1 00:00:07,930 --> 00:00:13,290 You've been praying for more but settling for less, and spirits 2 00:00:13,290 --> 00:00:18,890 say that season is over y'all. No more performing for love, no 3 00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:21,930 more shrinking so people don't feel comfortable around your 4 00:00:21,930 --> 00:00:24,890 light. No more convincing someone to 5 00:00:24,890 --> 00:00:27,090 give you what you already deserve. 6 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:32,439 This episode isn't just a conversation, it's a wake up 7 00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:36,680 call. Because the bar baby, it's not 8 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:41,120 just low, it's inhale. And it's time you stop begging 9 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:47,760 for the bare minimum. Now. 10 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:53,120 We've all been conditioned to accept just enough to get by, to 11 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,880 call gratitude what's really just fear. 12 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:02,760 Fear of loss, fear of rejection, fear of standing alone. 13 00:01:04,599 --> 00:01:10,760 Sometimes we mistake Proms for care, emotional bread crumbs 14 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,760 that feel like connection, but they don't really create 15 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:19,560 consistency. So I want you to ask yourself, 16 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,480 while you're listening to this, before we really get deep in the 17 00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:27,160 subject, where did you learn that your needs were too much? 18 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:34,560 Who told you that asking for effort made you ungrateful? 19 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:41,280 This episode, this is where we start noticing the subtle ways 20 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:47,760 we downplay what we deserve, because awareness is always the 21 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:54,960 first step. Now let me explain a little bit 22 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:59,080 what I mean when I say we've been conditioned to accept just 23 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:04,000 enough to get by. This goes to both men and women 24 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,680 in different aspects. As women, we're raised to be 25 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,760 nurturing, to be caretakers, to worry about everyone around us, 26 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:17,920 our siblings, our parents, the household, our friends at work. 27 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,640 We have to go above and beyond to prove ourselves. 28 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,640 But at the end of the day, that leaves us empty. 29 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,560 When you're raised to be strong and independent, then you're not 30 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:33,560 in a position to receive and be cared for. 31 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:42,600 And even as men, literally everyone has heard happy wife, 32 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,720 happy life. The butt of the jokes is in 33 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:51,760 movies, even if you notice like kid shows, the dad is always a 34 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,760 goofy, disrespected not taking serious character. 35 00:02:55,760 --> 00:03:00,680 Right because he's just thing as the person who goes to work and 36 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,400 funds the lifestyle for the family. 37 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:09,160 His knees aren't heard. He literally has to pay to be 38 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:17,480 heard Nowadays, if you listen to social media, in the general 39 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,680 population, a man has to earn a certain amount of money before 40 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:28,920 he can even be respected. So in both categories, you'll 41 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:33,240 learn to accept the bare minimum, you learn to accept 42 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:38,640 what's given at you, and you're told to be grateful because it 43 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,320 could be worse. If this is already bad, I hate 44 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,560 to see what worse it's like, right? 45 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,520 But let me also be very vulnerable, very real with you. 46 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:54,720 I'm not speaking from a higher place. 47 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:59,640 In most of my writings and my books, in my coaching and my 48 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,320 podcasts, I'm always speaking to a version of myself. 49 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,320 And for me personally, as I've shared with you all, my great 50 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,920 awakening came during my marriage. 51 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,800 Once I started my healing journey, I began to treat myself 52 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:22,400 differently. And as I treated myself 53 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,560 differently and my standards rose, certain things that were 54 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:30,200 OK previously no longer will fly. 55 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,360 Like I just couldn't tolerate it right. 56 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:38,680 So my ex sang, sorry, but not changing the behaviors that hurt 57 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,680 me. I can rock with that. 58 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,280 No more him having knowledge of me but not treating me with 59 00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:49,320 wisdom and consideration. That wasn't OK. 60 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,080 And now This is why I say bare minimum. 61 00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:00,600 He was a good guy, he loved me, he didn't cheat, he never called 62 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,240 me out of my name, he wasn't violent. 63 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,280 But y'all that's literally the bare minimum. 64 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,240 Why would you be with somebody who does anything differently 65 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:13,480 than those? But for the longest, I struggled 66 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,240 with that, right? Because for a lot of people, 67 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,400 that's what they want. They just want the bare minimum. 68 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:21,240 They just want a good guy who's nice to them. 69 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:30,800 I wanted more. I am more and I had to realize 70 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:39,480 that I deserve more now after all the pain I've experienced in 71 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:45,200 my life starting early on in my childhood, I could not settle in 72 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,200 my marriage it. It literally did not sit right 73 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:53,520 with me to be an adult, to be in control of my life, and to 74 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:58,320 settle and accept something less than what I desired. 