1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,360 Welcome to the New Manager Podcast. 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:16,360 I'm your host, Kim Nichol. Hello and welcome. 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,920 I'm glad you're here and I hope you're doing well. 4 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,920 I have been noticing that in my world, a lot of my clients are 5 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,840 starting to make some moves. There is a lot of reflection and 6 00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:32,759 a lot of opportunities happening in the career area of life. 7 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:38,120 And it's been really exciting to see what happens when you start 8 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:41,280 to feel more confident and you have better communication 9 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,760 skills. And you have the mindset that 10 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,440 allows you to evaluate opportunities in a way that you 11 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:54,380 trust your own judgment and don't have hesitation or the 12 00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:56,980 rumination of all. Is this the right choice? 13 00:00:56,980 --> 00:00:59,820 What will people think? There's something that begins to 14 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:04,459 happen when you develop the mindset and the communication 15 00:01:04,459 --> 00:01:09,380 skills and the sense of inner confidence in yourself at work 16 00:01:09,380 --> 00:01:11,740 and in your career. It's something I've been 17 00:01:11,740 --> 00:01:14,220 noticing with my clients, especially those that have been 18 00:01:14,220 --> 00:01:17,740 working with me for a while. And so I wanted to share with 19 00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:24,860 you one of the important and key qualities that I've noticed. 20 00:01:25,380 --> 00:01:27,580 So here's how I want to explain it. 21 00:01:27,580 --> 00:01:29,500 I'm just going to tell it to you very directly. 22 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:35,500 The thing that every great manager and leader does is look 23 00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:41,740 for agency. What I mean is, you will look 24 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:48,780 for what is within your control, what it is within your sphere of 25 00:01:48,780 --> 00:01:53,090 influence. You will look for where is your 26 00:01:53,090 --> 00:01:57,690 choice in this situation and throughout your career. 27 00:01:57,690 --> 00:02:02,170 There will be times when it seems like you have no choice. 28 00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:07,730 For example, you might be notified that you need to lay 29 00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:11,350 off people on your team, and you might think I don't have a 30 00:02:11,350 --> 00:02:14,950 choice in that. I've been told by a higher up 31 00:02:14,950 --> 00:02:18,110 leader that I simply have to do this and I don't want to, but I 32 00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:19,990 have to. I feel like I have no choice. 33 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:24,950 What a great manager will do in that situation is ask What 34 00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:28,870 options do I have for how I want to do this? 35 00:02:29,390 --> 00:02:33,110 Can I make this most supportive? Most compassionate? 36 00:02:33,390 --> 00:02:38,270 Can I communicate this in a really humane way and help my 37 00:02:38,270 --> 00:02:41,050 team? Both the folks that I have to 38 00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:44,450 give this news to that will have to leave. 39 00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:47,770 Is there a way I can convey this to them in a way that is so 40 00:02:47,770 --> 00:02:52,370 respectful and can help position them for whatever comes next? 41 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:57,570 And you'll also think, is there a way I can communicate and 42 00:02:57,570 --> 00:03:02,610 support the team Who will stay? Who might start feeling a little 43 00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:07,780 insecure or who might need to now absorb additional work and 44 00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:10,020 maybe they'll feel discouraged about it? 45 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:15,820 You will look for what is it that you do have choice over 46 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,780 where is your agency? How can you make decisions even 47 00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:24,940 in a situation that has features that you yourself did not 48 00:03:24,940 --> 00:03:27,620 choose? Now, why it's important to 49 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:32,620 understand this is because when you are giving more of your 50 00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:37,610 attention to the things outside of your control, that can create 51 00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:41,290 a lot of worry, a lot of anxiety. 52 00:03:41,690 --> 00:03:45,930 It can create a feeling of being powerless and not being able to 53 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:50,450 have any effect on what's happening, which tends to not 54 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:55,010 feel very good. And there is this moment where 55 00:03:55,010 --> 00:03:58,610 you start to train your awareness. 56 00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:02,490 You begin to notice where is my attention drifting to? 57 00:04:02,490 --> 00:04:07,070 Do I tend to spend more time ruminating about the things that 58 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:11,390 are outside of my control, Like, oh, what will people think and 59 00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:14,270 what will they do? And well, you know, if I say 60 00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:19,029 this, what if that person says that we can spin and spend so 61 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:25,830 much time in the wondering and feeling like things are outside 62 00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,910 of control? And it doesn't help. 63 00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:32,510 It just creates a lot, a lot of stress and is very, very 64 00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:36,870 draining. So two places with respect to 65 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:40,550 bringing agency, a sense of what's in your control, 66 00:04:40,910 --> 00:04:44,310 especially around the idea of stress or anxiety. 