1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,360 Welcome to the New Manager Podcast. 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:16,440 I'm your host, Kim Nichol. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,920 I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,760 Last week I posted a story on LinkedIn and it's gotten a lot 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,660 of attention, so I wanted to share it with you in case you 6 00:00:28,660 --> 00:00:32,020 don't follow me there. And it's a good story. 7 00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:38,020 There's a couple of layers of lessons in this one and so 8 00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,700 that's what we're going to talk about today. 9 00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:47,740 So the context is this. Back in 2018 I got a new phone 10 00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:53,270 and I tend to hold on to my technology for a long time. 11 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,990 I am not what you would call an early adopter. 12 00:00:56,030 --> 00:01:00,550 I'm much more of the person who hey, if it if it works, let's 13 00:01:00,550 --> 00:01:02,950 just keep using it until it's all used up. 14 00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:06,790 So if it still works, I'll hold on to it for a long time. 15 00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:13,990 So I've had this phone for many years and over the years it had 16 00:01:13,990 --> 00:01:18,980 started to show somewhere. I had dropped it from time to 17 00:01:18,980 --> 00:01:22,180 time. The back of it was shattered, 18 00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:27,020 but it wasn't a problem because they had a case and so the, you 19 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:31,780 know, you could see the cracks on the back of the case, but it 20 00:01:31,780 --> 00:01:34,620 didn't really affect how I used it. 21 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:38,100 It was fine. And then maybe six or seven 22 00:01:38,100 --> 00:01:42,860 months ago, I dropped it again and this time the front of the 23 00:01:42,860 --> 00:01:51,150 case cracked and there was this very elaborate shatter mark from 24 00:01:51,150 --> 00:01:55,750 the lower left hand corner all the way up to the upper right 25 00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,990 hand corner. But you know, you know, it's 26 00:01:57,990 --> 00:02:00,270 still worked. I could, I could still use it. 27 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,470 Sure. It kind of interfered with my 28 00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:08,229 ability to see the screen clearly because now the screen 29 00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:13,310 was broken, but it still worked. So you know, I'm going to keep 30 00:02:13,310 --> 00:02:16,910 using it. And then you know, it was an 31 00:02:16,950 --> 00:02:21,670 older phone and so the battery didn't really hold a charge so 32 00:02:21,670 --> 00:02:23,990 well. But no problem. 33 00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:28,470 I just always make sure it was charged or I would carry a 34 00:02:29,070 --> 00:02:33,510 backup power bank with me in case I was someplace and I 35 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:36,950 needed a little extra charge. No problem. 36 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,510 Also, the memory was really full. 37 00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:44,330 There was not a lot of room, but you know, no problem. 38 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,450 I just, I won't update all the apps, right? 39 00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:49,490 Like every update takes more space. 40 00:02:49,530 --> 00:02:52,410 I don't, I don't really need to update every app, right? 41 00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:57,770 So I I had had this phone and I'm holding on to it. 42 00:02:57,770 --> 00:03:02,530 I'm holding on to it. And you might know, but there 43 00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:04,810 have been some new phones released. 44 00:03:05,010 --> 00:03:10,410 Apple recently released some new phones, and I thought, well, 45 00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:14,170 shoot, maybe it's time to get a new phone. 46 00:03:15,130 --> 00:03:19,050 And so finally I did. And I have to tell you, I was a 47 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:21,450 little bit torn because my other phone worked. 48 00:03:21,970 --> 00:03:24,850 It had cracks on it, but wasn't a big deal. 49 00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:28,330 It still worked. The battery life was really 50 00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:31,450 compromised. But hey, I mean, not really a 51 00:03:31,450 --> 00:03:32,610 problem. I can. 52 00:03:32,850 --> 00:03:35,170 I can manage that. I can make it work. 53 00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:41,570 And that's so much of A story that has served me very well in 54 00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:44,290 many situations of my life and in my career. 55 00:03:44,610 --> 00:03:48,610 I can make it work well. I got my new phone and I have to 56 00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:53,530 tell you, it is so nice. It is so nice. 57 00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:59,650 The front screen is so smooth. I can see everything so clearly 58 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:04,490 that the screen is also a little bit bigger and the battery life 59 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:09,710 is amazing and there's a lot more storage and things just 60 00:04:09,710 --> 00:04:14,830 happen really fast. And it wasn't until I got this 61 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:24,270 new phone that I understood how much work it took to accommodate 62 00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:29,390 the accumulated issues from my prior phone. 