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Welcome to the new manager 
podcast. 

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I'm your host, Kim nickel. 
Hello and welcome. 

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I'm glad you're here and I hope 
you're doing well today in San 

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Francisco. 
It definitely feels like the 

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seasons have changed. 
The days are getting shorter and

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cooler. 
I'm wearing warmer sweaters. 

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I'm wearing my fuzzy. 
Socks had to dig them out of the

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door because I haven't worn 
those in a long time and I'm 

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feeling a bit more reflective as
we Then to the end of the year. 

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And I know for some of my 
listeners and some of my 

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students and clients that are in
the southern hemisphere. 

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So those of you in Australia, 
especially I know that my 

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clients there are celebrating 
and rejoicing that the days are 

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getting longer and warmer and 
they're having more Sunshine for

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themselves. 
So, it's interesting to just 

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notice and pause during the 
course of the year and And 

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realize how the change in 
seasons can affect us both in 

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terms of our mood and how we 
feel in our physical bodies. 

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But also, when we think about 
what is happening in your 

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industry, it this time of year, 
maybe for you, this last quarter

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of the Year becomes the really 
busy time, and you're getting 

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ready to ramp up for that last 
big push of the year but maybe 

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four One else, this starts to 
signal that end-of-year, wind 

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down when things start to wrap 
up and get a little bit quieter,

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maybe you go into more of the 
reflection mode and planning for

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the coming year every industry, 
and every organization is a 

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little bit different. 
And I find it's just helpful to 

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pause and take stock and ask. 
Where are we now in the year and

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and what effect does that? 
Have on how How I approach my 

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work, and my life, and my 
relationships, both personal and

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professional, they can all shift
depending on what is happening 

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in the season that were in. 
I also wanted to open and share 

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with you a celebration client of
mine, wrote to me. 

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And we, we work together for six
months, but we finish our 

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coaching back in September. 
So almost six weeks ago now and 

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she To me because I tell my 
clients, when we finish our 

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coaching, we still know each 
other and I still want you to 

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let me know how it's going. 
And keep me posted on what's 

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happening with you. 
So this client wrote to me and 

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she said, I still can't get over
how much my Outlook has changed 

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since we started working 
together. 

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I was headhunted for something 
that could be really wonderful. 

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The work itself is everything. 
I like there's still a lot to 

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learn So I'm having a great time
with the process, but in 

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contrast to before, I'm not 
trying to force something or 

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think of it as an escape hatch. 
So my update today is to share 

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the realization. 
That another change is 

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happening. 
I'm becoming more selective in 

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what I go for because I'm so 
much more aware of what's out 

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there for me. 
I loved reading her message, you

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know, it's interesting because 
with my clients, I only see you 

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once a week and it's for less 
than an hour, our sessions are 

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50 minutes. 
So I only see you once a week 

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for less than an hour. 
There's a lot more that happens 

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outside of that time. 
And it's so just, it makes me 

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feel so good to hear how my 
clients take that work and 

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really run with it, but Even 
after six weeks later to still 

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see the effect of the work that 
we did together and how it's 

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making a really positive 
contribution into her life and 

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then by extension into the 
industry that she's a part of. 

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So I love that wanted to share. 
So for today's episode because 

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I'm feeling cozy in my warm 
sweater and with my warm cup of 

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tea, I've been feeling 
reflective and I thought, okay, 

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it's time for us to talk about 
some reflection questions and 

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this is the perfect time of year
for this, especially because 

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we're coming into the last 
quarter but it's also helpful to

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think about because for many of 
us, our first experience of 

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questions happened when we were 
in our formal education. 

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And in that context when we were
asked, Question, our job was to 

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give the correct answer and meet
the expectation of the person 

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who is asking the question. 
So it was a very performative 

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question, it was like an 
examination kind of question. 

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Like let's examine what 
knowledge you have absorbed from

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this class and a reflective 
question. 

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A reflection question Works 
differently because the purpose 

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of the Reflection question is 
not to give the right answer and

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it is not to perform in a way 
that obtains approval or praise 

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from someone. 
The purpose of a reflection 

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question is to help you think a 
little bit differently, just by 

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shifting your attention so that 
you can gain something valuable 

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from your On Direct life 
experience and that's the kind 

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of information that you can't 
find in a book or in some other 

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intelligent person's brain. 
That kind of wisdom is the 

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wisdom that you have that you 
develop. 

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But if you don't look towards 
it, you might not see it. 

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You might completely overlooked 
This information and wisdom that

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you have, which is a bummer 
because it's really good. 