67 00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:49,190 And first of all, stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. 68 00:04:49,510 --> 00:04:53,630 It's actually important and very useful and it can be energizing 69 00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:57,830 and it can call you to grow and expand and rise to the 70 00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:01,480 challenge. We want the right amount of 71 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:05,360 stress that actually keeps things interesting and helps us 72 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,080 grow. Where we can lose sight of it is 73 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:13,000 when we feel like we have no control over the things that are 74 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:17,640 creating a feeling of stress. So two different perspectives I 75 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,880 want to share with you. One is when it comes to stress, 76 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:25,480 I want you to consider your environment and 1st I want you 77 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,880 to think about your external environment. 78 00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:33,000 So because you are a human, you have a physical body and you 79 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:39,560 will respond on a physiological level to your environment. 80 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:44,560 And if your environment is not, you know, designed with you 81 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:47,360 specifically in mind, then you might be working in an 82 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:52,720 environment that tends to evoke a stress response in you. 83 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:58,070 This can be everything from the lighting that you have or you 84 00:05:58,070 --> 00:06:02,470 know in your workspace. It can include the noise or the 85 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:07,070 sounds around you, whether that creates a feeling of stress. 86 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:14,230 It also includes the emotional tone of the humans around you. 87 00:06:14,790 --> 00:06:19,350 So as a human you are, whether you're aware of it consciously 88 00:06:19,350 --> 00:06:24,900 or not, you are very perceptive and you are always kind of 89 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:28,420 sensing the emotional tone of the people around you. 90 00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:32,300 This is a quality that all humans are born with. 91 00:06:32,700 --> 00:06:36,460 You might be very attuned to it, or it might be a little bit more 92 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:40,260 in the background, but it's always there. 93 00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:45,770 And so, for example, if you are working in an environment with a 94 00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:50,210 lot of people who are very stressed out and very urgent and 95 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:55,290 very anxious, then there is a high likelihood that you also 96 00:06:55,570 --> 00:07:01,210 will mirror that and also be feeling highly stressed, highly 97 00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:06,330 urgent and very anxious because we tend to vibe with the 98 00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:09,810 emotional tone of the people around us. 99 00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:13,210 You know what that feels like. If you walk into a room and you 100 00:07:13,210 --> 00:07:18,460 can just feel the tension, you can tell that people are tense. 101 00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:21,700 You might not know why, but you can sense it. 102 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:26,580 And in the same like a sense, if you walk into a room and people 103 00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,620 are really relaxed and connecting and having a nice 104 00:07:30,620 --> 00:07:35,220 time, you can sense that too. And you also start to feel a 105 00:07:35,220 --> 00:07:40,460 little bit more relaxed, not because of any specific thing 106 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:45,720 that people have communicated in an overt way, but simply because 107 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:51,560 you can perceive the emotional tone of the of the people, the 108 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:57,920 humans that you are around. So the external environment can 109 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:03,040 have an effect on the stress that you experience in yourself. 110 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,520 The other part of environment that I want you to think about 111 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:11,830 is your internal environment, and that is the thoughts and the 112 00:08:11,830 --> 00:08:14,950 stories and the inner narrator that you have. 113 00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:18,590 It's also the emotions that you have. 114 00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:22,990 So for example, if you are doing something new that you haven't 115 00:08:22,990 --> 00:08:25,670 really done for the first time, like maybe you're leading your 116 00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:29,750 first, you know, big team meeting, you might have a voice 117 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:33,270 in your head that is telling you don't mess this up. 118 00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:35,230 Everybody's going to be looking at you. 119 00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,350 Everybody's going to be expecting you to know what 120 00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,320 you're doing, and you've never done this before. 121 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:46,640 And so you might have an internal voice that starts to 122 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:52,560 create a little bit more stress, a little more worry about 123 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:57,720 messing things up or what people will think because of that 124 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,640 internal voice. That's all the internal 125 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:04,400 environment, the story you're telling, the thoughts that 126 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:08,400 you're having, the internal narrator. 127 00:09:08,930 --> 00:09:11,330 And we all have an internal narrator. 