75 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,920 I deserve overflowing love. Always. 76 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,600 Pray to God and be like, respectfully, you gotta run me 77 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:11,920 my love back. Run me back all the affection 78 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,440 that I missed. I'm coming for it. 79 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,280 I'm old that and I won't stop until I get it. 80 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:27,200 Even with my current partner, someone who and I smile and 81 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,080 blush when I say this, but he's loved me since we first got 82 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:38,480 together over a decade ago. Even when we were dating, I was 83 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,560 so determined. I'm getting everything that's 84 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,440 old to me. I'm getting everything that I 85 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,800 want. That there was a moment I was 86 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,960 like no, this ain't how my future husband would treat me. 87 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:50,680 And y'all it would have been hard. 88 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,640 Y'all already know how much I love this man, right? 89 00:06:55,000 --> 00:07:00,120 But to even be able to stand my ground and say no. 90 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:07,200 And this is the truth. When you raise your standard, 91 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:12,760 when you begin to treat yourself a certain way, you teach other 92 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:20,600 people how to show up for you. To everyone listening, you have 93 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:28,440 to stop playing about you. When you do that, everyone else 94 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,120 will see that they can't play with you. 95 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:38,640 It's literally just that simple, But it's also hard. 96 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,720 However, clarity makes it easier. 97 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,920 You need to become crystal clear about what it is that you desire 98 00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,320 and be firmly resolved that if it's not aligned, you will 99 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,680 reject it. You can't keep asking for what 100 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,400 you want while you're holding on to something. 101 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:04,920 That's not it. You gotta let that go. 102 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:08,760 And it sounds, I know I'm saying it like it is so easy. 103 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,600 Trust me, I have lived it. It's not. 104 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:19,720 I understand it is hard, but I also know that's the only way 105 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:28,320 you're gonna get what it is that you are asking for now. 106 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:35,480 Standards are not ultimatums. Your standard, it's not you 107 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:41,520 forcing your opinions or your beliefs or your way of life on 108 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:45,880 somebody else. This is a boundary that protects 109 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:51,440 your peace. And when we talk about enforcing 110 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,200 standards, we are all adults. Let's be very mature and 111 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:59,080 realistic, OK? I'm not saying quit your job 112 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,600 that you don't like or leave your marriage tomorrow. 113 00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:10,080 If you're married with kids and you have tried and it just isn't 114 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:13,920 working. You've tried counseling, you 115 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,320 tried therapy, you've tried all the things that you know, all 116 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:21,800 the resources that you have. It's still not easy to just get 117 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:28,360 up and walk away, but you can start treating yourself better 118 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:34,000 today even with the job that you hate. 119 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:39,760 Use PTO to interview for other positions. 120 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,600 Look for jobs that you would much rather have. 121 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,880 If it's a higher income, Google what the average pay is for 122 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,240 someone in your field and your job experience. 123 00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,720 Where can you capitalize? What certifications might you 124 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:02,360 need to take? What classes can you possibly 125 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,360 enroll to increase your marketability? 126 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,480 And then you go ahead and apply for what fits you, what fits 127 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,120 your life, what fits your schedule. 128 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:19,840 Can you come in this day? Absolutely. 129 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,000 And you tell your job, hey, I need to use my PTO hours because 130 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,960 I won't be able to come in. I have an appointment at this 131 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:34,640 day, this time for the relationship that isn't working 132 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:37,840 out. Start saving up your money. 133 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:39,720 Cut back on unnecessary expenses. 134 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,000 Save your money. Look. 135 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:47,760 Plan for what life is going to look like whether you have kids 136 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,480 or not. Don't count on child support. 