn't happen with the other
ones. Yeah.
But I think that I, I really, I do, Yeah.
I don't know. I think it's being comfortable
with yourself. I think so much of it is that
totally. And when I say yourself, I mean
like your sexuality, like being OK with it, like everything.
I don't know. But it takes, I think that that
takes work too, because I do know people that are similar to
the shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah, me too.
You know, what's interesting, though, is I held a class.
It was interesting because I was like, I don't know, you know,
maybe this is just me and the things that I sense, you know,
because I can sense ovulation in a woman.
Oh yeah, you're. I'm not even, that's not I'm not
joking. No, I, I, I hear you.
How do you do that? Like a.
Wool. It's a texture.
What? Inside.
Yes, my, it's so fascinating that can.
I get a can I get a number like ballpark?
What do you mean? For your body count.
Oh, it's not crazy. So I'm a relationship girl.
Oh, so like so really I. Figured that you have figured
out all of this stuff because of long term relationships.
Yes, and really practicing with one person.
Correct, This is not so. This is not because I was like.
One night stands. A1 night stand girl.
This is because I literally like, was there with one person
and we were like perfecting everything.
And then I took those skills and then would have other
experiences and I was like, oh, this can translate.
And then, yeah. Because I'm like, there's no way
that you were able to figure out when a woman is ovulating unless
you're with the same woman. And you guys were like, you
know, yeah. Obviously different.
So what's crazy is I've only figured out ovulation in the
past five years. You collect things.
You collect things along the way.
And so in the past five years, it's like, I've noticed.
I was like, ah, I notice the difference in the texture and
this and that. And then, you know, I was having
sex with that girl the other day and I went in and I was like,
oh, you're ovulating. How funny.
And she was like, what the fuck? I am ovulating.
How do you know that That's psychotic?
And I was like, I can tell in a second.
I'm magic. No, yes, I'm not magic.
Said that. That would be freaky.
Yeah, maybe not. That would be freaky witch,
Yeah. Don't say it.
I was fucking the witch, yeah. Don't say it.
Yeah. Are you fucking a witch?
Yeah, she's a real witch. Real.
I'm afraid of her. Actually.
I like her. I'm afraid of her.
I like her. Like literally the last person
that did her dirty is bald and Oh my God.
And do you remember so OK, so I have to tell you this.
So I helped her move because we're friendly now, OK?
And I'm telling you, this is the most fucked up story.
I loved it. She was like, oh, go to my
bathroom and put these things in this box.
This is the witch. And I looked there and and then
I see that there's a jar below the sink where I'm supposed to.
And I look at it and all of it says in Sharpie is body.
It says, I love it. It says body.
And she just runs in and she goes, whoa, don't touch that
jar. And I look at her and I go, what
the fuck is that? I love.
This. And she was like, don't worry
about it. And I said no.
I'm kind of worried. Like I'm supposed to put these
things. I was like, you know what?
I'm going to step out of the bathroom.
I'm going to remove myself because.
Seems private. It just seems like I shouldn't
be there. It just seems body, body who's,
She explained, She said. You texted me but I forgot.
Yeah, I think she explained it kind of, but she didn't get into
it fully. No, you can't, because then it
won't. Yes, but it was something an X
of hers and she had put, she had whispered something in the jar.
That's what it was. She whispered something in the
jar, put something in it, sealed it, labeled it body.
That's like my. Spit thing and put it in the
fucking yeah. Yeah, I love her.
She's like a smart woman. Like I love that she.
Has her ducks in a row. I love her.
Shout out. I did.
I did have a friend that went into her girlfriend or like her,
like witchy hookups girlfriends kind of thing, into her freezer
and found other stuff with like people's names on it, including
hers. It works.
She found her. Name on her name and like three
other girls names in the freezer with like witch like witch
bottles or something or like in the fridge or something like
that. It's like freezers written on
them. I'm shocked she found her name
because if they put her in the freezer then that means she
shouldn't be there. As the freezer like.