128 00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:15,130 So we're not trying to eliminate it, but we want to illuminate 129 00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:19,010 and bring more awareness to what is actually happening. 130 00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:23,650 Because it is having an effect on you and it may create more 131 00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,290 stress or it may create more confidence. 132 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:31,110 It may create the right amount of stress where you feel 133 00:09:31,390 --> 00:09:35,870 anticipation and you feel ready and you feel prepared and just 134 00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:37,750 like, yes, let's go, let's do this. 135 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,910 I cannot wait. This is going to be fantastic. 136 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:45,270 Or it might be overwhelming and you might start to feel yourself 137 00:09:45,270 --> 00:09:49,390 kind of shut down and withdraw, and the mind goes blank in 138 00:09:49,390 --> 00:09:54,890 response to what that internal narrator is saying. 139 00:09:54,930 --> 00:09:57,810 So we want to be aware of that. The other part of internal 140 00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:00,370 environment is also your emotions. 141 00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:05,290 A lot of my clients come to me to help them dial into their 142 00:10:05,290 --> 00:10:10,050 confidence in a way that's not performative or inauthentic or 143 00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:13,970 faking, but in a way that actually connects them with and 144 00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:18,770 then amplifies something that feels genuine, something that 145 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:22,790 they can really kind of, like, sink their roots into. 146 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:26,390 The sense of the the confidence of, like, one of my clients 147 00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:29,230 describes it as elephant energy, right? 148 00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:33,230 Like she's she feels the energy of this really big powerful 149 00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:38,990 elephant and it's grounded and it is strong and it can move 150 00:10:39,390 --> 00:10:45,550 really in a relaxed way because the strength and confidence is 151 00:10:45,670 --> 00:10:49,150 unquestionable. She doesn't even need to explain 152 00:10:49,150 --> 00:10:52,910 it, She just exudes it. And so she likes to tap into 153 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:56,110 that visualization of that elephant energy. 154 00:10:56,510 --> 00:11:01,950 So the internal environment, the emotions and confidence is a way 155 00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:06,590 that we feel. This is why someone else can 156 00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:10,150 give you information, can say you know what you should, you 157 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:13,150 should be confident because of all these reasons. 158 00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:19,400 But your internal emotional experience might still feel 159 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:23,760 insecure, might still feel unsteady. 160 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:28,520 Confidence is an emotion. It's something that you generate 161 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:34,280 and something that you carry and bring with you into the room. 162 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:37,800 That's also why it sometimes might be really frustrating if 163 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:42,040 you're trying to generate it based on other people's 164 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,630 feedback, your external accomplishment. 165 00:11:45,990 --> 00:11:49,950 And you think, wow, like I achieved that external goal, 166 00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:53,510 like I got that promotion, but why do I actually not feel 167 00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:56,390 confident? Why do I feel more uncertain? 168 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,230 I thought that when I got that title or when I got that 169 00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:03,070 promotion or they got that job, I thought I would feel better, 170 00:12:03,430 --> 00:12:06,990 but I feel the same, like what is going on with that? 171 00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:11,510 Or sometimes if somebody gives you feedback and you think I 172 00:12:11,510 --> 00:12:14,590 should feel more confident based on that feedback, but why am I 173 00:12:14,590 --> 00:12:19,270 not able to take that in? Why am I in my mind saying, 174 00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:22,750 well, yeah, but, you know, it could have been better or yeah, 175 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:26,470 but, you know, you don't really know how, how challenging it was 176 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,230 to get there. And I'm not sure if we could do 177 00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:30,630 that. Again, that it's because the 178 00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:34,590 confidence doesn't come from something outside, it's comes 179 00:12:34,590 --> 00:12:36,390 from something that's on the inside. 180 00:12:36,900 --> 00:12:41,220 And while external environmental factors can influence it, 181 00:12:41,700 --> 00:12:47,060 ultimately it's something that can only exist through you and 182 00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:50,180 the internal experience that you have. 183 00:12:50,660 --> 00:12:55,140 So when we're talking about looking for agency, you can 184 00:12:55,140 --> 00:12:59,660 think of this in terms of both your external environment and 185 00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:03,580 your internal environment. With your external environment, 186 00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:08,570 it's questions like what is within my control, what choices 187 00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:15,210 do I have that can influence the environment outside of me to 188 00:13:15,210 --> 00:13:21,250 create a more welcoming and to facilitate just like a better, a 189 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:23,490 better way of being and of working. 