137 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:53,160 Don't count on support. This is what you are doing for 138 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,760 your life. Plan it out. 139 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:00,720 Be smart about this transition. It's already going to be hard 140 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,600 emotionally, so take the other things away that can complicate 141 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:10,560 it. Organize your life so it lives 142 00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:16,000 up to your standard. But you have to know what it is 143 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,520 that you want your life to look like. 144 00:11:18,440 --> 00:11:22,000 You have to take that time to get to know you, to ask those 145 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:26,640 questions, to be curious, to decide what no longer fits where 146 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:31,720 you are or where you're trying to go, and then see what areas 147 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:35,480 do you need to cut back and what areas you need to add to it. 148 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,400 You don't have to wait for the perfect time to act like the 149 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:50,240 virgin of you who deserves more. You start now. 150 00:11:56,400 --> 00:12:00,000 And when you begin to live this life, that's everything you ever 151 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:03,320 desired, right? When you call in, you make 152 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,120 space, and you call in this love, that's safe. 153 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:12,560 It's secure. When you change your life, 154 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,640 always remember that being at peace does not mean you're 155 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:22,120 bored. It means you're finally safe. 156 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,440 Sometimes we wait for the shoe to drop. 157 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:34,360 We wait for what's about to happen when really we just need 158 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,360 to sit in. This is what healthiness feels 159 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:41,440 like. This is what happiness looks 160 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:48,880 like. This is what peace feels like. 161 00:12:53,120 --> 00:13:02,000 Consistency is not confinement, it's stability knowing that you 162 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:07,480 get to wake up in your home that you dreamed of having one day. 163 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:13,080 You are driving the car that you once used to test drive to 164 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,720 manifest. You get to go to a job that you 165 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,640 absolutely love. They recognize you. 166 00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:27,040 They pay you what you are worth in a healthy environment that's 167 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:32,400 not caddy and competitive. You have a beautiful work life 168 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:36,320 balance where you're still able to hang out with your friends, 169 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,480 still able to take trips and explore different parts of the 170 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:48,320 world. When you're in that, enjoy it, 171 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:55,320 be grateful for it, bask in it and be proud of yourself. 172 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:05,920 And even now, this episode is for me as well, this season that 173 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:09,320 I'm in, even the work that I've gone through and I've done and 174 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,720 I'm very proud of where I am, but I'm still not where I want 175 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:18,480 to be all. And I'm still learning new 176 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,800 things about myself. I'm still finding areas where I 177 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:26,920 can continue to expand and explore what safety is inside of 178 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:33,040 my body. I am still learning that I can 179 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:38,120 be visible, loved and supported all at the same time. 180 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,680 And I say that because, you know, I started this podcast 181 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:53,720 anonymously back in June. 1st episode was on my birthday. 182 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,880 So yeah, I started this podcast anonymously. 183 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,920 I wanted to show up authentically. 184 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:06,440 I wanted to show up as myself. And I knew my experience could 185 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,840 be healing for others. I knew the lessons that I've 186 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,880 learned through my life can be applied to other people. 187 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,160 I wasn't ready for people to know it was me. 188 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,720 However, the people in my life knew it was me. 189 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:23,800 Anyway, the irony of it all right? 190 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,840 And wanting to call in, wanting to be this impactful person, 191 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:33,240 wanting to have group coaching and one-on-one coaching and, and 192 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:39,400 really be an impact to people. I couldn't do that while hiding. 193 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,600 So even now, yes, I have revealed who I am. 194 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:51,760 I have revealed my history, my offerings of products and 195 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:57,000 resources, but I still have to get comfortable with being seen. 196 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,280 I still have to get comfortable with the fact that the 197 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,600 information that I have and the experience that I have that I 198 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:07,440 know has the power to impact someone for the better and has 199 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:13,240 the power to improve their life. I have to be comfortable being 200 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,200 visible. I have to be OK with showing who 201 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:22,720 I am to others. I'm still working through that. 202 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:33,640 I am making room for what it is that I desire in my life and 203 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:36,000 that's what I'm encouraging you all to do. 204 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:39,280 It is a journey. It doesn't mean that you're 205 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:45,200 going to accomplish 5 things on your list and all the work is 206 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,680 done, all the healing is done. You just enjoy it for the rest 207 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:52,160 of your life. As you grow, you see different 208 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:56,880 things and then those different things call you to become a 209 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:00,880 different person. And you go through that healing 210 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,560 journey and you go through that transformation process. 