63 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:36,900 And I'm telling you this because it is so easy to just make do 64 00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:44,180 with what you have and to let things add up to let those 65 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:49,420 little problems or challenges just accumulate. 66 00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:56,540 And if you are a person who has had to make do and make things 67 00:04:56,540 --> 00:05:03,990 work in your life, it is so easy to default to that perspective 68 00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:07,830 in every situation. But what happens then is you'll 69 00:05:07,830 --> 00:05:13,630 just try harder and you'll stay in situations that are okay but 70 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:18,230 maybe not great. And because it creeps up over 71 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:22,830 time, you don't notice how heavy things become. 72 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:28,110 This is exactly the time when a virtue becomes a hindrance. 73 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:33,580 It's when your strength, your resilience, your commitment to 74 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:37,340 working hard, your resourcefulness at making do 75 00:05:37,340 --> 00:05:41,620 even with less than great situation, it will get in the 76 00:05:41,620 --> 00:05:44,820 way. And it happens slowly and it 77 00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:49,060 becomes a habit. And so This is why it becomes 78 00:05:49,060 --> 00:05:51,420 really important from time to time. 79 00:05:51,420 --> 00:05:59,060 You have to pause, take a step back and look at things with 80 00:05:59,060 --> 00:06:02,980 fresh eyes. You want to look at your work. 81 00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:06,700 You want to look at your life. You want to look at whatever it 82 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:10,340 is that is happening. You want to take a step back and 83 00:06:10,340 --> 00:06:14,860 really reassess with fresh eyes what is really happening here 84 00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:21,300 And ask yourself, is this still what you want? 85 00:06:22,180 --> 00:06:27,500 Does this still work for you? Or are we now at a place where 86 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,270 things have changed or where you have changed? 87 00:06:32,390 --> 00:06:36,670 Because when you're putting all of your energy into your coping 88 00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:42,950 strategy, then we have less energy for our change strategy 89 00:06:43,590 --> 00:06:49,670 or our exit strategy. And so the big lesson here is 90 00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:55,150 just because you can make it work, it doesn't mean that you 91 00:06:55,150 --> 00:06:58,560 have to. You always want to take that 92 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:03,080 step back to reassess. Has something changed when you 93 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:07,800 look at the situation and now is this still what you want? 94 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,320 It can be so tricky because when you have gotten good at keeping 95 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:22,120 something going, it is easy to feel so invested in it, right? 96 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,320 Like, oh, I've kept it going this long. 97 00:07:24,690 --> 00:07:25,810 You know it. Why should I? 98 00:07:25,810 --> 00:07:28,170 Why should I quit now? Or why should I give up now? 99 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:33,810 Or I've managed to make it work, so, you know, why should I? 100 00:07:33,810 --> 00:07:36,530 Why should I change if I can still make it work? 101 00:07:37,010 --> 00:07:41,730 Is it somehow better to continue to make it work? 102 00:07:42,210 --> 00:07:44,490 And especially when it's something that happens 103 00:07:44,490 --> 00:07:48,650 incrementally, it seems like, oh, it's not that big a deal. 104 00:07:48,650 --> 00:07:50,770 It's just it's just this one small thing. 105 00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:55,810 It's just this one small thing, but they do add up and it can 106 00:07:55,810 --> 00:08:00,210 really drain you. So I'm telling you this because 107 00:08:00,210 --> 00:08:04,090 I want you to have a moment where you also pause, take a 108 00:08:04,090 --> 00:08:06,930 step back and take a look at the big picture. 109 00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:11,010 Is it time for a change? And realize, too, that any 110 00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:14,330 change can feel a little bit scary because it's new. 111 00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:19,890 For as much as we, you know, might complain or lament the 112 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:25,060 challenges that we face when they are familiar, it is easier 113 00:08:25,060 --> 00:08:29,620 to stay with the familiar thing because you've already developed 114 00:08:29,620 --> 00:08:33,340 some strategies to deal with it and there's a sense of comfort 115 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:37,220 and safety when you have familiarity with it. 116 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,400 This is something that I often coach my clients on when they're 117 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,159 contemplating a change, either applying for a promotion or 118 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:48,600 going for a different job in another, you know, company or 119 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,920 going for a different job in a different part of the industry. 120 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:56,280 There's always that little twinge of fear, that little 121 00:08:56,280 --> 00:09:01,040 flare up of anxiety, which is, well, what if I take this other 122 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:05,540 job or this other promotion? And what if it's worse? 123 00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:09,700 Or what if I can't do it? Or what if I'm really not cut 124 00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:12,100 out for it because I haven't done that before? 