190 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:28,210 Sometimes external environment is kind of like, I also think 191 00:13:28,210 --> 00:13:32,010 about it as your calendar like when you open up your calendar 192 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:37,230 and you look at it, how do you feel and if you feel bad or 193 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:42,950 overwhelmed or discouraged then your agency there is going to be 194 00:13:42,950 --> 00:13:48,030 the question of what's on that calendar and why and what can 195 00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:52,310 you do to adjust it even if it's just a little bit. 196 00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:56,550 So for example, I've coached a number of clients on their 197 00:13:56,550 --> 00:14:00,270 decision making around their calendar and also creating some 198 00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:04,710 rules for their themselves that they never had thought was 199 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,950 possible but turns out to actually be fine. 200 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:11,190 So you might choose like a no meeting Friday or a no meeting 201 00:14:11,190 --> 00:14:14,190 Wednesday and just let people know, hey, this is when we're 202 00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:17,670 going to do more focused work. So let's not schedule any 203 00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:23,030 meetings on this particular day. You might also block a chunk of 204 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,350 time. You might say okay, you know on 205 00:14:25,350 --> 00:14:29,360 Mondays, you know do not schedule anything for me before 206 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:32,840 11 because that's we're going to do focused strategic thinking 207 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,280 for the week. And so I will not be available 208 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:39,200 for meetings at that time. You can look at your schedule 209 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:43,200 and your calendar and start to make decisions and block chunks 210 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,320 of time off for different kinds of work. 211 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:50,960 Look for the agency and this is often something that comes from 212 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,760 a mindset shift, from going from a place of of. 213 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,600 So I need to say yes to everything in order to be a 214 00:14:57,600 --> 00:15:01,840 great team player or in order to be available and instead we 215 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:05,640 start thinking what is the best and highest use of your time. 216 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,520 And as you rise in your career, you are going to need to make 217 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:13,920 more intentional and deliberate decisions about that rather than 218 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:19,080 feel like you have no choice. So that's just one one example 219 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,840 of what it looks like when you look for agency in the external 220 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,690 environment, for internal environment. 221 00:15:25,690 --> 00:15:28,290 We can look for agency there too. 222 00:15:28,650 --> 00:15:33,690 And that's where we start to listen to and illuminate and 223 00:15:33,690 --> 00:15:38,530 then question some of the stories or the assumptions or 224 00:15:38,530 --> 00:15:44,170 the fears that are lurking inside your own mind. 225 00:15:44,330 --> 00:15:48,370 The stories and the thoughts that you tell yourself that seem 226 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:52,340 really true, but maybe they are not. 227 00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:56,700 Maybe it's just something that you've believed for a long time, 228 00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,420 and maybe it's time to update or change that belief. 229 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:02,860 Maybe it's a story that has served you well, and maybe it's 230 00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:06,420 time to either release or expand the story. 231 00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:10,660 So, for example, I was chatting with one of my clients and she 232 00:16:10,660 --> 00:16:13,020 said that she's always felt like an underdog. 233 00:16:13,180 --> 00:16:16,100 She's always felt like she had to really prove herself, that 234 00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:19,580 things didn't come easy for her. She's always felt at a 235 00:16:19,580 --> 00:16:23,660 disadvantage and has just had to be really scrappy and tough in 236 00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:28,460 order to do as well as the folks around her. 237 00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:33,780 Another thing I hear a lot is the is the the story of I will 238 00:16:33,780 --> 00:16:36,940 always have to work twice as hard to get the same 239 00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:41,700 recognition. And when the story ends there, 240 00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:46,610 it can start to feel pretty heavy and pretty like 241 00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:48,650 disempowering. Like I have no choice. 242 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:51,210 That's just how it is. That's my lot in life. 243 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:55,770 But one of the ways we can look for more agency around that is 244 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:58,770 we can number one, start to expand that story. 245 00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:03,050 So for example, maybe the story is really like, you know what, 246 00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:07,210 Because my background or because of who I am, it's it's a little 247 00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,609 bit different than the people that I work with. 248 00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:15,150 Which means that I have advantages and I have skills and 249 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:19,470 resources that they are not going to identify. 250 00:17:19,589 --> 00:17:22,230 Like I actually bring something pretty extraordinary to the 251 00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:24,270 table. And of course they may not 252 00:17:24,270 --> 00:17:27,910 recognize it, but I know exactly how to use it to my best 253 00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:30,950 advantage. And that's a good thing. 