Freezer's like Freezer's like. You're dead, you're gone.
You're out of my life. You're iced out.
You're iced out like that. Oh my goodness.
So the fact that she saw it means it wasn't a powerful
witch. Yeah, maybe not.
It was a fake witch. We we did.
She didn't. Really believe it when she put
it in the freezer. It could have been that too,
because you really. You have to believe.
It maybe it was new, maybe she just did it and then like.
Do you know this witch? I don't know the witch, I don't
know the witch, I know the friend.
How's your friend doing? She's fine.
She's dead. She's honest, Careful.
I'm not. I'm not.
Died actually. You know that's that's happened
actually. No, I don't.
She's fine. She's like, she's fine.
She's okay. People, people have died from
being put in the freezer. Seriously.
Yeah, plenty, plenty of people. You mean like witch wise?
Yes, Yeah. I don't know.
I think I've done the egg thing where you crack an egg and you
put it I've. Heard of it?
I hadn't done it. I.
Don't know what that is. It's interesting because it's
very Latina. You should ask your mom.
I've seen the egg thing because I don't know what it.
Means. Bruha.
Shit, you know right, Bruha? Yeah, Bruhariya.
Bruhariya. I love it, Your accent, it's
like witchy shit. So what do you do?
Bruhari is witch and then Bruhariya is like witchy.
Yeah, right. What's witchcraft?
Bruhariya is like. Is.
Witchcraft is like witchcraft. Yes, yes.
Got it. all-encompassing and and and and.
The egg thing is what you crack it open.
It's a cleanse and you like you take the egg and I think you put
it in like vinegar or water, you pour it in and then if like
there's white. No shell or no shell?
No shell. You see what happens to the yolk
in there, and what happens to the yolk tells you.
Like if there's something on you.
What's going on? Oh, so you know.
It's something. I've done it.
Maybe I maybe I took a picture and sent it to ChatGPT and had
ChatGPT interpret it. Maybe I did that.
Maybe. What did the chat?
Maybe I'm the reason? Maybe.
I'm using ChatGPT to our. Fullest, yeah.
Wait, you know what? Maybe we're the reason that it
was 75° on Christmas. Maybe we are because we're using
AI so much. I know I.
Not, not us. You guys are using ChatGPT?
I mean not enough I guess. No, we're actually not.
Whoops. My bad, I'm using it for egg
glance. I love that.
No, that's what I'm saying. Like we're not using it to the
full potential. Remember when I found to?
Step it up. We have to step it up.
We got to get to 80° next Christmas.
I mean, like, we got to make everything even hotter.
So you can ask ChatGPT about witchcraft spells.
You can ask ChatGPT about literally.
Anything. That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, but sometimes it's like I can't answer that.
Well if it's for if it's. Well.
I had ChatGPT write a High School Musical fan fiction for
me explicitly. Well, I submitted my old High
School Musical fan fiction to my ChatGPT and I said can you
expand on this? And it's a threesome between
Troy, Chad and Ryan having like, gay sex like Ryan's getting
Eiffel towered by Troy and Chad. I'm like, don't tell anyone and
then you can sell this. And so I had, I had ChatGPT like
write a very, it's like the most graphic fan fiction I've ever
seen Before there were like restrictions on ChatGPT.
There's restrictions. Did you bang your clam to the
revised fan fiction? No, I didn't bang my clam to it
because it doesn't see OK. So I'll write.
I'll write gay fan fiction like Guy on Guy because it doesn't do
anything for me, doesn't make me feel creepy because I don't feel
anything for it. It's like purely comical.
You know what I mean? Like it's purely comical because
guy on guy stuff to me like doesn't, doesn't do anything.
If I was writing lesbian fan fiction, part of me would be
like, I'm a little like, I'm comfortable doing this because I
I like it a little too much. Isn't that the point?
But she's in this. She's doing it writing.