125 00:09:12,540 --> 00:09:16,860 And when we consider the uncertainty of something new, 126 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:22,460 that can activate that anxiety and fear and have a staying in 127 00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:25,140 the familiar thing. Because you know you're going to 128 00:09:25,140 --> 00:09:27,260 have challenges either way, right? 129 00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:31,020 But when we are faced with uncertainty, sometimes the 130 00:09:31,020 --> 00:09:35,630 familiar challenge feels safer, feels less risky. 131 00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:39,510 It's not. It just seems that way because 132 00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,430 it's something that we already know about. 133 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:44,990 So this is something that I help my clients with all the time. 134 00:09:44,990 --> 00:09:50,310 Is getting able to have a perspective to reassess and also 135 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:52,990 to get a clearer sense for themselves? 136 00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:56,670 Are there other strengths that I have that are getting in the 137 00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:59,450 way? Is there a story that I tell 138 00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:03,250 about who I am and what I'm really good at that has served 139 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:07,650 me well in some situations, but perhaps not this one? 140 00:10:08,210 --> 00:10:14,450 And helping you to learn how to really trust your own judgment, 141 00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:18,090 your own intuition and your own decision making as you're making 142 00:10:18,090 --> 00:10:21,770 decisions about your career, your work, your life. 143 00:10:22,170 --> 00:10:25,580 And the sometimes the decisions that you'll have to make as a 144 00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:29,820 leader and as a manager that you might then you know not have 145 00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,660 someone to reassure you about. So you want to have a clear 146 00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:37,860 sense what am I choosing and why and really trusting yourself and 147 00:10:37,860 --> 00:10:40,140 your own judgment in that situation. 148 00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:44,180 So that is what I wanted to share with you really quick note 149 00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:48,980 this week. Lastly, I have this idea that I 150 00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:52,540 wanted to invite you to. I'm really interested in hearing 151 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:56,180 from more of my listeners. I have been getting some 152 00:10:56,180 --> 00:11:00,500 wonderful emails and LinkedIn messages from you who are 153 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:04,180 listening and telling me how you're using the podcast to help 154 00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:10,140 you deal with work situations. And I want to invite you to have 155 00:11:10,140 --> 00:11:14,530 a conversation with me about it. And we're going to then share 156 00:11:14,530 --> 00:11:20,330 the conversation on the podcast to, you know, extend some of, 157 00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:22,490 you know, some of the ideas. And some of the ways that I've 158 00:11:22,490 --> 00:11:25,450 been hearing people are using the podcast have been really 159 00:11:25,450 --> 00:11:27,450 inspiring. And I thought, you know what? 160 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,930 What if we just have a conversation and then share it 161 00:11:29,930 --> 00:11:33,290 out a little bit. So I want to invite you to have 162 00:11:33,290 --> 00:11:35,530 a conversation with me about that. 163 00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:40,170 You'll find a link to apply in the show notes so you can get 164 00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:43,600 started there. And if you want Oneonone 165 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,040 coaching to support you through the different challenges that 166 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:50,320 you're facing in your work in your life, then please get in 167 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,720 touch. I really believe that the more 168 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,840 effective you are in your work, the happier you will be in your 169 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,560 life. And the reverse is also true. 170 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,960 When things are going well in your life, work actually gets a 171 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:05,560 lot easier. And sometimes it's hard to know. 172 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,920 Like you know when you're when you're feeling distressed about 173 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,600 what's going on, it's hard to know, like, which end of that to 174 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,280 work on. So book a consultation with me. 175 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,400 Let's talk about where you're at, where you want to get to and 176 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:20,640 how I can help. You'll find a link to my 177 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,840 calendar in the show notes below. 178 00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,960 All right, have a great week and I will talk to you next time. 179 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:34,420 When you're more effective at work, you're happier in your 180 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:38,220 life, And when you're happier in your life, you're more effective 181 00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:40,020 at work. I can help. 182 00:12:40,220 --> 00:12:44,620 Go to my website, kimnickel.com and sign up for a coaching 183 00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,020 consult. It can get better.