211 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:07,119 And then you arrive to that version of yourself and you 212 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,280 enjoy and you experience gratitude and joy. 213 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:15,400 And then you start noticing some things. 214 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:19,560 You start seeing areas where you could grow or seeing things that 215 00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:21,760 maybe you thought you wanted, that you didn't want, but now 216 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:25,119 you want something else. And that's OK. 217 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:30,160 That's the journey of life, and then you begin to learn, you 218 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,840 begin to work on different things and you start another 219 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,040 transformation process and you grow and you heal and you arrive 220 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:42,720 to another version of yourself. Life is constant. 221 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:47,760 It's a constant refinement process, but you have to be 222 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:53,200 comfortable with upgrading your standards and upgrading where 223 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:58,400 you are and who you are when you arrive to that new person, or 224 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,160 else you'll never be able to expand to the next level and to 225 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:12,890 the greater version of you. I really, really, really, really 226 00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:20,690 like truly, deeply in my core wish that everyone knew how 227 00:18:20,690 --> 00:18:34,400 powerful they really are. If everyone fully understood the 228 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:44,240 power of their choices, the power of their mindset, the 229 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:49,960 power of their will, their determination, you really can 230 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:58,440 have everything that you want. You have the ability to 231 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:08,910 drastically change your life, but a lot of people get stuck 232 00:19:08,950 --> 00:19:13,470 because it's going to cost you the comfort of your old life. 233 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:20,830 It's gonna cost you the history of the friends you've been 234 00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,750 fighting with for the past 20 years. 235 00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,870 You fight and make up. You fight and you make up. 236 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:29,150 But we've been friends since middle school. 237 00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:35,600 OK, but that's what you allow if that's where your standard is, 238 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:38,880 if that's all that you ever want. 239 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:47,000 OK, But if you want more, it's going to cause you to fight for 240 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:51,680 more. You are first going to have to 241 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,600 fight your own mindset, your own thoughts, your own beliefs. 242 00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:04,190 You're gonna have to change your habits, change your routine, 243 00:20:04,190 --> 00:20:11,120 change your environment. You're going to have to embody 244 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,200 who it is that you are becoming before you actually become that 245 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,520 person, before you feel comfortable being that person, 246 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:21,040 you're going to have to embody that person. 247 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,880 So for the people who may physically want to get in shape 248 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:33,800 or want to lose weight, before you have that version of your 249 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,320 body that you want, you're going to have to develop habits that 250 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:42,800 will maintain that. You're going to have to develop 251 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,120 an exercise routine. You're going to have to modify 252 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:51,240 your diet. You're going to have to learn 253 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,400 about nutrition, metabolism, all of those things, right? 254 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:01,960 Whatever it is that you want, you approach it the same way. 255 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:12,200 Manifestation is when your mindset aligns with your desires 256 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:20,440 and your actions. When you have all of those 257 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,880 together, baby, it's nothing but time before you get it. 258 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:36,240 And having the courage, the boldness, the devotion to 259 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:42,840 yourself that if anything does not live up to what you want, 260 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,760 are you willing to walk away from it? 261 00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:58,900 Are you willing? Because ultimately, everybody 262 00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:03,020 wants someone that will go to the end of the earth for them, 263 00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:07,140 right? You want someone who will 264 00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:09,940 sacrifice to prove how much they love you. 265 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,120 But can you sacrifice to prove how much you love yourself? 266 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:22,520 You can't expect anybody else to do something that you won't do. 267 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,920 So if you won't change for you, if you won't give yourself the 268 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:36,240 best that life has to offer, if you won't do what's necessary to 269 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:43,920 take care of your mental health, to nurture your emotions, to 270 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:50,360 love on your body, how can you ask somebody else to do that? 271 00:22:57,230 --> 00:23:00,750 And unfortunately, this is where a lot of people find themselves. 272 00:23:07,510 --> 00:23:14,950 This is why the bar is in hell, because deep down you know you 273 00:23:14,950 --> 00:23:20,320 wouldn't do it for yourself. And so because you wouldn't do 274 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:25,520 it for you, you really don't expect anybody else to do it. 275 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:32,360 And because you don't expect anybody else to do it, now you 276 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:38,400 start to settle. Now you start to make excuses. 