254 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:37,470 Being able to recognize what you do have as opposed to feeling 255 00:17:37,470 --> 00:17:41,710 what you don't, that becomes really like a very different way 256 00:17:41,710 --> 00:17:45,240 of experiencing the your internal environment. 257 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,920 As another example, I was talking with a friend of mine 258 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:52,600 who in the last year or so was recently diagnosed with a 259 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,520 different neurodiversity diagnosis and he said, Oh my 260 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,840 gosh, it's just it made things a lot easier because I understand 261 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,440 more now about how my own brain and nervous system works. 262 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,920 And he recently started a new job. 263 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:08,880 And he said that when he was in the interview process, we just 264 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:11,680 told them up front. He's like, so just so, you know, 265 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:13,800 like, I'm neurodiverse in these ways. 266 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,480 And here's how it's awesome, how I have these really unique 267 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:22,080 strengths in the way that my brain works, and here's how it's 268 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,320 not awesome. Here are the ways it can really 269 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,840 get in my way. So you can expect that I will 270 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,640 take mental healthcare days and I will not do these kinds of 271 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,920 things. And yeah, like, I don't do that 272 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,800 kind of thing. And you should just know, like, 273 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,030 that's how it works with me. And he had so much confidence 274 00:18:40,030 --> 00:18:44,030 and so much ease and this attitude and internal story of, 275 00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:46,230 of course they're going to want to hire me. 276 00:18:46,550 --> 00:18:50,870 I'm amazing at what I do and I'm amazing in ways that they 277 00:18:50,870 --> 00:18:55,670 probably don't have on their team because I have this 278 00:18:55,670 --> 00:19:00,270 particular quality about myself. It wasn't a deficiency. 279 00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:03,510 It wasn't a problem. It's just, yeah, like, so this 280 00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:05,150 is how it works. This is how I work. 281 00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:13,160 So because he was so capable and so comfortable managing that 282 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:17,240 internal environment, his thoughts and his emotions about 283 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:21,840 how he was seeing himself as he kind of had this, this new 284 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:28,040 awareness, it then affected the way that he communicated and 285 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,400 presented. And I loved it. 286 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,180 I feel like that's such a great, such a great example. 287 00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:36,180 And sometimes we don't see people doing that because we 288 00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:38,580 just don't have visibility to it, so we don't even know it's 289 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:41,260 possible. So that's what I wanted to 290 00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:45,020 really offer today as something to think about is you want to 291 00:19:45,020 --> 00:19:49,740 look for agency, what's in your control, what's in your sphere 292 00:19:49,740 --> 00:19:53,940 of influence, Where is your choice, you know? 293 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:57,780 And sometimes the place where your choices is simply realizing 294 00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:00,340 I'm the one who's choosing to be here. 295 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:03,170 So if it's not good or if there's something I want to 296 00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:08,130 change, that's on me because I'm choosing to be here. 297 00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:12,530 I'm choosing to be here for now. I'm choosing to be here for now. 298 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:16,010 Because, right. That starts to bring us back to 299 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:20,770 a strategic perspective so that you know why you're choosing 300 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:23,810 something, even if it's difficult or not ideal. 301 00:20:24,770 --> 00:20:27,250 Also. Then look to your environment, 302 00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:30,130 Look to the external environment, the things outside 303 00:20:30,130 --> 00:20:34,890 of yourself and the internal environment, the things inside 304 00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:39,530 the stories, the thoughts that narrative, the emotions. 305 00:20:39,930 --> 00:20:43,970 And I will tell you, sometimes it can be tricky to learn how to 306 00:20:43,970 --> 00:20:48,770 do this, especially when you are simply moving at the speed of 307 00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:51,330 life. Because a lot can happen in a 308 00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:55,020 day, a lot can happen in a week and it can sometimes feel 309 00:20:55,020 --> 00:21:01,540 difficult to pause and reflect and take a high level view to 310 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:05,980 develop that self-awareness and then to create some intentional 311 00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:09,340 choices. It can be tricky to do so. 312 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:12,540 That's what I like to do with my clients, whether we're working 313 00:21:12,540 --> 00:21:14,620 one-on-one or especially in Group. 314 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:17,860 And I want to invite you to come work with me. 315 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:22,360 The three things that you'll get Will, you'll get mindset and 316 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,440 strategic thinking, coaching so that you become more intentional 317 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:31,160 and strategic that gets you out of being reactive and feeling 318 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,560 like what's going on. There's a lot going on. 319 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,400 I just need to react and respond and be a good workhorse. 