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Like it's really valuable. 
So and here's what I mean by 

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that, I'm going to offer you 
five or six actually reflection 

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questions and just notice as I 
share these what comes up as you

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hear them. 
And this is also, you know, a 

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good time if you are able to 
take notes, you will want to 

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write these Down and you can 
Journal them later or even I 

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mean this might be fun. 
So you're going to write down 

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these questions and you can then
hand them to someone you trust 

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and say hey can you ask me these
questions? 

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And then I'll talk through my 
answer because sometimes 

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speaking an answer through your 
physical body just gives you 

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different information than if 
you write it out silently. 

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Because the process of speaking 
something out loud can really 

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give you that feeling 
information. 

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If you are really spot-on, 
telling the truth, if you're 

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feeling a little squirmy about 
something, if you are, you know,

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sometimes you say something out 
loud and it just doesn't feel 

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quite right. 
And then you say something else 

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and you think yes this is 
exactly what I was trying to 

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say. 
So the process of saying the 

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thing out loud gives you this 
added layer of insight 

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Information that you might not 
get if you just write it 

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silently by yourself. 
So this is one idea that of what

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you can use these questions for 
write them down, give them to a 

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partner, you know? 
Or, I don't know, you could even

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give them to your, like, teenage
kid. 

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Could be a very interesting 
exercise and say, hey can you 

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ask me these questions and then 
I will answer them. 

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You can also then offer. 
Hey you know want to know want 

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to play a game. 
I'm going to ask you these five 

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or six reflection questions. 
And then you can answer them and

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it's a way of kind of getting to
know each other in a different 

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way. 
So there you go. 

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That could be a fun kind of 
relationship building, and 

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really kind of connective 
practice to do with somebody 

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that you care about. 
So here are the questions and 

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they're sort of organized in 
terms of past looking present, 

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looking and future looking. 
So, it starts with question 

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number one, When you reflect on 
the year, what are you most 

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proud of? 
When you reflect on the year 

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that you've just had, right? 
The last 1012 months, when you 

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reflect on the year, what are 
you most proud of Question 

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number two. 
When you look back on the year, 

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what has been your greatest 
learning? 

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And this can mean learning about
yourself. 

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Like, what have you learned 
about yourself in the last year?

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This could be learning about, 
you know, a situation like what 

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have you learned but what has 
been your greatest learning in 

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the past year? 
now, as you think of the coming 

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year, what do you want to leave 
behind? 

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Or what do you want to let go 
of? 

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And this was actually a question
that I asked one of my clients 

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she thought about it and then I 
could see her just relax and she

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said I want to let go of 
second-guessing myself all the 

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time. 
Wow, I thought that was such a 

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great answer. 
So consider for yourself as the 

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new think about the coming year.
What would you like to leave 

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behind or let go of? 
It could be a habit, a 

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relationship. 
It could be like my client said 

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you might want to let go of 
second-guessing yourself all the

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time. 
Might want to let go of some of 

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that self-doubt. 
But consider, what do you want 

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to leave behind her? 
Let go of and then, as you think

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about the year to come, what 
would you like more of And this 

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is a fun question because you 
can think of it in terms of your

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professional life. 
Maybe what is the type of work 

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that you want more of or perhaps
in the workplace may be what you

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want? 
More of is a specific kind of 

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support but you can also think 
of it in terms of your personal 

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life. 
What do you want? 

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More of maybe what you'd like is
a little bit more time and space

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to do now? 
Non-work things may be what 

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you'd like is a little bit more 
unstructured time where you 

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don't feel so planned out or 
maybe what you want. 

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Like more of is to have like 
specific kind of time with a 

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specific person in your life. 
Maybe it's something around 

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relationships. 
So that's a fun question. 

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What would you like more of as 
you think forward? 

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And then, okay, as you think 
about the coming year, where is 

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your growth? 
I love this question because it 

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really can change. 
This is actually a great 

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question to ask, you know, a 
couple times a year and also to 

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remind yourself because 
sometimes your growth is in 

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being more active and engaged 
and the doing, you know, it 

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might be. 
Oh I need to have the courage to

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speak up more in board meetings 
or I want to have the confidence

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to do this hard thing. 
And really Tackle it that growth

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might be around action taking 
but sometimes your growth might 

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be in doing less, perhaps your 
growth is in more rest and less 

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doing maybe your growth is in 
communicating your boundaries. 

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And in order to do that first, 
you have to realize that you are

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allowed to have boundaries Maybe
your growth is in not putting 

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everyone first and neglecting 
your own well-being. 

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Maybe your growth is pausing to 
check in with yourself first and

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then making decisions about how 
to engage with others. 

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Maybe that will require you to 
learn the skill of Delegation, 

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and to become more. 
So asking that question, where 

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is your growth in the coming 
year? 

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And as you look forward because 
we always have a growth Edge but

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it's not always the same year to
year or season to season. 