I'm doing it for. Comedy.
I'm doing it for comedy. I'm doing it for like shock
factor. She's in writing mode like.
Like in in my fan fiction, like Troy and Chad.
You guys know who Troy and Chad are?
Yes, Troy Bolton. I know, Troy.
Bolton I don't know Chad, but I've said.
Chad's Corbin Blue. Afro.
Ryan Ryan, the Gay one, Sharpay's brother.
Sharpay's brother locked in?
Yes. So they're Eiffel towering him
and when while they're coming they count down and go 123 and
then while they're coming they go go Wildcats and they come in
him while they're Eiffel towering him.
And that's why they're funny. Have you ever been involved in a
lesbian Eiffel Tower? Oh God.
We won't say in what capacity, not the exact.
Shape I've done I've done something similar.
A rendition but. I would love to get passed
around by a rugby team or something, you know what I mean?
Just like pass. Like a rugby team gangbang.
Yeah, yeah. Or like a softball team or like
a soccer team or something. I would love to just get passed
around like a cigarette in jail by just like I like that a.
Bunch, I love that. By a bunch of athletic lesbians.
I would love that. Just used up, sure.
Athletic lesbians. Yeah, there's something about
that too. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I would love that. I would love that.
It was National Lesbian Day the other day and I was like, how
you guys celebrating? I'm just going to find a rugby
team to pass me around. This is a subsection of films
that I think is lacking, by the way.
So that is a lesbian film that I would love to watch because
there's always, there's always, you know, like men gangbang
trains and things like that where like, the dudes are like,
waiting to like, bang the girl and they, yeah, like a turn.
But I would love for there to be a subsection of, like, lesbian
film where they're all waiting. Oh yeah.
But like, waiting in line to have their turn with this one.
There has to be. Like it has to be like you did
mouse. Find it for me Find it for me it
has. To be like, it has to be like 10
mask athletic lesbians and then one little twink femme, which
would be me, you know, I'm a. Twink right, right, right and
the perfect I. Actually would like to know.
I would love this. I would.
If you can find it, send me the link.
Yes, send like you go for research.
Send me the link. For research I'm going to put it
on eBay and be like if any rugby teams are interested in doing
this off camera with me please let me know, right?
Privately. Let me know privately.
Here's my here's my name and my Social Security number and my
address. You can just show up whenever
you want. Yeah, but we should think about
directing a film like this if it doesn't exist.
I'll let you guys know. If you guys know any rugby teams
or or soccer teams? Or yeah, and obviously we don't
have to cast you, but we can cast somebody to fill, you know,
the role of V dot. OK, well.
I'm going to get jealous. That's fine, gonna hate her with
Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's fine. I'm gonna, I'm gonna wish she
died. Pay yourself if you choose to be
in it. That's true or what she's what's
gonna happen is right is that we cast the the V dot OK character
and then she's getting upset and the film has to stop because you
run in. Yeah, I grab her by her hair, I
pull her extensions out and I'll be in honor, I said.
What are you doing with my rugby team?
That's. My role.
That's mine. Yeah, that's my rugby team.
Get the. Fuck out of here you little hoe.
Is what I would say to her. Yeah, but you guys would have to
make out a little bit. Yeah, well, of course.
Well, I mean, I'm I'm beating on her and then I'm kissing.
Her yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just lovingly.
It's a loving beat down. We're doing hand stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Beating on each other.
We're doing hand stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And this is all in the script. Yeah, it's all.
Part of the foreplay and then the rugby team has their way
with us. And then it becomes like a dual
share. Yeah, yeah.
Where are these films? I loved you.
Guys, where are these films? Anyways, we're going to wrap it
on that wonderful Fiesta fantasy of a film.
V dot. OK, As always, this has been an
incredible ride. Thank you so much.
It has been up, down, left, right.
Missionary Doggy 69. And it's always a true pleasure.
Of course it always is. Thank you so much and as always,
we say. Adios.