320 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,720 No, no, no. We're going to, we're going to 321 00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:42,080 shift that. We need to work on mindset. 322 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:45,200 We need to get you to a place of strategic thinking. 323 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,250 So you're being intentional and bringing a little more 324 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:51,210 self-awareness. That will give you more agency. 325 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:54,770 We're also going to work on your communication skills, both in 326 00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:59,330 terms of specific tactical things like feedback, strategy 327 00:21:59,330 --> 00:22:03,690 and when and how you do that. But also bigger picture, what 328 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,490 are you afraid to say? Who are you afraid to say it to? 329 00:22:06,730 --> 00:22:10,450 We need to look at what are your communication patterns, the ones 330 00:22:10,450 --> 00:22:13,890 that are serving you and the ones that are not, and what does 331 00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:19,580 it mean and how to begin to level up to become more 332 00:22:19,660 --> 00:22:22,220 effective in the way that you communicate with folks. 333 00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:28,140 And 3rd confidence, confidence, especially in your decision 334 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:33,580 making, so that when you make a decision, you trust yourself. 335 00:22:33,580 --> 00:22:38,580 You understand the basis upon which you are making a choice. 336 00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:42,020 That will mean that you're not second guessing yourself. 337 00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:46,290 It gets you out of rumination. It gets you out of replaying 338 00:22:46,290 --> 00:22:52,090 scenarios over and over again, or deferring to other people and 339 00:22:52,090 --> 00:22:54,850 looking for their approval on your decisions. 340 00:22:55,090 --> 00:22:59,290 We want to really connect your sense of selfconfidence. 341 00:22:59,730 --> 00:23:02,170 Even when you're doing something that you've never done before, 342 00:23:02,490 --> 00:23:06,130 even when you're feeling a lot of pressure, we still want to 343 00:23:06,290 --> 00:23:10,290 access and connect to your internal sense of confidence. 344 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,760 And as a manager and leader, you are going to make a lot of 345 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:18,760 decisions. So we want to really understand 346 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:24,120 how are you making decisions and do that in a way that you feel 347 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:27,840 confident about. It will make a huge difference 348 00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:32,120 in your daytoday work experience, in your longterm 349 00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:38,240 career path, and also just for yourself personally to have the 350 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,520 more time and energy where you're not kind of spinning in 351 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,120 your mind and wondering like, ah, what should I do? 352 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,880 Is it this is it that we can get you to a place where you feel 353 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:53,360 more grounded, where you have a plan and a process that lets you 354 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,240 connect to agency and feel a little bit more control so that 355 00:23:57,240 --> 00:24:00,800 you can have a better experience and be more effective at work? 356 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,400 So that is what I wanted to share with you. 357 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:08,000 Come work with me by either booking a consult in the show 358 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:09,400 notes. That's where we talk about 359 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,640 one-on-one coaching or sign up for my group program. 360 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,000 We kick off in September and it'll be a place where you 361 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:21,680 really get focused time with other managers. 362 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,360 And we're all talking about and working on mindset, 363 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,160 communication skills and growing confidence and decision making, 364 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,400 being a bit more strategic, getting out of that reactive 365 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:36,520 mode and just giving a a more clear sense of what you're doing 366 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:42,400 and how and why so that you show up better at work and you have a 367 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:45,640 better experience. It's also a great opportunity to 368 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:49,200 bring the challenges that you're facing date like day-to-day, 369 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,840 because we want to address those as quickly as possible so that 370 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,280 you are equipped for whatever else comes up. 371 00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:01,920 The better that we can identify the issue and then find a path 372 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,160 to resolution, the more energy and time you'll save and the 373 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,600 more effective you become. So that's what we're here for. 374 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,560 Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you next 375 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:20,720 time. Hey, before you go, if you like 376 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:25,960 this podcast, leave a review. Tell me why you listen and what 377 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,240 has helped you. Thanks so much. 378 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,400 I'll see you next time.