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So taking the time to pause 
reflect take stock and consider.

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As you think about the coming 
year, where is your growth? 

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And then my last question that I
want to offer you, what have you

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been avoiding? 
This is a great question. 

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Especially if you're a person 
who tends to be over scheduled 

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and you feel very busy because 
in that over scheduling and in 

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that busyness, it also can act 
like a smoke screen that lets us

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avoid uncomfortable. 
Things. 

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It might be that we're avoiding 
having a difficult conversation 

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with somebody. 
It might be that were avoiding 

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taking time to slow down because
if I slow down, then I would 

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have to really face and feel 
some uncomfortable feelings. 

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Maybe the thing were avoiding is
something that seems really 

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scary and so we just keep 
putting it off and putting it 

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off. 
But what's interesting about 

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being avoidant about something? 
You know, number one this is a 

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very human quality so don't use 
avoidance as a reason to feel 

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bad about yourself instead use 
it as a signal to illuminate. 

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Something true about what you're
experiencing right now. 

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And the great thing to with 
avoidance is it takes energy. 

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It takes energy to avoid 
something and so we want to be 

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aware of what am I avoiding? 
Because even though we are not 

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engaged with the thing, right? 
Like we are avoiding it but 

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we're still feeding energy 
towards it because that's what 

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avoidance requires. 
Even if it's something like 

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there's a piece of mail on your 
desk and you haven't opened it 

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because it, you know, you just 
Look at it and you think I don't

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want to open that I'm not ready 
to deal with that even that 

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level of avoidance, it takes 
energy and so you want to know 

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for yourself where are your 
avoidance spots? 

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And you know what does that 
mean? 

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Like what are you avoiding and 
why do you want to continue to 

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avoid that? 
Or what would happen if you 

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decided to address it? 
It and kind of move towards it 

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intentionally, right? 
And this is to where it's 

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helpful to distinguish between 
being an avoidance versus being 

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in like a strategic timeline. 
Where you've decided? 

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Okay, here's this thing that 
needs my attention. 

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I am deciding that I'm going to 
allocate this amount of time for

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it on this future date. 
And so it's avoidance, but it's 

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intentional. 
It's like an intentional 

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placement in the timeline, and 
I'm going to place it there for 

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these reasons. 
Then it's kind of part of, of 

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the plan part of the approach. 
So when you look at what you've 

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been avoiding, it might be what 
you've been avoiding this entire

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year. 
It might be longer than that. 

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Maybe it's the thing. 
You thought. 

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Oh, I don't have to learn how to
speak up. 

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I'm getting by just fine. 
Keep in my head down. 

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And just making my way through 
and then you realize okay I 

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think it's really time now that 
this skill that's been 

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uncomfortable for me, it really 
is time now to address that and 

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really get to work on that so 
consider what you've been 

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avoiding and then have some 
compassion for yourself. 

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Offer yourself a lot of Grace 
but see what information you can

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find about yourself in the 
avoidance. 

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And so these are the Kinds of 
questions. 

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As I mentioned before, these are
reflection questions, so it's 

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not like there's a right answer 
and you're not looking to, you 

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know, perform or earn praise or 
approval from it from anybody. 

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They really are questions that 
can help you to look a little 

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differently at yourself and your
life so that you can gain some 

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valuable and real personal 
Insight that can then help you 

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make decisions about what you're
doing next and these kinds of 

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reflection questions are also, 
you can think of them like a 

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tool that will prevent you from 
getting stuck in a habit or a 

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pattern because a lot of times 
the reason we get stuck in the 

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habit or the pattern is simply 
because they are familiar and it

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can just continue onwards 
because we're not reflecting on 

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what am I choosing and why and 
really where's my growth and why

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we just get caught in this 
pattern of The repetitive doing.

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And so use these questions to 
shine a little more light 

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towards your own self, how 
you're thinking about your life 

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and your work. 
As we come towards the end of 

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the year and you begin to 
consider, you know, where have I

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been what just happened? 
And where am I going? 

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And how do I want to get there? 
As I move towards the end of the

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year and prepare to step into 
the year to come? 

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So, that's what I wanted to 
offer to you. 

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Today, I'm so glad you're here. 
Thank you for listening, and if 

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you want to work with me, I do 
work with clients, one-on-one, 

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for 6 months, and the first 
place to start, is to book a 

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consultation. 
So we can talk go into the show 

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notes. 
You'll find a link to my 

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calendar and I look forward to 
chatting with, you, see you next

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time. 
Bye. 

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Hey, boo. 
Before you go, if you like this 

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podcast, please leave a review. 
Tell me why you listen and what 

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00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,500
has helped you? 
Thanks so much. 

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I'll see you next time.