277 00:23:45,410 --> 00:23:49,130 This is why my teaching and my coaching is directed the way 278 00:23:49,130 --> 00:23:54,880 that it is. You can only change you. 279 00:23:56,040 --> 00:24:01,680 However, once you do that, you change your whole life. 280 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:11,920 So once you realize this is not the life that I want, it's up to 281 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,720 you to get crystal clear on what it is that you do want. 282 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:23,160 Once you become crystal clear on what you do want, it is up to 283 00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:28,480 you to live like it, to reject what is not that. 284 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:35,240 Does that make sense? Is that making sense? 285 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:44,440 People complain about dating and friendships and all these 286 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:48,160 aspects of life, but at the end of the day what I hear is what 287 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:52,440 you allow. When you say all the men are the 288 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:56,200 same, then you allow a certain standard of men to keep dating 289 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,640 you. You haven't you. 290 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,120 You, your standards do not equal what it is that you desire. 291 00:25:06,200 --> 00:25:10,000 When I hear men say they can't trust women, you keep picking 292 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:15,360 women that you can't trust and no one they call it. 293 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,880 People like to call it victim blaming, but at the end of the 294 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,320 day, let's be honest, life is a series of choices. 295 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:26,240 And if you keep having the same experience, that means you have 296 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,480 to have chosen these experiences over and over and over. 297 00:25:35,430 --> 00:25:37,390 Now, a lot of people don't even realize it. 298 00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:39,790 They don't even have the awareness that these are the 299 00:25:40,190 --> 00:25:43,470 repeated decisions that they are making and they're just living 300 00:25:43,470 --> 00:25:47,550 the consequences of that. But once you have that 301 00:25:47,550 --> 00:25:54,760 awareness, once you know, once you see it, it's fully up to you 302 00:25:54,840 --> 00:25:56,480 to do something differently about it. 303 00:26:03,260 --> 00:26:08,700 Completely up to you. But again, This is why my 304 00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,260 signature speech, my one-on-one coaching program, the power of 305 00:26:12,260 --> 00:26:23,540 choosing you, once you choose yourself, once you set the 306 00:26:23,540 --> 00:26:29,160 standard for yourself, that is what changes your life. 307 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,200 And people want to say, oh, that's selfish. 308 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,000 You shouldn't only look out for yourself. 309 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,400 I'm not saying only look out for yourself. 310 00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:43,840 And it is biblical. Even Jesus said love your 311 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:49,160 neighbor as you love yourself. Meaning self love has to come 312 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:55,920 first in order for you to genuinely and truly be there for 313 00:26:55,920 --> 00:27:00,920 somebody else. You gotta show up for you first. 314 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:04,520 Like it. It's not rocket science. 315 00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:12,560 That's what boundaries mean. That's what self love is. 316 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:18,560 Self maintenance standards. You protect you. 317 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:23,480 You set in place the things that you need in order to fill your 318 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:31,280 cup, in order to feel energized. If your phone goes on Do not 319 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:36,120 disturb at 9:00 PM and you let everybody know, hey, I'm really 320 00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,400 cranky and Moody. If I don't get enough sleep, I 321 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,480 can't think properly and it's just a crappy day for me and 322 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,240 everybody around me. So I'm just letting you know I'm 323 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:49,440 going to bed at 9:00. My phone is going on Do not 324 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,920 disturb at 9:00. If you got anything to say, say 325 00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:59,860 it to me before then. Don't hit my line unless it's an 326 00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,700 emergency. And even then, you probably 327 00:28:01,700 --> 00:28:03,820 don't have to call about 2-3 times for it to come through. 328 00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:14,620 That is a boundary for you. The standard is getting a good 329 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:19,340 night's rest. That is the standard that you 330 00:28:19,340 --> 00:28:24,640 require for your life. Your boundary to protect that 331 00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,560 standard, to make sure that that standard happens is your phone 332 00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:30,560 goes on do not disturb at 9:00 PM. 333 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:40,840 You prepare yourself. If you get an invitation. 334 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:43,640 Hey, just letting you know, I'm probably going to leave no later 335 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,240 than 8:30. I got to be home and in the bed 336 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:48,480 by 9:00. Depending on the location, 337 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:50,680 depending on what day it is, depending on what's happening. 338 00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:00,080 And people learn, OK, if we trying to go hit the club at 10, 339 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:05,960 that ain't the one to invite. They be in bed by a certain 340 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:11,080 time. But it also requires you letting 341 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:16,120 go of fear of missing out 'cause you can't say this is your 342 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:17,680 standard. And then you're gonna be like, 343 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:21,360 well, why didn't you invite me? Well, I probably could have 344 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,960 went. And, and now you're sending 345 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,800 mixed signals. Now people don't know how to 346 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,320 treat you. Now you're getting upset that 347 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:30,080 you keep your invites and you feel obligated to go because you 348 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,040 don't know how to enforce your boundary. 349 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:37,800 And now you're cranky every day and you can't seem to catch up 350 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:46,990 on your sleep. Do you see when I'm like, is the 351 00:29:46,990 --> 00:29:52,510 message coming through? Are are you understanding the 352 00:29:52,510 --> 00:30:00,600 connection and the process? Do you fully recognize the labor 353 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:10,980 and effort and sacrifice that is going to be involved for my 354 00:30:10,980 --> 00:30:20,010 women who are dating? The world will tell you you 355 00:30:20,010 --> 00:30:23,250 deserve to be taken care of up front from the start. 356 00:30:23,650 --> 00:30:26,530 A man is gonna look at you know you're worth it, know your 357 00:30:26,530 --> 00:30:29,410 value, and he's gonna start paying your bills immediately 358 00:30:29,410 --> 00:30:34,240 and you ain't got to do nothing. That's bullshit. 359 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:40,080 OK, We're gonna call a spade a spade because this is what 360 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,000 baffles me. How can you expect a man to 361 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:48,000 provide and give you what you aren't even giving yourself? 362 00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:55,720 So you're holding him to a higher standard and then you 363 00:30:55,720 --> 00:31:01,560 hold yourself. You are expecting somebody else 364 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:06,800 who don't know you from Adam or Eve to come in and treat you 365 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:14,080 better than you treat yourself. Do we understand the problem 366 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:22,620 here? And if you are with him simply 367 00:31:22,620 --> 00:31:25,660 because he can fund your lifestyle, then what about the 368 00:31:25,660 --> 00:31:28,180 other aspects of life that matter? 369 00:31:31,980 --> 00:31:35,720 He can pay for Pilates, he can pay for your shopping spree when 370 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,600 you're depressed, he can pay for you to see a therapist. 371 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,920 But can he actually sit there and hold you and listen to you, 372 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:46,520 give you guidance and advice for free and validate your emotions, 373 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:52,560 your experience, your presence? Can he do that? 374 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,080 So you're looking for a man to make 6 figures but he can't even 375 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:03,000 do the free stuff. OK. 376 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,560 You're looking for someone who is wealthy when the habits that 377 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:17,400 you have developed are those who spend money and not make money 378 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,560 or save money or invest money. But you think he gonna bring all 379 00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:28,000 his hard earned money to just dump it in you and never see 380 00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:38,040 anything in return? Because I'm also tell you, not 381 00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,280 all females are the prize and that's why you get triggered 382 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,080 when men speak and say what they say. 383 00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:55,640 Sorry, not sorry because you're expecting this type of 384 00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:59,760 treatment. But let me ask you, 'cause this 385 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,440 is equal opportunity platform over here, OK? 386 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,960 Do you know how to encourage him, how to motivate him? 387 00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:12,640 Have you learned him like the back of your hand to where you 388 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,400 can tell he's had a stressful day and you know how to use set 389 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,640 funds that he may have given you to use at your discretion to 390 00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:27,440 take care of him? Does he have a physical job 391 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:37,200 that's very demanding on him, very stressful on his body, and 392 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:44,280 you appreciate all that he does? Why wouldn't you book him a 393 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:48,440 massage to say thank you? I see you and I got you. 394 00:33:56,510 --> 00:34:02,070 The standard by which we operate is the standard by which life 395 00:34:02,150 --> 00:34:12,840 will treat us. So do you already have your own 396 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,800 life going for you? The things that you want, are 397 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:19,440 you in line to receive them? Are you working on your goals? 398 00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,080 So now that you meet somebody, it's so much easier to see if 399 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,440 you were in alignment. Hey, I'm working on this and I'm 400 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:27,880 going in this direction. What about you? 401 00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:32,120 Oh, well, look at that, we're going in the same direction. 402 00:34:32,639 --> 00:34:37,800 Interesting. But if y'all are already going 403 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:42,600 in different directions from Jump St. why do you, why, umm, 404 00:34:43,679 --> 00:34:45,159 why do you think it's gonna last? 405 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,239 Why do you think it's gonna work? 406 00:34:50,679 --> 00:34:53,400 Why do you think you're gonna be able to tolerate it till death 407 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:57,320 do us part? And you do not have the same 408 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,040 vision, you do not have the same goals. 409 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,400 You are not working together. And working together does not 410 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:07,880 always mean physical labor. I've said it before, I will say 411 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:10,000 it again. I believe in gender roles. 412 00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:14,440 I believe in being a feminine woman and attracting A masculine 413 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,320 male. I believe my partner and I work 414 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:24,960 together, but in different ways. Our goals are the same. 415 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:31,800 Our focus may be different when it comes to raising our 416 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,640 children. He's very practical. 417 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:38,800 He's very discipline oriented. He's very principle driven, like 418 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:40,320 I need you to get the bigger picture. 419 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,360 I need you to be safe, moving about this world, in life. 420 00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:48,720 I have a whole podcast about healing. 421 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:57,760 Obviously, I focus on emotions, your mental health. 422 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,440 How are you feeling? How was your experience as a 423 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,800 child? Yes, my kids look at me like I'm 424 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:08,200 crazy. However, I'm grateful because 425 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:12,000 we're raising well-rounded children who will become 426 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:18,720 well-rounded adults in society, who have social skills, who have 427 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:25,800 domestic skills, who have mental health skills, who will have a 428 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:31,720 support system. They have parents working, 429 00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:37,440 building financially, getting it out the mud so they don't have 430 00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:39,600 to. They can get a leg up in life. 431 00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:46,520 But again, what direction are you going in in your life? 432 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:50,600 What standard do you have for your life that you are 433 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:54,920 upholding? So anything that's not that, it 434 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,320 ain't even got to be rude, but it's a no, thank you for me. 435 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:15,360 Are you showing God or Spirit or whoever you pray to, whoever you 436 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:21,640 ask for help and guidance, that you are serious about what you 437 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:31,940 want? Because if you say, OK, I'm done 438 00:37:31,940 --> 00:37:34,420 with the heartache, I'm done with this, I'm done. 439 00:37:34,420 --> 00:37:37,900 I'm tired of crying. I don't want to be in another 440 00:37:37,900 --> 00:37:42,020 relationship with a guy who is great for the fun times when 441 00:37:42,020 --> 00:37:45,120 things are going well, but when I need help, he's not 442 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:50,480 dependable. When I cry, he walks off and I 443 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,520 have a problem. He doesn't offer to solve it. 444 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,440 But then this new guy comes around, he's really cute, very 445 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:05,360 charismatic and you start hanging out 'cause the vibes are 446 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:14,760 good when you grown grown baby. Vibes don't pay bills. 447 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,240 Vibes don't support me when I don't lost my job and I don't 448 00:38:22,240 --> 00:38:23,440 know what I'm going to do next month. 449 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:31,800 Vibes do not hold me. God forbid when someone close to 450 00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,040 me transitions and is no longer on this earth. 451 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:50,080 This is why the bar is in hell. We are so disconnected from 452 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:56,120 ourselves, from our soul, from our core, that we are accepting 453 00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:02,840 distractions in human form. We are accepting distractions in 454 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:08,240 the form of employment. We are accepting distractions in 455 00:39:08,240 --> 00:39:10,280 the form of scrolling for hours on TikTok. 456 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:19,320 And yes, I am guilty myself. It takes strength to stop and 457 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:30,080 look at yourself, to be so utterly honest with who you are 458 00:39:30,080 --> 00:39:34,000 right now and where you are right now and whether that's 459 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:42,720 acceptable to you or not. It's a special type of person 460 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:59,240 who can take an inventory of their life and choose, excuse 461 00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:01,160 me, sorry, and choose differently. 462 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:09,240 But now, when you choose differently, understand, once 463 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:17,520 you have seen, you cannot Unsee, the burden of awareness is upon 464 00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:26,520 you. So once you have seen and you 465 00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:32,680 choose differently, you have to be committed to that, you have 466 00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:38,400 to stand on that, you have to mean it with everything in you. 467 00:40:45,770 --> 00:40:49,410 I know I really could keep going y'all. 468 00:40:50,770 --> 00:40:53,170 I really, really, really, really could. 469 00:40:53,170 --> 00:41:00,880 The whole, the foundation of what I offer and what I have to 470 00:41:00,880 --> 00:41:09,960 say stands on this point. Stop accepting what is less than 471 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,080 what you deserve and what you desire. 472 00:41:22,370 --> 00:41:27,970 And I just know that this episode hit home for somebody. 473 00:41:29,890 --> 00:41:35,840 It absolutely, absolutely had to 'cause I felt it in my soul. 474 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:50,520 I felt it hit me. I remember crying and I remember 475 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:55,640 begging, God, don't. I don't want to go through pain 476 00:41:55,640 --> 00:42:05,500 for nothing. I want these tears to have 477 00:42:05,500 --> 00:42:15,760 purpose and as much as I have struggled with on my own, I 478 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:18,240 accepted the mission to be my sister's keeper. 479 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:25,640 To be my brother's keeper. I'm the little big sis to the 480 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:27,320 world, right? I can't help it. 481 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:29,440 I've been motherly since I was a child. 482 00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:38,280 I want to look out for my fellow brothers and sisters who are 483 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:44,200 crying out. I want to reach back and lend a 484 00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,920 hand and say, hey, I've been through this or something 485 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:53,200 similar. Word of advice, watch out for 486 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:59,160 this and you'll be OK. I want to be that voice of hope 487 00:42:59,280 --> 00:43:11,500 and encouragement, that guide. If you're here, if you made it 488 00:43:11,500 --> 00:43:15,780 this far, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. 489 00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:18,320 Seriously. And when I say reach out to me, 490 00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:21,760 I really do mean that y'all. I really do. 491 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,720 I'm asking you to stick close with me. 492 00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:31,440 I'm working on some things. I'm trying to get, you know, 493 00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,680 the, the, what is it? Trying to get the stuff in the 494 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:40,600 background going, but I'm working on something very, very 495 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,840 powerful. But I will be revealing at the 496 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:47,880 end of the year, saying it out loud, 'cause that puts the 497 00:43:47,880 --> 00:43:50,000 pressure on me, 'cause now I gotta do it right? 498 00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:54,200 But I have been working on something. 499 00:43:54,200 --> 00:43:58,440 I do have something in mind that I will be bringing to you all in 500 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:03,520 December. So oh goodness, huh? 501 00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:08,320 In about two months time. Oh, no pressure. 502 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:18,360 But I have something very powerful, very impactful, very 503 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:21,520 supportive and encouraging that I will be revealing at the end 504 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:25,760 of the year. In the meantime, keep up with 505 00:44:25,760 --> 00:44:30,600 the podcast. I'm committed every week, every 506 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:39,320 week, every week I am committed. Follow me on Instagram. 507 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:43,200 That is my main social media. Once I get good there then I'll 508 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,360 spill over to Tiktok and YouTube. 509 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:51,720 But follow me on Instagram at no judgment Zone pod for the 510 00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:56,800 podcast page as well as I am Judy Miranda for my personal 511 00:44:56,800 --> 00:45:00,400 page. Check out the offerings in my 512 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:09,960 links tree. All the links are in my bio and 513 00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:13,520 the very first place I would recommend to start. 514 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:17,960 If someone said hey you know I love your message, I love your 515 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:21,040 teaching, I don't know where to start with what you offer. 516 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:26,120 I 100% recommend my 30 day journal. 517 00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:29,720 This is something will take you 4 weeks. 518 00:45:31,240 --> 00:45:36,760 It's a daily tool and this will lay the foundation to start 519 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:43,040 raising your standards. This is something that I created 520 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:47,440 to help you get in touch with what it is that you desire and 521 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,120 help you uncover your power. A lot of times, the things that 522 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:55,400 we're looking for and that we're asking for is not unrealistic at 523 00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:59,440 all. We just have to choose it, to 524 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:04,160 pick it and then commit to it. So this journal helps you to 525 00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:08,600 take time out to get to know yourself, to understand your 526 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:12,120 why, what have you been through? Take inventory of your 527 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:14,480 environment. What does your life look now, 528 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,960 look like now and then allow you to dream. 529 00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:22,200 What do you envision for your future? 530 00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,920 And I absolutely love it because the final week is OK. 531 00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:28,560 This is the information that you said these, these are your 532 00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:33,120 words. Now, how can you get to that 533 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:35,120 future that you envision? What can you do? 534 00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:37,280 What minor changes can you start making now? 535 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,520 If that works for you and you have the perfect momentum and 536 00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:49,680 you that just opened your mind, open your eyes and you're ready 537 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:55,640 to go, by all means, go. Let me know. 538 00:46:55,640 --> 00:47:03,440 Hey, the journal is fire sis. I always thought my dreams were 539 00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:07,600 unattainable, but now I see how I can how I can start working 540 00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:09,920 towards it. Great. 541 00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:11,280 I'm always going to cheer you on. 542 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,040 I'm a check in. Hey, how you doing? 543 00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:18,280 If you do And you're like OK this was good. 544 00:47:18,280 --> 00:47:22,480 I see what you did there, but I need a little bit more support 545 00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:27,080 now. Reach out to me, let me know. 546 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:29,960 I may have another book I can recommend. 547 00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:35,480 Depending on your circumstances, you may be able, you may be a 548 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:36,960 candidate. We could work one-on-one 549 00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:41,240 together. You may prompt me to create 550 00:47:41,240 --> 00:47:43,960 something else for people in your situation, right? 551 00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:46,880 Let me know. Please, please, please by all 552 00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:49,840 means let me know what you need and what it is that can serve 553 00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:51,840 you because that is what I am here to do. 554 00:47:54,480 --> 00:48:00,520 Just to close out, Please remember you don't have to beg 555 00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:02,440 for what was already meant for you. 556 00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:11,240 Don't beg. Instead, I want you to set the 557 00:48:11,240 --> 00:48:22,520 tone for your life. You are the standard from here 558 00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,360 on out. Stop negotiating your worth. 559 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:33,320 Start living like the blessing that you already are. 560 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:43,840 This has been another episode of No Judgment Song where we 561 00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:48,520 explore pleasure and healing. Nothing is off limits. 562 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:59,360 I am your beloved host, Judy, Miranda, and baby, it is brings 563 00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:05,560 me so much joy to remind you that you deserve pleasure. 564 00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:12,200 Keys in the whole goddamn package. 565 00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:16,680 OK, I'll see you next time. Love you. 566 00:49:17,240 --> 00:49:17,320 Bye.